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Ahh.
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Chapter eight, Tom's family
had gotten used to the idea
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that he was writing a novel about them.
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00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,170
And now it felt like the
Hayworths were entering
5
00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:15,057
a new season together...
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00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:16,833
stronger, connected,
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- more devoted than ever.
- Oh, sorry, I got to take this.
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- Business call.
- But this is a family brunch.
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And this is a business call.
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Frank!
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00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:27,319
All right, what do you guys want
to do the rest of the weekend?
12
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,363
I promised Marina
I wouldn't work on the book.
13
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Isn't hanging out with us
kind of like research for you?
14
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What? No.
15
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,970
No, come on, this is family
time. This isn't research.
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00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,190
Does anyone else want a drink?
17
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,650
Add a beat where everyone's suspicious
18
00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:40,840
that Tom's secretly recording
everything for his book.
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00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:45,337
Family time, so precious.
20
00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,420
Can we do something tomorrow
that's not too pricey?
21
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,720
- Like going to the park.
- Fine by me.
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00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,930
I mean, speaking as an
under-employed American.
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00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,369
Plus, I really don't want the kids
to get used to Connor's lifestyle.
24
00:00:58,370 --> 00:01:01,753
Yeah, last week Camila asked
me where we were summering.
25
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,065
Question for the table, who
wants to see a 49ers game?
26
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:07,943
Oh, uh, actually,
27
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- we were just saying that...
- Shut up, Tom. In a luxury suite.
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Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor!
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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So I'm closing a deal
with this guy, Frank...
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huge Niners fan.
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He's got this luxury
suite at Levi's Stadium,
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and he wants to bring me to a game.
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00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,769
- What kind of deal?
- Frank's got his own hedge fund,
35
00:01:27,770 --> 00:01:28,839
but he's got this pool of money
36
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he's looking to sidecar with my firm
37
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for some more private
small-cap investment typ...
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You know what? Stop. It's too boring.
39
00:01:33,178 --> 00:01:35,346
- Right?
- Gretchen.
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00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,900
Look, the problem is, Frank only
has five tickets to the suite,
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00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,059
which means, including the
kids, I can't bring everyone.
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00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,604
- Obviously, Marina's coming.
- That we will.
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00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:47,810
- Why obviously?
- Because Marina's a fan.
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She's the only one here
45
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who knows the 49ers average
time of possession last season.
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31 minutes.
47
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,323
- I knew that.
- Yeah, I was gonna say 31.
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00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,060
Possession like spirits?
49
00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,240
Guys, look, it's a schmooze situation.
50
00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:01,779
Emily used to have my
back at these things,
51
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:02,959
but now that we're split, you know,
52
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,915
I need someone who knows
what she's talking about.
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00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,293
What happened to going to the park?
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00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,680
The park's gonna be there next week.
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00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:11,500
- Luxury suite, Tom.
- Okay.
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00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,134
I guess if Marina's
going, then I'm going.
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00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:18,423
- Because?
- Because I like football.
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00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,642
What?
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Okay, yeah, look, maybe
not as much as Marina,
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00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:30,150
but I like watching
the old... pigskin fly.
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00:02:30,170 --> 00:02:32,620
That's funny.
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00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,154
You gotta put stuff
like that in the book.
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00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:36,940
- I'm serious.
- Tom, you're a lot of things.
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00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,300
Okay? But you're not a sports guy.
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00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,619
When we were kids, no one wanted
to pick you for their teams.
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00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,980
Because they said I was
a good scorekeeper.
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00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,039
Yeah, now hearing that back,
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00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,779
it kind of seems like maybe
they didn't need a scorekeeper.
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00:02:46,780 --> 00:02:48,380
No, that's an important position.
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00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:50,640
Okay, are you guys forgetting
that I was a jock?
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00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,548
Freshman year, remember?
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00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,480
I used to get up at 5:30
a.m. every morning
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to shave my legs.
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Diving team.
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00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:01,500
That tracks.
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00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,144
But then he had an "injury" that
ended his "athletic career."
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00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,980
I hit the water at an
extremely dangerous angle.
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,023
- Mm.
- Sometimes I can still feel the water in my ear.
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Okay, fine, Tom, you can come.
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- Thank you.
- What about me?
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00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:15,696
- Us.
- What about us?
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00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,099
Just kind of figured you
guys wouldn't want to come
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00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,640
given the fact that you think anything
84
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:21,702
with the word "luxury" in
it is automatically evil.
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00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,788
Yeah, well, I also like to be included.
86
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,310
Plus the NFL said that
football is gay now.
87
00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:29,460
So we are everywhere.
88
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,520
Well, Connor, what about these kids?
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00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,420
Please, please, please,
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please, please, please.
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00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:37,940
- Okay, too much.
- Okay, fine. How about this?
92
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,080
I'll buy some reg ticks in the stands.
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00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,540
Alejandro, Esteban,
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00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,199
you guys are gonna have
to sit this one out, okay?
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00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,740
You're clearly Packers fans.
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00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:45,860
And the rest of you,
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,506
can take turns in the luxury suite.
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00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,771
Everybody happy?
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00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:51,240
Yeah! Ooh!
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00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:53,609
Connor, Connor, Connor...
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Are you ready for some football?
102
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- Garoppolo!
- Garoppolo.
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00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,883
Go 49ers!
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00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,280
Tom, you're trying too hard, man.
105
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,520
Also, come on, what is this?
106
00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:13,754
Cool kids wear it with the tags on.
107
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:14,969
At least he's trying to belong.
108
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What are you talking about? I belong.
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How else would I know that
the special teams unit
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is responsible for all kicking plays?
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00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,830
It's so cute, this morning he
was on the Wikipedia page
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for "American Football."
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Really? He sounded so natural.
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00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,500
All right, the luxury
suite's up this way.
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Kelvin, Shamiah, you sure you
guys are good in the stands?
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00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,274
Can we get on the Jumbotron
if we're in the luxury suites?
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00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,743
- I don't think so.
- Then we'll be in the stands.
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00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,500
Welcome to Levi's Stadium,
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- home of your San Francisco 49ers.
- Whoo.
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00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,100
Look at this place.
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Wow.
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00:04:51,930 --> 00:04:53,980
- Connor.
- Frank.
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00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,520
- Thanks again for the tickets, man.
- Oh, my pleasure.
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00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:59,504
Say, this is my wife, Georgia.
She never misses a game.
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00:04:59,505 --> 00:05:01,250
How about your wife? Did you bring her?
126
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:05,089
Oh, no, I'm actually,
uh, freshly divorced,
127
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:07,240
but I brought the next best
thing. My brother, Tom...
128
00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,880
uh, Tom, move out of the way...
129
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,103
My brother Tom's wife, Marina.
130
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,312
Oh, hi.
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00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,880
I am so used to watching
these games at home.
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00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,660
I just... I cannot believe
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00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,237
that I get to watch Fred Warner
crush somebody in person.
134
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:24,000
So, you're a football widow, too?
135
00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:25,460
No, what?
136
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,954
No. I love the gridiron.
137
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:33,500
- Let's have shrimp.
- Some... okay.
138
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,770
? Hit it ?
139
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,588
Check out those moves.
140
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:42,800
Okay, sure, they're fun to watch
and their moves are fire.
141
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,320
I think I used that correctly.
142
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,470
But they're only here to
support the men on the field.
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00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,932
That's not true. They're
athletes in their own right.
144
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,860
And they do community outreach.
145
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,604
Alexis and Marissa visited a
children's hospital last week.
146
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,316
- I follow their Instagram.
- Really?
147
00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:59,600
I also follow Kaley Cuoco's dog.
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00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,861
I follow a lot of people, okay?
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00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,423
Anyway, can we just,
for once, pretend to like
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00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,948
normal American things?
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00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,400
Yes, yes, of course.
152
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:10,370
Okay, I will go get us some
normal American vegan nachos.
153
00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:11,920
- That's the spirit.
- Okay.
154
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:14,250
49ers first down.
155
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:21,290
So, um, cheerleading isn't Mom's vibe?
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00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,300
She has a very particular vibe.
157
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:27,940
It's just there was this
cheerleading thing at school,
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00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,930
and I was thinking...
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Of trying out?
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No.
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00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,772
Never mind, forget it. Don't tell Mom.
162
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,620
So I said, "Uh, yeah,
maybe if I were a Jets fan."
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00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,680
Yo, Marina, you're killing me.
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00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,080
- Thanks, 24KGoldn.
- Your wife is a riot.
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00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,500
Oh, no, she's actually, um...
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00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,876
- Yeah, she really is.
- Oh!
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00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,060
The doctor said the water's
still in there. It's... yeah.
168
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,048
You know, sometimes I can
still hear it sloshing around.
169
00:07:03,049 --> 00:07:06,218
Stop it.
170
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:07,880
Oh, let them have their fun.
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00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,263
If it's not for you, it's not for you.
172
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:14,100
I guess it's always
kind of been this way.
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00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,620
Connor would bond with
our dad over sports
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and make fun of me for not
being able to catch a ball.
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00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,484
But it's different now.
I mean, we're older.
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I could be a sports guy if I want to.
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00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,363
Well, here comes your chance.
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00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,663
I've got Georgia on my mind.
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00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,493
Oh, Jerry, that gets me every time.
180
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,495
Meet my new friend, Tom.
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00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:35,220
Tom, how you doing? Nice to meet you.
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00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,080
- He's a big football fan.
- Hm.
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00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:40,113
Well, you know, I guess I dabble.
184
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:43,088
- How about yourself?
- I guess I know a little about football.
185
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:46,250
Oh, okay. Do you know
about the special teams?
186
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:51,388
- Oh, God. Is that Jerry Rice?
- Uh-huh.
187
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,500
Yeah, and he's talking to Tom.
188
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,599
Oh, God.
189
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,740
At the end of the day,
it's all about yards.
190
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,613
You know, which team
has the most yards...
191
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,483
- and downs.
- Really?
192
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,920
- Oh, yeah.
- Tom doesn't know who he is?
193
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,112
- No, not a clue.
- Yeah.
194
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,073
If I had to pick my favorite
down, I'd say 3rd down.
195
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,659
Yeah, no, yeah, 3rd down.
196
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,327
- What's your favorite down?
- Touchdown.
197
00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:17,122
Huh, I didn't know that was an option.
198
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:19,120
- I'll go over there.
- Okay, honey.
199
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:21,251
Ooh, stopped at the line.
200
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,796
Over here.
201
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,632
They don't have vegan nachos
here. Can you believe that?
202
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,940
- Oh, crazy.
- Yeah.
203
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,012
Uh, so, I have something
important to tell you.
204
00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,305
Did we win? Is it over?
205
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,500
- No, it's still very early in the game.
- Oh.
206
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,740
But while you were gone,
207
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,140
Kelvin told me that he's
interested in trying out
208
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,604
for the cheerleading squad at school.
209
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:44,024
- What?
- Yeah. What do you think about that?
210
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,520
Wow, I guess I'm... proud of him.
211
00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:50,405
Way to push against the gender norms.
212
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:51,448
- Yeah.
- Good for Kelvin.
213
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:52,657
Good for you, Kelvin.
214
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,980
Yeah, yeah, totally.
I'm on the same page.
215
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,999
So, what if I told you that
it was actually Shamiah
216
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,082
- who said that?
- Huh? What? Who?
217
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,792
- So not Kelvin?
- No.
218
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:07,760
Well, with Shamiah it is a
totally different situation
219
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,900
- because she's...
- Oh, I see.
220
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,450
Okay, so if your son is a cheerleader,
that's progressive,
221
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,680
but if your daughter's a cheerleader,
that's regressive?
222
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,969
Admit it, I got you. Ya burnt.
223
00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,353
I'm not burnt. I remain unburnt.
224
00:09:21,370 --> 00:09:22,604
- Ya burnt.
- Okay,
225
00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:24,860
you know that cheerleaders
are viewed a certain way.
226
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,880
By you, yes, you made that very clear
227
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,399
and that's why Shamiah
didn't want to tell you.
228
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,020
She thought you'd be all judgy.
229
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,960
That's ridiculous, I'm not judgy.
230
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:34,491
You know, calling someone judgy,
that is a form of judgment.
231
00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:35,580
Mm.
232
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,059
You know that there are different
standards for girls and boys.
233
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:39,538
That's like Feminism 101.
234
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:41,639
I thought feminism was being
allowed to do whatever you want.
235
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:45,335
- Ooh, she got you there, bro.
- Okay, thank you.
236
00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:47,212
You are not part of
this discussion, sir.
237
00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:48,823
- Okay.
- Okay.
238
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,174
- Whoo!
- Whoo.
239
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,136
See, a lot of people think a
touchdown's worth seven points.
240
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,387
It's really just six.
241
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,240
The seven is like a...
242
00:09:57,270 --> 00:09:59,060
an extra point, if you will.
243
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,880
Or there's what we call
a two-point conversion.
244
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,813
I know. It can be a little confusing.
245
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,480
Hey, big fan. Excuse us for a second.
246
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,999
Also, check out the
chocolate strawberries,
247
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,527
they're delicious, yeah.
248
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,237
What are you doing?
249
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,281
I'm schmoozing, you
know? Talking sports.
250
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,100
You just tried to explain
football to Jerry Rice.
251
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,326
Who's Jerry Rice?
252
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,579
Tom, he's the best receiver of all time.
253
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,609
Oh.
254
00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:26,459
This is why I didn't want
to bring you up here, Tom.
255
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,753
These are important
people for my business.
256
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:31,480
- Okay, you don't fit in here.
- Oh, well,
257
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,840
I'm sorry if I'm screwing
everything up for you.
258
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:36,136
If I'm not luxury suite
material, like my wife.
259
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,930
Whoa. If anyone asks, she's my wife.
260
00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:42,142
- What?
- Faithful to the Bay!
261
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,019
That's right, honey. Love you.
262
00:10:44,820 --> 00:10:46,560
Hey, why don't you go switch with Sarah?
263
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:47,780
Are you kidding?
264
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,940
Yeah, you know what?
I'd rather be in the stands.
265
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,779
You know, with the real sports fans.
266
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,150
Ooh, on second thought,
can you send Denise?
267
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,495
I don't know, Sarah,
268
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:03,860
sounds like you're proposing
269
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,708
a false choice between
female empowerment
270
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,580
and sex positivity.
271
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,750
- He's got a point.
- Mm-hmm.
272
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,673
All right, who wants the luxury suite?
273
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:16,340
- Oh, you can go.
- Just in time.
274
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,220
I've had enough of Gloria
Steinem over here.
275
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:21,556
Hey, Phil gets it.
276
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,080
And he gave me the finger.
277
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,143
How's it going down here?
278
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:27,720
Oh, you know, just
philosophical discussions
279
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:30,273
about progressive parenting.
Football stuff.
280
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,680
- Right.
- Go Niners!
281
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,900
Could you not? It's my diving ear.
282
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,190
Maybe Connor's right.
283
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,117
I'm not a fan.
284
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,200
Definitely not a jock.
285
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:45,789
I just embarrass everyone
by pretending otherwise.
286
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,833
Hey, you don't embarrass me.
287
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,502
I know you're a straight-up nerd.
288
00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,440
Ladies and gentlemen,
289
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:56,216
get ready for our halftime kick contest.
290
00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:59,550
One lucky fan will come down
to try and kick a field goal.
291
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:00,679
Probably should've just stayed at home.
292
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,340
And that fan is seated in section C214.
293
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,680
Row 16, seat 7.
294
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:10,730
Tom.
295
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:13,191
Tom!
296
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,313
Sorry, it's like high tide in there.
297
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:17,237
What's up?
298
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:21,100
All I'm saying is, why not make
all the stands luxury suites?
299
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,320
You know, so that everybody
has access to them.
300
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,220
Mm, so Denise didn't want to come or...
301
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,163
Hey, Connor, isn't that your brother?
302
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,791
_
303
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,253
- Ay, Dios m�o.
- What's happening?
304
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:37,240
This oughta be good.
305
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,927
_
306
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,840
And sign here, and you're
all set for your big kick.
307
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:46,520
Oh, okay, great. Can you feel my heart?
308
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:48,184
It's weird. My heart feels weird, right?
309
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,020
That's the adrenaline.
This is actually good.
310
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,160
How is this good?
311
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,523
I have to go kick that ball
in front of 70,000 people.
312
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,692
Plus 15 million watching on TV.
313
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,320
What are you... no. That's not helping.
314
00:12:58,350 --> 00:13:00,873
Listen, you are going to succeed, okay,
315
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:01,900
because if you do,
316
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,159
we'll get tickets for the luxury
suite for another game.
317
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:05,994
Oh, well, fantastic.
318
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:08,747
Yeah, Dad, I can't go back to
sitting in the regular seats.
319
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,082
The luxury suite's nicer than our house.
320
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,918
Listen, why don't you go
run around in the end zone.
321
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,200
I'm such an idiot.
322
00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:17,270
I tried to pass myself
off as a jock for one day
323
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:19,000
and now I'm gonna fail in front of...
324
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:20,920
literally the entire world.
325
00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:22,927
Just like I failed in front of Jerry...
326
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:24,720
- Rice.
- Rice, yeah.
327
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:26,039
I knew it had something
to do with starch.
328
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,920
Listen, babe, you don't
have to do this, okay.
329
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,060
Look, if I bail now,
330
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,437
Connor's gonna make fun of
me for the rest of my life,
331
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:35,820
but... I mean, if I go out there,
332
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,233
I... it's gonna be worse.
333
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,899
I don't want this to be the
first thing that Alejandro
334
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,069
and Esteban see when they Google me.
335
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,719
- Es-te-ban.
- I want it to be that book review
336
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,899
from the Sarasota Herald Tribune
337
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,283
that said my writing was... promising.
338
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,240
Listen to me, everything's
going to be fine
339
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,900
as long as you keep your body square.
340
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,480
You plant your foot.
Aim for the sweet spot.
341
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,220
Connect to the top of your
laces, and follow through.
342
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,710
Got it.
343
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,080
Wait, what was the second thing?
344
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,631
I love you, no matter what happens.
345
00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:01,300
No matter what happens?
346
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:03,840
What could happen?
347
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:06,339
? 'Cause I like to chill out ?
? Maxin' with the latest fashion ?
348
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:07,900
? And the ladies gasping ?
349
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,433
I can't believe Uncle
Tom's gonna kick the ball.
350
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,769
What if they ask him to join the team?
351
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:14,562
Yeah, I don't see that happening.
352
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:20,318
? Can you feel the music? ?
353
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:21,873
? Can you feel ?
354
00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,673
Okay, 49er fans,
355
00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,000
please welcome to the field
356
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:29,327
our halftime field goal
kicker, Tom Hayworth.
357
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,680
50 bucks he misses this field goal.
358
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,083
50 bucks says he misses the ball.
359
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,710
How are you guys brothers?
360
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:40,540
He doesn't even look like
he could throw the ball
361
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,960
through the uprights.
362
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,133
Well, you know, he's
got his own skill set.
363
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,120
What? Getting wedgied?
364
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,070
Doesn't even make sense, Frank.
365
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,184
Looks like a shrimp
snuck off the buffet.
366
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,605
Go, go, go, go, Tom.
367
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,941
Go. Go, go, Tom, go.
368
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,485
Go, Tom!
369
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,696
Oh, my God. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
370
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:06,473
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
371
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,340
Mom, what are you doing?
372
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,368
Okay. I'm cheerleading,
obviously. Just come here.
373
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:17,160
Look, I know that I have strong
opinions about some things,
374
00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:19,390
but they're just opinions,
and they're just my opinions.
375
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:20,462
They don't have to be yours,
376
00:15:20,463 --> 00:15:22,255
so if you want to join the cheer squad,
377
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,580
I will be your number one fan.
378
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,511
I will be out there screaming
the loudest for you.
379
00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:30,179
I'll make sure she doesn't
scream that loud.
380
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,808
Come here, baby. I'm proud of you.
381
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:35,573
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
382
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,830
And you know if you're doing a herkie,
383
00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,483
you want to keep one leg bent.
384
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,760
Hmm.
385
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:45,862
So you're an expert already. Okay.
386
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,800
Yeah, this feels right.
This is the move.
387
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:52,035
I'll just get in the car
and start driving.
388
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:54,245
The road will be my home.
389
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,627
Yes, follow through, I know. Thank you.
390
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,750
- Did Daddy go home?
- Of course not, mi amor.
391
00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:08,551
He's probably just
throwing up somewhere.
392
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,760
Tom!
393
00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:14,557
What'd you come down
here to mock me again?
394
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,700
No, if I wanted to mock you,
395
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:16,809
I would've brought Frank and Jerry,
396
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,395
they're really having a field
day up there in the suite.
397
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:22,232
No, I came down here
to, you know, help you.
398
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,192
What about your big business deal?
399
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,970
Frank's a jerk. I just want to make sure
400
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,737
you get the ball through those uprights.
401
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,365
The pole things.
402
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,703
Oh, come on, man. Come on.
403
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,879
You know that's not gonna happen.
404
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,662
You've been making fun of me
about this stuff my entire life.
405
00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:39,123
- Tom.
- You and Dad used to bond over sports...
406
00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:40,500
I was on the outside for a reason.
407
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,779
Tom, if I made fun of you as a kid,
408
00:16:41,780 --> 00:16:45,255
it was just to make myself
feel better. All right?
409
00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:49,100
Not like I was gonna bond
with Dad over science stuff
410
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,636
or, like, bioengineering.
411
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:52,989
Oh, my God, he was a chemical engineer.
412
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:54,920
Sports were all we had in common.
413
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:57,333
Okay, and yes, you sucked at throwing.
414
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,060
And hitting.
415
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:02,230
And catching. Thankfully, 'cause
you were so good at everything else.
416
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:04,973
I mean, you said you wanted to
be writer when you were what?
417
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,609
In middle school?
418
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,150
You actually did that, man.
419
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:13,743
You believed that people
would care to read what you,
420
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,183
of all people, have to say.
421
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:22,020
Well, I guess the Sarasota
Herald Tribune said I had a...
422
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,420
- relatable voice.
- You are who you are, man.
423
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,600
All right, you're not gonna be a jock
424
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:30,091
no matter how many
Wikipedia pages you read.
425
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:31,980
And what happens on that field
426
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,803
is not gonna change the
way I feel about you.
427
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,682
Even if you split your
pants and crap yourself.
428
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,899
Well, I didn't know
that was a possibility,
429
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,811
but now that's in my head.
430
00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:43,120
It's definitely a possibility,
431
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,939
but I do think you can do it.
432
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:46,060
It's only, like, 20 yards.
433
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,420
Nice catch.
434
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,196
Looking like a football player already.
435
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:53,640
Yeah, well, you know,
436
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,700
clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.
437
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:56,951
That's a football reference.
438
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:58,209
You don't have to love football
439
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,589
to love "Friday Night Lights," right?
440
00:17:59,590 --> 00:18:01,509
- Coach Taylor, right?
- Oh, my God, Kyle Chandler.
441
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:03,060
- Yeah.
- It's insane.
442
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,200
- That's my guy.
- So good.
443
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:06,127
That's my guy.
444
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:08,880
Shouldn't they get started?
What happened to Tom?
445
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,920
Wait, look.
446
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,613
- Whoo!
- Hey, there, 49 fans,
447
00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:32,240
please welcome to the field
448
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:36,199
our halftime field goal
contest kicker, Tom Hayworth.
449
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:44,999
Hey.
450
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,920
No one else here. Okay?
451
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,750
Just me and you in our backyard.
452
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,333
Whoa!
453
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:20,535
Oh!
454
00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:29,502
Whoo!
455
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,590
? Come sail away, come sail away ?
456
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:39,178
? Come sail away with me ?
457
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,391
_
458
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,060
It also air broils at the same time.
459
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,960
I did it. Did I do it? I did it, right?
460
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,660
You did it. You did...
461
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,860
Ah, I'm in so much pain.
Can you believe it?
462
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,540
No, not really. How did you do it?
463
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:54,819
I... I don't know.
464
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:57,133
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
465
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,865
Yeah!
466
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:02,560
That guy stole our Gatorade.
467
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:12,962
Hey, do you have feeling
back in your... ass?
468
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,480
It's, uh, still pretty sore,
469
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:18,663
but good news is, the water, it's gone.
470
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,887
Oh, great.
471
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,960
Guys, it's on.
472
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,060
And a final note, at
yesterday's 49ers game
473
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,355
one lucky fan got to attempt
a field goal during halftime.
474
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:33,941
Look at that, sweetie,
he called you a fan.
475
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,400
Now, the approach looks decent,
476
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:38,279
he connects and look at that form.
477
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:41,115
Somebody picked a fight
with gravity and lost.
478
00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:43,242
A little too much follow through.
479
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:45,880
But they're not even showing my
kick go through the... the...
480
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:47,079
- Uprights.
- The uprights.
481
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:48,740
Hey, but at least you made it.
482
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,957
They can't take that away from you.
483
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,720
You're right, I scored a field
goal at Levi's Stadium.
484
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:54,337
How many other people can say that?
485
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:58,257
And it turns out, our star kicker
has quite the athletic history.
486
00:20:58,260 --> 00:20:59,967
Oh, my God, no.
487
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,229
I feel badly for the water.
488
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:15,019
Well, I guess he shaved
his legs for nothing.
489
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:16,049
- Which is a shame.
- Oh, my God.
490
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:17,159
How did they get this footage?
491
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,819
- It's not really diving, is it?
- I don't know.
492
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,460
It's more kind of falling.
493
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,749
If you look closely, right there
at the bottom of the pool,
494
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:24,529
you can see his dignity.
495
00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:29,330
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