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1
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,040
(music) heard of a van that is
loaded with weapons (music)
2
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,360
(music) packed up and ready to go (music)
3
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,760
(music) heard of some gravesites
out by the highway (music)
4
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,960
(music) a place where nobody knows (music)
5
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,360
(music) the sound of gunfire
off in the distance (music)
6
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,600
(music) I'm getting used to it now (music)
7
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,040
(music) lived in a brownstone
I've lived in the ghetto (music)
8
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,600
(music) I've lived
all over this town (music)
9
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,640
(music) this ain't no party
this ain't no disco (music)
10
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,000
(music) this ain't no foolin' around (music)
11
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,360
(music) no time for dancin'
or lovey-dovey (music)
12
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,440
(music) I ain't got time
for that now (music)
13
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,960
(music) transmit the message
to the receiver (music)
14
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,560
(music) Hope for an answer someday (music)
15
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,080
(music) I got three passports (music)
16
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,960
(music) a couple of visas (music)
17
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,800
(music) Don't even know my real name (music)
18
00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,400
(music) high on the hillside
trucks are loading (music)
19
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,040
(music) everything's ready to roll (music)
20
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,080
(music) I-I-I sleep in the daytime
I work in the nighttime (music)
21
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,360
(music) I might not ever get home (music)
22
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,880
(music) this ain't no party
this ain't no disco (music)
23
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,160
(music) this ain't no
foolin' around (music)
24
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,560
[ groans ]
25
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,840
[ woman ]
dirt-box.
26
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:25,040
You should've washed once
in the last ten years.
Washing's overrated.
27
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,360
I'm trusting you, Colm.
It's me getting you in.
28
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,280
Just 'cause
you can't hold a job.
29
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,080
Hurts. Hurtin'.
It was strings
I was pullin'.
30
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,680
They've already
a barber.
But I'm Mr. Skills.
31
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,720
You've to make me look good.
It's both of us
work there now.
32
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,320
Need a hand holdin'
him down, Bronagh ?
I can handle him.
33
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,240
Thanks for the sandwiches,
Mrs. O�Neill.
34
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,680
You're always
welcome here, Bronagh.
35
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,440
It's disgusting
in there.
Squeezing blackheads ?
36
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,360
It's just so erotic.
37
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,920
[ Bronagh ]
there's only five
of us now, including you.
38
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,880
Only five what ?
Only five catholics.
39
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,320
In the whole nuthouse ?
Aye. Working.
40
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,720
All the patients
are almost all catholic.
41
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,360
Right. He's in there.
42
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,840
You're on your
best behavior, you hear ?
43
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,040
Meep-meep !
Sadistic.
Masochistic.
44
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,280
Oh !
45
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,520
The new catholic.
46
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,680
- The new barber.
- I'm only slaggin'.
47
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,640
I'll do the honors.
48
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,840
You'll have
no problem remembering.
We're all billys.
49
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080
- Billy Jewel.
- How are ya ?
50
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,120
Billy Weatherly.
51
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,000
- How are ya ?
- Billy Evans.
52
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,560
Nice to meet ya.
53
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,000
- Bill Wilson.
- Bill.
54
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,040
- Billy William.
- Billy.
55
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,520
I'm Billy King.
They call me King Billy.
No offense.
56
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,800
- None taken.
You're the boss man ?
- That's debatable.
57
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,920
All right, Colm.
58
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,720
The other fella's,
uh, a good fella.
59
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,120
Protestant fella.
60
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,520
Do you like poetry ?
61
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,480
Not really.
Whatever you do,
don't mention poetry.
62
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:32,000
He's into poetry.
He's the pain
in the rectum.
63
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,240
So, you're
into poetry ?
64
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,040
Do you like poetry ?
65
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,320
Sure, I guess.
My granny wrote a bit.
66
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,080
Your granny ?
Was she ever published ?
67
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,600
She had a poem
in the telegraph
when she died.
68
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,080
What was the subject ?
69
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,320
It was weird. It was
something to do with your
woman from the Wizard of Oz.
70
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,880
Judy Garland.
I love her.
Aye, her.
71
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,720
Well, she's all right.
Like, yeah.
72
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:12,000
Oh, was it an ode ?
Or was she into
Judy Garland ?
73
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,520
She liked her like,
yeah.
74
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,480
That's fantastic.
75
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,760
His name was Colm,
the hairdressing man.
76
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,360
His granny had a poem
in the telly.
77
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,640
Felly-welly...
78
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,080
Had a jelly
old belly...
79
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,760
For the mother
of Liza Minnelli.
80
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,840
That's very good there.
Bit of a talent.
81
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,720
Come in handy
with the ladies ?
82
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,120
From the mountain
of mourne to hades.
83
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,240
You should be drivin'
a Mercedes.
84
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,960
I'd like to borrow
Warren Beatty�s.
85
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,480
1980s--
86
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,760
Euphrates.
87
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,280
Right. Where do you
want him, boys ?
88
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,880
Why don't you
take him, Colm ?
[ speaking, indistinct ]
89
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:26,040
Up you go.
Get you all cleaned up.
90
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,120
I'll just be sitting
over here waiting
for ya, all right ?
91
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,120
Hello there, sir.
92
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,600
You know,
I've been meaning
to ask somebody.
93
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,200
Do you know where they're
holding the Eurovision
song contest this year ?
94
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,680
'cause I've been
hearing Helsinki--
[ yelling ]
95
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,680
Derrick.
96
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,400
Derrick !
97
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,840
Put the man down,
Derrick !
98
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:56,600
Right. Right.
So-- clear !
99
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,760
[ electrical static ]
[ groans ]
100
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,320
It's just a bit off
the back and sides.
101
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,320
[ George ] so we're chasing
this wee bastard up the road.
[ Colm ] the joyrider ?
102
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,960
Right.
He's doing about 80
up the Shan kill Road.
103
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,360
In your cousin's car ?
Aye,
the thievin' git.
104
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,320
Were you driving ?
My cousin was driving,
but it was my car, like.
105
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,760
Your cousin's
drivin' your escort and
the skinhead's drivin' his car.
106
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,600
My cousin's car.
Right. Next !
107
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,440
So, he whips it up
this street.
108
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,120
Me and my cousin
in hot pursuit.
109
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,360
And I'm telling my cousin
to give it up and
he's not listening.
110
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,480
He's like a demon.
So the kid's making
a beeline up the mountain.
111
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,000
Up to the racetrack.
Have you ever driven
on that road ?
112
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,640
Aye, sort of it.
It's a racetrack.
The road's so smooth.
113
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,960
It's a fuckin' racetrack.
It's a road and a fuckin'
racetrack.
114
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,240
You can drive on it,
even if you're not
in a race.
115
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,720
Precisely.
So we're still right up
his arse, right ?
116
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,200
In my car.
And we go faster and faster...
117
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,560
Till we're fuckin' flyin'.
118
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,800
And the car starts
to shake and shudder.
119
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,040
It was not meant
for high-speed pursuit,
the ford escort.
120
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,080
And I feel
the fuckin' g-forces
stretchin' me cheeks...
121
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,720
Like a fuckin' astronaut.
Jesus.
122
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,760
Like I'm frozen
to the seat in terror.
Jesus.
123
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,160
And I look over
at the speedometer,
and it says...
124
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,480
A hundred and ninety.
125
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,080
A hundred and ninety ?
A hundred and ninety.
126
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,240
- Would you fuck off.
A hundred and ninety ?
- I swear to God. 190.
127
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,800
In an escort ?
In an escort.
128
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,520
All right.
It's 4:00 in the morning,
it's Christmas Eve,
129
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,320
And I'm chasing some kid
around a fuckin' racetrack
at a hundred and ninety.
130
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,240
In an escort ?
In an escort.
131
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,320
Did you catch him ?
132
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,760
The engine blew up.
He died ?
133
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,680
No, our engine blew up.
You're kidding.
134
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,160
I hadn't put oil in it.
And it blew up ?
135
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,120
I'm not a handyman.
The joyrider got away ?
136
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,200
The engine exploded.
The lesson was taught.
137
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,360
It hadn't seen oil
since the day it was bought.
138
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,440
- Seven years.
- You didn't put oil
in it for seven years.
139
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,960
I forgot.
I'm not a handyman.
140
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,760
Your cousin
pissed off ?
Second degree burns.
141
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,800
He was burnt ?
Face, neck and hands.
142
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,920
Were you burnt ?
Not a scratch.
143
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,880
Jesus.
He hasn't spoken
to me since.
144
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,760
Jesus.
We were very close,
him and I.
145
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,520
Was he scarred ?
Holy fuck.
A bit, aye.
146
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,800
Did they find his car ?
Aye, the next day.
147
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,200
Was nothing wrong
with the car ?
There was one thing.
148
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,120
Stolen.
His radio ?
149
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,120
No. All his
Elton John tapes
were missing.
150
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:33,520
Quite a collection.
The bastard stole all
of his Elton John tapes.
151
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,760
He's fantastic.
152
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,920
Elton John ?
Aye.
153
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,360
Fuckin' genius.
154
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,200
[ man ]
(music) oh, Ruby (music)
155
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,520
(music) oh, Ruby (music)
156
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:58,520
(music) Don't take your love
to time (music)
157
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,360
The scalper.
158
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,360
What are you
going on about ?
Your man ?
159
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,320
The fresh nutter.
The scalper.
160
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,480
What, like getting
tickets to a concert ?
161
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,880
No, like a real scalper.
He flipped.
162
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,560
He literally scalped
four people.
163
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:22,040
- Jesus Christ.
- Some hairpiece fella.
164
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,000
Had enough.
Started scalping
some of his customers.
165
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,400
Did you ever scalp
a man, George ?
166
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,720
[ George ] hairpieces ?
[ orderly ]
he had the only company.
167
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:43,600
- What, like a monopoly ?
- No. Just him.
168
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,600
He had the only
hairpiece company
in all of Northern Ireland.
169
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,920
- In all of Northern Ireland ?
- In all of northern Ireland.
170
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,400
- Who has it now ?
- Nobody.
171
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,560
Well, how would somebody
go about contacting...
172
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,240
All those, you know,
unserviced baldies ?
173
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,080
- He has a list.
- A list ?
- He keeps it in his bible.
174
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,240
I'm after having an idea.
An epiphany.
175
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,680
[ Colm ]
some Scottish fella.
He was into the hairpieces.
176
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,000
He threw a wobbler, started
scalping his customers.
[ Bronagh ] Jesus.
177
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,840
He was the only
hairpiece fella
in all of northern Ireland.
178
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,440
He was loaded.
Fucker had two jacuzzis.
179
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,520
Two ?
Aye. The wee ones.
One for each foot.
180
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,440
And you wanna go in
on it with George ?
Aye.
181
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,680
You butter the catholics,
George the protestants.
Sounds good.
182
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,600
Nonsectarian-like.
Pacifists.
183
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,840
Pacifists make good money.
You ever heard
of a broke pacifist ?
184
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,760
Exactly.
185
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,760
And what about
the nuthouse ?
186
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,480
I've had it up to here
with that place.
Oh, Colm.
187
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:55,240
What ?
You've only been
working there
for two days.
188
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,520
On to bigger
and better things, baby.
189
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,120
There's only one thing
I'm not looking forward to.
What's that ?
190
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,200
We're gonna have
to talk to the scalper.
191
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,920
Dim the light.
192
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,160
You not frightened ?
193
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,240
Are you not in it
above your heads ?
194
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,840
You think
I was predisposed.
[ grunts ]
195
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,920
A genetic inevitable.
What ?
196
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,440
A nutter...
197
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,520
Waiting for the one word
that'll set him off.
198
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,960
What ?
199
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,280
Ah, you've balls.
You pity me.
200
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,360
You greedy little children...
201
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,840
Want to survive.
202
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,520
You greedy,
sad little children,
203
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,480
You want to triumph.
204
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,480
[ coughing ]
205
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,120
I swallowed a fly.
Done it before.
206
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,800
Full of protein.
207
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,400
Six legs, four wings
and eighteen eyes.
208
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,120
But I beat the fucker.
209
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,080
Did you ever read
saint Paul's letter
to the hermaphrodites ?
210
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,240
It says,
211
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,880
"dear hermaphrodites,
212
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,240
"go fuck yourselves.
213
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,600
"yours sincerely,
214
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,560
Saint Paul."
215
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,160
You dare...
216
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,200
Strut through
the valley of death ?
217
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,280
Where's your fear
of the venal ?
218
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,320
Where's your sense
of Christianity,
219
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,600
You greedy,
sad little children ?
220
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,080
You want the list ?
The names ?
221
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,360
The cash ?
The triumph ? Answer !
222
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,560
- Yes.
- Yes ?
223
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,760
Y-yes.
224
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,560
One reason why.
225
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,040
One reason why.
226
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,320
It's yours if...
227
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,960
Your answer pleases me.
228
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,800
Must be very clever.
What ?
229
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,960
Why you ?
230
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,000
Why ?
231
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,360
We're bored ?
232
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:44,960
What ?
233
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:52,160
What the fuck's
a hermaphrodite ?
I think
I'm after soiling myself.
234
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,400
[ Colm ] the scalper
gave us his franchise
for wigs of Wimbledon.
235
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,000
We're the only
hairpiece company
in all of Northern Ireland.
236
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,880
[ George ]
we've a monopoly on hairpieces.
[ woman ] that's dead on.
237
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,840
Was your man an Indian ?
He's doing
very well.
238
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,720
Sit still,
kemosabe.
239
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,760
What page are we on ?
One.
240
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,960
He had a Volvo
and a house on
the Malone road.
241
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,040
We've
his client list.
A Volvo ?
242
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,840
I love Volvos.
Are those good ?
Aye.
243
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,720
Did youse get
to see the scalps ?
244
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,400
It says you have to twist.
You have to twist this around.
245
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,480
- What do you mean, twist ?
- Twist.
- Cut off his circulation.
246
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,440
That's too tight.
Slobber up.
247
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,760
- Did you hear the name ?
- The what ?
- [ Colm ] name of the company.
248
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,240
Is it good ?
Bronagh came up
with it.
249
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,200
- He's a prod.
- Who's "he" ?
250
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,800
[ Colm ]
George is a protestant.
[ George ] it's good.
251
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,680
- [ Colm ]
and I'm a catholic.
- I know that, son.
252
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,680
The Piece People.
253
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,440
P-I-e-c-e.
Do you get it ?
254
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,320
Hairpieces.
Do you not get it ?
255
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,360
It's very good.
[ Colm ]
The Piece People.
256
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,000
You were always
the clever one, Bronagh.
257
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,080
It's for the nicotine,
George.
258
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,120
[ Colm ]
it stains her hair.
259
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,320
The knickers act
like a buffer.
From the nicotine.
260
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,040
It's just knickers,
George.
261
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,320
Aye.
262
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,320
There's no highfalutin
here, George.
263
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,000
Was this
on somebody's head ?
264
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,160
[ George ]
it's just a sample.
[ Colm ] it's just for show.
265
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:12,080
Does it fit anybody, like ?
It fits nobody here.
Come here. Give me that.
266
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,600
Jesus. Fuck me.
Oh, sorry, Mrs. O�Neill.
267
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,440
George, this
is in the back.
268
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,960
"our all-natural toupees
contain real, organic hair,
269
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,880
"collected across
the European continent...
270
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,920
"from such reputable sources
as the Lithuanian hair
collective in vilinius...
271
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:33,920
"and the sisters de medici
convent in Rome...
272
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,160
- Ah, Jesus.
- Catholic nuns.
273
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,840
Where all the profits
go to the church."
274
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,840
Ah, Jesus.
275
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,240
- The Roman catholic church.
- Nun hair. That's a gas.
276
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,720
Jesus.
277
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,040
- You still in it, George ?
- I'm not so sure about it now.
278
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:55,360
You're gonna be
spending eternity in hell
with us catholics now, George.
279
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,960
What are we forgetting ?
280
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Cellophane ?
Check.
281
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,240
Sticky tape ?
Double-sided.
282
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,400
Marker ?
What else ?
Marker.
283
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:39,000
I think that's it.
Are we forgetting something ?
284
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,160
It feels like
we're forgetting something.
285
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,440
Will I do the taping
and the writing ?
Aye, and I'll do the twisting.
286
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,080
Right.
Right.
287
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,320
Right.
288
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,840
Right.
289
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,760
Act like you know
what you're doing.
290
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,320
Yes ?
291
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,400
From ballymuck to ards,
292
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,320
From chapel to steeple,
293
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:22,160
Be sure to bet your cards
on the oul piece people.
294
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,120
Okay.
295
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,480
Hello.
We're The Piece People.
296
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Look, I'm proud of youse.
But what are you
bothering me for ?
297
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,640
We're here for
the hairpiece demonstration.
298
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,680
Is this some sort
of government thing ?
No, sir.
299
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,400
'cause I don't know
who you've been talking to,
but she's a fuckin' liar.
300
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,040
- Who's a liar ?
- I'm a good Christian man.
301
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,680
A man who's avoided
the sins of the flesh.
That's great.
302
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,040
- My body is a temple.
- Could we come inside, sir ?
303
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,480
I don't know
who you've been talking to,
but she's a fuckin' liar.
304
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,440
- You'll find
no herpes here.
- Herpes ?
305
00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:01,360
Isn't that
what you said ?
No, sir. Hairpieces.
306
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,560
Oh.
307
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,440
Thought you said herpes.
No, sir.
308
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,080
No.
So, what do you want ?
309
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,480
We're with
the hairpieces.
310
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,680
Okay.
311
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,680
You had an appointment
for a hairpiece.
312
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,720
You've
the wrong house.
I don't think so.
313
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,440
- I think so.
- It says 137 Dunmurry Lane.
314
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,200
But I've no appointment.
I think I don't.
I think you do.
315
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,200
- Are you Mr. Black ?
- Who wants to know ?
316
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,560
We have an appointment
with a Mr. Black.
Is that you ?
317
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,000
- Maybe, but I've
no fucking appointment.
- You fucking do.
318
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,960
- I fucking don't !
- Have you ever considered
getting one ?
319
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,840
- What ? A hairpiece ?
- Yes.
320
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,000
- Like this one.
- Would you come in with that ?
321
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,920
As a matter of fact,
I have considered it, actually.
322
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,040
Sheds years
off your appearance.
323
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,600
Here.
Give us a go, Will ya ?
324
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,160
Yeah.
325
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,000
That's dead on.
326
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,520
Ah, shit.
You know what ?
What ?
327
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,840
I can't take this.
It needs why not ?
The sticky tape.
328
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,360
No, it's nice and all,
but, uh, see, my part's
on the right.
329
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,320
Pardon ?
My natural part.
330
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,000
I always parted
my hair on the right.
Aye ?
331
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,360
Well, this here wig
parts on the left.
Right.
332
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,600
I'd feel weird.
It looks great.
333
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,160
No, it looks nice and all,
but the part's on the left.
You see ?
334
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:55,520
- How's that ?
- [ laughing ]
335
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,640
That's fuckin' brilliant.
[ laughing ]
336
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,280
What's you want for it ?
Fifty.
337
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:07,280
Fifty quid ?
Are you sick ?
No, thanks, boys.
338
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,280
Forty.
Thirty.
Thirty-five.
Twenty-five.
339
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,600
We're supposed
to haggle with him.
Twenty-five's our final offer.
340
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,760
And we're throw in
the sticky tape.
341
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,640
- I don't have that sort
of cash just laying about.
- We'll take a check.
342
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,920
- You will ?
- With five pound
up front, cash.
343
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,200
Gentlemen,
you got yourself a deal.
344
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,480
[ Colm ]
he said he didn't
have an appointment.
345
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,880
Was he on
the scalper's list ?
346
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,160
You saw his picture
in the paper ?
347
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,080
Why was his picture
in the paper ?
What did he do ?
348
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:35,240
- He shot a catholic.
- What ?
349
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,480
You sent me out
to see someone
who shot a catholic ?
350
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,240
[ Bronagh laughing ]
Don't laugh.
You're fired.
351
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,120
Well, alleged or not,
you're a psycho.
What's she saying ?
352
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,640
She saw your man's
picture in the paper.
He shot a catholic.
353
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,360
Alleged or what ? She says
we should've got more for
the wig. Can you believe that ?
354
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,760
For your information,
psycho, we sold him
the sample wig.
355
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,480
I thought you'd like that.
Right. It cost us nothing.
356
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,240
Well, we know
you're helping us.
357
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,080
What time's
our next lead ?
It better be legit.
358
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,200
Listen, stick
to the list, would ye ?
The list. The scalper's list.
359
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,160
The list is the bible.
360
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,320
Right. Okay ? Bye.
See ye.
361
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,760
(music) fightin' fire
with fire (music)
362
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,720
(music) burnin' down the house (music)
363
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,640
(music) [ continues ]
364
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,760
Mrs. McGivern.
I thought you might
like to know,
365
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,960
What with the rain
and everything.
Come in, Eileen.
366
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,160
You know how they talk.
Who talks ?
367
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,760
What are you saying ?
The neighbors.
How the rumors spread.
368
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,040
Mrs. McGivern,
what's up ?
Spit it out.
369
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,320
About your Mickey.
Is he all right ?
370
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,320
He's sleeping in the rain
down there against the wall.
371
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,320
Jesus !
[ Rose ]
right.
372
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,360
He won't wake up.
373
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,720
Thank you very much,
Mrs. McGivern.
The coats, Gerty.
374
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:11,760
They'd say he had trouble
with the drink.
375
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,120
And him not 17.
Thank you very much,
Mrs. McGivern.
376
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,520
And, please,
Don't let us keep you.
377
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,080
Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
It was no problem.
378
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,880
(music) [ "God save the queen" ]
379
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,800
- Excuse me.
- [ Bronagh ]
it's all right, Colm.
380
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,800
Excuse me.
Colm, it's all right.
Come on.
381
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,720
Face the music, Paddy.
382
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,520
What ?
Face the music.
383
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,080
- Colm, it's all right.
- You're a fuckin' hard bum
with your mates ?
384
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,360
Face the music, Paddy.
385
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,320
Colm.
386
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,760
He'll ruin the upholstery.
We'll have to get
these clothes off.
387
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,720
Give me a hand, Gerty.
388
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,880
I'll help
with the shoes, like.
389
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,440
Now the sweatshirt.
390
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,320
The pants.
I'll have to draw
the line there.
391
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,800
Help me
with the pants.
I'll be in the kitchen.
392
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,120
He has
underpants on, sure.
393
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,440
Maybe.
It's Mickey, Gerty.
394
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,440
- He's always ridin' bareback.
- You used to wash his arse.
395
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,040
He was only
a wee boy then.
Are you feckin' weird ?
396
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,040
Oh, all right.
397
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,680
- [ screams ]
Jesus and Mary !
- The dirty bugger.
398
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,920
I told you. Jesus !
Oh, relax.
399
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,040
I'll be
in the skullery.
400
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:16,240
It's only his wee man, Gerty.
Or should I say his big man ?
401
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,600
He didn't get that
from his daddy.
402
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,000
We'll let him sleep.
Then I'll kill him.
403
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,840
Who's that
on the settee ?
404
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,840
- What ?
- Who's that on the settee?
405
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,600
What ?
It's your
brother, Mickey.
406
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,720
No, it's not.
407
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,680
Of course it is,
you wee messer.
408
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,160
Jesus, Mary and Joseph !
Did youse take
his clothes off of him ?
409
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,360
- Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph !
- [ Colm ] hey, is that
some stranger ?
410
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,560
Jesus !
We saw his thing.
[ Colm ] you saw his thing ?
411
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,560
- What, his dick ?
- Bronagh !
412
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,440
I told you.
I'm gonna boke.
413
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,000
Put his clothes
back on.
[ Colm ] what ?
414
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,720
- Quick.
Put his clothes back on.
- I'm not touching him.
415
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,480
Colm !
Jesus,
Mary and Joseph !
416
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,120
- [ Colm ] some stranger ?
- We thought it was Mickey.
- This fella here ?
417
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,880
- Yes, Colm.
- So, you stripped him ?
418
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,800
Jesus, Mary and Joseph !
419
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,840
That's Smok Mullen.
420
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,120
We saw his dick.
Would you shut up ?
421
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,800
You ought to be at the nuthouse
where I could be cutting
your hair.
422
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,520
Put his clothes
back on him.
423
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,080
I am going straight
to confession.
The dirty bugger.
424
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,040
Who's that ?
425
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,480
- [ all ]
Don't ask !
- Smok Mullen.
426
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,760
Put him outside.
427
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,040
- It's raining, sure.
- He'll never know.
Quick. Put him outside.
428
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,040
Jesus Christ !
429
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,560
Was he robbing us
or something ?
430
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,760
Don't ask.
This is all your fault.
431
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,120
How is it my fault ?
432
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,560
Hiya, Milker.
Ach, Colim.
How ya doing ?
433
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,120
How's the milk business ?
Utter chaos.
How's your mummy ?
434
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,680
Utter lunatic.
435
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Tell her
I was asking about her.
I will indeed, Milker.
436
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,680
Hey, how's
the McGee family ?
437
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,520
[ Bronagh ]
hello. Uh, Mr. Black ?
438
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,760
Yes, hello, Mr. Black.
Good afternoon.
439
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,480
I'm calling on behalf...
440
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,720
Of The Piece People
incorporated.
441
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,720
Yes, you had
procured your product
on the 20th of October.
442
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,920
Sorry. I can't make out
what you're saying.
What ? My what ?
443
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,000
- Did you get your wig ?
- Oh. The rug ?
444
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,040
Yes, quite.
Were you satisfied
with the product ?
445
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,120
Oh, aye. I love it.
It has changed my life.
446
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,080
Yes, quite.
And, uh, what seems
to be the problem ?
447
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,800
We seem
to have had some trouble
with the check you wrote us.
448
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,320
Really ?
What sort of trouble ?
449
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,640
I'm afraid to say
it bounced.
450
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,240
Jesus !
That's terrible, so it is.
451
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,160
Ah, listen, um,
I'm at work here
at the moment.
452
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,200
Um, write down this number.
Have you a pen handy ?
453
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,280
Yes. And it's
at your home number
shall I call you later ?
454
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,320
No. That's
my lawyer's number.
455
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,560
Your lawyer's number ?
Affirmative.
456
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,920
And why are you giving me
your lawyer's number ?
'cause I'm not paying for it.
457
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,840
Oh, you're not ?
No, I'm not.
458
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,160
You'll pay for that wig.
Or what ?
459
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,840
Or I'll personally knock
your fuckin' balls in.
460
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,600
- Will ye ?
Tell it to the judge.
- Aye, I will.
461
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,600
I'll knock his balls in too,
ya baldy, fat, bald bastard.
462
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,640
Oh, I'm fat now, am I ?
You're dead is what you are.
463
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,880
Was that a threat ?
It's a threat
you'll pay for that wig.
464
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,520
Or what ?
Or I'll rip your head off and
smack you up the face with it,
465
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,960
Ya baldy
feck bastard !
466
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,120
You have a way
with words, miss.
Good-bye.
467
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,840
- Anyone for a cup of tea ?
- Yes, please.
468
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,880
Yes.
Two, sure.
469
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,120
Ah, for fuckin' sakes.
470
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,280
I thought
we have a monopoly.
We do.
471
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,680
Well, we've to get
on the horn to wigs
of Wimbledon but pronto.
472
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,320
What do you mean ?
Is the ad all right ?
Have you seen this ?
473
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,920
Oh, aye, the ad looks great.
And so does this one
right next to it.
474
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,440
- [ George ]
"toupee or not toupee."
- what is that about ?
475
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,640
Let's make
a phone call.
476
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,560
Right.
What did he say ?
477
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,240
He's coming to Belfast.
He wants to see us
Monday morning.
478
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,800
But what did he say ?
That's it.
He'll tell us Monday, 9:00.
479
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,000
[ horn honking ]
480
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,560
How long does it
take you to get ready ?
481
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,000
Drive on there.
You're all right.
What time is it ?
482
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,040
What time is it ?
483
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,640
Quarter to nine.
484
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,360
We're late.
We're dead.
485
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,720
It's the head honcho
from Wimbledon.
486
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,360
Relax. We're close.
487
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,080
Will them'ns be there ?
Toupee or not toupee ?
488
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:58,320
You know as much as me.
I Hope they are.
I Hope they are.
489
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,680
We're gonna get the boot.
This is cat.
490
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,920
Hey, hold on one second.
Pull over. Pull over !
Pull over !
491
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,840
What ?
In there. In there.
Right here. Right here.
492
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,040
Right here. Right here.
493
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,400
Look. Look.
Stop.
What's wrong ?
494
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,000
That's your man.
495
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,840
Stop your messin'.
Your man, Mr. Black.
496
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,640
We're gonna be late.
Aye, it's late. Let's go.
Is it him ?
497
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,960
- Hold on a minute.
- I'll leave you,
you bastard.
498
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,080
- I'm getting our money back.
- We're gonna be late.
499
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,280
The money or the wig.
Nobody fucks an O�Neill.
Two minutes. Wait.
Colm.
500
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:32,480
Colm !
501
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,880
Ah, Colm !
502
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,920
Here. Hang on.
Do you do this often,
Mr. Black ?
503
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,160
Do your friends
know you're a crook ?
Talk to my lawyer.
504
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,080
Give us it back.
The wig.
Give you what back ?
505
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,240
If you can't pay for it,
give us it back.
You're not getting it.
506
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,960
I like it.
It makes me look younger.
507
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,280
Pay for it then.
508
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:57,720
Possession is nine-tengths
of the law, Mr. Wig-man.
Tell it to the judge.
509
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,080
Come on, Colm.
510
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,960
You ! The list !
What ?
511
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,400
Your feet shall be smooth...
512
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,000
As you move through
the valley of death !
513
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,080
The scrotum is
the devil's tobacco pipe !
514
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,160
You bastard !
515
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,720
Stop that man !
Stop, thief !
Ya bastard !
516
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,880
George !
517
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,320
George !
518
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,320
Daddy loves baby.
519
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,960
Does baby love
his daddy ?
520
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,280
[ shouting, indistinct ]
521
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,040
[ indistinct ]
522
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,080
I'll fucking kill ya !
523
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,880
I'll get ye !
I'll get ye !
524
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,440
Go in after him,
Will ya ?
525
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:04,400
Here. Here.
I've still got
your sticky tape.
526
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,200
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
527
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,240
Still got your fuckin'
sticky tape, ya bastard !
528
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,280
Ya yellow-belly
bugger !
529
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,880
Repossession !
530
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,640
Here. Do me
a fucking favor,
ya bugger !
531
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,000
Do me a fucking favor,
ya bugger !
532
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,360
[ continues,
indistinct ]
533
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,480
[ man ] let's see.
Our sales projection
of next year being very good.
534
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:49,920
Wigs of Wimbledon are faced
with a difficult decision.
535
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,840
Who should be given the monopoly
of handling our products
in northern Ireland ?
536
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,000
Piece people or
toupee or not toupee ?
537
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,200
Having given this
considerable thought--
538
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,640
[ dogs barking ]
539
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,920
Just what I need now.
540
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:25,200
No. No barking here.
No. Go away.
541
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,360
Get away from me !
542
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:33,120
No. Nothing's here.
Go away !
543
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,640
Okay. Nice to meet ye.
Good-bye.
[ barking, snarling ]
544
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,120
Hey, would ye
get away, would ye ?
545
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,680
It's my wig. My wig.
Away from me.
546
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,000
Come here.
Come here ! Give us that.
547
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,840
Come here, ye !
548
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,600
Hey, come here, ye.
Come here.
549
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,320
Oh, come here.
It's mine.
550
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,360
Screw it.
551
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,160
George's there ? He's having
himself a wee cup of tea ?
Put him on the phone.
552
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,880
Put him on the phone.
Let me talk to him.
He's scared.
553
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,440
He should be scared.
He won't come on the phone.
554
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,960
He won't come on the phone ?
He will not come on the phone.
555
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,960
Put him on the--
did he get the wig back ?
556
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,280
Did you get the wig back ?
No, I didn't get
the wig back.
557
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,200
Would you tell him I'll be
in to see him shortly ?
He'll be in to see you shortly.
558
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,040
Bronagh, can you come get me ?
I'm freezing. Will they let you
off work to come get me ?
559
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,920
I don't know. I'll try.
Well, figure it out,
would ya ?
560
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,120
Okay ? Right.
I'll be there shortly.
561
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,120
Bye.
562
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,600
[ dog whining ]
563
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,000
[ growling ]
564
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,040
What ?
How's it going ?
565
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,760
Look what I got here.
Are you a protestant doggie ?
566
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,360
[ barking ]
[ laughing ]
567
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,960
La la la la la la !
568
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,840
Get lost.
You're not getting it.
569
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,840
Possession
is nine-tengths of the law.
570
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:27,720
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh, look what I have.
[ laughing ]
571
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,040
Coward !
572
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,520
[ Bronagh ]
come here.
You must be freezing.
573
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,560
George was afraid
to talk to you.
[ Colm ] was he ?
574
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,440
Hold that for a second.
It's chewed to fuck.
575
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,680
A dog ate it.
No problem.
576
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,880
I'm gonna send it
back to the factory.
577
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,720
It's the sample.
Tell them it was faulty.
578
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,400
Pretty slick
businessman, huh ?
No cobwebs on you, J.R.
579
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,880
Hey, come here.
We've got to call the cops.
Why ?
580
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,720
- I'm just after
seeing the scalper.
- They let him out.
581
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,160
What you mean
they let him out ?
Did I not tell you ?
582
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:04,080
- No. How could
they let him out ?
- They say he's harmless.
583
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,880
- Harmless ?
He scalped four people.
- They say he's rehabilitated.
584
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,200
I thought I told ya.
Rehabilitated ?
585
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,200
Come on.
I'll drive you home.
586
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:16,120
Take me to work.
You're covered in muck.
587
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,240
I'll wash at work.
You don't want
to take a bath ?
588
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:23,880
I'll wash at work.
Okay. Here.
589
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,840
Smelly horse.
590
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:40,640
Now, take it easy.
591
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,280
He's bigger than ye !
592
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,440
Morning, Colm.
Oh, fuck off.
593
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,880
- How's it going, George ?
- It was the scalper.
I'm sorry.
594
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:06,120
Was it ?
The scalper.
We were late.
Remember the scalper ?
595
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,640
- Aye.
- He was there.
- He was, yes, George.
596
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:10,560
Did he see ya ?
Yes, George !
597
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,440
Don't get aggressive.
We were late.
He had a go at me.
598
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,760
He was homeless
and he come at me.
Did he ?
599
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,680
So you left me ?
I'm sorry.
600
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,560
With a fella
who shot a catholic.
I'm sorry.
601
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,080
And the scalper.
In a protestant area.
I couldn't think.
602
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,000
I could've got
fuckin' done.
Don't get aggressive.
603
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:27,080
- I'll knock your shit in !
- I was scared, all right ?
604
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,600
I'm sorry,
605
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,760
But I was scared.
606
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,480
Punch me if you want.
607
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,800
I'm a coward.
608
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,680
Fuck it. You're all right.
609
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,720
I'm a dick.
610
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,920
Are you okay ?
611
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,600
Aye. I'm just--
612
00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:15,240
Just dirty.
613
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,560
What happened ?
614
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,120
I got a bit
of exercise today, George.
615
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,960
Sorry about that.
616
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,400
I'm sorry, Colm.
617
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,400
I went to the meeting.
618
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,320
What did they say ?
619
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,920
They said we have
to duke it out...
620
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,960
With the other company.
621
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,760
What happened
to the monopoly ?
622
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,760
If we win,
we get the monopoly.
623
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,760
He said whoever sells
the most wigs, wins.
624
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,720
Very straightforward.
625
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,680
- Fine. Cash or sales ?
- Sales.
626
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,320
- By when ?
- Christmas.
- All right. Fuck 'em.
627
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,760
Twelve midnight,
Christmas Eve.
628
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,840
Whoever sells
the most wigs, wins.
Very straightforward.
629
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,560
Bit dramatic,
12 midnight.
But fuck them.
630
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,960
- Fuck 'em.
- No surrender.
631
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,280
Right.
632
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:48,200
- I wasn't gonna hit you.
- Okay.
633
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:50,760
You'd kill me anyway.
634
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,400
Want a shampoo ?
635
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:01,760
Aye.
636
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,720
[ chuckling ]
637
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,440
(music) pressure (music)
638
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,360
(music) pressin' down on me (music)
639
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,720
(music) pressin' down on you (music)
640
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,280
(music) under pressure (music)
641
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,200
(music) that burns
a building down (music)
642
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:19,200
(music) splits a family in two (music)
643
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,200
(music) puts people on streets (music)
644
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,120
(music) bah bah bah bah (music)
645
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,560
(music) bah bah bah bah (music)
646
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:27,560
(music) dah dah dah (music)
647
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,160
(music) dah dah dah (music)
648
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,960
(music) that's okay
it's the terror of knowing (music)
649
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,120
(music) what this world is about (music)
650
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:38,360
(music) watching some good friends
screaming, "let me out" (music)
651
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,440
(music) pray tomorrow
takes me higher (music)
652
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,280
(music) pressure on people (music)
653
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,400
(music) people on streets (music)
654
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,960
Good dose of hot water
Will have that off, Colm.
655
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,360
Sure. I was raised
on a farm.
You were ?
656
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,320
[ Colm ]
crack of dawn every morning,
milking the old cows.
657
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,640
Love the bastards.
658
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:07,480
[ clears throat ]
Mr. Duggan. Can we not
do this in your house, sir ?
659
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,640
[ loudly ]
could we not...
[ lowing stops ]
660
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,040
Do this inside ?
661
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:15,600
That's the surprise.
Want to see if they'll notice.
662
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,520
Who'll notice ?
[ cow lows ]
663
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,560
I've had this wig
a long time, boys.
664
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,160
They should know by now.
Right.
665
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,280
Most of them
Haven't a clue.
The cows ?
666
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,960
The what ?
Are you talking
about the cows ?
667
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,640
The cows ?
Noticing
your wig ?
668
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,920
Is he flippin' stupid ?
No.
669
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:39,400
Oh. Well, I thought
you were talking
about the cows.
670
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,800
He thought you were
talking about the cows.
671
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,960
You think
I'm getting a wig
for the flippin' cows ?
672
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,840
No.
673
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,920
My family.
Right.
674
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,280
You're no fuckin'
rocket scientist, you, son.
Right.
675
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:56,280
Right, Mr. Duggan.
We've brought along
some pictures.
676
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,960
Wig for the cows.
Jesus.
677
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:05,440
Look, lads,
I'm just having
a butcher's hook.
678
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,320
Them other lads
were here already.
679
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,680
What other lads ?
Toupee
or not toupee ?
680
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:14,640
Aye. Them'ns.
You see, I'm
a comparative shopper.
681
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,280
Aye, you see, sir,
the benefits of
our product...
682
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,160
[ cows lowing loudly ]
greatly outweigh
the competition's...
683
00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,080
In sheer--
sheer quality.
684
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,040
Sheer quality.
Ours is...
685
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,920
What's he saying ?
686
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,800
He says ours are better.
687
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,520
Mr. Duggan,
cumulatively speaking,
688
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:39,760
We have over 50 years
of experience
in these four hands.
689
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,640
- How much for
the Tony Curtis deluxe ?
- Negotiable.
690
00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:46,160
The others quoted 20.
Aye.
Twenty pounds ?
691
00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:49,760
- Bollocks.
- There must be a mistake.
That's our best one.
692
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,720
Twenty pounds.
The Tony Curtis deluxe.
693
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,640
Aye, the Jamie Lee Curtis
deluxe.
694
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,560
- Mr. Duggan,
there's no way.
- No way.
695
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,760
We offer
superior craftsmanship
at a competitive price.
696
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,080
[ cows lowing ]
we're simply the best
in our field.
697
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:08,440
And if that's not true,
then I'm not the proud son
of a dairy milk farmer !
698
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,600
And you're
not gonna tell them
to shut the fuck up ?
699
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,560
Guess what's for dinner.
700
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,160
[ Colm ] what's
the map say ?
It says you're
a buck eejit.
701
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:28,520
You're the navigator.
I Haven't me glasses.
We're lost.
702
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,240
This is not too good,
thank you.
703
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,600
This does not look
like a motorway to me.
704
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,560
Where are we ?
705
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,240
I think we're here.
706
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,120
I think we're here.
Drive on there.
707
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:46,960
I think we should've
gone left back there.
708
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,640
I don't like
being out here.
You're all right.
709
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:05,680
The I.R.A.
Wouldn't be out here
in the middle of... Nowhere.
710
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:07,880
Wonderful.
711
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,880
Let me do the talking.
712
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,280
[ hammer clicks ]
713
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:26,200
How's it going ?
Turn your engine off.
714
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,480
Who are you ?
715
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,040
I'm Colm.
He's Mickey.
716
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,440
Colm and Mickey who ?
I'm an O�Neill.
He's a protestant.
717
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,920
I mean,
he's an O�Neill too.
718
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,920
- He's a protestant ?
- No, sure. He's my cousin.
719
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,160
How can he be a protestant ?
You're after saying
he was a protestant ?
720
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:48,960
Well, he's not.
I fuckin'
hate protestants !
721
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,480
What are youse doing
on the side of the road ?
722
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,640
Oh, we pulled over.
We were looking
at that map.
723
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,840
- Were youse kissing ?
- No.
- No.
724
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,560
Looked to me
like youse were kissing.
Well, we weren't.
725
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,320
We were driving.
Where were youse going ?
726
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,800
We're looking
for the motorway.
727
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:06,920
What,
on this road here ?
728
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,600
We had an appointment
back up there
with a Mr. Duggan.
729
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:13,000
- We're hairpiece salesmen.
- Traveling.
- That back road there ?
730
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,520
I think.
We're lost.
731
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,440
I would say so, aye.
732
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,600
What business had you
with Duggan ?
733
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,000
He had
an appointment.
What for ?
734
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,920
For a hairpiece.
A hairpiece ?
735
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,800
Aye.
What, like for your head ?
736
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:33,240
Aye.
Phillip Duggan
with the cows ?
737
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,720
Aye, him.
Why ?
738
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,920
Why ?
Aye. Why ?
739
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,880
'cause he's bald.
740
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:48,440
- Get out of the car.
- What ?
- Get out of the fuckin' car !
741
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:53,200
[ all shouting,
indistinct ]
742
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,720
Pip Duggan
doesn't wear a hairpiece.
He does.
743
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,000
- He had a head on him
like a Forest.
- He doesn't.
744
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,840
- Shoot him first.
- Please. Look, he's bald.
745
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,320
I've heard some freakin' scams
in my day. He does not.
He has a wig.
746
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,840
Are you blind ?
It looks like shite.
It's his fucking hair.
747
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,520
- It's hanging off his head.
- He wants
the Tony Curtis deluxe.
748
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,840
- He's a comparative shopper.
- Look in the back of the car.
It's full of hairpieces.
749
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,960
We're not spies.
We're only hairpiece salesmen.
750
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,800
Give me the keys.
751
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,480
If you're fucking lying--
752
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,560
- Where did you get these ?
- Wimbledon.
- Venice.
753
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,560
Venice or Wimbledon ?
754
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:47,760
Wimbledon.
755
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,880
Some of them
are to the nuns.
756
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,800
What ?
What's he saying ?
757
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,080
Some of the wigs
are grown by nuns.
758
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,920
They grow their hair and
sell them for the church.
759
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,320
You got to love the nuns.
760
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,000
You know,
761
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,760
The old wife's
been hounding me.
762
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,160
Do you mind ?
763
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,360
No. Go ahead.
764
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,560
Hold that.
765
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,200
What's this ?
766
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:21,640
Box "x."
767
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,880
Yeah.
768
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,520
Well, that feels
pretty good.
769
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,000
Looks good too.
Yeah ?
770
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:42,240
Aye. You comb that,
that's-- that's
a good-looking wig.
771
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,440
- Aye.
- What do you think ?
772
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:49,320
- I like it, yeah.
- Go on. Have a look
in that mirror there.
773
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,840
The wife'll shite.
[ Colm ]
yeah, that's pretty good.
774
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,920
That's a corker.
775
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,920
Corker.
776
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,240
What you want for it ?
777
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,560
I'll give it to ye--
778
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,880
I'll give it to ye
for 50.
Thirty.
779
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,200
- Forty-five. Forty.
- Thirty.
- Take the fuckin' thirty.
780
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:13,960
Forty. It's
a lovely-looking wig.
781
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,240
Loan me a pound.
Will you
pay it back ?
782
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,000
Of course I'll pay it back.
I've a pound,
but I need it.
783
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:22,920
Give us
the fucking pound.
I need it.
784
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,360
What you need it for ?
I like a wee Mars bar
on the way home.
785
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,640
Fucking give us it.
Starvo.
I want it back.
786
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,120
You'll fucking get it back.
He'll give it back.
don't worry.
787
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,760
Here you go, chief.
788
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,080
You know, lads,
they were definitely
fucking kissing.
789
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,760
We forgot to give them
the sticky tape.
Drive on.
790
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,040
Okay, big boy.
791
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,880
Holes ?
792
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,120
There's friggin' holes in it.
793
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,520
I'll kill that bastard.
794
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:10,840
Oh, fuck, look at this.
795
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,640
Ah, Jesus.
796
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,840
It's a different
friggin' color.
797
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,000
I'll friggin'
cut his balls off.
798
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,680
Let us see it.
It's not ready yet, luv.
799
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,440
Where's that hair dye ?
800
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:33,280
- Are you ready ?
- No, not... Yet.
Go in the bedroom.
801
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,200
Blue black.
[ woman ] how long does it take
to put on an effin' wig ?
802
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:43,520
It's a complicated procedure,
darling. You just go on
and get into bed.
803
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,440
Get it all
nice and warmed up,
804
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:49,600
And I'll be right with you in--
in 25 minutes.
805
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,720
Hello.
Hello.
806
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:57,800
From pollymuck to arts--
807
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,320
Toupee or not toupee.
808
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,120
No. No.
[ chattering ]
809
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:07,320
[ man ]
what did you
say his name was ?
810
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,320
Colm.
811
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,280
Looks like one of them.
812
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,560
Oh, no, vicar.
813
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:18,560
He's as orange as that chair.
814
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:24,240
This hair may have grown
from a bad person.
815
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,160
Oh, Jesus, no, vicar.
816
00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:29,480
This is 100 percent
genuine, guaranteed
protestant hair.
817
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,360
Grown, no less,
by 100 percent
protestant Dutch people.
818
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,120
Are you sure ?
Sure.
Look at it yourself.
819
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,000
Does that look like
dirty, mangy, smelly
catholic monkey hair to you ?
820
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,160
That is a fine head
of protestant hair.
821
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,000
- It looks good.
- None but the best.
822
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,280
- Top of the line ?
- None finer.
823
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,760
And the synthetic hair
is cheaper ?
824
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,160
It is, yes.
But you get
what you pay for.
825
00:53:56,200 --> 00:54:00,520
I really would recommend
the natural hair myself.
Top of the line.
826
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,880
[ indistinct chattering ]
827
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,720
[ train whistle blowing ]
828
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:36,200
[ man ] this just in.
Another bombing attempt
has been made tonight...
829
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,440
On a stretch of railway track
two Miles east of kurgan.
830
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:43,680
Trains were delayed for an hour
while the army bomb squad
diffused the explosives.
831
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,800
There were no injuries.
The provisional I.R.A.
Are suspected,
832
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:49,760
Though no one
has claimed responsibility
at this stage.
833
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,120
Trains have resumed
a regular schedule.
834
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,200
The I.U.C. Have found
evidence on the scene...
835
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:58,240
Which they Hope
Will lead to the capture
of those involved.
836
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,520
And finally,
passing Christmas shoppers
got a treat today...
837
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:05,360
When Santa chose
an unusual mode of transport
to arrive in time.
838
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:07,800
Oh, Jesus !
839
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:09,840
You're all right.
840
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,200
Oh, Jesus !
You're all right.
Get them next time.
841
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,160
Was I bald
when I came in here ?
842
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,360
What ?
Was I bald
when I came in here ?
843
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,840
Was I wearing my--
844
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,280
Was I wearing my wig ?
845
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,240
Um... No.
846
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,280
Oh, Jesus !
What's wrong ?
847
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,800
I wore it on the job.
It must have came off
on the job.
848
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,000
The wig ?
Aye.
849
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,960
Will we go back and get it ?
850
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,760
We can't go back and get it.
The brats are already there,
ya dick.
851
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,480
Why didn't you
say something ?
Say what ?
852
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,440
You know
I wear the wig every day.
853
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,480
You know I never
leave the house without it.
Why didn't you--
854
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:57,600
Why didn't you
fucking tell me ?
I figured it was...
855
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,240
Laundry night or something.
856
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:08,080
Good morning.
Toupee or not toupee.
What is your question ?
857
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,560
They're sold
all over the world, sir.
All over the world.
858
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,480
[ man ]
my word of honor.
859
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,120
Why are they
selling more wigs ?
I don't know.
860
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,480
What is it about
toupee or not toupee ?
861
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,920
I don't know.
They're just selling
more wigs than us.
862
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:22,080
Do you want to win
this competition ?
Yes.
863
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,040
How do the sell them ?
What do you mean ?
864
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,320
What's their angle ?
Do they dress up
in chicken suits ?
865
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:30,200
You're making me nervous.
They talk a good sell,
I suppose.
866
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:32,560
Smooth-talking
bastards.
And you's are hopeless ?
867
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,160
We've done very well.
Yes, I know you have, dear.
868
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:37,320
It's all been
an enlightening experience.
869
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,240
But you'll get beat
in this competition thing...
870
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:42,360
If we don't start
selling more wigs pronto.
I know that.
871
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,360
Right. You've
ten days to the cutoff.
It's time to knuckle down.
872
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,480
I have an idea.
God help us.
873
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,880
An angle.
A scheme.
Go ahead.
874
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,440
What sort of scheme ?
A sure-fine scheme.
875
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,360
Now go in there,
stop your blathering,
sit down and shut up.
876
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:01,560
[ Bronagh ]
you're making the pitch,
the two of you's.
877
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,600
And you're close.
You can taste it.
I know that feeling.
878
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,560
Right.
And you've
said all the crap.
879
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:09,200
All the crap you say.
But he still won't bite.
He won't commit.
880
00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:11,160
I know what you're saying.
You're losing him.
881
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:13,080
He wants it.
But his wife
Will blow a curler.
882
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,280
- The henpecked fucker.
- This is where we blow it.
883
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:18,800
The moment of truth.
You're standing there.
It's time for something drastic.
884
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,680
It's time for the big guns.
885
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,920
You's pull out the big guns.
886
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,000
You's are bald.
887
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,960
- We're what ?
- You's are bald.
888
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:40,240
[ Bronagh ]
you's both wearing wigs.
You tip your wigs.
889
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:41,920
Mine's itching.
Are they supposed to itch ?
890
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,080
[ Bronagh ]
we'll shave the top
of your heads like a monk,
891
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,920
And then
we'll fit two cracker,
top-of-the-line wigs.
892
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,840
- [ Bronagh ] how do you
like them apples ?
- What are you looking at ?
893
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,560
- There's nothing
wrong with it.
- You're the sample.
894
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:02,240
You are
the satisfied customer.
He won't have an idea.
895
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,440
Wig... No wig.
Wig... No wig.
896
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,840
If you can con him
and he doesn't realize
you're wearing a wig,
897
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,920
He'll have to buy one.
898
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,000
[ man on radio ]
have located hairpiece salesmen
pulling up to...
899
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,480
Paddy Reilly butcher shop
on beach mount crescent.
900
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:24,120
[ man #2 on radio ]
affirmative. Ground units
will handle it and arrest.
901
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,520
[ Bronagh ]
you say to the customer,
"I bid you a fond adieu."
902
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,160
And you reach up
and you tip your hats.
903
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,160
But they're not hats.
904
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,320
They're wigs.
905
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:38,160
You's both wearing wigs.
You tip your wigs.
906
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,040
I guarantee the fucker
Will be putty in your hands.
907
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:44,280
[ both ]
we bid you a fond adieu.
908
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,000
[ laughing ]
909
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,520
[ laughing continues ]
910
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,560
Let's go ! Come on !
911
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,160
Freeze !
[ yelling ]
912
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:07,040
[ chanting ]
913
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,480
[ chanting continues ]
914
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,280
[ man ]
last night,
we found this hairpiece...
915
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,920
In the vicinity
of the failed bomb attempt.
916
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:36,360
Have you seen it before ?
What can you tell me
about this wig ?
917
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,320
[ Colm ]
it's your basic Irish jig.
918
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,840
Your basic wig.
Did you fit it ?
919
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:44,080
Maybe.
But it's a stock model.
But you would recognize ?
920
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,040
Ah, it's your job.
You have an eye
for these things.
921
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:49,000
It would have to be
a perfect match.
Not necessarily.
922
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,960
- Do I know you ?
- No.
923
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:55,480
Color of the hair,
the dimension of the baldness,
whether it was curly or not.
924
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:57,520
Sometimes
it don't match.
What's that ?
925
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,120
- Sometimes we're in a rush.
- You won't put a curly-haired
wig on a straight-haired man.
926
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:04,080
We might.
If we could
get away with it.
927
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,760
If he's a cheapo--
then he gets
a cheapo deal.
928
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:10,160
- The cheapo wig.
- But he'd look the right heel.
929
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:14,240
That rhymed.
So it did.
930
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,840
This wig
has been chewed up by dogs.
Do you have a dog ?
931
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,280
No.
What about you ?
932
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:21,480
- I hate dogs.
- This wig
could have been changed.
933
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,520
Could have been dyed a different
color. Did you sell a similar
model of a different color ?
934
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,120
I don't think so.
Look, we're businessmen.
935
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,000
He's a protestant.
I'm a catholic. We're
not supplying sample wigs--
936
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,960
What ?
937
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,880
- Well, that's it.
- This is a sample wig ?
938
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:38,000
Uh, maybe.
You've never sold
a sample wig.
939
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,640
The sample wig
is not supposed to be sold.
940
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,840
- How many sample wigs
were you given ?
- [ both ] one.
941
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,080
Where is it now ?
Do you have it with you ?
942
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:51,960
Uh... I don't know
where it is right now.
We'd have to look for it.
943
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,200
Yes.
Well, that would be nice.
944
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,800
Now, what day is this ?
945
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:59,800
Christmas
just around the corner.
946
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:02,680
Father Christmas.
Presents.
947
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:05,560
And what
comes after Christmas ?
948
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:07,920
What ?
Taxes.
949
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:12,080
I'm going to give you
two weeks, jog the memory.
950
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,040
Dig up the old sample wig.
951
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:15,960
And if, at that point,
you still can't recall,
952
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,640
I'm going to insist
you give me every receipt,
every order form,
953
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:21,880
Every bank statement
and every phone Bill
since you two--
954
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:25,720
You two freaks
started your little business.
955
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:28,760
In the meantime,
I'm going to round up
every bald provie...
956
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,680
From Bangor
to San Francisco.
957
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,760
See if
I can't make a match.
Match it to his head.
958
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:37,160
Match it to the color of dye
in this wig.
959
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,400
See if I can't find
my little Cinderella.
960
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,120
I'm good at what I do,
gentlemen.
961
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,720
Operation glass slipper
will be a success.
962
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:20,840
[ sets briefcase down ]
963
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:26,960
I thought you told Bronagh
you didn't get the sample.
That a dog ate it.
964
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:30,720
I got it back
and threw it in the car.
It's a long story.
965
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:34,360
You're a bollocks, Colm.
How am I a bollocks ?
966
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,280
You shouldn't
have sold it to him.
967
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:39,760
I heard no complaints
at the time.
Why didn't you say something ?
968
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:41,880
Look,
there's no Trace of it.
969
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:43,800
It's a sample.
There's no order form
or anything.
970
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:47,200
They can't Trace it
back to us.
You should
have said something.
971
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,560
To who ?
You made me
sit in there like a dick.
972
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,720
Where ?
In there, with your man.
973
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:56,440
Why didn't you tell him ?
It's only a wig, George.
974
01:02:56,520 --> 01:03:00,000
A crime was committed.
What, selling a wig ?
975
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,680
After we sold it.
It's nothing
to do with us.
976
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:04,800
We lied.
We didn't lie.
977
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,960
You're after making me
an accomplice.
It's only
a fucking wig !
978
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:11,720
You don't think
I've got nothing better to do
than protect fucking--
979
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:23,960
[ vehicle approaching ]
980
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:41,800
- On or off, son ?
- Go on.
I'll get the next one.
981
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,800
[ man ]
operation glass slipper
will be a success.
982
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:02,520
- We will hunt them
where they live.
- Get out of the car, sir.
983
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:06,040
- We will hunt them
where they play.
- Okay, let's go.
984
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:09,480
[ man ]
we will sweep this province
with an iron fist.
985
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:13,240
We'll round up
every bald head,
every semi-bald head,
986
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,640
Every thinning head,
like when you're
racking pool balls.
987
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,880
We will unleash...
988
01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:21,400
A wrath on the bald
of this troubled land...
989
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,360
The likes of which
has not been seen...
990
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,920
Since that Guy
did them things
to the babies in the bible.
991
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:29,800
You know the guy...
With the beard.
992
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:31,960
[ scalper ]
Don't go by Calvary,
driver !
993
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,920
It's a one-way street.
Where are we ?
994
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,440
God's into you
for Sodom and Gomorrah.
995
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:41,720
Blessed
are the bewildered !
996
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:45,960
For they won't notice
the difference.
997
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:49,480
Even though
I walk in chains...
[ voice fading ]
998
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:58,240
- Where's my share of that
trucking money you owe me ?
- Uh, I gave it to Bo.
999
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,080
Did you see this ?
What's this ?
1000
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:03,920
It's a flier
for George's poetry reading.
1001
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,840
What poetry reading ?
1002
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:09,280
His poetry reading
tomorrow at the university.
It's a big deal.
1003
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,640
I'd rather
have my nipples fried.
1004
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:15,440
I love the blondie.
Love him.
1005
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,640
- Yee-haw !
- [ knock on door ]
1006
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,720
Ya-hoo ! Whoo-hoo !
1007
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:25,400
[ knocking continues ]
1008
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,360
I'll get it.
1009
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,480
- What street ? What street ?
- It's all right.
I know where I'm going.
1010
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:36,200
The I.R.A.'s at the door,
and they want Colm.
1011
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:38,400
- What have you done, son ?
- I've done nothing.
1012
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:42,240
- It's Milker McHugh.
- Is he collecting
for the milk ?
1013
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:46,200
- It's only Monday.
- No. He's in his I.R.A.
Mode tonight. He wants Colm.
1014
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,200
And there's
some other fellas.
1015
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:54,360
- Hey, Milker.
- I'm not fucking Milker.
1016
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,960
- You're wearing his jacket.
- I'm not fucking Milker.
1017
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:01,280
You're not the man
that brings the milk
and leaves it at this house ?
1018
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:04,280
- Must be
somebody fucking else.
- Okay.
1019
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,720
- Are you Colm O�Neill ?
- I am, yes.
1020
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:11,080
- Do you sell hairpieces ?
- Sure. You know
I sell hairpieces.
1021
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:14,320
- Do you sell hairpieces ?
- Aye.
1022
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:17,080
There's a man here
who wants a word or two.
1023
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:27,080
I ought
to kick you keek in.
Selling a man a faulty wig.
1024
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:30,600
Kick your keek in.
Thing was
all fucking holes.
1025
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:33,000
Friggin' chancer.
Listen, lads,
there's--
1026
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:37,520
Relax.
That's not why we're here.
We want to buy some wigs.
1027
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:41,600
- What ?
- You deaf ?
1028
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:45,080
- Friggin' glass slipper.
- We would like
to place an order.
1029
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,400
We want to buy
30 hairpieces.
1030
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:55,200
Those are the dimensions:
Width, length of baldness,
color of the hair,
1031
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:57,160
Whether the hair's
curly or not.
1032
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,320
[ general Lee horn
blowing "Dixie" ]
1033
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,520
Three Hollywoods,
1034
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,480
A Phoenix,
1035
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,800
Three synthetic Casanovas,
1036
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:13,640
Two European Casanovas,
a ladies man,
1037
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:17,360
Sixteen Starks�s
and one hutch.
1038
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,960
Your man will take a Phoenix
if you're out of hutch's.
1039
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:21,960
Do ya's carry
the Kenny Roger gray ?
1040
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:26,600
- Yes.
- We want a Kenny nylon
and a Kenny yak.
1041
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:30,320
If you can't get the yak,
get us two Kenny nylons.
1042
01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:32,360
The man wants a Kenny.
1043
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:34,880
Don't lose that.
1044
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:37,280
Thirty hairpieces.
1045
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:41,680
- Uh, I don't know.
- What don't you know ?
1046
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:43,680
Well, I don't know
about an order this big.
1047
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:46,480
- Why ?
- Well, it's a big order.
1048
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:48,800
Well, when will you know ?
Tomorrow ?
1049
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:52,360
Aye. Aye. Sure.
I'll-- aye, tomorrow.
1050
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:54,280
You have till
tomorrow night then.
1051
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:56,160
Is there
a Kentucky fried chicken
around here ?
1052
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:59,520
No. There's, uh,
a Dixieland chicken.
1053
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,480
Dixie--
where's that ?
1054
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,880
Well, it's just
up on the road, um,
down from the cemetery.
1055
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:08,240
Right.
Tomorrow night. 8:00.
Dixieland chicken...
1056
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:10,840
By the cemetery.
1057
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,960
Fuck sake !
Wise up, Will ya ?
1058
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,320
Ya-hoo !
[ laughing ]
1059
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,080
Well, Colm,
what did they want ?
1060
01:08:37,160 --> 01:08:39,280
Are you in trouble, son ?
1061
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,520
[ Gerty ] Colm,
what have you done now ?
1062
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:43,400
Are they
going to kneecap you ?
1063
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,440
They want to buy
some hairpieces.
1064
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,240
[ camera shutter clicking ]
1065
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:21,360
We sell 30 wigs
to the I.R.A.,
we win this thing.
1066
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,480
You know, 30 hairpieces ?
1067
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:27,960
There's no way
toupee or not toupee at
30 hairpieces in front of us.
1068
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:36,120
[ Colm ] I.R.A., not I.R.A.
They're just bald people.
There's no difference.
1069
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,720
[ Colm ]
we'll beat
toupee or not toupee.
1070
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,000
We'll win the franchise.
1071
01:09:57,080 --> 01:09:58,960
It's just
selling to people.
1072
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,960
[ Colm ]
it's not like we're
selling them guns or something.
1073
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:07,000
What's the difference.
1074
01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:12,280
(music) [ indistinct ]
1075
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:20,240
[ man ] okay. Thank you.
You're good to go.
Carry on, then.
1076
01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:26,440
(music) we had guns and drums
and drums and guns
haroo haroo (music)
1077
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:30,680
(music) we had guns and drums
and drums and guns
haroo haroo (music)
1078
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:32,800
(music) we had guns and drums
and drums and guns (music)
1079
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,720
(music) the enemy nearly slew ya (music)
1080
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:38,360
(music) [ music fades ]
1081
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,240
You're not going
to the poetry thing,
are you ?
1082
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,320
I don't think so.
1083
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,160
Are you
going to do it ?
1084
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:56,960
- Do what ?
- Sell wigs to the I.R.A. ?
1085
01:10:57,000 --> 01:10:59,000
Why not ?
1086
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:01,040
You're a dick, Colm.
1087
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:04,640
How am I a dick ?
George is your mate.
1088
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:08,440
So ?
So ? So that's
dirty-Joe'ing him.
1089
01:11:08,480 --> 01:11:11,600
Well, we'll
win the franchise.
Like he'd go along with it.
1090
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:15,080
Well, you know,
we've sold wigs
to the I.R.A. Before.
1091
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:16,960
Yes. Well,
that's not the same thing.
1092
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,960
It was
the middle of the night,
it was a sample wig...
1093
01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,960
And George
didn't have a choice.
You're a hypocrite.
1094
01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:23,760
It's different,
and you know it. How am I ?
You're-- you're a hypocrite.
1095
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,680
You buy your fags
from the wee shop.
That's different.
1096
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,240
- They're I.R.A.
How's it different ?
- It's different.
1097
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:31,240
- The milkman, he's I.R.A.
- That's when they're off,
off duty.
1098
01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:33,120
Off duty ?
They're never off duty.
1099
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:36,920
Them wigs is I.R.A. Money.
The others
is out of their pockets.
1100
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,360
Ah, come on.
That's the same thing.
That's a technicality.
1101
01:11:39,440 --> 01:11:42,160
George would not
go along with that.
1102
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:45,120
Will he be able to cry better
in his swimming pool
if we win this thing ?
1103
01:11:45,160 --> 01:11:48,640
He backed you with the sample.
He didn't squeal on you.
He made a gesture.
1104
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:50,560
- You're a hypocrite.
- You're a hypocrite
and a dick.
1105
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:52,480
You know what.
There's two types of catholics:
1106
01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:54,400
The ones
that support the RA
and the ones that make excuses.
1107
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,600
They've all got
a different excuse.
Fair fuckin' play to you.
1108
01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:58,600
Support the I.R.A.,
give them your money,
1109
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,480
Let them hide
in your fucking roof space.
1110
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:04,200
But George is your mate.
You don't shit
where you eat.
1111
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:06,360
You can't have it
both ways.
1112
01:12:07,720 --> 01:12:10,560
You're a dick, Colm.
You're a hypocrite.
You're a Brit.
1113
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:12,720
Get out !
Out of the car, Brit !
1114
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:15,600
Well, you can't have it
both ways, Colm.
1115
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:18,080
Get out !
Out of the car, Brit !
Brits out !
1116
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:22,360
It's my car, Colm.
1117
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:28,280
It's my car.
1118
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:33,080
Okay.
1119
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,800
[ Bronagh ]
you're a dick, Colm !
1120
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:20,120
For fuck's sake.
1121
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:30,280
This place is as good
as Kentucky fried chicken,
is it ?
1122
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:32,440
Aye.
1123
01:13:41,680 --> 01:13:43,920
Welcome to Dixieland chicken.
Would you like to order ?
1124
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:50,400
So, when can we
get these wigs ?
1125
01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:52,320
Can I have more time ?
1126
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:55,160
No.
I need more time.
1127
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:57,320
What,
to order some wigs ?
1128
01:13:57,360 --> 01:13:59,520
My partner's protestant.
1129
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:02,560
Did you tell him ?
Lucky you.
No.
1130
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:04,640
But he wouldn't
be into it if I did.
1131
01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:07,880
There you go, mate.
Cheers. Thank you.
1132
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:14,440
Grub's up.
1133
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:18,680
Where's my change ?
1134
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:34,600
It's not as good
as colonel sanders.
God bless the colonel.
1135
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:37,720
It's not as good.
Nah.
1136
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,560
Do you like breast, Colm ?
1137
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:44,240
Why, sure.
Fuck, now that's
actually tasty.
1138
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:48,480
Nowhere near as good
as the colonel's
secret recipe though.
1139
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:52,600
With 21 spices.
11.
11.
1140
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:57,320
Do you know, in the--
in the Kentucky fried chicken
headquarters,
1141
01:14:57,360 --> 01:15:00,400
The Kentucky fried chicken
headquarters in Louisiana,
1142
01:15:00,480 --> 01:15:02,840
Or wherever
the fuck Kentucky is,
1143
01:15:02,920 --> 01:15:06,880
They've got round-the-clock
security guarding that recipe
with their fucking lives.
1144
01:15:06,960 --> 01:15:09,600
Like the coke recipe.
Top secret.
1145
01:15:09,680 --> 01:15:12,520
Anyone tries
to knock that recipe, bang !
1146
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:14,720
Colm here
needs more time.
1147
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,720
Why ?
He's not sure.
1148
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,360
He's tentative ?
He is tentative.
1149
01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:23,560
He needs time
to arrange our capture
with the armed forces.
1150
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:28,000
I wouldn't do that.
This protestant fella,
who is he ?
1151
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:30,040
[ clears throat ]
he's my partner.
1152
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:32,000
Is he your boss ?
No.
1153
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:33,880
Is he the one
does all the thinking ?
Nope.
1154
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:36,000
Are you
your own man or what ?
I am my own man.
1155
01:15:36,080 --> 01:15:39,120
I just need to think
things out a bit, you know ?
1156
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,160
Are you
too good for us ?
1157
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:43,800
Listen, uh...
1158
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:48,160
I'll sell you
the wigs individually.
You know, one at a time.
1159
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:50,320
He's a Brit.
I'm not a Brit.
1160
01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:52,400
- You're a Brit.
- I'm not a Brit.
1161
01:15:52,440 --> 01:15:55,840
Do you believe
in the united Ireland ?
I do believe.
1162
01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:59,240
I just don't want to be
the official wig supplier
for the Irish republican army.
1163
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:01,520
Keep your fucking voice down.
I'm sorry.
My partner's a protestant.
1164
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:04,800
- I guess we know
what side you're on.
- You don't know.
1165
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:08,080
I told you.
I'll sell you the wigs
individually, as just people.
1166
01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:11,520
That's it.
Not to an army.
Just as people.
1167
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:14,920
Don't tell me
you know what side I'm on.
You know nothing about me.
1168
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,480
I'm just trying
to fucking survive here.
1169
01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:23,120
That's very good that.
1170
01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:26,400
Very, uh...
Very dramatic.
1171
01:16:26,480 --> 01:16:28,280
You should
get an Oscar for that.
1172
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:31,600
You know what, son ?
What ?
1173
01:16:31,640 --> 01:16:34,160
Take down
that number there, you.
1174
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,040
You're not the only
game in town, you know ?
1175
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:41,720
We just want some wigs.
Not a political dissertation.
1176
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:44,200
We'll go to them fellas.
See them fellas.
1177
01:16:44,280 --> 01:16:46,520
See if they
want to take our money.
1178
01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:50,120
Trying to survive.
You're a fruit.
1179
01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:59,720
Do you think
we're doing this for fun ?
1180
01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:04,400
For a bit
of a fucking laugh ?
I want more than that.
1181
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:06,640
More than what ?
1182
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:10,160
I want more
than to just survive.
1183
01:17:13,760 --> 01:17:15,800
Come on.
We'll call that number.
1184
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,600
[ man ]
take me back.
1185
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:45,720
Take me
way, way, way back...
1186
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:51,120
On Hanford street,
1187
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:53,960
Where you could
feel the silence
at half past 11:00...
1188
01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,320
On long Summer nights...
1189
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:59,840
As the wireless
played radio Luxembourg...
1190
01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:02,600
And the voices whispered
across beech River...
1191
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:10,160
In the quietness as we sank
into restful slumber
in the silence...
1192
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,280
And carried on
dreaming in God.
1193
01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:26,960
In walks up cherry valley
from Northroad Bridge,
1194
01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:30,480
View while lying
on sunny Summer afternoons.
1195
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:32,920
Picking apples
from the side of the tracks...
1196
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:37,320
That spilled over
from the gardens of the houses
on Cyprus Avenue.
1197
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:41,680
Watching the moth catcher
worked the floodlights
in the evenings...
1198
01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:44,280
And meeting
down by the pylons.
1199
01:18:46,440 --> 01:18:48,600
Playing around
Mrs. Kelly's lamp.
1200
01:18:48,680 --> 01:18:50,800
Going out
to Hollywood on the bus...
1201
01:18:50,880 --> 01:18:54,440
And walking
from the end of the lines
to the seaside.
1202
01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:57,120
Stopping at Fuscos
for ice cream...
1203
01:18:57,160 --> 01:18:59,680
In the days
before rock 'n' roll.
1204
01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:08,920
Hanford street,
1205
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:12,000
A bed of red,
orange food,
1206
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:16,000
Saint donor�s church,
Sunday six bells.
1207
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:19,480
[ George speaking
indistinctly ]
1208
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:24,040
[ George ]
"...Through the ages.
1209
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:26,200
"some say our right.
1210
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:29,000
"some say ungrounded.
1211
01:19:30,400 --> 01:19:32,680
"what have we found ?
1212
01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:36,160
"or is it
what have we founded ?
1213
01:19:37,040 --> 01:19:39,520
The weakness to speak ?"
1214
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:42,160
I'm not doing the deal.
1215
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:47,320
I'm not wearing
any knickers.
1216
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:52,280
[ George ]
"is something even there...
1217
01:19:52,360 --> 01:19:54,600
"to split or to share...
[ mumbles ]
1218
01:19:54,680 --> 01:19:56,720
"to shift the foundation...
1219
01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:59,320
"to stand me in good fare...
1220
01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:03,120
"or to shake
the sensation...
1221
01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:05,320
"of fear ?
1222
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:10,160
"just of f-f-fear.
1223
01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:12,400
"or if friendship...
1224
01:20:12,480 --> 01:20:15,240
"that will
never be silenced...
1225
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:19,120
"is a paramount peak
at good favor.
1226
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,240
"here's my heart.
1227
01:20:22,320 --> 01:20:24,840
"here's my sleeve.
1228
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:27,840
"here's my soul
to believe.
1229
01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,440
"it's enough
for us to speak...
1230
01:20:31,480 --> 01:20:34,560
Around the savior."
1231
01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:45,360
[ woman ]
thank you.
Thank you very much.
1232
01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:48,240
I'd just like to remind you
that we're going to--
[ voice trailing off ]
1233
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:53,280
That was lovely.
[ laughs ]
1234
01:20:55,840 --> 01:20:58,160
- Anyone for a drink ?
- Have a drink ?
1235
01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:02,680
[ laughing ]
come on.
1236
01:21:07,440 --> 01:21:09,360
How many wigs
are we behind ?
1237
01:21:09,400 --> 01:21:12,160
I don't know,
but at least 30.
1238
01:21:12,240 --> 01:21:14,120
Thirty ?
1239
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:17,240
Well, let's say 45
to be on the safe side.
1240
01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:19,680
You've got four days
until Christmas.
1241
01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:23,400
I guess that's the end
of The Piece People.
It ain't looking good.
1242
01:21:23,440 --> 01:21:27,640
[ Bronagh ] well, let's
get our thinking caps on
and start thinking then.
1243
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:33,320
Think of a large
group of people
who are all bald.
1244
01:21:33,360 --> 01:21:37,320
I'm so stupid.
Listen, I got a mate
from school. He's a chemist.
1245
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:39,280
We could get him
to make us up a batch
of some shit...
1246
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,200
That, like,
makes your hair fall out.
1247
01:21:41,240 --> 01:21:43,120
We could dump it
in the drinking water.
1248
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:46,840
- Two pints of lager
and a pint of Guinness.
- Dump it in the reservoir.
1249
01:21:46,920 --> 01:21:49,440
There must be
some large group of people
who are all bald.
1250
01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:51,440
There must be.
1251
01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:53,480
Cancer victims.
1252
01:21:55,520 --> 01:21:59,080
People with cancer.
You're
a sick fuck, Colm.
1253
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:01,200
They need the wigs
with the chemo.
1254
01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:05,160
Or how about people
that live near
nuclear power plants ?
1255
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:07,920
You're a sick fuck.
Something simple.
1256
01:22:08,920 --> 01:22:11,160
Chemo.
Frig sake.
1257
01:22:14,400 --> 01:22:16,680
Hey, George,
here's to you.
Cheers.
1258
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:19,160
That's mine.
Oh, sorry.
Keep the change.
1259
01:22:19,240 --> 01:22:21,400
[ laughing ]
cheers, guys.
Well done.
1260
01:22:21,440 --> 01:22:23,560
Great poem.
Oh, thanks.
1261
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:26,600
Mm. What's
that thing called ?
1262
01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:29,920
You know,
when people have stress
and all the hair falls out ?
1263
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,200
It's, um--
it's apecia or something.
1264
01:22:32,280 --> 01:22:34,680
I heard of that.
It's apecia or deplecia.
1265
01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:37,960
But your hair falls out ?
Mm. 'cause of stress.
1266
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:41,160
What, the people pull it out
because of the stress ?
It falls out.
1267
01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:43,200
No, they don't--
they don't pull it out.
It falls out. Exactly.
1268
01:22:43,280 --> 01:22:46,840
Let's take a seat.
It's either apecia
or deplecia.
1269
01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:49,360
I saw a show
on that once.
What, on apecia ?
1270
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:51,400
Must be
a lot of it here.
1271
01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:54,400
Applepecia.
1272
01:22:54,480 --> 01:22:58,080
No. It's not applepecia.
That doesn't sound right.
1273
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:01,880
But your hair
definitely falls out,
like in clumps.
1274
01:23:01,960 --> 01:23:05,800
Clumps. I'm liking
the sound of that. Clumps.
1275
01:23:05,880 --> 01:23:08,080
Do you know anybody
at the department of health ?
1276
01:23:08,120 --> 01:23:09,960
What,
like a government thing ?
1277
01:23:10,040 --> 01:23:12,600
Aye. Can you
get at any records ?
Talk your way in ?
1278
01:23:14,520 --> 01:23:16,920
Is the pope catholic ?
1279
01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:05,040
Help me, God.
1280
01:24:06,040 --> 01:24:08,000
Send me a sign.
1281
01:24:08,880 --> 01:24:11,480
Send me my Cinderella.
1282
01:24:14,520 --> 01:24:17,120
Give me a sign.
1283
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:35,200
Oh, my God !
1284
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:18,680
[ ticking ]
[ Colm ] so what's
going to happen at 4:00 ?
1285
01:25:18,760 --> 01:25:23,800
At 4:00, the phone's
going to ring.
I Hope.
1286
01:25:23,880 --> 01:25:26,960
[ Colm ]
who's going to ring ?
1287
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:30,040
Never you mind.
But if it comes through,
we're golden.
1288
01:25:30,120 --> 01:25:33,320
It's a sure-fine scheme.
[ sighs ]
1289
01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:35,960
[ clock cuckoos ]
1290
01:25:50,120 --> 01:25:53,960
[ rings ]
1291
01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:07,920
What the fuck's this ?
Pay dirt.
1292
01:26:13,880 --> 01:26:17,160
Name ?
Bronagh McGee.
1293
01:26:18,120 --> 01:26:21,640
You, sir ?
George Enuk post.
1294
01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:24,080
Sir ?
O�Neill.
1295
01:26:24,160 --> 01:26:26,240
Christian name, sir ?
Colm.
1296
01:26:33,120 --> 01:26:37,800
Alopecia.
[ man ] okay, sergeant.
Open the gate.
1297
01:26:37,840 --> 01:26:41,680
Hair loss
caused by extreme stress.
1298
01:26:42,640 --> 01:26:44,960
[ man ] drive on.
1299
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,480
[ chattering ]
1300
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:55,880
[ Bronagh ]
it's been kept
on the hush-hush.
1301
01:26:55,960 --> 01:26:58,680
The brats are experiencing
a bit of hair loss.
Most of them are just kids.
1302
01:26:58,760 --> 01:27:00,560
They're shiteing themselves.
The pressures too much.
1303
01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:02,480
Their hair's
falling out in clumps.
1304
01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:05,440
Most of them
are just kids.
1305
01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:08,640
Those in the bomb squad
seem to be losing
the most hair.
1306
01:27:13,640 --> 01:27:17,440
[ shouting commands ]
1307
01:27:39,480 --> 01:27:41,720
[ Bronagh ]
Colm.
1308
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:44,400
We have to sign
a confidentiality clause.
1309
01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:46,560
They don't want this
getting leaked to the public.
1310
01:27:46,640 --> 01:27:48,800
It wouldn't look
very good, would it ?
1311
01:27:48,880 --> 01:27:50,720
Why isn't all our hair
falling out ?
1312
01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:52,920
Well, I suppose
we're used to it.
1313
01:28:15,120 --> 01:28:18,920
They've bussed them in
from all over northern Ireland.
1314
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,920
Wait here a minute, okay ?
1315
01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:35,640
Colonel.
Nice to meet you.
Bronagh. Hello.
1316
01:28:35,720 --> 01:28:40,080
It's a very simple procedure.
It's basically myself
and George and Colm over here.
1317
01:28:40,120 --> 01:28:42,720
And, um,
I think it best if we--
1318
01:28:42,800 --> 01:28:45,560
Is this all right ?
1319
01:28:46,600 --> 01:28:48,960
What ?
1320
01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:51,360
You not got
a problem with this ?
1321
01:28:51,440 --> 01:28:54,440
With what ?
1322
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:57,280
Selling wigs to the brats.
1323
01:28:57,360 --> 01:28:59,320
No.
1324
01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:03,920
It's a gesture.
What do you mean ?
1325
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:08,240
If you sold wigs to them,
that would be wrong.
1326
01:29:08,280 --> 01:29:12,040
If I say okay,
it's a gesture.
1327
01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:16,040
I don't understand.
1328
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:21,200
You see,
I can make a gesture...
1329
01:29:21,240 --> 01:29:26,000
Because the only way
to stop the cycle...
1330
01:29:26,040 --> 01:29:28,400
Is if I,
a catholic,
1331
01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:32,120
Can forgive...
1332
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:35,240
That you're a protestant.
1333
01:29:36,880 --> 01:29:39,960
It's a gesture.
Why not me, a protestant ?
1334
01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:43,800
I'm having epiphany.
1335
01:29:43,880 --> 01:29:46,600
You can't make a gesture,
but I can make a gesture.
1336
01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:49,880
I can reciprocate.
No.
After, but not first.
1337
01:29:49,920 --> 01:29:51,840
Why can't I ?
1338
01:29:51,920 --> 01:29:54,840
At this point, you
can't make the gesture. Only
a catholic can make the gesture.
1339
01:29:54,880 --> 01:29:56,720
Why can only a catholic
make the gesture ?
1340
01:29:56,800 --> 01:29:58,760
Because we're in the right
and you're in the wrong.
What ?
1341
01:29:58,840 --> 01:30:01,840
And therefore,
I'm making the gesture.
You're right and we're wrong ?
1342
01:30:01,920 --> 01:30:03,760
Correct.
I think
it's a tad grayer than that.
1343
01:30:03,840 --> 01:30:05,680
It's black and white.
I'm making the gesture.
1344
01:30:05,760 --> 01:30:08,640
What if I said I was right
and you were wrong ?
You'd be fucking wrong.
1345
01:30:10,400 --> 01:30:13,280
Six hundred years here,
and we're still wrong.
1346
01:30:13,360 --> 01:30:15,520
Give or take a century, aye.
1347
01:30:15,560 --> 01:30:17,560
I think I'm going to have
to disagree with you there,
Colm.
1348
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:19,960
Don't ruin this, George.
Ruin what ?
1349
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:22,400
Don't ruin the gesture.
Let me sell the wigs
to these lads.
1350
01:30:22,480 --> 01:30:26,960
That's okay with me.
Under one condition.
What ?
1351
01:30:28,560 --> 01:30:30,560
You let me
charge them double.
1352
01:30:31,600 --> 01:30:33,760
It's a government contract.
1353
01:30:40,320 --> 01:30:44,960
His name was Colm,
the hairdressing man.
1354
01:30:45,040 --> 01:30:47,040
His mind
was as closed as a door--
1355
01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,760
Don't ruin the gesture,
George.
1356
01:30:51,240 --> 01:30:54,120
Group, room-tion !
1357
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:57,440
Fall in !
1358
01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:14,320
[ man ]
Simmons ! Mitchell !
Sir !
1359
01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:25,560
[ man ]
daly ! Jennings !
Sir !
1360
01:31:26,680 --> 01:31:29,760
He's 6 1/2
from the, uh, ear to ear.
1361
01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:33,760
Your name ?
1362
01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:10,040
[ George ]
yee-ha-ha-ha !
We won ! We won !
1363
01:32:10,120 --> 01:32:12,760
[ chattering indistinct ]
1364
01:32:12,840 --> 01:32:16,480
[ laughing ]
yahoo !
1365
01:32:22,280 --> 01:32:25,960
[ Bronagh ]
we properly beat those fuckers.
We fucking won !
1366
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:28,680
Whoo-hoo ! Yahoo !
1367
01:32:28,760 --> 01:32:32,160
[ laughs ]
great volumes of glory,
do you know that ?
1368
01:32:32,200 --> 01:32:34,120
[ chattering ]
1369
01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:36,040
Shots.
Ready ? Shots.
1370
01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:38,880
Aye.
Right. Colm, here.
One, two, three !
1371
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:40,800
To piece people !
Piece people !
1372
01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:43,400
Piece people ! Ahh !
Ohh !
1373
01:33:02,280 --> 01:33:04,960
Number one.
Number one in Ulster.
1374
01:33:05,960 --> 01:33:07,920
What ?
1375
01:33:10,280 --> 01:33:13,240
What ?
What ?
1376
01:33:22,040 --> 01:33:25,000
Yes ! Yes !
1377
01:39:06,560 --> 01:39:08,400
{{{the end}}}
110207
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