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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,958 Do you have the tickets, Walter? 2 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,043 Passports, medical certificates? 3 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,879 Imagine, we're actually on our way to Europe. 4 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,173 I'm so glad my brother insisted we make this trip. 5 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,968 We really should do something for him. 6 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,513 I'd like to rap him right in the snoot. 7 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,349 It's 5:10 now. 8 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,811 Ergo, your watch should be set ahead to 10:10. 9 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,563 I'll write to you. 10 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:53,692 I also suggest a sleeping pill the first few nights. 11 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,194 Normally, I would say that this is a no-no, 12 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,947 but in this circumstance, it seems justified. 13 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,657 Keep the faith, Donald. 14 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:01,742 I hear Athens is lovely. 15 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,245 - I can't wait to see the ruins. - You like ruins? 16 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,289 Take a look at my business when we get back. 17 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,666 Your partner's just as good a caterer as you are. 18 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:10,876 Sam's a jerk. 19 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,711 He's supposed to be here. 20 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,212 Walter! Walter! 21 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,714 Where the hell have you been, Sam? 22 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,632 You said to meet you at the check-in counter. 23 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,510 That's downstairs. This is the boarding area! 24 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,138 Only an idiot could think that this is the check-in counter! 25 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,850 Walter, please. We have lots to discuss. 26 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,018 Wait till I check in. 27 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:31,688 Flight 26 now boarding at gate 9. 28 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:35,066 Oh! Harold! Surprise, surprise! 29 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,319 Walter, say hello to Harold. 30 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,403 Hel-lo. 31 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,738 I envy you, Walter. 32 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,239 I'll sell you my ticket. 33 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,117 Yes, sir, Mr. Hollander, party of three. 34 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,328 You sure you'll be back by the 20th? 35 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,413 We got the Millman wedding to cater, you know. 36 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,624 I'm not gonna blow an $8,000 job. 37 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,293 - I'll be back in plenty of time. - Thank you, Mr. Hollander. 38 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,836 Now, where do I go? 39 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,297 The bridegroom... He's a space engineer. 40 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,840 I'm already on top of that. 41 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,218 I'm working on a special centerpiece for it. 42 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:05,472 Now, I'm going to start out by making a rocket ship out of celery. 43 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,975 I'm going to have a little pimento space capsule, you know, 44 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,812 and it's all gonna be resting on a launch pad made out of chopped chicken liver. 45 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,313 Gorgeous. 46 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:18,443 Well, they don't call me the Potato Salad Picasso for nothing. 47 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,279 While you're gone, we got the Rendazo anniversary. 48 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,658 Oh, yes. That's the meatball Cuban. It's in the freezer. 49 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,785 I had that for the Hogan wedding. 50 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,370 Hogan's the navy lieutenant. 51 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,121 That's the sausage gunboat. 52 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,957 I had that for the Bernsteins. 53 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,960 Sausage for the Bernsteins? 54 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,462 Oh, yeah. 55 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,130 "Oh, yeah." 56 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,299 Flight 26 for London. 57 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,344 That's us! Good-bye, Harold. 58 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,971 Don't make any mistakes. 59 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,265 And don't buy anything for that Millman wedding. 60 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,687 And don't get any grapefruit. 61 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,813 Good-bye, Donald. 62 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,690 We got five sacks of them in the basement. 63 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,859 And use those crab cakes first. 64 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,861 So long, Walter. 65 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,237 Don't forget the 20th. 66 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,072 What are you waving for, you nut? 67 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,574 You got my bag. 68 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,908 Let's not argue. 69 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,505 ♪ Telephone Tel Aviv ♪ 70 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:24,759 ♪ Tell 'em there's a DC leaving from New York ♪ 71 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,928 ♪ Hold the pork ♪ 72 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,598 ♪ Be sure it's "yet, oh, don't forget ♪ 73 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,474 ♪ See if camp 90-90 will let ♪ 74 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,476 ♪ Our junior in ♪ 75 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,396 ♪ He'll meet a friend ♪ 76 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,357 ♪ Family plan all the way ♪ 77 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,569 ♪ And I heard the agent say ♪ 78 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,487 ♪ "You'd better watch your daughter ♪ 79 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,991 ♪ "And don't drink the water" ♪ 80 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,038 ♪ Athens won't be the same ♪ 81 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,414 ♪ What's the name of that good book ♪ 82 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,083 ♪ On p's and q's ♪ 83 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,169 ♪ What-to-dos? ♪ 84 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,755 ♪ Single file in Singapore ♪ 85 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,759 ♪ We'll explore the more important focal points ♪ 86 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,303 ♪ And the local joints ♪ 87 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,097 ♪ Tag your bag, grab your hat ♪ 88 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,601 ♪ Mmm, Barcelona's where it's at ♪ 89 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,811 ♪ You'd better watch your daughter ♪ 90 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,397 ♪ But phase don't drink the water ♪ 91 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:27,781 ♪ Interurban love-ins at the Louvre ♪ 92 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:31,743 ♪ Jet-set flower power's a groove ♪ 93 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,955 ♪ Yeah, and shank! They ask about the ankle Gate ♪ 94 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,582 ♪ Yeah, tell them, "Great, don't hesitate" ♪ 95 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,251 ♪ "But don't drink the water" ♪ 96 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,338 ♪ In Paris, France ♪ 97 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,091 ♪ And uptown Timbuktu ♪ 98 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,595 ♪ We'll demonstrate suburban shooby-doo ♪ 99 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,765 ♪ We'll get by, maybe a slip or two ♪ 100 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,518 ♪ A nip or two, a trip or two ♪ 101 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,186 ♪ But not the water ♪ 102 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,944 ♪ When we get back ♪ 103 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,989 ♪ You will see them smile ♪ 104 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:13,576 ♪ When we unveil our Continental style ♪ 105 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,705 ♪ Illustrating verbal acrobats ♪ 106 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:22,752 ♪ Among the local diplomatic, patriotic plutocrats ♪ 107 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:26,256 ♪ When they ask us how it was ♪ 108 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,507 ♪ Mmm ♪ 109 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:32,429 ♪ We will cool them with our coup de grace ♪ 110 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,723 ♪ We'll laugh and shout about the ins and outs ♪ 111 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,891 ♪ Don't pout about your daughter ♪ 112 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,394 ♪ Yeah, you'd better watch your daughter ♪ 113 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,147 ♪ But don't drink the water ♪ 114 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,024 ♪ Yeah ♪ 115 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,758 Wait a minute. I'm gonna have a nut. 116 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,217 How can you eat that garbage? 117 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,845 London, Paris, Rome, and now Athens. 118 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,181 You're going to love Athens, Walter. 119 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,349 First time I agree with you. 120 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,101 The next stop is Newark. 121 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,478 Listen to this. 122 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:25,899 "The Parthenon, where civilization actually began, the ruins." 123 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,485 Even your father will get something out of Greece. 124 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,946 Four more days of uninterrupted diarrhea. 125 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,075 I'm not complaining. 126 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,202 I'll be back in time for the Millman wedding, 127 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,496 and that's all I care about. 128 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,893 And I'm sure that with my excellent record here 129 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,229 as United states ambassador to Bulgaria, 130 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,730 the party will insist I run for governor. 131 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,565 And you'll make a great governor, Dad. 132 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,276 Your broad outlook will appeal to psychotic liberals 133 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,488 as well as militant fascists... Something for everybody. 134 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,781 Very funny. 135 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,283 But I'm still very worried about leaving you here in charge of the embassy 136 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,327 while I'm in Washington. 137 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,496 You... you do remember my instructions, Axel? 138 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,789 Yes, sir. 139 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,334 I'm not to leave the house, and don't open the door to strangers. 140 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,503 Of course, you realize that if anything goes wrong here, 141 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,171 It would ruin my chance to be governor. 142 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,297 No problem, Dad. 143 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,590 Smetena's a quiet little outpost. 144 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,843 What can possibly happen in two weeks? 145 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,928 You were in Panama for only two weeks, 146 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,763 and they hung you in effigy. 147 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,306 Well, it happens. 148 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,100 By your own embassy? 149 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,184 And how about Berlin? 150 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,562 Oh, yes, then there was Berlin. 151 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,773 To my knowledge, you are the only man in the history of the foreign service 152 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,110 ever to wrap his lunch in a peace treaty. 153 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:56,614 Still, it would have been nice when Vice President Agnew dropped by 154 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,033 if somebody had recognized him. 155 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,120 Yeah, but, Dad, nobody recognizes him in America, either. 156 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,335 - Kilroy? - Yes, sir? 157 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,503 For the next two weeks, 158 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,130 will you please give Axel your full cooperation? 159 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,173 Don't worry, sir. 160 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,799 I'll be at his elbow at all times. 161 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,801 Axel, the only visitor you might have 162 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,469 would be the Sultan of Bashir. 163 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,471 - Sultan of Bapir. - Bashir. 164 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,514 - Bashir. - Bashir. 165 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,183 Yeah. If he should show up before I get back, 166 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,143 give him anything he wants, anything. 167 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,854 "We've got a very big oil deal cooking. 168 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,440 Well, uh, have a good trip, sir. 169 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,696 Happy landings, 170 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,824 And don't worry about a thing, Governor. Heh. 171 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,395 "On your arrival, 172 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,022 "you will be greeted with a mandolin serenade 173 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,317 "by peasants garbed in their colorful short skirts." 174 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,282 I think they just lowered their hemlines. 175 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,867 If those are mandolins they're carrying, 176 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,119 I hope they don't start to play 'em. 177 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,579 This is your captain speaking. 178 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:29,207 we've been forced to make an unscheduled landing. 179 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,793 This is Smetena airport in Bulgaria. 180 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,170 We're awaiting clearance and should be departing for Athens 181 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,589 in approximately... 30 minutes. 182 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,262 Hey, pal. What's going on? 183 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,596 We've been hijacked. 184 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,640 We're behind the Iron Curtain. 185 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,809 Bulgaria. 186 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,269 Beautiful. 187 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,020 The Iron Curtain. 188 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,730 An adventure. 189 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,149 Passengers may leave the plane if they wish 190 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,485 but must remain in the immediate area. 191 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,861 Let's go, Walter. 192 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,155 Out there? Not this apple. 193 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,448 I'm staying right here. 194 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,741 Aw, come on, daddy, 195 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,620 last chance to see an enslaved nation before the tourists take over. 196 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:11,207 Walter, just one picture so we can show everyone we were here. 197 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,418 Please, darling, just for me. 198 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,712 All right, in honor of Newark. 199 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,232 But, Comrade Krojack, 200 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,234 I had no choice! 201 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,237 I knew I had to get out of the U.S. quickly 202 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,490 when I heard the Americans had captured Lopert. 203 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,999 - There so you can get in the picture. - Will you stand still? 204 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,250 I'm gonna get pneumonia. 205 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,712 - But get the barbed wire. - Building in, too. 206 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,505 Lopert. 207 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,716 The gray fox. 208 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,844 Our best agent is captured, and this is what escapes. 209 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,429 Are you sure of that? 210 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,431 They got him, all right. 211 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,144 Could you stand over here? You? 212 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,604 Will you hurry up, Marion? I've... 213 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,192 Who are those people there? 214 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,693 I don't know. 215 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,987 Get your men, stupid! 216 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,242 Did you wind it, dear? 217 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,120 Of course I got it wound up. 218 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,381 Stop! 219 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,383 Filthy spies! Stop! 220 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,009 Stop! We shoot! 221 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,742 Come on! Come on! 222 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,578 Americans! 223 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,580 Apple pie! 224 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,873 The Brooklyn Dodgers! 225 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,916 She means Los Angeles. 226 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,918 - Open the door! - Yeah, quick. 227 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,795 Get in! Get in! Get in! 228 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,088 Kilroy. 229 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,474 Aah! They're gonna... Aah! 230 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,272 Quick. 231 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,421 Now, let's see. I'll need a few facts. 232 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,132 I'm Axel Magee of the United states Embassy, 233 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,926 And that is Mr. Kilroy at the wheel. 234 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,554 Mr. and Mrs. Walter Hollander, Newark, New Jersey, 235 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,598 And this is our daughter, Susan. 236 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,558 She was a Cesarean. 237 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,734 I assume you'll be seeking asylum. 238 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,694 I will not be seeking asylum. 239 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,362 I didn't do anything wrong! 240 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,323 I'm a caterer from Jersey. 241 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,075 I'll need your passports and some information. 242 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:37,914 Now... Have either of you ever had respiratory ailments... 243 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:41,000 Oh. That's the wrong form. 244 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,678 "Let's go to Miami, " I said. 245 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,014 "No, let's go to Europe, " you said. 246 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,600 "We can do things in Europe we couldn't do in Miami." 247 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,976 You were right. 248 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,479 We're going to a European jail! 249 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,855 Oh, nothing like that, sir. 250 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,107 I'm sure once we have the information... 251 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,569 Now, have you ever bought anything on credit? 252 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,241 The information is very simple. 253 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,534 We came on this trip... 254 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,495 Well, it was mainly my brother Harold's idea. 255 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,497 May he rest in peace. 256 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,623 He's not dead. 257 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,875 He will be when I get a hold of him. 258 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,549 This is crazy. 259 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,342 My wife shouldn't have to go through this! 260 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,843 She's not a young woman! 261 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,554 Well, it's not much further now, sir. 262 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,888 I'm an old woman? 263 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,391 I don't mean old. I mean, you know, young old. 264 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,271 Aah! They're shooting at us! 265 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,570 What do you mean, young old? 266 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,029 Oh, Marion, for crying... 267 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,407 I can still fit into the dress I was married in. 268 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,408 Can you? 269 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,410 I think they're only overreacting. 270 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,832 Look out! 271 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,587 Should we go back? 272 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,046 We're leaving the scene of an accident. 273 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,090 We could get into trouble. 274 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,925 I don't see the truck anymore. 275 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,803 Well, I hope nothing happened to them. 276 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,671 Hand over those spies. 277 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,381 They're not spies. I asked them. 278 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,383 I'll give you a carbon copy of the report. 279 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:58,054 They are spies. They were in a secret area taking pictures. 280 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,472 Pictures of what? 281 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,141 Pictures of our fighter planes, stupid, the supersonic... 282 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,268 Get out of here. 283 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,603 It's a secret. I can't tell you. 284 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,980 Hand them over. We'll drag them out and shoot them. 285 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,565 Now... now, look. Look. 286 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:12,360 This embassy is United states territory. 287 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,944 Nobody can be dragged out of here and shot 288 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,739 without the written consent of the American government. 289 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,158 Will you leave me alone? 290 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,285 My government will take steps. 291 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,080 Well, so will mine... Great big steps, too. 292 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,248 Then we will surround the building, 293 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,875 and no one will leave! 294 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,418 No one! 295 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,337 Who's this big mouth? 296 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,672 No one! 297 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,544 There's some magazines here. Have you had lunch? 298 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:15,381 Hey, they're really setting machine guns out there! 299 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,883 First, no movie on the plane, and now this. 300 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,552 Well, what are you gonna do about it? 301 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,345 We will lodge a formal complaint. 302 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,223 Yes, we will lodge a formal complaint. 303 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,975 What are you, his echo? 304 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,059 Uh, Daddy? 305 00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:28,769 It's a simple misunderstanding, sir. 306 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:29,854 How simple? 307 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,897 Huh. We leave the building, we get killed. 308 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,274 Is that simple enough? 309 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,734 Oh, no, no. Nothing like that, sir. 310 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,069 There'd be a trial first. 311 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,406 I take my family on a vacation, 312 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,616 I want to show them a nice time, 313 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,786 and we got this working for our government. 314 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,497 And they wonder why I don't vote. 315 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,666 Mr. Magee, uh, this formal complaint, 316 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,334 will it take very long? 317 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,377 - The what? - Formal... 318 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,755 Oh, the complaint. Yeah... no. I'll get on it right away. 319 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,466 Well, if I can be of any assistance to you, 320 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,509 offer any information, 321 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:03,012 I'm at your disposal. 322 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,222 Oh, good, good. 323 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,599 Well, I'll... 324 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,727 I'll call in here from the ambassador's office. 325 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,234 Well, are you satisfied? 326 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,903 Are you satisfied? 327 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:23,073 We could be in a cabana in Miami Beach right now! 328 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,075 Every year, it has to be Miami Beach. 329 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,912 What's the matter? They need you to work the tide? 330 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,790 They need him to work the tide in Miami Beach. 331 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,628 - Bless you. - Thank you. 332 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,755 Government... 333 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,800 conservation, communication... 334 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,093 cultural affairs. 335 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,970 Cultural affairs. That wouldn't be it, would it? 336 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,098 No. They've got to have a Foreign Office. 337 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,809 Ah. Foreign Office, yeah. 338 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,602 Yeah, that... that might do it. 339 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,479 Foreign Office. 340 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:56,899 It's best to go right to the top in these things. 341 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,451 Foreign Office? 342 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,328 Yes, this is Axel Magee, 343 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,956 acting Ambassador of the United States, 344 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,543 the most powerful nation on earth, and it... what? 345 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:17,795 Oh. Oh, all right. 346 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,880 Yes, I'll... I'll hold on. 347 00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,131 They're gonna check on it. 348 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,675 Do you think they'll hold the plane for us? 349 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,093 Oh! Wait. Ah... 350 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,427 This is Axel Magee, 351 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,972 acting Ambassador of the United States, 352 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:31,517 the most pow... what? 353 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:33,519 The United States. 354 00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:42,570 U-N-I-T... 355 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,864 E... E... 356 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,448 You know I'm not the kind of a guy 357 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:52,872 to throw up anything in your face, but... if you remember, 358 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,416 you were the one that wanted to take the picture. 359 00:22:55,457 --> 00:23:00,087 And I said, "Marion, it looks like restricted property to me." 360 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:01,964 And you said, "Why? 361 00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:05,217 "Because there are guards, guns, and barbed wire?" 362 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,886 And I said, "Yes. 363 00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:11,056 "Because there are guards, guns, and barbed wire." 364 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:14,560 Now, this is what I want to ask you. 365 00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,186 Did you think it was a place 366 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:20,149 that sold guards, guns, and barbed wire? 367 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:28,407 Yeah, United states of America. 368 00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:31,243 Of America. 369 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,579 - O.-F. 370 00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:36,165 America. 371 00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,208 A... capital A-M... 372 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,252 Big "A." capital. Big 'A." 373 00:23:40,294 --> 00:23:43,213 A-M-E-R... 374 00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:53,599 Well, what do they say? 375 00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:55,517 The regular girl in the complaint office is on vacation. 376 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,645 - She's having a baby. - Ah. 377 00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:59,313 Would you see if you can, you know... 378 00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:00,648 I'll handle it. 379 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,524 Why don't we just give them the camera? 380 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:03,609 Wait a minute! 381 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:04,944 Th... that's a good idea, Mr. Hollander. 382 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,320 There's nothing on the film, is there? 383 00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:08,113 Oh, that I can guarantee. 384 00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:10,115 The last reel, he held the camera backwards... 385 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:14,578 50 feet of super-8 film of his right eyeball. 386 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,455 I'm not giving this camera to anybody. 387 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:18,540 It cost me 95 clams. 388 00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:19,959 Always money. 389 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,877 You know, that's why they don't like us in Europe... 390 00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:24,380 Always flaunting our wealth. 391 00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:28,050 Mr. Hollander, I think this will settle things very quickly. 392 00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:30,094 Excuse me. 393 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,261 Sorry. 394 00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:40,229 Is he the most beautiful thing in the world? 395 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,356 Well, he's only trying to help us. 396 00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:45,150 Help us? By giving my stuff away? 397 00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:46,735 Is that we got an ambassador for, 398 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,570 To play "queen for a day"? 399 00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:50,280 Bumping, knocking... He's a nut. 400 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:55,828 Mr. Krojack. Mr. Krojack! 401 00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:58,372 Mr. Krojack, here. 402 00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:00,791 Here. Come on... here. 403 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,001 You can judge for yourself. 404 00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,877 Believe me, they are not spies. 405 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:05,838 They are American tourists. 406 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,589 Did you see the shirt that guy was wearing? 407 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,299 They're spies. 408 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,093 Go ahead, develop the film. 409 00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,845 It's nothing but noses. 410 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:15,806 Anyhow, they have committed a criminal act. 411 00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:18,350 Come on, now. Why all the fuss? 412 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,310 You spy on us, we spy on you. 413 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,812 Everybody knows it. 414 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,647 Why do we have to pretend it's so unusual? 415 00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:27,901 Ooh. You admit you spy. 416 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:30,446 Tell me, how often? 417 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,406 All the time. It's no secret. 418 00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:35,367 Espionage goes on between our countries every day. 419 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:37,494 Then those people are spies. 420 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,246 Well, what difference does it make? 421 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,999 Are you gonna tell me that you don't send spies into our country 422 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,376 posed as American tourists? 423 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,670 But you do admit they are spies? 424 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:48,797 Well, what if they are? What if they are? 425 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,301 That still doesn't give you the right to enter these grounds illegally. 426 00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:58,515 Is that better? 427 00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,893 I'm telling you, you're gonna get yourself into big trouble. 428 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:02,269 Every nation on this earth will recognize this 429 00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:04,438 as a cruel and vicious attack. 430 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,440 I wouldn't even be surprised if France took our side. 431 00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:08,734 I just talked to your office. 432 00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:10,569 They want you to return immediately. Hmm. 433 00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:13,489 He admitted they are spies. 434 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,365 Mr. Magee, you didn't! 435 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,408 Well... 436 00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:21,163 And... and I have it all recorded right there. 437 00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:24,708 Well, I... I... I suppose I did in a sense. 438 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:26,376 But you know we spy. They spy... 439 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,795 We do nothing of the sort! 440 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,254 Actually, we do. Now, look. 441 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:31,882 If we would all stop being hypocritical and be honest for once... 442 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:32,925 Mr. Magee... 443 00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:34,927 Look. How can the truth hurt? The fact is, we do spy. 444 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:37,554 Louder, please, And talk into the button. 445 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,098 Don't you twist my words. 446 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:40,265 You're the one at fault here. 447 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:41,767 You come here with your soldiers and your guns, 448 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:44,311 and then you wonder why a brutal dictatorship gets a bad name. 449 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:46,105 Now, I'm gonna count to three... 450 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,774 Don't bother. I'm going. 451 00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:51,235 I have what I want in the little button. 452 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,113 Now, the soldiers will stay here. 453 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:58,617 And about those spies, don't worry. 454 00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:00,410 They can either come out here 455 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:05,040 or stay in there the rest of their lives. 456 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:25,644 This is great. Just dandy. 457 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,146 Those lunatics out there say we're spies, 458 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:29,773 and this lunatic says yes. 459 00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:30,983 Why did you do it? 460 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,192 I panicked. I lost control. 461 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:33,777 But what were you thinking? 462 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:36,613 I was thinking, "Don't panic. Don't lose control." 463 00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:39,449 27 years, I've been a caterer. 464 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:42,244 Built up a business, reputation. 465 00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,079 Creative catering. 466 00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:45,372 I was the first one in Newark 467 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:47,207 to make bridegrooms out of pot cheese. 468 00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:51,170 He does lovely work, I'll say that for him. 469 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,629 That's not good enough for you. 470 00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:54,173 You got to make me a spy. 471 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,632 Look. I'm sorry, Mr. Hollander. 472 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:58,343 I was really only trying to calm them down. 473 00:27:58,385 --> 00:27:59,386 Mr. Hollander? 474 00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,139 There's no Mr. Hollander. That's just a cover name. 475 00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:04,349 I'm really the Batman. 476 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:05,809 I'm a celery stuffer by day 477 00:28:05,851 --> 00:28:08,061 and a secret agent at night. 478 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:11,565 I hide microfilm, sneak across the border, 479 00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:14,151 give enemy agents an old karate chop. 480 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:18,697 What's with you? 481 00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:21,575 Tuesdays, you have been coming home late. 482 00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,285 That's my bowling night! 483 00:28:23,327 --> 00:28:25,162 Now you got her believing it. 484 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:28,248 Obviously, everybody's been overreacting. 485 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:31,001 I'm sure when things start settling down... 486 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:34,213 The only thing that's gonna settle down is that army out there. 487 00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:36,632 We're liable to be here three or four days. 488 00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:39,426 I'll... I'll... I'll see about dinner. 489 00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:40,928 I'm coming down with something. 490 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,013 I think is all great! 491 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,432 - You do? - Yeah. 492 00:28:45,474 --> 00:28:46,934 You know, it can be fun. 493 00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:50,020 Some people might look upon this as an exciting experience. 494 00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:53,357 Some people bought edsels. 495 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:56,526 Well, we could be a lot worse off. 496 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,737 This place is beautiful. 497 00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:00,447 I just can't hang around here. 498 00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:02,241 The Millman wedding is coming up, 499 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:03,992 and Sam can't handle it. 500 00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:07,579 Sam is my husband's partner. I think you'd like him. 501 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:09,915 Oh, you'd love him. He's a mental midget, too. 502 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,627 I'm telling you, Sam can't handle that affair. 503 00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:16,088 All right, so he can have his son come and help out. 504 00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:17,714 He's over 21. 505 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,299 His son? 506 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,051 Who's going to dress him? 507 00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:24,054 Well, we might as well make the best of it. 508 00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:26,098 I've got another bomb for you. 509 00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,557 What about Seth? 510 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:30,394 Seth? Oh, my god! 511 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,522 Forgive her. She can't remember she gave birth twice. 512 00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,940 Seth is at camp. 513 00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:36,858 Yes, and camp closes Tuesday. 514 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:39,486 What's gonna happen to him when we're not home to let him in? 515 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:41,071 He'll be unsupervised. 516 00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:42,948 He'll live in the street and run amok. 517 00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:44,283 He'll loot and rape. 518 00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:45,742 You know what our son is like... 519 00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:47,244 Just like your brother. 520 00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,870 Daddy. 521 00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:50,122 Well, what about you? 522 00:29:50,163 --> 00:29:52,124 You know, Donald isn't gonna like this. 523 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:53,292 Donald? 524 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:55,836 Her fiance, a very nice lawyer with asthma, 525 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,796 but he couldn't come with us. 526 00:29:57,838 --> 00:29:59,131 You know what I feel like doing? 527 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,466 I feel like going right out there... 528 00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:06,763 Chichikov. 529 00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,732 Chichikov. 530 00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:24,865 Chichikov. Chichikov! 531 00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:26,325 Chichikov! 532 00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:30,620 Have you seen Chichikov? 533 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:32,706 No, no. This is Father Drobney. 534 00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,207 Father, these are the Hollanders. 535 00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:35,625 My children. 536 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,210 Chichikov is his rabbit. 537 00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:38,670 Have you seen him? 538 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,838 I don't think so. 539 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:40,922 Damn! 540 00:30:40,964 --> 00:30:43,175 Oh! 541 00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:44,468 Sorry. 542 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,470 Father, the Hollanders came in today 543 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,804 very much the same way as you did. 544 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:49,639 Are you refugees? 545 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,433 Refugees? 546 00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:54,186 Do you know what I paid for this shirt? 547 00:30:54,227 --> 00:30:58,899 We were at the vatican. We know your boss. 548 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,692 Have you been here long? 549 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,111 Well, Father Drobney's case is quite different from yours. 550 00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:04,821 Yes. 551 00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:07,532 I... am a guest of your government. 552 00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:10,827 See, I try not to make myself a nuisance. 553 00:31:10,827 --> 00:31:14,206 I have a little room on the top floor 554 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:17,042 which I practically never leave. 555 00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:18,418 But how long have you... 556 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:21,004 Listen. Why don't we all wash up? We'll have a little dinner. 557 00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,215 Maybe we can listen to some propaganda broadcasts. 558 00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:24,591 Wait a minute. 559 00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,176 How long have you been here? 560 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:29,388 Well, as I say, Father's case is quite different. 561 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:31,723 How long? A day? A week? A month? 562 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:32,724 How long? 563 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:36,311 It's been closer to... 564 00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:38,939 six years. 565 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,988 Six years. 566 00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:06,466 Uh... Do you still get paid? 567 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:10,345 Have you ever tried to escape? 568 00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:13,598 My duty is to remain here 569 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,393 and someday lead my people once again. 570 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:18,979 But until you lead your people, 571 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:21,314 you stay in your bedroom? 572 00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:23,692 It hasn't been bad. 573 00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:27,070 I, uh, practice my hobby, magic tricks. 574 00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:28,572 That's why he has the rabbit. 575 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:29,614 Pick a card. 576 00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:31,741 Pick a card, any card. 577 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:32,868 Go ahead, I'm not fussy. 578 00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:34,870 Oh, come on, Daddy, pick a card. 579 00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:36,288 Pick. Pick. 580 00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:40,709 Jack of Spades! 581 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:42,752 4 of Clubs. 582 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:45,672 Damn! 583 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:47,674 I know. That's two. 584 00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:50,177 Father also raises white doves. 585 00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:52,095 Doves. White doves. 586 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:55,223 I, uh... transform them before your very eyes. 587 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:58,768 Oh, I'd love to see your birds. 588 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,812 An audience! 589 00:33:00,854 --> 00:33:02,022 I'll do the rings. 590 00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:05,150 Magic production! 591 00:33:05,192 --> 00:33:07,277 Hey! Magic! 592 00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,531 Don't go away. 593 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,373 "Don't go away." 594 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:17,472 "Dear son, I miss you very much. 595 00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:19,766 "Take care of yourself, eat slowly, 596 00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:23,019 "chew your food carefully, and go to bed early. 597 00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:25,522 "Above all, stay away from women. 598 00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,232 "See what happened to me." 599 00:34:27,274 --> 00:34:30,694 I've waxed every floor in this house today twice. 600 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,946 You ought to stick to your dusting. 601 00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:34,489 Too much wax can be dangerous. 602 00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:37,158 Huh! Don't you think I know what I'm doing? 603 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,755 Goddamn floors. 604 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,301 I told you. 605 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:55,385 I know how to wax. 606 00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:57,596 He doesn't know how to walk. 607 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:05,437 Yes. Good. 608 00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:08,607 Comrade Krojack will be with you in just a moment. 609 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,484 I have Ambassador Magee for you in Washington. 610 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,824 - Ah, Mr. Amb... - Excuse me. 611 00:35:17,866 --> 00:35:19,117 Comrade Krojack, 612 00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:21,411 Would you ask him how the market went today? 613 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:22,579 Market? What market? 614 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:23,788 The Wall Street. 615 00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:27,292 I got some mutual funds, couple shares IBM. 616 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:31,838 Also, ask if the government is going through with the antitrust thing. 617 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,301 Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador. 618 00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:38,928 Break his legs! 619 00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:44,684 Comrade Krojack here. 620 00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:47,020 I had a talk with your son. 621 00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:49,773 Yes, a bright boy. 622 00:35:49,814 --> 00:35:51,983 Would you like to hear his remarks? 623 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,943 You spy on us, we spy on you. 624 00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:55,111 Everybody knows it. 625 00:35:55,195 --> 00:35:57,364 Why do we have to pretend it's so unusual? 626 00:35:57,405 --> 00:36:00,200 Ooh. You do admit you spy? 627 00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:02,118 How often? 628 00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,037 All the time. It's no secret. 629 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:06,790 Espionage goes on between our countries every day. 630 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:09,125 But you do admit they are spies? 631 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:11,294 Well, what if they are? What if they are? 632 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:12,420 What's the difference? 633 00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:13,672 Are you gonna tell me that your country 634 00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:15,674 doesn't send spies into the United States? 635 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:18,176 So those people are spies. 636 00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:29,854 That's about all, Barney. 637 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,399 Stay well, and give our best to your aunt and uncle. 638 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,401 Bye-bye. 639 00:36:34,442 --> 00:36:35,985 Boy, are we lucky not to be home. 640 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,737 It's pouring in Newark. 641 00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:39,781 What a thrill. 642 00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:43,702 That was Barney Brakestone. I told him we were all right. 643 00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:47,288 Did you also tell him not to meet us at the airport in the station wagon 644 00:36:47,330 --> 00:36:49,290 because we might be six years late? 645 00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:55,672 Hey, Axel. 646 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,424 Yes, sir? 647 00:36:57,465 --> 00:36:58,800 Hear anything yet? 648 00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:00,051 Ah, no, sir, not yet, 649 00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:01,594 But I'm sure once they get the film developed. 650 00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:02,721 Well, what's taking so long? 651 00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,389 You're in a communist country. 652 00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:06,891 Maybe they don't have all-night drugstores. 653 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,476 One thing, Mrs. Hollander. 654 00:37:08,518 --> 00:37:10,061 Naturally, you're free to use the phone, 655 00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:12,147 but if you could limit your phone calls to just a few dozen. 656 00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:14,899 When Nixon gets his phone bill, 657 00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:16,025 he may have to cancel the space program. 658 00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:21,531 Excuse me. 659 00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:24,909 Did I tell you I got the Kleins? 660 00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:26,953 They're going to look after Seth till we get back. 661 00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,580 That's the worst couple you could have got. 662 00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:31,040 Why? What's wrong with the Kleins? 663 00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:32,417 They have orgies. 664 00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:33,752 How do you know? 665 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:36,129 I catered one. 666 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:40,967 I've been a chef... 667 00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:43,428 You know who you should be cooking for? Castro. 668 00:37:43,470 --> 00:37:45,764 But I run a million-dollar catering business 669 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,974 in Newark. 670 00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:50,059 I... don't threaten me, you clam. 671 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,478 All right. What... What's the problem? 672 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:53,688 Mr. Hollander is the problem. 673 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:56,065 I'm trying to prepare dinner. 674 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,693 Every dish I name, he wants something else. 675 00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:01,613 Yeah, well, I think if Mr. Hollander requests something, you should try... 676 00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:04,449 Mr. Magee, we are in a communist country, 677 00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:07,076 6,000 miles from the United States. 678 00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:10,830 Where do you expect me to find a celery cheesecake? 679 00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:13,833 What did you have planned? 680 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:16,628 - Oysters. - I don't eat oysters. 681 00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:18,463 You have to eat them alive. 682 00:38:18,505 --> 00:38:19,964 I like my food dead... 683 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:21,841 Not sick, not wounded... dead. 684 00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,426 How do you live with this man? 685 00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:24,928 Do you force-feed him? 686 00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:27,305 I know what he likes. I'll just fix him a chicken. 687 00:38:27,347 --> 00:38:28,556 Do you have a double boiler? 688 00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:30,600 No, no, no. No one is allowed in my kitchen. 689 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:33,812 No, no. No, you'll get all my knives mixed up. No! 690 00:38:33,853 --> 00:38:36,397 Nice to know our food is being prepared by an outpatient. 691 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,296 We must be missing something. 692 00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:03,383 Must be missing something. 693 00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:05,134 We must be missing something! 694 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:07,220 - Comrade Krojack! - What is it? 695 00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:08,638 I have some information. 696 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,515 Turn it off. Lights! 697 00:39:10,557 --> 00:39:12,600 This notebook, it was found at airport 698 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,854 at exact spot where spies were taking pictures. 699 00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:27,282 Isn't that nice? A magic show just for us. 700 00:39:27,323 --> 00:39:29,284 I wish I had some popcorn. 701 00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:30,577 How about a pizza? 702 00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:41,212 I am ready now. 703 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,965 A real Showstopper. 704 00:39:44,007 --> 00:39:50,263 I produce two white doves from the thin air. 705 00:39:53,016 --> 00:39:55,476 If you will watch closely, please. 706 00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:01,274 I didn't say it. 707 00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:03,568 If it's for me, I'm free to talk. 708 00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:04,736 Hello. 709 00:40:04,777 --> 00:40:06,738 Yes. Yes, this is Axel Magee. 710 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,449 It's the secret police. 711 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:12,410 Now, they're probably calling to say you're free to go. 712 00:40:12,452 --> 00:40:15,371 Tell me, your spies, they are comfortable? 713 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,874 Yes, thank you very much. Our spies are very comfortable. 714 00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:22,545 Excellent. Would you ask the head spy, please... the fat one... 715 00:40:22,587 --> 00:40:24,464 If he lost a notebook at the airport? 716 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,841 Did you lose a notebook at the airport? 717 00:40:26,883 --> 00:40:28,468 Ah, yeah, yeah. 718 00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:29,969 I had my notes in it about the Millman wedding. 719 00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:33,139 Look. Ask him if I could get it back right away. I need it. 720 00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:36,267 Yes, he did, and he's very anxious to get it back. He needs it. 721 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,604 I'm sure he does, but I'm afraid we need it, too, 722 00:40:39,646 --> 00:40:41,481 for a little while longer. 723 00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:45,401 We almost have it broken. 724 00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,654 That's right, the code. 725 00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:50,949 Troop movements, weapons, supply information. 726 00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,617 I'll-I'll ask him. 727 00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:56,412 He says it's a code for troop movements. 728 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:00,959 Hello? 729 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,920 Uh, that doesn't have anything to do with troop movements. 730 00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,297 That's the Millman and Klinger wedding. 731 00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:08,341 And there are more Millmans than there are Klingers 732 00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:10,343 because the Millmans are paying for the wedding. 733 00:41:10,385 --> 00:41:13,429 They may eat like an army, but they're all civilians. 734 00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:15,598 Oh, of course. 735 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,101 And this drawing of a rocket, 736 00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,185 I see it's only a decoration for a wedding. 737 00:41:19,227 --> 00:41:21,437 Strange, isn't it, 738 00:41:21,521 --> 00:41:23,022 that it happens to be an exact drawing 739 00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:24,649 of one of our spaceships? 740 00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:25,817 What do you say to that? 741 00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:28,194 I say I feel sorry for your astronauts 742 00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,280 because they're going to the moon in tomato aspic! 743 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:36,619 Amusing. And I suppose this gunboat you sketched 744 00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:39,080 is also made of tomato aspic. 745 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:40,456 Of course not! 746 00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,458 The gunboat's made out of sausage! 747 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:43,751 Enough of this. 748 00:41:43,793 --> 00:41:46,004 The evidence is quite clear. 749 00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:49,132 You will pay for your treachery. 750 00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:53,261 We are a young country. We have plenty of time. 751 00:41:53,302 --> 00:41:57,140 We will wait you out until we get our revenge. 752 00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:02,353 Remember, the ideology of the masses will triumph. 753 00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:05,982 Dirty, rotten... 754 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,109 Yep, guess we don't leave. 755 00:42:08,151 --> 00:42:09,986 Well, why can't we leave? 756 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:12,196 Because it would be impolite. 757 00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:15,908 We're guests of honor of that firing squad out there! 758 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,243 No one will harm you, sir. 759 00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,579 You are a citizen of the United States, 760 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:21,831 the most powerful nation on this earth. 761 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,958 Have that put on my stone. 762 00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:28,713 Now... 763 00:42:28,755 --> 00:42:31,883 If you will watch closely, please. 764 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:34,052 - I will take... - I'm getting out of here. 765 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:37,722 Guns or no guns, I'm going back to America! 766 00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:38,765 - Daddy! - Wait! 767 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,808 Mr. Hollander. 768 00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:42,560 Where's my hat? 769 00:42:42,602 --> 00:42:44,020 Mr. Hollander, I really don't think this is wise. 770 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,396 Shut up. Where's my hat? 771 00:42:45,438 --> 00:42:47,398 Look, sir. I planned on calling my father in Washington. 772 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,442 I'm sure he's gonna have an answer to this whole situation. 773 00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:50,777 Don't do me any favors. 774 00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:51,903 I can't hang around here six years. 775 00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:53,488 I got a business to run back home! 776 00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:55,198 Maybe! 777 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,616 Where's my hat? 778 00:42:56,657 --> 00:42:58,284 But, Daddy, they still think we're spies! 779 00:42:58,326 --> 00:43:00,953 All right, let them catch me. They'll find out I'm a caterer. 780 00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:03,915 They want any information, I'll tell them how to slice grapefruit. 781 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,083 There's my hat. 782 00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:07,251 Mr. Hollander, now, look. You're very upset. Now, please, 783 00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:08,252 why don't you get a good night's sleep? 784 00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:10,254 And I'll call my father. We'll settle the whole thing. 785 00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:11,255 Do you know whose fault this is? 786 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,841 This is your fault because this whole thing was your idea. 787 00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:15,843 Mr. Hollander, please reconsider. 788 00:43:15,885 --> 00:43:18,554 Let him go. 789 00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:20,181 Well, go on, Humphrey Bogart! 790 00:43:20,223 --> 00:43:21,974 Go, go. There's the door. 791 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:24,811 You think I won't? 792 00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:27,105 You think I'm afraid of those guys out there? 793 00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:28,356 Oh, why should you be afraid? 794 00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:30,441 They'll only arrest you and torture you. 795 00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:31,984 What's to be afraid of? 796 00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:34,487 Just bite down hard on your cyanide capsule. 797 00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,197 Go on, dear. 798 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,532 Stop trying to stop me. 799 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:38,950 Go on! 800 00:43:38,991 --> 00:43:42,787 Get brainwashed. In your case, it'll probably help. 801 00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:44,080 Tee hee. 802 00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:46,082 You're letting in a draft. 803 00:44:02,598 --> 00:44:03,975 Call your father. 804 00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:17,029 Do you have a girlfriend back home? 805 00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:18,698 Well, there was this girl I was writing to, 806 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,907 but she lost interest. 807 00:44:19,949 --> 00:44:21,159 How do you know? 808 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,161 Well, for one thing, she stopped writing. 809 00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:24,996 That doesn't mean the end. 810 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:26,205 She also got married and pregnant, 811 00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:28,207 and I'm not sure in which order. 812 00:44:28,249 --> 00:44:29,625 That means something. 813 00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:33,504 What's he like, Donald? 814 00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:34,964 I mean, the only thing I know about him 815 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:36,841 is that he's a lawyer with a sinus condition. 816 00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:39,010 - Asthma. - Oh, that's right. 817 00:44:39,051 --> 00:44:40,428 Donald knows about everything, 818 00:44:40,469 --> 00:44:43,806 like whether you should set your clock ahead or back five hours 819 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:45,308 when you go to Europe. 820 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:48,853 Which is it? 821 00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:53,065 You really don't know, do you? 822 00:44:57,737 --> 00:44:59,322 No, no. No, I'm not sure. 823 00:45:03,743 --> 00:45:05,119 Sam? 824 00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:07,288 Sam, can you hear me? 825 00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:08,831 Operator! 826 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:11,751 Operator, you cut my party off! 827 00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:14,045 Well, get him back for me, right away! 828 00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:15,171 Walter, stop shouting. 829 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,173 You'll aggravate your cold. 830 00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:18,841 They can hear you outside. 831 00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:21,010 You're frightening the soldiers. 832 00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:25,014 My partner, Sam Blackwell, 833 00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,682 he caters a sweet 16 party. 834 00:45:26,766 --> 00:45:27,934 I don't want to hear. 835 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:29,852 He gets a special price on the meat. 836 00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:32,855 I'm not interested! 837 00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:34,482 Does he go to our regular butcher? 838 00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:35,942 No, not Sam. 839 00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,026 He's trying to buy cheap. 840 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:38,444 I'm not listening. 841 00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:41,197 Six people go home that night, and what happens? 842 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,740 They get food poisoning. 843 00:45:42,782 --> 00:45:45,368 They're in the hospital because he's looking for bargains. 844 00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,453 Oh, my God, I bet they're suing. 845 00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:48,871 Oh, now you're interested. 846 00:45:48,913 --> 00:45:50,081 Are they? 847 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,874 I'm not telling you. You're not interested. 848 00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:52,917 Tell me. 849 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:55,795 ♪ A foggy day in London town ♪ 850 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,672 Walter, you know what you are? 851 00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,131 A sadist. 852 00:45:59,173 --> 00:46:01,634 Why? A minute ago, you weren't interested! 853 00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:03,803 - I'm not interested! - Good! 854 00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:05,096 ♪ A foggy day in London... ♪ 855 00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,931 Well, are you gonna tell me? 856 00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,141 Are you asking if they're gonna sue us? 857 00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,227 No, they're not gonna sue us. 858 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,728 We're gonna sue them... 859 00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:15,356 for low resistance to tainted meat. 860 00:46:15,398 --> 00:46:17,733 - Walter. - Of course they're gonna sue us! 861 00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:20,152 What do you expect from poisoned people? 862 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:24,448 Be thankful nobody died. 863 00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:26,867 Yes, Marion. 864 00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:28,327 We may make that our slogan. 865 00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:33,833 Hello. 866 00:46:33,874 --> 00:46:35,626 Hello, Sam. How are the children? 867 00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:37,044 Let me have it. Let me have it. 868 00:46:37,086 --> 00:46:38,587 Hello, Sam. 869 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,715 Sam, I want you to hear this. 870 00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,843 I'm coming home, Sam, and when I get back, 871 00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:45,011 I'm gonna rent a car, 872 00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:46,595 And I'm gonna run you over! 873 00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:48,014 Run you right over! 874 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,349 You're through in the catering business, Sam. 875 00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:51,475 You're finished! 876 00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:53,978 You've chopped your last liver! 877 00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:26,093 Look what I found. 878 00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:31,098 A little wine, monsieur? 879 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,360 They're your pajama tops, silly. 880 00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:43,986 Yeah, but I've never seen them quite like that, 881 00:47:44,028 --> 00:47:45,988 Just fluffed, dried, and folded. 882 00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:50,284 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 883 00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:55,873 Why don't you sit down? 884 00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:57,500 Uh... OK. 885 00:48:01,921 --> 00:48:03,089 Oh, sorry. 886 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:05,925 Sorry. 887 00:48:12,598 --> 00:48:14,600 How did your father sound on the phone? 888 00:48:14,642 --> 00:48:18,771 Oh, same as usual... halfway between bleak despair and outright hysteria. 889 00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:23,859 Well, obviously, I failed him again. 890 00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:28,364 He said he'd work something out and call me back. 891 00:48:28,447 --> 00:48:32,076 But it isn't easy being the son of a superdad. 892 00:48:32,118 --> 00:48:35,538 A super... oh, no. No. 893 00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:38,207 When I was... 894 00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:40,876 When I was just a little boy, just a little... a little kid, 895 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,795 and I did something wrong, 896 00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:45,798 my mother used to hit me with a copy of Time magazine... 897 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,717 with my father's picture on the cover. 898 00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:50,136 Every day I read the newspaper, 899 00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:53,597 I read about another diplomatic foul-up somewhere. 900 00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:58,644 I... well, I haven't minded much before. 901 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:02,898 I mean, my failures were only hurting me. 902 00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:05,484 But this time, I'm contaminating your father's business, 903 00:49:05,526 --> 00:49:09,989 your mother's vacation... 904 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,158 And there's Donald. 905 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,913 Your... 906 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:21,208 Your, uh, family... oh, sorry. 907 00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:27,840 Sorry. 908 00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:31,886 Your family seems to like him. 909 00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:35,931 I guess you never really know what you want. 910 00:49:36,015 --> 00:49:42,521 You know, you think you're looking for a certain type, and... 911 00:49:42,563 --> 00:49:46,317 Then, all of a sudden, something happens, and... 912 00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:00,498 Are those guys still out there? 913 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:04,668 The... oh. Y-you mean, the soldiers? 914 00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:09,173 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I guess so. 915 00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:10,633 Why? 916 00:50:10,674 --> 00:50:15,054 Danger really turns me on. 917 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,223 Do you know how many babies 918 00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:20,726 were born out of the Blitz in England? 919 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:27,066 What's that? 920 00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:28,692 Well, it's... Well, you know, 921 00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:32,863 just an ordinary secret passageway. 922 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,741 Well, this... this mansion was built by a duke or something, 923 00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:37,826 a man of rather large sexual appetite. 924 00:50:39,828 --> 00:50:41,914 Well, this was his bedroom, 925 00:50:41,956 --> 00:50:45,251 and this led down towards his m... 926 00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:48,504 His girlfriend's. 927 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:53,008 Oh! Isn't that my bedroom down there? 928 00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:56,220 Oh. Now... now look. I didn't assign you that room because I... 929 00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:59,974 Oh, Axel, this I've got to see. 930 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:17,241 Too much! 931 00:51:19,535 --> 00:51:22,288 Oh! That duke was a freak! 932 00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:25,291 Yeah. They say he used to make her dress up like Juliet. 933 00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:27,001 Then he'd come through the wall 934 00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:29,461 dressed up like, uh, Romeo, 935 00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:32,590 and he'd chase her around the room, swatting her with his mandolin. 936 00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:38,220 I don't dig weird sexual bags, do you? 937 00:51:38,262 --> 00:51:39,471 No, no. 938 00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:45,269 My, uh, sexual bag is quite traditional. 939 00:51:45,311 --> 00:51:48,814 You might even call it obsolete. 940 00:51:48,856 --> 00:51:51,984 Sex is great naturally. 941 00:51:53,277 --> 00:51:55,154 Maybe you've just never swung 942 00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:57,823 with the right partner. 943 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,012 Susan, you all right in there? 944 00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:23,974 - Susan? - Just fine. 945 00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:25,559 Be there in a second, Daddy. 946 00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:28,729 Axel, get out of here. 947 00:52:31,190 --> 00:52:33,734 Susan! Susan! 948 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:37,196 Coming, daddy. 949 00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:38,489 Susan! 950 00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:39,948 I can't move it. I can't move it. 951 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,408 Susan... 952 00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:42,534 Listen, everyone. 953 00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:44,995 - Good news! Good news! - What is it? 954 00:52:45,037 --> 00:52:46,080 I just spoke with Ambassador Magee. 955 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,498 He's arranged for your release. 956 00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:50,125 - Where's Axel? - How did he do it? 957 00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:52,127 Hey. What are you... 958 00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:55,005 You're being exchanged for a communist agent, 959 00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:56,632 the Gray Fox. 960 00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:58,550 - The Gray Fox? - Oh, it's typical. 961 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:00,678 Every time we arrest one of their spies, 962 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,680 they arrest one of our caterers. 963 00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,518 They're sending a plane in for you tomorrow noon. 964 00:53:07,559 --> 00:53:08,894 Wonderful! 965 00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:11,188 Hey, your old man must be quite a guy. 966 00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:12,648 Just think! We'll get our suitcases. 967 00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,692 I can change out of these shoes. 968 00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:15,859 We're going home. 969 00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:17,528 We're gonna get out of here at last. 970 00:53:53,397 --> 00:53:57,276 Only for the Gray Fox would my government do this. 971 00:53:57,317 --> 00:53:59,361 I had plans for you. 972 00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:01,905 In one hour, you would have told me everything. 973 00:54:01,947 --> 00:54:04,491 Stick and stones. 974 00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:06,577 The radio operator just received 975 00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:08,328 an urgent message from Washington. 976 00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:09,997 The Gray Fox is dead. 977 00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:11,123 Dead? 978 00:54:11,165 --> 00:54:12,166 Dead. 979 00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:17,087 Why don't you admit that you're a filthy American spy? 980 00:54:17,129 --> 00:54:19,423 Why don't you play in the runway? 981 00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:20,674 He hung himself. 982 00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,009 He hung him... 983 00:54:22,050 --> 00:54:24,011 Shh! Krojack will be getting word any minute. 984 00:54:24,052 --> 00:54:25,763 Admit it. 985 00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:28,307 If it makes you happy, I admit it. 986 00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:31,769 I'm not from Jersey, I'm not a caterer, and she's not my wife. 987 00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:34,813 She's a U-boat commander. 988 00:54:34,855 --> 00:54:36,899 And then he's gonna grab the Hollanders. 989 00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:39,234 Uh, look, we got to get back to the embassy fast. 990 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:42,029 I'd like to break you in two pieces. 991 00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:44,072 Don't try anything, buster. 992 00:54:44,156 --> 00:54:46,283 We're all black belts in karate. 993 00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:48,952 Hey, oh, whoa! 994 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:53,707 I'd kill you with my bare hands. 995 00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:56,919 Don't move, or I'll blow you to pieces. 996 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,337 You're bluffing. 997 00:54:58,378 --> 00:55:00,631 Try me, hotshot. 998 00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:02,341 That's a finger. 999 00:55:02,382 --> 00:55:04,218 It only looks like a finger. 1000 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:07,054 It happens to be a flesh-colored .45 1001 00:55:07,095 --> 00:55:08,472 with two knuckles, a joint, 1002 00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:10,808 and a little hair. 1003 00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:13,143 Mr. Hollander, your wife would like to see you. 1004 00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:16,730 You will pay for your little game. 1005 00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:19,858 How? Are you forgetting the Gray Fox? 1006 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:21,151 Who's he trying to kid? 1007 00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:24,571 Someday, I will have my chance. 1008 00:55:24,613 --> 00:55:27,407 Your cockamamie threats don't frighten me. 1009 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:29,284 The Gray Fox is dead. 1010 00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:32,704 I've got you over a barrel, and you know it. 1011 00:55:34,206 --> 00:55:35,332 Dead? 1012 00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:37,376 We... we got to get back to the embassy. 1013 00:55:40,629 --> 00:55:43,215 Well, it was nice talking to you. 1014 00:56:02,442 --> 00:56:05,946 Nut of a Gray Fox has to pick today to hang himself! 1015 00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:07,990 If I could get my hands on him, I'd kill him! 1016 00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:09,908 I'd better call Barney Brakestone. 1017 00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:11,326 You better call Seth, too. 1018 00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:13,203 Tell him to go ahead with his applications 1019 00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:15,205 to the foster parents' home. 1020 00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:17,332 What makes a man want to kill himself? 1021 00:56:17,416 --> 00:56:18,959 What do you expect from the Gray Fox? 1022 00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:22,087 Is that a name for a grown-up person? 1023 00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:23,463 Hey! 1024 00:57:19,603 --> 00:57:22,147 At least he's dressed properly. 1025 00:57:22,189 --> 00:57:25,943 Excuse me. Could someone help me out of this, please? 1026 00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:27,861 Don't pay any attention to him. 1027 00:57:27,903 --> 00:57:29,655 I think it's marvelous a man of the cloth 1028 00:57:29,696 --> 00:57:32,950 has a hobby besides just God. 1029 00:57:38,747 --> 00:57:42,417 Hello? Yes, operator. 1030 00:57:42,417 --> 00:57:43,502 Fine. 1031 00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:44,962 Sam Blackwell's calling. 1032 00:57:45,003 --> 00:57:47,798 Ask him if it's still raining. 1033 00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:50,300 Hello, murderer. 1034 00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:52,219 Have you poisoned anybody lately? 1035 00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:53,845 Oh, Walter, be nice. 1036 00:57:53,887 --> 00:57:55,555 We all make mistakes. 1037 00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:57,849 No. I'm not still here. 1038 00:57:57,891 --> 00:57:59,643 I'm in Puerto Rico. 1039 00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:02,813 I'm having a mint julep underneath a palm tree. 1040 00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:04,648 Of course I'm still here! 1041 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:07,651 Who do you think is talking to you? 1042 00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:08,902 What?! 1043 00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:13,532 Two more keeled over? 1044 00:58:13,573 --> 00:58:17,035 They're dropping like flies? 1045 00:58:17,077 --> 00:58:20,372 What do you mean you can't talk anymore? 1046 00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:21,915 Their lawyers just walked in? 1047 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:26,586 Goodbye, Sam. 1048 00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:32,217 He's wiped half of Newark County. 1049 00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:34,136 Have faith in the Lord, my son. 1050 00:58:34,177 --> 00:58:36,346 I have faith, father, 1051 00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,390 and if he's listening now, 1052 00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:41,643 please crush Sam Blackwell's head. 1053 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:59,202 Well, if I'm through as a caterer, I don't have to worry. 1054 00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:01,204 I just found a new business. 1055 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:03,707 I'm going to apply for the straitjacket concession 1056 00:59:03,749 --> 00:59:05,208 in this madhouse. 1057 00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:09,337 What are you doing with the stove? 1058 00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:11,423 - Stove? - Yes, a porcelain stove. 1059 00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:13,967 You don't think Bulgaria has central heating. 1060 00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:16,845 I've been mailing letters in it. 1061 00:59:16,887 --> 00:59:19,514 No wonder I didn't get any answers. 1062 00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:24,186 Walter. 1063 00:59:33,195 --> 00:59:35,614 She's kissing a failure. 1064 00:59:35,655 --> 00:59:38,116 Well, it's her life. 1065 00:59:38,158 --> 00:59:41,244 All of a sudden, it's goodbye to a successful lawyer 1066 00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:43,914 and hello to a psychotic diplomat. 1067 00:59:43,955 --> 00:59:45,624 It's not up to us, is it? 1068 00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:46,875 I know that, Marion. 1069 00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,877 All I want is the right thing for her. 1070 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:50,545 Well, what is the right thing for her? 1071 00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:53,006 What I tell her is the right thing for her, that's what. 1072 00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:56,635 Get away. 1073 00:59:56,676 --> 00:59:57,677 Susan! 1074 00:59:58,762 --> 01:00:01,264 Come up here and stop that funny stuff! 1075 01:00:01,306 --> 01:00:03,100 He sounds angry. 1076 01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:05,727 I'd prefer her to go with that draft dodger. 1077 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:07,437 At least he was a success. 1078 01:00:07,479 --> 01:00:08,855 He beat the draft. 1079 01:00:08,897 --> 01:00:11,775 Had to jump off the roof to do it, but he beat it! 1080 01:00:11,817 --> 01:00:13,610 Oh, listen, Susan. I had an idea. 1081 01:00:13,652 --> 01:00:16,571 Now, the Sultan of Bashir is coming here today. 1082 01:00:16,571 --> 01:00:18,073 - Sultan? - Yeah. The Sultan of Bashir. 1083 01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:19,616 He's a very influential man. 1084 01:00:19,658 --> 01:00:23,995 Now, I can ask him to intercede with the police for your release. 1085 01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:26,206 Wonderful. Dad will love that. 1086 01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:27,749 Yeah. OK. Would you tell him? 1087 01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:30,335 I got to go and change into something more formal. 1088 01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:41,805 Oh, welcome, Your Majesty. Welcome indeed. 1089 01:00:41,847 --> 01:00:43,098 Won't you step into the ambassador's office? 1090 01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,392 I'll get Mr. Magee immediately. 1091 01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:55,986 And sit! 1092 01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:04,411 Who's that... Lawrence of Arabia? 1093 01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:07,080 How do you do, Sultan? 1094 01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:09,332 Sultan? How do you know him? 1095 01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:10,375 Are you ignorant? 1096 01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:12,627 It's the Sultan of Bashir. 1097 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:15,088 What do you do, hang around the UN. Building? 1098 01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:17,799 I saw his picture in Playboy. 1099 01:01:17,841 --> 01:01:20,635 I am here to see Ambassador Magee. 1100 01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:22,846 Won't you have a chair? 1101 01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:24,723 Can I take your sheet? 1102 01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:29,644 I hope you didn't have trouble with the police getting in. 1103 01:01:29,644 --> 01:01:31,188 They wouldn't dare. 1104 01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,355 That's great. 1105 01:01:32,397 --> 01:01:34,149 This clown's running around in an awning 1106 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:36,151 in and out of our embassy. 1107 01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,862 I'm a citizen, and I'm stuck here. 1108 01:01:38,904 --> 01:01:41,656 Daddy, listen. I, uh... oh. 1109 01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:43,283 This is my daughter Susan. 1110 01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:46,536 She graduated third in her class. 1111 01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:50,081 Well, charming. 1112 01:01:50,123 --> 01:01:53,919 You know, I am thinking of adding an American girl 1113 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,670 to my harem. 1114 01:01:55,670 --> 01:01:58,298 Adding? What do you mean adding? 1115 01:01:58,340 --> 01:02:01,051 Marriage, of course. 1116 01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:03,303 You see, I'm a man of few words. 1117 01:02:03,345 --> 01:02:05,931 I happen to be a man of few words, too... 1118 01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:07,682 Drop dead. 1119 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:12,187 No one speaks to me like that! No one! 1120 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:14,606 Listen, you sand clam! 1121 01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:18,026 Your Highness, Mr. Magee will be... 1122 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:20,070 I demand a formal apology from your government! 1123 01:02:20,111 --> 01:02:22,155 - You'll have it. - Who do you think you are? 1124 01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:24,699 A big shot because you own some oil wells or something? 1125 01:02:24,783 --> 01:02:26,618 You're nothing but a cockamamie nut! 1126 01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:28,370 Please, Mr. Hollander, please go! 1127 01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:29,579 Me go? Let him go. 1128 01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:31,748 I pay taxes for this place! 1129 01:02:31,790 --> 01:02:33,708 Did you fill out a 1040 form last year? 1130 01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:36,127 Mr. Hollander, we have business! 1131 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:37,587 Who is this person? 1132 01:02:37,629 --> 01:02:41,091 I just happen to be a little Mr. Nobody from Newark, New Jersey, 1133 01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:45,845 but I don't like the idea of my government doing business with sex maniacs! 1134 01:02:45,887 --> 01:02:48,723 You may consider relationship with us at an end! 1135 01:02:53,645 --> 01:02:54,854 But, Your Highness! 1136 01:02:57,023 --> 01:02:59,609 Good bye, fatso. 1137 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:02,821 Oh, boy. 1138 01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:05,073 Well, at least things can't get any worse. 1139 01:03:18,295 --> 01:03:26,303 Tonight, we have a spontaneous protest-demonstration-type deal. 1140 01:03:27,387 --> 01:03:32,017 Follow the schedule exactly. 1141 01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:39,149 At 7:00, all of those whose initials begin from "A " to "M," 1142 01:03:39,190 --> 01:03:41,901 form in front of the American Embassy 1143 01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:44,612 right here with your posters. 1144 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,323 Show the posters. 1145 01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:54,497 Now, make sure that the posters are facing the newsreel camera. 1146 01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:58,126 7:30, begin the chanting. 1147 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:04,132 There are three approved chants on top of page two, such as... 1148 01:04:04,174 --> 01:04:08,762 "Down with the senseless, imperialist aggressors." 1149 01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:12,932 See if the boys can punch that one up a little bit, please. 1150 01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:16,728 All right. 8:00, your ranks will swell. 1151 01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:21,816 Group "N " to "Z" burning in effigy the American spy. 1152 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:23,902 This will be the effigy of the American spy. 1153 01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:28,239 However, the valiant police line will hold firm. 1154 01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:31,576 This will only increase the righteous indignation of you students. 1155 01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:33,703 You got that? 1156 01:04:34,746 --> 01:04:37,874 Now, I want to see some raised fists 1157 01:04:37,916 --> 01:04:40,710 and excitement out there for a change. 1158 01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:43,713 This will in turn cause the police to overreact, 1159 01:04:43,755 --> 01:04:46,216 make some arrests, and club one of the students 1160 01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:48,009 into insensibility. 1161 01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:49,469 We'll use Punchy zwerken again. 1162 01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:51,846 Where is he? There he is. 1163 01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:54,849 Punchy, you think you got another one in you? 1164 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:58,937 All right. 8:30, start throwing rocks and sticks 1165 01:04:58,978 --> 01:05:00,647 through the embassy windows. 1166 01:05:00,688 --> 01:05:03,108 Did everybody remember to bring their rocks and sticks? 1167 01:05:06,069 --> 01:05:10,407 Well, when you go home, remember to bring back your rocks and sticks! 1168 01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:12,909 You can't make a protest like this. 1169 01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:17,622 All right. Now I want to see some real good wall swarming tonight, 1170 01:05:17,664 --> 01:05:20,125 and I don't want to see the soldiers helping 1171 01:05:20,125 --> 01:05:22,252 to boost everybody over the fence 1172 01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:24,337 the way they were doing on that British Embassy job. 1173 01:05:24,379 --> 01:05:28,007 If you can't swarm by yourself, you don't belong in this profession. 1174 01:05:28,049 --> 01:05:32,220 Finally, the big payoff. 1175 01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:36,474 Here I want to see 15 solid minutes 1176 01:05:36,516 --> 01:05:40,270 of good running amok. 1177 01:05:40,311 --> 01:05:44,774 I want to see some constructive vandalism tonight, 1178 01:05:44,816 --> 01:05:47,360 something creative for a change. 1179 01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:50,905 Then the police move in, restore order, everybody out. 1180 01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:52,740 Any questions? No questions. 1181 01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:54,701 All right. Mishkin, I want a word with you. 1182 01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:56,870 You will do something for me. 1183 01:05:56,911 --> 01:06:00,790 You will throw that in the embassy window. 1184 01:06:00,832 --> 01:06:02,333 A bomb? 1185 01:06:02,333 --> 01:06:04,586 They wouldn't have a chance. 1186 01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:08,381 Has this been OK'ed by upstairs? 1187 01:06:08,423 --> 01:06:10,008 Never mind upstairs. 1188 01:06:10,049 --> 01:06:12,135 I OK, you throw. 1189 01:06:18,224 --> 01:06:20,685 Right in the belly! 1190 01:06:24,564 --> 01:06:29,068 10, 20, 30, 39, 46. 1191 01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:33,031 Here they come. 1192 01:06:49,881 --> 01:06:52,675 Oh, it's just another student demonstration. 1193 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,636 It's nothing. 1194 01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:56,179 It doesn't bother me. Since I got my suitcase back, 1195 01:06:56,221 --> 01:06:57,722 I'm a new woman. 1196 01:06:57,764 --> 01:06:58,890 Will you please discard? 1197 01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:02,685 I mean it. With comfortable shoes, I can face anything. 1198 01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:03,811 Just play your card. 1199 01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:05,271 We're only gonna be here six years, 1200 01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:08,107 and I'd like to finish a game before we leave. 1201 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:21,371 Mr. Kilroy doesn't seem very concerned. 1202 01:07:21,412 --> 01:07:22,830 Yeah. Well, he hasn't had my experience. 1203 01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,832 I know what it's like to be stoned and spit on, 1204 01:07:24,874 --> 01:07:27,794 and believe me, those guys are stoners and spitters. 1205 01:08:00,493 --> 01:08:01,953 Walter, come quick. 1206 01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:04,038 They've got a cloth dummy that looks just like you, 1207 01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:06,082 and they're burning it. 1208 01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:15,466 And big, ugly signs calling us all kinds of names. 1209 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,844 Sticks and stones may break my bones, 1210 01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:19,637 but names will never hurt me. 1211 01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:23,224 Walter, they have sticks and stones! 1212 01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:32,317 Look. I'm gonna call Krojack, 1213 01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:33,776 and I'm gonna protest. 1214 01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:45,622 Burning in effigy? 1215 01:08:45,663 --> 01:08:47,957 Running two minutes late. 1216 01:08:47,999 --> 01:08:50,710 By the way, how did the chanting go? 1217 01:08:50,752 --> 01:08:54,047 I mean, that's absolutely unthinkable! 1218 01:08:54,088 --> 01:08:55,590 Burning in effigy! 1219 01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,467 Unthinkable! 1220 01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:00,178 Never fear. The police will handle it. 1221 01:09:00,219 --> 01:09:02,055 See there? They're making arrests. 1222 01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,560 I'd say it's practically all over now. 1223 01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:08,728 Yeah, and I'd say we should be in the cellar. 1224 01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:10,647 Nonsense! We're Americans! 1225 01:09:10,688 --> 01:09:13,441 It's our duty to show them that we cannot be intimidated. 1226 01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:21,407 - They're trying to hurt us! - Don't panic! Don't panic! 1227 01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:24,452 Everybody remain calm. 1228 01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:26,537 Now panic! 1229 01:09:31,876 --> 01:09:35,922 What have you got in mind for next year, the Gaza Strip? 1230 01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:41,010 What's this? 1231 01:09:41,052 --> 01:09:43,012 It's an inkwell. What do you think it is? 1232 01:09:43,054 --> 01:09:44,806 Don't yell at your only daughter, Walter. 1233 01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:47,684 How could she know? She grew up on ballpoints. 1234 01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:51,229 Let's go see the fun. 1235 01:09:51,270 --> 01:09:54,774 Comrade Krojack, you must stop Mishkin and the bomb. 1236 01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:56,818 We just got a report on the spies. 1237 01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:59,070 They're not spies. 1238 01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:01,072 - Not spies? - Not spies. 1239 01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:04,075 - Not spies? - Not spies. 1240 01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,244 - Not spies? - Not spies. 1241 01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,246 He is a caterer like he said. 1242 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,540 Completely innocent. 1243 01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:15,545 - Positive? - Positive. 1244 01:10:18,506 --> 01:10:20,717 What is the difference? 1245 01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,844 We'll get them anyway. 1246 01:10:41,195 --> 01:10:44,198 I think they've broken through the outer gates. 1247 01:10:44,282 --> 01:10:47,076 But they won't get inside, will they? 1248 01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:49,996 On my waxed floors? They better not. 1249 01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,196 It sounds like it's all over. 1250 01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:26,491 God bless the brutal secret police. 1251 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,785 Hey. What's this? 1252 01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:30,036 Hold it! 1253 01:11:32,997 --> 01:11:35,082 Careful. 1254 01:11:35,124 --> 01:11:36,459 It's a bomb. 1255 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:52,141 Stop! 1256 01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,145 Don't move. 1257 01:11:56,187 --> 01:11:57,480 Don't put it down. 1258 01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:01,108 Can I get up? 1259 01:12:02,109 --> 01:12:05,780 Careful, easy. 1260 01:12:15,706 --> 01:12:16,833 Take it. 1261 01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,835 I'm sorry. I can't. 1262 01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:24,298 The... the slightest jar of that thing, 1263 01:12:24,382 --> 01:12:27,009 this whole place is gonna go sky-high. 1264 01:12:27,051 --> 01:12:28,845 Walter, keep calm. 1265 01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:34,308 Now I'm gonna try and dismantle it. 1266 01:12:34,308 --> 01:12:36,018 I've had experience with these things. 1267 01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,688 A lot of experience? 1268 01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:40,398 Some. 1269 01:12:41,607 --> 01:12:44,026 Now I'm gonna need a screwdriver. 1270 01:12:44,068 --> 01:12:45,319 What size? 1271 01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:49,115 Move your feet. 1272 01:12:50,783 --> 01:12:52,243 Well, I brought these along. 1273 01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:54,787 I heard about the plumbing over here. 1274 01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:59,750 A... a medium. Small, small. 1275 01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:09,552 I want everybody to leave the room. 1276 01:13:10,803 --> 01:13:13,598 Kilroy, will you get... 1277 01:13:13,639 --> 01:13:16,475 Will you get back here and take the ladies out? 1278 01:13:19,020 --> 01:13:22,106 Well, let's go. You heard what he said. 1279 01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:26,193 I can't move. I'm not allowed to jar. 1280 01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:27,820 Come, ladies. There's no sense 1281 01:13:27,862 --> 01:13:29,989 in all of us being torn limb from limb. 1282 01:13:32,116 --> 01:13:34,118 You go, Susan. I'm staying with your father. 1283 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,578 We came on the family plan. 1284 01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,747 We'll go that way. 1285 01:13:37,788 --> 01:13:40,917 Get out of here, Marion. You're making my thigh itch. 1286 01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:42,084 Please, Mrs. Hollander. 1287 01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:43,628 Now go ahead, screwdrive. 1288 01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:46,047 I sat with him through two weeks of the mumps. 1289 01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:48,215 This couldn't be any worse. 1290 01:14:06,734 --> 01:14:08,819 Stop trembling. 1291 01:14:08,861 --> 01:14:12,615 Walter, don't hold that so close to your stomach. 1292 01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,703 I think I'm going to belch. 1293 01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:22,166 Dear, have a tummy. 1294 01:14:38,391 --> 01:14:39,642 Would you hurry up? 1295 01:14:39,684 --> 01:14:43,437 Would you, plea... Walter, be patient. 1296 01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:46,857 I got to go to the bathroom. 1297 01:14:50,027 --> 01:14:51,362 Would you hold this? 1298 01:15:30,609 --> 01:15:31,986 It's disarmed. 1299 01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:35,781 You can relax, sir. 1300 01:15:47,084 --> 01:15:50,254 Are you quite sure that thing is completely safe? 1301 01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:51,756 Completely safe. 1302 01:15:51,756 --> 01:15:53,466 When it comes to bombs... 1303 01:15:53,507 --> 01:15:55,885 I know exactly what I'm doing. 1304 01:16:06,729 --> 01:16:08,064 Come in. 1305 01:16:10,274 --> 01:16:13,611 - Hi. - Hi. 1306 01:16:15,071 --> 01:16:16,530 Did you sleep all right? 1307 01:16:16,530 --> 01:16:18,783 Naw. I was up most of the night 1308 01:16:18,824 --> 01:16:21,410 just waiting for another explosion. 1309 01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:23,996 Yeah. I know what you mean. 1310 01:16:24,038 --> 01:16:25,289 If only my father were here. 1311 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:26,957 He'd know what to do. 1312 01:16:26,999 --> 01:16:32,463 Axel, why couldn't we plan an escape? 1313 01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:34,757 Axel, we can do it. 1314 01:16:34,799 --> 01:16:36,092 Susan, you're nuts. 1315 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:37,927 I know we can do it! 1316 01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:40,262 No. Ten minutes after you try to escape, 1317 01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,640 I can picture Krojack wearing your father's shirt. 1318 01:16:42,681 --> 01:16:43,849 But they'll never catch us. 1319 01:16:43,891 --> 01:16:46,143 Susan, look. An escape requires 1320 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:49,438 timing, coordination, and good physical condition. 1321 01:16:49,480 --> 01:16:52,566 Your father gets out of breath if I ask him to pass the salt. 1322 01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:55,778 Axel, for once, take the initiative. 1323 01:16:55,820 --> 01:16:57,988 Don't let things happen to you. 1324 01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:00,282 Susan. Together, we can do it. 1325 01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,118 Wait a minute, Susan. Will you be reasonable? 1326 01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:05,162 I'm with the foreign service, not the CIA. 1327 01:17:05,204 --> 01:17:07,581 That's it. 1328 01:17:07,581 --> 01:17:09,250 The CIA. 1329 01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:10,960 Look. If you're talking about a escape, 1330 01:17:11,001 --> 01:17:12,795 you're talking to the wrong guy. 1331 01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:15,172 I don't escape. That's not my field. 1332 01:17:15,214 --> 01:17:17,258 When I enter a place, I stay. 1333 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,802 You are a coward! 1334 01:17:19,844 --> 01:17:21,137 That's what you are! 1335 01:17:21,178 --> 01:17:24,014 You are a coward! 1336 01:17:24,056 --> 01:17:27,685 Marion, have you ever seen a man with a hernia 1337 01:17:27,726 --> 01:17:29,436 run from a tank? 1338 01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:34,942 You want your daughter to get back to Donald, don't you? 1339 01:17:38,237 --> 01:17:39,905 Bring on the CIA. 1340 01:17:43,993 --> 01:17:47,037 I handle the local CIA around here. 1341 01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,039 Go ahead, Mr. Mirik. 1342 01:17:49,039 --> 01:17:51,333 Well, I think we're gonna need identification 1343 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:54,545 for a party of three. 1344 01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:56,005 Uh, let's see. We have... 1345 01:17:56,046 --> 01:17:59,175 three Bandini"Brothers, acrobats. 1346 01:18:03,470 --> 01:18:06,056 Oh, here we go. Here we go. 1347 01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:09,685 Mr. and Mrs. John Randall and son. 1348 01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:12,646 Our son happens to be a girl. 1349 01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:16,358 Walter, don't make trouble. 1350 01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:18,402 Well, you just dress her like a boy. 1351 01:18:18,444 --> 01:18:21,447 OK. You are the Randall family now. 1352 01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,658 Here's your passports. You have identification, 1353 01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:26,785 all other pertinent information, 1354 01:18:26,827 --> 01:18:28,996 you know, stuff like that there. 1355 01:18:29,038 --> 01:18:31,373 Well, how do they get out of the embassy building? 1356 01:18:31,415 --> 01:18:35,294 Well, I figured a perfect setup would be 1357 01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:40,758 you'd throw a diplomats party in there tomorrow afternoon. 1358 01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:42,259 Aha. OK. I'll arrange that. 1359 01:18:42,259 --> 01:18:45,971 Tomorrow afternoon? I'll have to start dusting right away. 1360 01:18:46,013 --> 01:18:50,226 And when the guests start leaving, you slip out with them. 1361 01:18:50,267 --> 01:18:51,894 We take it from there. 1362 01:18:51,936 --> 01:18:53,604 OK. I'll get the invitations out right away. 1363 01:18:53,646 --> 01:18:56,232 - It sounds just perfect. - Right. 1364 01:18:56,273 --> 01:18:58,025 Well, Mr. Hollander? 1365 01:18:58,067 --> 01:18:59,318 Now do you feel more secure 1366 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,362 about the United states government? 1367 01:19:01,403 --> 01:19:03,072 Ahem. 1368 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:28,597 All right now. Just once more. Who are you? 1369 01:19:28,639 --> 01:19:30,933 I'm John Randall, I live in Washington, D.C., 1370 01:19:30,975 --> 01:19:33,143 and I work for the Department of the Interior. 1371 01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,354 I'm married, and I have 4 children. 1372 01:19:35,396 --> 01:19:36,981 I was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 1373 01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:39,942 I went to school in California and majored in agriculture. 1374 01:19:39,984 --> 01:19:42,111 I entered the government under Roosevelt. 1375 01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:43,821 Who's gonna ask me these questions? 1376 01:19:43,862 --> 01:19:45,030 Mr. Hollander, if you're stopped, 1377 01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:46,699 your answers must be consistent. 1378 01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:48,701 Nobody's gonna believe I'm Sam Willard. 1379 01:19:48,742 --> 01:19:50,744 John Randall. 1380 01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:52,788 What are you doing in Europe? 1381 01:19:52,830 --> 01:19:54,039 I'm making a tour. 1382 01:19:54,081 --> 01:19:57,126 We're going all over Europe and see all the stuff. 1383 01:19:57,167 --> 01:19:59,962 I'm on a tour. 1384 01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,297 You can't wear the gray. 1385 01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:03,090 You better wear the dark blue flannel. 1386 01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:05,134 Blue is for parties. 1387 01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:06,635 Gray here is for escaping. 1388 01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:08,053 I'm wearing the gray. 1389 01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:09,888 What are you doing in Europe? 1390 01:20:09,930 --> 01:20:11,557 And I'm his lovely wife Carmen. 1391 01:20:11,598 --> 01:20:15,519 I'm also the former Miss Wisconsin of 1948. 1392 01:20:15,519 --> 01:20:17,604 They believe that, we win the Cold War. 1393 01:20:17,646 --> 01:20:19,315 Where are you staying? 1394 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:25,154 The Grand Hotel for a week, and then we fly to Malaysia. 1395 01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:29,158 Walter, I am telling you the blue suit. 1396 01:20:29,199 --> 01:20:30,993 I'm wearing the gray. 1397 01:20:31,035 --> 01:20:33,037 All right. 1398 01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:35,956 You don't dress, I don't escape. 1399 01:20:49,178 --> 01:20:51,180 My girdle's killing me. 1400 01:20:51,221 --> 01:20:53,140 So is mine. 1401 01:20:53,432 --> 01:20:55,726 Have you ever fired a pistol? 1402 01:20:55,768 --> 01:20:56,810 A pistol? 1403 01:20:57,895 --> 01:21:01,357 How often is there a gunfight in the catering business? 1404 01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:04,485 It's really quite safe. 1405 01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:08,906 It can't possibly fire unless you pull that trigger. 1406 01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:11,033 Boy, that's a beauty. 1407 01:21:11,075 --> 01:21:13,660 I don't think he should carry that gun. 1408 01:21:13,702 --> 01:21:15,954 They're dangerous, and he doesn't know how to use one. 1409 01:21:15,996 --> 01:21:17,831 I know how to use one. 1410 01:21:17,915 --> 01:21:19,541 When did you ever use a gun? 1411 01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:21,085 Plenty of times. Don't worry. 1412 01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:22,378 When? 1413 01:21:22,419 --> 01:21:25,255 I want to carry it. 1414 01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:27,424 If he carries that gun, I don't go. 1415 01:21:27,466 --> 01:21:31,095 Marion, why do you want to put a damper on everything? 1416 01:21:31,136 --> 01:21:33,055 All right! All right! Take it, 1417 01:21:33,097 --> 01:21:35,974 But if you're gonna kill yourself, don't come crying to me! 1418 01:21:36,016 --> 01:21:38,560 All right, now. Look. The last step. 1419 01:21:38,602 --> 01:21:41,605 What do you do when you leave here? 1420 01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:42,815 Well... 1421 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:45,401 We get into the Randall car. 1422 01:21:45,442 --> 01:21:48,612 The chauffeur takes us to the park, the CIA man meets us there. 1423 01:21:48,654 --> 01:21:50,697 The password is "The grass is green." 1424 01:21:50,739 --> 01:21:52,282 Right, right. OK. 1425 01:21:52,324 --> 01:21:55,869 OK. Now we'll meet in my room when it's time to go. 1426 01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,246 Good luck. 1427 01:22:09,383 --> 01:22:12,094 You dirty rat. 1428 01:22:14,388 --> 01:22:15,931 The blue flannel. 1429 01:22:46,170 --> 01:22:47,296 All set? 1430 01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:50,507 People are starting to leave. 1431 01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:51,592 It's time. 1432 01:22:51,633 --> 01:22:53,010 - Where's Susan? - Well, I... 1433 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:04,938 Susan! My son! 1434 01:23:06,565 --> 01:23:07,858 My God! 1435 01:23:27,961 --> 01:23:30,130 Oh. The dirty... 1436 01:23:35,719 --> 01:23:38,138 I think we're getting out of here just in time. 1437 01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:40,057 Well, y-you head for the office. 1438 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,850 He'll... uh, she'll follow. 1439 01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:43,894 Remember, you're a boy. 1440 01:23:43,936 --> 01:23:45,354 Act like one. 1441 01:23:51,818 --> 01:23:53,320 Uh, Mr. Magee. 1442 01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,371 That's the state Department for you. 1443 01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,546 You know, Walter, I can tell you're carrying a gun. 1444 01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:11,922 Never. 1445 01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:13,966 There's a big bulge around your middle. 1446 01:24:14,007 --> 01:24:15,217 That's the way I'm built. 1447 01:24:15,259 --> 01:24:17,928 That's not the way you're built. You don't have a handle. 1448 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:23,100 Walter, people are staring at your bulge. 1449 01:24:23,141 --> 01:24:26,603 ♪ Foggy day in London town ♪ 1450 01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:28,564 We haven't met, have we? 1451 01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:30,566 Oh. I'm John Randall. 1452 01:24:30,607 --> 01:24:31,984 I'm from Washington, D.C. 1453 01:24:32,025 --> 01:24:34,027 I work for the Department of the Interior. 1454 01:24:34,111 --> 01:24:36,029 I'm married and have 4 children. 1455 01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:37,823 I was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 1456 01:24:37,864 --> 01:24:40,325 went to school in California, majored in agriculture. 1457 01:24:40,367 --> 01:24:42,578 I entered the government under the Roosevelt regime. 1458 01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:44,037 My name is John Randall. 1459 01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:46,540 And I'm his lovely wife Carmen. 1460 01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:47,874 - How do you do? - Charmed. 1461 01:24:47,916 --> 01:24:49,835 Yasin Kasnar here, 1462 01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:53,672 and this is Countess Wilhelmina Bordoni. 1463 01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,424 Charmed. 1464 01:24:55,465 --> 01:24:58,594 This wine is extraordinary. Have you tasted it? 1465 01:24:58,635 --> 01:25:01,054 No, I haven't. 1466 01:25:06,310 --> 01:25:08,228 Rather diffident and ethereal. 1467 01:25:08,270 --> 01:25:10,272 Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Randall? 1468 01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:14,693 Well, I'd say that the bouquet was subtly demure 1469 01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:16,320 and playfully articulate. 1470 01:25:16,361 --> 01:25:18,655 I got that from a bottle of ketchup. 1471 01:25:18,697 --> 01:25:19,698 Charming. 1472 01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:24,202 How long have you been here? 1473 01:25:24,244 --> 01:25:26,330 - Two weeks. - Three day... 1474 01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:28,206 - Three days. - Two week... 1475 01:25:28,248 --> 01:25:30,250 We've been here two weeks and three days. 1476 01:25:31,585 --> 01:25:34,171 - We're staying at the big... - I'm at the strand Hotel. 1477 01:25:34,212 --> 01:25:37,049 - It's very nice. - I don't like it. 1478 01:25:37,090 --> 01:25:38,342 We... it's getting late. 1479 01:25:38,383 --> 01:25:40,469 We must be going. Come, Walter. 1480 01:25:40,510 --> 01:25:42,137 Walter? 1481 01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:44,806 Uh... oh. Isn't that amusing? 1482 01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:46,099 She doesn't even know my name. 1483 01:25:46,183 --> 01:25:48,894 - It's Sam Randall. - John. 1484 01:25:48,935 --> 01:25:50,646 Yes. John Sam. 1485 01:25:50,687 --> 01:25:53,106 Back in Washington, that makes for a lot of trouble. 1486 01:25:53,190 --> 01:25:55,442 They get my name mixed up with Lyndon Johnson, 1487 01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:58,362 you know, Johnson, Sam John. 1488 01:25:58,403 --> 01:26:00,072 Well, let's be going. 1489 01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:01,531 We're off to Afskhanistan. 1490 01:26:01,573 --> 01:26:03,283 Tunisia. 1491 01:26:03,325 --> 01:26:05,827 Yeah. Afskhanistan, Tunisia. 1492 01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:08,372 - Well, let's go, Marion. - Marion? 1493 01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:10,749 I'm his lovely wife Carmen. 1494 01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:13,210 - Charming. - Yes, goodbye. 1495 01:26:17,714 --> 01:26:23,345 Well, Marion, this is it. 1496 01:26:23,387 --> 01:26:25,972 Walter, if anything happens, I want you to know... 1497 01:26:26,014 --> 01:26:28,016 Oh, stop talking about that. 1498 01:26:28,058 --> 01:26:30,018 What's the worst thing could happen to us? 1499 01:26:30,060 --> 01:26:33,021 We get caught. Big deal. 1500 01:26:33,063 --> 01:26:36,191 They give us a fast trial, torture us a little bit. 1501 01:26:36,233 --> 01:26:37,734 All we have to remember to do 1502 01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:41,363 is to bite down hard on that cyanide capsule. 1503 01:26:41,405 --> 01:26:45,701 Marion, have I ever let you down? 1504 01:26:45,742 --> 01:26:49,287 I know I'm not the easiest man in the world to get along with. 1505 01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:52,749 As a matter of fact, you might be amazed, 1506 01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:55,877 but there are plenty of women who might think I was unpleasant. 1507 01:26:55,919 --> 01:26:58,922 - No! - Honest. 1508 01:27:05,178 --> 01:27:09,474 Mrs. Hollander, I'm the luckiest guy alive. 1509 01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:12,686 Everybody set? 1510 01:27:12,728 --> 01:27:14,730 Well, the Randalls are ready. 1511 01:27:14,771 --> 01:27:16,398 OK. Now, remember, once you're past the guards, 1512 01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,483 don't stop for anybody. 1513 01:27:18,525 --> 01:27:20,026 Ok. Let's go. 1514 01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:23,864 Good evening. Lovely party. 1515 01:27:26,450 --> 01:27:29,035 Oh, Mr. Hollander. 1516 01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:33,081 Oh, no, no. I mean, Mr. Randall of Milwaukee. 1517 01:27:33,123 --> 01:27:34,708 And his lovely wife Carmen. 1518 01:27:34,750 --> 01:27:36,376 We were just leaving. 1519 01:27:37,711 --> 01:27:41,590 But I don't see how you can be leaving, Madam x. 1520 01:27:41,631 --> 01:27:43,633 You see, we have taken your car. 1521 01:27:43,675 --> 01:27:46,970 Ow! Dad! 1522 01:27:47,012 --> 01:27:49,347 Dad, listen. 1523 01:27:49,389 --> 01:27:51,391 Krojack broke in here, and he's trying to take... 1524 01:27:51,433 --> 01:27:53,477 He didn't break in. I invited him. 1525 01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:55,228 You invited him? 1526 01:27:55,228 --> 01:27:57,856 You are the Hollanders, I presume. 1527 01:27:57,898 --> 01:27:59,024 That's right. 1528 01:27:59,065 --> 01:28:01,318 Yes, and this is my lovely son Susan. 1529 01:28:01,359 --> 01:28:03,195 Oh, he's really a girl. 1530 01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:06,448 Our other boy's at Camp Tonawanda until Tuesday. 1531 01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:08,200 You'll be happy to learn that we've completed 1532 01:28:08,241 --> 01:28:09,826 arrangements for your release. 1533 01:28:09,868 --> 01:28:12,412 Now you're talking. 1534 01:28:13,663 --> 01:28:15,207 Arrangements? What arrangements? 1535 01:28:15,248 --> 01:28:17,459 In the interest of justice, they'll stand trial. 1536 01:28:17,501 --> 01:28:18,710 They'll be given a heavy sentence. 1537 01:28:18,752 --> 01:28:20,462 I will intervene. 1538 01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:23,381 It will be changed to a severe reprimand and a token sentence, 1539 01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:24,841 30 days at the most. 1540 01:28:24,883 --> 01:28:26,510 30 days? 1541 01:28:26,551 --> 01:28:28,720 - 30 days? - 30 days? 1542 01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:30,972 There are some waivers they'll have to sign. 1543 01:28:31,014 --> 01:28:32,766 30 days? 1544 01:28:32,808 --> 01:28:34,684 Dad, you can't do this to... 1545 01:28:36,478 --> 01:28:38,980 Axel, stay out. This is a fair deal. 1546 01:28:39,022 --> 01:28:40,440 Krojack gets credit for the arrest, 1547 01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:42,400 and he gives me back that tape recording, 1548 01:28:42,442 --> 01:28:44,945 and he's also agreed to attack me viciously in the press. 1549 01:28:44,986 --> 01:28:47,823 Now that alone will win the governorship for me in a landslide. 1550 01:28:47,864 --> 01:28:49,241 Yeah, but, Dad, what about the Hollanders? 1551 01:28:49,282 --> 01:28:50,408 They got the Millman wedding, 1552 01:28:50,450 --> 01:28:52,244 Seth is in camp, and Donald is waiting. 1553 01:28:52,285 --> 01:28:54,412 Oh. What's 30 days to them? 1554 01:29:00,293 --> 01:29:02,879 Let me get this straight. 1555 01:29:02,921 --> 01:29:04,631 You're gonna turn us over to him? 1556 01:29:04,673 --> 01:29:07,425 Mr. Hollander, it was not an easy decision. 1557 01:29:07,467 --> 01:29:09,678 On the one hand, we want to protect you, 1558 01:29:09,719 --> 01:29:11,388 and on the other, we must protect 1559 01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:13,557 the best interests of the United States. 1560 01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:15,392 I thought they were the same thing. 1561 01:29:15,433 --> 01:29:18,562 I'm afraid you don't understand these matters. 1562 01:29:18,603 --> 01:29:22,399 No, but I'm beginning to understand. 1563 01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:24,067 You guys are beautiful. 1564 01:29:24,109 --> 01:29:26,778 You make all the goofs, and someone else pays. 1565 01:29:26,820 --> 01:29:29,531 Mr. Hollander, you've caused us enough embarrassment. 1566 01:29:29,573 --> 01:29:32,742 Embarrassment? Is that what we were to you, 1567 01:29:32,784 --> 01:29:33,952 An embarrassment? 1568 01:29:33,994 --> 01:29:35,412 That's quite enough! 1569 01:29:35,412 --> 01:29:36,913 Now I'm ordering you to... 1570 01:29:36,913 --> 01:29:39,249 Ordering? You're ordering me? 1571 01:29:40,333 --> 01:29:42,252 I think you got things backwards. 1572 01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:45,213 I'm a taxpayer. I don't work for you. 1573 01:29:45,255 --> 01:29:47,257 You work for me, 1574 01:29:47,299 --> 01:29:49,134 and if you were working for me as a caterer, 1575 01:29:49,175 --> 01:29:51,469 you wouldn't last through the first course. 1576 01:29:51,511 --> 01:29:55,432 If you're quite finished, I have a police wagon waiting outside. 1577 01:29:55,473 --> 01:29:59,978 Walter, your bulge, it's worse than ever. 1578 01:30:02,480 --> 01:30:05,609 Now you stand right where you are. 1579 01:30:05,650 --> 01:30:08,695 Oh, here's that grimy little finger again. 1580 01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,947 Wrong again, buster. 1581 01:30:10,989 --> 01:30:12,282 Now get in that closet. 1582 01:30:12,324 --> 01:30:14,075 We're getting out of here. 1583 01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:15,160 Move! 1584 01:30:17,787 --> 01:30:18,788 Reason with him. 1585 01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:20,165 - Dad, I can't. - Don't argue! 1586 01:30:20,206 --> 01:30:22,959 For once in your life, do something right! 1587 01:30:23,001 --> 01:30:25,587 Yeah. Yeah, I think I should. 1588 01:30:31,051 --> 01:30:33,261 Will you get out of there? 1589 01:30:34,679 --> 01:30:36,806 What a team! Whoo! 1590 01:30:36,848 --> 01:30:38,391 All right. Let's get out of here. 1591 01:30:38,391 --> 01:30:41,227 In what? They took the Randalls' car. 1592 01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:43,813 - That's right. - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1593 01:30:43,855 --> 01:30:45,523 There's Krojack's paddy wagon. 1594 01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:49,194 Look. I can put this on and pretend to be him... 1595 01:30:49,235 --> 01:30:50,528 Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute. 1596 01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:51,863 That's no good. I don't speak the language. 1597 01:30:51,905 --> 01:30:53,531 We'll never get past the guards. 1598 01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:10,256 I'm coming along to see that your rights are protected. 1599 01:31:18,682 --> 01:31:19,891 Mr. Ambassador? 1600 01:31:29,067 --> 01:31:31,653 - To where? - People's Park, 1601 01:31:31,695 --> 01:31:33,738 to look for an organ grinder. 1602 01:32:09,566 --> 01:32:11,276 - They're not here! - They're not here? 1603 01:32:11,317 --> 01:32:12,610 - The bus! - The bus! 1604 01:32:43,391 --> 01:32:44,893 Good afternoon, Mr. Hollander. 1605 01:32:44,934 --> 01:32:47,228 You will proceed to the interior railroad station. 1606 01:32:47,270 --> 01:32:49,731 Your contact there will be the ticket agent. 1607 01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:52,734 This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. 1608 01:34:03,721 --> 01:34:05,473 You know something? I think this sofa 1609 01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:07,183 would look better over here. 1610 01:34:14,065 --> 01:34:16,025 We must be at the Grand Hotel. 1611 01:34:41,176 --> 01:34:42,260 Oh, isn't that nice? 1612 01:34:42,302 --> 01:34:43,803 The ambassador came down to see us off. 1613 01:34:43,845 --> 01:34:45,013 Get back! 1614 01:34:48,391 --> 01:34:50,518 It's a trap. They got us. 1615 01:34:50,560 --> 01:34:52,353 Oh. We almost made it. 1616 01:34:52,395 --> 01:34:53,771 Wait. Wait a minute. I got an idea. Come on. 1617 01:34:53,813 --> 01:34:54,939 Come here. 1618 01:35:04,282 --> 01:35:06,743 Have my wives come down yet? 1619 01:35:06,784 --> 01:35:10,079 No, sir, but their luggage is in the luggage room there, 1620 01:35:10,121 --> 01:35:11,706 and your car's ready out front. 1621 01:35:12,749 --> 01:35:16,169 Sultan. Excuse me. 1622 01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:17,879 Would you come over here? 1623 01:36:08,304 --> 01:36:10,181 All right. Now what do we do? 1624 01:36:10,223 --> 01:36:12,684 We lost our contact. 1625 01:36:12,725 --> 01:36:13,726 Look! 1626 01:36:15,103 --> 01:36:16,562 There must be an airport near. 1627 01:36:26,030 --> 01:36:29,075 A plane! We got it made! We got it made! 1628 01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:39,127 Where? Where? 1629 01:36:39,168 --> 01:36:40,628 There doesn't seem to be any airport. 1630 01:36:40,670 --> 01:36:42,755 I can see that. 1631 01:36:42,839 --> 01:36:44,507 What now? 1632 01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:49,012 I don't know. There's hardly any gas left in the car. 1633 01:36:49,053 --> 01:36:51,681 Zorkie, zorkie, zorkie. 1634 01:36:51,723 --> 01:36:54,767 This is where I was supposed to escape six years ago. 1635 01:36:54,851 --> 01:36:58,187 I was told go to a little red barn. 1636 01:36:58,229 --> 01:37:01,441 A red barn? Well, that's a red barn. 1637 01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:03,359 It's a red barn! 1638 01:37:21,919 --> 01:37:23,171 Hello, buddy. 1639 01:37:23,212 --> 01:37:24,756 Where was you? 1640 01:37:24,797 --> 01:37:26,424 I've been waiting for six years. 1641 01:37:28,051 --> 01:37:29,302 How many can you take? 1642 01:37:29,344 --> 01:37:33,056 Two, maybe three at the most. 1643 01:37:33,097 --> 01:37:35,058 You three go. 1644 01:37:35,099 --> 01:37:36,809 Let Susan stay here. 1645 01:37:36,809 --> 01:37:39,604 My daughter stay here and go to jail? 1646 01:37:39,645 --> 01:37:41,647 Well, no, sir, not necessarily. 1647 01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:45,443 She could have complete immunity... 1648 01:37:45,485 --> 01:37:48,404 as the wife of a diplomat. 1649 01:37:48,446 --> 01:37:51,074 What? Susan marry you? 1650 01:37:51,115 --> 01:37:53,326 You got to be some kind of a nut! 1651 01:38:01,334 --> 01:38:02,960 Wait a minute. A ring. We need a ring. 1652 01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:04,003 I got one. 1653 01:38:05,838 --> 01:38:07,256 Come on! Hurry up! 1654 01:38:07,256 --> 01:38:09,967 Hold that. 1655 01:38:10,009 --> 01:38:11,844 Oh, thank you very much. 1656 01:38:11,928 --> 01:38:13,137 Start, start. 1657 01:38:13,179 --> 01:38:18,559 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 1658 01:38:18,601 --> 01:38:20,395 "Dearly beloved." 1659 01:38:20,436 --> 01:38:23,398 Ah. Dearly... 1660 01:38:29,695 --> 01:38:31,739 Well, congratulations, kids. 1661 01:38:31,781 --> 01:38:32,782 Thank you, Dad. 1662 01:38:32,824 --> 01:38:34,784 - And good luck. - Thank you, sir. 1663 01:38:34,826 --> 01:38:37,036 She's gonna need it. 1664 01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,205 All right, Flash. Up, up, and away. 1665 01:38:40,498 --> 01:38:43,334 - Does your plane have a radio? - Yes. 1666 01:38:43,376 --> 01:38:45,002 Good. You can wire your silverware pattern. 1667 01:38:45,044 --> 01:38:47,004 Bye, Mommy. 1668 01:39:11,237 --> 01:39:14,115 Well, we made it. 1669 01:39:15,158 --> 01:39:16,200 Not yet, buddy. 1670 01:39:16,242 --> 01:39:18,369 We are losing altitude real fast. 1671 01:39:18,411 --> 01:39:21,956 We've got get rid of all excess weight fast! 1672 01:39:21,998 --> 01:39:24,125 All right, Marion, unload. 1673 01:39:24,167 --> 01:39:25,418 Oh, Walter. 1674 01:39:25,460 --> 01:39:26,669 Unload! 1675 01:39:45,188 --> 01:39:47,565 ♪ Don't drink the water ♪ 120907

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