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1
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,567
There is no God.
2
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,277
That much I know.
3
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:30,114
This world is too evil
to justify any higher purpose,
4
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:31,782
a higher being.
5
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,952
All there is, is pain
6
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,872
ever since they took her.
7
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,124
Now there's nothing
to live for.
8
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,960
But I didn't come this far
just to give up.
9
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,337
I still have one more
thing to do,
10
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,673
one more step,
11
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,176
one final task:
12
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:53,012
get revenge.
13
00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:56,015
(theme music playing)
14
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,813
♪ All of the animals ♪
15
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:05,191
♪ Out of your front door ♪
16
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:06,525
(rooster crows)
17
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,487
(both laughing)
18
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:12,072
Baby, you're crazy.
(sighs)
19
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,283
So who wants to go first?
20
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,367
I will.
21
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,204
A spoon?
22
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:21,040
(gasps)
Now we each have one.
23
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,833
Thank you, dear.
24
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,210
Of course, honey.
25
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,753
Here, my turn.
26
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,463
Your own boat
27
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:31,342
for when we finally
make it to the Hudson River.
28
00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:34,261
(gasps)
It's beautiful.
29
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,097
Happy anniversary, my love.
30
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:40,893
(distant mooing)
31
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,486
What is wrong, my love?
32
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:52,154
(sighs)
I just...
33
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,198
I just wish I could
do better for you,
34
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,909
give you more than a spoon
on our anniversary.
35
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,453
Gregory, I am happy.
36
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,788
Do you know why?
37
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,707
It is because
I am with you.
38
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,125
You are all I need.
39
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,336
How did I get
so fuckin' lucky?
40
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,337
(knocking)
(gasps)
41
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,755
Hey, who's out there?
42
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,341
(knocking continues)
What... what's happening?
43
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,551
It-- it's okay, all right?
44
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:15,010
It's all right.
Just-- just stay put.
45
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,220
(gasps)
Oh...
46
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,846
♪ ♪
47
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,974
(breathing heavily)
48
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,183
Ouch!
Hey!
49
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,435
You watch your waddle,
you dumb motherfucker.
50
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,478
Watch it.
51
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,521
(clank)
52
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,356
Get out. Go. Yeah.
(gobbling)
53
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,358
Come on. Yeah. Get.
54
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,818
Baby, shh, shh, shh.
(whimpers)
55
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,528
Just stay close
to me, okay?
56
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,990
I'm sure they're just
relocating us to a nicer coop.
57
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,701
Gregory, I'm scared.
58
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,704
(alarm buzzes)
59
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,087
Oh, yes!
60
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,797
Nice! See ya!
61
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,090
Yes!
62
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,925
All right...
63
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,260
Yeah!
64
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,595
(man mutters)
65
00:02:58,846 --> 00:02:59,930
Uh...
66
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,142
(both sigh)
67
00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,268
(grunts)
Aah!
68
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,644
Gregory! Gregory!
(grunts)
69
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,854
Sarah!
(grunts)
70
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,606
Sarah, it's gonna
be okay, all right?
71
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,816
You're gonna be okay.
I love you.
72
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,817
What's happening?
73
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,360
Where are they taking you?
74
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,778
Get-- get off of me!
Sarah: No! (sobs)
75
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:15,988
Get the fuck off of me!
76
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:16,947
No!
77
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,450
(gobbling)
(grunts)
78
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,118
(chuckles)
79
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,787
Gregory!
Sarah!
80
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,915
I love you.
Sarah!
81
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,334
(screams)
Sarah!
82
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,961
(loud mechanical whirring)
(gobbling and screaming)
83
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,005
Sarah!
(whirring and slicing)
84
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,757
Sarah.
85
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,383
(loud mechanical whirring)
86
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,556
♪ ♪
87
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,732
Okay, everyone,
gather around Grandpa.
88
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,485
It's story time.
89
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,654
(clears throat)
Excuse me.
90
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,531
Every year
around this time,
91
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,368
humans gather
to pay respects
92
00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:05,204
to the giant sailing demons
93
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,789
who glide overhead.
94
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:10,334
If you are a good
rat boy or girl
95
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,253
and stay in the tunnels
like you're told,
96
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,089
the demons can't see you.
97
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,632
But if you break the rules
98
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:20,052
and they get even a glimpse
of you in their world,
99
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,930
the demons become very angry
100
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,015
and will demand repentance!
101
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,850
(all scream)
102
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,145
But you kids don't have
to worry about that, right?
103
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,605
All: Right!
(coughs)
104
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,357
And that's good.
That's good because
105
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:36,235
the demon giants
remind us why we...
106
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:39,613
All: Never leave the sewer!
Very good, very good.
107
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,532
Now, everyone line up
and throw your favorite toy
108
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,951
into the sacrifice pile.
All: Aww.
109
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:46,870
(pop)
110
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,957
♪ ♪
(humming)
111
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,084
Excuse me, Phil Jr.,
take those headphones off.
112
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:53,836
Mom...
(scoffs)
113
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:56,213
Where do you
think you're going
on Demon Giant Eve?
114
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,673
I'm going to meet up
with Mike, Mom.
115
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,717
This Demon Giant Eve stuff
is for babies, okay?
116
00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,552
And I'm definitely not
a baby anymore.
117
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:04,221
(tiny cough)
Sorry.
It is not just for babies.
118
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,640
Yes, it is. Look, everybody
here is a baby except for me
119
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,267
and cool Uncle Jeff.
'Sup, Jeff?
No.
120
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,353
Boo, this is a moral lesson
for all of us.
121
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,732
It is a dangerous
world out there.
Yeah, yeah.
122
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:18,527
Promise that you are going
to stay inside the sewer.
123
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:21,238
Fine, I promise that
I'll stay inside the sewer.
124
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,282
I love you, sweet boy.
I love you too, Mommy.
125
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,159
I love you so much.
Okay, I love you. Stop.
126
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,202
Give me a kiss.
Stop! Uncle Jeff's looking!
127
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,163
Who cares? He's your uncle.
(sighs)
128
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,581
I love you, boo boo.
Okay.
129
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,416
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
I love you so much.
130
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,542
Okay.
131
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,338
Yo, dude. What's up?
Oh, there he is.
132
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,007
Give me some of that.
There you go.
133
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,842
Yeah. Cool.
Sick.
134
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,469
God, this is crazy
out here, huh?
It's--
135
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:45,429
It seems like
most families are inside
for Demon Giant Eve.
136
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:47,264
Yeah, and then
the Jewish rats are
137
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,100
at Chinese food restaurants
or at the movies.
Right. Mm-hmm. Wow.
138
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,685
It's a little spooky,
I'll be honest.
I know.
139
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,562
It's like a...
(echoes) Hello!
140
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,647
(echoes)
Gay!
141
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,566
All right, dude.
Today's the day, huh?
142
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:58,942
Yeah, totally.
I'm ready.
143
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,694
Phil, you're not gonna
wuss out on me, are you?
144
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,780
No.
You said we'd leave the sewer
145
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,823
the night of Demon Giant Eve
as a right of passage.
146
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,158
Yes, no, I know.
147
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,618
Okay, all right.
So, what'd you bring?
148
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,869
Did you bring anything?
Yeah, yeah. Hold on.
149
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,537
I gotta... check it out.
150
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,414
I think it's, like,
a chocolate dessert
drink or something?
151
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,082
Oh, cool.
I don't know.
152
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,293
It was, like,
kind of low, in the back,
and, like, really dusty.
153
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,170
That's where
they hide the good stuff.
I think it'll be good.
154
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,172
As long as there's
alcohol in it,
Yeah, there is.
155
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,882
I honestly don't even care.
What'd you get?
What do you got?
156
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,300
Okay. Hold on.
What do you got?
What do you got?
157
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,302
Come on, come on, come on.
Check it out.
158
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,304
What's that, water?
Okay, see, that's
exactly the point.
159
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,765
So what I did was that
I took my sister's vodka...
Sick.
160
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,809
...but I actually put it
all into this water bottle,
Great.
161
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,268
so it looks like
we're drinking water,
but the thing is...
162
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,686
Both:
It's not water!
163
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,021
It's vodka.
That's really smart.
164
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,314
Hey, before we go,
should we take a shot?
165
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,441
Yeah, let's do it.
All right. cool.
166
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,693
That'll calm the nerves a bit.
Definitely calm
the nerves and stuff. Cool.
167
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,695
Should I do them both?
You fucking dare me, dude?
Yeah.
168
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,905
Film this.
All right.
169
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,448
(phone beeps)
Hi, everybody.
170
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,368
My name is Phil Matarese.
I love getting fucked up.
171
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,870
Fuck parents and fuck
Demon Giant Eve.
Blah! Fuck parents and fuck
172
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,622
Demon Giant Eve, dude!
No, come on!
Put it back on me!
173
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:54,873
(laughs)
Put it back on me!
174
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,042
Put it... Ready?
Let me zoom in.
175
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,168
All right.
176
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:00,963
(gasps)
177
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:01,922
(laughs)
178
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,090
Dude!
Stop filming!
179
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,466
No--
Stop filming!
180
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,927
Dude, I'm sorry, man,
but this is gold.
181
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,720
That's a viral hit, man.
182
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,515
(cheering)
(celebratory music)
183
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,016
We should just go home.
184
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,601
Dude, we had a pact, man.
185
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,603
First of all,
it's super dangerous
186
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:20,440
to ever leave the sewers,
especially on Demon Giant Eve.
187
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,651
Okay, look, we won't go
out onto the street.
188
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,195
We'll just watch
the demon giants
through the sewer grate.
189
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,866
So, we technically
won't leave the sewers, right?
That's what I'm saying.
190
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,117
Okay, let's do it.
All right.
191
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,243
Let's do this shit.
Come on.
192
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,452
♪ ♪
193
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,291
(alarm blares)
194
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,961
(groans)
195
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,671
This is so sick, bro!
196
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,423
It's like we're in
"The Hunger Games"!
(laughs)
197
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,841
(chuckles)
Yeah.
198
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,301
Like you nerds stand a chance.
199
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,302
I got this.
200
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,345
(laughs)
Totally, man.
201
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,388
You're the man, Colton!
202
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,557
Yeah, that's right.
203
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,017
(grunts)
204
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,143
(grunts)
205
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,395
Colton:
Out of my way, nerds!
206
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,855
(gobbling)
207
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:02,733
Hey, here you go, man.
208
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,401
Look, you--
you gotta eat up.
209
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,778
I mean, he only chooses
the best looking one of us
210
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,196
to pardon each year, and...
211
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,907
you're looking pretty gaunt.
212
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,617
Who's "he"?
213
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,368
He's him.
214
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,912
♪ ♪
215
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,580
(grunts)
216
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,085
(squeals)
217
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,922
(both squealing)
218
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,924
(grunts)
219
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,133
(laughs)
220
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,135
(laughter echoes)
221
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,137
(gobbling)
222
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,516
♪ ♪
(Gregory pants)
223
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,770
Gregory:
I knew I loved her
from the moment we met.
224
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,271
We were kids.
225
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:45,025
I was small for my age
and would get picked on a lot.
226
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,610
She always defended me
227
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,695
against the taunts
of my classmates.
228
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,948
We married
right after graduating.
229
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,992
Gregory...
She was the light of my life.
230
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,871
But they don't care
about that. Hmph.
231
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,790
They just want
to carve us up,
232
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,249
gnaw on our flesh,
233
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,960
and throw us in the garbage.
234
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,004
I don't mind.
235
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,673
I'm ready to die,
236
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,175
but I'm taking that
motherfucker down with me.
237
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,718
(door creaks)
238
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,844
(clank)
239
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,471
(grunts)
240
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,681
(grunts)
241
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,810
Son of a bitch.
242
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,229
Hey, Gregory,
do it for Sarah.
243
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,607
Bah!
(grunts)
244
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,775
(grunts)
Wup!
245
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,859
Bah!
246
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,404
(grunts)
(grunts)
247
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,030
(chuckles)
248
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,615
Blah!
(grunts)
249
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,700
Gobble.
250
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:37,411
Give 'em hell, Greg.
251
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:39,871
(gobbles)
(grunts)
252
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:47,087
I still have one more
thing to do,
253
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,089
one more step,
254
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,717
one final task:
255
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,969
get revenge.
256
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,095
♪ ♪
257
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,722
(cheering)
(grunts)
258
00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,891
(grunts)
259
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,937
(chuckles, grunts)
260
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,484
(grunts)
261
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,777
(grunts)
262
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,696
(grunts)
(grunts)
263
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,614
(grunts)
264
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,617
(grunts)
265
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,952
(laughs)
266
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,707
(laughs, grunts)
267
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:24,791
Ca-caw!
268
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,337
(laughs)
269
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,640
(gobbling)
270
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,941
(grunts, laughs)
271
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,860
(grunts)
272
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,028
(grunts)
273
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,072
(grunts)
274
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,574
(laughs)
275
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,659
(cheering)
276
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,830
Mike: Come on. Here.
Phil: No.
277
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,873
Come on.
I can't do it.
278
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,375
One, two, three.
(grunts)
279
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,710
There we go, huh?
280
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,378
God, that was horrible.
281
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,505
Here, take some water.
282
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,672
And before,
let me start it.
283
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,965
I gotta just turn on my phone.
(beep)
284
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,759
Just for the video.
Sure. What was that?
285
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,553
No, I was saying continue
and take a sip whenever
you're ready.
286
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:19,763
(slurps)
287
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,598
That's the fucking
vodka, dude!
288
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,849
Oh, my God.
Sorry, I forgot.
289
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,434
That's not even funny, Mike.
290
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,311
I'm sorry. I actually--
I genuinely forgot.
291
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,479
It looked like
a water bottle.
292
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,730
I'm sorry.
What-- (gasps)
293
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,274
Oh, my God, dude.
Whoa.
294
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,195
I've never seen
so many humans before.
295
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,572
Fat ones, skinny ones,
296
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,449
brown ones,
not brown ones...
297
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,118
Can you see any
of the demon giants?
298
00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:42,452
I don't-- Is that one?
299
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,371
Is that a fat boy?
No, that's a big boy.
300
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,414
Mm-hmm, okay...
All right, look, we need
to get a better view. Come on.
301
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,542
You said we'd look
from the grate
302
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,794
and we're looking from
the grate, and I think
it's pretty great.
303
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,546
Let's just step out
of the sewer a little bit
304
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,839
so we can get a better view.
305
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,632
I mean, look around.
Does it look that scary?
306
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,008
We can't come all this way
and not see it.
307
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,969
You are just really good
at peer pressure.
308
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,720
I gotta say that. I mean,
it's, like, impressive.
Thank you.
309
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,097
All right, let's go.
Come on.
310
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,640
A little bit further.
Easy, easy. Slowly.
311
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,850
A little bit further.
Come on.
312
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:05,934
Just slow down, man.
313
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,018
I don't see anything.
314
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,353
Where are the demon giants?
315
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,604
(gasps)
Goddammit.
316
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,523
Dude. Dude, dude,
dude, dude, dude, dude.
317
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,151
Oh...
318
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,695
Both:
Demons!
319
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,488
Oh, fuck!
Come on, man.
(screams)
320
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,866
Fuck-- Get-- Dude, get off me.
Come on, man!
321
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:21,992
I'm gonna die!
Get off!
322
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,160
Kill Mike!
No!
323
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,328
Kill Mike!
324
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,538
Wait.
325
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,248
(whimpers)
It's passing over.
326
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,625
The demon giant spared us.
Wait a minute.
327
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,419
He spared
all the people here.
328
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,753
They don't look
evil at all,
329
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,338
and everybody here
is smiling.
330
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,757
Dude, all this
demon giant stuff
331
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,925
is a bunch of BS.
332
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,385
There's nothing
to be scared of.
333
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,054
What were our parents
hiding from us? This is great!
334
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,890
Let's go fucking
romp around, dude!
335
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,516
I think we should
go explore.
Yeah!
336
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,602
Come on.
Come on!
337
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,521
(mumbles)
(chuckles)
338
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,273
(mumbles)
(grunts)
339
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,610
(grunts)
340
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,405
(both laugh)
341
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:08,288
Oh, fuck, baby.
Oh, fuck.
Give me that big turkey dick!
342
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,331
(giggles)
343
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,668
I love you, Gregory.
344
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,170
I love you, Sarah.
345
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,796
(giggles)
346
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,298
I love swings.
347
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,841
I love you on a swing.
348
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:20,884
No!
(giggles)
349
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,427
Gregory!
Don't fall.
350
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,221
It's too high.
It's too... (giggles)
351
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,182
It's too high. No, please.
Wow, the sun.
352
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,850
Three, two, one.
353
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:32,395
(grunts)
(gobbles)
354
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,022
(gobbles)
(grunts)
355
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,398
(growls)
356
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,441
(grunts)
357
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,276
(whimpers)
(gobbles)
358
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,361
(gasps)
359
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,403
(chuckles)
360
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:43,782
No! No!
361
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,742
You motherfucker!
Come back! Goddammit!
362
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,869
Uh-uh-uh!
I'll kill you,
you son of a bitch!
363
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,871
No! No!
364
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,331
Get back here!
365
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,375
(mumbles)
(grunts)
366
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,627
Ahh.
367
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,921
Oh, my God.
This is somethin' else.
368
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,547
Papa likes, huh?
Papa...
369
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,174
Papa Philly likey dis!
370
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,884
Papa Mikey likey too.
371
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,970
What was that? Italian?
I don't know. It's a little...
372
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,805
I don't know.
It was funny.
373
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,265
I can't believe we've been
missing out on this
our whole lives.
374
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,474
I mean, look-- look
at the ground.
375
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,476
There's so much trash.
Yes!
376
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,479
It's almost like the sewer,
but it's up here.
Yeah! Exactly.
377
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,106
And also, what's
the deal with that?
378
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,816
Oh, my God, that.
Oh, my God.
Thing's warm, dude.
379
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,776
Yeah.
That thing feels necessary.
380
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,695
I might never go
back down to the sewer.
381
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,113
I was just
thinking that, dude.
382
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,281
Maybe for birthdays
383
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,907
or, like, nephews
graduating or something.
384
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,158
But, like, this is
where I want to be.
Yeah.
385
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,994
Up here.
Exactly. The older I get--
386
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,996
Do you want another one
of these, by the way?
Yes, of course.
387
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,163
Here you go.
The older I get,
388
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,790
the more I realize
389
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,668
the sewer, it's all fucked up
down there, dude.
Yeah.
390
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,378
There's a lot of problems.
All these adult rules.
391
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,504
It's bullshit.
Bullshit.
392
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,298
It's BS.
Uh-huh.
393
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:44,843
All it is, is the rat
trying to keep cool dudes
Preach. Preach it, dude.
394
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,553
like us down, man!
395
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,388
Fuck the rat, dude.
Fuck the rat!
396
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,472
Fuck the rat.
397
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,433
Both:
Fuck the rat!
398
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,310
Fuck the rat!
399
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,853
Fuck the rat!
400
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,688
Fuck the rat!
401
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,565
(gasps)
402
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,192
(crowd gasps and whispers)
403
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,196
(grunts)
(overlapping chatter)
404
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,531
(grunts)
405
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,075
(crowd yells)
406
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,369
(grunts)
407
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,541
(grunts)
408
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,299
(gunshots)
(screaming)
409
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,759
(mumbles)
410
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,511
(grunts)
411
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,763
(grunts)
412
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:33,933
(whimpers)
413
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,063
(grunts)
414
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,858
(grunts)
(grunts)
415
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,943
(clattering, shattering)
416
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:46,946
(tires screech)
417
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,242
(crowd screams)
418
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,494
(grunts)
419
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:57,582
(hissing)
420
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,126
(grunts)
421
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,462
(screams)
422
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,010
(grunts)
423
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,679
Both:
Fuck the rat!
424
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,181
Fuck the rat!
425
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,474
Fuck the rat!
Oh...
426
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,018
(hissing)
427
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,145
Both:
Demon!
428
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,897
(both scream)
429
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,816
Fuck! Come on, man! Come on!
Demon!
430
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,194
(grunts)
431
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,197
(grunts)
432
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,699
(grunts)
433
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,703
What?
434
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,081
Uh-oh.
435
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,749
(spits)
436
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,086
You thought you'd get away.
437
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,255
Ya thought
you were untouchable.
438
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,425
Well, it looks like
your chickens have
come home to roost.
439
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,468
(chuckles)
(grunts)
440
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,221
(gobbling)
441
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,557
This is for all
those turkeys you killed.
442
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,935
All those turkeys you handed
out like fucking candy
443
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,563
instead of creatures
who had thoughts,
444
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,440
memories, families,
445
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,899
people who loved them.
446
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,444
(gobbles)
(grunts)
447
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,945
(gobbles)
(grunts)
448
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,907
(gasps)
But most of all,
449
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,742
this is for Sarah...
450
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:18,329
a beautiful, smart,
strong turkey...
451
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,999
who was also my wife.
452
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,000
(whimpers)
453
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,334
(click)
454
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,254
Before you die,
I want you to say her name.
455
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,755
Say her name.
456
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:28,840
Say it!
457
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,924
Say "Sarah"!
458
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:32,135
(whimpers)
Gobble, gobble, gobble.
459
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,470
Gobble, gobble, gobble, say,
460
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,846
gobble, gobble,
gobble,"Sarah."
461
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,890
Gobble, gobble, gobble,
say "Sarah."
462
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,017
Gobble, gobble, gobble,
say "Sarah"!
463
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,143
(whimpers)
464
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,353
Sarah.
465
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,730
(gunshot echoes)
466
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,648
♪ ♪
467
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:54,199
♪ We must
modernize Jerusalem ♪
468
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:57,619
♪ Detonate the temples ♪
469
00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:01,706
♪ Let them fight
over the dust ♪
470
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:10,215
♪ We will organize
in Bethlehem ♪
471
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:13,259
♪ Able bodied women ♪
472
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:17,305
♪ And agnostic
headstrong men ♪
473
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:20,934
♪ All will meet at ten ♪
474
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,894
♪ If you lose ♪
475
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:27,482
♪ Your fear of God ♪
476
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:32,278
♪ You are an animal ♪
477
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,448
♪ At heart ♪
478
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:39,410
♪ Heart ♪
479
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:44,165
♪ Show your teeth
to everyone ♪
480
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,336
♪ Don't let no one
prove you wrong ♪
481
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:52,298
♪ You are an animal ♪
482
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,175
♪ An animal ♪
483
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,177
♪ An animal ♪
484
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:59,597
♪ Show your teeth
to everyone ♪
485
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:03,977
♪ Don't let no one
prove you wrong ♪
486
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:07,522
♪ You are an animal ♪
487
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,399
♪ An animal ♪
488
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,360
♪ An animal ♪
489
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,870
♪ We must rearrange reality ♪
490
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,957
♪ Shuffle all the cards ♪
491
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:29,419
♪ Play the joker
with the queen ♪
492
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,046
♪ ♪
493
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,224
We made it, Sarah.
494
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,435
We made it to the Hudson.
495
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,437
(coughs)
496
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,230
I'm comin' home now.
497
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,279
(sighs)
498
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,620
♪ ♪
499
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,999
Pump that up real quick
just a few more notches.
500
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,917
Let me just go ahead
and hit that. Mm!
501
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,211
This is all we need.
Yes.
502
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,630
A rat in a sewer.
503
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,882
That's what makes sense.
Oh, it just feels right.
504
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,301
I mean, it's a fucked up
world up there.
So fucked!
505
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:21,721
Those demon giants are
real as fuck, man.
No thank you. (laughs)
506
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,390
Yeah, it's pure evil
up there straight up.
507
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,184
Crazy journey though,
you gotta admit.
508
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,435
It has been a fun ride.
509
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,187
We've met so many
interesting people
510
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,105
and we've done
so many interesting things.
511
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,899
The most important thing
is that I got to--
512
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,233
I got to do it with you.
513
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,569
You know, I got to go
on all these crazy adventures
514
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,988
with my...
my best friend, Mikey.
515
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,865
Ah. Dude, you're
my best friend, man.
516
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:41,949
You're my best friend, Mikey.
517
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,409
(clears throat)
It's okay.
518
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,037
I mean, honestly,
if this was the end,
519
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,206
I'd be content, dude.
520
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,874
Yeah. Me too, man.
521
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,542
To the time of our lives.
522
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,711
No, I'm... I'm probably
just gonna wait on that.
523
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,463
I don't wanna...
It's just water. Don't worry.
524
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,215
Yeah, yeah.
525
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,758
I got the bottles
mixed up again.
526
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,426
You know,
they say fool me once--
That was on me.
527
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,969
They say fool me once,
shame on you.
Right.
528
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,888
You fooled me five times,
Right.
529
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,932
so again, it's on--
on you. So, shame on you.
Guilty as charged.
530
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,767
What the fuck?!
531
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,769
Get off me! Mike!
Mike, what's happening?
What? Get off me!
532
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,853
I can't see anything!
533
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,438
Phil!
The demons are back!
534
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,607
Let me go!
(screams)
535
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,862
Mike:
Phil! Phil! Phil!
536
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,656
Phil, wake up, dude.
Dude, wake up.
537
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,324
Hm? Mommy?
538
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,701
(groans)
Okay.
539
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,244
(groans)
540
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:28,454
What the--
Wait, where are we?
541
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,622
I don't know, dude,
542
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,290
but this is not good.
543
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,334
Various animals:
Hey, come on! Let us out!
544
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,669
Where are we?
545
00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:35,837
Let us out of here!
546
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,046
Hey, let us out!
Mommy?
547
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,214
Let us out!
Hey, let us out!
548
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,716
We're gonna die in here!
549
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:40,800
I don't like this.
550
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,343
(overlapping animal noises)
551
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:53,604
♪ ♪
552
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,523
(vocalizing)
553
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:05,700
♪ Thank you, friends ♪
554
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:09,203
♪ Wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you ♪
555
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:14,375
♪ I'm so grateful ♪
556
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,754
♪ For all the things
you helped me do ♪
557
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:23,259
♪ All the ladies
and gentlemen ♪
558
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:27,597
♪ Who made this
all so probable ♪
559
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:34,061
♪ Thank you, friends ♪
560
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:37,648
♪ I rejoice to the skies ♪
561
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:42,779
♪ Dear ones like you
do the best I do ♪
562
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:46,741
♪ As far as can see my eyes ♪
563
00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:51,162
♪ All the ladies
and gentlemen ♪
564
00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:55,416
♪ Who made this
all so probable ♪
37677
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