All language subtitles for The.Object.of.My.Affection.1998.720p. English

Welcome to the Brinkley School
and our first grade show.

I'm George Hanson,
and this afternoon we

are proud to present
our own adaptation

of "The Little Mermaid."

Music will be provided
by the Brinkley Trio led

by my co-teacher Melissa Marx.

And now on with the show.

Hi.

I'm Nina Borowski.

And I think all of you are new
here, so welcome to the Cobble.

Hill Community Centre.

I'll be your group
leader, and we

could talk about whatever
you'd like... school,

home, jobs, sex, anything.

Sea Snakes.

Sting rays.

Ooh!

I miss anything?

Honey, I just signed Castro.

Shh!

Sally, you're on.

Ew!

I know exactly what
you've come for.

Well, this boy
I've been seeing,

and now he wants to fuck me.

He's only gonna hurt you.

Well, do want to fuck him?

Well, he's cute.

Hey, he's like men.

Does he say he loves you?

Yeah, but he just wants
to get in my pants.

But do you love him?

Nina, isn't that right?

Well, I don't know about that.

But what I do know is,
if I have sex with a guy

I want him to be my friend.

So let's start with,
do you like him?

I will give you anything
if I can have my prince.

Come with me then.

And whilst my slave girl
weaves her magic spell

I will cut off your tongue.

Play girl, play!

Where is he?

Who are looking for, George?

Just a friend of mine.

He says if I don't fuck him,

he's going to find
another girlfriend.

All right look, Keesha, I don't
claim to be an expert on love.

But I do know it can
screw up your life.

So should I do it?

You can say no.

Keeping your boyfriend happy
is not your full-time job.

You've got school, family,
work, your friends.

You call the shots.

You guys were great!

All right, let them prove it.

Excuse us.

Come on.

All right, get in line.

Get in line.

Hey!

Shh.

Just a minute.

All right.

Daddy!

Oh, you were great!

You were terrific.

I loved you up there.

Mommy!

Mr. Hanson, that
was a great show.

I think that was you best yet.

Well, hey, we had a great
sea witch and a great cast.

- Wasn't she fabulous?
- Now don't be so humble.

I've seen a lot of kid shoes.

They bore the hell out of me.

This one had grit.

Grit?

Yeah, it was, uh, the
real stuff, you know.

It wasn't all gooey.

Thank you, Mr. Miller.

Call me Sidney.

Come on, guys, let's go.

Uh, George, we're having a
few people over to our house

for dinner tonight.

We'd love it if you'd join us.

Oh, that would be great.

Yeah, do that.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry Mrs. Miller.

I'm meeting a friend.

Oh, well, bring a friend.

It's very casual.

Everyone's dying to meet you.

Yeah.

Really?

Hey, listen, you're a hero.

I mean, who cares if I
can get Fidel $1 million

to write his diary?

You... you're fighting for
the future of this country.

We'll see you at 7:30.

You were so good.

I can't believe
how good you were.

Where's Dr. Joley?

I'd kill my boyfriend
if he missed my show.

Bye, bye.

Bye, guys.

Good job you guys.

See you later, Michael.

It was great.

Just give me back two.

Hey.

Oh, Thank you.

I got stuck in a faculty
meeting, and then the subway.

And then the dog
ate your homework.

See you tomorrow, George.

I... I just hate myself
for missing this.

It's OK, really.

It's OK.

You hungry?

I'm in the mood for sushi.

Oh, I wish.

I just told Constance Miller
we'd have dinner at her house.

I'm sorry, Joley,
she ambushed me.

But don't worry, she
said it was casual.

George, Sidney Miller
is the most powerful

literary agent in the world.

Casual to the Miller's
is not casual to us.

And actually, I was hoping
we could talk tonight, alone.

OK, I'll cancel.

You can't cancel, it's
important for your career.

Come on, we'll talk later.

Are you sure?

Well, I wrote it
as an academic book,

but I think it could be a best
seller, and even a miniseries.

And Sean Connery would make
a great George Bernard Shaw.

Maybe your friend George
could do something with it.

That was a great
show this afternoon.

So did you, uh, go to
a teacher's college?

No, I was pre-med at college.

Oh, god!

You poor mother.

George?

George, I want you to meet my
great friend, Joyce Meyers.

Oh, Joyce.

How are you?

I so wanted to see your
show, but I got caught

up in a lunch for King Hussein.

Oh, how is he?

Sidney's waiting for his book.

Shall we?

Well, Noor is adorable.

And the children!

You know, Ross, he
went to Princeton,

ignored her when
she was just little.

Lisa Holiday!

Now listen, listen to this.

People don't read anything.

We're in a post-literate
society so they don't know

what to do once they're...

Dr. Joley seems to have made
a hit with my stepsister.

How long have you
two been together?

Uh, four years.

You know, Sidney
represents RuPaul.

We'll have you
all over sometime.

Sidney, don't you
think it's time

for a revised encyclopaedia
of the American theatre?

Emery, darling, when's
the Pavarotti gala?

Uh, next week.

You've done
such wonderful things

with that company.

Everyone says you've completely
turned it around, I think.

I adore heavy tenors.

Sounds like your
show was a huge hit.

Yeah, well, the kids
worked really hard.

Hm.

I'm sorry I missed it.

Oh, that's OK.

I was in bed with King Hussein.

George Hanson.

Nina Borowski, hi.

Oh, so you're the stepsister.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I bring the income level
down at Constance's parties

by at least three figures.

Yeah, I can help you
in that department.

Oh, thank you.

My pleasure.

I heard all about
you from Dr. Joley.

Sorry about your and him.

Oh!

OK, here we go.

Come here.

Come here.

You see that man who
just walked in, standing

there with my evil stepsister.

Mm-hmm.

That's my husband.

Are you married?

No, I'm not.

But she's hoping that
I'll marry that man,

because she hates my boyfriend.

Oh, uh, there's my stepsister
Nina, you'll meet her later.

And excuse me.

Oh, Joyce...

All right, we're clear.

Oh!

She's always doing this to me.

Why?

Oh, because my boyfriend's
a penniless legal aid lawyer.

I'm a counsellor at
a community centre.

And I live in a
walk-up in Brooklyn.

Oh, well, it sounds fine to me.

I love Brooklyn.

Yeah, me too.

You know, you should... you
should come and visit me.

I mean, there's some really nice
apartments in my neighbourhood.

I'm afraid I'm not
looking for an apartment.

You're not?

No, I live with Joley.

But he told me at
dinner that you might

be looking for a place soon.

Well, he told you what?

Actually, when he found
out I had a spare room

he asked if you could
move in with me.

That's insane.

Well, I thought so.

It's not every day I invite the
lover of my dinner companion

to live with me, but,
you know, if you're

desperate I could always...

I don't know what
you're talking about.

All we would
have to do is, uh, get

the rights to the photographs.

Well, I don't believe it
would be that difficult.

My point is that
I believe that it

could be extremely commercial,
as well as.

And by the way, I've...

You know, maybe I have
this completely backwards.

Maybe he meant for the two
you to... to move to Brooklyn.

Thank you.

What else did he say?

Have you never
discussed this before?

No, this is a
total first for me.

Nina?

Oh, my god.

Oh!

Nina, this is Stephen Saint.

Hi.

I was asking Constance
all about you.

Hello, George.

You are very fresh and natural.

He is the most fabulous
creative director at Sachi's.

Oh.

And you're a cute shrink.

That's an unbeatable
combination.

Mm-hmm.

My sister likes to
say I'm a shrink.

I'm actually a social worker.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

George, come with me.

I'm having problems
with my centrepiece.

Oh, hey.

Um, I think the work that
you do is fantastic, really.

I think you got
a lot of courage.

George, in the book.

If there's anything I can do.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

What did she say?

Good night.

You were great!

You were just great!

Oh!

And those women!

My god!

Oh, they were
swarming all over you.

It... well, you were the
centre of attention.

And I, of course, was, uh, stuck
next to that social worker.

Oh, well.

You told her I wanted
to move to Brooklyn.

What?

God damn it, Joley.

You told her I was moving out.

I told her you might be
looking for an apartment.

I wanted to wait till your play
was open to bring any of this

up.

Well, you certainly
didn't waste any time.

George, can we talk about
this when we get home?

This isn't really appropriate.

Really?

But it's entirely
appropriate for me

to hear my relationship is
over from a complete stranger?

Our relationship isn't over.

Who are you
sleeping with, Joley?

Please!

I... that's just... that's
just a little simple.

Yeah, well, I'm a simple guy.

That's why I teach first grade.

George, I'm going
to be 40 this summer.

Oh, god!

But we're both too
young to settle

for a twin bedded friendship.

This hasn't really been
working for a long time.

Who have you got
lined up, Joley?

He's a student of mine.

But I... I don't
know what to say.

Is this student the
reason you missed my play?

He's just breaking up with a
woman and he wanted to talk.

Look, I want to be with him,
but I don't want to hurt you.

George, you're my best friend.

What should I do?

Fuck You, Joley.

And fuck your student.

And fuck our friendship.

I didn't want to tell you
this until you were ready.

I'm a nice man, George.

Great neighbourhood.

Looks very safe here,
a lot of families.

Hey, look, I'll call you.

I can't get Showtime or HBO.

Never mind the Food Network.

I'm here for Nina Borowski.

After you fix her's,
you come and fix mine.

Hi.

Hi.

This is really embarrassing.

Aw, come on in.

I was happy that you called.

I mean, I wasn't happy that
you needed a place to stay,

but still happy that you called.

Come on up.

I'm on the second floor.

Come on in.

Oh, this is great.

All right, let me
show you the room.

Oh, it's nice.

It could use some personality.

Uh, but I... I know somebody
at the Community Centre

who can make some curtains.

Oh, that... this won't
be for a very long.

I can move in with my brother
as soon his current girlfriend

moves out.

No rush.

And, uh, this is the bathroom.

This is my bedroom.

Oh, fuck.

You get a lot of light.

Yeah.

And this is the office.

Oh.

That's it.

It's nice.

Yeah, he's been
engaged seven times.

Wow, really?

Your brother?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, would you like me
to fix you up with him.

Oh, thanks.

The last thing I need.

I've got my hands
full with Vince.

It's ready.

Mind if I ask you something?

Sure.

How come I'm staying
here and he isn't?

Oh, Vince works fine as it is.

Sit down.

Thanks.

You saved my life, really.

No hot water between
2:00 and 7:00.

Did you get your
television fixed Mrs. Sarni?

Why, you would
come over and watch?

So you have the keys, you
have the phone... phone number.

And the buzzer doesn't
work, you know that.

Uh, the Korean deli is across
the street from the subway.

It's open 'til midnight.

Avoid the salad bar.

Toaster is broken.

Use the broiler instead.

The mail comes in the morning.

Don't open the door
for any gas men,

unless you think either
of us would be interested.

This is me.

Well, thanks for everything.

Oh, sure.

The subway is one
block that way.

See you later.

What's happened to Vince?

Nothing has happened to Vince.

What's happened to Joley?

Nothing's happened to Joley.

I tried to call you
there this morning.

He said you've moved.

So we did it on Saturday night.

Ah!

Fantastic!

And was it good?

It was OK, until on Sunday
I saw him with another girl.

What a moron!

Ain't that... what did I say.

Keesha, Keesha, I like sex.

And I like boys a lot.

But I am not about to waste my
time with some guy who doesn't

see things the way that I do.

I mean, do you
really need this guy?

This is the Earth.

And this tack, that's
us, right here.

And the lamp is the sun.

So why does it get dark?

The Earth spins.

Very good.

Because the Earth spins.

And how do we know that?

Copernicus.

Nina?

Nina, is that you?

Hey!

George, how are you?

Vince McBride.

You know what?

Nina has told me all about you.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, glad your here, buddy.

You know, I feel better
knowing somebody is

keeping an eye out for my girl.

Hey.

Vince, meet George.

Actually, we're
old friends already.

Hey, George, join
us for a cup of tea?

You know, you don't have
to put on a robe for me.

Yeah.

No.

In fact, George,
you could probably

take off all of your clothes and
I don't think Vince would mind.

She's eating me alive.

I dote on her, and
she's eating me alive.

Oh, OK.

See, aren't you glad you
settled down with us?

I was maybe going
to be a teacher once.

You know, get 'em
while their young.

Teach them they don't have to
believe that somebody else's is

holding all the cards.

You know what I'm
saying, George?

He knows, Vince.

No, he knows and
he doesn't know.

How come you don't teach
at a public school, George?

I got a job at the
Brinkley School.

But you're a gay guy.

Shouldn't you be sticking
up for the disenfranchised?

Can we talk about
the movie, please?

No, now wait a minute.

Uh, you mind if I ask
how much you get paid?

You make more than
four figures, right?

In the very early five figures.

Oh, Christ almighty.

And their all
fucking millionaires.

You know, they... they
couldn't eat lunch

on what they're paying you.

You know, you got to organise
the teachers, George.

I'll help you.

You're all getting screwed.

You know that, don't you?

Well, thanks.

That's... that's
all great advice.

But I'm afraid I
have school tomorrow,

so it's great to meet you.

You too.

Good night, George.

Good night.

Night, George.

Oh, you terrorised him.

What are talking about?

We were having a
nice conversation.

You told him he had the wrong
job and he made no money.

No, no, no.

You weren't listening.

I told him he had the right
job in the wrong place

and made no money.

You don't even know him.

That never stopped me before.

Oh, my stepsister is right.

You are just a bulldozer.

What are you talking about?

I'm a pussy cat.

Well, did I get angry with
you when you let a gay guy

move in here instead of me?

No.

No.

I like him.

Vince, you don't
have to like him.

But there is one thing.

How come it's OK for him to
live on top of you and not me?

He's not living on top of me.

And he's leaving in two weeks.

No, no, no.

He's never going anywhere.

He's gonna fall in love
with you and turn straight.

Oh!

You're crazy.

Naw, not if you're looking
at what I'm looking at.

Vince.

What?

Get in here.

Hi.

Hey.

Late night comfort
food, bad habit.

Shh, shh. Vince is asleep.

He's really very kind.

He just felt threatened by you.

That's insane.

No it isn't.

He asked me the
same thing you did.

Why am I living
here and he isn't?

Bingo.

Maybe you should
be the counsellor.

Do you love him?

Yeah.

Whatever that means.

Just don't know if I
should be living with him.

Vince can really fill a room.

Did you love Joley?

Well, who knows?

I thought... I thought so.

Oh, god.

George, I'm sorry.

Aw, it's... it's so stupid that,
uh, he and I... I don't know.

He's an evasive prick.

I keep thinking I should
have seen it coming.

No.

No.

You did nothing wrong.

You... you just trusted him.

But you wouldn't
have let this happen.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

I don't trust
anybody, particularly

not amusing, good-looking,
intelligent guys like Joley.

And he has great taste.

Mm.

Aw, he doesn't have
such great taste.

Otherwise he'd
still be with you.

Thank you.

Hm.

We should go dancing.

What?

The Community Centre
on Friday nights.

I'm signing us up.

You must think of every dance
as a three minutes love affair.

Boy meets girl.

They fall in love with
the music, and this dance,

and the orchestra.

And then, they must part.

I... I have no idea
what I'm doing.

I'm... I can't dance.

I can't even dah-nce.

Just smile.

On the balls of your feet.

You're a butterfly.

Does that mean left or right?

Hair up, young people.

Please, hair up.

Head up, young person.

Head up.

I'm gonna fix you up.

That's what Kennedy
and I have decided.

After all, what
are brothers for?

I'm healing.

You're avoiding.

Whenever I call, you're
at home, or you're

doing mambo with your landlady.

It's not healthy.

You've got to get
back out there again.

Don't you think so, sweetie?

Absolutely.

Honey, I've got to get
back to the magazine.

It was nice meeting you.

Yeah.

You too.

So, uh, man.

What do you think, huh?

Thumbs up, thumbs down?

She seems nice.

I'm gonna fix you up.

I don't want to be fixed up.

I have a very nice boyfriend.

He's a Bolshevik.

And anyway, it's
not going anywhere.

Why does it have
to go anywhere?

Because, at some point you
have to take care of yourself.

I am taking care of myself.

I just don't need the
things that you do.

You've got to meet this guy.

What guy?

He's an ear, nose,
and throat man.

He was just on the cover
of "New York Magazine."

George, at some point you're
going to have to start

taking care of yourself.

I'm taking care of myself.

Listen to me.

He's an ear, nose,
and throat man.

But there's nothing
wrong with me.

I don't even have a cold.

Y... lo... I have nothing
in common with this guy.

Just have a cup
of coffee with him.

I promise you, this
is quality goods.

Uh... uh, George Hanson?

Yeah.

Well, I... I'm
Jonathan Goldstein.

You're adorable.

I mean, your bother is cute, but
you're... you're irresistible.

Uh, did anybody ever tell
you, you look like a peach?

No.

So you're an ear,
nose, and throat man?

Well, that's my, uh, you
know, professional life.

Mm-hmm.

I have other interests that
go below the upper torso.

Ha, ha, ha.

That's... say, so I heard you
were on the cover of, uh,

the "New York Magazine?"

Mm.

Uck.

I got 3,000 new patients,
6,000 marriage proposals,

and not a single real date.

You want another drink?

Yeah.

Do you think he's all right?

Who?

George.

He hasn't been a
date in a while,

and people can be really creepy.

Just put your zip
code right there.

Oh, Nina, he's dating
a famous doctor.

What do we do if
he brings him home?

Well, we'll be
happy in our room.

And they'll be
busy in their room.

Sounds very active.

Mr. Shapiro, you're all done.

Can I touch your nose?

It's like a tulip.

Mr. Shapiro,
I have to warn you.

This woman has a
gay roommate who

shows no signs of moving out.

Big deal.

Everyone's gay now.

Ah, you tell him, Mr. Shapiro.

Gay?

Oh.

Her... her... her
daughter's a lesbian.

And she's very proud.

There you go.

Mrs. Ochoa is the
president of New York.

Mothers of Latino Lesbians.

Well!

Good for you.

You're a good mother.

We are here.

Get used to it.

Don't fuck with us.

See, Mr. Shapiro, my problem
is, I love this woman.

And I want to live with her.

Do you make a living?

Sure, I'm a lawyer.

Ah!

Lawyers are the worst people.

Marry me, honey.

I was in children's footwear.

Hello?

Hello.

You there?

I'm here.

Ha.

Hey.

Hey.

Where's Dr. Goldstein?

I don't know, home.

I thought maybe, um...

Yeah, I thought maybe not.

Oh, um, remind me to never
go on another blind date.

You don't have to.

Just say no.

Good night.

Good night.

Step, step.

Quick, quick.

Step, step.

Quick, quick.

Slow, slow.

Quick, quick.

Slow, slow.

Quick, very good.

Very good.

Yeah.

Very nice, Sylvia.

Excellent.

Much better.

Very good.

No, no, no, no, no.

Head up, young person.

Head up.

Please, excuse us.

Sure.

Hello, Nina.

Oh, hi, Danny.

You're... whoop.

Help!

Look at me.

No, no, no, no.

Please.

Stop it.

Danny, come on.

Just stop touching...
Madame Reynolds!

T-A-N-G-O. T-A-N-G-O. Woo!

Oh!

Oh, no, no, no.

Please get up young people.

Get up.

Now one, two, side step.

One, two, side step.

Glide.

Glide.

Glide, Betty.

Smile, Mrs. Wilson.

Let the music carry you away.

Yes!

Quick, quick steps.

And quick, quick steps.

And quick, quick steps.

Good job.

Thank you, well done!

Well done!

Watch them.

They are an example
for all of you.

Bravo!

Oh, he's so sexy.

Who, Gene Kelly?

Mm, yeah.

Not my type, at all.

What is your type?

Well, it varies.

It depends.

Who was the first person
you ever slept with?

What is this? 20 Questions?

What?

I want to know.

Lucy Jane Parnell.

What?

Mm.

Belmore High School prom night.

Gave her a real good time.

You slept with a girl?

Yeah.

Well, Lucy was my high
school girlfriend.

What... what happened?

Well, I, uh, went to college.

And I found myself lusting
after the football team

more than the cheerleaders.

So I kind of figured I was gay.

What happened to Lucy Jane?

Well, I... I guess
she got married.

You know, or she runs
an insurance company.

I have no idea.

I don't... but she was nice.

Mm.

And an unbelievable dancer.

My god, could Lucy
tear up the floor.

Was she pretty?

Yeah.

She had these big eyes and
this pouty little mouth.

And her nose, it was
just like a tulip.

I just wanted to touch it.

It was the most fresh and
natural looking nose...

Stop it!

Fuck you, George!

Fuck you.

I just wanted to touch it.

Stop it!

No, don't do it!

No, no.

Don't start tickling.

Aah!

Aah!

Yesterday, we studied Easter.

And today, we're going to learn
about the Jewish holiday called.

Passover.

My father's Jewish and
my mother's Buddhist.

But.

All right.

My mother's Episcopal, and her
boyfriend's ethical culture.

Wow.

Both of my parents
are Lutheran.

So what?

Both of my parents are reformed.

My mother is AA and
my father is Christian.

My dad is Muslim
and my mom's a atheist.

I'll be right back.

When did you find out?

About an hour ago.

I don't know what to do.

Tell me what to do.

I can't.

Maybe you should talk to Vince.

He is the father.

Yeah, Vince.

Vince believes in a
woman's right to choose, as

long as he does the choosing.

No.

I can't talk to Vince until I
figure out what I want to do.

I just need some time to think.

Well, I'm here for you, Nina.

Whatever you need
for me to do, I will.

Oh!

She hasn't spoken
to me in three weeks.

It's not personal.

She's been busy.

Is she seeing somebody else?

Huh?

No, no, no.

What?

She's a very beautiful girl.

There's men hitting
on her all the time.

There's no one else, Vince.

So you... you two still
spend a lot of time together.

Right?

What sort of things
do you do together?

Well, we talk.

You know, we go to the movies.

Sometimes we go dancing.

Regular stuff.

You go dancing.

Then what?

Then we go home, we get into
bed and watch television.

But you're not a
threat to her, huh?

Is that the attraction?

I'm not su... I don't know.

Now, you know
what I mean, George.

You're not offering her
anything more than friendship?

Of course I'm not offering her
anything more than friendship.

Come on, guys!

I made up my mind.

I'll take you wherever
you want to go.

George, I'm going
to have this baby.

You are?

Yeah.

That's great.

You're going to be
a wonderful mother.

Lucky baby.

And, Nina, you are
going to make Vince.

McBride the happiest man alive.

This is so great!

I get to be in charge of
all musical education.

OK, tell Vince I get
to pick all the songs.

This great.

This is so great!

Good decision.

George, could we go celebrate?

George, would you consider
raising this baby with me?

Of course.

I'll be Uncle George.

You're never going
to get rid of me.

Actually, I was
thinking we should keep

living together, like a family.

What about Vince?

Well, he's the father.

I mean, there's no
question about that.

He'll always be
in my baby's life.

But he's not home to me.

You are.

You can't do that to Vince.

George, my father married
somebody wrong, because he

thought it was good for me.

I can't do that to my kid.

I... me and Vince and the
baby... it's a bad equation.

Jesus Christ, Nina.

Vince is the father.

You should be with the
father of your child.

Don't you see how
exciting this could be?

You love children.

You could raise a child.

I don't want to marry Vince.

I don't have to marry Vince.

And I don't want to marry you.

George, I'm not
proposing marriage.

We can make this
up for ourselves.

None of the old rules apply.

It's getting late.

We should go.

Won't you even think about it?

Sure.

Hey, I'm very, you know?

Hello.

Nina, darling.

Yeah?

We're Right around the corner.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

We've been to brunch at Norman
Mailer's in Brooklyn Heights.

Oh.

You can go as soon
as we get there.

Yeah.

So I thought we'd
swing by and say hi.

- I have to to go real bad.
- We're almost there.

Yeah, we'll right over.

We're almost
there, don't worry.

She's thrilled.

Fuck!

It's Constance.

That can't be them already.

Hey.

Unbelievable.

Oh, Vince.

You should have called.

Aw, what good would
that have done me?

Sidney and Constance
are coming over.

Terrific.

I got plenty of
food for everybody.

Is George still here too?

Yes, he's here.

Oh, good.

So the whole gang's
together again.

It'll be just like old times.

Hey, you look thin.

I'm fine.

We need to talk.

We're talking.

Some more bread.

We got the salami, the
prosciutto that you

love so much, the cheese.

We got some herring.

And we have some deliciously
fresh mozzarella.

Vince, how many people
were you expecting?

Uh, I thought maybe
some more people

moved into the spare room.

You know, I don't know
what goes on here, George.

She doesn't even talk to me.

You got any more plates?

Look, why are Constance
and Sidney coming?

I'll get it.

George!

Hey, it's the sea witch.

- Excuse me.
- Can I go the bathroom?

Is there a party
going on upstairs?

No, no.

We're going to see Nina.

You know Nina.

George, is there a party?

Come on, tell me.
Is there a party up there?

No, there's no party.

Did you tell these
guests there's

no hot water after 8:00 PM?

Thank you.

I can't afford these bills.

- Thank you, Mrs. Sarni.
- Thank you very much.

- I'm a widow woman.
- She's terrific.

Who needs a doorman when
you have Mrs. Sarni?

Just hurry up and get inside.

You know, I really envy you
your living here, George.

Really?

- Sure.
- Everybody, will you stop.

Sure, what do you need with a...
Talking?

Dining room, butler's pantry?

- I really have to go.
- Dinner parties.

It's all a big headache.

I want to go now!

Bill Styron lived in a
place just like this when he

thought of "Sophie's Choice."

Sidney, what the hell
are you talking about?

Hi.

God, it's hot.
It's like August all ready.

You've been avoiding me.

Oh, no.

Hiya, sugar.

How are you?

Hi.

How do you get
through a whole summer

without air
conditioning in here?

Hey!

Vinnie!

Hey, Sidney.

It's good to see you.

Come eat, huh?

Ooh, this looks good.

Are you having a party?

So, who you defending now?

Ah, a couple of kids who got
framed on a rape and battery

charge in the Bronx.

Let me tell you something.

You defend somebody
really big, doesn't matter

whether you win or lose,
I'll get you $2 million

on the book deal.

And by the way, you don't
even have to write it.

Ha, I'm not in show
business, Sidney.

Most people in
your business don't

seem averse to a little
publicity, Vincent.

You should think
about "Court TV."

He doesn't want to
think about "Court TV."

This food is wonderful.

Did you get this food, George?

I could eat like this every day.

Sidney, give me
that herring or I'll

be hearing about it all night.
What do mean?

What is it?

What will you be
hearing all night?

Sally, go wash your hands.

But there's no
hot water after 8:00 PM.

Nina, where have you been?
Well, it's only 3:30.

Nina, where have you been? Well, it's only 3:30.
Well, it's only 3:30. Oh, that's interesting.

- Well, it's only 3:30.
- Oh, that's interesting.

So you haven't been
calling Constance either?

How do you survive without
her excellent advice?

Excuse me, Vincent.

She talks to me every day.

We're very close.

I swear, I'm hotter
than a goat in China.

I'm not feeling right.

Can we get some air in here?

All right.

Why are you hiding
from us, Nina?

Did you finally
break up with him?

I'm so proud of you.

Come on, nobody had
broken up with me.

Why don't you mind
your own business?

Sweetie, do you think
it's possible to get

food poisoning this fast?

Do you have any
air conditioning?

I will get the fan.

Hey, whoa. Wait a minute.

No you shouldn't be
lifting stuff like that.

Why not?

I'm fine.

Nothing is wrong with me.

George, what the
fuck is going on here?

Don't you dare speak that
way in front of my child.

Betty, I think it's
time we got home.

Betty was your other wife.

I'm Constance, remember?

Oh, Christ.

Are you sleeping with her?

Vince, I'm gay.

You are?

And it's a valid
and wonderful choice.

Sidney, shut up.

George, what is going on here?

Give it me, come on.

Come on.

Are you pregnant?

Oh my god, you're pregnant.

George!

George!

What's going on?

Who's the father?

I knew it, you son of a bitch.

I knew You.

Couldn't keep your
hand off of her.

Vince, Vince.

Calm down.

It's your baby.

I want New York
Hospital, Emergency Room.

It's... it's mine?

And mine.

What's happening up there?

I'm having a crisis.
I need to talk to somebody.

It's mine!

It's mine!

Hello?

No, not... no.

Not like a doctor.

A doctor.

I want a real big doctor.

George, is everything
all right there?

George!

George?

Will you get that?

I can't hear a god damn thing.
Are you hungry?

Can I get you something to eat.

No.

I need to speak to someone

in the gastrointestinal
department.

George, do me a favor.

What the hell is going on?

Everything's fine, Mrs. Sarni.

I thought someone
died and hit the floor.

I have to lie down.

Jesus.

Sweetie, give me the phone.

Oh, god!

Daddy, you never
should have ate that herring.

That's right.

If Daddy would listen to Mommy
and Sally, we're all in it

together.
Is that "The New Yorker?"

Fan me with "The New Yorker."

Hey, you're well out of this.

It sounds truly crazy.

And I haven't even
seen her recently,

because she's spending
all her time at Vince's

place, which is right.

I mean, you know,
that's definitely right.

But what does that say
about our friendship?

Maybe I didn't mean much to her.

George, you know,
you sound like you

talking about your ex-lover.

You know, why does everything
have to be about sex with you?

Y-you can get close to a woman
without sleeping with her.

Really?

That's... that's news to me.

I'm sure Vince isn't letting
her come anywhere near me.

Know shit, for your inforamtion.

I should have been more open.

And that could have
really been exciting.

Yeah, sure.

It could have been exciting.

Bottom line is, she
wanted to fuck you.

You... and that's insane.

Look, we're both cute.

And I know women.

They... they tell you that
they want to be your friend,

but they're really wanting
to fuck you.

Anyway, the point is, I'm
going to probably have

to move out, because
she'll be wanting

to get rid of the apartment.

So I was hoping I could crash at
your place for a couple weeks.

Yes.

Hey, hey.

Hey!

Hey.

Geo... you've not met my...
my new fiancee, Suni.

George... this is
my brother George.

George this is
Suni from surgery.

OK, you ready?

Yep.

You're going to go through
the... the pitching motion,

all right.

Real slow-mo.

Hey.

Where did it go?

Oh, there it goes.

Thanks.

OK, ready?

Stand up.

Stand up.

OK, now you're going
to hit a knee, right?

Yep.

That a boy, block
with your body.

And then take a
step... there you go.

Ready?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, stop right there.

Face me like you're
going to do the pitch.

Ready?

Slow-mo.

Nice.

Come right over the top with it.

Got it!

OK, right over top.

You did it great last
week in the game.

OK, try it again.

Now come right over
the top with it, right?

Remember?

That a boy!

At first, the iodine does not
affect the vitamin C solution.

But look what happens
if I add some more.

This process is
called titration.

Hey, Peter.

Have you seen my father?

Is there nothing that
little girl can't do?

Watch TV.

She's lousy at that.

Doug!

Hi, Sidney. How you doing?

George.

Yeah?

My Uncle Jonathan
says he knows you.

He does?

Well let's go, Nathan.

Hey, great job, Mary.

You did excellent.

Hey, George.

Hi.

Do recognise me in my
ear, nose, and throat gear?

Uh.

George!

George!
Are you free next weekend?

I know this great club.

You know, I got a little
out of control last time.

- Oh, I... I see a friend of mine.
- I know it was a little much.

It was great to see you.

But this place is a
converted meat market.

Thanks for coming.

It's incredible.

What are you doing here?

Oh!

I promised Sally I'd come.

It's so good to see you.

You too.

How you doing, Vince.

George.

We almost didn't make it.

You know, our first trimester
has got us a little queasy.

Yeah, Vince has become
an expert on pregnancy.

I'm loving it.

George, we miss you.

You should come visit us.

Vince, we are not
an official us.

There's still you,
and there's still me.

He's like glue.

Madame Reynolds was
asking for you last week.

Ugh!

I would love to go dancing.

As long as you don't
exhaust yourself.

George, what time is
the trophy presentation?

Uh, 20 minutes.

The trophy presentation?

George, what ever happened
to, it's not about winning,

it's about how
you play the game?

Oh, come on.

I don't think there
should be any trophies.

It's the parents who
want the trophies.

Well, it's running
this country.

The obsession with being
number one at any cost.

And it starts right here.

I totally hear you.

You know, I mean, I
try to teach these kids

a sense of community.

Oh, no, believe me.

You can't do that.

These parents are
natural born killers.

Oh, Vince.

That is such bullshit.

I don't know who is more
competitive than you.

Ha, ha.

Did I say there's anything wrong
with striving for excellence?

- Oh!
- Did I say that?

Jesus Christ.

No, you definitely didn't that.

Hey, at least
somebody here appreciates

what I'm trying to say.

What's your name?

I'm Melissa
Marx, George's go-teacher.

I'm going to lose it, George.

Just get me out of here, please.

Ooh!

Aah!

Oh!

You... you're right.

Oh.

I didn't ask him
to come, you know.

Y-y-you're absolutely right.

That's not... that's
not going to work.

Yeah.

You know, by the way, we're
both pregnant, you know?

At first we sick together.

Then we throw up together.

Then we get our fucking
sonograms together.

Nina, it's bad equation.

You, Vince and the baby?

Yeah.

Bad for all of you.

No shit, Sherlock.

You made me an offer
and I never refused.

What?

I spent all yesterday afternoon
watching this little kid

play catch with his father.

I always thought that I could
teach other people's children.

But... someone else, you
know, a real guy, like Vince

gets to take them home.

And then I thought, I don't
always have to be the one

whose watching them leave.

I don't always have to be the
one who waits for twilight

to pass.

I don't know.

For the first time, I thought
I could be the... the guy

who says goodnight.

What are you saying to me?

I'm saying, yeah.

Sorry to break this up,
but it's time to go home.

Um, I'm not going to
go home with you, Vince.

I'm going to go
back to Brooklyn.

Well, you... you can't go
back to Brooklyn tonight.

Uh, we got a doctor's
appointment in the morning.

No.

We don't have a
doctor's appointment.

I have a doctor's appointment.

Fine.

OK, you have an appointment.

You getting caught
up in nonsense, Nina.

Vince, this isn't working.

Could we talk about this later?

No.

No, we need to
talk about it now.

In front of him?

Yeah.

Vince, I have tried to
talk to you in private.

You don't listen to me.

George.

This is between me and Nina, OK?

You've done enough
to fuck us up.

It's time for you to get
the hell out of our lives.

No, no, Vince.
This is my school.

You don't get to
tell me what to do.

Nothing has been the
same between me and Nina

since you showed up.

Does that make you happy?

Is this what you do for kicks?

Vince, come on.

Just listen to me for...

You listen to me.

You... you don't see
this guy for who he is.

He's a trouble
making little shit.

Vince, I want to raise
my child with George.

Oh.

Oh.

You know... you know what?

I want to raise it with
the man in the moon.

For once, why don't
you just goddamn

listen to what she has to say?

Don't you fucking tell
me how to treat a woman.

Vince, just calm down
for one second, please.

No, I will not calm down!

You have some never,
you homo boys.

You screw up women's
personal lives,

but you can take any physical
responsibility for it.

Listen to me.

No.

When this kid comes to you and
asks you who its father is,

you tell it that its
father never wanted to lay

eyes on its mother ever again.

Head up, young person.

Would you like to
hear the heartbeat?

Can I?

Yeah, sure.

That's amazing.

Oh, come on.

George Hanson.

Steve Casillo?

Ha, ha, ha.

Wow!

You're not someone I'd
expect to see in here.

Uh, well, yeah.

Hey, uh, this is my
friend, Nina Borowski.

Yeah, I can see that.

Hi.

You, uh, no.

She's my friend.

Friend, it's... just
she's expecting.

Well, I can give you
a discount on this one.

Oh, uh, just browsing.

Yeah, with...

Feel free to look around.

Small world.

Wow.

Lemonade?

Nick will
be along with the First on Fox...

Thanks.

Forecast in a moment.

The Hanson Benefit
season was in...

Oh, my god.

Full
swing at super agent Sidney.

Miller's house this weekend.

Guests included Anne
Rice, King Hussein,

and General Colin Powell.

Hot fun in the summertime.

So how come we weren't invited?

I don't know.

Oh, thank god we
weren't invited.

George, who that man in
the crib store today?

Aw, just someone I, uh, had a
fling with before I met Joley.

You know, if you ever
wanted to invite him here,

that would be fine.

Mm-hmm.

I could sleep in your room.

What if I said,
that's a great idea.

He'll be right over?

I'd say, great.

I mean, this isn't a marriage.

You know, I don't want to
make you give up your life.

You're not.

Great.

Um, so are you
going to call him?

Actually, I'm leaving
with him for Paris tonight.

You are?

I just hate secrets, George.

What secrets?

I tell you everything.

Just promise me that
if anything in your life

changes that you'll tell me.

Nothing's going to change.

Look, I'm not going anywhere.

This isn't temporary.

Don't you miss men?

Yeah, sure.

Sometimes.

Dont' you?

I guess.

But I don't miss them
when I'm with you.

Mm.

Do think most married couples
are as happy as we are?

I hope so, because
we're pretty happy.

Hm.

I guess sex is just no big deal.

Not even with Lucy Jane?

Oh, I just adore you, Nina.

I really do.

I adore you, too.

Yeah?

George, hi.

It's Joley.

How are you?

And, uh, oh, god.

These things are so weird.

I guess.

Who is it?

Uh, my brother.

George, are you still there?

Yeah, uh, Nina says hello.

Oh.

I was so sure you'd be
with someone by now.

That's, um, that's really
why I haven't called.

Yeah, Nina's still here.

George, it's
so good to hear your voice.

Uh, I'm surprised
you'd even talk to me.

I behaved like an idiot.

Look, I've been asked
to address a critics

convention at your old college
the weekend after next.

And I've been thinking about
that time we drove up there.

That was our first Christmas
together, you remember?

And so you want me
to come with you?

That's very considerate of you.

I wouldn't be surprised if you
never wanted to lay eyes on me

again, but it would
really mean a lot

to me just to be with you.

I made a reservation at that
sweet little inn we stayed at.

Ah, well, I'll call
you if I can make it.

Think about all the time.

And, um, for what it's
worth, I really miss you.

Yep.

Thank you.

I'll talk to you soon.

Where does he want you to go?

Hm?

Oh, my college.

For a reunion?

Sort of.

Hey, uh, Nina that
was, uh, Joley.

So are you going to go?

I don't know.

That usually means yes.

I hate that you
know me so well.

Hi.

Hey.

You look great.

I love this.

I'll call you at Constance's
tomorrow morning, kiddo.

Promise?

I promise.

What time?

Early, I promise.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't
go to one of these conferences,

but they insisted
that I come, and, uh,

I guess it never hurts to stay
on the good side of reviewers.

Oh, my book!

Did I tell you my book is coming
out in paperback in England?

It's very impressive for
an American Shaw scholar

to do so well in Europe.

You OK, honey?

How did we get back so
quickly to the honey stage?

Maybe we never
should have left it.

So how's your student?

Back with his girlfriend.

He's, well, just
a screwed up kid.

So you want to be friends now?

Just so I know.

That is exactly
your problem, George.

What?

Your lack of self-worth.

No, you have no idea how
important you are to me.

Thank you.

So I've been
thinking about you a lot.

You're living with a woman
in a dump in Brooklyn.

And I'm lonely and...
and missing you.

We can do better than that.

Nina!

Hi.

You just missed Steven
Spielberg and Peter Jennings.

Oh, I bet they sent
their best regards.

Sweetie, don't
start the weekend like this.

I have enough to deal with.

What are you wearing?

I... hello, honey.

How are you?

Good!

Mwah!

Where's George?

George is with
this old boyfriend,

which is where he should be.

Oh, Constance!

He's not with his old boyfriend.

You told me he went
away with Dr. Joley.

It doesn't mean he's with him.

Sally, sit down and buckle up.

Sweetie, I want you
to relax this weekend.

Take walks, eat good food, let
Sidney and me take care of you.

And me.

And Sally.

Yes, I know.

We're going to
have a nice relaxing

dinner, just some old friends,
and Stephen Saint is coming.

And you'll never believe it.

He's just dying to see you.

You made quite an impression
on him at my party.

Hello.

Hello.

Dr. Robert Joley.

Ah, yes, Dr. Joley.

We have you down for three
nights and a king sized bed.

Twin beds.

I don't know that I
have a room with twins.

We'll take the king.

Uh, excuse me.

I have a room with twin beds.

I'd be happy to
exchange with you.

Are you sure, Mrs. Skinner?

Surely.

Thank you, Mrs. Skinner.

No sense in you two boys
being on top of each other.

Right at the
head of the stairs.

Thank you.

Um, I thought we were supposed
to get the discount rate.

Oh, that is the
discount rate, doctor.

Right through the,
uh, dining room.

Dr. Joley, I presume.

Well, Rodney Fraser.

You're one of the reasons
I agreed to come here.

Oh, thank you.

I see you've lost
none of your charm.

Oh, by the way, congratulations
on George Bernard Shaw.

Thank you.

That's always such
a... such a treat

to read an American
perspective on the subject.

Hm.

Oh, this is Paul James.

Dr. Robert Joley.

Don't think I've
met your friend.

Oh, George Hanson.

George Hanson, how do you do.

Paul James.

You in the theatre?

No, he's a graduate
of our host college.

Really?

The return of the native.

Hm.

Well, I'll look
forward to seeing

you both around the campus, hm?

- Bye.
- Bye, bye.

See you.

I wonder if Mrs. Rodney
charges by the hour?

Let me tell you something.

When my first wife left me,
she wanted to take my clients.

I know.

I mean, I understand the
house, the car, and all that.

But my clients!

She wanted my clients.

You know, uh,
since we last met,

I've done some heavy therapy
and, uh, taken up yoga.

And I quit advertising.

Hm.

So I know this
might seem premature,

but, um, I'm ready to be
the father of your child.

Night.

Good night.

And our thanks
to Miss Gutierrez

for an extremely
interesting question,

and a spirited response
from the panel.

And now we move on to,
um, oh, another question

from Miss Gutierrez.

Oh, yes.

How do you feel
about great works

of literature being transformed
into musical comedy?

Well, that sounds like one
for our academic colleague.

Professor.

Well, um, I should begin
by saying that I think

that "My Fair Lady" is
a complete distortion

of Shaw's "Pygmalion,"
as is "West Side.

Story" of "Romeo and Juliet."

But then, I hate all musicals.

I, um, believe they're,
uh, middle brow, populist,

and, um, frankly, dangerous.

So it's a clean
sweep from Dr. Joley.

I have seen performance
art in cross-gender clubs

in Berlin that has far more
theatrical impact than anything

I have ever seen on Broadway.

Well, do you mean,
um, women dipped in chocolate?

That sort of thing?

I'm talking about
serious artists here.

I have never recovered
from the Ulrika Schinkel's

brilliant production
of Beethoven

in Ketten, that's
Beethoven in Bondage, set

amongst to the ruins
of the Riechstag.

And, uh, something that may be
of particular interest to you,

Rodney, is that the
theatres in Germany

are filled with young people.

Nina!

Mommy says we're all taking
a picnic at the beach.

Oh, honey, I'm waiting
for a phone call.

Oh!

Mommy, Nina's waiting
for a phone call.

Sally, go get your father.

Go.

I'll come there
later, I promise.

Jesus Christ.

Every time I look at
you, you're moping.

You know, you're a guest here.

You could try to make an effort.

I have made an effort.

Stephen loved me.

I hope you realise
he's currently

in bed with his old boyfriend.

Who, Stephen?

The man whose call
you're waiting for.

You know, I enjoy gay people.

I just have a slight problem
with my pregnant sister

being in love with one of them.

I am not in love with him.

Honestly, even when I was
desperate to marry Sidney,

I never carried on like you do.

And Sidney is straight.

But you have really done it.

This is an even crazier
choice than Vincent.

You're not even fucking him.

Can I ask you something?

When was the last time
you and Sidney had sex?

That is not the point.

Exactly!

Doesn't it all turn
into friendship anyway?

Yes, but normal people
start out someplace you

and the nursery school teacher
are never going to get.

You know, you should
take a look at yourself.

You're supposed to
be a psychiatrist.

I am a social
worker, Constance!

Oh!

Will you just let me
live my god damn life?

Read my lips.

George is g-a-y, gay.

That means he never
sleeps with women.

He has slept with a woman.

What?

Lucy Jane Parnell.

Oh, please.

Don't tell me, in high school?

They all try women
once in high school.

But you're nutty
enough to believe

that based on that
experience you

can bring him to his senses.

Nina, a gay nursery
school teacher

is a one-way ticket to nowhere.

I would love to
go to a place like this.

Read, sleep, have
great talks, sex.

Well, uh, we didn't, uh,
actually have much of that.

We did talk about it a lot.

Well, did you act at all?

Me?

No, not really.

You an actor?

Well, trying to be.

That's how I met Rodney.

I sat in on his
World Theatre class.

Oh, What's his
take on world theatre?

Well, Rodney is very picky.

He likes "Damn Yankees"
and Shakespeare.

But just to read.

He's never seen a production
up to his standards.

Don't you get flak
from your actor friends

being with a critic?

Well, I've never been
with him, with him.

It's just that he came up
to me one day after class,

and he's been sort of like
my mentor and my family

ever since.

Oh, uh, I thought maybe
you lived together.

I'm sorry.

Oh, we do live together.

He offered me a spare
room so I could save

my money for acting lessons.

Well, I've always
had terrible judgement.

My entire freshman year,
I had a crush on a guy

named Trotter Bull III.

He looked just like
one of those rowers.

Looks like pretty
good judgement to me.

Except he had a girlfriend.

I actually got up the
courage to talk to him

one night about Walt Whitman.

He probably became
an investment banker,

had four kids,
all named Trotter,

and, uh, never talked
about poetry again.

I'll talk to you about poetry.

Sure, anything.

How about a swim?

Whoo!

Wait for me.

Ha!

Ha, ha, ha.

I've got it.

It's for me.

Sorry.

Hello.

Good
morning, Is Mrs. Miller in?

No, she's at the beach.

Uh, this is Martha Stewart.

Uh-huh.

It's Martha
Stewart for Mrs. Miller.

Yes.

Is it "the" Martha Stewart?

Yes.

Hello?

Oh, will you hold on, please?

Yes.

Miss Stewart, I'm having a
big problem with my azaleas.

Oh, I know.

That's been such a problem.

Uh-huh.

Will I see you again?

I hope so.

When do I call you?

Oh, fuck.

My roommate!

I was supposed to
call her this morning.

Shit!

Your roommate?

Yeah, we live together.

We don't live live together.

We just live together.

Shit!

She's in her bedroom.

I'll call her.

She's in bed, apparently.

Hi, George.

Hey, kiddo.

Why are you in bed?

Are you sick?

I'm pregnant, George.

Or have you been so busy with
Dr. Joley that you forgot?

Nothing's happened
with Dr. Joley.

I've hardly seen him.

So then let's go home.

What do you mean?

There's a bus at 7 o'clock.

Tonight?

Sure, why not?

I don't want you
travelling alone so late.

But how about I borrow
my brother's car

and pick you up
tomorrow afternoon?

George, please.

Please, this is...
I'm so miserable.

Please.

Th... you could... you
could be on a train, too.

And we could both be in
our beds by midnight.

Nina, uh...

Please, you have to rescue me.

I have got to get
away from here.

And there's nothing for
you to stay there for.

Anybody who bolts from
the Hamptons is OK with me.

I hate it here.

It's so pretentious.

If I wasn't happily
married and you

weren't my wife's stepsister,
I'd have an affair with you

in a second.

I think you're terrific.

Aw.

Want some money?

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

How about some Chuckles?

Hm?

No.

Good.

I got the Galleys for the new
Michael Creighton in the car.

Oh, no.

Really, thanks, Sidney.

Oh, gosh.

I'd have left it.

I got it.

No, he didn't.

But I thought he did.

No, that looks good.

Hi.

Hi, pet.

Hi, Melissa.

Hi.

So how are you, huh?

Oh, shit!

Hey, let me help you with that.

No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Got it.

I'm fine.

Thank you.

Vince, honey?

Watch your step.

Melissa, hang on a minute.

I'm just going to say goodbye.

Vince, I'm really tired.

I don't feel like...

No, it'll just be a minute.

Hey, can I put you in a taxi?

No, Vince, I'm fine, really.

Thanks.

Now, Nita, come
on, you're pregnant.

Vince, please,
I'm fine, really.

Give my love to George.

Oh, sure.

I certainly will.

Hey!

Uh... oh, excuse me!

Excuse me.

Oh, you're going to
be so glad you met me.

My purse was just
stolen and I'm pregnant

and I have no way home.

Are you hurt?

No, I'm fine.

You sure?

Yeah, it's just my
purse was stolen.

OK, well, let's go.

All right.

I got it.

Oh, thank god.

So we'll go report all this.

Thank you.

And then I'm getting off duty,
so I'll give you a lift home.

Great.

Thanks.

I mean, I'm surprised
he didn't arrest me.

I get mugged and the god
damn desk sergeant blames me.

He's the only one like that.

The rest of us are
very sensitive.

Lady, you asked for it.

I mean, I thought
people like that

were banned from the
police force, you know?

I mean, it's none of
his god damn business

where the fuck my husband is.

You know, I mean, you
don't seem to care.

Me?

I used to give women
lots of opinions.

But now I go with the flow.

Are you gay?

I'm sorry?

I have this new
theory that any man

doesn't hit you over the head
with his opinions must be gay.

Well, that makes as
much sense as Freud.

Oh, well, it makes a hell of
a lot more sense than Freud.

Freud doesn't know
dick about women.

I can't believe
I just said that.

Very nice of you
to drive me home.

Oh, not a problem.

If I were married, I'd want
someone to drive my wife home.

Will your husband be there?

I don't have a husband.

No?

The father?

Oh, no, no.

He will definitely not be there.

I hardly speak to him.

Well, you don't find anyone
new till your brave enough

to give up the old.

I don't really want
to find anyone new.

Oh, that's good.

Happy with the status quo.

Yeah.

Me, too.

But you're so nice.

You should be married.

You think all nice
people are married?

What kind of counsellor are you?

Great, you can stop
right over there.

Oh, thank you so much.

Oh.

You're really kind.

Oh.

George!

Oh, my gosh!

You're back already?

Hi!

Oh!

Did you get a ride home?

No, my purse got
stolen at the bus station.

What?

And Vince and Melissa
were on the bus.

And Sidney told me that he
would have an affair with me.

I mean, it's just been
the weekend from hell.

Come on, I'll
make you some tea.

Hi, sweetie.

George, terrific news
about you and Dr. Joley.

Sidney and I adore him.

He's so smart.

Good for you.

Thanks.

Bye, George.

Hey!

Hey, Nina, you find out
who the father is yet?

I call the shots, Keesha.

Yeah!

So what's for supper, Nina?

Pot roast.

Mm.

It's George's favourite.

Is he back yet?

I don't know?

Paul?

Oh, jeez!

He's supposed to
be at the theatre.

Paul?

I fled at half time.

A lot of pumped up men
taking their clothes off.

It's all getting
dreadfully boring.

I'm going to see "King Lear"
tomorrow night, god help me.

I fully expect him to step on
stage, say he's old, he's hot,

and strip down to his underwear.

Oh, uh, would you
like a glass of vino?

And, uh, tell
whoever it is you've

got in there he's left
his knapsack on the sofa.

Ah, it's the graduate.

Do, please, come sit down.

Uh, Paul and I are
currently meandering

through some of the better
Australian Chardonnays.

Can I tempt you?

Oh, no thank you.

Oh.

Paul?

So, how's our distinguished
Shavian scholar, Dr. Joley.

Well, I haven't seen him
since the Critics Convention.

Actually, George
lives with a woman.

Really?

How Bloomsbury.

Ha, ha.

Yeah, uh, Nina is
my best friend.

Well, as you probably
know, Paul and I

visit the theater quite often.

Perhaps you and your
best friend would

care to join us one evening.

That's very kind of you.

But, um, well, I'm not... I'm
not sure she likes the theatre.

Oh, well, she's
absolutely right.

There's nothing to see.

Hm, hm.

Well, perhaps we could go and
have a meal together some time.

We'd like to see more of
you, in any event, you know?

Well, I... I hope so.

You know, I'm sorry,
I really, uh...

Go, really.

Don't forget your little bag.

- Well, it was nice seeing you.
- Yes, indeed.

Good night.

Good night.

I'll be right back.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Thank you returning my call.

Nina, you were probably
right, you know?

You and I as a couple were
a pretty miserable match.

But I still love you.

That's... that's my problem.

I can... I can deal with that.

Nina, whatever way that
you're planning on doing this,

for once in my life, I'm...
I'm not going to tell you how.

I would just like to
think that I could somehow

be a part of the picture.

Vince, you're the daddy.

It's all right.

I'll trust you.

Oh, hi!

Hi!

How are you?

Louis.

Yes.

This is Vince.

Uh, hi, Louis Crowley.

He, Vince McBride, hi.

Hi, uh, this is my nephew
Joe, and my niece Sophie.

Yeah, Vince is the
father of my, uh...

Baby.

I'm the father of the baby.

Oh, I see.

And, uh, how's, uh...

George, my roommate.

He's fine.

He's home.

Oh.

Hey, great.

Go with the flow.

That's right.

The workings
of her mind appeal to him.

She leaves her warm bed in
the cold dawn to rush there,

full of zeal and loyalty.

Why would she do that?

Coming up,
Kurt will have sports.

Stay with us.

Yes, we'd like

to change the address on the
checking account, please.

Hi.

Hey.

Sorry.

Don't worry about it.

Hi, sorry I'm late.

Yeah, god, I'm sorry.

Did, uh, Nina tell you I was
visiting some college friends

and drank too much?

Well, why didn't
you bring them?

What?

Mm.

I mean, what a shame to
break up such a great party,

you know?

I mean, actually, I'd like to
meet your friends some day.

So how late did you stay up?

Late.

So late there wasn't a
cab left in Manhattan, huh?

Well, you know, we
all wrecked to go home.

Whew, yeah!

My big brother is
a party animal.

Coffee?

Oh, yeah, please.

Do you want to
hear the specials?

You know what?

I'll just have the orange
juice and eggs Florentine.

So Caroline, is the
wedding still on?

I haven't heard
otherwise, but I'm waiting.

Well, we're really
looking forward to it.

Yeah, if you can make it.

He's been really busy this fall
with, uh, faculty meetings.

Yeah, I'm trying to get things
in order before the baby comes.

Working out a new curriculum.

Jesus, I never thought
I'd hear my big brother

talk about babies coming.

And before me.

That's what really
pisses me off.

You got there before me.

Now I think what you guys are
doing is fantastic, really.

Here's my question, though.

What about the father?

This guy must be the most
interesting guy in the world,

or the most tolerant.

Actually, he's dating
George's colleague, Melissa.

So that takes a shit
load of tolerance.

No, honey.

They're not dating anymore.

They broke up.

Wait a minute, who is this?

Melissa?

Is she cute?

Frank.

Hey, I'm just trying to keep
my options open, all right?

Oh, Frank, your horrible.

George, aren't we
all just horrible?

Aren't men just such jerks?

Now, I think that
Nina and George

have a great relationship.

Yeah, when we see each other
we have a great relationship.

Hey, George, um, when they
start complaining about not

seeing you enough, you
have to buy them a diamond,

or take them to the theatre.

Hey, maybe we could all
go see a friend of mine

who's in a play next weekend.

Well, I'm on call next weekend.

And Frank certainly
isn't going without me.

Oh, come on.

No, no.

So does that mean I get a date
alone with you this weekend?

Or will I get another
call Saturday afternoon?

Saints do not move,
they grant for prayers' sake.

Then move not while my
prayer's effect I take.

Thus from my lips by
thine, my sin is purged.

Then have my lips, the
sin that they have took.

Sin from thy lips?

O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again.

You kiss by the book.

Ha, here we are.

Soda, my dear.

Thanks.

Well, cheers, cheers.

Cheers.

It's so nice to meet you.

George talks about
you all the time.

Fantastic, man.

Oh!

You were fantastic.

Hey!

Oh, and, uh, this is Nina.

Hi. You were great.

Hey, it's great to meet you.

George talks about
you all the time.

Hey, George!

George!

Hey, how are you?

Oh, I want you to meet somebody.

Uh, I don't know if you
remember me from college?

Oh, my god!

Yeah!

We talked all night about
what women... Trotter Bull.

Paul!

Paul!

Paul!

Th... ha, ha, this
is Trotter Bull.

Oh, my god!

I've heard so much about you.

George talks about
you all the time.

Is that right?

Well, you were
wonderful in the play.

You were wonderful in the play.

And he looked so hot.

Wasn't he great?

George, it was so
nice seeing you again.

Let me give you my
card if you ever

need a stockbroker some time.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

Great seeing you, Trotter.

Oh, look, Trotter.

We got that, you
know, 10:00 thing.

- Nice to meet you.
- Way to go, Jonathan.

I wish he'd been our
Mercutio instead of who we got.

Rodney, please.

And he was right,
you were awful good.

But you know, people only
do modern dress Shakespeare.

But there's absolutely no
instinct for any other periods

or languages than their own.

Clearly, the no-talent
who directed this

hoped to transform the
world's greatest love story

into a Calvin Klein commercial.

The man should be shot.

Mr. Fraser.

Yes.

I'm the director.

Ah.

Hey, come on.

Let me help you.

Thank you.

Good night.

Yes, good night.

Listen, Paul, uh,
George and I were

wondering what you and Rodney
were doing for Thanksgiving?

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, we...

No, no, no, no.

We'd love to come.

How kind of you.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wonderful.

OK, so 1:00.

We'll be there.

Good night.

You're an extraordinary person.

They seem like a lovely couple.

Hey, you!

I don't care what you
say, I love Les Mis.

And I think Andrew Lloyd
Webber was a genius!

Hello.

Hi.

Oh, hello.

How lovely to see you again.

Happy Thanksgiving.
We're just through here.

George.

Hey, hi.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

So do you need any help?

No, everything
is absolutely fine.

Oh, what a relief, because
contrary to stereotype,

I'm an awful cook.

Oh, no.

Well, please, please just
make yourselves comfortable.

Or, uh, George, you could take
them for a walk, you know,

while I get ready.

Well, um, why don't you two
children go and play somewhere.

And, uh, I'll stay here
and keep Nina company, eh?

You should tell her, George.

You don't want to hurt Rodney,
I don't want to hurt Nina.

I don't want to exclude Rodney.

That's different.

Are you trying to
tell me something?

Because we could stop.

No.

I... ju... this isn't easy.

I promised.

I promised her I'd
help her with the baby.

That's great.

Help her.

You be the uncle.

You be the godfather.

Oh, you don't... no,
you don't understand.

I'm more excited about this baby
than anything ever in my life.

More than me?

Oh, jeez, Paul.

Don't make it that way.

I'm not making it that way.

You are.

I love you very much.

You know, I think we're
both behaving rather

well, under the circumstances.

After all, it's not
always easy being

alone in the bedroom next door.

Next door to George and Paul?

You knew that.

Well, of course.

Of course I knew that.

I think Paul is great.

I think he's just great.

Well, we're all great.

You must think I'm
pretty peculiar.

I have opinions
about Shakespeare.

About other people's lifestyles,
I have absolutely no opinions,

whatsoever.

And I don't think one should
be too hard on one's self.

If the object one's
affection returns

the favour with
rather less enthusiasm

than one might have hoped.

But a small
observation, if I may,

from someone old enough
to be your grandfather.

Oh, you're not that much older.

Have you noticed that
you're the only woman coming

to your Thanksgiving dinner?

Yes.

And all my female friends,
they're either busy,

or they have families.

No don't get defensive.

Have you also
noticed that you're

the only practicing
heterosexual coming

to your Thanksgiving dinner?

Well, I, uh, I haven't
practised in a while.

I'm serious.

What happens when all the men
at your Thanksgiving dinner

find other men?

Whose at your table then?

Don't fix your life so that
you're left alone right when

you come to the middle of it.

Lord, for the erring thought,
not into evil wrought.

Lord, for the wicked
will, betrayed and baffled

still, for the heart from itself
kept, our Thanksgiving accept.

Hm.

To Nina and George, our
wonderful new friends.

To Nina and George.

To friendship.

Yes, to friendship.

Well, Paul, I think you and
I ought to be getting going.

Well, actually,
I think I'm going

to hang out here for awhile.

Ah, well.

That OK, Rod?

When would you be
getting... all right.

Well, thank you for
including me in your holiday.

Thank you for coming.

Good night.

Paul.

Happy Thanksgiving.

George.

Good night.

Uh, could I walk
you out to the...

No, no.

I'm fine.

Thanks.

You're sure?

Let me get that.

Sorry, thanks.

Bye.

Good night.

Night, Rod.

Uh, well, let's... let's get
cracking on these dishes.

That's all right, I've got it.

I've got it, thank you.

You sure?

Yes, definitely.

Good night.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, for absolutely
the best holiday.

Hm.

I love you.

It was a wonderful
dinner, Nina.

Thank you.

Nina, it's 3
o'clock in the morning.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?

No.

Paul wanted some ice cream.

Oh, that's so sweet.

You guys have so much in common.

Paul thinks, uh,
you don't like him.

I don't know him.

You seemed to like Rodney.

Well, Rodney is a decent
and intelligent man,

who is very hurt and insecure.

We're all very
hurt and insecure.

Who do you know that isn't?

Paul.

Paul seems to be a
totally happy guy.

You don't like him.

Oh, what the hell
difference does it make

if I like Paul or not, George?

You like Paul, and
that's what's important.

And that's great.

I mean that's just great.

I've just finished my work.

Nina, I slept for
months in this apartment

with you and Vince right there.

That is different!

How is that different?

Because you don't tell
a woman that you love her

and then two days later bring
Romeo home to sleep with you.

You invited him.

Yes, for dinner.

And I invited Rodney, too.

I thought they were a couple.

Oh, come on, you
didn't think that.

Well, you didn't
tell me otherwise.

Ugh!

Nina, look at me.

Nina, look at... Nina!

Look at me!

What?

I thought we were going
to make up new rules.

Yeah, well, they have
to work for both of us.

So what you saying?

You can have a man in
your bed, but I can't?

Oh, god!

No, no!

You can't.

You cannot have me and
Paul and this baby.

Why?

Because you deserve to
have it all and I don't?

Oh!

It's not about having it all.

It is about picking one
person and making it work.

And when you are fucking
a man in the next room,

it makes it pretty clear
the person you don't

want to make it work with me.

And that's... that's bullshit.

Oh, fuck off, George!

You forgot Paul's ice cream!

Caroline, let's face it.

My little brother is cute.

And if you can deal with
the 20 women waiting

outside with pistols,
I think this union

will succeed brilliantly.

My friend, Nina, the
wisest person I know

said to me yesterday, you
have to pick one person

and make it work.

Frank, I think you picked
absolutely the right person.

Aw, that's so sweet.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To the doctors, Frank and
Caroline Colucci-Hanson.

Here, here!

Your husband is adorable.

I can't imagine my husband
still calling me his friend.

Life was a song,
you came along, I've laid

awake the whole night through.

If I ever dared to
think you cared,

this is what I'd say to you.

You were meant for me.

I was meant for you.

Nature patterned you
and when she was done,

you were all the sweet
things rolled up in one.

You're like a plaintive melody
that never lets me free.

For I'm content.

The angels must have sent you.

And they meant you just for me.

Very nicely done.

George, I got to
get out of here.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm OK.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I just had
to get out of there.

Oh, I know.

Weddings can be a little much.

But it works.

What do you mean?

I was watching Frank
and Caroline today.

And I just kept
thinking, this is real.

And George and I are not.

We're just different.

But I don't think that
I am that different.

I want you to be with me.

I want you to marry me.

I want you to love me
the way that I love you.

I don't really want a
see who you are, at all.

I think you see me.

Well, then tell me the truth.

What do you want?

I want Paul.

I don't want to be
able to look at you

and not feel so hurt by you.

I'm so sorry.

The last person in the world
I'd want to hurt is you.

I know that.

I know.

Can't choose who you love.

I think Paul was the best
thing that ever happened to us,

you know?

At least he got us
to tell the truth.

But, hon, I don't
want to lose you.

I can't let things
stay the same.

Thank you.

Take care, man.

Congratulations, buddy.

Way to go.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

I got here as fast as I could.

No, it's OK.

George was with
me the whole time.

Good.

This is Molly.

Oh, hello, Molly.

I'm you're dad.

Yeah.

Shh, shh, shh.

Molly, Molly.

Hush, hush, hush.

It's OK.

I got her.

It's OK.

It's OK.

I got her.

Look for the Union labels,

when you are buying a
cook dress or blouse.

Remember somewhere...

Which one of you is the father?

The Union sewing.

Vince McBride is the father.

Can you come with me?

We have some paperwork for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Here.

Hey, you be nice to
your mother, honey.

Here we go.

There she is.

Hi.

I wonder if Madame Reynolds
has ballroom dancing for babies?

Are you kidding?

Come here, Molly.

Let's show Mommy
your dancing legs.

You were meant for me.

And I was meant for you.

George, when were you
planning on moving out?

I don't know.

I think you should
before I get home.

Well, are... are... are you sure?

I can stay until you
and Molly get settled.

No, I don't want you there.

We'll be fine.

It's time for Molly and me
to get on with our lives.

I'll speak to Paul.

Thank you.

You're a very lucky
girl, Molly McBride Borowski.

You have the world,
the best mum.

Bye, Nina.

Bye, George.

Head up, young person.

Hi.

Hi, Molly.

I love you.

Hello, I'm George Hanson,
Principle of the Prospect.

Park Cooperative School.

We want to welcome you to
our annual Music Celebration!

And now on with the show!

Listen as your
day unfolds challenge

what your future holds.

Try to keep your
head up to the sky.

People they may cause you tears.

Go ahead, release your fears.

Stand up and be counted,
don't be ashamed to cry.

You got to be, you got to
be bad, you got to be...

Go, Molly!

You gotta be
hard, you gotta be tough,

you gotta be stronger.

You gotta cool, you gotta be
calm, you gotta stay together.

All I know, all I know,
love will save the day.

Herald what your mother
said, reading the books

your father read,
try to solve the...

Come on, Molly!

Go, Molly!

Some may
have more cash than you.

Others take a different
view, my, oh my, hey, hey.

You go girl!

You go, honey!

Yeah!

Yeah!

I got to go.
I have an audition.

Well, what time you
going to be home?

Right after yoga.

Look, are you sure
you don't mind?

You had me over last Saturday.

Oh, hey, Rodney,
you're family, man.

Yeah.

Constance, why can't
I get a ring in my nose?

Sally, get straight inside.

This is a very
bad neighbourhood.

This is a fucking
great neighbourhood.

And my name is not
Constance, it's mother.

What is this with the
fucking all of a sudden?

Nina, don't forget
dinner Thursday.

Umberto Eco and Sharon
Stone are coming.

Oh, goody.

I got a bidding war going
for Sharon's memoirs.

She's great.

You'd love her.
Goodbye, Louis.

Good to see you again.

Nina, just a second.

There's someone who's
coming I want you to meet.

So...

Why?

I am with Louis.

Sweetie, you've
made your point.

It's time to move on.

Get your hair cut.

Sidney.

Sidney.

What?

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great.

Molly, you were great!

Perfect!

I'm coming, I'm coming.

You were just ter...
I love that hat.

Can I give you a ride?

No.

I'm not going to
use taxpayer dollars

to fund my personal
transportation, Louis.

Uh, I'll take the
subway, thank you.

Oh, well, suit yourself, Vince.

I will see you at home.

Bye, Molly.

Great job.

Bye, Louis.

Bye, bye.

Bye, Louis.

Nina, I am the only man in your
life who ever made any sense.

You know that, right?

I do know that.

Mm, OK.

Bye bye, sweetheart.

Bye, Daddy.

I love you.

George, great show.

Love your work.

Oh, hey, do you
guys want to come

over for dinner Saturday night?

Rodney's coming.

Yeah, that sounds great.

I'll ask Paul.

Uncle George, I had more
people come see me than anyone.

I had Mommy and Daddy
and Louis and Uncle.

Roddy and Uncle Sidney and...

Honey, you are just the
luckiest little girl.

Yeah, and if you ever need any
advise ask Auntie Constance.

She knows everything.

Oh, stop it.

Hey, do you want to
grab some coffee?

Yeah.

You guys always go for coffee.

All you do is talk.

Well, excuse me,
but we like talking.

Yeah.

You know, Nina, did you ever
just want to touch her nose?

It's just like a little tulip.

Don't you dare start with her.

It looks nothing like a tulip.

Come on.

Mommy, I can do George's show.

You can?

Really?

Yep.

Welcome to the Prospect
Park Cooperative School.