All language subtitles for the_big_bang_english_544786

Download movie subtitles or
Load it directly from url
on TheSubtitles.net

( upbeat music playing )

( crackling )

( popping )

( buzzing )

( clinks )

( pings )

( groans )

Where is she?

Man:
What the fuck do you care?

I do. I do care.

Is she alive?

You want to know where she is, Cruz?

You want to know how she is?

Then start talking.
And I mean everything.

Every last fucking detail.

I can't see.
I need a doctor.

You'll get one, Ned, as soon as you
tell us the what-the-fuck and why-for.

I think he's faking.
You don't just go blind.

I think the motherfucker's faking.

No, I've heard of this.

Head trauma.

You'll see again.

Just in time to look the judge
in the eye when he sentences you.

Sentences me?

- For what?
- Take your pick.

You left quite a trail, Ned.

- Five dead.
- Five?

- Mmm.
- Yeah, five.

Maybe I ought to see a--

See what, a lawyer?
What the fuck you need a lawyer for?

- You're not under arrest, Ned.
- So why the cuffs?

Why won't you tell me where she is?
lf she's all right?

'Cause I'm the law, Cruz.

I ask the questions,
you answer them.

My client,

is he alive?

You really don't know?

( coughs )

Bullshit. He's playing us.
I can fucking hear him thinking.

If we let him get away with this,
we're gonna be here all night.

We don't want you to think,
Cruz, all right?

We don't want you to ask questions.
We just want you to respond.

Huh? Like a reflex.
With the truth, compadre.

( chair clangs )

I'm a human lie detector.

Now if you don't tell me the truth
I'll beat it out of you.

And I'll love every minute of it.

AII right, all right.

lt's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.

I got you.

Okay.

Go ahead, entertain us.

You were there the night it started.

- Tell us anyway.
- Yeah.

He's doing it again.
You wily fucking dude.

Quit the t-t-t-thinking.
Quit stalling.

Can we do this my way?

Yeah, okay, Poley.
But tell Frizer to get downwind.

- His aftershave is killing me.
- ( laughs )

- Skeres.
- Yeah?

Do you like Adam Nova?

- The actor?
- Yeah.

He's all right.

I guess he makes an honest buck.

Ned:
Try 20 million per picture

and 20% chunk off the back end.

One of the highest paid
movie stars in history

and I have to tell him
that it's all over.

Shortly after Nova's very public feud

with a certain studio mogul,

the mogul pays some low-rent
private eye to get the dirt on Nova

and leak it to a tabloid website.

Nova hires me
to find out what dirt

that tabloid website
is going to expose.

What's the 411 on Adam Nova, huh?

What do the flashbulb boys
have on me this time?

I'm fucking terrified.

Ned's voice:
We've all got kinks.

Contrary to what science tells us,

all DNA does not twist the same.

Here.

Well, Adam, are you
gonna open it or what?

Ned's voice:
Adam Nova's side kink

is an albino little person
named Russell.

And the two of them
have made a habit

of mixing Viagra
with methamphetamines

and doing the double dolphin
with a D-girI or a groupie

for 48 hours straight.

Fuck!

Russell:
What is it, buddy?

- This is your fucking fault.
- Let me fucking see.

Get away from me,
you sick little fucking pervert.

Ned's voice:
Nova is finished.

When this sort of thing gets
anywhere near the internet,

it's moving at the speed of light.

I suppose you want to get paid.

Okay.

Wait here.

I'll be right back.

Adam!
Wait a minute.

Let me see the fucking pictures.

Get off my ass.

Ned's voice:
Yeah.

No matter what it is,
l can fix this.

- Ned's voice: We've all got kinks.
- Russell: Adam.

Ned's voice:
And built-in closets where they hide.

There is always the fear that someday
someone walks into your closet...

- Adam!
- ...and switches on the light

and there in the corner
is your kink.

( explosions )

The most terrible fear of all...

Whoa!

...is the fear of being exposed.

( siren wails )

You want to explain this?

Is that aftershave

or cologne?

- What? Aftershave.
- Whoa.

- Fuck you.
- ( laughs )

Why is it when weird shit happens

it's always stuck to the bottom
of your shoe?

So who's the crispy midget?

It's astrophysics, Frizer.

Astrophysics?

His name is Russell.

He's a white dwarf gone supernova.

Ned's voice:
lt's 2:00 AM.

I am sick of Los Angeles.

Sick of bearing witness
to human tragedy.

I'm sick of Frizer's
shitty aftershave.

I am too jacked up to go home.

So I go back to the office
to hate myself.

Maybe it's my favorite jacket

ruined forever,

but all of a sudden

I don't like what I do for a living.

I should go home.

I should climb into the tub

and pull the water
up over my head.

But all I can do is return
to the scene of my own crime.

You are a private eye?

Yeah.

I used to be a private H.

Maybe one day I'll be a G-man.

I'm just working my way
around the alphabet.

Blah blah blah.

I want you should find somebody.

You have a specific person in mind
or will just anybody do?

My name is Anton.

They call me The Pro.

Okay, Anton, listen.

Today treated me like a dog

treats a fire hydrant,
you know.

I'm closed for business.
Really. Please.

Her name is Lexie.

Lexie Persimmon.

She is my girI.

And wherever she is I'm sure
she's snug in bed

and dreaming about bungee-jumping
off your forehead.

You know? I mean, it would
be a shame to wake her.

To wake her up and--

( sighs )
AII right.

AII right,
what's the punchline here?

What is meaning of punchline?

This is your girIfriend?

Da.

She wrote to me.

I wrote her back every Wednesday
for five whole years.

Wow.

You must have had
a jumbo box of crayons.

But there is nothing,

no house
at her return address.

Hold on, where did you
do your time, Big 'Ton?

What were you in for?

I mean, no stamps,
no postmarks.

The Federal Bureau of Prisons

requires that letters to prisoners
are sent in unsealed envelopes.

See?

I've been doing life
at Lompoc.

But they let me go.

- Let me out.
- Really?

And now I've got to find her.

But she ain't dancing
at Minkowski's no more.

( sighs )

So come on,
we go to Minkowski's.

Maybe they will tell you something.

If I write you a letter

and sprinkle it with Chanel No. 5

would you believe me when I tell you
that I am done for the day?

( scoffs )

( dance music playing )

This is it.
Where she worked.

Ask him.

Don't bother, vato.

l told him already
I've never seen her before.

I don't know who she is.

How many bouncers
do you figure it would take?

Who the fuck are you?

Where is Minkowski?

Where do you go
when you die?

And how is it working for you...

Ow, what the fuck, man?

...answering questions
with questions?

Now do you want to bring that item
up into plain sight and slowly?

Are you gonna let me go?

- There you go again.
- Ow! Okay okay!

- Hey!
- What the fuck?

Do you know Lexie Persimmon?

- Oh shit.
- Ow!

- Hey, asshole.
- ( grunts )

( Taser rattling )

( woman screams )

Ned's voice: A right hook like
a freight train coming around a corner.

And it all comes back to me.

A decade ago everyone had heard

of Anton "The Pro" Protopov.

Hey hey!
Let's get out of here. Come on.

Ned's voice:
He was 18-0 when he threw a fight.

Took a dive for the prize.

Excuse me.
Oh shit.

Skinny Faddeev,

the boss of the Russian mob
in Los Angeles.

- Don't be an asshole.
- We know who Faddeev is.

Was.

Of course you do.

So you know he was grooming
his own nephew

to be the next
heavyweight contender.

And you know he offered
Anton "The Pro" Protopov

$30 million upfront to take a fall
in the third round

of his nephew's exhibition match.

But Anton "The Pro"
was, well,

unclear on the concept.

- ( bell rings )
- ( crowd cheering )

( grunting )

Ned's voice: Because if you
crush your opponent's skull

and then go down for the count,

nobody buys it.

It's stupid.

Anton "The Pro"'s boxing career
is over.

Hey hey hey,
the car is over there.

You got pictures,

you got letters, find her.

You know, I'll do better
without your help anyway.

Da.

Sometimes, I don't know,

- I just--
- React, right?

Yeah.

- How do I find you?
- Nyet, I find you.

- ( tires screech )
- ( horn honks )

Skinny Faddeev's nephew
dies of a fractured skull

and a bleeding brain
in less than a week.

I saw that fight.

I saw Anton "The Pro"

take that phony fucking dive.

Yeah, outside of a mirror,

I bet that's the dumbest thing
you've ever seen.

( Skeres laughing )

What the fuck are you laughing at?

Frizer:
Don't answer that.

Faddeev.
What about Faddeev?

Right.

Skinny Faddeev ruins the career
of an 18-0 heavyweight,

gets his own nephew killed

and loses a cool $30 million.

And one other thing.

He does it all without letting
the mob in Las Vegas in on the fix.

But instead of taking the blame
for such a colossal clusterfuck

and trying to make peace
with the Vegas boys,

Skinny Faddeev decides

that he has a score to settle
with Anton "The Pro" Protopov.

Three days later they find
Skinny Faddeev

in the kitchen at Prostranstva.

And... ( laughs )
it's hard to tell the difference

between the former mobster
and the borscht.

It is the same borscht mixed
with Skinny Faddeev's blood

that you boy scouts find on Anton
"The Pro" Protopov's dirty laundry

at the Roosevelt Hotel.

Man on radio:
He's coming down the hall.

( beeps )

Freeze!
Motherfucker!

- Put the bottle down.
- Put your hands up.

- ( bottle shatters )
- You were there.

You were the arresting officers.

- Yeah, we were.
- So what?

Don't get clever again.

What the fuck's all this got to do
with finding a stripper?

What the fuck's a busted condom

got to do with your
birth certificate, Poley?

It's just cause and effect.

By the way, he'll hurt you.

And Skeres and me,
we'll just look the other way.

( tsks )
Skeres and I.

Skeres and I will look the other way.

You think you're better than me,
don't you, Cruz?

Nah, you and I,

we're just migrant workers

in the land of opportunity.
Right, Frizer?

But I'm the one with the badge.

I'm gonna ask you one more time.
Tell us everything you did,

everything you know.
And tell us now.

Or else what?
Poley's gonna hit me?

- Maybe I'll get my sight back.
- Anything to help. Shit.

The faster you draw us a map,
the faster you get out of here.

- See a doctor.
- I don't care about that.

Just tell me she's all right.
Tell me she is alive.

No.

You first.

AII right.

Anton "The Pro" Protopov
is sentenced to life in prison

for the murder of Skinny Faddeev.

Suddenly after serving five years
of a life sentence

without parole
he's back on the street,

a free man.

So? Somebody else
confessed to the crime.

Yeah, a Vegas hit man already
serving 300 years

for murder, rape,
kidnapping and arson

claims he killed Faddeev

because Faddeev had no business
trying to fix a Vegas fight game.

Now this convict claims

that Anton "The Pro" was framed
with blood and borscht.

- So what?
- So what?!

- Do you really believe that?
- Poley: Enough with the mob shit.

Get to the girI.

No.

If you don't understand
the mob angle,

then it won't make any sense when
I get to the part about the diamonds.

What diamonds?

Where was I?

A seven-foot 300-Ib lifer

is sprung from prison
and all he's looking for

is his girI.

How romantic is that?

( man and woman moaning )

- And cut.
- ( bell rings )

Reset.
Who's next?

So you the greaser that brought
that ape to my club, huh?

Oh, you heard about that?

Yeah, I fucking heard about it.
How'd you find me?

I looked under the rug.

See, you asking to get fucked up.

The fact that your entire
legal name

is Puss was a surprise.

Then Main Coon Productions
popped up

and here I am
at Schrodinger's Warehouse

- watching an artist at work.
- Man: You like that?

I ain't never seen this bitch.

Hey, fair enough.

So listen, Herman Minkowski
died four years ago.

You bought the joint a year later.

Who sold it to you?

His widow. A stripper.

Actress. A tweeker.

AII right, come for Christ's sakes!

- ( moans )
- What is the--

what is the plot?

Well, the guy she's fucking,
he keeps changing

- into another guy.
- Oh.

Point being,
they're really all the same.

We just don't know
where they disappear to.

It's like they go in,
but they never come out.

Wow, beautiful.
Beautiful.

- And cut.
- ( bell rings )

So Minkowski's widow,
she got a name?

Yeah, Zooey.

Zooey Wigner.

You're making a cameo?

Hitchcock did.

Slate it.

Whoa.

Lights, camera,

action, motherfuckers.

Ned's voice:
It takes about 30 minutes online

to find Zooey Wigner.

Frizer:
Whoa whoa whoa, slow down.

You claim that was
the last time you saw Puss?

Claim? Yeah.

Really? So it would
surprise you to learn

that when Schrodinger's Warehouse
was opened the next morning

Puss was still there?

Well, why would that surprise me?

It wouldn't if it were you
or your client

that broke his fucking back.

That is one well-hung negro.

It would take a pretty big motherfucker
to do that kind of damage

and hoist him up there.
It might even take two.

What the fuck
are you guys talking about?

Zooey Wigner.
Tell us about Zooey Wigner.

Ned's voice: I don't find her
at any of the talent agencies.

She isn't listed as the client
of any manager.

I find her on
a UCLA Medical Center website.

Zooey Wigner's meth addiction

has burned through the capital gains
from her dead husband's strip club.

The only acting gig she can get...

- ( grunting )
- ...is to act like a patient

with a medical condition
for interns to test

their diagnostic skills.

Fridays she's got autophagia,

a disorder causing people
to eat themselves

on account of severe sexual anxiety.

It's a really fucked up job.

But, um,

it, you know,
keeps me in rehab and...

a shithole basement
apartment in EI Segundo.

Yeah.

Just take a look at this.

You know, I--

she does kind of look like
someone that worked at the cIub

a while ago.
I don't know.

Do you remember her name?

No no no no.

That's not it.
I just--

I don't really remember much
from back then.

You know what?
Take it.

You're an actress.
A professional.

Your time is valuable, meaningful.
Take it.

Meaningful?

I am pretending to eat myself.

Where's the meaning in that?

( sighs )

Thank you.

Wait.

Jewel maybe.

Orjust Julie.

- I think.
- Hmm.

The uroboros
is what Plato described

as the first living thing
in the universe--

an immortal, perfect creature.

A serpent eating itself,

swallowing its own tail.

Everything has meaning.

Frizer: That's sweet.
I'll bet you made her feel better.

So I suppose you never went to
Zooey Wigner's apartment that night?

No. What is not going
to surprise me this time?

Yesterday Zooey Wigner
was found

with the left side
of her head caved in

floating face up

in that shithole
basement apartment.

Ned:
Floating?

Skeres: Somebody must have
left the water running in her tub.

But you didn't go there.
And I suppose neither did Anton.

Ned: No.

I went to Kepler's.

( jazz music playing )

( applause )

( tapping )

So what's ticking,
do-right man?

Who broke your dolI?

I'm fine.

You're killing me
with your sad pan.

I'm thinking of becoming
a televangelist.

This business blows.

Like a Santa Ana wind, Daddy-o.

So what is it this time?

I am looking for someone
who is supposed to exist

but nobody has seen.

- Oh, that again.
- Yeah.

You're always looking for that.
The ultimate missing person,

the theoretical other,
the soulmate.

No, this isn't about me.
Not what I want.

- Sure it is.
- No, it's for a client.

It's a job.

- Okay.
- I've picked up a tail.

It could be my client or it could
be somebody else altogether.

So you think you're slated
for crashville?

Nothing but skid marks
and red asphalt.

Hmm. I dig it, mijo.

Just remember,

love looks not with the eyes

but with the mind.

Cupid is blind.

Yeah.

Frizer:
What the fuck was that about?

Love.

Longing.

He knew what was going to happen.

He always knows.

Holy shit, he's doing it again.

Cruz, what the fuck
are you talking about?

- Jazz.
- Huh?

Sex.

Your heartbeat.

Your soul.

Skeres, man.

You're a married man, right?

- Divorced.
- Hmm.

You still remember love, right?

I've got kids in college
and alimony to pay.

l don't have time
for a fucking love story.

I'm sorry.

( upbeat music playing )

Close your eyes...

and I will show you
my secret self.

You can love me

without shame

or fear.

Your search ends with me.

I am the missing person

of your heart.

Your one

true love.

Ned's voice:
Anton is right.

There's nothing at
the Laveta Terrace return address.

Wherever she's writing from,

Lexie Persimmon
is a stripper in hiding.

( clicks )

- ( engine revs )
- ( tires squeal )

Excuse me.

Lady! Lady!
Excuse me.

What you say, metchang?

Just a second.
A second.

Until recently a letter has come
to this vacant lot every week.

It would be forwarded
by the mail carrier

to whoever submitted
a change of address form.

Okay. So?

Uh...

I'm US postal employee.
I don't take bribes.

No no no no.
Look, don't take the money.

But please help me.

I need this address.

It's quite important.

General delivery,
San Celeritas.

What was that?

San Celeritas,
New Mexico.

Okay?

Thank you.
I appreciate it. Thank you.

Ned's voice: I go back to the office
to grab a couple of shirts

and some clean underwear.

That's when I realized that it
isn't my client who is tailing me.

Anton "The Pro" has no reason
to toss my office.

So someone must have
been following him

when he first came to see me.

He had a duffle bag
when he came in,

but not when he left.

So they either want to know
what's in the bag

or they know about the letters

and want to get
their hands on them.

Poley:
Oh yeah? Why?

Ned's voice:
I didn't know, Poley.

I hadn't quite read them all yet.

( whirring )

San Celeritas, New Mexico,

is a ghost town in
the Land of Enchantment.

Wait a minute.

So Anton and this stripper,
she's never even met him

- but she's writing him letters?
- Yeah.

Poley:
This is fucking stupid.

How long do we got
to listen to this shit?

I don't know how to answer that

because space and time
are relative, Poley.

Time slows down as you
approach the speed of light.

Things get shorter, more dense.

The faster you travel the slower
and even dumber you would appear.

Oh God, that's so funny.

Yeah well, it's just the laws
of physics, Poley.

You know what you are?

You're a think-you're-smart guy.

I hate think-you're-smart guys.

I hate them more than
think-you're-tough guys.

You're one of them too,
aren't you? Huh?

Stay on track.

I know you're fucking with us.

Remember, I can read your mind.

( whispers )
You lying fuck.

You couldn't read a picture book.

What? What did you say?
What did you say? What?

- ( snaps )
- What did you say?

You know, Poley, I know--
I know you're gonna hit me.

But listen to this:
you hurt me-- you hurt me too bad,

you will never find out
where the diamonds are.

What diamonds?

Okay okay.

Okay.

I'm on my way to New Mexico

and I am moving very fast.

( whooshes )

Lexie Persimmon
is as good as found.

She'd be in San Celeritas
where her mail is forwarded.

I choose to drive.

Clear my head.

Think about quitting
this shit business.

Settling down
with something real.

But it's no good.

l keep wondering
why Skinny Faddeev

would pay Anton
$30 million upfront.

And where is the money now?

And why would a stripper

who is God's own wet dream

chose to be pen pals

with Darwin's worst nightmare?

I can't stop thinking about her,

the woman in the photograph.

l tell myself that I will
find Lexie Persimmon.

If that really is her name.

Tell her that King Kong
is looking for her.

And that would be the end of it.

But I don't believe it.

Not for a second.

( train whistle blows )

( whistle blows )

( jukebox playing )

Wow.

You totally don't belong here.

Um, where is here?

Around people like this.

Red auras-- material, physical;

bIue-- reverence;

and mostly yellow--

intellectual.

You're gray.

You are so conflicted.

But you've also got this purple-red
spiritual vibe.

It's extremely rare on this earth,

but there is something
so dark about you.

( chuckles )

Yeah. Ahem.

Is there anything else
to see around here?

( laughs )
No.

l mean, not really.
You know, it's an old air force base.

It was shut down in 1962.

We used to test the V2 rockets that
we captured from the Germans here.

Then Kestral bought it.

- Simon Kestral?
- Oh yeah.

Simon the-recIusive-gazillionaire-
fucking-visionary Kestral.

And no, I've never actually seen him.

But he bought San Celeritas

and everything underneath it.

There's these tunnels.

Some people say they run
all the way to Dulce

where there's supposed to be this,
like, secret underground military base

filled with extraterrestrials.

But you don't believe that.

( laughs )
No.

And you can't go down there anyway
on account of the collider, so...

The collider?

The particle accelerator
that Kestral's built.

Oh.

So, God, I'm sorry.
Do you want breakfast?

Yeah yeah.
Where can I find her?

I don't know, man.

But I knew
you didn't belong here.

Hmm.

Do you recognize her?

- May I please? Ketchup?
- Sure.

- Sorry.
- Do you know this woman, sir?

Sat sri akal.

He's a Sikh.

- It means God is true and--
- True and timeless.

Yeah.

Okay, that's really cool
that you know that.

So you own this place?

Oh, no no no.
I just work here.

- Who is the postmaster?
- The guy that owns the place.

Cook:
Steak und eier sind fertig.

Order's up.
I got to go.

- I-- sorry.
- Hey hey.

When do you get off?

About 14 minutes
after I start fucking.

( moaning )

What is all this?

These are the spiral trails

left by subatomic particles

moving through liquid hydrogen

in the presence of a magnetic field.

You know, I thought
they looked familiar.

You gotta understand

everything behaves

like a particle and a wave

at the same time.

And until something
is actually observed,

it exists in multiple states
of reality simultaneously.

The moment you actually
observe anything

anywhere in the universe
you change it.

And if that thing is entangled
in a relationship with anything else,

it changes too instantly.

( pants )

And that's faster
than the speed of light.

But you know what?

Nothing's faster
than the speed of light.

( chuckles )

It's real-life magic.

An atom...

is made up of electrons

and protons

and neutrons.

And protons and neutrons

are made up of quarks.

And the quarks
are held together by gIuons.

And the gIuons are bosons
and the bosons

are the elementary particles
that carry the fundamental

forces of nature.

( moaning )

So you're here because?

Because in two days,
just 300 feet underground,

two proton beams are going
to collide with each other

at nearly the speed of light.

Nothing is faster.

( laughs )

And they might find it

right here
in the middle of the desert.

Find what?

It.

The God particle.

Hmm.

And you're here because?

Because

I'm looking for someone
who's supposed to exist

but nobody has seen.

In the middle of the desert.

Yeah.

Someone is following me,

but I don't know who.

Honest?

Yeah.

So tell me,

how does
the mail service work here?

( laughs )

The mail service?

It doesn't.

People just use priority mail
and email.

Regular mail just goes in a basket.

People come in
and collect what's theirs.

Ned's voice: Then I tell her
everything I know.

About the 260 letters.

About the lonely stripper
and the washed-up boxer

who became pen pals.

About the beautiful woman
who found a way

to share her deepest passions,
her kinks,

without fear of consequences

because she chose
to give her love to a man

who will never get out of prison.

( men yelling )

Until

all of a sudden...

( cell opens )

...he did.

And by that time

the boxer was,

well, he was in.

Bullshit.

- Bullshit.
- I'm sorry, Poley.

Anton "The Pro" never expected
to see the light of day.

That's why he told her
where to find the diamonds.

- Yeah, the diamonds.
- That's right.

And Lexie Persimmon never
expected Anton "The Pro" Protopov

to come looking for her.

Okay, Ned.

This is where you need
to be very very specific.

- We don't have a lot of time.
- Why?

Because, smart-ass,
it's going to be morning soon

and if you want our help explaining
to the local law enforcement

- how everything went sideways--
- You're gonna need every detail.

Every last fucking detail, yes.

- ( gun clicks )
- Tick period.

Tock period.

( laughs )

Ned, why did you chose to share your
investigation with this waitress?

I needed the user name
and the password

for the cafe's account
with Arbitrum Incorporated.

Every week Lexie Persimmon
retrieved a letter

from the basket
at Planck's Constant.

And she sent a letter in an unsealed
envelope by priority mail.

Since Fay had never seen
Lexie Persimmon,

she probably did it after hours.

The only witness to this
weekly event

was the digital DVR camera

in the Arbitrum ATM.

Why was it so fucking important

to see her getting her mail?

Because

I was starting to wonder
if Lexie Persimmon

even existed

outside of her letters.

Damn it.

Oh God.

( grunts )

Ned's voice:
Simon Kestral is surfing stoned

off Papara Beach, Tahiti,

when he has an idea

that revolutionizes
microchip technology.

At age 60, he's the 12th richest man
in the worId

and a total recIuse.

Simon:
Whoa.

( laughs )
Fuck.

Shit, man.

- You know these guys are Sikhs.
- Uh-huh.

They work for one of the largest
security firms in the country.

We're talking government
and private sector.

Why?

Because they view self-defense
and protection of the defenseless

as duties of the highest honor.

But they're very fucking literal.

- You know?
- Oh yeah.

l asked them
to bring you to see me,

so they bring you to see me.

I'm Simon Kestral.

This is where
I do not offer my hand

because according
to the tabloids,

I'm such a freak
I don't touch other people.

But that's a tissue of lies.

- ( chuckles )
- Oh, go ahead.

Look, I'm sorry you're here
without your shirt

and you got a little boo-boo,

but what the fuck, Chuck?

( chuckles )

I'll make it up to you.

You can start right now.

Oh.

Nah.

You're in an eight-mile long
circular tunnel

300 feet below San Celeritas.

And in 27 hours from now,

eight magnet assemblies
storing 10 gigajoules of energy

will guide two proton beams
fired simultaneously

in a semicircular path
toward each other

at 99.999% of the speed of light.

And they'll collide right in there.

Wow.

To recreate conditions last seen
a trillionth of a second

after the Big Bang,

the beginning of the universe

13 billion years ago.

Questions?

Preguntas?

"What the fuck for?"
comes to mind.

But I know you're going to tell me
because you can't resist, right?

In 27 hours I'm gonna find something

that theoretically should exist
but no one has ever seen.

Funny, that is exactly
what I am looking for.

You know why?

Yes, because I am a private detective
and l've been hired to.

Because I already know
why we're here.

I knew it the first time
l dropped acid.

Really?
When was the last time?

We are sentient beings

evolving in an infinite universe.

And the infinite extrapolation
of our evolution

is to become gods ourselves.

You dig?

Now along the way
we must learn the secret

of His magic wand.

( scoffs )

Sure.

lf everything there is,
from all the heavenly bodies

in all the galaxies in
the still expanding universe

to you and me was once
smaller than a single atom,

where did all that mass
and matter come from?

Don't tell me.
The God particle.

- Fuckin' A.
- Yes.

And at 7:00 AM tomorrow morning

with $5 billion worth
of off-the-shelf technology,

I'm gonna answer the greatest
question of all time.

Why do men have nipples?

You're a philistine.

The reason we are here
is to find out how we are here.

What is the trick?
What is the divine mechanism

that gives form and substance
to all things?

Any other question
is a waste of fucking time.

This is the only worthwhile pursuit

in the universe, bro.

I'm looking for a woman.

You're living your life
in vain, hombre.

Coming to my town at the 11th hour

asking insignificant questions
of a personal nature?

What's the point?

Love.

Oh yeah.

That got to him.

Ned's voice: Then back on
the Dharma Security bus

with an invitation to dinner
that night

at Kestral's house.

He told me there is somebody

that he wants me to meet.

I need sleep.

I need the user name and password
to the ATM digital cam.

But I can't help it.

I've got a bag full of a beautiful
woman's private thoughts,

her unselfconscious desires.

Lexie's voice:
I was the one you dreamed of

when you were a boy
becoming a man.

I was made for you
and you alone.

We are entangled, you and I...

"In our own universe forever.

Lexie Persimmon."

Lexie:
PS: I did as you asked.

They were exactly where
you told me that they would be.

And they're safe
back in the earth

where they belong.

"Because I have no use
for material wealth.

I have you..."

For the rest of my life.

Where is she?

How the fuck did you get in here?

You find her?
What are you doing here

- if she ain't here?
- Shut the fuck up for a second.

- You are being followed.
- I know that.

What is this place?

The land of fucking make-believe.

Stick around,
they'll make you mayor.

What the fuck is this?
What the fuck is this?

- You know what it is.
- No.

What was exactly where
you told her it would be?

- Ice.
- What?

AII the bling Skinny gave me.

What diamonds, Frizer?

Those diamonds.

The ones Skinny Faddeev
gave Anton "The Pro"

- to throw that prize fight.
- Wait, slow down.

No, don't-- don't--
don't play dumb, Poley.

You don't have to.

Anton thought he was never
getting out of prison

and he was in love
with his pen pal.

So he told his girl
where to find them?

- That's right.
- Where?

- Where?
- In the closet.

- What closet?
- In Anton's room

in the Roosevelt Hotel.

$30 million worth of conflict diamonds

- hidden in the ceiling fixture.
- Radio: He's coming down the hall.

Frizer:
Conflict diamonds?

Well, yeah.

You know, it always bothered me

that Faddeev paid Anton upfront

to throw the fight.

But if Faddeev thought
he was dumping something

hard to sell on the open market
like a couple handfuls

of known certified blood diamonds,

Anton wouldn't know the difference.

But Faddeev
would still want them back.

Especially after Anton
killed his nephew

and fucked up the fight,
you know?

You think too much.

Compared to you, Poley,
so does asparagus.

See, that's my favorite
fucking vegetable.

- Oh fuck.
- Not yet!

God damn it!

What is it about what the fuck
we're doing here

that you don't understand?

You don't get to touch me.

I won't fucking touch you.

( Ned laughing )

Oh, violent.
So violent.

- Diamonds, Ned.
- ( coughs ) Yeah.

Where are the diamonds now?

"Back in the earth where they belong."
What does that mean?

- She buried them?
- Yeah yeah yeah.

l ain't done.
I'm coming to that, all right?

But first

I have to explain

to Anton that I haven't found
Lexie Persimmon.

Then I have to find out

if he knows

who was on my tail.

Maybe bratva.

Mafiya.

They follow me,
now they follow you.

Why would the mob
be following me?

I am thinking on that.

I am thinking on account of ice.

Diamonds?

Why?

Because I did kill Skinny Faddeev.

Okay.

- So you did it.
- Da.

He want his jewels back
after I fuck up.

l did not mean
to kill his nephew.

I feel bad.

But Skinny,

he get in my face.

I did not mean to kill him neither.

But I did.

Sometimes, I don't know,

- I just--
- React.

I know.

When other convict confess
of killing Skinny Faddeev,

I am confused

because I know
I am one who did it.

But now I'm thinking mob,

they want me out of prison

so I can lead them to diamonds.

Anton, you're a genius.

But now I have to protect my Lexie.

Well, I've got to find her first.

She-- she has diamonds.

And you,

if you find her

all you do is lead them to her.

Ned's voice:
It's late when I get the call from Fay

and I access
the Arbitrum ATM website.

I start scanning
through the ATMs DVR

looking for a pattern,
someone retrieving a letter

and sending one by priority mail.

Lexie Persimmon stopped
writing eight weeks ago.

So only the first four weeks

of the 12 available on the server
were relevant.

Any minute the Dharma
Security van

is going to pull up
and drag me to dinner.

And then I see it.

AII of a sudden my search is over.

I'd found who I was looking for.

Simon: Detective,
I'd like you to meet my wife.

Julie,

meet Ned Cruz,

a real life private eye.

This anything but righteous man

has dedicated his time on earth
to inserting himself

into other people's
unexamined lives.

- Hello.
- Hello.

He's a remora--

a suckerfish that attaches itself

to the underbelly
of a big fat city

and feeds off of its leftovers
and parasites.

He's from LA,

the home of your
distinguished stage career.

He's brought an artifact
from your past

all the way to San Celeritas.

I'm gonna shame him.

It'll be fun.

Are you a suckerfish, Mr. Cruz?

No.

Then why would you let my husband
say such ugly things?

They're just words.

Are words important to you?

- When they hurt.
- Simon: Ouch.

That's fucking profound.

Detach yourself, Detective.

Dr. Niels Geck:

PhD at MIT, age 13;

Rhodes scholar, age 16;

Professor, Department
of Theoretical Physics

University of Geneva, age 20;

Chief physicist of the San Celeritas
particle collider.

He's blessed with
a neurological disorder.

He sees words and numbers

as shapes and colors.

It's called synesthesia.

It's like being born on acid.

So he has a very rich inner life.

I envy him above all others.

He's gonna teach you a lesson.

Niels, let's eat.

Okay.
Right.

Niels: Once upon a time we believed
we lived in a clockwork universe

governed by Newtonian mechanics,
cause and effect.

Newton was elegant, yes.

But then the uncertainty principle
came along and changed everything.

An electron
can be two different things

and in two different places
at the same time.

So cause and effect is ridiculous.
lt's ludicrous.

You cannot predict
with any certainty

what will happen next.

So tell me about the God particle.

Okay.

When the universe
was created--

Thank you.

--there was an equal amount
of matter and antimatter.

They should have annihilated each other
leaving nothing but empty space

'cause there's just no explaining
for how the universe acquired mass.

There's no explanation at all

for how we're here
in a physical sense.

Unless-- unless there is some

special mysterious particle

that actually gives mass
to, well, everything.

And in some sense
such a particle must exist,

but we've never seen it.

It's like love.

We know it exists.
We can feel it,

but we've never seen it.

So, uh, what happens tomorrow?

We'll recreate the conditions
that existed

one trillionth of a second
after the Big Bang.

Protons will head toward collisions

at nearly the speed of light.

Their quarks
and their gIuons

will release enough energy to create
the Higgs boson particle.

The God particle.

It's unstable.
lt's fragile.

And it will last for less
than one millionth

of a billionth
of a billionth of a second

before it decays.

But we'll see it
for the first time in history.

Questions?

Yeah.

The woman who is serving us,

she's Hindu.

She's dressed in white.
She's mourning.

Um, why?

Her name's Prabha

and her husband died
down there.

There have been a lot of accidents.

Whoa.
He was an engineer.

And he made a mistake.

There have been a lot of mistakes.

A lot?
Compared to what?

He was trapped.

Pinned under the weight of something
much larger than he was.

It crushed his ribcage.

Yeah, broke his heart.

It was his own damn fault.

- His fault?
- You bet.

Because the only errors
are human errors.

He made the wrong choice.

Unfortunately
he didn't live to regret it.

Unlike my oh-so-lonely wife

who made some
very bad choices a long time ago.

Please.

And that's why you're here,
isn't it?

Let me guess.
Somebody's looking for her.

Maybe it's just me.

So what is the worst that can happen

with a couple of billion worth
of off-the-shelf technology

bolted together
by imperfect human beings

hecho en Nuevo Mexico?

A black hole.

- What was that?
- A black hole.

Theoretically, collisions
with this much energy

could create a black hole
that could swallow the earth.

Or-- or create strangelets

that could initiate runaway fusion

and turn the planet into a shrunken
lump of strange matter.

So we've got nothing
to worry about.

You have arrived here

at the penultimate moment

of the ultimate spiritual pursuit.

Because God is the Wizard of Oz.

He is the man behind the curtain.

And tomorrow,

I'm yanking back that curtain.

So I--

I should take my business
and rolI away

like a little ball of shit
in a prenatal position

because whatever concerns her

is inconsequential compared to
whatever you think is going to happen

when you flip that switch
tomorrow, right?

The point,
you insignificant asshole,

is that showing up here

seeking to stir up shit about me

is cosmically fucked up.

You are fucked up.
You are the guy at the magic show.

The one who can't leave not knowing
how the trick is done.

And all you're gonna do
is just ruin it for the rest of us.

I think you two need to go away.

Yeah.

Do your business.

Talk. Fuck.
Whatever.

By 7:00 AM tomorrow
l'm gonna be onstage

standing next to God

and looking right up his sleeve.

So, um,

what do you think

is gonna happen
at 7:00 AM tomorrow?

There are hidden variables

so it's difficult to predict
the outcome.

But I think,

one way or another
at 7:00 AM tomorrow,

Simon Kestral will be close to God.

Ned's voice:
So Geck goes home.

And Kestral goes down
to the collider

to do whatever the fuck
he has to do

with only eight hours to go
before show time.

- And Julie and I...
- ( thunder crashes )

we go for a walk.

( Julie laughs )

So did you really

come here for me?

Yes.

- Yes.
- ( laughs )

- I'm what you're looking for?
- Yeah.

How do you know?

Well, you are exactly
what I am looking for.

How do I know you're not like

every man I've ever met?

You know, you look at me

and you see
what you want to see.

I've got to stop defining myself

by how men see me.

Hmm.

You've got father issues, right?

Yeah.

I stripped for him too.

And your husband?

You know, it's more of the same.

l'm nothing
but a metaphor to him.

Like a trophy.
A symbol of what he's looking for.

What we're all looking for.

- What?
- You know.

You just-- you don't know
that you know.

Mmm.

We're standing above it
right now.

Oh, the collider.

( laughs )
The place where his beams collide.

He's insane.
It's all gonna blow up in his face.

You know, we've got
a bigger problem here.

Kiss me.

No. Not yet.

Listen, he's here.

Who?

Anton "The Pro."
He's here.

- Protopov.
- What?

( sighs )
Oh my God.

AII right, listen.
I can help you.

But you've got to come clean.

So tell me, was it random?
Did you do it because you were lonely?

Did you write to him because you
read in the paper about a boxer

who was going to spend
the rest of his life in prison

who might be worth $30 million?

Wait. I don't know
what you're talking about.

$30 million is a lot of lifestyle to
which you have become accustomed.

Stop, okay?
You're confusing me.

Where did you get this?

I buried all of these.

Buried them?

My headshots, everything
from back then right here.

Listen, you're not making any sense.

Why the accomplice?

Why Geck?

No no, don't deny it.
l have seen him.

He was recorded at the cafe.

Why did you use Niels Geck

to pick up your mail
and send your letters?

- What letters?
- Okay.

Wait, let me see.

Who is Lexie Persimmon?

( gunshots )

( grunts )

Jesus.

Lexie!

Shit.

- ( knife rings )
- Who--

( screams )

What the hell is that?

You really don't know?

Come on.
You've got to run.

- Wait.
- Go there. Go there now.

Now, move!
Damn it.

Anton, wait.
Listen to me.

lt's not her.
She's not Lexie Persimmon.

You cannot stop me.
You want to try, tough guy?

- Shoot me.
- I can't.

You're my client.

- ( Julie screams )
- Lexie!

Lexie!

Come on.

Such a cliché.
Come on.

- ( Julie groans )
- Come on.

Ow!

It's unlocked.

What the fuck
is going on?

( panting )
Where are we?

- This is Niels's house.
- Geck?

No, hold on. Who would know
you danced at Minkowski's?

- Who would have your photograph?
- He would.

- Geck went to a strip cIub?
- Yeah.

He brought my husband
one night.

Niels introduced us.

- ( door thuds )
- Oh shit.

- Anton: Lexie!
- ( pounding )

Who is that?

A guy who thinks you are
the woman of his dreams.

What?

- AII right, let's go.
- Lexie!

Julie: Niels?

- Frizer: Lex parsimoniae?
- Ned: Mm-hmm.

Frizer:
What does it mean?

Well, it's the Latin expression

for a philosophical concept
known as Occam's Razor.

In language that Poley
can understand,

it means

all things being equal,

the simplest solution is the best.

Now in this case
it just means

that a lonely physicist

starts a five-year long
paper sex relationship

with a convicted killer
doing life at Lompoc.

You know, it's safe.

Perfect.

The killer gets love
and the physicist gets treated

like the woman he pretends to be

late at night

in the privacy of his home,

his kink hidden and with no fear
of being exposed.

It means

that Niels Geck

is lex parsimoniae.

Lexie Persimmon.

So you wrote the letters, right?

Julie:
What letters?

You-- you read them?

Yeah.

( laughing )

I don't understand.

Ned:
Oh my God.

So you knew he was coming for you.
You had to know.

His last letter, he must have
told you he was getting out, right?

Yes of course.
I calculated the wave function.

( banging )

The likelihood that I'd be
where he was looking for me.

Wait a minute.
What?

Did I do something wrong?

Where are the diamonds?

- ( crashing )
- Anton: Lexie!

Shut that door.

Oh my God.
Oh my God.

You, come in here.
Come in here.

- What about--
- Don't make a sound.

Oh my God.

AII right, Anton, stop.

Enough!

Hello, Anton.

( panting )

Ned's voice:
Niels Geck calculated the probability

that Anton Protopov would find him.

Lexie?

Ned's voice:
And based on his result,

he bought himself a gun.

Yes.

You do not look like self.

I am.

You are not my Lexie.

You are guy.

I'm both at the same time.

Could you please?

Put the gun down, please?

You can love me.

What?

- No! Where is she?
- I'm here.

- No!
- I'm here.

Anton, wait. Wait.
( grunts )

Anton, no. Stop.

Nyet nyet nyet!

I love you.

Man:
Hey hey hey!

Man #2: Drop the gun.
Down, now.

- ( gunshots )
- ( body thuds )

And that's it.

That's all I remember.

Till I came to and I can't
see a fucking thing

and you guys are here

and I don't know
who is alive or dead.

AII I want--

all I need to know is

is Julie all right?

And that's it.
That's it.

Good. Good boy.

Just one more thing.

Who was it?

Who crashed the party?

Well, that's simple.

The guys who had been
shadowing Anton

then tailing me.

The guys in the Lincoln Town Car.

I can describe them.

One is a fucking sociopath

who never finished first grade

and nobody likes.

Another is a broken-down
family man

with nothing-- nothing
to show for his life.

And the third guy

wears brown shoes
and a black suit

because he can't tell the difference
between right and wrong.

( laughs )

How could you tell who it was?
Thought you couldn't fucking see.

That's right, Poley.
But you know what?

I didn't need to see
to recognize

Frizer's fucking aftershave.

Yeah.
( laughs )

Yeah.

No one--
nobody knew the story

of Anton "The Pro" Protopov

better than you guys.

The Three Stooges.

Working homicide
and organized crime for so long

that you're no better
than the bad guys.

- Whoa, the bad guys.
- The bad guys.

You know, Anton was right.

He was sprung from prison
by the mob

with a phony confession

from a three-time loser

so that he could lead them
to $30 million

worth of
Skinny Faddeev's stupidity.

And you guys-- you guys
are either working for the mob

or you stiff-armed them, pulled rank,
called this one for you own,

but it was you guys--
you all along.

AII along.

( laughs )

It's funny.

Anton didn't give a shit
about the diamonds.

But you guys sure as hell did.

Oh yeah.

Poley, go ahead.

( groaning )

Poley: Get up.

- Frizer: Get him up, Poley.
- You get him up.

Skeres:
We're out of fucking time here.

Poley:
He'll get him up.

Frizer:
It's a dead fucking end.

He doesn't know
where the diamonds are.

- Poley killed the only one who does.
- Shut the fuck up.

- No, fuck you, Poley!
- What did you say?

We've got a huge fucking mess
on our hands thanks to you.

And no way to clean it up.
What the fuck are we doing here?

Wait wait wait.

Who killed Puss?

- Frizer: Your client did.
- Why?

I guess he was following up
on your so-called investigation

and didn't like the African-American's
personality.

What about Zooey Wigner?

I mean, Anton couldn't have
known where she lived.

You assholes.

You followed me

to the medical center.

I leave, you go in,

flash the badges, find out
who I was there to see

and then-- and then--
and then Poley--

Poley tails her home,
tries to milk her,

and loses his little temper.

Poley, you did not.

- Yeah.
- Oh shit, Poley.

- Poley: Whatever.
- You cannot clean this up.

You know, there are
too many loose ends.

It's messy.
It's messy.

He's right. Know what we got here?
We got total chaos here.

This was a stupid idea.
And you. You.

You are a fucking sociopath.

( laughs )
You will be sickly sorry

if you make a move on me,
you gristly piece of shit.

- Sorry? Wow.
- What?

- Huh?
- What?

- Huh?
- Huh?

Really?

Stop them, Frizer,
before they kill again.

- I haven't killed anybody.
- Not yet.

AII right, here is how
it's gonna be.

Anton gets out of prison
and partners with you

to find this fucking Persimmon bitch
who's got his diamonds.

Typically you leave behind a path
of death and destruction.

It's morning now.

At any minute somebody's gonna find
the towelhead security guard

with a broken neck
over at Kestral's place.

Geck doesn't show up for work,

they're gonna come looking for him.

They're gonna find
the end of your trail.

Everybody dead,
a real fucking bloodbath.

What is-- what is--
what is that? Ow.

The gun that brought
down Anton "The Pro."

The one they find
with your fingerprints on it

next to a corpse.

You can't--
you can't use that thing--

Unregistered.

See, I like my aftershave.

I like the color of my shoes.

And I like that at the end of the day
I beat you, Cruz.

( sighs )

I might not have the diamonds,

but you're gonna take the fall
for my efforts.

Oh, and Poley is going to use

Geck's little .22 to kill
your girlfriend.

Wait a minute.
What?

Yeah, she's been here
all along, smart guy.

Too bad you won't be able to see
what's gonna happen to her.

- Poley, wait.
- Ooh!

- Frizer, no. No!
- No? No?

Skeres, you have a better idea?

Want to confess your part in this

and go to prison?

Frankly,

l don't think
your partners will let you.

- Oh shit.
- ( gun clicks )

I know where the diamonds are.

Julie: Don't tell them.
They're gonna kill us anyway.

( groans )

Where are they?

- Make me a deal.
- No.

Then go and fuck yourself.

AII right.

( groaning )

AII right, all right, all right.

AII right, I know--
I know where they are.

I know where they are,
but I can't see.

Julie knows too but she doesn't
know that she knows.

With my help she can
lead you right to them.

But if you kill her
nobody will be able

to show you
where Geck buried them.

It's your call, man.
lt's your call.

It's your call.

Open the trunk.

Poley!

If you keep the car running

maybe we could get
a little air back here.

( starts engine )

Dr. Geck is not answering
his telephone.

Geck the geek.
Fuck him.

Detector hot?

AII systems are go, sir.

Tick-tock.

Go ahead.

What the fuck do I look like?

You're an asshole, Frizer.

You've always been an asshole.

If they held a contest for the worId's
biggest asshole,

you'd come in second.

Yeah? Why not first?

'Cause you're an asshole.

Skeres:
Three years to retirement.

How the fuck
did I end up here?

How? Who gives a shit?
Keep digging.

l give a shit,
simple motherfucker.

Maybe I want to take a minute
and consider the metaphysics

of a really bad fucking decision.

Yeah, now's a great time for that.

- I fucking knew it.
- Go!

Maybe it's not how, you know?

Maybe it's why. Why?

Why the fuck did I let you
talk me into this?

How about $30 million
worth of why?

Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

( grunts )

Get the gun!
Get the gun! Get the gun!

- Oh shit.
- ( gun clicks )

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck is that?

Frizer:
What's he doing?

( gunshot )

Shit!

- Get down!
- ( gunshots )

Stay down!

Oh shit!

- Are you okay?
- No. I dropped the gun.

( tires squealing )

Let's see what we're made of.

- ( rumbling )
- Oh fuck.

- ( rumbling )
- ( Julie gasps )

Oh God.

Shit.

- We have to turn.
- I can't! I can't!

- Can't we go any faster?
- Fucking thing.

Damn it.

( Julie gasps )
It's coming right at us.

Oh shit.

Oh Christ.

( metal fragments cIunking )

Are you all right?

Why not?

( loud thud )

Fuck it.

Julie: So were you really
blind that whole time?

Well...

So you just kind of smash things
together and see what comes out?

( chuckles ) Más o menos.
Yes, more or less.

I mean, Newtonian mechanics
is so 17th century.

Cause and effect are totally bogus.

And reality-- I mean,
reality is just a wave function.

It's all about likelihood.
Nothing is certain.

I mean, you solved everything

and you got the girI.

And I got a gecko.

And $30 million worth of diamonds,

that we should really
give back, you know,

to like Angola or Liberia

or the Ivory Coast
or the Republic of the Congo

or something.

- I don't know.
- ( laughs )

But man, I really like this car.

( women laughing )

( instrumental music playing )

Download movie subtitles or
Load it directly from url
on TheSubtitles.net