All language subtitles for Red.Oaks.S02E02.1080p.WEBRip.X264-DEFLATE_track3_eng

Ever consider law?

- Not really.
- He should.

He's got the mind for it.
He's very argumentative.

- I am not.
- I rest my case.

Sorry I'm late.

- Hey, Mom.
- I had an early call
with a client.

Hi, sweetie.
So how's the new job, Sam?

Great, great,
deeply fulfilling,
like a prostate exam.

- So poetic.
- Well, what do you
want me to say?

It's the IRS, not Greenpeace.

Should we get started?

Okay, folks,
we're in the home stretch.

I filed the dissolution
of marriage petition.

I'm just waiting to hear back
about a court date.

And since you're both waving
rights to spousal support,

and aren't contesting
the division of assets,

I expect things
to proceed smoothly.

What about the money
from the sale of the house?

Oh, it's all held in escrow
until the divorce is finalized.

- Any other questions?
- Yeah, should we talk about
child custody?

- What?
- Well, because Sam
and I were thinking

we would do every other week,
and alternate holidays would
work best.

- Mom, I'm 21 years old.
- Honey, the grownups
are talking.

Okay, I gotta go.

Honey?
Just a second.

Your mom and I wanna talk
to you about something.

Well, sweetie, you know,

now that your dad and I
both have good jobs--

Well, jobs.

...and we actually came out
ahead on the house sale,

Thanks to your mom's great
work as listing agent.

So we were thinking
we can afford

to help you out with school,

if you'd like to re-enroll
at NYU in the fall.

And maybe you, uh--

you give dorm living
a try, huh?

Seriously?

That's amazing.

Oh!

Come here, come here.
Go on, get out of here.

You don't wanna be late
your first day back.

Bye.

Okay, it is so nice
to see him smile.

He has been in
such a funk lately.

I don't know why he hates
that community college.

It's a lovely campus.

That's not why
he's been so down.

No?

No. No.

He misses his girlfriend.

So how are you doing?

Oh, I'm-- I'm good.

Busy. You?

- Better.
- Hmm.

Not still eating
frozen dinners, I hope?

You'll be happy to know
that I prepared myself
a salad the other night.

Oh, look at you.

Although the apartment gets
a little lonely sometimes.

- Yeah.
- I've made some friends.

- Hmm.
- One guy, you'd love.

He's my supervisor at work.

Terry. He's a black fella.
He's terrific.

You know, you don't have
to mention he's black.

But he is.

Yeah, but it's not really
relevant is my point,

and it could be misconstrued
as a little bit, you know--

What?

Racist.

Terry's not racist.

Well, I'll be glad
when this is all over.

It'll be nice to get
out of our caves

and just get on
with our lives.

Yeah.

Huh?

It's good morning
in Japanese.

Since when do you know
Japanese?

Since I started
teaching myself.

I figure they're gonna
buy Red Oaks one day.

I mean, they already own
half of Manhattan,

and they're crazy about golf,
also mayonnaise.

Shouldn't you be spending
your time learning how
to mix cocktails?

Working on that, too.

- Another letter from Paris?
- Yeah.

Any word yet on when
she's getting back?

Next week sometime.

She says she has some stuff
she needs to wrap up

before she comes home.

Wow. If it was me,

I'd have chosen Paris
over here.

No offense, you know,
I'd miss you and all,

but c'est la vie, David.

Dude, you ever had sex
on a beach?

Technically, no.
But one time back
in high school,

me and Karen snuck into
the athletic field at night

and did it
in the long jump pit.

Didn't she get sand
in her, you know, uh, hoo-ha?

She was on top.

What?

You never told me how it went
with Misty last night.

- You guys have the talk?
- Nah.

- Well, what happened?
- Same thing that always does.

We hung out.
It was awesome.

Felt like we were
boyfriend and girlfriend,

except for the
not having sex part.

And the second I try
to steer the conversation

to "what the fuck
is going on with us,"

she got all evasive

and suddenly realized she had
to study, and then split.

Dude, you can't let it
go on like this.

I know.
What's so frustrating is

I really felt like
I was making progress.

Like that time
we were both baked

and she let me feel her boobs
before we passed out?

So confusing.

I know you're sick
of me saying this,

but you need to confront her.

You can't keep letting her
dodge the subject.

You're right.

I'm gonna do it.

Tonight.

Okay.

Yo, Wheeler!

What's this I hear about you
not working valet anymore?

Yeah! You too good
for us or something?

Gentlemen,
you are looking at

the new Red Oaks Grille's
bartender.

You better hook us up
with some free booze.

Yeah, like I'd risk my job
stealing alcohol for you
two joysticks.

Hey, we're not joysticks.

As I live and breathe.

Boychick, look at you.
Come here and give me
a man hug, will you?

Come on, put some pelvis
into it, huh?

- Okay.
- You've been working out.

How was Boca?

I didn't end up making it
out to Boca, actually.

- No?
- Nah.

There was just too much
going on around here--

...between Father's prostate

and, um, my divorce.

What? Holy shit.

Nash, what happened?

Who's to say?

Perhaps we got married
too young.

We'd been drifting apart
for a while.

Also she gave me gonorrhea.
So there's that.

But I'm okay.
I'm over it...

after months of therapy
and an aggressive regimen
of antibiotics.

- I'm really sorry, man.
- Oh, don't be. It's fine.

I'm fine.

No, I'm better than fine.

Besides, what better balm
for a broken heart

than to get back out there
and start sewing your wild oats,

and planting some rows
of corn and potatoes besides?

If you catch my drift.

Ah! I just had the most
marvelous idea.

What?

You, me, tonight,
kickoff kegger.

I wasn't really planning
on going this year.

You don't have to plan a thing.
I'll take care of it all.

I'll pick you up and provide
the snacks and the blue curacao.

All you have to do
is wear a clean shirt.

This is going to be fantastic.

We'll be each other's wingmen.

- I can't, Nash.
- Why not?

'Cause I'm not really
in the mood,

and I'm seeing someone.

- Who?
- Skye.

Getty's daughter?
But I thought she was in France.

She is,
but she's coming back.

That settles it.
You're coming with me tonight.

I won't have you moping about
like some fish wife

pining for her sailor
to return from the seas.

We're going to have
fun tonight, god damn it.

And you are going
to get me laid.

Okay, yeah.

Hey, kid,
don't give yourself a hernia.

All right.

Let's try this again, Herb.

Here we go.

All right?
One Manhattan coming up.

Looks good.

The, uh...

Shit!

Oh, here you go.

We'll give it a taste.

How is it?

- Too sweet.
- Still?

It's a Manhattan,
not a Shirley Temple.

It should taste like
getting mugged at gunpoint.

Just-- I'll try again.
Just let me run these
out to the pool.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How you doing?
- Good.

How about you?
How you been?

I heard something
about you going to school

- like, uh, to clean teeth.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's been going good.

Yeah, no shit. That's wild,

Yeah. How's the band?

We broke up.

Oh, I'm sorry. Wow.

No, those guys were ass-wipes.
They were holding me back.

No, no, no, I've been focusing
more on my solo stuff.

- Okay.
- I'll bring you a demo tape.

I think you'd really dig it.

Like, it's more acoustic.

Like, ballads and shit.

Exploring your sensitive side.

- Exactly.
- Hey, Misty.

- Hi.
- Steve.

What do you want, lug nuts?

Uh, to talk to Misty?

I gotta get back to work.

- Bye.
- Fuck you.

Listen,

there's something
I really need to talk
to you about.

- Okay.
- So...

- I feel like we've been
avoiding--

Walk! Sorry. Go ahead.

Um, like I was saying,

I'm just a little confused
because--

No diving!
Wheeler, can we talk later?

How about tonight?

I got class.

Fuck.

Can you skip?

I have a test.

Okay.

You better deliver those
before they melt.

Yeah, okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

Good.

It's been a long time.

I know.

How's community college?

Shitty.

But, uh, good news is

I'm going back to NYU
starting the fall.

That's great.

How's modeling?

Good. Yeah.
Barry got me a Sears circular.

Oh, cool.

How is Barry?

Hilarious, as always.

Um, yeah, that's actually
the reason I stopped by.

I wanted to tell you before
you heard it from anyone else.

Tell me what?

Um...

Barry and I are, well...

Wow.

That's fast.

Yeah, I mean,
it's crazy, I know,

but I can't really
believe it, either.

It's not like we're kids,
though.

Barry's 30, and I'm almost
done with my RN, so...

Yeah.

Well, congratulations.

Thanks.

Do you guys have
a date and stuff?

August 23rd.

That'll be here
before you know it.

Yeah, still like a zillion
things I have to do.

You have no idea how many
decisions are involved
in planning a wedding,

even a small one
in my parents' backyard.

Yeah.

I'm happy for you.
It's what you always wanted.

I have a class,
so I'm gonna get going.

- Another Coke.
- Thanks.

No problem.

- SATs?
- I'm re-taking them
next Saturday.

My dad says if I don't
bring my scores up,

he's sending me
to military school.

That sucks.
What did you get the last time?

940. I'm pretty stupid.

Nah, man. Standardized
tests have nothing
to do with intelligence.

They're a racket.

They exist for
the sole purpose

of selling No. 2 pencils.

Beating the SATs
is like beating the house
in Blackjack.

You play the percentages,
count cards.

Beat 'em at their own game.

How?

Okay, for instance...

Everyone works their way
through the sections
of the test in sequence

like good like lemmings.

But why?
Nothing in the rules say

you have to do
reading comprehension

before similes.

In fact, you shouldn't,

'cause it takes three times
as long, yet it's worth
the same points.

So it makes more sense to skip
over reading comprehension

and only come back to it
later if you have time left.

You're pretty smart.
What did you get on your SATs?

1580.

That's, like,
almost a perfect score.

Why didn't you go to college?

I did for a year.

Dropped out.
It wasn't my scene.

That whole Ivory Tower thing
is kind of bogus, you know?

What?

You know,
we kind of look alike.

- Do we?
- It's close enough.

For what?

For you to pretend to be me
and take the SATs in my place.

Okay, why would I do that?

Because I'll pay you
a hundred bucks.

Two hundred.

Cash.

Please, Wheeler,
I can't go to military school.

Did you see "Taps"?
Those guys are psycho.

Okay. I'll do it. Fuck.

Okay, over here, Rambo.
Say fromage.

Yeah, no expression whatsoever.
Good choice.

Okay, little sis, step on up.

Hey! Out of my shot,
special ed.

Hey, you need to be nice.
They're just kids.

They drew first blood,
not me.

Guess now's not a good time
to tell you I'm pregnant.

You're preggers?

I'm kidding.

It's not really a bad time
to talk about how many
rug rats we're gonna have.

I used to think six,
but after today,
I'm not so sure.

Hey, how about we just
enjoy being the two of us
for a little while?

Yeah, right.

Oh, that reminds me.

Did you ask your sister
about taking Gracie?

Yeah, no dice.

- Kid's afraid of cats.
- Shoot.

Do you think maybe we can
just keep her in the garage?

Sorry, babe. Can't have her
anywhere in the vicinity.

Tongue swells up.
I have trouble breathing.

Look, once we get married,

pussy's gotta go.

- Little pepper?
- Little bit. Thank you.

Hi, Mr. Getty, Mrs. Getty.

- Hi.
- David.

By the way,
if you need me to pick up Skye

from the airport next week,
I'm happy to do it.

We got it covered.

Okay, cool.

Well, I'll see you later.

So much for
her little fling with him

being over by the summer.

Don't worry.
Eat your lunch.

Now, this is what I call
a target-rich environment.

- Now's your chance.
- For what?

- To be my wingman.
- What is this thing "wingman"
you keep talking about?

- You've seen "Top Gun," right?
- No, not yet.

You must. Siskel and Ebert
were divided on it, of course,

but I found it to be quite
a profound meditation

on the subject
of male friendship.

Tom Skerritt is electric
as always.

You gonna tell me
what a wingman does?

All you have to do
is fly over there.

I'll watch your tail.

And trap me up
to those young bogeys.

Wait here.

Godspeed.

- This party blows.
- Hey.

My friend over there was
wondering if you wanted
to party with him.

- Which one?
- The one with the beard.

He's been going through
a kind of a tough time lately,

but he's a great guy
and a lot of fun.

- Does he have any weed?
- Probably.

- Okay, whatever.
- Awesome.

Do you--
Do you have any weed?

Marijuana? Yes, I could
definitely procure

something of that sort
for you if you'd like.

Hand me one of those?

Surprise.

- When did you--
- Two hours ago.

Why didn't you tell me
you were coming home early?

I wanted to see the look
on your face.

It was totally worth it.
You should have seen yourself.

- Do you wanna get out of here?
- Yeah.

Tonight, instead of
practicing on each other,

you're gonna get the chance
to clean the teeth of real
life volunteers.

recruited from the community.

So let's be
professional, courteous,

and above all, gentle,

so our volunteers can have
a pleasant experience.

All right.

Right this way.

- What are you doing here?
- There you go.

- We need to talk.
- Can't it wait?

No.

Tonight's worth
like 40% of my grade.

Is there a problem here?

No, I-- No problem, Doctor,
just--

Okay. Let's not leave
our patients waiting.

Wheeler, I swear to God.

Sometimes I just don't know
about you.

That's why I'm here.

- I need to know how you feel.
- Rinse.

Spit.

How I feel about what?

- Me.
- What? Are you high?

No. But I'd take some nitrous
if you got any.

Open.

Ahh.

Cripes, Wheeler,
how much coffee do you drink?

- Ooh! Ooh! Sorry!
- I can't take it anymore.

- Did I hurt you?
- Not that.

- Us.
- What do you mean?

I can't take not knowing
what's going on between
us, Misty.

I mean,
we hang out all the time.

You're over so my house
so much, my nana thinks
you're her niece.

- Huh?
- We've slept
in the same bed together.

- I've seen you pee.
- You-- Shh!

You let me feel you up.

One time.

And it was awesome.

You were high.

Don't you feel
anything for me?

Wheeler, you know I love you.

You're my best friend.

But I gotta look out
for myself, you know?

I can't build a future
with a guy who's happy just

tending bar and selling weed.

I'm sorry.

You should have brought
your dad's Mercedes.

Does this seat go back
any farther?

No.

After this, your dorm
is gonna seem palatial.

- God, your hard.
- That's the gearshift.

Oh.

- You wanna-- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What is that?

French women don't shave
their armpits.

Wow. You really
have gone native.

- Don't make fun.
- Just to warn you,
I'm a little out of practice.

- Not me.
- What? Who have you
been practicing with?

Myself.

Oh, well, in that case,
I'm an expert.

Your cardiologist know
you're eating like that, Herb?

He died... jogging.

Putz.

All right. Well, listen,
I wanna welcome everybody back

to the beginning
of our summer season,

our first board meeting,

and I want to extend a special
welcome to Rebecca Horowitz,

who will be serving out
her late husband Dan's
term on the board.

Dan was one in a million.
He had a great sense of humor

and a lousy serve,
which I'll miss 'em both.

All right, why don't we
get down to business?

I'm sure you all notice
the improvements

we had done over the winter
at the main entrance.

And next up,
we should be looking ahead

to the shuffleboard courts.

We have repairs needed there.

The estimates are coming in
a little high.

- Excuse me, Doug?
- Yeah.

Before we go any further,
I believe there is

a pressing matter
we need to discuss.

Okay.

The board feels that,
due to your legal troubles,

and the negative publicity
surrounding your upcoming
criminal trial,

it would be best
if you stepped down
as president.

Are you kidding?

Is this some kind of joke? No!

Pardon me?

I'm not stepping down.

I helped build this place.

I have been here since day one.

My daughter was bat mitzvahed
here, for God's sake.

Well, then I'm afraid
you leave us no choice

but to hold a recall election,

open to vote
by the general membership.

Okay, okay.

Good luck finding somebody
to run against me.

I'm sorry, Mr. Myers.

I'm afraid we don't have space
for you in our film program.

But I applied and was accepted
to the program last year.

And when you dropped out,
I'm afraid we offered your
slot to another student.

I wasn't dropping out.
I was taking a break,
you know, a leave of absence.

As you know, the film program
is very competitive.

Well, isn't there
anything you could do?

I'm sorry.

Hey--

What's wrong?