Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:05,283
No.
2
00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,385
Has it been a year already?
3
00:00:07,420 --> 00:00:10,455
� You're a grand old flag,
you're a high-flying flag �
4
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:13,958
� And forever in peace may you wave �
5
00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:16,195
We love the Fourth of July.
6
00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:17,430
It's the perfect holiday.
7
00:00:17,465 --> 00:00:21,133
You get to cook outside,
blow stuff up, wear shorts.
8
00:00:21,169 --> 00:00:22,601
Easter should be taking notes.
9
00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:26,639
ª Keep your eyes
on the grand old flag �
10
00:00:26,674 --> 00:00:28,340
That was longer than I remember.
11
00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:30,876
Hello?
12
00:00:30,912 --> 00:00:34,580
Joe, you should be thankful
that you live in this country.
13
00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:38,083
I spent half of my childhood
in a Banana Republic.
14
00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:40,986
It was the only store in my village
that had air-conditioner.
15
00:00:41,143 --> 00:00:42,776
Yes, Mr. President.
16
00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:45,012
Yes, sir, I'd be honored to,
sir. Thank you.
17
00:00:45,047 --> 00:00:46,780
Amazing news.
18
00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,249
The grand marshal for today's
parade just got #MeToo'd,
19
00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:50,617
and they need me to fill in.
20
00:00:50,653 --> 00:00:53,553
Jay, I'm so happy for you!
21
00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:55,789
So, now the only thing left
on your bucket list
22
00:00:55,824 --> 00:00:57,924
is to bare-knuckle fight a Russian!
23
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,392
Ay!
24
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,561
And Manny's gonna be back home
25
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,764
from his big road trip
just in time for the parade.
26
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,133
He's been gone for so long.
I can't wait to see him.
27
00:01:07,169 --> 00:01:08,268
That's great!
28
00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:10,003
We'll have the whole family
back together with me
29
00:01:10,038 --> 00:01:12,038
to ride in the convertible LeBaron.
30
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,920
Joe, how's your parade wave?
31
00:01:14,176 --> 00:01:15,575
We'll work on it.
32
00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,076
� Every heart beats true �
33
00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,511
� For the red, white, and blue �
34
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:19,979
� Where there's never a... �
35
00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:25,015
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,361
More!
37
00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:39,699
Yeah. I've got time to help you.
38
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:41,601
Look at your cousin being so sweet
39
00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:42,869
and helping out a friend.
40
00:01:42,904 --> 00:01:46,639
Such a weak little coward.
Are we done yet?
41
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,175
No. It's a really big bridge.
42
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,477
Or maybe you're just a really tiny man.
43
00:01:52,747 --> 00:01:54,680
Things were going great
on my cross-country drive
44
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,415
until I fell behind schedule
45
00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,018
after I developed a perfectly
rational, fact-based fear
46
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,532
of driving over bridges.
47
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,589
I called Cam for support
since he taught driver's ed,
48
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,025
- but he wasn't around.
- What?
49
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,593
Turns out a strong verbal lashing
50
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,162
was exactly what I needed
to get me across that bridge
51
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,832
and the many others that cover
this country like a cancer.
52
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,968
Okay, Cal. Let's say hi to Mommy.
53
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,303
- Say, "Hi, Mommy!"
- Whoa, whoa.
54
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,672
if I'm in that shot, back up
a-and turn the lights down.
55
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,007
We had Chinese food last night.
I look like a blowfish.
56
00:02:22,043 --> 00:02:23,809
Okay, you know what, Mitchell?
It's not about you.
57
00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:26,479
I promised we would send a video of Cal
58
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,747
to my sister for her birthday,
59
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,717
and that was a week ago,
so we got to get it done.
60
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,321
We have been watching
my big-for-his-age nephew Cal
61
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,822
while my sister Pameron is...
62
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,791
is back in Missouri
paying off a little debt.
63
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,192
To society. She's in prison.
64
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,627
For a tiny parole violation.
65
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,928
She tried something on in a store
66
00:02:42,964 --> 00:02:44,063
and accidentally walked out.
67
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,664
It was another woman's purse.
68
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:47,233
The silver lining is,
69
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,503
Cal is benefiting from
our parenting experience.
70
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,872
Mitchell is molding young Cal's brain
71
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,541
while I handle the young boy's body.
72
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,042
It's a miracle we're not in prison.
73
00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:58,177
Yeah.
74
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,913
Okay, let's sing the alphabet for Mommy.
75
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,581
Come on, you and I worked on this.
76
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,384
6!
77
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,319
You know, I think I put
so much information in there,
78
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,854
it's getting jumbled up on the way out.
79
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:10,389
Well, let's... let's do
some of your stuff.
80
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,457
Throw him a ball or something.
81
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,425
Okay, yeah. That's a great idea.
82
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,427
Okay, on the count of 3, Cal.
83
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,763
Are you ready? 1, 2, 3!
84
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,265
Okay.
85
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,699
All right, um... well, hugs!
86
00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:22,835
Hey, how about a hug?
87
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,538
Aww. He is such a good hugger.
88
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,605
Okay, here's the thing...
89
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:28,274
football camp started when Cal came.
90
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,441
Then I was laid up
91
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,343
because of that dinner
at Absolutely Crabulous.
92
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,079
Well, don't worry. I've been
slacking on my end, too.
93
00:03:34,115 --> 00:03:36,682
Yeah, but I've been telling Pam
that Cal is thriving here.
94
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,718
We can't send her a video
of him reciting his AB6s!
95
00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,955
- I wonder...
- Go on. I'm in.
96
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,990
Is it possible to shoot him in a way
97
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,892
that makes him look better than he is?
98
00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,794
Honey, are you kidding?
Vin Diesel's a movie star.
99
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,062
Anything's possible with editing.
100
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,667
What do you got there?
101
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,202
Just choosing some classes
for college.
102
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,737
This one looks interesting.
103
00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:01,974
"In this intensive"... Nope.
104
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,543
Drop that!
105
00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,211
Game day, buddy.
106
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,614
For the first time ever,
Luke and I are taking part
107
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,517
in the sport of kings,
the savory science.
108
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,019
We're teamed in a parent/child
hot-dog-eating contest.
109
00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:16,121
We've been training for weeks,
and I'm proud to say that Luke,
110
00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:19,491
like his old man, is blessed
with a dogger's mouth.
111
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,327
I felt something tear inside.
112
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,728
Push through it.
113
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,197
You'll thank me when you start
to feel the gorger's high.
114
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,503
Aah! What the hell?!
115
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,305
Is the hot dog making you angry?
116
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:36,075
An angry stomach is 12% larger. Boo!
117
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,710
I think we've got a real shot
118
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,612
to take down Rhonda and Thandie Hodak.
119
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,846
But they're undefeated.
120
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,082
I guess that makes us "under-dogs."
121
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,484
How long
you been sitting on that one?
122
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,686
Not as long as you've been
sitting on that couch.
123
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:48,854
Hey, hey.
124
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,422
Can I get in on that floor bagel?
125
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,425
Alex decided to take off
some time earlier this summer,
126
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,494
and, like everything else she does,
127
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,129
she did it a little too well.
128
00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,133
Who's there? Did you bring food?
129
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,735
Tomatoes.
130
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,937
But they won't be ready for six weeks.
131
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,305
You have a backup?
132
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,773
Well, I fell asleep on my phone,
133
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,175
and I think my face ordered another one.
134
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,178
You know, do you want to join me?
135
00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,480
You go back to work in a few weeks.
136
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,281
You'll regret it
if you don't relax a little.
137
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,217
Okay. Sure.
138
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,519
The... This can wait 10 minutes
139
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,989
until I get him into the ground, right?
140
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,393
Can you scratch my nose?
I feel like you're closer.
141
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,861
Okay, up on the table
142
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,797
for a little stomach massage
and heckler prep.
143
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,033
Hey, gals, things haven't
been going that great
144
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,934
between me and Arvin,
and he's stopping by
145
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,970
to say goodbye
before leaving for Switzerland.
146
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,371
Could you take off the onesies
147
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,640
and make it look like we don't
live in an insane asylum?
148
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:44,543
You suck! You eat like a moron!
149
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,912
My God! It's like you want Arvin
150
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,381
to throw his return ticket off an Alp!
151
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,450
No wonder she's so stressed.
152
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,419
She's wearing, like, a seven-sie.
153
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,158
Haley. Fancy meeting you here.
154
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,326
Wait, why? I-I live here.
155
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,896
No, I-I know. I was...
I was making a joke.
156
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,064
It was stupid.
157
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,066
No, it... it wasn't stupid.
It was funny.
158
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,233
Well, you didn't laugh.
159
00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:10,469
Well, do it again. I'll laugh this time.
160
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:11,870
I'd rather not.
161
00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:14,073
Sorry. I'm just, um, a little...
162
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,494
I'm really nervous,
and I feel like this goodbye
163
00:06:17,529 --> 00:06:18,762
has so much pressure on it.
164
00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:21,543
So let's just relax
and be with each other.
165
00:06:22,777 --> 00:06:23,909
I actually have to go.
166
00:06:23,945 --> 00:06:26,312
No, seriously.
167
00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,080
I misread my itinerary,
168
00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:30,282
and I have to get to the airport.
169
00:06:30,317 --> 00:06:32,184
No! So, this is it?
170
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,752
This is goodbye?
171
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:35,420
I'm afraid so.
172
00:06:35,456 --> 00:06:36,488
I'm gonna miss you.
173
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:37,623
I'll miss you, too.
174
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,458
Aww.
175
00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:41,260
That's my car. I should probably...
176
00:06:41,295 --> 00:06:43,028
Okay.
177
00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:46,077
Well... goodbye, Haley.
178
00:06:50,604 --> 00:06:51,937
Love you.
179
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,745
Love you, too.
180
00:06:58,411 --> 00:06:59,411
Is he gone?
181
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:01,980
- Yeah?
- Good.
182
00:07:02,015 --> 00:07:03,615
No one wants old fuddy-duddy dad
183
00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,150
ruining the big romantic moment.
184
00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:07,252
I'll be upstairs
hiding in Luke's closet.
185
00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:12,499
All right. There we go, Cal.
Chew the peanut butter.
186
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:14,377
See? Now, with editing,
we can make it look like
187
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,645
he's saying anything we want...
188
00:07:15,681 --> 00:07:17,948
numbers, the alphabet,
a joke about Jewish people.
189
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,000
Pam loves those.
190
00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:20,702
Movie tricks come easy to me...
191
00:07:20,737 --> 00:07:22,971
you know, clowns
being naturals at deception.
192
00:07:23,006 --> 00:07:25,306
It's true...
a couple months into dating,
193
00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:26,775
Cam told me he was a clown,
194
00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:28,443
did a little performance for me,
195
00:07:28,478 --> 00:07:30,178
and I... I did feel deceived.
196
00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:33,681
Okay, now, when I say "action,"
197
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:35,549
Cal's gonna throw me the ball.
198
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,751
You're gonna walk backwards,
199
00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:38,252
and then in editing, I'll reverse it
200
00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:39,854
to make it look like
Cal's catching the ball
201
00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,088
and you're walking normally.
202
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,423
Why am I even in it at all?
203
00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,558
Remind me of something,
Mitchell... is the best art made
204
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:48,161
by a million voices chiming in
or one man with a single vision?
205
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,370
Okay, and we lay in the piano later.
206
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:56,608
� Twinkle, twinkle, little star �
207
00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:01,005
� How I wonder what you are �
208
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,462
- I have to pee!
- He has to pee.
209
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:03,548
- Okay, he has to pee.
- Yep.
210
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,306
All right. Take five!
211
00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:07,578
Lily, this is our first cut,
212
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,547
so if you see anything wonky,
let us know.
213
00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:15,119
Hello, Mommy.
214
00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:16,587
Happy birthday.
215
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,556
1 plus 1 is 2.
216
00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,325
Simple math.
217
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,556
I can catch a ball.
218
00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,131
How'd you miss the cat?
219
00:08:28,188 --> 00:08:30,288
I didn't. That take was your best walk.
220
00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:37,963
That is gold.
221
00:08:44,796 --> 00:08:46,262
Why the giant bottle of wine?
222
00:08:46,297 --> 00:08:48,898
It's for perspective,
and nobody's asking that question.
223
00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:51,367
- Didn't I just ask it?
- Cam.
224
00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,636
Yeah, I know. It's certified rotten.
225
00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:01,210
Luke.
226
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:03,543
He's only getting 1/3 of the dog
on his first bite.
227
00:09:03,578 --> 00:09:05,545
Anything less than half,
and you're playing for second.
228
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:09,249
Well, the good news is,
the Fourth is weeks away.
229
00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:10,450
Um...
230
00:09:10,485 --> 00:09:12,952
it's... it's today.
231
00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:15,121
Toda... June...?
232
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:16,789
Yeah... gone.
233
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,580
There you are!
It's almost time for our show.
234
00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:23,816
- Wait... what are you wearing?
- Clothes?
235
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:24,950
I got to get back into school mode
236
00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,585
before I lose my edge.
237
00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,254
Mom, you might want to think
about rejoining life
238
00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:30,089
before your brain freezes, too.
239
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:32,024
Yeah,
don't you worry about...
240
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,092
me.
241
00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,695
What's that?
242
00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:38,564
Um...
243
00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:39,698
Listen.
244
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,602
No dad wants to have this talk
with his son, but...
245
00:09:43,638 --> 00:09:45,538
you're just not eating enough hot dogs.
246
00:09:45,606 --> 00:09:47,306
I'm sorry.
247
00:09:47,341 --> 00:09:50,309
For some reason,
I just... I can't focus.
248
00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:52,810
I think what Luke is trying to say is,
249
00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,044
he's too old for this contest
250
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,980
and he doesn't have the heart
to tell you.
251
00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,582
That's impossible. I'm an adult.
I'm still super into it.
252
00:09:58,618 --> 00:10:01,952
Yeah. My 20s should be
my prime hot-dog-eating years.
253
00:10:01,988 --> 00:10:03,721
That was just my first attempt.
254
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,589
I'm gonna figure this out. Hang on.
255
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:09,126
Despite what Alex says,
I have not lost my edge.
256
00:10:09,161 --> 00:10:11,161
Something just clicked.
257
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,125
Fine. You're right... it's college.
258
00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:15,327
- It is?
- Yeah.
259
00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,128
I'm distracted because
I'm feeling some pressure
260
00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,863
on which classes to take.
261
00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:21,132
But don't worry.
I'm gonna figure it out.
262
00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:25,036
Wow. How could you tell?
263
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:28,567
I'm just a... perceptive guy.
264
00:10:28,602 --> 00:10:30,736
I wasn't talking about Luke.
The clicking was in my jaw.
265
00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,739
My old TMJ injury was back,
thanks to all the training.
266
00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,641
I got it in college
when I bet my roommate
267
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,477
I could out-Frisbee-catch
his golden retriever.
268
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,379
And guess who wo... Aah!
269
00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:43,904
Aw.
270
00:10:43,939 --> 00:10:45,705
Arvin and I had the worst goodbye.
271
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:48,175
It's been such a weird
past couple months.
272
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,309
That long?
273
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,244
It feels like it all started
in the hospital,
274
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,445
after I told him I loved him.
275
00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:53,680
There you go.
276
00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:55,348
That's it. You pressured him.
277
00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:57,350
- Too much, too soon.
- Maybe.
278
00:10:57,386 --> 00:10:59,286
Something's not lining up.
279
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,426
Okay, you're right.
280
00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:02,561
Seriously?!
281
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,097
Something happened in the hospital
while Arvin was gone.
282
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:08,534
Lost again?
283
00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,869
No. This time, I meant to come back.
284
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,704
I have some pretty big news.
285
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,073
You should probably be sitting for this.
286
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,241
O...kay.
287
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,073
I lied.
288
00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:25,742
I'm not married anymore.
289
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,677
My wife left me for her ex-husband.
290
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,145
I'm a divorc�.
291
00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:31,581
Why are you telling me this?
292
00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:34,283
Because I'm back in town,
I'm going to nursing school,
293
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,352
and we might run into each other.
294
00:11:36,388 --> 00:11:37,787
I don't want to
spend the rest of my life
295
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,722
pretending my wife is in the bathroom.
296
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,859
Yeah, I would start to
worry about her after a while.
297
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:44,827
Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
298
00:11:45,374 --> 00:11:48,275
It's okay. I don't think
we ever really got each other.
299
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,844
Like, you know how when you and I
used to go to concerts,
300
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:53,479
we used to just look
at each other and know...
301
00:11:53,499 --> 00:11:55,098
It was time for me
to get on your shoulders
302
00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,266
and throw my bra at the drummer.
303
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:57,367
Yeah.
304
00:11:57,403 --> 00:11:59,336
Like, you probably
have that with Arvin, right?
305
00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:00,871
- Definitely.
- That's awesome.
306
00:12:00,906 --> 00:12:01,938
With my wife,
307
00:12:01,974 --> 00:12:05,475
she's pretty and smart and a doctor.
308
00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:07,518
But if you're always telling yourself
309
00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:08,719
how lucky you are,
310
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,821
it's probably because
you're afraid to ask yourself
311
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,056
how happy you are.
312
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,824
Right?
313
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,893
I brought ice chips.
314
00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:18,829
Or are they ice fries here?
315
00:12:19,932 --> 00:12:21,498
Ha.
316
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,317
I can't believe Dylan got into my head.
317
00:12:25,352 --> 00:12:27,319
I can't believe
he got into nursing school.
318
00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:31,790
That's the biggest one they got?
319
00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:34,392
Yes, and I'm not going back again.
320
00:12:34,678 --> 00:12:36,711
Have you seen Manny? I've been
looking all over for him.
321
00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:37,912
I don't see him.
322
00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:40,281
I've been here,
busy inspecting the troops.
323
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:42,417
Young lady, could you
straighten that hat?
324
00:12:42,452 --> 00:12:44,585
Sir, that... that horn
could use a shine.
325
00:12:44,621 --> 00:12:45,820
Haircut.
326
00:12:45,855 --> 00:12:47,755
Gloria, if this goes well,
in a couple of months,
327
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,457
I'll be lighting
the town Christmas tree.
328
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,626
- Take that, Dad!
- You know what is weird?
329
00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:54,162
After so many years
at Carnaval,
330
00:12:54,197 --> 00:12:56,731
to be at a parade
with people fully dressed.
331
00:12:56,766 --> 00:12:58,232
Gloria, focus.
332
00:12:58,268 --> 00:12:59,867
You've got a big role in this.
333
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,881
After I cut the ribbon,
it's your job to fire off the cannon.
334
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,050
That's the signal for everybody
to start marching.
335
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,253
But isn't the grand marshal's job
to fire the cannon?
336
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,588
So the ribbon cuts itself?
337
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,256
Gloria, what you don't know
about parades...
338
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,357
Wait, wait.
339
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:14,926
Papi! Hello.
340
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,195
Are you coming?
The parade is about to start.
341
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,197
Hey! Jay!
342
00:13:19,555 --> 00:13:20,687
Hey, Tom! How's it going?
343
00:13:20,723 --> 00:13:23,790
Great, actually.
My wife and I, we're back together.
344
00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:26,593
I... Well, not exactly.
I mean, we're going on dates.
345
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:27,861
- We're hoping to recapture...
- Yeah, yeah.
346
00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:29,062
I want to hear all about it,
347
00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,064
but I think the local paper
needs a photo.
348
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,532
O-Of course. Yeah.
349
00:13:32,568 --> 00:13:33,934
Gloria, get in the shot.
350
00:13:33,969 --> 00:13:36,203
Gloria.
351
00:13:36,238 --> 00:13:39,072
But you promised
that you were going to come.
352
00:13:39,108 --> 00:13:40,807
Just shoot. No, go ahead... shoot it.
353
00:13:40,843 --> 00:13:42,476
What? Okay.
354
00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:43,610
No, no, not yet!
355
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:49,483
Damn it, Gloria! It's not cutting!
356
00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:50,851
These aren't lefties!
357
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:55,227
Grand-marshal. Take that, Grandpa!
358
00:13:55,262 --> 00:13:56,662
You must be on top of the world.
359
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,034
Well, I'm putting on a brave face
360
00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,669
for the good of the country,
but the truth is,
361
00:13:59,704 --> 00:14:01,404
we did not get off to a great start.
362
00:14:01,439 --> 00:14:03,206
Gloria is not on her game today,
363
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:04,307
and I'm afraid she's gonna forget
364
00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:06,609
to lead the standing ovation
after my speech.
365
00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:08,883
In fact, I'm tagging you in.
366
00:14:08,918 --> 00:14:10,918
Your cue is "pursuit of happiness."
367
00:14:10,953 --> 00:14:12,820
And if you could sell it,
a "bravo" would be nice.
368
00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,089
Okay. I-I know what's wrong with Gloria.
369
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:17,158
This is a big day for you,
and she's feeling left out.
370
00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:18,225
No, that's not it.
371
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,293
Damn it.
372
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:21,350
You're not getting here till tomorrow?
373
00:14:21,386 --> 00:14:24,020
How does your name
even have the word "man" in it?
374
00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,087
Something just clicked.
375
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,489
- Jaw trouble?
- No!
376
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:29,592
She was just on with Manny,
who's not coming.
377
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,795
Don't Gloria and Manny have
some Fourth of July tradition?
378
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,120
Come to think of it,
379
00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:36,222
they share a slice of apple pie
and watch the fireworks.
380
00:14:36,257 --> 00:14:38,491
They've been doing that
every year since he was born!
381
00:14:38,526 --> 00:14:42,128
Until this year,
which is why Gloria is upset.
382
00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:43,295
- Yes!
- You're right!
383
00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,830
I let the sash go to my head.
384
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:46,098
I never should have brought it!
385
00:14:46,134 --> 00:14:47,533
I can help you out,
386
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:49,435
but you're gonna have to give up
on your little speech thing.
387
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,404
Hey, kid. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where'd you get the fireworks?
388
00:14:51,439 --> 00:14:53,606
- You a cop?
- Co...
389
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:55,608
There's a stand in
the grocery store parking lot.
390
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,109
But he's closing up.
391
00:14:57,593 --> 00:14:59,226
You get the fireworks and the apple pie.
392
00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,560
I will take care of Manny.
393
00:15:00,596 --> 00:15:02,496
I am back. I am really back!
394
00:15:02,531 --> 00:15:03,630
My car's blocked in.
395
00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:04,965
All this traffic, I'll never make it.
396
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,233
Look at that... right there.
397
00:15:07,302 --> 00:15:09,102
Check out! I'm a Shriner.
398
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:11,504
Cool! Listen, I need to borrow your car.
399
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,744
It's kind of an emergency.
400
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,712
But my dad's excited
to see me in the parade.
401
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,080
He was a Tuskegee Airman.
402
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,082
Maybe the minute you stop trying so hard
403
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,717
is the minute he'll start loving you.
404
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,419
Now hop out of there
and go clear a path for me
405
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,720
through those lawn chairs.
406
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,489
- Come on. I'll help you out.
- But...I don't...
407
00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:28,547
How about this one, okay?
408
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,149
Maybe we'll get lucky
and he'll be good at this.
409
00:15:30,184 --> 00:15:32,284
Okay, don't you think
this is a little hateful...
410
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,320
- waterboarding a clown for a prize?
- Come on.
411
00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,121
You guys spray each other
with seltzer all the time.
412
00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:37,490
That's between two consenting clowns.
413
00:15:37,525 --> 00:15:39,859
All right, one second. Let's get this.
414
00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:41,660
Okay, go ahead. Okay.
415
00:15:41,696 --> 00:15:44,263
- No. No. Wrong way, wrong way.
- Okay, all right, you got to...
416
00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:45,986
- Okay, it's fine.
- You know what?
417
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:49,502
Maybe it's just time we admit to Pam
we haven't taught him a thing.
418
00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:52,270
You know, I just...
I don't want to let him down.
419
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:54,926
I-I've come to really enjoy
having him around.
420
00:15:54,961 --> 00:15:56,394
I know, I know. Me too.
421
00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:58,129
But it's not like
we're bad at parenting.
422
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,798
I mean, Lily turned out to be
a smart, sensitive little girl.
423
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,434
You're a disgrace to this family!
424
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:05,870
I don't think you heard me.
I'm over the bridge.
425
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,139
I know. Now we're just catching up.
426
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,008
Sorry I didn't win.
427
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,377
No, no, no. You don't
have to apologize, okay?
428
00:16:12,412 --> 00:16:13,545
No, no, you did just great.
429
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:16,013
We're the ones
who need to do better.
430
00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,064
And you know what? You give great hugs.
431
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,966
Hey. We taught him that.
432
00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:22,318
Well, too bad it isn't exactly a skill.
433
00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:23,970
Yeah. Or is it?
434
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,873
Mutton busting?!
435
00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:27,974
Why? What is that?
436
00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,610
It's a sheep rodeo for kids.
437
00:16:30,646 --> 00:16:32,579
It's like you didn't even
have a childhood.
438
00:16:32,614 --> 00:16:34,047
Come on!
439
00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,250
The hot dog contest is about to begin.
440
00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,845
Sorry I'm not in worse shape for this.
441
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,381
Don't worry about it, buddy.
You've had a lot on your mind.
442
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,116
Any luck choosing your courses?
443
00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:44,317
Not yet.
444
00:16:44,352 --> 00:16:46,386
I don't really want
to talk about that right now.
445
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:48,021
Maybe you're putting
too much pressure on...
446
00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:49,956
It's more than just
picking classes, okay?
447
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,091
Can we just drop it and focus
on what we're doing here?
448
00:16:52,127 --> 00:16:53,993
Yeah. Of course.
449
00:16:58,325 --> 00:17:00,091
Exciting to be in the competition?
450
00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:02,561
Instead of sitting up in the bleachers,
like the last three years?
451
00:17:02,596 --> 00:17:03,728
I guess.
452
00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,664
Scary, sure, but it does feel good
453
00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:07,265
putting our butts on the line.
454
00:17:07,301 --> 00:17:08,466
You lose 100%
455
00:17:08,502 --> 00:17:10,368
of the hot-dog-eating contests
you don't enter.
456
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,270
Dad, I know what your bumper sticker is,
457
00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:14,105
and I know
what you're trying to do here.
458
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:15,540
But college is different.
459
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,543
I mean, you screw up at community
college, you're out of options.
460
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,136
You're not gonna screw it up.
461
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,772
I've messed up
a lot of things in my life.
462
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,140
I'm scared I'll do it again.
463
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,942
- Good.
- What?
464
00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:27,210
Being scared means you care.
465
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:30,547
Maybe... Maybe that's what's
been missing in the past.
466
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,415
It's the biggest thing
I've ever tried to do.
467
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,651
Contestants, ready position.
468
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,252
Just take it one step at a time.
469
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,022
Don't worry about the 50
to hopefully 75 hot dogs
470
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,089
you're gonna eat.
471
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,925
Just worry about
the dog in front of you.
472
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,098
And wet the buns.
473
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:46,266
Eat!
474
00:17:48,370 --> 00:17:49,936
Are we sure this is safe?
My gosh, yes.
475
00:17:49,972 --> 00:17:51,271
The kids love it, the sheep love it.
476
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:54,007
And I'm pretty sure it's too late.
477
00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:56,676
- Whoa!
- Hang on, Cal! Keep hugging!
478
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:58,445
My gosh. Pam is gonna be so excited.
479
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,447
He's already busting
at a first-grade level.
480
00:18:03,718 --> 00:18:06,152
Better get an X-ray.
You got trampled pretty bad.
481
00:18:06,187 --> 00:18:08,121
Looks like that ankle's broken.
482
00:18:09,691 --> 00:18:10,890
Really, Jerry?
483
00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:14,260
Haley? What are you doing here?
484
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:16,142
Well, you tweeted you were working,
485
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,911
the water tower's in the back
of your Instagram story,
486
00:18:17,946 --> 00:18:19,045
and you just left a Yelp rating
487
00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:20,347
for that falafel place
around the corner,
488
00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:21,548
so I figured out where you were.
489
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,583
Could you please stop
being so obsessed with me?
490
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,684
Wait... what?
491
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,719
That thing that you said
at the hospital?
492
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,858
How if a person felt lucky
to be in a relationship,
493
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,526
that means that
they couldn't really be happy?
494
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:31,928
Obviously, you did that
495
00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,363
to try and ruin what I have with Arvin,
496
00:18:33,398 --> 00:18:35,131
because you're not over me.
497
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,933
I seriously don't know whether to laugh
498
00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:39,102
or check you for a spider bite.
499
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,937
I'm sorry that you're
questioning your relationship,
500
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:42,038
but it's not my fault.
501
00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:43,740
Just admit it!
502
00:18:43,775 --> 00:18:46,009
You said that
to try and get back with me.
503
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:48,744
Look, in my heart of hearts...
504
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:51,013
which does not exist, by the way...
505
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:53,849
yeah, I still think about us.
We were great.
506
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,818
- Aha!
- Nuh-ha!
507
00:18:55,853 --> 00:18:57,186
You're the one who drove across town,
508
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,787
paid $12 for parking
509
00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,523
and then an additional $2
for the yellow wristband
510
00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:04,259
for beer and medical tent access.
511
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:06,496
It sounds like
you're the one who's into me.
512
00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:07,965
You're crazy.
513
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,633
There's no crime in wondering
514
00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,702
if we might still be good together.
515
00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:14,404
I still see us together
in my mind's eye...
516
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,540
- which, by the way, doesn't exist.
- I can't hear it again.
517
00:19:18,777 --> 00:19:20,577
Diagnosis... nothing.
518
00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,620
How was the parade?
519
00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,289
I had something more important to do.
520
00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:34,490
Apple pie?
521
00:19:34,525 --> 00:19:36,392
I got a few weird looks
at the drive-through,
522
00:19:36,427 --> 00:19:40,229
but it was worth it to
help keep your tradition alive.
523
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:42,030
You mean Manny and me?
524
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,847
It's not gonna happen, because...
525
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,315
I've got that covered, too.
526
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,752
� Ta-da! �
527
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,820
Hi, Mom! I miss you!
528
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,289
Jay! That's perfect!
529
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,623
It's not perfect yet.
530
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,994
Should we really give the dangerous job
531
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,196
to my only smart one?
532
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,032
�
533
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,804
Happy Fourth of July, Papi!
534
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,006
I'll be home soon... before you know it.
535
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,241
"Thomas Jefferson,
536
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,243
who was sort of
the grand marshal of his time,
537
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,912
believed this country should be
a place where people are free
538
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,615
to pursue happiness and a better life,
539
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:22,519
where we can set our sights on the stars
540
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,487
and, with hard work and determination...
541
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,191
...make the impossible a reality.
542
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,326
No!
543
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,795
Because Americans
don't run from challenges.
544
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,096
We embrace them.
545
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,233
God bless America.
546
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,336
Hold for applause."
547
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,904
That would've killed, right?
548
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,472
Bravo!
549
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:45,141
You know, I gave up a lot today.
You could mean it.
550
00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:49,729
Never too late to start training
for next year!
551
00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:51,769
Let's loosen up first
with some exercises.
552
00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:55,327
Lamalick. Dizzy Gillespie. Tiffy pop it.
553
00:20:55,352 --> 00:20:56,764
Hold it.
554
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,285
- And out. Tiffy...
- Dad, I don't think I can ever eat
555
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,508
another hot dog again.
556
00:21:01,228 --> 00:21:02,942
Yeah, I thought you might feel this way.
557
00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:05,898
- Hey, you there?
- What?
558
00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,440
We're having some trouble getting
these bad boys down.
559
00:21:08,465 --> 00:21:10,664
I'm not surprised, you pathetic losers.
560
00:21:10,689 --> 00:21:13,423
You two disgust me more
than most of these hot dogs.
561
00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:14,700
What's the hold up?
562
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:17,595
Are we saving our bodies
for bikini season, ladies?
563
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:21,055
- She's good.
- She better be. She's expensive.
564
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:26,080
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
41662
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof