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Dean Martin's
"That's Amore" plays...
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00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:20,505
♪ When the moon
hits your eye ♪
3
00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:24,276
♪ Like a big pizza pie,
that's amore ♪
4
00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,889
♪ When the world
seems to shine ♪
5
00:00:29,974 --> 00:00:32,154
♪ Like you've had
too much wine ♪
6
00:00:32,239 --> 00:00:33,903
♪ That's amore
7
00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:37,747
♪ Bells will ring
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00:00:37,748 --> 00:00:38,947
♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling
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00:00:39,032 --> 00:00:41,236
♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling
and you'll sing ♪
10
00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:44,262
♪ Vita bella
11
00:00:46,469 --> 00:00:48,751
♪ Hearts will play
tippy-tippy-tay ♪
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00:00:48,836 --> 00:00:52,696
♪ Tippy-tippy-tay
like a gay tarantella ♪
13
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,876
♪ When the stars
make you drool... ♪
14
00:00:57,961 --> 00:01:00,024
- Timothy!
- Come wash up for supper.
15
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,759
Your father will be home
soon.
16
00:01:01,898 --> 00:01:03,368
In a minute, Mom!
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00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:11,336
♪ With a cloud at your feet,
you're in love ♪
18
00:01:15,686 --> 00:01:18,188
Mama! Dust devils!
19
00:01:18,739 --> 00:01:20,970
- ♪ Bells will ring
- ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling
20
00:01:21,055 --> 00:01:23,269
- ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling
- ♪ And you'll sing
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00:01:23,361 --> 00:01:24,829
♪ Vita bella
22
00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:27,649
♪ Vita bella
vita bella
23
00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:29,535
♪ Hearts will play
♪ Tippytippy-tay
24
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,143
♪ Tippy-tippy-tay
25
00:01:31,228 --> 00:01:33,679
♪ Like a gay tarantella
26
00:01:37,337 --> 00:01:39,680
♪ When the...
27
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,869
♪ When you walk...
28
00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,257
Timmy.
29
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,790
Timmy! Timmy!
30
00:02:20,718 --> 00:02:21,718
Timmy!
31
00:02:23,814 --> 00:02:25,188
Timmy!
32
00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:39,798
Mommy?
Please don't be afraid.
33
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,430
Timmy!
Oh, my God, where are you?
34
00:02:46,993 --> 00:02:48,025
Timmy?
35
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,867
Mommy,
please don't be afraid.
36
00:02:53,688 --> 00:02:56,336
Take my hand, Mommy.
37
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:58,313
You don't have to be afraid.
38
00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:25,172
Oh, honey, I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse.
39
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,094
Maria?
40
00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:35,695
Maria?
41
00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:42,771
Maria.
42
00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:06,651
*AMERICAN HORROR STORY*
Season 10 Episode 07
43
00:05:06,735 --> 00:05:09,834
Episode Title: "Take Me To Your Leader"
Aired on: September 29, 2021.
44
00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,950
Sync corrections by srjanapala
45
00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,561
You're awful quiet today,
Mr. President.
46
00:05:19,255 --> 00:05:20,647
Oh, come on, guys.
47
00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,428
And for the umpteenth time,
48
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,192
Ike.
49
00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:31,928
Came here to be with friends,
not subordinates.
50
00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:34,453
Right, and you're
supposed to be relaxing, Ike.
51
00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:37,631
So what is it?
Korea? McCarthy?
52
00:05:37,748 --> 00:05:39,523
Mamie won't let you
eat off TV trays?
53
00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:44,686
No, it's just
a little question I have.
54
00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:50,623
So why is it I can land
150,000 soldiers in Normandy...
55
00:05:55,178 --> 00:05:57,610
But I can't put one lousy ball
in one lousy hole?
56
00:05:57,694 --> 00:05:59,322
I'd give anything
for that answer.
57
00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:00,453
Mm.
58
00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:02,147
And they say you're not
a deep thinker.
59
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,516
Ah, they're probably right.
60
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:05,585
Uh-oh.
61
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,014
Looks like you're
"Mr. President" again.
62
00:06:15,037 --> 00:06:16,493
We need to speak,
Mr. President.
63
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:17,889
It's urgent.
64
00:06:21,478 --> 00:06:22,631
Excuse me, fellas.
65
00:06:27,223 --> 00:06:29,983
There's been an incursion
into U.S. airspace.
66
00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:32,093
Vehicle was shot down
by an interceptor
67
00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:34,076
just north of
Edwards Air Force base.
68
00:06:35,263 --> 00:06:36,481
Was it the Russians?
69
00:06:37,342 --> 00:06:38,592
We don't think so, sir.
70
00:06:43,308 --> 00:06:44,759
Then excuse me, fellas.
71
00:06:50,842 --> 00:06:52,155
Ugh, I'm telling you.
72
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:55,459
Bet it was the duck that
they served from the hunt.
73
00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:57,562
Bit into some buckshot
and cracked a tooth.
74
00:06:57,647 --> 00:06:59,171
That was two nights ago.
75
00:06:59,584 --> 00:07:01,303
Why is this the first
I'm hearing about it?
76
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,437
Well, I didn't want to, uh,
77
00:07:03,522 --> 00:07:05,616
spoil the dinner and worry you.
78
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,131
There's a doctor at the base.
79
00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:08,381
I'm sure he can
put a cap on it.
80
00:07:08,465 --> 00:07:10,390
So you're driving
to an air force base
81
00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:11,445
to see a dentist.
82
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,421
If I go into...
If I go into town
83
00:07:13,506 --> 00:07:14,789
for any kind
of medical procedure,
84
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:15,601
it'll set off the press,
85
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:16,743
and you know
how those boys are.
86
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,779
What's going on, Ike?
87
00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:23,061
Who are you going to see?
88
00:07:24,647 --> 00:07:25,886
Now, don't look at me as if
89
00:07:25,971 --> 00:07:27,889
I have no right
to ask you that.
90
00:07:28,893 --> 00:07:30,609
We both know not all
of your secrets
91
00:07:30,694 --> 00:07:32,676
have to do
with national security.
92
00:07:34,411 --> 00:07:36,397
I'm just gonna
go see a man with a drill.
93
00:07:37,117 --> 00:07:38,117
That's all.
94
00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:42,882
One year in office,
and you still can't lie
95
00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,162
to save your life.
96
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:48,561
I suppose I should be
proud of you.
97
00:07:52,232 --> 00:07:53,459
I'll see you tomorrow.
98
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:16,738
We still
can't identify the vehicle.
99
00:08:16,823 --> 00:08:19,116
It's not one of ours,
that much we know.
100
00:08:19,861 --> 00:08:21,796
We have managed
to locate a body.
101
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:22,976
A body?
102
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,523
Was pretty messed up
in the crash.
103
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,279
Can't tell what it is.
104
00:08:26,389 --> 00:08:27,409
Sir, if I may,
105
00:08:27,494 --> 00:08:29,496
there's still a concern
about radiation.
106
00:08:34,558 --> 00:08:36,159
Mother of God.
107
00:08:51,351 --> 00:08:52,885
Show me.
108
00:08:58,728 --> 00:09:00,019
Looks like a child.
109
00:09:02,686 --> 00:09:03,941
Get it back to the base.
110
00:09:07,861 --> 00:09:09,316
Is this site secure?
111
00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:11,362
Nothing's getting in or out.
112
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:13,645
We have two King 40s
on their way from Edwards
113
00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,270
to haul this thing away.
114
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,073
Well, we can safely say
it's not the Russians
115
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:36,308
or the Chinese
or the Boy Scouts of America.
116
00:09:36,456 --> 00:09:37,706
No, sir.
117
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,175
And now we have ourselves
a new question.
118
00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:43,755
Why?
119
00:09:44,253 --> 00:09:45,542
Why is it here?
120
00:09:48,512 --> 00:09:49,722
Sir!
121
00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:51,395
You need to see this!
122
00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:12,817
It's okay.
123
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,393
It's... it's okay.
124
00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:16,620
It's okay.
We're here to help.
125
00:10:21,211 --> 00:10:22,212
Who are you?
126
00:10:24,848 --> 00:10:26,328
Can you tell me your name?
127
00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:29,029
My name...
128
00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:32,889
is Amelia.
129
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,742
Amelia?
130
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:38,879
Amelia Earhart.
131
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:51,405
Our plane was approaching
Howland Island.
132
00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:53,626
We were having trouble
with our RDF.
133
00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:55,672
We couldn't get a signal.
It was very weak.
134
00:10:56,617 --> 00:10:58,312
I told Fred we must have
blown a fuse,
135
00:10:58,397 --> 00:11:01,078
but he said it was working, so.
136
00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:03,734
Keep going, Amelia.
It's important.
137
00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:08,507
We maintained our heading,
138
00:11:08,592 --> 00:11:11,766
but... Howland Island,
it just wasn't there.
139
00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,609
There was just ocean.
140
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,383
We couldn't understand it.
141
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:18,539
And then all our instruments,
they went...
142
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:21,074
They went crazy.
143
00:11:21,726 --> 00:11:23,656
All of the dials,
they were just...
144
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,070
Just spinning.
145
00:11:26,155 --> 00:11:27,945
We couldn't make sense
of anything.
146
00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:30,859
We were going down.
147
00:11:31,601 --> 00:11:36,875
And then...
everything went white.
148
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,344
It was like we flew
into the sun.
149
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,338
And that's all.
150
00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,397
Well, that's all I remember.
151
00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:56,259
And those...
marks on your body,
152
00:11:56,344 --> 00:11:57,711
how did you get those?
153
00:12:02,745 --> 00:12:04,367
- Needles.
- Needles?
154
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,744
Needles.
I don't like needles.
155
00:12:05,829 --> 00:12:07,352
I don't trust them.
But they insisted.
156
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:09,992
They said
that it was important,
157
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,555
that it wouldn't hurt,
but it did.
158
00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:16,476
Sometimes they took my blood;
sometimes they...
159
00:12:18,523 --> 00:12:20,000
Put things inside me.
160
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,031
Who?
161
00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:24,945
Amelia, who did this to you?
162
00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:31,957
Where am I?
163
00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:36,171
You're in an American
air force base
164
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,407
in California,
Miss Earhart.
165
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,750
You're safe here.
166
00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:42,667
My name is Dwight Eisenhower,
167
00:12:42,752 --> 00:12:44,782
and I'm the President
of the United States.
168
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:47,180
- You're a liar.
- Franklin Roosevelt is president.
169
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,250
What am I doing here?
170
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,289
What am I doing here?
What's going on?
171
00:12:50,468 --> 00:12:51,805
Where's Fred?
172
00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:53,682
Where's Fred?
I want to talk to Fred.
173
00:12:53,766 --> 00:12:54,931
Please, I want to talk to him.
174
00:12:55,015 --> 00:12:57,067
Please, please,
I want to talk to Fred.
175
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,152
Fred!
176
00:13:00,742 --> 00:13:02,993
Fred! I want to talk to Fred!
177
00:13:03,087 --> 00:13:04,578
I want to talk to Fred!
178
00:13:04,663 --> 00:13:07,820
You're not Americans!
You're not American!
179
00:13:07,977 --> 00:13:09,562
Fred! You're not Americans!
180
00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:10,859
I'm fine, I'm fine.
181
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:17,437
No, get it away from me!
182
00:13:17,521 --> 00:13:19,605
Please, no more, no more!
183
00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:25,641
What'd you find out?
184
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,114
Miss Earhart's fingerprints
are still on file with the FBI,
185
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,950
but it's gonna take
at least a day
186
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,117
to get a comparison.
187
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,617
I think we both know
what the results will be.
188
00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:38,594
Sir, Amelia Earhart
disappeared in 1937.
189
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:40,734
Nearly 20 years ago.
190
00:13:41,122 --> 00:13:42,969
She'd be almost 60.
191
00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:47,345
Mamie used to keep
a photo of her in her office.
192
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,164
She worshipped the woman.
193
00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:51,915
I saw that photo
practically every day.
194
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,016
That...
that's Amelia Earhart.
195
00:13:55,422 --> 00:13:57,361
She's sedated, Mr. President.
196
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,727
Whatever she needs,
she gets.
197
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:03,031
Understood.
198
00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:04,899
Uh, there's something else,
sir.
199
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,611
While you were speaking to her,
we got back
200
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:08,461
a preliminary serum analysis.
201
00:14:09,038 --> 00:14:10,090
And?
202
00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:11,991
The patient, uh,
203
00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:14,156
she's two months pregnant.
204
00:14:15,743 --> 00:14:17,545
How's that even possible?
205
00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:22,516
Never mind.
206
00:14:23,305 --> 00:14:25,223
The body they recovered
from the crash site,
207
00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,922
have they started on it yet?
208
00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:28,452
They're about to, sir.
209
00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:47,101
Mr. President,
they're starting.
210
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,798
There's nothing here.
No internal organs at all.
211
00:15:25,882 --> 00:15:27,099
It's like some kind of shell.
212
00:15:27,183 --> 00:15:28,568
What does that mean?
213
00:15:28,772 --> 00:15:29,999
How can it be empty?
214
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,702
What was that?
215
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,476
Give me the lamp.
216
00:15:44,839 --> 00:15:46,008
Be careful, Tom.
217
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:53,969
Wait.
218
00:16:09,374 --> 00:16:10,766
Somebody get in here!
219
00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:13,391
Mr. President.
220
00:16:13,476 --> 00:16:15,288
Somebody get in there
and help that man!
221
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:24,121
Mr. President, I need you
to follow me.
222
00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:43,507
2021_09ó29
223
00:16:44,816 --> 00:16:45,817
Lower your weapons.
224
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,257
Whoever you are,
225
00:16:54,624 --> 00:16:56,117
wherever you come from,
226
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,342
I implore you...
227
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:02,450
Stop what you're doing.
228
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,143
Stop?
229
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,226
Whatever it is that you want,
230
00:17:07,104 --> 00:17:09,648
I'm sure we can come
to an understanding.
231
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,105
Reach an agreement.
232
00:17:13,189 --> 00:17:15,320
I have the power to do that.
233
00:17:15,732 --> 00:17:18,156
I'm the President
of the United States.
234
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,089
And this world,
it's been trying
235
00:17:20,174 --> 00:17:22,125
to destroy itself for as long
as I can remember,
236
00:17:22,288 --> 00:17:23,429
and we don't need
any more help,
237
00:17:23,513 --> 00:17:25,983
So, I'm asking you
238
00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:28,671
stop the killing
239
00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:32,100
and just listen to me.
240
00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,038
Mr. President,
241
00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:37,460
it is you
who will listen to us.
242
00:17:49,393 --> 00:17:51,593
Uh, do you have
Juyondai Ryusen?
243
00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:54,112
- Um, I don't think so.
- Is it on the menu?
244
00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:57,225
I don't see it, no,
but you probably wouldn't.
245
00:17:57,324 --> 00:17:58,640
It's super high end,
the kind of thing
246
00:17:58,724 --> 00:17:59,885
that would've
hidden in the back
247
00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:01,046
for those in the know.
248
00:18:01,131 --> 00:18:02,787
How about Niizawa Super 7?
249
00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:04,428
Not if it's not on the menu.
250
00:18:04,513 --> 00:18:05,648
Sorry.
251
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,570
I... I did a term in Japan
this year,
252
00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:10,229
and I, uh, got a little spoiled
with the sake.
253
00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:12,264
Just bring me a bottle
of Tatsuriki,
254
00:18:12,349 --> 00:18:13,852
but wait until
my friends arrive to serve it.
255
00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:15,280
I don't want it
losing its chill.
256
00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:28,819
There she is!
257
00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:35,311
God, you're so beautiful.
258
00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:37,905
- I've missed you.
- You look so good.
259
00:18:44,546 --> 00:18:46,819
Mm!
260
00:18:46,904 --> 00:18:50,234
- Hey! Where's Jamie?
- Parking the car.
261
00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:51,621
Oh, thank you.
262
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:01,980
Hi!
263
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:04,613
- Hi.
- You look beautiful.
264
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,589
God. Hi.
265
00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:10,089
- Hello.
- Yeah, well, thank you.
266
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,359
We did it.
267
00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:14,066
And what is this?
268
00:19:14,151 --> 00:19:16,332
It's not the best,
but it's the best they got.
269
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:17,763
Okay.
270
00:19:18,035 --> 00:19:19,432
- Thank you.
- To summer.
271
00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:20,917
- To summer.
- Cheers.
272
00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:22,002
Cheers.
273
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,770
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
274
00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:25,971
Guys.
275
00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:27,443
- It's so good to see you guys.
- Right?
276
00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:28,644
The gang is back together.
277
00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:30,543
It's the first summer all
together since college started.
278
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,277
- Ugh.
- Ugh. I blame myself.
279
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,769
Why did I say yes
to those stupid internships?
280
00:19:34,854 --> 00:19:37,749
Wasting my summers away
getting coffee
281
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:39,308
for douchebag Facebook execs
282
00:19:39,393 --> 00:19:41,200
and congressmen
with 16-year-old girlfriends.
283
00:19:41,285 --> 00:19:43,253
- Ew.
- I blame Cal too.
284
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:46,714
Seriously, though, guys,
I missed you so much.
285
00:19:46,808 --> 00:19:49,903
This year's been so stressful...
applying to med schools
286
00:19:49,995 --> 00:19:51,340
while going back and forth
from home
287
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,557
to help my mom with my dad.
288
00:19:52,668 --> 00:19:54,187
Ah, yeah. How is he?
289
00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:56,372
- Cancer sucks.
- I'm so sorry, Kenny.
290
00:19:56,457 --> 00:19:58,197
- It's fine.
- No sad stuff tonight.
291
00:19:58,282 --> 00:19:59,014
Yes.
292
00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:00,681
What's everyone's update?
293
00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:02,618
Uh, y...
294
00:20:03,532 --> 00:20:04,805
We're fucking.
295
00:20:04,939 --> 00:20:07,744
Okay, we are more than fucking.
We are dating.
296
00:20:07,829 --> 00:20:09,401
- Oh, what?
- What?
297
00:20:09,486 --> 00:20:11,518
Kendall, honey, come on.
298
00:20:11,603 --> 00:20:12,635
You didn't know?
299
00:20:12,719 --> 00:20:15,322
- Um, Troy took my virginity.
- And how was it?
300
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,966
I mean, yeah,
it was terrible,
301
00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:18,628
but I thought that was
due to lack of experience,
302
00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:19,897
not lack of interest
in vagina.
303
00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:22,315
We didn't act on it
until we got to Princeton
304
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,471
and we roomed together.
305
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,337
Those dorms were small.
306
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,510
First, you know,
307
00:20:26,595 --> 00:20:28,893
you jack off at the same time,
but in the dark,
308
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,791
and then you just
start doing it together,
309
00:20:31,876 --> 00:20:32,999
and before you know it,
you're late for your
310
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,440
Great Thinkers
of Enlightenment Class
311
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,550
because you have your best
friend's dick in your mouth.
312
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:38,690
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
Do your parents know?
313
00:20:38,775 --> 00:20:40,597
I thought Orthodox Jews
weren't down with the gays.
314
00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:42,072
Oh, no, no, no, no.
315
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,221
We, uh, we hired Cal to be
our Shabbos goy
316
00:20:45,321 --> 00:20:46,517
since we've both been home
from school
317
00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:48,175
so, I can sneek from
my house
318
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,368
Shabbos goy?
319
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,619
Uh, so,
um,
320
00:20:50,704 --> 00:20:52,963
You know, Jews aren't allowed
to use any electronics
321
00:20:53,055 --> 00:20:55,243
during the sabbath,
so you hire a gentile
322
00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:58,084
to turn lights off and on
or turn the stove on or...
323
00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,931
- drive to the store.
- No.
324
00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:01,744
My Shabbos goy.
325
00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:03,951
- But you have sex on Saturday.
- Yes.
326
00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:05,215
That doesn't seem kosher.
327
00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:06,448
Yeah, well, I only bottom
on Saturday.
328
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,010
That way, he's the only one
doing any work.
329
00:21:08,094 --> 00:21:10,494
Oh, my gosh.
330
00:21:10,642 --> 00:21:12,618
That's cute.
331
00:21:12,962 --> 00:21:14,377
- Hmm.
- You okay?
332
00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,142
Something isn't right
about you.
333
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,697
Yeah, you said
no sad stuff tonight.
334
00:21:19,782 --> 00:21:21,564
I didn't mean it like that.
335
00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:25,182
- I met a guy.
- Mm.
336
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:27,893
Most wonderful guy.
337
00:21:27,978 --> 00:21:29,862
He's brilliant,
and we were, like,
338
00:21:29,947 --> 00:21:32,251
already in love, you know,
on our first date,
339
00:21:32,336 --> 00:21:35,299
and, um, it was perfect.
340
00:21:35,384 --> 00:21:38,026
Um, but then we got home,
341
00:21:38,111 --> 00:21:40,053
and we fooled around...
342
00:21:40,138 --> 00:21:41,288
Micropenis?
343
00:21:41,373 --> 00:21:42,432
- No.
- Definitely not.
344
00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:45,947
Um, but he, uh...
He didn't have a condom,
345
00:21:46,032 --> 00:21:49,290
so, like, we didn't have sex,
so he just went down on me,
346
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,584
and then just jerked off
on my tits.
347
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:56,018
Uh, but when his...
His stuff, like, hit my skin,
348
00:21:56,103 --> 00:21:58,299
it felt like, uh, acid.
349
00:21:58,415 --> 00:21:59,174
Fuck!
350
00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:00,822
You're allergic
to his man juice?
351
00:22:00,907 --> 00:22:03,329
Seminal plasma
hypersensitivity.
352
00:22:03,414 --> 00:22:05,501
She has a reaction
to the proteins in his semen.
353
00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:07,198
God, is there something
she could take for that?
354
00:22:07,282 --> 00:22:08,960
Like, take a Benadryl
before they bang or something?
355
00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,076
No, there's nothing
we can do.
356
00:22:11,161 --> 00:22:12,579
- Ugh.
- No.
357
00:22:13,013 --> 00:22:16,142
Hey, this sucks,
but I promise you,
358
00:22:16,227 --> 00:22:18,420
we are gonna make sure that
by the end of this summer,
359
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,946
you'll totally forget
about this dude
360
00:22:20,031 --> 00:22:21,715
and his venomous jizz.
361
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,284
This summer
is going to be party!
362
00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,290
- Party!
- Whoo!
363
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:26,655
- Party, baby.
- Come on.
364
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:27,752
Cheers.
365
00:22:41,384 --> 00:22:43,958
You guys, we're an hour
into our summer reunion,
366
00:22:44,043 --> 00:22:46,915
and you're already all
more interested in your phones?
367
00:22:47,253 --> 00:22:48,939
Put them away.
368
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,587
All right, Mom.
369
00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:54,064
Do you feel that?
370
00:22:54,149 --> 00:22:55,882
That tension
that comes up inside
371
00:22:55,967 --> 00:22:57,978
when you think about
putting your phones away?
372
00:22:58,066 --> 00:22:59,407
It's called "nomophobia,"
373
00:22:59,548 --> 00:23:01,150
as in "no mobile phone phobia."
374
00:23:01,235 --> 00:23:02,455
That is not a real thing.
375
00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:03,954
It is,
and it's a leading cause
376
00:23:04,039 --> 00:23:05,486
of anxiety in young people.
377
00:23:05,571 --> 00:23:07,432
It's why I joined
the luddite club at harvard.
378
00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:09,564
I'm cured of the curse
of technology.
379
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:10,595
Yeah, okay.
380
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,766
I was taking a class called
50 Years of Technology,
381
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:15,056
all about how the human race
382
00:23:15,141 --> 00:23:17,069
has had
more technological advances
383
00:23:17,154 --> 00:23:18,385
in the last 50 years
384
00:23:18,470 --> 00:23:20,407
than in the previous
20,000 combined.
385
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,127
Well, the truth is that
if we took someone
386
00:23:22,211 --> 00:23:23,792
from the second century B.C.,
and we drop him
387
00:23:23,876 --> 00:23:25,150
in the 14th century A.D., well,
388
00:23:25,235 --> 00:23:26,595
they're gonna adapt
pretty quickly.
389
00:23:26,766 --> 00:23:28,214
All right, and you ask someone
from the 1970s
390
00:23:28,298 --> 00:23:30,509
to live in 2021, they're gonna
have a nervous breakdown.
391
00:23:31,132 --> 00:23:33,918
See, guys,
we've advanced technologically
392
00:23:34,048 --> 00:23:35,633
far faster than, well,
393
00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:38,102
our brains or our emotions
can adapt.
394
00:23:38,486 --> 00:23:40,782
He was brilliant,
395
00:23:40,867 --> 00:23:43,236
so I asked if I could
pick his brain after class.
396
00:23:49,235 --> 00:23:53,688
He was so calm and centered
and anxiety-free.
397
00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:55,315
He explained that
it was because
398
00:23:55,399 --> 00:23:56,983
he wasn't a slave
to technology.
399
00:23:57,273 --> 00:24:00,837
He didn't have a computer
or a smartphone
400
00:24:00,952 --> 00:24:02,564
- or even the Internet.
- Hold up.
401
00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:05,184
Is this why
we could only call you on a landline?
402
00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:07,526
Yes... I'm a proud member
of the Luddite Club.
403
00:24:07,611 --> 00:24:09,105
Yeah, the original Luddites
404
00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:11,660
were 19th-century
English textile workers
405
00:24:11,745 --> 00:24:14,542
who would destroy
their textile machinery
406
00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:16,261
as a protest
to all the machines
407
00:24:16,346 --> 00:24:17,474
that they thought
could do the work
408
00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:18,870
that humans should be doing.
409
00:24:18,955 --> 00:24:21,738
So you're saying you don't
use any tech at all?
410
00:24:21,823 --> 00:24:24,613
I mean, I have to write
my papers on a computer,
411
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,996
but I do all my research
at the library,
412
00:24:27,081 --> 00:24:29,409
and all my teachers know I can't
be contacted through email.
413
00:24:29,493 --> 00:24:32,198
Okay, Kendall, I love you.
Shut up. I respect you.
414
00:24:32,283 --> 00:24:34,629
But that Adam guy must have
a 10-inch dick,
415
00:24:34,714 --> 00:24:36,917
because that is the
dumbest shit I've ever heard.
416
00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:38,518
Technology is awesome.
417
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,237
You wanna be a doctor.
418
00:24:40,322 --> 00:24:42,755
What would medicine be
without robotic surgeries
419
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,253
or MRI machines?
420
00:24:44,338 --> 00:24:47,660
- Or HD video, GPS.
- Uber fucking Eats.
421
00:24:47,745 --> 00:24:50,636
Okay, look, I know
we can't avoid it forever,
422
00:24:50,721 --> 00:24:52,159
but you have to believe me.
423
00:24:52,244 --> 00:24:53,965
It's the biggest relief
to be free from it,
424
00:24:54,050 --> 00:24:55,550
just for a little while.
425
00:24:55,737 --> 00:24:56,785
Do you remember
that camping trip
426
00:24:56,869 --> 00:24:59,087
our parents took us on
when we were all, like, eight?
427
00:24:59,172 --> 00:24:59,722
Yeah.
428
00:24:59,807 --> 00:25:02,456
And no phones or iPads
or anything allowed?
429
00:25:02,541 --> 00:25:04,699
Wasn't that the most fun
we've all had together?
430
00:25:04,784 --> 00:25:06,425
Yes, it was fun.
431
00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:08,465
Let's at least
do this camping trip like that.
432
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,084
Just see how good it feels...
not a full break,
433
00:25:11,168 --> 00:25:12,378
just a vacation from it.
434
00:25:12,463 --> 00:25:14,934
Mm, at least I won't be
checking my phone
435
00:25:15,019 --> 00:25:16,754
to see if he's texted me.
436
00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:19,167
Can we get one of those
Bedouin tents in Joshua Tree?
437
00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:20,760
Ooh, glamping.
438
00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:22,659
So are we all in?
439
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:26,324
To a, uh, Luddite summer?
440
00:25:26,409 --> 00:25:29,635
To a Luddite summer!
441
00:25:32,689 --> 00:25:35,339
Blondie's "Rapture"
plays...
442
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,058
Okay. I'm all set.
Let's go.
443
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,263
We can go when you take
your phone out of your pocket.
444
00:26:03,619 --> 00:26:04,737
- What?
- Huh?
445
00:26:04,822 --> 00:26:05,800
What's in your pocket?
446
00:26:05,885 --> 00:26:07,685
- I don't have my...
- What do you have in there?
447
00:26:07,769 --> 00:26:09,081
- Nothing.
- Huh? Huh? Huh?
448
00:26:09,166 --> 00:26:10,403
Okay, all right, okay, fine.
449
00:26:10,488 --> 00:26:11,823
I know
you shall love it.
450
00:26:11,939 --> 00:26:14,644
Yeah, but, like...
451
00:26:15,417 --> 00:26:16,519
Fuck.
452
00:26:16,628 --> 00:26:20,015
♪ Wall to wall
453
00:26:24,275 --> 00:26:30,063
♪ And they're
stepping lightly ♪
454
00:26:30,147 --> 00:26:32,198
You guys!
455
00:26:33,230 --> 00:26:35,736
Oh!
456
00:26:35,821 --> 00:26:37,405
- Sweet.
- Wow!
457
00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,349
- Oh.
- Oh, wow!
458
00:26:39,581 --> 00:26:41,370
All night.
459
00:26:43,479 --> 00:26:46,723
♪ Back to back
460
00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:51,222
♪ Sacroiliac
461
00:26:51,337 --> 00:26:55,621
♪ Spineless movement
462
00:26:55,706 --> 00:26:59,525
♪ And a wild attack
463
00:27:01,323 --> 00:27:04,530
♪ Face to face
464
00:27:04,615 --> 00:27:09,339
♪ Sightless solitude
465
00:27:09,487 --> 00:27:14,606
♪ And it's finger popping
466
00:27:14,691 --> 00:27:18,278
♪ 24-hour shopping
467
00:27:18,362 --> 00:27:23,250
♪ In rapture
468
00:27:53,751 --> 00:27:55,231
Almost there.
469
00:27:57,033 --> 00:27:58,537
Are you sure we're going
the right way?
470
00:27:58,621 --> 00:27:59,953
I feel like we're not going
the right way.
471
00:28:00,037 --> 00:28:01,826
Yes. It's right around...
472
00:28:05,667 --> 00:28:07,246
This wasn't here before.
473
00:28:08,163 --> 00:28:09,347
From the looks of it, babe,
474
00:28:09,434 --> 00:28:11,075
this has been here
since god was a child.
475
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,114
No, no, no, it... this was...
476
00:28:13,199 --> 00:28:14,867
there was a pond
here yesterday.
477
00:28:14,952 --> 00:28:17,137
Yeah, I think we just
got turned around or something.
478
00:28:17,650 --> 00:28:19,099
I told you we shouldn't
be following him.
479
00:28:19,183 --> 00:28:20,686
You know he has
a shit sense of direction.
480
00:28:20,770 --> 00:28:21,825
But I like the view.
481
00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:23,215
I can hear you fuckers.
482
00:28:28,364 --> 00:28:30,457
Uh, you guys,
I think we should go back.
483
00:28:31,365 --> 00:28:33,085
If we go right up here...
484
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,379
Oh, my...
485
00:28:35,891 --> 00:28:37,910
Oh, my God,
what is that smell?
486
00:28:38,042 --> 00:28:39,684
It smells like
something died.
487
00:28:40,567 --> 00:28:42,194
Can we not do this right now?
488
00:28:56,126 --> 00:28:57,262
What the fuck?
489
00:28:57,347 --> 00:28:59,137
- Someone mutilated them.
- How?
490
00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:01,155
I mean, look... look at them.
491
00:29:01,543 --> 00:29:03,395
There aren't
any pools of blood.
492
00:29:05,391 --> 00:29:07,509
- Kendall, don't.
- Kendall.
493
00:29:07,671 --> 00:29:10,121
This is a really bad idea.
494
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,088
If they were cut
with a saw or a knife,
495
00:29:25,173 --> 00:29:27,184
there'd be blood everywhere.
496
00:29:37,168 --> 00:29:39,086
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Come on!
497
00:29:39,170 --> 00:29:40,520
Kendall, come on!
498
00:29:57,568 --> 00:29:59,788
Okay, come on, guys.
It's gonna be dark soon.
499
00:29:59,873 --> 00:30:01,309
- The road is...
- A road without lights
500
00:30:01,393 --> 00:30:02,566
is still safer
than sleeping here
501
00:30:02,650 --> 00:30:03,880
with the bovine butcher
on the loose, so.
502
00:30:03,964 --> 00:30:05,451
I still don't understand,
like, how.
503
00:30:05,536 --> 00:30:06,284
They were mooing!
504
00:30:06,369 --> 00:30:08,183
Those half fucking cows
were fucking mooing.
505
00:30:08,283 --> 00:30:09,191
- Come on!
- Hurry up!
506
00:30:09,276 --> 00:30:10,262
Maybe it was just, like,
the wind
507
00:30:10,347 --> 00:30:12,153
whistling through
their carcasses or something.
508
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,375
How far to the next town?
509
00:30:24,460 --> 00:30:25,750
An hour at least.
510
00:30:28,973 --> 00:30:30,531
- Oh, my God, Cal!
- I'm sorry!
511
00:30:30,616 --> 00:30:32,290
I can't see a damn thing!
I hate driving at night.
512
00:30:32,374 --> 00:30:34,446
- Well, then why are you?
- I can't; it's Saturday.
513
00:30:34,531 --> 00:30:36,321
Okay, well,
let one of us drive then.
514
00:30:36,406 --> 00:30:38,101
Be my guest.
515
00:30:39,451 --> 00:30:41,452
- Cal, cal, why are you braking?
- I'm not doing anything.
516
00:30:41,536 --> 00:30:43,454
- I don't know.
- I don't know what's happening.
517
00:30:43,555 --> 00:30:44,907
- What the fuck?
- Oh, my God.
518
00:30:44,992 --> 00:30:46,963
- I'm not doing anything.
- Cal, did you turn the car off?
519
00:30:47,047 --> 00:30:48,377
- No, I didn't!
- What are you doing?
520
00:30:48,461 --> 00:30:50,227
Wait, guys... do you hear that?
521
00:30:52,941 --> 00:30:54,351
All the crickets stopped.
522
00:30:58,282 --> 00:31:00,400
- Oh, my God.
- What the hell is that?
523
00:31:02,542 --> 00:31:04,025
Is it a helicopter?
524
00:31:07,258 --> 00:31:09,156
Oh, Jesus.
525
00:31:14,947 --> 00:31:16,634
Where's it going?
526
00:31:16,719 --> 00:31:18,149
Fuckin'...
527
00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:29,274
Go. Go!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
528
00:31:29,359 --> 00:31:31,277
- Guys, it won't start!
- Go now! Call for help!
529
00:31:31,362 --> 00:31:33,008
We don't have phones,
Kendall!
530
00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,077
- Come on, come on.
- What is that?
531
00:31:35,253 --> 00:31:36,578
- Come on!
- Come on.
532
00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:43,618
- Help!
- No, no, no, no, no!
533
00:31:43,703 --> 00:31:45,378
No!
534
00:31:58,406 --> 00:31:59,406
Hey.
535
00:32:00,274 --> 00:32:02,058
- Hmm. Hmm.
- You okay?
536
00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:04,531
- Yeah, I don't know.
- What was that?
537
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:13,969
There was a light.
538
00:32:14,691 --> 00:32:16,321
I didn't imagine that.
539
00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:19,000
Wait.
540
00:32:21,289 --> 00:32:22,836
Where's Jamie?
541
00:32:27,841 --> 00:32:30,703
Oh, my God, Jamie!
Oh, my God, Jamie!
542
00:32:32,407 --> 00:32:33,788
How did you get out
of the car?
543
00:32:33,873 --> 00:32:35,250
- I didn't.
- Her pulse is racing.
544
00:32:35,335 --> 00:32:36,386
- She's...
- She's leaving with us.
545
00:32:36,470 --> 00:32:38,298
- Come on.
- Let's go. You okay?
546
00:32:38,383 --> 00:32:39,361
Yeah.
547
00:32:39,446 --> 00:32:41,008
- Okay.
- Yeah.
548
00:32:41,383 --> 00:32:43,375
We need to get the fuck
out of here.
549
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,547
- Come on.
- Yeah.
550
00:32:46,664 --> 00:32:48,633
- You're driving.
- So?
551
00:32:48,718 --> 00:32:50,086
It's Saturday.
552
00:32:51,711 --> 00:32:53,275
We were all put
in different seats.
553
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,522
What the fuck?
You're right.
554
00:32:54,647 --> 00:32:56,240
- How is that possible?
- I don't care!
555
00:32:56,325 --> 00:32:57,508
I just wanna go home.
556
00:33:12,139 --> 00:33:13,199
It wasn't drugs.
557
00:33:13,284 --> 00:33:14,767
Nobody was high.
558
00:33:14,866 --> 00:33:16,131
Well, I don't know,
it sure sounds
559
00:33:16,215 --> 00:33:17,131
like hallucination.
560
00:33:17,239 --> 00:33:18,379
I mean, mooing half cows?
561
00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:20,181
Sure no one decided
to spike the kool-aid?
562
00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:21,340
Hey, what about
your friend Nino?
563
00:33:21,424 --> 00:33:23,424
- He seems like the type.
- His name is Cal.
564
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:24,577
And what the hell
does that mean?
565
00:33:24,661 --> 00:33:26,021
It's just the way
you talk about him.
566
00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,566
You know, he's always on.
567
00:33:28,067 --> 00:33:30,145
I mean, he has to show off
to demonstrate his power.
568
00:33:30,230 --> 00:33:32,152
I never said any of that.
569
00:33:32,702 --> 00:33:34,958
I remember seeing this TV show
when I was a kid
570
00:33:35,043 --> 00:33:37,059
that talked about lost time.
571
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:39,160
It had something to do
with alien abduction,
572
00:33:39,245 --> 00:33:40,596
but I can't
remember everything.
573
00:33:40,711 --> 00:33:42,450
Can't I just borrow
my parents' computer
574
00:33:42,535 --> 00:33:43,895
and Google it just this once?
575
00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,052
Yeah, I mean, sure,
as long as you're okay saying
576
00:33:46,137 --> 00:33:46,933
that you only believe
in something
577
00:33:47,017 --> 00:33:48,465
as long as it's convenient
for you.
578
00:33:48,764 --> 00:33:50,652
It's a slippery slope, Kenny.
579
00:33:51,312 --> 00:33:52,676
All right, look,
you should eat something.
580
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,561
Uh, leafy greens, lean protein.
581
00:33:54,645 --> 00:33:55,841
No drunk food.
582
00:33:55,926 --> 00:33:57,217
Not sure my stomach
is up for that.
583
00:33:57,301 --> 00:33:58,945
I'm feeling a little queasy.
584
00:33:59,029 --> 00:34:00,646
Well, you gotta
stay hydrated.
585
00:34:01,471 --> 00:34:02,933
What about some soup?
586
00:34:03,158 --> 00:34:04,863
Yeah, I can, uh, I can
send you some ramen
587
00:34:04,948 --> 00:34:06,067
from that place that...
588
00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:08,346
Kendall?
589
00:34:17,363 --> 00:34:18,738
Hello?
590
00:34:18,849 --> 00:34:20,480
Kendall?
591
00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:23,520
Uh, I feel like shit.
592
00:34:23,605 --> 00:34:25,738
I've been puking
all afternoon.
593
00:34:25,822 --> 00:34:27,574
Me too.
594
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:30,527
Did we not
cook that bacon enough?
595
00:34:30,794 --> 00:34:33,045
Mm-mm, no, if it
was food poisoning,
596
00:34:33,129 --> 00:34:35,301
we would've felt better
after we threw up.
597
00:34:35,386 --> 00:34:37,337
I've only felt like this
one other time,
598
00:34:37,771 --> 00:34:40,270
and I was 19, remember?
599
00:34:42,456 --> 00:34:44,390
You think
we're pregnant?
600
00:34:44,691 --> 00:34:46,035
That's not possible.
601
00:34:46,140 --> 00:34:48,129
I mean,
it's technically possible.
602
00:34:48,214 --> 00:34:49,697
Adam and I
have a lot of sex.
603
00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:51,113
But I'm on the pill.
604
00:34:51,198 --> 00:34:54,065
And, uh, the only guy
I've been with lately
605
00:34:54,150 --> 00:34:56,144
almost killed me with his cum.
606
00:34:56,236 --> 00:34:58,011
I'm not saying
that it's likely;
607
00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,680
I'm just saying that this
608
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,765
is what it feels like
when you are.
609
00:35:02,062 --> 00:35:05,406
Adam thinks maybe the boys
dosed us with something.
610
00:35:05,491 --> 00:35:06,281
Do you think
611
00:35:06,366 --> 00:35:09,085
they had sex with us or something
and we don't remember?
612
00:35:09,170 --> 00:35:11,578
No, no, absolutely not.
613
00:35:12,906 --> 00:35:14,946
Okay, um, I'm coming over,
614
00:35:15,031 --> 00:35:17,250
but I'm gonna
stop by the drug store first.
615
00:35:17,903 --> 00:35:19,104
See you in a few.
616
00:35:35,598 --> 00:35:36,844
Oh, baby.
617
00:35:46,275 --> 00:35:48,571
Baby, when's the last time
I ate your ass?
618
00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:51,211
I don't know,
like, a week ago?
619
00:35:51,584 --> 00:35:53,922
I think I have Giardia again.
620
00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:56,501
What the fuck is Giardia?
621
00:35:56,586 --> 00:35:58,344
It's when you eat ass...
622
00:35:58,429 --> 00:35:59,813
My ass is always spotless.
623
00:35:59,898 --> 00:36:02,968
And you get infected
with invisible microbes
624
00:36:03,053 --> 00:36:04,125
or some shit.
625
00:36:04,210 --> 00:36:07,238
It's very common; I got it once
senior year of high school.
626
00:36:07,555 --> 00:36:09,165
When you were on the down-low
with the quarterback,
627
00:36:09,249 --> 00:36:10,367
you ate the quarterback's ass?
628
00:36:10,451 --> 00:36:13,133
Often, yes.
629
00:36:13,328 --> 00:36:14,680
And vice versa.
630
00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:18,078
But yes.
631
00:36:18,163 --> 00:36:20,094
I got Giardia from Kyle,
632
00:36:20,186 --> 00:36:23,973
and I felt... so sick
and so nauseous for weeks.
633
00:36:24,674 --> 00:36:27,526
And I had to take a test
from our family's doctor,
634
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,845
and it came back positive
for Giardia.
635
00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:31,961
What did you do?
636
00:36:32,046 --> 00:36:33,423
Well, I was mortified.
637
00:36:33,508 --> 00:36:35,402
I lied and I said that
638
00:36:35,656 --> 00:36:38,237
I ate some unwashed fecal fruit
or some shit.
639
00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,821
What'd you have to take?
640
00:36:40,999 --> 00:36:42,281
Flagyl.
641
00:36:43,422 --> 00:36:46,281
Awful, but it went away
after a week.
642
00:36:46,474 --> 00:36:47,475
Okay.
643
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,616
- Mm.
- I love you.
644
00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:52,335
I love you.
645
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:57,172
- Uh.
- What?
646
00:36:57,257 --> 00:36:58,922
- Oh, my God.
- What?
647
00:36:59,916 --> 00:37:01,406
- Troy?
- Oh, my God.
648
00:37:01,672 --> 00:37:04,079
- What's wrong?
- I don't feel so good.
649
00:37:07,306 --> 00:37:09,008
It's not possible.
650
00:37:10,621 --> 00:37:12,321
Give me your phone.
651
00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:14,586
Just give it to me.
652
00:37:15,086 --> 00:37:16,375
Jesus, what are you
looking up?
653
00:37:16,459 --> 00:37:18,517
- Alien abductions.
- Pfft.
654
00:37:18,602 --> 00:37:19,992
Don't give me that look.
655
00:37:20,077 --> 00:37:22,462
When all reasonable explanations
have been eliminated...
656
00:37:22,547 --> 00:37:25,203
You decide it's aliens? Hmm?
657
00:37:25,288 --> 00:37:27,853
There has to be a rational
658
00:37:27,938 --> 00:37:29,805
- explanation for this.
- Like what?
659
00:37:29,890 --> 00:37:31,493
I secretly have two uteruses
660
00:37:31,578 --> 00:37:33,946
my ob-gyn hasn't noticed
until now?
661
00:37:34,031 --> 00:37:36,610
I've developed the ability
to asexually reproduce?
662
00:37:36,695 --> 00:37:39,431
There have been stories about
this kind of thing for decades.
663
00:37:39,516 --> 00:37:41,531
Some of them
seem pretty credible.
664
00:37:42,812 --> 00:37:45,571
There's so much information
out there.
665
00:37:45,656 --> 00:37:47,039
Stories about lost time
666
00:37:47,123 --> 00:37:49,909
and alien experimentation
on humans.
667
00:37:49,993 --> 00:37:52,164
Betty and Barney Hill in 1961.
668
00:37:52,249 --> 00:37:54,369
You know, some people think
Amelia Earhart was abducted.
669
00:37:54,453 --> 00:37:56,500
"Close Encounters" was not
a documentary, Kendall.
670
00:37:57,481 --> 00:37:58,683
Hey, guys.
671
00:38:00,950 --> 00:38:02,968
Guys, we've been puking
all day.
672
00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:04,712
I keep craving weird shit
673
00:38:04,797 --> 00:38:07,508
like vanilla yogurt
with barbecue chips,
674
00:38:07,593 --> 00:38:09,153
but when I eat it,
I can't keep it down.
675
00:38:09,281 --> 00:38:10,296
How's your chest?
676
00:38:10,380 --> 00:38:13,352
Like I've been punched
in the tits by Tyson.
677
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:16,156
What? No! It's not possible.
678
00:38:16,241 --> 00:38:17,241
What?
679
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,008
I need you guys
to do something for me.
680
00:38:29,666 --> 00:38:31,750
This is so dumb.
681
00:38:31,855 --> 00:38:33,563
Men can't get pregnant!
682
00:38:33,648 --> 00:38:34,648
Just shut up.
683
00:38:37,399 --> 00:38:39,534
Something's happening
on mine.
684
00:38:42,809 --> 00:38:45,193
- Holy shit.
- What does that mean?
685
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,415
It means all four of us
are pregnant.
686
00:38:49,983 --> 00:38:51,983
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