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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,794 Dean Martin's "That's Amore" plays... 2 00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:20,505 ♪ When the moon hits your eye ♪ 3 00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:24,276 ♪ Like a big pizza pie, that's amore ♪ 4 00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,889 ♪ When the world seems to shine ♪ 5 00:00:29,974 --> 00:00:32,154 ♪ Like you've had too much wine ♪ 6 00:00:32,239 --> 00:00:33,903 ♪ That's amore 7 00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:37,747 ♪ Bells will ring 8 00:00:37,748 --> 00:00:38,947 ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling 9 00:00:39,032 --> 00:00:41,236 ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling and you'll sing ♪ 10 00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:44,262 ♪ Vita bella 11 00:00:46,469 --> 00:00:48,751 ♪ Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay ♪ 12 00:00:48,836 --> 00:00:52,696 ♪ Tippy-tippy-tay like a gay tarantella ♪ 13 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,876 ♪ When the stars make you drool... ♪ 14 00:00:57,961 --> 00:01:00,024 - Timothy! - Come wash up for supper. 15 00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,759 Your father will be home soon. 16 00:01:01,898 --> 00:01:03,368 In a minute, Mom! 17 00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:11,336 ♪ With a cloud at your feet, you're in love ♪ 18 00:01:15,686 --> 00:01:18,188 Mama! Dust devils! 19 00:01:18,739 --> 00:01:20,970 - ♪ Bells will ring - ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling 20 00:01:21,055 --> 00:01:23,269 - ♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling - ♪ And you'll sing 21 00:01:23,361 --> 00:01:24,829 ♪ Vita bella 22 00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:27,649 ♪ Vita bella vita bella 23 00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:29,535 ♪ Hearts will play ♪ Tippytippy-tay 24 00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,143 ♪ Tippy-tippy-tay 25 00:01:31,228 --> 00:01:33,679 ♪ Like a gay tarantella 26 00:01:37,337 --> 00:01:39,680 ♪ When the... 27 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,869 ♪ When you walk... 28 00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,257 Timmy. 29 00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,790 Timmy! Timmy! 30 00:02:20,718 --> 00:02:21,718 Timmy! 31 00:02:23,814 --> 00:02:25,188 Timmy! 32 00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:39,798 Mommy? Please don't be afraid. 33 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,430 Timmy! Oh, my God, where are you? 34 00:02:46,993 --> 00:02:48,025 Timmy? 35 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,867 Mommy, please don't be afraid. 36 00:02:53,688 --> 00:02:56,336 Take my hand, Mommy. 37 00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:58,313 You don't have to be afraid. 38 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:25,172 Oh, honey, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. 39 00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,094 Maria? 40 00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:35,695 Maria? 41 00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:42,771 Maria. 42 00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:06,651 *AMERICAN HORROR STORY* Season 10 Episode 07 43 00:05:06,735 --> 00:05:09,834 Episode Title: "Take Me To Your Leader" Aired on: September 29, 2021. 44 00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,950 Sync corrections by srjanapala 45 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,561 You're awful quiet today, Mr. President. 46 00:05:19,255 --> 00:05:20,647 Oh, come on, guys. 47 00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,428 And for the umpteenth time, 48 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,192 Ike. 49 00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:31,928 Came here to be with friends, not subordinates. 50 00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:34,453 Right, and you're supposed to be relaxing, Ike. 51 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:37,631 So what is it? Korea? McCarthy? 52 00:05:37,748 --> 00:05:39,523 Mamie won't let you eat off TV trays? 53 00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:44,686 No, it's just a little question I have. 54 00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:50,623 So why is it I can land 150,000 soldiers in Normandy... 55 00:05:55,178 --> 00:05:57,610 But I can't put one lousy ball in one lousy hole? 56 00:05:57,694 --> 00:05:59,322 I'd give anything for that answer. 57 00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:00,453 Mm. 58 00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:02,147 And they say you're not a deep thinker. 59 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,516 Ah, they're probably right. 60 00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:05,585 Uh-oh. 61 00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,014 Looks like you're "Mr. President" again. 62 00:06:15,037 --> 00:06:16,493 We need to speak, Mr. President. 63 00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:17,889 It's urgent. 64 00:06:21,478 --> 00:06:22,631 Excuse me, fellas. 65 00:06:27,223 --> 00:06:29,983 There's been an incursion into U.S. airspace. 66 00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:32,093 Vehicle was shot down by an interceptor 67 00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:34,076 just north of Edwards Air Force base. 68 00:06:35,263 --> 00:06:36,481 Was it the Russians? 69 00:06:37,342 --> 00:06:38,592 We don't think so, sir. 70 00:06:43,308 --> 00:06:44,759 Then excuse me, fellas. 71 00:06:50,842 --> 00:06:52,155 Ugh, I'm telling you. 72 00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:55,459 Bet it was the duck that they served from the hunt. 73 00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:57,562 Bit into some buckshot and cracked a tooth. 74 00:06:57,647 --> 00:06:59,171 That was two nights ago. 75 00:06:59,584 --> 00:07:01,303 Why is this the first I'm hearing about it? 76 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,437 Well, I didn't want to, uh, 77 00:07:03,522 --> 00:07:05,616 spoil the dinner and worry you. 78 00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,131 There's a doctor at the base. 79 00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:08,381 I'm sure he can put a cap on it. 80 00:07:08,465 --> 00:07:10,390 So you're driving to an air force base 81 00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:11,445 to see a dentist. 82 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,421 If I go into... If I go into town 83 00:07:13,506 --> 00:07:14,789 for any kind of medical procedure, 84 00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:15,601 it'll set off the press, 85 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:16,743 and you know how those boys are. 86 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,779 What's going on, Ike? 87 00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:23,061 Who are you going to see? 88 00:07:24,647 --> 00:07:25,886 Now, don't look at me as if 89 00:07:25,971 --> 00:07:27,889 I have no right to ask you that. 90 00:07:28,893 --> 00:07:30,609 We both know not all of your secrets 91 00:07:30,694 --> 00:07:32,676 have to do with national security. 92 00:07:34,411 --> 00:07:36,397 I'm just gonna go see a man with a drill. 93 00:07:37,117 --> 00:07:38,117 That's all. 94 00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:42,882 One year in office, and you still can't lie 95 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,162 to save your life. 96 00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:48,561 I suppose I should be proud of you. 97 00:07:52,232 --> 00:07:53,459 I'll see you tomorrow. 98 00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:16,738 We still can't identify the vehicle. 99 00:08:16,823 --> 00:08:19,116 It's not one of ours, that much we know. 100 00:08:19,861 --> 00:08:21,796 We have managed to locate a body. 101 00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:22,976 A body? 102 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,523 Was pretty messed up in the crash. 103 00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,279 Can't tell what it is. 104 00:08:26,389 --> 00:08:27,409 Sir, if I may, 105 00:08:27,494 --> 00:08:29,496 there's still a concern about radiation. 106 00:08:34,558 --> 00:08:36,159 Mother of God. 107 00:08:51,351 --> 00:08:52,885 Show me. 108 00:08:58,728 --> 00:09:00,019 Looks like a child. 109 00:09:02,686 --> 00:09:03,941 Get it back to the base. 110 00:09:07,861 --> 00:09:09,316 Is this site secure? 111 00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:11,362 Nothing's getting in or out. 112 00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:13,645 We have two King 40s on their way from Edwards 113 00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,270 to haul this thing away. 114 00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,073 Well, we can safely say it's not the Russians 115 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:36,308 or the Chinese or the Boy Scouts of America. 116 00:09:36,456 --> 00:09:37,706 No, sir. 117 00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,175 And now we have ourselves a new question. 118 00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:43,755 Why? 119 00:09:44,253 --> 00:09:45,542 Why is it here? 120 00:09:48,512 --> 00:09:49,722 Sir! 121 00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:51,395 You need to see this! 122 00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:12,817 It's okay. 123 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,393 It's... it's okay. 124 00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:16,620 It's okay. We're here to help. 125 00:10:21,211 --> 00:10:22,212 Who are you? 126 00:10:24,848 --> 00:10:26,328 Can you tell me your name? 127 00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:29,029 My name... 128 00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:32,889 is Amelia. 129 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,742 Amelia? 130 00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:38,879 Amelia Earhart. 131 00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:51,405 Our plane was approaching Howland Island. 132 00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:53,626 We were having trouble with our RDF. 133 00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:55,672 We couldn't get a signal. It was very weak. 134 00:10:56,617 --> 00:10:58,312 I told Fred we must have blown a fuse, 135 00:10:58,397 --> 00:11:01,078 but he said it was working, so. 136 00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:03,734 Keep going, Amelia. It's important. 137 00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:08,507 We maintained our heading, 138 00:11:08,592 --> 00:11:11,766 but... Howland Island, it just wasn't there. 139 00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,609 There was just ocean. 140 00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,383 We couldn't understand it. 141 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:18,539 And then all our instruments, they went... 142 00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:21,074 They went crazy. 143 00:11:21,726 --> 00:11:23,656 All of the dials, they were just... 144 00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,070 Just spinning. 145 00:11:26,155 --> 00:11:27,945 We couldn't make sense of anything. 146 00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:30,859 We were going down. 147 00:11:31,601 --> 00:11:36,875 And then... everything went white. 148 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,344 It was like we flew into the sun. 149 00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,338 And that's all. 150 00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,397 Well, that's all I remember. 151 00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:56,259 And those... marks on your body, 152 00:11:56,344 --> 00:11:57,711 how did you get those? 153 00:12:02,745 --> 00:12:04,367 - Needles. - Needles? 154 00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,744 Needles. I don't like needles. 155 00:12:05,829 --> 00:12:07,352 I don't trust them. But they insisted. 156 00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:09,992 They said that it was important, 157 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,555 that it wouldn't hurt, but it did. 158 00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:16,476 Sometimes they took my blood; sometimes they... 159 00:12:18,523 --> 00:12:20,000 Put things inside me. 160 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,031 Who? 161 00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:24,945 Amelia, who did this to you? 162 00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:31,957 Where am I? 163 00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:36,171 You're in an American air force base 164 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,407 in California, Miss Earhart. 165 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,750 You're safe here. 166 00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:42,667 My name is Dwight Eisenhower, 167 00:12:42,752 --> 00:12:44,782 and I'm the President of the United States. 168 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:47,180 - You're a liar. - Franklin Roosevelt is president. 169 00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,250 What am I doing here? 170 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,289 What am I doing here? What's going on? 171 00:12:50,468 --> 00:12:51,805 Where's Fred? 172 00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:53,682 Where's Fred? I want to talk to Fred. 173 00:12:53,766 --> 00:12:54,931 Please, I want to talk to him. 174 00:12:55,015 --> 00:12:57,067 Please, please, I want to talk to Fred. 175 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,152 Fred! 176 00:13:00,742 --> 00:13:02,993 Fred! I want to talk to Fred! 177 00:13:03,087 --> 00:13:04,578 I want to talk to Fred! 178 00:13:04,663 --> 00:13:07,820 You're not Americans! You're not American! 179 00:13:07,977 --> 00:13:09,562 Fred! You're not Americans! 180 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:10,859 I'm fine, I'm fine. 181 00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:17,437 No, get it away from me! 182 00:13:17,521 --> 00:13:19,605 Please, no more, no more! 183 00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:25,641 What'd you find out? 184 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,114 Miss Earhart's fingerprints are still on file with the FBI, 185 00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,950 but it's gonna take at least a day 186 00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,117 to get a comparison. 187 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,617 I think we both know what the results will be. 188 00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:38,594 Sir, Amelia Earhart disappeared in 1937. 189 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:40,734 Nearly 20 years ago. 190 00:13:41,122 --> 00:13:42,969 She'd be almost 60. 191 00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:47,345 Mamie used to keep a photo of her in her office. 192 00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,164 She worshipped the woman. 193 00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:51,915 I saw that photo practically every day. 194 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,016 That... that's Amelia Earhart. 195 00:13:55,422 --> 00:13:57,361 She's sedated, Mr. President. 196 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,727 Whatever she needs, she gets. 197 00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:03,031 Understood. 198 00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:04,899 Uh, there's something else, sir. 199 00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,611 While you were speaking to her, we got back 200 00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:08,461 a preliminary serum analysis. 201 00:14:09,038 --> 00:14:10,090 And? 202 00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:11,991 The patient, uh, 203 00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:14,156 she's two months pregnant. 204 00:14:15,743 --> 00:14:17,545 How's that even possible? 205 00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:22,516 Never mind. 206 00:14:23,305 --> 00:14:25,223 The body they recovered from the crash site, 207 00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,922 have they started on it yet? 208 00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:28,452 They're about to, sir. 209 00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:47,101 Mr. President, they're starting. 210 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,798 There's nothing here. No internal organs at all. 211 00:15:25,882 --> 00:15:27,099 It's like some kind of shell. 212 00:15:27,183 --> 00:15:28,568 What does that mean? 213 00:15:28,772 --> 00:15:29,999 How can it be empty? 214 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,702 What was that? 215 00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,476 Give me the lamp. 216 00:15:44,839 --> 00:15:46,008 Be careful, Tom. 217 00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:53,969 Wait. 218 00:16:09,374 --> 00:16:10,766 Somebody get in here! 219 00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:13,391 Mr. President. 220 00:16:13,476 --> 00:16:15,288 Somebody get in there and help that man! 221 00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:24,121 Mr. President, I need you to follow me. 222 00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:43,507 2021_09ó29 223 00:16:44,816 --> 00:16:45,817 Lower your weapons. 224 00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,257 Whoever you are, 225 00:16:54,624 --> 00:16:56,117 wherever you come from, 226 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,342 I implore you... 227 00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:02,450 Stop what you're doing. 228 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,143 Stop? 229 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,226 Whatever it is that you want, 230 00:17:07,104 --> 00:17:09,648 I'm sure we can come to an understanding. 231 00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,105 Reach an agreement. 232 00:17:13,189 --> 00:17:15,320 I have the power to do that. 233 00:17:15,732 --> 00:17:18,156 I'm the President of the United States. 234 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,089 And this world, it's been trying 235 00:17:20,174 --> 00:17:22,125 to destroy itself for as long as I can remember, 236 00:17:22,288 --> 00:17:23,429 and we don't need any more help, 237 00:17:23,513 --> 00:17:25,983 So, I'm asking you 238 00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:28,671 stop the killing 239 00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:32,100 and just listen to me. 240 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,038 Mr. President, 241 00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:37,460 it is you who will listen to us. 242 00:17:49,393 --> 00:17:51,593 Uh, do you have Juyondai Ryusen? 243 00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:54,112 - Um, I don't think so. - Is it on the menu? 244 00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:57,225 I don't see it, no, but you probably wouldn't. 245 00:17:57,324 --> 00:17:58,640 It's super high end, the kind of thing 246 00:17:58,724 --> 00:17:59,885 that would've hidden in the back 247 00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:01,046 for those in the know. 248 00:18:01,131 --> 00:18:02,787 How about Niizawa Super 7? 249 00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:04,428 Not if it's not on the menu. 250 00:18:04,513 --> 00:18:05,648 Sorry. 251 00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,570 I... I did a term in Japan this year, 252 00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:10,229 and I, uh, got a little spoiled with the sake. 253 00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:12,264 Just bring me a bottle of Tatsuriki, 254 00:18:12,349 --> 00:18:13,852 but wait until my friends arrive to serve it. 255 00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:15,280 I don't want it losing its chill. 256 00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:28,819 There she is! 257 00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:35,311 God, you're so beautiful. 258 00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:37,905 - I've missed you. - You look so good. 259 00:18:44,546 --> 00:18:46,819 Mm! 260 00:18:46,904 --> 00:18:50,234 - Hey! Where's Jamie? - Parking the car. 261 00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:51,621 Oh, thank you. 262 00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:01,980 Hi! 263 00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:04,613 - Hi. - You look beautiful. 264 00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,589 God. Hi. 265 00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:10,089 - Hello. - Yeah, well, thank you. 266 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,359 We did it. 267 00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:14,066 And what is this? 268 00:19:14,151 --> 00:19:16,332 It's not the best, but it's the best they got. 269 00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:17,763 Okay. 270 00:19:18,035 --> 00:19:19,432 - Thank you. - To summer. 271 00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:20,917 - To summer. - Cheers. 272 00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:22,002 Cheers. 273 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,770 - Mmm. - Mmm. 274 00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:25,971 Guys. 275 00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:27,443 - It's so good to see you guys. - Right? 276 00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:28,644 The gang is back together. 277 00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:30,543 It's the first summer all together since college started. 278 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,277 - Ugh. - Ugh. I blame myself. 279 00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,769 Why did I say yes to those stupid internships? 280 00:19:34,854 --> 00:19:37,749 Wasting my summers away getting coffee 281 00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:39,308 for douchebag Facebook execs 282 00:19:39,393 --> 00:19:41,200 and congressmen with 16-year-old girlfriends. 283 00:19:41,285 --> 00:19:43,253 - Ew. - I blame Cal too. 284 00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:46,714 Seriously, though, guys, I missed you so much. 285 00:19:46,808 --> 00:19:49,903 This year's been so stressful... applying to med schools 286 00:19:49,995 --> 00:19:51,340 while going back and forth from home 287 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,557 to help my mom with my dad. 288 00:19:52,668 --> 00:19:54,187 Ah, yeah. How is he? 289 00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:56,372 - Cancer sucks. - I'm so sorry, Kenny. 290 00:19:56,457 --> 00:19:58,197 - It's fine. - No sad stuff tonight. 291 00:19:58,282 --> 00:19:59,014 Yes. 292 00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:00,681 What's everyone's update? 293 00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:02,618 Uh, y... 294 00:20:03,532 --> 00:20:04,805 We're fucking. 295 00:20:04,939 --> 00:20:07,744 Okay, we are more than fucking. We are dating. 296 00:20:07,829 --> 00:20:09,401 - Oh, what? - What? 297 00:20:09,486 --> 00:20:11,518 Kendall, honey, come on. 298 00:20:11,603 --> 00:20:12,635 You didn't know? 299 00:20:12,719 --> 00:20:15,322 - Um, Troy took my virginity. - And how was it? 300 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,966 I mean, yeah, it was terrible, 301 00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:18,628 but I thought that was due to lack of experience, 302 00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:19,897 not lack of interest in vagina. 303 00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:22,315 We didn't act on it until we got to Princeton 304 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,471 and we roomed together. 305 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,337 Those dorms were small. 306 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,510 First, you know, 307 00:20:26,595 --> 00:20:28,893 you jack off at the same time, but in the dark, 308 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,791 and then you just start doing it together, 309 00:20:31,876 --> 00:20:32,999 and before you know it, you're late for your 310 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,440 Great Thinkers of Enlightenment Class 311 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,550 because you have your best friend's dick in your mouth. 312 00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:38,690 Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. Do your parents know? 313 00:20:38,775 --> 00:20:40,597 I thought Orthodox Jews weren't down with the gays. 314 00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:42,072 Oh, no, no, no, no. 315 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,221 We, uh, we hired Cal to be our Shabbos goy 316 00:20:45,321 --> 00:20:46,517 since we've both been home from school 317 00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:48,175 so, I can sneek from my house 318 00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,368 Shabbos goy? 319 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,619 Uh, so, um, 320 00:20:50,704 --> 00:20:52,963 You know, Jews aren't allowed to use any electronics 321 00:20:53,055 --> 00:20:55,243 during the sabbath, so you hire a gentile 322 00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:58,084 to turn lights off and on or turn the stove on or... 323 00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,931 - drive to the store. - No. 324 00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:01,744 My Shabbos goy. 325 00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:03,951 - But you have sex on Saturday. - Yes. 326 00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:05,215 That doesn't seem kosher. 327 00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:06,448 Yeah, well, I only bottom on Saturday. 328 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,010 That way, he's the only one doing any work. 329 00:21:08,094 --> 00:21:10,494 Oh, my gosh. 330 00:21:10,642 --> 00:21:12,618 That's cute. 331 00:21:12,962 --> 00:21:14,377 - Hmm. - You okay? 332 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,142 Something isn't right about you. 333 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,697 Yeah, you said no sad stuff tonight. 334 00:21:19,782 --> 00:21:21,564 I didn't mean it like that. 335 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:25,182 - I met a guy. - Mm. 336 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:27,893 Most wonderful guy. 337 00:21:27,978 --> 00:21:29,862 He's brilliant, and we were, like, 338 00:21:29,947 --> 00:21:32,251 already in love, you know, on our first date, 339 00:21:32,336 --> 00:21:35,299 and, um, it was perfect. 340 00:21:35,384 --> 00:21:38,026 Um, but then we got home, 341 00:21:38,111 --> 00:21:40,053 and we fooled around... 342 00:21:40,138 --> 00:21:41,288 Micropenis? 343 00:21:41,373 --> 00:21:42,432 - No. - Definitely not. 344 00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:45,947 Um, but he, uh... He didn't have a condom, 345 00:21:46,032 --> 00:21:49,290 so, like, we didn't have sex, so he just went down on me, 346 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,584 and then just jerked off on my tits. 347 00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:56,018 Uh, but when his... His stuff, like, hit my skin, 348 00:21:56,103 --> 00:21:58,299 it felt like, uh, acid. 349 00:21:58,415 --> 00:21:59,174 Fuck! 350 00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:00,822 You're allergic to his man juice? 351 00:22:00,907 --> 00:22:03,329 Seminal plasma hypersensitivity. 352 00:22:03,414 --> 00:22:05,501 She has a reaction to the proteins in his semen. 353 00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:07,198 God, is there something she could take for that? 354 00:22:07,282 --> 00:22:08,960 Like, take a Benadryl before they bang or something? 355 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,076 No, there's nothing we can do. 356 00:22:11,161 --> 00:22:12,579 - Ugh. - No. 357 00:22:13,013 --> 00:22:16,142 Hey, this sucks, but I promise you, 358 00:22:16,227 --> 00:22:18,420 we are gonna make sure that by the end of this summer, 359 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,946 you'll totally forget about this dude 360 00:22:20,031 --> 00:22:21,715 and his venomous jizz. 361 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,284 This summer is going to be party! 362 00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,290 - Party! - Whoo! 363 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:26,655 - Party, baby. - Come on. 364 00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:27,752 Cheers. 365 00:22:41,384 --> 00:22:43,958 You guys, we're an hour into our summer reunion, 366 00:22:44,043 --> 00:22:46,915 and you're already all more interested in your phones? 367 00:22:47,253 --> 00:22:48,939 Put them away. 368 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,587 All right, Mom. 369 00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:54,064 Do you feel that? 370 00:22:54,149 --> 00:22:55,882 That tension that comes up inside 371 00:22:55,967 --> 00:22:57,978 when you think about putting your phones away? 372 00:22:58,066 --> 00:22:59,407 It's called "nomophobia," 373 00:22:59,548 --> 00:23:01,150 as in "no mobile phone phobia." 374 00:23:01,235 --> 00:23:02,455 That is not a real thing. 375 00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:03,954 It is, and it's a leading cause 376 00:23:04,039 --> 00:23:05,486 of anxiety in young people. 377 00:23:05,571 --> 00:23:07,432 It's why I joined the luddite club at harvard. 378 00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:09,564 I'm cured of the curse of technology. 379 00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:10,595 Yeah, okay. 380 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,766 I was taking a class called 50 Years of Technology, 381 00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:15,056 all about how the human race 382 00:23:15,141 --> 00:23:17,069 has had more technological advances 383 00:23:17,154 --> 00:23:18,385 in the last 50 years 384 00:23:18,470 --> 00:23:20,407 than in the previous 20,000 combined. 385 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,127 Well, the truth is that if we took someone 386 00:23:22,211 --> 00:23:23,792 from the second century B.C., and we drop him 387 00:23:23,876 --> 00:23:25,150 in the 14th century A.D., well, 388 00:23:25,235 --> 00:23:26,595 they're gonna adapt pretty quickly. 389 00:23:26,766 --> 00:23:28,214 All right, and you ask someone from the 1970s 390 00:23:28,298 --> 00:23:30,509 to live in 2021, they're gonna have a nervous breakdown. 391 00:23:31,132 --> 00:23:33,918 See, guys, we've advanced technologically 392 00:23:34,048 --> 00:23:35,633 far faster than, well, 393 00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:38,102 our brains or our emotions can adapt. 394 00:23:38,486 --> 00:23:40,782 He was brilliant, 395 00:23:40,867 --> 00:23:43,236 so I asked if I could pick his brain after class. 396 00:23:49,235 --> 00:23:53,688 He was so calm and centered and anxiety-free. 397 00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:55,315 He explained that it was because 398 00:23:55,399 --> 00:23:56,983 he wasn't a slave to technology. 399 00:23:57,273 --> 00:24:00,837 He didn't have a computer or a smartphone 400 00:24:00,952 --> 00:24:02,564 - or even the Internet. - Hold up. 401 00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:05,184 Is this why we could only call you on a landline? 402 00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:07,526 Yes... I'm a proud member of the Luddite Club. 403 00:24:07,611 --> 00:24:09,105 Yeah, the original Luddites 404 00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:11,660 were 19th-century English textile workers 405 00:24:11,745 --> 00:24:14,542 who would destroy their textile machinery 406 00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:16,261 as a protest to all the machines 407 00:24:16,346 --> 00:24:17,474 that they thought could do the work 408 00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:18,870 that humans should be doing. 409 00:24:18,955 --> 00:24:21,738 So you're saying you don't use any tech at all? 410 00:24:21,823 --> 00:24:24,613 I mean, I have to write my papers on a computer, 411 00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,996 but I do all my research at the library, 412 00:24:27,081 --> 00:24:29,409 and all my teachers know I can't be contacted through email. 413 00:24:29,493 --> 00:24:32,198 Okay, Kendall, I love you. Shut up. I respect you. 414 00:24:32,283 --> 00:24:34,629 But that Adam guy must have a 10-inch dick, 415 00:24:34,714 --> 00:24:36,917 because that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 416 00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:38,518 Technology is awesome. 417 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,237 You wanna be a doctor. 418 00:24:40,322 --> 00:24:42,755 What would medicine be without robotic surgeries 419 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,253 or MRI machines? 420 00:24:44,338 --> 00:24:47,660 - Or HD video, GPS. - Uber fucking Eats. 421 00:24:47,745 --> 00:24:50,636 Okay, look, I know we can't avoid it forever, 422 00:24:50,721 --> 00:24:52,159 but you have to believe me. 423 00:24:52,244 --> 00:24:53,965 It's the biggest relief to be free from it, 424 00:24:54,050 --> 00:24:55,550 just for a little while. 425 00:24:55,737 --> 00:24:56,785 Do you remember that camping trip 426 00:24:56,869 --> 00:24:59,087 our parents took us on when we were all, like, eight? 427 00:24:59,172 --> 00:24:59,722 Yeah. 428 00:24:59,807 --> 00:25:02,456 And no phones or iPads or anything allowed? 429 00:25:02,541 --> 00:25:04,699 Wasn't that the most fun we've all had together? 430 00:25:04,784 --> 00:25:06,425 Yes, it was fun. 431 00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:08,465 Let's at least do this camping trip like that. 432 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,084 Just see how good it feels... not a full break, 433 00:25:11,168 --> 00:25:12,378 just a vacation from it. 434 00:25:12,463 --> 00:25:14,934 Mm, at least I won't be checking my phone 435 00:25:15,019 --> 00:25:16,754 to see if he's texted me. 436 00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:19,167 Can we get one of those Bedouin tents in Joshua Tree? 437 00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:20,760 Ooh, glamping. 438 00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:22,659 So are we all in? 439 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:26,324 To a, uh, Luddite summer? 440 00:25:26,409 --> 00:25:29,635 To a Luddite summer! 441 00:25:32,689 --> 00:25:35,339 Blondie's "Rapture" plays... 442 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,058 Okay. I'm all set. Let's go. 443 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,263 We can go when you take your phone out of your pocket. 444 00:26:03,619 --> 00:26:04,737 - What? - Huh? 445 00:26:04,822 --> 00:26:05,800 What's in your pocket? 446 00:26:05,885 --> 00:26:07,685 - I don't have my... - What do you have in there? 447 00:26:07,769 --> 00:26:09,081 - Nothing. - Huh? Huh? Huh? 448 00:26:09,166 --> 00:26:10,403 Okay, all right, okay, fine. 449 00:26:10,488 --> 00:26:11,823 I know you shall love it. 450 00:26:11,939 --> 00:26:14,644 Yeah, but, like... 451 00:26:15,417 --> 00:26:16,519 Fuck. 452 00:26:16,628 --> 00:26:20,015 ♪ Wall to wall 453 00:26:24,275 --> 00:26:30,063 ♪ And they're stepping lightly ♪ 454 00:26:30,147 --> 00:26:32,198 You guys! 455 00:26:33,230 --> 00:26:35,736 Oh! 456 00:26:35,821 --> 00:26:37,405 - Sweet. - Wow! 457 00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,349 - Oh. - Oh, wow! 458 00:26:39,581 --> 00:26:41,370 All night. 459 00:26:43,479 --> 00:26:46,723 ♪ Back to back 460 00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:51,222 ♪ Sacroiliac 461 00:26:51,337 --> 00:26:55,621 ♪ Spineless movement 462 00:26:55,706 --> 00:26:59,525 ♪ And a wild attack 463 00:27:01,323 --> 00:27:04,530 ♪ Face to face 464 00:27:04,615 --> 00:27:09,339 ♪ Sightless solitude 465 00:27:09,487 --> 00:27:14,606 ♪ And it's finger popping 466 00:27:14,691 --> 00:27:18,278 ♪ 24-hour shopping 467 00:27:18,362 --> 00:27:23,250 ♪ In rapture 468 00:27:53,751 --> 00:27:55,231 Almost there. 469 00:27:57,033 --> 00:27:58,537 Are you sure we're going the right way? 470 00:27:58,621 --> 00:27:59,953 I feel like we're not going the right way. 471 00:28:00,037 --> 00:28:01,826 Yes. It's right around... 472 00:28:05,667 --> 00:28:07,246 This wasn't here before. 473 00:28:08,163 --> 00:28:09,347 From the looks of it, babe, 474 00:28:09,434 --> 00:28:11,075 this has been here since god was a child. 475 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,114 No, no, no, it... this was... 476 00:28:13,199 --> 00:28:14,867 there was a pond here yesterday. 477 00:28:14,952 --> 00:28:17,137 Yeah, I think we just got turned around or something. 478 00:28:17,650 --> 00:28:19,099 I told you we shouldn't be following him. 479 00:28:19,183 --> 00:28:20,686 You know he has a shit sense of direction. 480 00:28:20,770 --> 00:28:21,825 But I like the view. 481 00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:23,215 I can hear you fuckers. 482 00:28:28,364 --> 00:28:30,457 Uh, you guys, I think we should go back. 483 00:28:31,365 --> 00:28:33,085 If we go right up here... 484 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,379 Oh, my... 485 00:28:35,891 --> 00:28:37,910 Oh, my God, what is that smell? 486 00:28:38,042 --> 00:28:39,684 It smells like something died. 487 00:28:40,567 --> 00:28:42,194 Can we not do this right now? 488 00:28:56,126 --> 00:28:57,262 What the fuck? 489 00:28:57,347 --> 00:28:59,137 - Someone mutilated them. - How? 490 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:01,155 I mean, look... look at them. 491 00:29:01,543 --> 00:29:03,395 There aren't any pools of blood. 492 00:29:05,391 --> 00:29:07,509 - Kendall, don't. - Kendall. 493 00:29:07,671 --> 00:29:10,121 This is a really bad idea. 494 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,088 If they were cut with a saw or a knife, 495 00:29:25,173 --> 00:29:27,184 there'd be blood everywhere. 496 00:29:37,168 --> 00:29:39,086 - No, no, no, no, no! - Come on! 497 00:29:39,170 --> 00:29:40,520 Kendall, come on! 498 00:29:57,568 --> 00:29:59,788 Okay, come on, guys. It's gonna be dark soon. 499 00:29:59,873 --> 00:30:01,309 - The road is... - A road without lights 500 00:30:01,393 --> 00:30:02,566 is still safer than sleeping here 501 00:30:02,650 --> 00:30:03,880 with the bovine butcher on the loose, so. 502 00:30:03,964 --> 00:30:05,451 I still don't understand, like, how. 503 00:30:05,536 --> 00:30:06,284 They were mooing! 504 00:30:06,369 --> 00:30:08,183 Those half fucking cows were fucking mooing. 505 00:30:08,283 --> 00:30:09,191 - Come on! - Hurry up! 506 00:30:09,276 --> 00:30:10,262 Maybe it was just, like, the wind 507 00:30:10,347 --> 00:30:12,153 whistling through their carcasses or something. 508 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,375 How far to the next town? 509 00:30:24,460 --> 00:30:25,750 An hour at least. 510 00:30:28,973 --> 00:30:30,531 - Oh, my God, Cal! - I'm sorry! 511 00:30:30,616 --> 00:30:32,290 I can't see a damn thing! I hate driving at night. 512 00:30:32,374 --> 00:30:34,446 - Well, then why are you? - I can't; it's Saturday. 513 00:30:34,531 --> 00:30:36,321 Okay, well, let one of us drive then. 514 00:30:36,406 --> 00:30:38,101 Be my guest. 515 00:30:39,451 --> 00:30:41,452 - Cal, cal, why are you braking? - I'm not doing anything. 516 00:30:41,536 --> 00:30:43,454 - I don't know. - I don't know what's happening. 517 00:30:43,555 --> 00:30:44,907 - What the fuck? - Oh, my God. 518 00:30:44,992 --> 00:30:46,963 - I'm not doing anything. - Cal, did you turn the car off? 519 00:30:47,047 --> 00:30:48,377 - No, I didn't! - What are you doing? 520 00:30:48,461 --> 00:30:50,227 Wait, guys... do you hear that? 521 00:30:52,941 --> 00:30:54,351 All the crickets stopped. 522 00:30:58,282 --> 00:31:00,400 - Oh, my God. - What the hell is that? 523 00:31:02,542 --> 00:31:04,025 Is it a helicopter? 524 00:31:07,258 --> 00:31:09,156 Oh, Jesus. 525 00:31:14,947 --> 00:31:16,634 Where's it going? 526 00:31:16,719 --> 00:31:18,149 Fuckin'... 527 00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:29,274 Go. Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 528 00:31:29,359 --> 00:31:31,277 - Guys, it won't start! - Go now! Call for help! 529 00:31:31,362 --> 00:31:33,008 We don't have phones, Kendall! 530 00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,077 - Come on, come on. - What is that? 531 00:31:35,253 --> 00:31:36,578 - Come on! - Come on. 532 00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:43,618 - Help! - No, no, no, no, no! 533 00:31:43,703 --> 00:31:45,378 No! 534 00:31:58,406 --> 00:31:59,406 Hey. 535 00:32:00,274 --> 00:32:02,058 - Hmm. Hmm. - You okay? 536 00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:04,531 - Yeah, I don't know. - What was that? 537 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:13,969 There was a light. 538 00:32:14,691 --> 00:32:16,321 I didn't imagine that. 539 00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:19,000 Wait. 540 00:32:21,289 --> 00:32:22,836 Where's Jamie? 541 00:32:27,841 --> 00:32:30,703 Oh, my God, Jamie! Oh, my God, Jamie! 542 00:32:32,407 --> 00:32:33,788 How did you get out of the car? 543 00:32:33,873 --> 00:32:35,250 - I didn't. - Her pulse is racing. 544 00:32:35,335 --> 00:32:36,386 - She's... - She's leaving with us. 545 00:32:36,470 --> 00:32:38,298 - Come on. - Let's go. You okay? 546 00:32:38,383 --> 00:32:39,361 Yeah. 547 00:32:39,446 --> 00:32:41,008 - Okay. - Yeah. 548 00:32:41,383 --> 00:32:43,375 We need to get the fuck out of here. 549 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,547 - Come on. - Yeah. 550 00:32:46,664 --> 00:32:48,633 - You're driving. - So? 551 00:32:48,718 --> 00:32:50,086 It's Saturday. 552 00:32:51,711 --> 00:32:53,275 We were all put in different seats. 553 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,522 What the fuck? You're right. 554 00:32:54,647 --> 00:32:56,240 - How is that possible? - I don't care! 555 00:32:56,325 --> 00:32:57,508 I just wanna go home. 556 00:33:12,139 --> 00:33:13,199 It wasn't drugs. 557 00:33:13,284 --> 00:33:14,767 Nobody was high. 558 00:33:14,866 --> 00:33:16,131 Well, I don't know, it sure sounds 559 00:33:16,215 --> 00:33:17,131 like hallucination. 560 00:33:17,239 --> 00:33:18,379 I mean, mooing half cows? 561 00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:20,181 Sure no one decided to spike the kool-aid? 562 00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:21,340 Hey, what about your friend Nino? 563 00:33:21,424 --> 00:33:23,424 - He seems like the type. - His name is Cal. 564 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:24,577 And what the hell does that mean? 565 00:33:24,661 --> 00:33:26,021 It's just the way you talk about him. 566 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,566 You know, he's always on. 567 00:33:28,067 --> 00:33:30,145 I mean, he has to show off to demonstrate his power. 568 00:33:30,230 --> 00:33:32,152 I never said any of that. 569 00:33:32,702 --> 00:33:34,958 I remember seeing this TV show when I was a kid 570 00:33:35,043 --> 00:33:37,059 that talked about lost time. 571 00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:39,160 It had something to do with alien abduction, 572 00:33:39,245 --> 00:33:40,596 but I can't remember everything. 573 00:33:40,711 --> 00:33:42,450 Can't I just borrow my parents' computer 574 00:33:42,535 --> 00:33:43,895 and Google it just this once? 575 00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,052 Yeah, I mean, sure, as long as you're okay saying 576 00:33:46,137 --> 00:33:46,933 that you only believe in something 577 00:33:47,017 --> 00:33:48,465 as long as it's convenient for you. 578 00:33:48,764 --> 00:33:50,652 It's a slippery slope, Kenny. 579 00:33:51,312 --> 00:33:52,676 All right, look, you should eat something. 580 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,561 Uh, leafy greens, lean protein. 581 00:33:54,645 --> 00:33:55,841 No drunk food. 582 00:33:55,926 --> 00:33:57,217 Not sure my stomach is up for that. 583 00:33:57,301 --> 00:33:58,945 I'm feeling a little queasy. 584 00:33:59,029 --> 00:34:00,646 Well, you gotta stay hydrated. 585 00:34:01,471 --> 00:34:02,933 What about some soup? 586 00:34:03,158 --> 00:34:04,863 Yeah, I can, uh, I can send you some ramen 587 00:34:04,948 --> 00:34:06,067 from that place that... 588 00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:08,346 Kendall? 589 00:34:17,363 --> 00:34:18,738 Hello? 590 00:34:18,849 --> 00:34:20,480 Kendall? 591 00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:23,520 Uh, I feel like shit. 592 00:34:23,605 --> 00:34:25,738 I've been puking all afternoon. 593 00:34:25,822 --> 00:34:27,574 Me too. 594 00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:30,527 Did we not cook that bacon enough? 595 00:34:30,794 --> 00:34:33,045 Mm-mm, no, if it was food poisoning, 596 00:34:33,129 --> 00:34:35,301 we would've felt better after we threw up. 597 00:34:35,386 --> 00:34:37,337 I've only felt like this one other time, 598 00:34:37,771 --> 00:34:40,270 and I was 19, remember? 599 00:34:42,456 --> 00:34:44,390 You think we're pregnant? 600 00:34:44,691 --> 00:34:46,035 That's not possible. 601 00:34:46,140 --> 00:34:48,129 I mean, it's technically possible. 602 00:34:48,214 --> 00:34:49,697 Adam and I have a lot of sex. 603 00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:51,113 But I'm on the pill. 604 00:34:51,198 --> 00:34:54,065 And, uh, the only guy I've been with lately 605 00:34:54,150 --> 00:34:56,144 almost killed me with his cum. 606 00:34:56,236 --> 00:34:58,011 I'm not saying that it's likely; 607 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,680 I'm just saying that this 608 00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,765 is what it feels like when you are. 609 00:35:02,062 --> 00:35:05,406 Adam thinks maybe the boys dosed us with something. 610 00:35:05,491 --> 00:35:06,281 Do you think 611 00:35:06,366 --> 00:35:09,085 they had sex with us or something and we don't remember? 612 00:35:09,170 --> 00:35:11,578 No, no, absolutely not. 613 00:35:12,906 --> 00:35:14,946 Okay, um, I'm coming over, 614 00:35:15,031 --> 00:35:17,250 but I'm gonna stop by the drug store first. 615 00:35:17,903 --> 00:35:19,104 See you in a few. 616 00:35:35,598 --> 00:35:36,844 Oh, baby. 617 00:35:46,275 --> 00:35:48,571 Baby, when's the last time I ate your ass? 618 00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:51,211 I don't know, like, a week ago? 619 00:35:51,584 --> 00:35:53,922 I think I have Giardia again. 620 00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:56,501 What the fuck is Giardia? 621 00:35:56,586 --> 00:35:58,344 It's when you eat ass... 622 00:35:58,429 --> 00:35:59,813 My ass is always spotless. 623 00:35:59,898 --> 00:36:02,968 And you get infected with invisible microbes 624 00:36:03,053 --> 00:36:04,125 or some shit. 625 00:36:04,210 --> 00:36:07,238 It's very common; I got it once senior year of high school. 626 00:36:07,555 --> 00:36:09,165 When you were on the down-low with the quarterback, 627 00:36:09,249 --> 00:36:10,367 you ate the quarterback's ass? 628 00:36:10,451 --> 00:36:13,133 Often, yes. 629 00:36:13,328 --> 00:36:14,680 And vice versa. 630 00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:18,078 But yes. 631 00:36:18,163 --> 00:36:20,094 I got Giardia from Kyle, 632 00:36:20,186 --> 00:36:23,973 and I felt... so sick and so nauseous for weeks. 633 00:36:24,674 --> 00:36:27,526 And I had to take a test from our family's doctor, 634 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,845 and it came back positive for Giardia. 635 00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:31,961 What did you do? 636 00:36:32,046 --> 00:36:33,423 Well, I was mortified. 637 00:36:33,508 --> 00:36:35,402 I lied and I said that 638 00:36:35,656 --> 00:36:38,237 I ate some unwashed fecal fruit or some shit. 639 00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,821 What'd you have to take? 640 00:36:40,999 --> 00:36:42,281 Flagyl. 641 00:36:43,422 --> 00:36:46,281 Awful, but it went away after a week. 642 00:36:46,474 --> 00:36:47,475 Okay. 643 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,616 - Mm. - I love you. 644 00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:52,335 I love you. 645 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:57,172 - Uh. - What? 646 00:36:57,257 --> 00:36:58,922 - Oh, my God. - What? 647 00:36:59,916 --> 00:37:01,406 - Troy? - Oh, my God. 648 00:37:01,672 --> 00:37:04,079 - What's wrong? - I don't feel so good. 649 00:37:07,306 --> 00:37:09,008 It's not possible. 650 00:37:10,621 --> 00:37:12,321 Give me your phone. 651 00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:14,586 Just give it to me. 652 00:37:15,086 --> 00:37:16,375 Jesus, what are you looking up? 653 00:37:16,459 --> 00:37:18,517 - Alien abductions. - Pfft. 654 00:37:18,602 --> 00:37:19,992 Don't give me that look. 655 00:37:20,077 --> 00:37:22,462 When all reasonable explanations have been eliminated... 656 00:37:22,547 --> 00:37:25,203 You decide it's aliens? Hmm? 657 00:37:25,288 --> 00:37:27,853 There has to be a rational 658 00:37:27,938 --> 00:37:29,805 - explanation for this. - Like what? 659 00:37:29,890 --> 00:37:31,493 I secretly have two uteruses 660 00:37:31,578 --> 00:37:33,946 my ob-gyn hasn't noticed until now? 661 00:37:34,031 --> 00:37:36,610 I've developed the ability to asexually reproduce? 662 00:37:36,695 --> 00:37:39,431 There have been stories about this kind of thing for decades. 663 00:37:39,516 --> 00:37:41,531 Some of them seem pretty credible. 664 00:37:42,812 --> 00:37:45,571 There's so much information out there. 665 00:37:45,656 --> 00:37:47,039 Stories about lost time 666 00:37:47,123 --> 00:37:49,909 and alien experimentation on humans. 667 00:37:49,993 --> 00:37:52,164 Betty and Barney Hill in 1961. 668 00:37:52,249 --> 00:37:54,369 You know, some people think Amelia Earhart was abducted. 669 00:37:54,453 --> 00:37:56,500 "Close Encounters" was not a documentary, Kendall. 670 00:37:57,481 --> 00:37:58,683 Hey, guys. 671 00:38:00,950 --> 00:38:02,968 Guys, we've been puking all day. 672 00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:04,712 I keep craving weird shit 673 00:38:04,797 --> 00:38:07,508 like vanilla yogurt with barbecue chips, 674 00:38:07,593 --> 00:38:09,153 but when I eat it, I can't keep it down. 675 00:38:09,281 --> 00:38:10,296 How's your chest? 676 00:38:10,380 --> 00:38:13,352 Like I've been punched in the tits by Tyson. 677 00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:16,156 What? No! It's not possible. 678 00:38:16,241 --> 00:38:17,241 What? 679 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,008 I need you guys to do something for me. 680 00:38:29,666 --> 00:38:31,750 This is so dumb. 681 00:38:31,855 --> 00:38:33,563 Men can't get pregnant! 682 00:38:33,648 --> 00:38:34,648 Just shut up. 683 00:38:37,399 --> 00:38:39,534 Something's happening on mine. 684 00:38:42,809 --> 00:38:45,193 - Holy shit. - What does that mean? 685 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,415 It means all four of us are pregnant. 686 00:38:49,983 --> 00:38:51,983 Sync corrections by srjanapala 48450

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