All language subtitles for The Nanny S03E08

Maxwell, I cannot tell you
how excited I am

about our little weekend
getaway to Boston.

It's a business trip, C.C.

Of course I know that.

Work, work, work. In fact,
right
now I'm off to get a wax.

I mean...

fax.

Don't worry, sir. You'll be
right near Salem.

They know how to take care
of her kind there.

Niles, you don't think C.C.
wants to go to Boston

to, you know...

Shout, "The British
are coming?"

Oh, no, sir.

No. As a matter of fact,
just before you came in,

she was saying what a shame
it is

the children can't go
with you.

Oh, really?
Mm.

Well, I suppose it would be
educational for them.

Oh, but the hotel only has
two rooms.

Do you think she would mind
sharing with the girls?

Mind?

How many times have we
heard her say,

"I don't care who
I sleep with"?

I'm never gonna meet
anybody.

I'm never gonna fulfill my
dream
of buying double burial plots.

That's your dream, Val?
Mmm-hmm.

That's my dream, too.
[GASPS]

No wonder we're
best friends.

Fran?
Yeah?

You think we're being
too particular?

I mean, maybe...

maybe we should lower
our standards.

Lower our standards?

Val, we're already
down to mammal.

All I want is a nice, cute
guy
with a couple of bucks.

What?

Have you ever seen
Harold and Maude?

Oh, forget it. Once you've
seen
a guy in his Batman pajamas,

there's just no mystery left.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffields' door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

Oh, Fran, what are we
gonna do?

I'll tell you what
we're gonna do.

We're gonna have our own
singles party.

We'll charge 20 bucks
a head.

With all the losers we know,
we'll make a fortune.

You know, I've got just the
perfect place to do it,

the back room of Benny's
Clam Bar.

It's so dark and depressing
there.

Val, how old do I look?

I don't know. I can't
really tell.

Book it, Val.

Daddy, forget it.

Do you know how hard those
concert tickets were to get?

There's no way I'm missing
Nine Inch Nails.

Nine-inch nails? Barbra's
on tour again?

No, Miss Fine.

Margaret would prefer to go
to a concert with her friends

than spend the weekend in Boston
with her own family.

Oh, well, who wouldn't...

want to go to Boston?

Dad, I'm 16 years old.

I can stay home and
take care of myself.

Niles will be here to make me
stuff, right?

Sweetie, the reason
why your father

doesn't want you
to stay home alone

is because it makes him
feel old.

What?

I mean, you know, you're turning
into a responsible young woman,

and that makes him feel
unneeded and useless.

That, the gray patch
in his hair,

waking up stiff in
the morning... Don't ask.

I've never felt better,

and I'm certainly not afraid
of growing old.

Margaret, the house is yours
for the weekend.

Oh, thank you, Dad. Fran,
you're a goddess.

For your information,
Miss Fine,

when I awaken in the mornings,
nothing is stiff.

I rest my case.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MARGARET: Oh, wow! Look how
many
guys RSVP'd for your party.

This one sounds perfect for you.
Oh?

Oh, no, wait. He says he's
looking for a Catholic girl.

Great. He's Jewish.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Niles, would you keep an eye
on my bags?

All right.

Just tell me
when to stop.

Now.

Sorry.

So am I.

[GASPS]

Can this day get
any better?

Oh, I guess it can.

I'll be spending the entire
weekend alone

with Maxwell in Boston.

[IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING]
I'm sorry.

But we have some lovely
consolation prizes for you.

I am not sitting next
to Gracie on the plane.

She always vomits.

All right. She can sit
next to Miss Babcock.

Maxwell,

you're bringing the children
on the trip?

Yes, C.C. It was very sweet
of you to think of them.

Niles told me it was
all your idea.

Don't thank me.

Don't worry. I won't throw up
as
long as I don't eat anything.

Well, in case you get
peckish,
I packed you a sandwich.

Egg salad.

It'll go lovely
with your blazer.

Now remember, I'm trusting you
to behave yourself.

No wild parties.

All right, Dad. Goodbye.
Bye.

I'll miss you. I love you.

I love you too.

You know, this is
the first...

Oh, this is so cool.

I get the whole house
to myself.

Do whatever I want,
whenever I want.

Oh, Fran, now I know
why you stay single.

Yeah, that's it.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Okay. All right.

Oh, Fran, I got
horrible news.

Oh, my hair guy couldn't
take you this morning?

Yes, he did.
Isn't he fabulous?

Fran, you are not gonna
believe this.

Benny's Clam Bar burnt down.

[GASPS] How?

A fire!

Oh, my God.
Oh, now wait a minute.
Don't panic. Don't panic.

All we have to do
is find a place

that's really classy
and free tonight

that'll hold 100 guys
and seven women.

Oh, oh, oh.
No, no, no, no.

Mr. Sheffield said that we
cannot have parties here.

We're never gonna meet
anybody.

We're just gonna die alone.

Fran, actually Dad said

that I couldn't have any
parties tonight.

SINGER:♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪

♪♪ Hallelujah ♪♪

♪♪ It's Raining Men ♪♪

♪♪ Amen ♪♪

Well, in my spare time

I like to do a little hunting.

Oh, well, maybe next time
you go

you could bag me
a chocolate mousse.

Mooses aren't chocolate.

Oh, I know. I was saying, you
know, chocolate "mousse".

It's a j--
have you met my friend Val?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, I love the way you move.

And I love the way you look.

Those heels are so sexy.

Oh, thank you.

Mind if I try them on?

Have you met my friend Val?

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

[FRENCH ACCENT] You know,
you might not believe this,

but this hair, it's all
from a can.

Really?

Gee, it looks so natural.

Have you met my friend Val?

Val.

Mm, I love your hair.

And you hate to hunt.
Mm.

What do you think
of my shoes?

Well, they look great
on you.

Dip me.

Don't wait up.

You know, Fran,
you're pretty sharp
to throw a party like this.

Meet great people, you make
a few bucks.

Hey, a few bucks, please.

I may quit my career
as a... supermodel.

Well, I think it's amazing
that you show a profit,

especially after all
those business licenses
you have to buy.

What business? It's a party.

Ah, Fran...

Oh, Jeff.

I don't know how to tell you
this, but I'm a police
officer.

And you're under arrest.

That was a pistol?

Uh-oh.

Somebody's gonna have a hell of
a mess to clean up.

Damn, it's me.

Well, thanks for taking
me home

and for letting me play
with your siren.

My pleasure. Oh, can I
have my handcuffs?

Thank you.

Handcuffs, Miss Fine?

He was a cop. I got
arrested last night.

Really?

I was a pirate.

I had to walk the plank.

I'm serious. It was horrible.

I spent the night in jail.

Of course, I did meet a lovely
girl named Sparkle Plenty.

She charges 20 bucks to come
to her party, too.

Well, why didn't you call?

Well, I did.

I guess somebody was too busy
shivering his timber.

Oh, my God.

I spend the night over at
Whitney's house,

and you guys completely
trash the place?

I missed everything.

Oh, help me to clean up before
my father gets home.

I mean, your father.

Oh, thank God he's not coming
back until tomorrow.

Could you imagine
the look on his face
if he got a load of this...

[SCREAMING] Oh, oh, oh.
We've been robbed.

Can you imagine what kind of
animal would do something...

Save it, Miss Fine.

Grace got sick, so we took
an earlier flight.

Niles, could you do something
with Miss Babcock's blazer?

Certainly, sir.

I specifically said
no parties.

Mr. Sheffield,
let me explain.

I am very disappointed
in you, Margaret.

[BOTH] Margaret?

Oh, no, Mr. Sheffield.
This was my party.

Oh, nice try, Miss Fine.

But even the woman
who put a bumper sticker

on my limo reading
"Honk if you're a hunk"

wouldn't be stupid enough to
throw a party in my absence.

Hey, hey, don't make a rush
to judgment here.

You're dealing with
one dumb gal.

Your devotion to the children
is touching, Miss Fine,

but don't be ridiculous.

If I thought for one moment you
were responsible for all this,

I'd have to fire you.

Fire me?

Fran, stop trying to cover
for me.

Dad, I had the party when Fran
went out last night.

She had nothing
to do with this.

Maggie.
Fran.

I did it.

No, I did this.

Oh, and I suppose
you're the one

that spilled the bottle
of cream rinse

on the Persian rug?

No.

Oh, it must have been
Niles.

Well, I certainly hope it
was
worth it, young lady.

You're grounded
indefinitely.

Dad, the Nine Inch Nails
concert is tonight.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield, wait.

End of discussion,
Miss Fine.

Maggie, are you
out of your mind?

Fran, I didn't want you
to get fired.

I care more about you
than I do any concert.

Oh, I love you.

And I kind of forgot
it was tonight.

Ohhhh.

Oh, Niles, can you believe
what a mensch

that kid turned out to be?

Hmm?

Oh, I'm not gonna let her

miss that concert
to save my butt.

I don't care
if he does fire me.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Oh, meanwhile,
that bumper sticker

wasn't the stupidest thing
I ever did.

Miss Fine, what on earth
possessed you?

I specifically said
no parties.

Well, technically, you told
Maggie no parties.

Don't you start with
the semantics.

Oh, so now you're gonna fire me
because you're anti-semantic?

Miss Fine.
Oh, all right.

But before you do
anything rash,

just remember
I'm a fabulous nanny

and a wonderful influence
on the children.

Oh, I gotta go.

If a hooker named Sparkles
calls, tell her that I'm in
court.

Do you think this is cute
enough
for an arraignment? No?

Niles, I'm beginning
to think that hiring

a door-to-door cosmetics
salesgirl

as a nanny was not
my finest hour.

Although your skin has never
looked more supple.

Niles, this is the woman
who's raising my children.

Yes, and look what
she's done to them.

Miss Grace's therapist is no
longer on the speed dial.

Master Brighton has given up
those insipid little blazers

with the nautical emblems
and the gold b...

Which look so good
on you, sir.

Niles, Margaret is at a very
impressionable age right now,

and Miss Fine's behavior is
hardly character-building.

That was certainly
proven today.

What 16-year-old
in her right mind

would give up the concert
of her life to save a
friend?

Niles, if I show Miss Fine
leniency now,

I'll have someone
working for me

who has absolutely no respect
for my authority

and never listens
to a word I say.

Right?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I checked
out after I made my point.

The State v. Fran Fine.

Yes?

Miss Fine?
Yes?

Do you have your attorney
present?

Oh, my attorney present.

Oh, oh, you know what?

I'm not gonna get him
anything.

Let's see how he does first.

Is this a competency
hearing?

Meanwhile, what's the use in
having a lawyer for an uncle

if he's a no-show?

Well, is he any good?

Well, he worked for some
pretty good law firms.

I mean, Freeburg, Freeman,
and free for the family.

He's strictly pro bono.
Really?

Well, I'm glad he's not
representing me

because I'm pro-Cher.

Hold it. Hold it.

MAN: Will you hold it?

I--I object. I object.

You object to what?

To those electric doors
in the men's room.

That's the elevator.

Use the stairs.

Can we get on with this,
please?

Yes, Your Honor. My client has
been unjustly accused,

and I say that--

which one is my client?

Oh, it's me. It's me,
Uncle Manny.

Fran, Yetta's granddaughter.

Oh, Yetta's granddaughter.

Who's Yetta?

I'm your great-niece.
I spoke to you last night.

I'm Sylvia Fine's daughter.

Oh, yeah.

The one that's not married.

That you remember?

So, Your Honor, what--what
are the charges?

Conducting business in a
residential neighborhood

without a franchise tax license,

a city business license

or a liquor license.

Wow.

You're gonna need a lawyer.

You're a lawyer.

Then you're in luck.

Sweetheart, isn't that skirt
a little snug?

Well, maybe just a little.

You hear that, Your Honor?

The skirt is snug.

So if it doesn't fit,
you must acquit.

That's my defense?
Oh, I'm going to jail.

Do I get conjugal visits?

Sure.

All right, put me down
for six years.

Oy, what am I saying?

Uncle Manny, do something.

I'm sorry, Your Honor, I
think
the defense is resting.

Miss Fine, would you just
like to plead?

Yes, I would.

Oh, please, please,
don't send me to jail.

MAXWELL: Your--Your Honor,
permission to approach
the bench?

Come on down.

Mr. Sheffield, what are you
doing here?

Your Honor, this--this woman
works for me.

The--the party was held
in my home.

And, well, I have never known
her to knowingly break the
law,

well, except for the free
pay-per-view,

but then everyone schmears
the cable man.

Right?

Why don't you just go
sit down with the rest
of the dream team?

Mr. Sheffield, the party
was
in your house?

Then you are responsible
for the party.

I am fining you $500.

And you are free to go.

And thank God, so am I.

Thank you, thank you.

I can tell you one thing,
I'm not paying that fine.

Oh, you're gonna fight the
system. What a turn-on.

Nope. You're paying it.

What a turnoff.

It's coming out
of your salary.

Oh, my salary.

So does that mean you're
not gonna fire me?

No. But since you acted
like a bloody teenager,
you're grounded.

Grounded?

You know, I'm a grown woman.

Why don't you just put me over
your knee and spank me?

Oh, what do you know, we made
it back to turn-on.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

FRAN:Don't move,
I'm coming back
with a surprise.

Sweetheart, you look
fabulous in that dress.

Oh, thank you.

Can I try it on?