All language subtitles for Animals.S02E10.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-QOQ_track3_eng

♪ ♪

(man shouting orders)

(helicopter buzzing)

(indistinct
police radio chatter)

(guns cocking)

(both speak indiscernibly)

♪ ♪

(breathes deeply)

(beeps)

Female voice: Mm-mm-mm!
It's a damn shame

she's not gonna make it
out of that building alive.

But then again,
no one will.

I loved her.

Sam-- well, The Reporter
as you know her--

she wasn't my first owner
or even my second.

See, I'm an old dog.
I've had many lives.

Some people gave me up
because they had kids.

Some people
just ran out of money.

Some people didn't want to deal
with the, you know...

(farts)
I mean, I get it.
I come with baggage.

You have to ball up
a little bit of tissue

to clean the gunk
out of my eyes.

You gotta buy me
the expensive food,

because it's good
for my bones.

Hell, sometimes
I can't even walk up
the stairs, child.

(dogs barking)
But Sam, she saw
something in me.

We clicked.

You know, when a dog feels

that bond in a human,
it feels good.

We feel it in our whole body.

Now sure, we may not
be as smarts as you,

but we feel just as much--

happiness, curiosity,

fear, love, joy.

(sniffles)
Yeah.

I'm gonna miss her.

♪ ♪
(crying)
Just gimme a second.

(sniffling)
I'm all right.

(birds chirping)

♪ Sit me in the way ♪
(Phil crying)
No, no.

♪ Motor on ♪
Fucking blew it.

♪ And drink you say? ♪
Fucking blew it, Philly.
They were all right.

I'm a goddamn loser.

And fucking Principal Leif--

fucking Principal Little Dick!

Fail me outta senior year?

I'll fail you outta senior year.

(shouts) Ohh!
Whoa! Hello!

What up, dude?
Jesus Christ!

Fucking senior year over!
(laughs)
(laughs) I know, yeah.

This is just like
American Pie, right?

Yeah! Mikey,
I'm gonna fuck your mom.
(both laugh)

Well... all right.
I wouldn't do that.
I'm sorry, man.

All right, come on.
Get your cap on.

What are you doing?
We're gonna be late.
No, just gimme a second.

(coughs, sniffles)
What, are you crying?

No, I'm not.
I'm just like-- it's a--
it's a big day, you know?

Hey, bud, don't cry
because it's over.

Smile because it happened.
You know?
(burps)

Like what girls say.
Like what
girls say, yeah.

Plus we're going
to college, dude.
(chuckles)

Animation school
in California?

Are you kidding me, dude?
(sobbing) I know!

Plus, I hear they hand out
condoms as soon as you
walk into the dorm.

They give you condoms?
Yes.

For sex?
Exactly.

That's so cool.
It's fucking sick.

Can I say something
real quick?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't have a dad.
You know that.
I'm very familiar.

As soon as you sat down
and you said, "Hey, bud."

I was like, "Woop!
You're my best friend."

I'm-- I am honored
to be your dad.

You're not my dad,
okay? See--
What are you talking--

No, I was
opening up a little bit.
You just said I was your dad.

Now you're making
a joke out of it. Fuck off.
You wanna go play catch?

Let's fucking do it!
Let's graduate!

Can't wait to get out
of this dump.
(chuckles nervously)

Totally, man.
High school sucks.

College is
gonna be so cool.

All right, boys,
come on, big smile.

Okay, we're gonna
start with my camera,
and then Mr. Luciano's camera.

Come on, let me get
my arm around ya.
Mom: Big smiles, guys.

Is that a gang sign?
No, Mom.

(whispers)
Rad boys for life, dude.
Yeah.

Here we go.
One, two...
(camera clicks)

So proud.
So proud.
So happy.

Hey, bud.
What's up? We should
probably get going.

No, I just--
I want to tell you
I'm so proud of you.

I know school
wasn't always for you...

Yeah. (chuckles)
...but you did it.

You are
a high school graduate.

Well...
And I am as proud
as a mother could ever be.

(crying) I'm sorry.
Can you just stop
for a second?

Are you crying?
I'm not fucking crying.

I get it.
I'm crying too.

(wails)
Okay.

Is Mike here?
Yeah, he's--

Did Mike see that?
I saw the whole thing.

Fuck off, dude!
Hey.

I'm sorry for cursing,
but I'm just like--
this is a lot.

Shake it off.
Shake it off.
Blah! (laughs)

I feel better now.
Come on, Mommy.
Let's go.

(burps)
(classical score plays)

Leif:
And of course, some of you
are going off to college,

others will be
rooting around in garbage
for the rest of your lives,

but I am proud of each
and every one of you rats.

But special recognition belongs
to your class valedictorian.

Please welcome Mike Luciano.

(all cheering)

Oh, yay, Mike!
Go, Mike!
Fucking number one!

Thank you, Principal Leif.

Wow. Can you believe
we did it, guys?

Man. So crazy, so sick.
(snaps fingers)

I want to thank my parents
and parents everywhere.

(cheers, applause)
Liz:
That's my son!

Honestly, we do it
all for you,

to make you proud.

I also want
to thank Mark and Jay,
my lacrosse co-captains.

(laughs)
Yeah! La Pura Vida!

(laughs, coughs)

But, most of all, I want
to thank my best friend, Phil.
What?

(whispers)
Dude, Mike, shh!
Liz: All right, Phil!

Nino: Yeah, Phil!
Mom:
I love you, Phil!

(whispers) Mike,
shut the fuck up, dude.

Sure, I'm valedictorian,
and he barely passed,

but we're in this together.
Shh! Wrap it up, dude.

I believe it was
the poet laureate
Billie Joe Armstrong

who crooned,
"It's something unpredictable,

yet in the end it's right,
and I hope you had the"--

Mr. Matarese,
what are you doing here?

Fuck me.

What the hell's
going on here?
Oh, wait.

You didn't
tell anyone? (laughs)
Oh, this is great.

What? What?
What did he say?

Ladies and gentlemen,
a good life lesson is
sitting right there.

(crowd whispering)
If you don't do your homework,

if you blow off
all of your classes,

if you refer to me
as Principal Little Dick,

if you spray-paint
"Principal Little Dick"
on my car,

if you somehow--
beyond my comprehension--

legally change my name
to "Principal Little Dick,"

then this is what happens--
you fail.

You fail senior year
and you must repeat it.

Liz, what's going on?

That boy, Phil Matarese...
(crowd gasps)

...is a failure.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Phil didn't graduate?

He shouldn't even be here.
Security, escort him out,

and don't spare the Tazer.

Um, I just wanna say that,
Principal Leif...

(shouts) You suck!
Fuck you, dude!

(laughs)

(male coughs)
Wait. Come on.
No one's laughing at that?

(crowd murmuring)
Fuck.

Mom:
Oh, Phil, how could you
not tell me?

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Mommy.

(burps)

Leif:
Did he just call
his mom "Mommy"?

(laughter)
Leif:
You guys hear that?

Male: Woo!
Leif:
All right, anyway,

let's get these diplomas
handed out

and send these kids
to their bright,
promising futures.

(cheering)
Leif:
Yeah-ha!

(ominous music plays)

(men grunt, shout)

(beeping)

(indiscernible chatter)

(shouting orders
indiscernibly)

(beeping)

(shouts orders
indiscernibly, grunts)

(hums)
(gasps)

(shouts indiscernibly)

(hissing)
(men screaming)

(doors rattling)

(gasps)
(beeping)

(gasps, shouts)

(man shouts orders)

(men yelp)
(whirs, thuds)

(clanging)

(grunts, shouts)

(hums)

(gunshot)

(mumbles)
(gun cocks)

♪ ♪

Hello again.
I want to introduce
you to somebody,

a good friend of mine,
perhaps my best friend.

(mumbles)

(spits, chuckles)
I'm sorry.

This is Murphy the duck.
Say hello, Murphy.

(deep voice)
Hello, my name is Murphy,
and I'm a duck.

I like to fly and swim
and poop on cars.

(normal voice)
Murphy, do you mind
that I chew you up?

(deep voice) No, no.
If it makes you happy,
it makes me happy.

And also, I have
a little squeaker inside me

that mimics the sound
of an animal dying.

It's in your nature
to want to destroy me!

(normal voice)
Murphy, may I hear the squeak?

(squeaks)
Very good, Murphy!
Oh, that was good!

You know I love you,
right, Murphy. You know that.

(deep voice)
And I love you too.

(normal voice,
growls) Mmm.
(squeaking)

(thuds)

You know,
they say that animals
can sense things--

you know, thunderstorms
or when someone is sick.

We seem to be able to tap
into an unseen plane of reality.

A peephole
into eternity of sorts.

A glimpse
into the hereafter.

It's true what
they say, though.

All dogs do go to heaven.

But not all men.

Some are just born to be bad,

angry that they're not God.

(sniffs)

Tsk. I feel something coming.

Something really bad.

(farts)

That wasn't what
I was talking about.

I mean something
in addition to that
is coming.

Something else really bad.
Not that.

(rock music playing)

Woman:
Could you turn
the track up?

(subway car rattles)
(rats laughing)

Mom: But, you know,
I think another year
could do him good.

Yeah.
Not everyone is ready
for college right away.

I tell you,
it's that Principal Leif,
that son of a bitch.

He always
had it in for Phil.
He did. He did.

Really.
Yes. I agree. Leif has
always been a dipshit.

What a dick.
What a jerk.

Thank you for the invitation.
It's a really incredible party.

Delicious summer salad.
You're welcome.

♪ You're always welcome ♪
♪ At the junction ♪

Hey, honey.
Hi, Mommy.

Come back
and join the party.

No.
Come on,
there's cheese puffs.

Can you get me
a plate of baby carrots?

You can come
get your own plate
of baby carrots.

It's just embarrassing
that I'm at my graduation party

and I didn't graduate,
'cause I'm a fucking idiot.

You're not an idiot.
I am an idiot.

I flunked out of senior year
of fucking high school,

and now I am able to just
cry freely into this pool.

Water to water.
Okay, honey.
I love you.

I mean,
I'm terribly disappointed,
but I love you.

Yeah, no,
that's the general theme
of the day.

(clears throat)
Hello, how do you do?

I'm so glad to see you...
buttfucker.

There's my little Mikey.
Hey, boy, come here!

Hey, Auntie May,
how's it going?
Aw, I love you.

Gimme some sugar.
Both: Mwah.

I flew all the way
from South Jersey to have
my goddamn picture taken.

(both laugh)
(smacks)

All right.
So, your friend the idiot,

he won't be going
with you to California,
I'd imagine.

Uh, Phil? I mean,
he's not really an idiot.

No, he's just kinda--
Oh, well,
that's your opinion.

Well, I mean,
he doesn't have
a dad, so--

Yeah, so?
I don't either.

All right. I guess--
Look, come here. I wanna
give you some advice.

Oh. Okay.
I'm serious about this.

You're a smart boy,
and you'll do great things.

Don't let that homo
hold you back.

Wow.
You're gay with him,
aren't you?

What? No, I'm not gay
with Phil, okay?

In fact, I actually
crush pussy, so--

Oh, you're
a little bitch, Mike.
What?

I said, "You're
a little bitch, Mike."
Fuck you, Auntie May.

Fuck me?
Well, that would be incest,

although I've always said,
"Incest is relative."

(laughs)
Ugh! You've always
said that? Why?

I didn't ask you
to come here, okay?

My mom asked you to come here!
I think you fucking did
ask me to come here.

Why would I ask for my--
Because you've always had
a crush on me.

Everyone knows it.
All of South Jersey knows it!
(rats gasp)

(sips)
Great seeing you,
Auntie May.

♪ ♪
Well, it wasn't great
seeing you, you little twerp.

Woo! I'm fucking wasted.

Aren't you
the cutest little thing?

You're not my type.

(sighs)
Mike:
Hey, man.

Oh, hey.
I heard you wanted
some baby carrots.

Oh, thank you
for the carrots
and the paper plate.

I love baby carrots.
Did you know they're just
big carrots shaved down?

They're not actually
small carrots.
Really?

Yeah.
I thought they grew little
carrots and then grew--

No, it's ugly carrots that
they can't sell in the stores,

'cause people, you know,
they like visual aesthetics.

They shave them down
into baby carrots.

Wow.
Yeah, but anyway,

listen, I'm sorry
about earlier today.

Oh.
Like lying about
not graduating high school.

Don't worry about it.
I mean, it blows.

It fucking blows, dude.
I mean,
here's the good news.

We'll still be able
to stay in touch,

You know, it'll be like
I never left, basically.
Wait.

What are
you talking about?

I'm just saying
when I'm in California,
it's like with Facebook

and with--
You're still going
to California?

(chuckles)
Of course I'm still going.

It was my idea to go
to the animation school,

and you're
gonna go without me?
I showed you that.

What do you want,
me to stay back here
and repeat senior year with you?

No, dude, but we
were gonna be a team
on this cartoon, man.

You didn't get
your shit together.
What do you want me to say?

I didn't get
my shit together?
It's not my--

I also don't have
a fucking dad, okay, dude?

So I'm dealing
with a little bit less...
Fucking dad shit.

...of a stacked deck
than you are, all right, buddy?

Well, that doesn't mean that
I should nix my dreams to--

It's our fucking dream!
In the 311 of this scenario,

I'm Nick Hexum,
and you're S.A. Martinez,

and that's not a bad thing,
but you just can't exist
without Nick Hexum. Got it?

As per usual,
you're making everything
about yourself

and 311,
which is its own thing.

You're fired.
(chuckles)
I'm sorry. What?

You're fucking fired.
You're fucking fired!

You're fired from my life!
You're fucking fired
from my life!

You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.

Fuck this, dude.
I'm quitting the Phil show.

I'll do my own shit.
(chuckles) Oh, and guess what.

What?
311's not even
that good.

What'd you say?
311, the band that
you so subscribed

your entire life to
isn't even that fucking good.

Sure, the one album,
the self-titled is great.
I love it, of course,

but--
(grunts)

There's a line.
There's a fucking line

and you fucking crossed it
and you know it.

Did you really
just do that?
You were outta line.

♪ ♪
(sputtering)

You gonna
fucking drown me?
(shouts)

I called it!
They're gays together!

I don't have a problem with it.
In fact, I'm sort of a gay icon.

It's a beautiful thing.

Shame on you
for thinking otherwise!

(both grunting)
Hey, boys!

Knock it off! You boys
are best friends! Stop it!

Get the fuck off me, Mike!

Have fun in California,
you piece of shit.

Yeah, I fucking will!

You see that pussy
sucker punch me,
Cool Uncle Jeff?

(munches)
So cool.

♪ ♪

(howling)

(giggles)
Sometimes I just
like to be silly.

Well, our time here
is almost done.

I'd like to leave you
with some parting thoughts.

(footsteps)

We all want love.

To be loved.
(clinks)

To give love.
(zaps)

To pet dogs.

To make
our parents proud.

To make
our children happy.

To make the world
a better place

for our brothers
and sisters

to live with compassion
(thuds)

and without fear.

To live brave.

(door slams)
(gun cocks)

♪ ♪

You know what?
Fuck you, Mike!

And fuck you,
Principal Little Dick!

And fuck school,
fuck graduation, dude,

and fu-- fucking--
fuck 311, man.

Just fuck everything, dude.
Psst!

Huh?
Hey, Phil, it's me, Nick Hexum,

from your favorite band, 311.

(gasps, whispers)
Nick H-E-X-U-M.

Yup, that's me.
Hey, Phil, what's your
favorite 311 album?

Oh, shit, dude.
Putting me on the spot.

Well, I'd have to say
it's a tie between Grassroots,

311, Music,
Transistor, and Soundsystem.
(chuckles) Equal.

Oh, snap!
No new stuff?

Oh my God, it's S.A. Martinez!

But it's not like that, dude.
I like all your stuff.

It's okay. It's all right.
I'm just playing, man.
We're cool.

(laughs)
So, Phil, do you remember
a song off Soundsystem

called "Life's Not a Race"?

♪ So hard to believe ♪

Yeah, exactly.
No, do you ever--
♪ Part of me will fade ♪

♪ In the mystery,
in a future world ♪

He gonna do the whole song?
♪ Long ago ♪

♪ Part feels for your love
And lives to tell you so ♪

Wow, he's really
going for it.

We get it.
We know the song.
♪ You can't stop entropy ♪

♪ So why even try? ♪
Okay, okay,
stop right there.

"You can't stop entropy,
so why even try?"

Do you know
what I meant by that?

Yeah! It's like life
is like-- it's a spiral

and it's also kind of
a staircase to heaven.

Mmm, not quite.
(whispers)
Nick, I don't think

he knows what
"entropy" means, man.
Do you know what entropy means?

What is this,
fucking English class
or something?

Get off my back.
Jesus Christ.

See, Phil, entropy stems
from thermodynamics.

It's a theory that all things
have a gradual

but inevitable decline
into disorder,

decomposition, collapse,
et cetera, et cetera.

(whispers)
Wait a minute.
From Chaos.

That's exactly right.
From Chaos.

And if you actually listened
to that album,

you'd hear me say,
"From chaos comes clarity."

See, Phil,
you're only given a limited time
on this wild ride called life,

and while
we sometimes can't control
the things around us,

we can make the most
of our time here.

So, maybe if you spent
more time actually drawing

and honing your craft
instead of jerking off,

you might not have
flunked out of school.

You could've gotten
that art scholarship
that you secretly wanted, Phil.

And as for Mike,
he believes in you, dude.

You're a fucking asshole,
and he remained your friend
this whole time.

Mm-hmm.
I mean, me and S.A. fight
every now and then,

but it's all good.
It's only natural.
Fuck you.

Just kidding.
Oh. Okay.

♪ ♪

(grunts)

(knocks)
Oh, hey, Dad.

All right,
I'll meet you outside.

♪ ♪

(chuckles)
Wow. That was
a great episode...

by Phil and Mike.

What am I do--
I'm a fucking asshole.

What time is it?
I can still catch him.

311, thank you so much.
We're here to help, man.

I love you guys so much.
I listen to you guys
every day.

See you later, Nick.
See you, Phil.

See you later, S.A.
Later, man.

Tell P-Nut
I said, "Wassup?"
You got it.

(door opens, closes)

All right, man, so what
do you wanna do now?

Uh, tacos?
Tacos.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪
So, I implore you...

live through love,

be compelled by love,

be motivated by love,

be in awe of love.

Don't let the world
swallow you.

Don't let
negativity, ego, money,

or accolades
guide your life.

Love your neighbor.
Buy expensive dog food--

it tastes better.

Because, really,
no matter what...

entropy will
win out in the end.

Goodbye, y'all.
I love you.

(snoring)

(police radio chatter)
(helicopter buzzing)

(dramatic music playing)

(beeps)
(humming)

(clatters)

(beeping)

(birds chirping)

Hmm?
(beeps)

Hey.
Huh?

(speaks indiscernibly)
(static)

(people chattering)

(speaking indiscernibly)

(continues over speakers)

(continues over microwave)

(speaking indiscernibly)

Please.

Mmm.
(beeps)

(alarm blaring)
(whirs, beeps)

(beeps, clanking)

(whooshes)

(hissing)

(people screaming)

(hissing continues)
(screams)

(screaming)

(shouts)
(all screaming)

Mike! Mike!
Where the fuck is he?

Mikey, have a blast
in California.
I'm gonna miss him so much.

Family hug!
Love you guys.

Be safe.
Bye, Mike.

Good luck.
Thanks, Mrs. Matarese.

I'll come visit you
in California. (kisses)

I'll write to you.
I promise.

Liz: Bye! Love you.
Nino: Bye, Mike.
Love you.

Bye, Mike.
Good luck.
Mike!

(pants) Mike!
Phil?

(pants, coughs)
Dude, uh...

I just wanted to say, "Later."
(chuckles) You know?
(chuckles) Oh. Yeah.

All right, have fun, man.
Bring it. Bring it in, yeah.
Cool, thanks, man.

(clears throat)
Text you when I get in.
Yeah, text me in the morning

or something.
Peace.
Cool.

Hey, man. You want
to, like, play video games
or something?

Okay.
Tight.

I'm Phil.
I'm Jonas.

I'm gonna call you Mike,
if that's okay.
I don't see a problem.

Mike:
Phil! Phil! Holy shit.
Everybody, get up here!

(rats murmuring)
Everybody, it sounds intense.

He's "Lassie-ing" us.
Mike, come on, hurry up.

Whoa. Holy shit.

♪ ♪

It's completely empty.
There are no humans
in sight.

(wind blows)

♪ ♪

(animal noises)
Phil:
It's just animals now.

Mom:
It's beautiful.

(rooster crows)

Auntie May:
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.

So, are you still
gonna go to California?

("New York, New York" playing)
No fucking way, dude.
The city is ours.

We can do whatever we want.
And fuck school.

We'll figure out a way
to make the cartoon on our own.

Yeah, yeah.
Like in Final Cut
or some shit,

screen it around town,
build a buzz.
Yeah, build a buzz!

We're never gonna leave.
What do you say?

♪ ♪
(coughs)

♪ Start spreading
the news ♪

Mike!
♪ I'm leaving today ♪

No, he's not!
♪ I want to be
a part of it ♪

Both:
♪ New York, New York ♪

(Mike and Phil vocalizing)

(door opens)

Oh shit! A turtle!

(dogs howling to melody)

♪ It's up to you, New York ♪

♪ New York... ♪

Phil: Whoa, dude!
That sounded good.

Mike:
That sounded incredible.
That was really good.

Hold on. I'm trying
to concentrate on the moves.

Sure.
Okay, and then
a little tush.

Great, we're all in sync.
Let's keep it up.

It's going good.
Oh! The sign's down.

Oh! There we go!
Both:
There's a fire!

Phil:
Look! Clear the room!

Just run! Run!

Oh God!
Mike: Oh!

♪ We will
be gone ♪

♪ But not
forever ♪

♪ Come on,
let's try ♪

♪ And know whatever we try ♪

♪ We will
be gone ♪

♪ But not
forever ♪

♪ We will be gone ♪

♪ But not forever ♪

♪ Come on, let's try ♪

♪ And know
whatever we try ♪

♪ We will be gone ♪

♪ But not
forever ♪

♪ The real truth
about it is ♪

♪ There ain't no end ♪

♪ To the desert I'll cross ♪

♪ I've really
known it
all along ♪

♪ Mama, here comes midnight ♪

♪ With the dead moon
in its jaws ♪