Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:07,875
Hi, I'm John Episode,
2
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:10,417
and here's an Oliver
of last clips Next Week Tonight
3
00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:11,834
with Jim Oliphant.
4
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,041
Sorry, can we do that again?
5
00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:15,166
We can't! We seriously can't?
6
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,000
Oka-- Here's a clip. Wow!
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,917
Now we've talked before about
Turkish president Recep Erdogan,
8
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,417
the mustachioed strongman,
9
00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:24,959
who once got hoof-punched
in the dick by a horse.
10
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,208
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-But...
11
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:29,708
but he's been attempting to
consolidate his power for years
12
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:32,458
and last Sunday,
he took his boldest step yet.
13
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,667
President Erdogan declared
victory yesterday
14
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:39,375
in a referendum that gives him
sweeping new powers.
15
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:43,041
His critics say this is a step
towards dictatorship.
16
00:00:43,041 --> 00:00:44,250
Oh, that's great!
17
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:45,417
I guess I can now add
18
00:00:45,417 --> 00:00:47,500
Turkey to my list of things
to worry about.
19
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,917
Along with America,
the French election
20
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:53,125
and whether John Cena is having
a happy 40th birthday today.
21
00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:56,917
And how the fuck John Cena and I
are the exact same age.
22
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,667
-Oh, my God!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
23
00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:02,000
That is heartbreaking.
24
00:01:02,417 --> 00:01:04,458
NARRATOR: Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver.
25
00:01:04,792 --> 00:01:07,542
Sundays at 11. Unless I have
something better to do.
26
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,333
So, Sundays at 11.
27
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,875
(theme music playing)
28
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,834
♪ Animals ♪
29
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:34,708
♪ Animals ♪
30
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:42,375
Previously on Animals:
31
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,625
Phil:
Hey, Johnny?
32
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,917
I can't wait to grows up
and be just like you.
33
00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:47,333
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, listen, kid.
34
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:48,458
We're different, okay?
35
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,500
Your destiny is something
much bigger.
36
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,625
That's what Pop wanted,
that's what Mom wanted.
37
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:55,041
We in big
fuckin' trouble, Johnny!
38
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:58,458
Johnny:
Alabaster, what the fuck
are you doing in Little Italy?
39
00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:00,166
You stay in your
fuckin' hood, all right?
40
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,417
I was hoping you'd say that.
41
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,792
Oh!
Johnny, no, no!
42
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,750
Remember my face.
43
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,083
Big Pussy:
We need to retaliate. Tonight!
(gasps)
44
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,208
Oh my God!
Someone killed Chuckles.
45
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:14,542
I killed Chuckles.
46
00:02:14,542 --> 00:02:16,959
If Alabaster's crew
is expanding their territories,
47
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,750
then we need
to do it too, all right?
48
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:22,208
Yeah, that makes sense, Philly.
It's time for Johnny's crew
to grow up.
49
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,750
Oh thank you
for your time, Phil.
50
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:26,375
You've grown up
into such a fine,
young feline.
51
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,959
Two Bridges is
Alabaster's territory,
all right?
52
00:02:28,959 --> 00:02:31,041
Are they gonna fall
for the Two Bridges trap?
53
00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:34,000
I believe so,
I think... (chuckles)
hook, line and sinker.
54
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,542
I want to do the hit
on Phil, 'cause, uh,
55
00:02:35,542 --> 00:02:37,708
he killed my brother
Chuckles and I wanna
do the hit on him.
56
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:40,500
You'll get your blood
in due time.
57
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,208
In doo-doo time.
58
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:44,000
♪ ♪
59
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,083
♪ Brother ♪
60
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:03,333
(beeps)
61
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,583
♪ Selfish Molly has a way ♪
62
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:07,083
(beeping)
63
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:09,208
♪ Of makin' ♪
64
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:12,417
♪ Any plans for her day ♪
65
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:15,375
♪ 'Cause she only knows ♪
66
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:18,583
♪ How to love all alone ♪
67
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,166
♪ It hurts ♪
68
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,417
♪ In my bones ♪
69
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,417
♪ And I swear ♪
70
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:26,917
♪ I swear, I swear ♪
71
00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,792
♪ You better stick with me ♪
72
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:34,166
(elevator dings)
(electricity crackles)
73
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,291
♪ ♪
74
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:37,875
(loud rock music playing)
75
00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:43,041
Yeah!
76
00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:44,417
Give me some of that shit.
77
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:45,500
(sniffs)
78
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,917
Oh, yeah!
79
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:51,041
I'm fuckin' high!
80
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,333
It's powdered sugar!
81
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,625
Hey, Philly?
Hey, what's up, Mikey?
82
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,166
Sorry, I hate to be a bother.
83
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,625
You mind just turning
the radio down
just a little bit.
84
00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,250
Oh, Mikey, you got it.
(sniffs)
85
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:02,834
Mikey, for you!
Oh, thank you so much!
86
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,583
All right, go back to bed.
I really appreciate it.
87
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:07,000
All righty, good night,
have fun, okay?
Yeah, you go back to bed.
88
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,083
Watch this.
89
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,583
Watch this.
(snickering)
90
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,458
(music volume increases)
91
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,000
Hey, Philly.
92
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,083
How's it going, man?
Yeah, Mikey.
What can I do for you, sir?
93
00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:18,375
It actually sounded
like the radio got louder.
94
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,375
Uh, no. I don't think
it did, Mikey.
95
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,959
You know what,
you're gettin' old.
96
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:23,375
I think it's your ear,
probably.
97
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:25,250
I'm sorry, if you could
just-- one more time.
98
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:28,333
One more time?
Turn it down a little bit
that would be really great.
99
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,041
All right.
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
100
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,333
Go back to bed!
All right.
101
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,625
Grandpa's got to go
to sleep, yeah.
102
00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:35,125
I do appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah.
103
00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,834
(door closes)
One more time?
104
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,166
What do you think,
one more time?
105
00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:39,792
All right, all right.
(snickers)
106
00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:42,375
(volume increases)
107
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,417
Hey, Philly,
quit fuckin' with me!
Come on!
108
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,125
Jesus Christ,
he's fuckin' with me.
109
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,250
He's singling me out
to fuck with me.
110
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,500
Ah, that resentful
motherfook-ay
a-mozzerel!
111
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,041
(exhales)
Just take a breath.
112
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,041
It's like the counselor said,
"Anger leads nowhere."
113
00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,458
Ah.
114
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:01,542
Philly.
115
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,000
Like what you've done
with the place.
116
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,708
Remember this used
to be my room, Mikey?
117
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,375
Heh.
I can--
I remember I was in here
118
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,041
the night Johnny died.
119
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,750
And I was yelling out to him.
You remember the last thing
I said to him?
120
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:16,125
My brother, Johnny, remember
the last thing I said to him?
121
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:17,917
I said, "I hate you, Johnny.
122
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,250
I hate you."
Philly, you were a kid.
123
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,250
Johnny knew you didn't mean it.
124
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,333
Yeah. No, I know.
125
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:27,208
(sniffs)
Hey, Mikey, you, uh,
126
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:28,792
are you going somewhere?
127
00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:32,542
Oh, ha, that thing, nah.
128
00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:37,125
One of those, you know,
nut jobs down the street
were handing 'em out.
129
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:39,542
Get some sleep.
130
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,083
Oh, and Mikey?
131
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:45,000
Don't ever raise your voice
to me again in front
of the crew. Ever.
132
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,458
(rock music blaring)
133
00:05:47,458 --> 00:05:49,083
(door slams)
134
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,917
Hey, Philly,
come have a drink, huh?
135
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,417
I think I'm gonna hit the hay.
Come on!
136
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,417
You guys have fun though.
Stay out of trouble.
137
00:05:54,417 --> 00:05:56,959
(clears throat)
Excuse me, God bless you.
Have a good night.
138
00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,375
Good night, boss.
139
00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:01,333
Hon?
Hon, are you home?
140
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,917
Phil, is that you?
141
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:04,208
There's my perfect wife.
142
00:06:04,208 --> 00:06:05,500
Can I have a kiss?
143
00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:08,041
How are you, baby?
144
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,250
What are you doing,
a Sudoku?
145
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:11,333
Oh, gosh, I've missed you.
146
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:13,083
Oh, Theresa, you're so innocent.
147
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,667
Let me just say something
right off the bat.
148
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,208
I'm sorry I haven't made
time for you.
149
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,542
Come on!
I really am.
150
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:20,250
No, I totally get it.
You gotta run the gang.
151
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,250
Mm-hmm.
You deal with
several antagonists.
152
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,708
They keep
comin' out of nowhere!
153
00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:25,792
And-- and a fraying
relationship with Mike.
154
00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:29,583
And not to mention carry on
your dead brother's legacy.
155
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:33,166
Johnny, rest in peace.
Those are big
shoes to fill, Phil.
156
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:34,792
(chuckles)
I love name jokes.
157
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:36,417
Theresa, you are
the love of my life.
158
00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,625
And that's the other thing!
There is no conflict between us.
159
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,625
That's true. It's like
a roller coaster that keeps
going up and never has a dip.
160
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:44,625
We're financially stable.
Mutual bank account.
161
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,125
We're faithful to each other.
162
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,125
Hey, by the way,
the guys, they really
appreciated the strippers.
163
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:50,917
That was a good idea.
The strippers worked out!
164
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:52,792
They worked out great.
Boosted morale.
165
00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:55,625
They need that, you know,
it's Christmas time.
You're the best husband ever.
166
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:57,375
Hey, baby?
Mm-hmm?
167
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,875
Wanna have sex?
168
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:01,417
Oh. I'm a little...
169
00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:02,959
bloated.
Bloated, yeah, okay.
170
00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:05,041
A massage might be nice.
Hey, here you go!
171
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:06,375
(purring)
Oh, oh.
172
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:09,166
I love you so much.
173
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,125
Oh, honey,
what's that poking me?
174
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,166
Why don't you go ahead
and turn around
and take a look-see?
175
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,959
Hamilton tickets!
176
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:18,750
Alabaster:
What you got up
on the walls there?
177
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:21,750
Those are free calendars
that come with Chinese food.
178
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,750
Free calendars,
look at that.
179
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,667
Don't the Chinese have
a way with calendars?
180
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,500
Calendars and fireworks.
Calendars and fire--
I always said.
181
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,667
Calendars and fireworks.
Calendars and fireworks.
182
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,000
The Chinese know how to do it.
183
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,667
And they're not shy about it!
184
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,500
Um, (clears throat), hey, boss.
185
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,625
Uh, something came up,
I need to talk to you
immediately.
186
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,875
(gasps) Is it Phil's crew?
187
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,792
Okay, let's get ready.
I knew this was coming.
188
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,125
Come on!
No, no, no, no.
189
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,959
The printer is out of ink.
190
00:07:43,959 --> 00:07:45,458
The big one downstairs?
The big one, yeah.
191
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:47,375
The big one that
has a million buttons.
Again?
192
00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,125
Now, this is what
stresses me out, you know.
193
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,375
(sighs)
We are an evil crime syndicate,
194
00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:54,291
and the thing that
keeps me up at night
is that people here
195
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,917
keep printing
full color pages. Why?
196
00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:57,959
I know.
They'll stretch out
these memes.
197
00:07:57,959 --> 00:07:59,542
And it's just like a frog.
Yeah.
198
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,000
It's got nothing
to do with work.
Yeah.
199
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,959
There's nothing funny
about it, really, in essence.
200
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:05,125
Yeah, I hear that, I hear.
201
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,750
Yeah, I'm actually working
on my one-man show,
202
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,834
and so, I actually
have to canvas some fliers.
203
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,959
Gigglepuss: Take the Bait.
My life.
204
00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,375
Yes, the one-man show.
205
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,208
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've told us many times.
206
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:16,041
Right.
Why don't you just
give us a taste?
207
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,375
Get it out of your system.
208
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:20,041
Stage is black, totally black.
209
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,250
Boom. Spotlight.
210
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,375
Me in a diaper
and a fishing pole.
Right.
211
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,458
I start singing
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
212
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,125
♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪
213
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:29,708
And then I point to the person
in the first row to start
the round-robin.
214
00:08:29,708 --> 00:08:31,625
♪ Row, row, row-- ♪
And it's great,
215
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:33,125
it's a great opening,
but no one shows up,
216
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,834
so it's just me singing
the friggin' song.
217
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,125
And one of these days,
we're gonna go see it, so--
218
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,625
If we had 16 shows--
Thank you very--
Okay, bye.
219
00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:42,000
I'll just leave you
a flier in here.
Bye!
220
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,250
♪ With this I'm scraping by ♪
221
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,417
Excuse me.
222
00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:50,875
You got any agave nectar?
223
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,917
Go fuck yourself.
Ah, Big Puss.
224
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:55,875
I'm just tired of the crew life
to be honest with ya.
225
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,208
It's just not the same
since Phil took over.
226
00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:01,458
Hey, Mikey, are you still, uh,
thinkin' about gettin' out?
227
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,125
I don't know, I'm all mixed up.
228
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,417
And I checked out
a couple shelters nearby,
but who am I kiddin'?
229
00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:07,792
No human would want me.
230
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,417
I'm old and my bum ear.
231
00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:11,959
Hey, you're beautiful.
No.
232
00:09:11,959 --> 00:09:13,125
You are.
233
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:14,583
Thanks, Big P.
234
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:16,125
I'm hogging conversation.
235
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,375
How are things
with you and Jeremy?
236
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,083
Good... I think.
237
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:24,166
I don't know, I-I-I just wish
I knew what we were, you know?
238
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:25,792
Well, how many
dates has it been?
239
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:28,834
Maybe ten?
Ten dates and you guys
aren't exclusive?
240
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,667
Is that bad?
Well, it sounds to me like
241
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,625
you need to have
a pretty serious conversation.
242
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:34,917
ASAP.
I know, I know, I just--
243
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,291
I don't want to scare
the guy away.
244
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,959
I mean, I really like
what we have.
245
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,959
It's-- it's nice to have
somebody around.
246
00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:44,917
Yeah.
And it's him, I love him.
247
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,166
Ah, shit.
248
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,917
I gotta go, uh, pick up
something for dinner tonight.
249
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:51,500
Phil's orders.
All right, hey, Big Puss?
250
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,625
Thanks for listening.
You're a good friend.
251
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,333
No, you're a good friend.
Aah.
252
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,083
And I'll see you
later tonight, okay?
253
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:59,792
Definitely, right?
Definitely, for sure.
Come on, man.
254
00:09:59,792 --> 00:10:02,500
I'll see ya later!
I got it! I got it!
255
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,208
♪ Cronuts ♪
256
00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,583
♪ Where are you? ♪
257
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:10,583
♪ Where are you? ♪
258
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,917
Fuckin' better
than Tony Bennett.
259
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:15,542
Where the fuck is
the frickin' cronut place?
260
00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:17,083
It was supposed
to be right here.
261
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,834
Hey! Asshole!
Oh! What the fuck was that?
262
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,542
(crew cackling)
(yowling)
263
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:24,000
Real cute scooter!
264
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,375
Big Puss:
Hey!
Fatass. Where's Phil?
265
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,542
Fuck you,
you bald motherfucker!
266
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,083
Outta my fucking way!
267
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,125
Wait a minute, I know you.
268
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:35,250
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not Father Anthony anymore.
269
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,542
I'm Gigglepuss.
(cackles)
270
00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:40,917
No, I saw your ad
for your one-man show.
271
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,792
Take the Bait?
Yeah, it's a good title.
272
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,417
Oh, man, thank you.
Thanks a lot, thank you.
273
00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:45,917
I heard it's getting
great reviews.
274
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:47,708
It's doing all right.
I don't want to boast.
275
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:51,000
There is life outside of work,
you know what I mean?
Yep.
276
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,708
We gotta stay active, you know?
You gotta!
277
00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:55,291
I've been painting a lot,
just some, you know,
watercolors.
278
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,834
Oh, that's great.
I actually had a gallery
showing in SoHo last week.
279
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,500
Oh, is that right?
You know that guy
Terry Richardson?
280
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,500
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ah, that's amazing.
He was there.
281
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,500
But guess who didn't show up.
Your boss.
282
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,542
Fuckin' Phil. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. Same with me.
283
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,959
You know how bosses are.
They always got
somethin' better to do.
284
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,166
Does this sound familiar?
"Oh, I'd love to,
I got a thing."
285
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,083
"A thing."
What, are you seeing
the movie The Thing?
286
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,917
(chuckling)
What? Are you gonna
play with your thing?
287
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:18,875
Stop jerking my thing around
and come to my show, right?
I love to chuckle.
288
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:21,250
Yeah. Chuckles. Chuckles.
Nothing better
than a good chuckle.
289
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:24,083
That's right, you killed
my brother, Chuckles!
Chuckle, chuckle.
290
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,667
Ah-ha!
This is for my brother!
291
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,333
Ah! Ah, no!
292
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:31,166
They're slicin' me up like
a piece of fuckin' mortadella,
you motherfuckers.
293
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:33,083
Oh, boy, this really stinks!
294
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,917
Oh, no! That's it
for Big Pussy, everybody.
295
00:11:35,917 --> 00:11:37,583
That's a fuckin' wrap!
296
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:40,583
Wrap me up like a piece
of fuckin' fish!
297
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,625
Fuck you, you cocksuckers.
See ya later.
298
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,750
(cats yowling)
299
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,834
Announcer:
Intermission.
300
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:54,542
But, uh, why not tack on
an infomercial, baby?
301
00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:59,208
Relive all your favorite
Cats: Parts 1 and 2 moments
with merchandise.
302
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:02,041
Who are you to talk to me
like that, you frickin' gabagoo?
Oh!
303
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,333
A Phil plush doll that comes
304
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,875
with its own line
of powdered sugar.
305
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:08,166
Ooh! That's good.
(cheers)
306
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:09,834
A Big Pussy doll
that can, maybe,
307
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,083
do, like, wheelies
and go off jumps and shit.
308
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,417
Get out of my way.
I'm trying to do a wheelie here.
309
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,625
Where the fuck
is the cronut place?
310
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,250
Announcer:
Posters, pins, bedsheets,
311
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,875
and the Cats collection on DVD.
312
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,375
"DVD's are dead," you say,
you little fucker?
313
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:27,000
Well, think of it
like vinyl records.
314
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,625
They were dead,
and now they're cool.
315
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:32,333
Plus DVD extras including
a "Making Of"
with the creators.
316
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:35,458
Can we please see
our "pawents" now?
317
00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:37,333
My fingers "huwt."
318
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:38,625
Announcer: So, buy now.
319
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,917
Buy, buy, don't think.
320
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,375
Thinking is for dorks.
321
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,875
You're not a dork, are you?
322
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,458
Call this fake number.
323
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792
Buying is good! Mommy, I want!
324
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:50,000
Mommy, I want!
325
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:54,250
(death metal music playing)
326
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,625
(rapid beeping)
327
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:05,166
(grunts interrogatively)
328
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,708
Hmm...
329
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:08,166
Huh.
330
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:09,834
Whew!
331
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:11,375
(camera whirring)
332
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,375
♪ ♪
333
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,291
(gasps, whimpers)
334
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:32,250
♪ ♪
335
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:36,875
(stammers)
(electricity crackles)
336
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,542
(shuddering)
337
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,458
(screams)
338
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,917
(screaming)
339
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,333
(static crackles)
340
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,708
♪ ♪
341
00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:00,125
(violin music playing)
342
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,792
(lively chattering)
343
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:05,959
Hey! Hey, hey, glasses up,
glasses up, all right?
344
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,250
I want to make a toast.
345
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:11,417
To Johnny, my brother,
and a friend to us all.
346
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,708
He would have been so proud
to see the crew
that we've become, you know.
347
00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:17,000
You know, back in Johnny's day
it was just Little Italy.
348
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,166
But now we got Tribeca.
We got Soho.
349
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:21,625
We got Nolita.
(clears throat) Excuse me,
excuse me, Phil?
350
00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:24,667
I'd like to add something
as well if that's all right.
351
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,375
Mikey, who is this guy?
No idea.
352
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:28,583
I'm sorry,
what's your name again?
353
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,083
T-Terrence. Yeah.
Terrence.
354
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:32,083
Terrence.
I think he's an intern?
How-- how long?
355
00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:33,625
We have interns?
(Terrence clears throat)
356
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:35,875
As many of you know,
357
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,917
I--I had a rough year.
358
00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:40,208
My feline leukemia morphed
359
00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,667
into a full-blown
lymphoma in February,
360
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:46,583
and after that...
(sighs) the tumors.
361
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:47,708
Jesus Christ.
362
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:50,125
If it wasn't for your
crowdfunding campaigns
363
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,333
and generous
personal donations,
364
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,291
I wouldn't be here today.
365
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,083
No, no, I mean it.
366
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,667
It's been a long road.
367
00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,750
But thanks to you all,
368
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,542
there's hope.
369
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:04,125
Okay, uh--
I have merchandise for sale.
370
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:06,542
Bracelets,
"Make Terrence
Healthy Again" hats,
371
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:09,083
Bandcamp page where
you can download my debut album,
372
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,417
inspirational DVD.
373
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:13,208
All proceeds go to Terrence.
Terrence is me.
374
00:15:13,208 --> 00:15:15,667
Thank you.
Everybody let's give
it up for Terrence.
375
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:18,166
Give it up
for Terrence, everybody.
Give it up for Terrence.
376
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,750
Thank you, thank you, thanks.
377
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,625
Okay--
So, Phil, as you were saying.
378
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,250
As I was saying,
it's a little hard to...
379
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,750
Honestly,
a tough act to follow.
380
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:27,083
You know what,
just go right back
to the equally important thing
381
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,166
that you were
starting with.
Go ahead.
382
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:32,000
This dinner, this celebration,
383
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,542
the changing of times.
384
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,417
Johnny's Club is no more.
Huh?
385
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,000
What the fuck does he mean?
What does he mean?
What's he talking about?
386
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,333
From now on,
we're "Phil's Club!"
387
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:44,083
Take it off, Junior,
take the thing off.
Show 'em the sign!
388
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:47,208
Yeah! You like that?
Cost a lot of money.
389
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,667
We're changing, all right?
390
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:52,166
Because tomorrow,
we're officially moving
to the coast.
391
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,875
We're taking Two Bridges!
392
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:57,500
Phil's Crew's gonna be
the strongest crew
New York City's ever seen.
393
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,375
(cheering)
394
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,333
(slurps)
Phil, what are you
talking about?
395
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,708
We said "no" on Two Bridges.
396
00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:05,083
You said "no," Mikey.
I said nothing, okay?
397
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:08,834
You know what, I got
Big Pussy down there right now
on a fuckin' recon mission.
398
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,834
Pickin' up some cronuts.
We're gettin' dessert, boys.
All right, dessert!
399
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:15,125
Wait. You sent Big Pussy?
By himself?
400
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:16,834
Into fucking enemy territory?
401
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,333
Whoa, whoa, Big Pussy--
Are you kidding me?
402
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,583
Big Pussy's fucking
tough, all right!
He can fend for himself.
403
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:23,875
And I'm not afraid of any
fucking crew, especially
not Alabaster's crew.
404
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,583
Have you noticed
he hasn't come back yet?
405
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,542
I'm fucking worried over here.
Oh my God.
406
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:29,500
He's probably just out with
one of his little boyfriends,
407
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,208
the fuckin' fanook.
You know what I mean?
408
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:33,208
Fuck you!
Hey!
409
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:34,583
The fuck did you just say to me?
410
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:37,041
I said, a fangoolah!
411
00:16:37,041 --> 00:16:39,250
You're a fangoolah!
Hey!
412
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,208
Fangool!
You motherfuck!
413
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,792
Hey, you motherfuck!
Yeah, your mother!
You butter boy, betcha bum!
414
00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:46,708
Fangool!
No, you're the fangool!
415
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:48,625
Heeeeeey!
Heeeeeey!
416
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:49,792
Sorry to bother you, boss.
417
00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,083
What do you want, huh?
418
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,083
You got a package.
419
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:53,834
Ooh, what is this?
Oh, you know what?
420
00:16:53,834 --> 00:16:56,583
I ordered one of those
Tempur-Pedic neck pillows.
421
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,000
I bet it's that.
422
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:01,250
(Alabaster's voice reading)
423
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,917
(tense music)
424
00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:10,250
Aw.
425
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,375
(gags)
426
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,125
What is it, Philly?
No, no, no, no, no.
427
00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:16,125
Fuckin' oh!
What's in the box?
428
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:19,583
Get it the fuck out of here,
I can't fuckin' look at that.
Let me see, let me see, hold on.
429
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,834
It's his head!
430
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,500
It's Big Pussy's
head in a box!
No!
431
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,125
They fuckin' Paltrow-ed him.
They fuckin' got Big--
432
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,458
All right, all right, all right!
433
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,667
Everybody suit up,
we're going to war,
all right?
434
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,625
Junior, put out the word.
Pier One in 30 minutes,
let's go.
435
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,208
Let's go!
This ain't a fuckin' drill,
here we go!
436
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,667
Philly, hold on, come on.
437
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,166
Let's think this through, okay?
438
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,792
(snorting)
439
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,125
We got to leave Two Bridges,
all right? We don't need it.
440
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:51,542
I'm sorry, Mikey, did you not
just see Big Pussy's head
in a fucking box?
441
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,625
Hey, I've known Big Pussy
since I was born.
442
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:56,792
Never in a million years,
did I think I'd see
Big Pussy get Paltrow-ed.
443
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:59,291
It's fucking crazy.
Mm-mm-mm.
444
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:01,125
It's honestly fucked up.
Honestly, pretty--
445
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,875
So fucked up.
Dude, it's like,
so fucking scary.
446
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,333
I didn't even see
what was in the box.
I watched you open it.
447
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,834
Yeah! I felt like barfing.
The blood left your face.
448
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:10,375
I honestly was about to barf.
I thought you
were going to, yeah.
449
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,291
But you were saying, I'm sorry.
Sorry, so I was saying.
450
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,500
It's not fuckin' lost on me
what happened to Big Puss, okay?
Mm-hmm.
451
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,166
Alabaster? His crew?
452
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,083
They're not like other cats.
They're sick!
453
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,708
I was there at the first
Pier One battle.
454
00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:22,667
Pier One-One.
455
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,625
Pier Eleven in some dialects.
Mm-hmm.
456
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,500
You choose to go
to war with Alabaster?
457
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,500
All these kids
that worship you,
you're sendin' 'em in to die!
458
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:32,500
Wait, wait, wait. I know why
you don't wanna fight, Mikey.
Why's that?
459
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,166
You don't want to get
anymore messed up.
460
00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:37,625
You want to stay pretty
so you can get adopted
by some fucking human.
461
00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:40,542
I know why you
had that brochure.
What the heck you talkin' about?
462
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,834
You want to leave
the fuckin' crew life,
then get out, all right?
463
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:45,125
Go live with a human
and drink some milk
out of a shoe
464
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,834
or whatever the fuck
they do in those houses.
465
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,166
I mean, really, Mikey,
you think you can get adopted?
466
00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:52,166
Look at you with that ear,
you're a fucking monster.
467
00:18:52,166 --> 00:18:53,959
You're the monster, Philly.
468
00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:55,667
You think Johnny
would've been proud?
469
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,375
At what his crew's turned into?
470
00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:58,917
The flashiness? The drugs?
471
00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:00,250
The paw-stitutes?
(meows)
472
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:01,834
Prostitutes but cats.
Mm-hmm.
473
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:04,875
We could've restored order,
and respect
474
00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:07,208
to being a New York alley cat.
475
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,875
But instead
we scratched and bit,
476
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:11,250
and all the kids got
iPhones and Snapchats.
477
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,375
And I don't get it!
I don't get the template.
478
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:14,542
I can't find
the "follow" button.
479
00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:16,708
"Order and respect," Mikey?
Order and respect?
480
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:19,125
That went out the window
the night Alabaster
killed Johnny,
481
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,583
and you fucking
know it, all right?
482
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:23,125
It's a dog-eat-dog world
and I'm looking for some pussy.
483
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,166
Let's go! (gasps)
484
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,500
Don't dramatically
block the door, Mikey.
485
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,291
You're still young.
486
00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:31,125
Go back to school.
487
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:33,000
Go to university.
488
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,083
You're smart.
489
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:36,333
You're not like
the rest of us, Philly.
490
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,750
I chose this life, Mikey.
491
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,875
(sniffles)
492
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,375
I love you, Mikey.
493
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:42,542
I love you, too.
494
00:19:42,542 --> 00:19:44,583
Do you wanna boy hug?
Let's boy hug.
495
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,375
You know, like
a too aggressive
pat on the back.
496
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:52,000
I'm gonna slap your back
to offset the fact that
I can feel your heartbeat.
497
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,125
It's a beautiful
and confusing thing, us boys.
498
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,500
May God look after you, Philly.
499
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,583
Hard cut.
500
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:06,166
All right, everybody
stay focused, okay?
501
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:09,083
I don't know where they're--
Shh, what the fuck was that?
502
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,125
Alabaster:
Mmmm!
503
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,667
Philip, right?
504
00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,959
You're Johnny's
kid brother,
all grown up.
505
00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:19,792
(scoffs) I remember
the last time we was here
506
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,625
and you were
crying like a baby.
507
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:25,083
Waa! Waa, Johnny!
You remember that?
508
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,125
Goo-goo-ga-ga.
509
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:30,125
Little baby.
(chuckling)
510
00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:32,291
(whispers) Psst, hey, Terrence.
You're gonna make it, buddy.
511
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,041
Thank you so much
for your support.
512
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,834
Always so nice
to meet a fan.
513
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:39,208
Let me ask you something.
How'd you know Big Pussy was
gonna be in Two Bridges, huh?
514
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:41,166
Well, I had a little help
from my friend.
515
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:44,291
You might know him
as Father Anthony.
516
00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:47,375
(with Irish accent)
Well, what do we have here?
A bunch of jerk-offs.
517
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:50,458
Father Anthony, you don't wanna
be here, all right? Things are
about to get messy.
518
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,917
Oh, Father Anthony?
Yeah.
519
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,125
Or is it...
520
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,500
Voila.
521
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,834
Wait. Father Anthony,
you're bald?
522
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:59,500
Listen, dumbass,
my real name is Gigglepuss.
523
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,000
You killed my brother, Chuckles,
524
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,333
now I'm gonna
kill you for revenge.
525
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,959
Oh! I really thought
you was Irish this whole time.
526
00:21:05,959 --> 00:21:08,458
Are you an actor?
Look, we're all
actors in some respect.
527
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,500
But I'm trying to be
a professional actor, yeah.
528
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,291
Wow!
I got a one-man
show going now.
529
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:14,500
It's doing really well--
Oh, here it is
with the one-man show.
530
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:18,000
So, anyway.
Yeah, guys, I want
revenge on Alabaster.
531
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,333
Gigglepuss wants revenge on me.
Bingo.
532
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,875
Now this has gotten
a little muddy.
533
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,667
I agree.
It is a little muddy, but...
534
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:26,500
Why don't we just go at it?
All-out brawl type of thing.
535
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,750
I like to call it a melee.
536
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:30,000
Ooh! A melee!
Yeah, I like that.
537
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,166
Complete chaos,
and then whoever wins
is the winner.
538
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,834
Okay, yeah,
that sounds great.
That sound good?
539
00:21:34,834 --> 00:21:36,333
This is gonna be fun.
Okay, so let's...
540
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:38,375
All three:
One, two, three.
541
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:41,375
(yowling, snarling)
542
00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:45,125
♪ ♪
543
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:52,041
Gig flies!
544
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,208
(Gigglepuss yowling)
545
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:55,959
Just make it quick, all right?
546
00:21:55,959 --> 00:21:57,291
Aw, no!
547
00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:59,625
For Big Pussy!
(yowls)
548
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:02,959
Mikey!
Did I fucking kill him?
549
00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:05,083
You fucking killed
Gigglepuss, dude!
550
00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:06,708
I fucking didn't mean
to kill him.
551
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,291
All right, focus up!
Focus up!
552
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,417
(yowling)
553
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:12,875
All right, Alabaster.
554
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,083
It's you and me, buddy.
You ready to meet your maker?
555
00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:17,917
Ah, Johnny's knife.
556
00:22:17,917 --> 00:22:20,083
Well, I have something
of Johnny's as well.
557
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:21,417
What, like a gift?
558
00:22:21,417 --> 00:22:23,959
Yeah, it's like a gift.
559
00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:25,750
You remember this?
560
00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:27,583
Johnny's tooth.
561
00:22:27,583 --> 00:22:29,041
Oh, you recognize it?
562
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:30,458
Phil, what is it? I can't see.
563
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:32,375
It's Johhny's tooth.
He pulled out Johnny's tooth.
564
00:22:32,375 --> 00:22:35,625
I've got Johnny's switchblade.
It's very symbolic. Feels good.
565
00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:37,500
All right, stay focused.
Stop talking to me.
566
00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,959
All right, Alabaster.
567
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,583
Let's finish this
once and for all.
568
00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:45,875
Yeah, let me finish it
once and for all for you.
569
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:47,166
Okey-doke.
570
00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:49,125
(both grunting)
571
00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:52,625
And then I'll...
I'll flip.
572
00:22:52,625 --> 00:22:53,917
Oh, will you now?
Haha.
573
00:22:53,917 --> 00:22:55,792
What if I did this, huh?
Yeah, what if you did?
574
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:57,250
Okay, I tried.
Oh!
575
00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:01,041
(both grunt)
576
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,583
(groans)
577
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,875
No. (coughs)
578
00:23:08,875 --> 00:23:11,875
(coughs)
Oh, Philly.
579
00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:14,291
(chuckles)
Oh, you got me.
580
00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:16,959
(groans) I was a good kitty,
581
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:18,708
just made all wrong.
582
00:23:18,708 --> 00:23:21,875
They gave ol' Alabaster
the wrong parts.
583
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:25,792
I bid y'all a farewell.
584
00:23:25,792 --> 00:23:27,500
Mwah!
585
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,875
(yelling)
586
00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,458
(gags, vomits)
587
00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:34,625
♪ ♪
588
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:36,875
Mikey, come close.
589
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,708
Yeah, Philly, what is it?
590
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,166
I think...
591
00:23:40,166 --> 00:23:43,625
I think I'm gonna go
finish my homework now.
592
00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:46,166
(groans)
593
00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:48,959
(mournful meowing)
594
00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:04,834
♪ ♪
595
00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,834
(neon buzzing)
596
00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:14,208
Woo! Terrence is
healthy and scary!
597
00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,625
Lil' bitch!
598
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:23,417
♪ ♪
599
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,750
♪ ♪
600
00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:33,458
♪ Stray ♪
601
00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,041
♪ Cats ♪
602
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:42,375
♪ Stray cats ♪
603
00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:45,583
♪ Hey, all you stray cats ♪
604
00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:47,458
♪ Go and find a home ♪
605
00:24:48,959 --> 00:24:51,166
♪ Wrap yourself in bandages ♪
606
00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:52,875
♪ Ah, stray cats ♪
607
00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:56,041
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats
Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
608
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:59,458
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats
Baba-loo, the stray cats... ♪
609
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,166
(wind whistling)
610
00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:06,166
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪
611
00:25:06,166 --> 00:25:10,125
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream ♪
612
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:14,291
All:
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪
613
00:25:14,291 --> 00:25:17,875
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream ♪
614
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:19,959
Dreams! That's how
you take the bait.
615
00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:21,500
(cheering)
616
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:24,250
Great!
Fantastic!
617
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,500
Go Gigglepuss!
Beautiful!
618
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,166
♪ We are sad and wasted ♪
619
00:25:29,166 --> 00:25:30,917
♪ Ah, stray cats ♪
620
00:25:30,917 --> 00:25:32,250
♪ Baba-loo,
the stray cats ♪
621
00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,708
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
622
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:35,667
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
623
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,083
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
624
00:25:37,083 --> 00:25:38,750
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
625
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,333
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
626
00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:42,083
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
627
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:44,750
♪ ♪
628
00:26:01,959 --> 00:26:03,625
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
629
00:26:04,375 --> 00:26:06,959
NARRATOR: Nature.
Beautifully chaotic,
630
00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:09,208
and yet meticulously curated.
631
00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:14,208
WORM 1: I really like you.
Can I kiss you?
632
00:26:14,542 --> 00:26:15,625
(MOANS)
633
00:26:15,834 --> 00:26:17,333
WORM 2: Ew. Were you making out
with that?
634
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,125
WORM 1: No.
That's a smudge mark thing.
635
00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:21,333
(SCREAMING)
636
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,291
♪ (DRUM PLAYING) ♪
637
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,041
-Square up, bitch. Bring it!
-(GROWLS)
638
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,041
(GUN FIRES)
639
00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,000
(GARGLING)
640
00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:28,917
(HISSING)
641
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,583
NARRATOR:
Since the dawn of time,
642
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,000
predator and prey
have coexisted...
643
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,792
(SCREAMING)
644
00:26:34,792 --> 00:26:36,708
NARRATOR:
...in a symbiotic relationship.
645
00:26:36,708 --> 00:26:37,875
♪ (DRUM CYMBAL CRASHES) ♪
48518
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof