All language subtitles for Red.Oaks.S01E06.Swingers.RERiP.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb_track3_eng

- [TV blaring]
- [dog barks]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy, little man.

Try and keep it
in the bowl, okay?

I can do it.

How many pancakes
do you want, Lindsay?

Lindsay.

Take those
stupid things off.

Why is Bandit
on the countertop?

Damn dog.

Can you turn that
down, Nana?

Nana. Lindsay, check

and see if Nana's
still breathing.

Can I have juice?

I don't know who you are.

Does anyone know
who this is?

That's Kevin.

- How did he get here?
- I don't know.

Ooh! Mike,
what are you doing?

What did I tell you?
Don't touch the stove.

You're
going to get burnt.

- [giggling]
- Sit down.

All right.
Where are your shoes?

You guys cannot be
late this morning.

Kyle's mom is
driving you to camp.

- Camp sucks.
- Easy with the attitude.

Mom will pick you up
this afternoon.

What's for lunch?

Uh...

Okay, good news, everyone.

It's Pop Tart Tuesday.

Everybody gets Pop Tarts
for lunch today.

Yay!

I hate Pop Tarts.

You're getting
Pop Tarts.

Kevin:
Can I have juice?

Here. Here's Pop Tarts.

Okay, that's it.
We got everything?

It's breakfast,
it's lunch. We're good.

Have a great day.

Sorry about the mess,
Nana. I love you.

*Grab your coat,
honey, grab your hat *

*This train is leavin',
and it ain't comin' back *

*Don't need a ticket,
can't you understand? *

*You're on your way
to the Promised Land *

*Take me *

*Take me back to paradise *

* Paradise *

- *Oh, yeah *
- *Ooh *

*Take me back to paradise *

*Paradise *

*Ooh *

*Won't you take me
back to paradise? *

What are you doing?

[sigh]

I was having the most
wonderful dream.

I was hiking
in the Black Forest

with Andrea Jaeger

when we happened
upon a wood nymph.

I meant on the floor.

My wife kicked me out.

Oh, wow. Uh, I'm sorry.

You needn't be. Mm.

She does this
periodically.

In fact, I look forward
to the time alone.

Got everything I need here:

TV, salty snacks,
unlimited towels.

I'm laughing.

Well, let me know

if there's
anything I can do.

That's very sweet
of you, David.

Actually, since you asked--

Here. No fabric softener,
please.

It gives me hives.

Good morning.

* David *

Oh, she hates me.

- Who?
- Our daughter.

Eh. It's a phase.

You always say that.

Because I love you

and I'm trying
to spare your feelings.

Thank you.

If it's any consolation,

she's not a big fan
of mine, either.

I know. It's not really--
she never was.

True.

She and I used to be close.

Closer.

Maybe we've given her
too much.

We've made it too easy.

Oh, please. She's always
been her own person.

She is who she is.

Don't you remember
Day 1 in the hospital?

Already they're
calling her a diva.

Of course I remember.

She woke up
all the other babies.

And she wasn't happy until
she had a room of her own.

- [sigh]
- God.

It all goes so fast.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe we should have
a talk with her.

Yeah. Maybe we should.

I got to get to my massage.

I think I'm going
to take a steam.

Goodbye, darling.
Have a nice day.

You, too.

[sigh]

Hey, great job today.

Your footwork
has really improved.

But my legs still
feel like Jell-o.

Yeah, well, they won't
by the end of the summer.

Did you hear that,
sweetheart?

Hear what, babe?

David says if I keep up
with the tennis,

I can have sexy legs like his.

Well, actually, I didn't
use the, you know,
the word sexy.

Don't be modest.
You have very sexy legs.

Doesn't he, sweetheart?

Such strong thighs.

Calves aren't huge,

but they've got
good definition.

And a cute little tuchus.

- You squat?
- Only to pick things up.

Ha ha ha ha! Good one.
I'm stealing that.

I'm stealing him.

So, babe, you get
a chance to ask him?

Not yet.

So, Dave...

here's the thing.

You seem like a smart kid.

Good head on your shoulders,

hardworking,
but not a stuffed shirt.

Am I right?

You keep an open mind?

You like to have fun?

You up for anything?

- I-- I guess.
- Good. We thought so,

which is why Jean and I
wanted to talk to you

about joining us
in what you might call

a little social experiment.

- Oh, sugar.
- What's wrong?

We're late for lunch
with the Katzes.

That's today?

We were supposed to meet
them ten minutes ago.

Shit. You going to be
around after lunch?

- I think so.
- Great.

We'll talk more then.

I've got a good
little tuchus.

You really...

Hey, do you know the Blums?

Dale and Jean? Yes, of course.

He's my dentist.

It's really weird.
After a lesson today,

she grabbed my ass
right in front of him.

- Oh, my.
- He didn't seem to mind.

- He actually seemed
cool with it.
- Mm-hmm.

Sounds crazy,
but I got the feeling

they were hitting on me,
like as a couple.

They were.

They're swingers.

Seriously?

Ask anyone.

- Oh, God.
- What's wrong?

That must be what they want
to talk to me about.

I think they want me
to swing.

Ha ha ha ha!

Why you?

She likes my legs.

Those are not legs.

Those are broom handles
wrapped in chicken skins

dropped on the floor
of a barber shop.

Now, these--

these are legs:

strong like a stallion's,

iron wrought,

every sliver of muscle

intended by Allah Himself,

every quiver,
every motion deliberate.

What do I do, Nash?

There's only one thing
to be done, boychik:

close your eyes
and pucker up.

Ah, no way.

That's swinging, baby.

Herb.

Mr. President.

Uhh.

Aye yai yai yai
yai yai yai.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, my neck is all stiff.

Oh. You ever get that?

I haven't turned
to the left since 1978.

[chuckles]

You sleeping?

Oh. What, are you kidding?

With all the shit
on my mind?

Huh.

Even if I manage
to fall asleep,

doesn't help because
I'm up twice a night
to pee anyway.

- Twice a night?
- Yeah.

How about
nine times a night?

Every 45 minutes.

And two of the nine?
Mostly blood.

How are your balls?

Good.

Just wait till you turn 70

and they start to droop
like the ears on a beagle.

You eating?

Nah. Not really.

Yeah?

How about you?

Pudding and soup.

I haven't had
a satisfying crap

since Thanksgiving
three years ago.

And my knees
fill up with fluid

if I even think about salt.

And yesterday
I don't know what I did,

but I fucked up
something in my foot.

All right. You win.

You win, Herb.

You win.

Hey, handsome.

Hey, there, champ.

So, um,

about that thing
we were discussing--

I can't.

Can't what?

Join you that way.

No offense.

D-Did you think
we wanted--

With you?

We wouldn't dream.

We're not cradle robbers.

I'm confused.

David, sweetie, Dale and I
aren't interested

in having sex with you.

You're not?

We want to have sex
with each other.

While you film it.

This is legendary.
How did this happen?

Apparently they liked
the video I shot

of the Kornblatt wedding.

Please tell me you said yes.

I said I'd have
to let them know.

Are you nuts? This is
a dream come true.

Not my dream.

Every dude's dream:

getting paid to watch
nude people screw

3 feet from you.

How are you not weeping
with joy right now?

I don't know.
It just feels weird.

That's just your
bourgeois Puritanical
upbringing talking, man.

You really think
I should do this?

Absolutely.

Under one condition.

What's that?

Take me with you.

No way.

Dude, Mrs. Blum has been
my dental hygienist

since I was, like, 12.
All right?

I've always fantasized
about what her boobs
might look like,

and this is an opportunity.

Like, when-- when else
would I get the opportunity?

Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I just want to let you know
I don't need a ride home.

My last two lessons
canceled,

so I figured I'd
leave a little early.

Oh. Lucky.

So what are your
plans tonight?

Are we doing something or...

Well, actually,
I hope it's cool,

but I made plans
with Wheeler.

I figured you'd be
too tired to hang out.

Okay.

Uh, why? Did you want to?
[stammer]

No. I-- I-- Uh, God, yes.

I do. I'm just--
I'm tired,

so I'm probably just going
to go home and study.

That's cool.

[chuckle]

I'll, uh,
I'll call you later?

You know what? I will, uh--

I'll probably
just see you tomorrow.

So okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[chatter]

Judy:
Oh! Oh, hi!

Everybody look.
It's my David!

- Hi, David.
- What's going on?

Study group.

- Nice meeting you all.
- No, no, no, sweetie.

- Stay and celebrate with us.
- I can't. I have a thing.

I only stopped by
to grab my stuff. Bye.

Look at him. My baby.
He's so grown up.

- Dad, what are you
doing in here?
- Hiding.

I don't know where your
mother finds these people.

Honest to God, they're like
extras from a Fellini movie.

Hey, what do you say
we sneak out of here,
hit the Sizzler?

I can't. I've got
another video gig.

Wedding?

Private event.

Oh. All right, yeah.

- Take me with you.
- Huh?

I'm kidding.
I'm only kidding.

I'm kidding.
I'm not kidding.

Get me out of here, David.

I got to leave this house.

Please, take me with you.

Sorry, Dad.
I got to run.

Oh. Is it all right

if I hang around in here
until they leave?

Yeah. Sure.

Oh, David.

It's nice you have a hobby.

I can't wait
to see the video.

Yeah. Me, too.

Let's go.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, God, oh, man.

I cannot believe
this is happening.

- Wheeler, chill.
- How can I chill?

I'm about to see
Mrs. Blum naked.

I've been fantasizing
about this for years.

[ding dong]

Hi, there, beautiful.

Hi.

Entrez.

Oh.

Hi, boys.

Hey. This is my friend
I mentioned

that'll be helping me out.

Dr. Blum.

- Mrs. Blum.
- Hey, buddy.

- Still flossing?
- Religiously.

This is Mittens.

I want to shake your
hand. I'm Mittens.

I'll, uh, I'll just wave.
I'm actually allergic.

- Okay.
- [chuckle]

Well, don't just stand there.
Come in. Get a beer.

Are you hungry?
I made a lasagna.

Your place is nice.

I really like it.

Thanks.
Yeah, it's a good space.

Decent light.

Good energy.

Oh.

I'm going to start
with a wide angle lens,

if that's okay with you.

That's fine

as long as it doesn't
make me look fat.

Not a lens in the world
that could do that.

Okay. [chuckle]

All right.

David:
What are you doing?

So, Spielberg, we know
you're the director,

but we had a few ideas
we wanted to discuss,
if that's okay.

Sure.

So we rehearsed
a little scenario

we thought would be fun
just to kick things off:

some, uh, light kissing,
a little petting.

Maybe some oral.

Mutual masturbation.

Before getting
to the main event.

- Sounds good.
- Jean: Okay.

You ready?

Yeah.

Is, uh,
is something wrong?

They're waiting
for you to say "action."

Oh. Yeah. Sorry.

And, uh, action.

What the fuck?

Knock knock knock.

Oh, hello.

Thanks for squeezing me in
in such short notice.

Of course. Why don't you
just lay, uh,

face down here
on this massage table?

And let's get started.

Oh, you're so tense.

Well, I haven't
been sleeping well

since my wife left me
for a periodontist.

Oh, you must be
so lonely.

And horny.

Ah-choo!

Dale:
How's the angle?

So something like this.

You know, you just want
to always pop that hip.

That always works.

Or you could,
you know, just--

I'll keep shooting

if you want to walk
upstairs,

something like that.

Just want
to pop that hip.

It always look so good.

Oh. [chuckle]

Butterflies?

Yeah. A few, actually.

Hang on.

Oh. Thank you.

It should help.

Ready?

Uh, ready.

This cassingle is so boss.

- ** [rock]
- Let's do this.

*You put some magic in me *

- Action.
- * I feel the magic in me *

Ooh.

* Do what we do *

Okay. I'm coming in.

- Okay.
- [meow]

Okay. Keep going.

Ah-choo!

You all right?

- Hello.
- You getting this?

It's pretty great, guys.
Keep going.

- Hi, Mittens.
- [meow]

Yeah, you
feeling loose now?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Punish me.
- Ohh.

- Action.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Whoo.

[sneezing]

- Dude?
- Sound is good.

- Ah-choo!
- Oh.

[yowl, hiss]

Fuck off, Mittens.

- Honey.
- I'm just gonna move to here

so that I can, uh--

And action.

Dale? Oh, great. Oh.

That-- It happens.
Just--

Ow!

[laughing]

David: Okay.

[car door closes]

Jean, laughing:
Oh, God!

- Uhh.
- Oh, yeah.

Jean: Oh, honey, grab me.

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Come here.

Hurry up.

Right there. Yeah.

- Shit.
- Are you getting this, guys?

Whoo!

* You keep me all together *

Oh, my God.

*You tell me
I could never-- *

Now pout your lips.

What, like this? Like--

Beautiful.
My lens is fogging up.

Unbelievable.

Loosen up a little bit.

* You're my kind of lover *

There you go.

All right,
now give me the sexy.

Is anybody home?

- Guys!
- Dr. Blum! Mrs. Blum!

- Is anyone home?
- Shh! Guys!

- Jean: Yes! Yes!
- This is the police.

- Yes!
- Dale: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Jean: Uh--

Uh, is there a problem,
officer?

I got a noise complaint
from one of the neighbors.

- Dale: Really?
- Yeah.

I'm afraid I'm
going to have to

place you both
under arrest.

- Oh, shit.
- On what charge, officer?

Starting without me.

- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!

Get your camera, boys!

Oh, yeah.

I've been very
naughty lately.

- Yeah.
- I mean,

you should probably
take me to the station

but we can work out
some kind of a deal.

Handcuffs.

[shutter clicks]

You can take that off.

Hey-hey, don't be shy.

I'm not.

You're in the safest
place in the world:

my dojo.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe
I'm going to do this.

That was crazy.

Yeah. I don't think
I can ever have sex.

Again.

That's what I meant.

Okay, well, good night.

Sayonara.

I can't.

Baby, come to bed.

I will. I will in a bit.

I just-- That's--

I have
some work I want to do.

Sweetheart,
she's 20 years old.

You don't have to wait up
for her anymore.

Yeah. I will.

All right.

That was some crazy
shit tonight.

His back hair was like
the rug in our den.

What was with that cat?

Wouldn't leave me alone.

I think it was
in love with you.

I feel so violated.

You should be.
Have you seen your eyes?

Can't see shit.

[both laughing]

How are things going
with, uh, Misty?

Really good, you know?

We, uh, we hung out
last weekend.

It felt like we
really connected.

Without actually connecting.

What's up with you
and Getty's daughter?

I, uh, nothing.

We're just friends.

Not even. I mean,

I'm with Karen, so,
you know, it's whatever.

You were like a real
director tonight.

Thanks.

It was a little weird.

I-- I got to go.

I should get going, too.

Go ahead.

Legendary.

Legendary.

*Thinking of your
private future *

* You snatched at the trees *

*And the starry
dark green sleep *

*Thinking of your
private future *

*You think at the river
and set it flowing *

*A late fog's lifting,
a fast wind's rising *

*So you turn to reflect on a
brief night's session slip *

*Thinking of your
private future *

*Cut by the scars
of timeless coming back *

*You realize the unreachable
was nothing *

*Cool winds
wash down your hope *

*And you slipped *

*Cool winds
wash down your hope *

*And you slipped *

* Start looking back
in anger *

* 'cause you can't
change the rules *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *

* Ahh *