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1
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,940
♪ ♪
2
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,612
(grunting)
3
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,577
(grunting)
4
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,123
(splash)
(gasps)
5
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,548
(sighs)
6
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,843
(belt rattles)
(grunts)
7
00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,351
Okay, this is, uh...
8
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,311
It's a big step.
9
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,188
This is a... Oh, no.
Optical illusion.
10
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,189
That was a regular step.
11
00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:04,356
(bell rings)
But here we go.
12
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,816
Phil, Phil, Phil.
13
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,610
What you do to a hole.
14
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:08,861
(groans)
15
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,030
Da... Dad?
16
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,198
Philly boy!
17
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,741
It's your pop, Larry!
18
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,950
Long time, no see!
19
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,494
Hey, can I use your bathroom?
20
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:18,162
(groans)
21
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:21,040
(theme music playing)
22
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,755
♪ All of the animals ♪
23
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:30,174
♪ Out of your front door ♪
24
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,634
♪ ♪
25
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Listen, I know
it's a shock to see me,
26
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,847
but what did we used to say
when you were little?
27
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,850
"I wish I never had you
and this was a mistake"?
28
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,144
I can't believe
you remember that.
29
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,271
I know. It's pretty--
God, that brings me back.
30
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,439
What is this?
Can I have this?
31
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,441
Where did you go, Dad?
Oh, I just went over here
32
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,109
because I thought
this was a quarter.
No, no, no.
33
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,444
When I was a kid,
where did you go?
34
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,112
Why did you leave
me and Mom?
35
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,989
(sighs)
You know,
I'm a homing pigeon.
36
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,741
Right?
And that means I just have
37
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,452
a whole ming of things
I wanna do with my life.
38
00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,828
What about a home?
39
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,622
What about making a home?
I don't think
that's what it means.
40
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,166
You know, with, like,
a mom and a little boy?
No. It's not in my nature.
41
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,793
I mean, here's the thing.
When I left you,
42
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,503
when you were
just out of the egg--
43
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,462
I was so young.
44
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,880
I remember looking
at you and thinking,
45
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,882
"God, look at the wonder
in his eyes!"
46
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,676
I know, and I still have it.
Check it out.
You know?
47
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:16,345
He wants to see the world!
Yeah!
48
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,807
And I gotta tell ya,
it was contagious.
49
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,392
You know, like,
I wanna see the world.
50
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,771
Ah. It's so crazy 'cause this
is just hurting me more.
51
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,273
I mean, I'm sure it hurts
to get it in,
52
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:28,691
but it feels so good
to get it out.
53
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,901
What is that other thing
that hurts going in
54
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,361
but feels good going out?
55
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,196
I'm not sure.
A light bulb.
56
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,198
Where do you put
your light bulbs?
57
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,533
Well, you're a young man.
58
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:41,161
You have yet to discover
the wonders of your cloaca.
59
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,664
But I'm not here
to teach you about sex.
60
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,707
You got a girlfriend or...
61
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,417
Not right now actually.
I was actually married
62
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,294
to a guy for a bit
and then we--
That's great. Listen.
63
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,797
I've got a business
opportunity that I think
64
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,340
in many ways
you'd be perfect for.
65
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,926
I always say I'm perfect
for business opportunities
66
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,469
and nobody believes me.
Fantastic!
67
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,430
How much money do you have?
Uh...
68
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,852
Mike:
Okay, look at that Jacob, huh?
69
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,395
He's growing up
before our little eyes.
I know.
70
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,480
Oh, honey, you're so big now.
Oh, my God, you're so big.
71
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,608
You know what?
Your handkerchief
just needs a little--
72
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,943
(groans)
I look like a dork
in this outfit.
73
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,404
Well, the good news is
only four more badges
74
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,156
and you, my friend,
are a Scout leader.
75
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,658
I don't even know if I want
to be a Scout leader, Dad.
76
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,784
Hey!
Why not?
77
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,329
The only reason I joined
is 'cause everyone said
78
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:24,538
you got to play
with a knife.
79
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,540
You don't need a pocketknife
when you've got
80
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,000
"The Seagull Scout
Knot Manual."
81
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,543
You don't need
to cut anything.
82
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,753
You just untie.
83
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,172
(groans)
I am gonna side
with Jacob on this.
84
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,132
Everybody else
in his troop has a knife.
85
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,884
He needs a knife.
I-- Uh-- No.
86
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,843
Give me the knife.
87
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,178
I'm holding--
I'm holding firm on this.
88
00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:40,971
Honey, when I was
in the Shegulls,
89
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,724
I was the highest ranked
knife master in my--
90
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,933
Okay. (laughs)
I'm sorry.
91
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,810
Meghan, I'm gonna
stop you right there, okay?
92
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,978
This is not the Shegulls.
93
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,314
Let's leave this one
to the Seagulls.
94
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:51,440
Hey, Jacob, did you hear that?
95
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,858
Can I get my laptop
out of the cabinet?
96
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,360
Sit down.
(door opens)
97
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,654
We're beatin' this guy.
He owed me money.
Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.
98
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,365
And it turns out
it's his mother we're beating.
99
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,033
Uh...
That's-- Mike, hey, buddy!
How's it going?
100
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,493
Hi!
You remember my dad, right?
101
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:03,702
Uh, hey, Mr. Matarese.
102
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,828
How's it going?
Wait a minute.
103
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,039
This is not the butter boy.
Okay. Um...
104
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,540
This is the little fatty.
The one and only!
105
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,875
What? No! This is hilar--
106
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,753
When he and Phil were squabs,
he'd come over to our house.
107
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,755
He'd eat butter as a snack!
Yeah!
108
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,923
And you'd always wear
109
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,092
those dorky little
Seagull Scout neckerchiefs.
110
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So dumb looking!
111
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,302
He actually made the news.
112
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,346
He was the youngest bird
ever to have a heart attack
113
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,098
and we used to call
him Butter Fat.
114
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,057
Little fat fuck.
115
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,141
We used to call him
Butter Fuck.
116
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,434
You were a fat fuck?
117
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,811
I mean, it was hilarious.
Yeah.
118
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:31,188
If it wasn't so hilarious,
it would have been tragic.
119
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,023
Honey, why did you
never tell me this?
120
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,776
Well, uh, I don't think
it pertains to who I am or--
121
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,403
Okay, why are you both
in my house?
122
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:40,406
Oh. Dad and I are
actually going in 50/50
123
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,533
on a cool little
business opportunity.
124
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,576
It's not 50/50, but we're
trying something out.
125
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,787
It's an opportunity.
You know, it's like
a business thing.
126
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,288
We're still sort of
work-shopping titles.
127
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,708
I was thinking maybe,
like, Father and Son Co.
128
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:51,709
or Daddy and Boy Inc.
129
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,044
Maybe, like,
Papa and Baby LLC?
130
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,422
Feel like I've heard it.
How about Larry...
131
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,506
Well, why overthink it?
132
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,508
I mean, why don't we...
Larry and Phil?
133
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,759
LarriCo.
134
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,802
LarriCo.
135
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,179
LarriCo and Son...
136
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,014
Days we're closed.
137
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,683
Ouch.
What do you think of that?
138
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:08,934
I thought it was
going somewhere else,
139
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,561
but that's fine.
Well, that way
we have the day.
140
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,229
No.
Well, you go in on Sunday.
141
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,439
I'm not going in.
142
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,607
Fuck it. I'm not gonna
kill myself for this thing.
143
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,901
That's all we do at LarriCo.
That's not why I started it.
144
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,154
Anyway, Mike, why we're here
is we need a briefcase
145
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,697
'cause I'm gonna empty out
my bank account
146
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:24,366
and I need somewhere
to put all the money
when we start the business.
147
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,285
Phil, can I see you in
the other room for a second?
148
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,745
Sure.
Whatever you want, weirdo.
149
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,204
Hey, Phil?
Yeah?
150
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,582
Ask him about the briefcase.
151
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,125
Okay, where is it?
152
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,169
Jesus, you have so many
pairs of socks.
153
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,211
Phil!
What?
154
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,046
Your dad suddenly appears
out of the blue
155
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,048
and convinces you to hand over
your life savings?
156
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,383
Okay?
157
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,385
Have you forgotten
this asshole abandoned
you and your mom?
158
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,179
Mike, I was
a very needy child.
159
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,890
Water, food, love, attention.
I mean, I get it.
160
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,933
Anyway, he's forgiven me
and I've forgiven him,
161
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,101
and now we're
business partners
162
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,895
and also a dad and a son
who love each other.
163
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,105
Okay, what is
this business anyway?
164
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,149
Well, it's, uh,
pretty complicated,
165
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,692
but try to follow along here.
166
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,235
Check it out.
Okay.
167
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,695
So there's a cage fight
coming up, right?
168
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,947
Where my daddy,
Mr. Matarese to you,
Got it. Yeah.
169
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:07,284
knows for a fact that
this dude is taking a dive.
170
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,369
So, we're gonna bet
on this guy to win.
171
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,621
(squeals)
I'm so excited.
172
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,705
I could just squeal!
173
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,499
It's like the beginning
a Facebook or something.
174
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:15,918
Phil, do you not see that
he's taking advantage of you?
175
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,295
Don't raise your wings
at me, buddy.
176
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,506
You've only been with him
for five minutes, okay?
177
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,674
I've been with him for,
like, 30 minutes.
178
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,177
He's different now
and he loves me,
179
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,887
and I'm sorry
you can't see that
180
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,807
because this house is filled
with hatred and resentment.
181
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,725
Okay.
I'm getting
the fuck outta here.
182
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,976
So let me get
this straight.
183
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,521
That kid came out
of that body?
184
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,731
That just doesn't
add up to me!
You look too good.
185
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,942
Yes. And he can hear you.
186
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,568
Boy, you're lucky kid,
I'll tell ya.
187
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,821
You've been in places
I can only dream.
188
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,948
Oh, you heard
about computer camp?
189
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,241
It was amazing.
190
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,701
I mean,
I feel really fortunate.
Come on, Dad. We're leaving.
191
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,161
Okay. Meghan, sext me.
192
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,246
(door closes)
193
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,540
♪ ♪
194
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,670
(mumbles)
(mumbles)
195
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,088
(honking)
196
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,014
(screams) No! No!
197
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,349
(whimpers)
198
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,392
(gunshot)
199
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:16,770
♪ That's when I reached
for my revolver ♪
200
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,443
♪ That's when it all
gets blown away ♪
201
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:27,614
Come on, Kaitlin.
I'm not talking to you.
202
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,408
Kaitlin--
I'm not talking
to you right now.
203
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,993
Come on.
Don't look at me.
204
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,452
What did I do this time?
205
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,997
I swam away
for two seconds
206
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,666
to get a couple pellets,
and when I came back,
207
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,710
somebody had shit
on my lily pad.
208
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,086
Who do you think that was?
209
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,796
I didn't know
it was your lily pad.
210
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,590
There are two lily pads
in this terrarium.
211
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,216
I thought we shared
them together
212
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,802
No, we--
'cause sometimes I like
to be closer to the wall.
213
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,597
I'm just not interested
in talking about it anymore.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
214
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,931
He's coming, he's coming.
Oh, my God.
215
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,183
Oh, hey, Jeremy!
Hey!
216
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,810
Hey, looking good.
What are you--
217
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,811
Yeah, J-Dog.
218
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,813
What are you up to?
Just swimming around
219
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,231
on your frog legs?
Just doing your laps?
220
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,399
Hey, bye, Jeremy!
221
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,817
(in gruff voice)
Goodbye!
222
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,570
What is that voice
you're using?
What are you talking about?
223
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,447
I didn't even notice
I did anything different.
224
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,823
You just went, "Goodbye."
225
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,074
That's a terrible voice.
226
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,577
It sounded like it came
from deep inside your vagina.
227
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:16,204
Nobody wants that.
I mean, I already have
a low and beautiful...
228
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,539
I understand that.
song-a-ress.
229
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,041
Just maybe next time
he swims by
Tenor.
230
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,501
we could act more like
a female kind of energy?
231
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,086
Well, now you're putting
me in my head. Like--
232
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,421
I don't mean to put
you in your head.
233
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,423
I'm just saying,
we haven't gotten a response
from him yet
234
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,717
and I think we need
to mix it up and so maybe--
Shh! Shut up!
235
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,969
Be a woman. Be a woman.
Okay, okay.
236
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,554
Hey, Jeremy!
(high-pitched)
Hey, Jeremy!
237
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,181
(giggles)
What is that?
238
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,099
What is what?
Why are you acting
like a Chinese person?
239
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,434
I like-a the way you swim.
That is not--
240
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,228
Oh, my God.
That is so offensive.
I just said,
241
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,022
"I like the way you swim."
Don't do that.
242
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,607
You said, "I like-a the way
you swim."
243
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:46,360
That is not right.
No. I would never say that
in a thousand years.
244
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,320
That's exactly what you said
and look, he's swimming away.
245
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,614
Bye, Jeremy! Bye, Jeremy!
Well, that's
what he always does.
246
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,240
Ugh! You drive me crazy!
247
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,743
I just can't do
this anymore, okay?
What?
248
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:58,121
I just can't live with you
in this small tank anymore!
Take it back.
249
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,082
No. You know what?
You go over to your side
250
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,291
and I'll go over to mine,
251
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,793
and we'll just
live separate lives.
252
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,171
Separate turtles living
separate lives on separate
lily pads, okay?
253
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,340
Wait-- What--
what's happening?
What is that?
254
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,300
Oh, my God!
I'm being lifted!
W-- w-- where are you going?
255
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,011
My time has come!
My time has come!
Ashley! Oh, my God! Ashley!
256
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,596
It was me who sat
on your lily pad.
257
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,307
I ate your crickets
and I just want to apologize.
It's okay. You--
258
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,184
You can sit
on my lily pad any day.
I'm sorry we ever
259
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,644
let Jeremy come between us.
260
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,604
I miss you, Ashley!
I love you so much!
261
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,022
Ashley, I love you so much!
262
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,191
(sobs)
263
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,902
(gasps)
264
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,862
Oh! Whoa!
265
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,156
Oh. My. God!
Wait. Shut up!
266
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,658
No! Shut your face!
Shut up!
267
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,576
Get over here!
Let me hug that shell!
Ah!
268
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,120
Oh, my God!
How are you?
269
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,705
So far, so good.
270
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,331
Oh, my God.
I'm so excited!
271
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,041
I know!
We're living together!
272
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,751
We're living together!
(gasps)
273
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,545
Oh, but I'm gonna miss Jeremy.
274
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,504
Aw, yeah.
275
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,547
But you know what?
276
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,298
I always got kind of
a gay vibe from him.
277
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,844
Yeah, me too.
When we slept together,
he was not into it.
278
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,137
What?!
279
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,179
Yeah. I thought you knew that.
280
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,973
You had sex with the frog
of my dreams?
281
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,599
Why did you think
I acted so weird,
282
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,893
did all those weird voices
when he came around?
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
283
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,021
I didn't know how to act
after a while.
I can't believe this.
284
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,105
So where did
you fuck him? Huh?
285
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,440
On your lily pad.
(gasps)
286
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,025
You bitch!
287
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,526
(screams)
288
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,653
♪ ♪
289
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,784
Good, good,
good, good.
290
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,119
Get as much money
as you can.
291
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,787
Just pack that thing full.
Okay, so Dad, um,
292
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,915
we're positive
I needed to empty
my whole bank account?
293
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,417
Because I was kind of
saving up for school
294
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,294
and I also need to get
a tattoo removed.
295
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,129
Kind of a regret--
Philly. Baby. Come on.
296
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,213
What did I tell ya?
I'm the brains.
297
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,256
No, you're right.
I'm sorry.
298
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,424
I shouldn't have doubted you.
299
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,509
Okay, let's go in.
Actually, I'm gonna stay here
300
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,762
and you're gonna go
'cause, uh...
301
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,680
well, you're the face
of the operation.
302
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,682
Right.
And why are you the face
of the operation?
303
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,810
'Cause I'm a cutie.
'Cause you're
a cutie patootie!
304
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,313
It feels so good
every time you say that.
305
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,856
You know what?
I'm actually thinking now,
306
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,525
we probably
shouldn't even refer to it
as a LarriCo operation.
307
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,569
Right.
Or better yet,
don't even mention me.
308
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,863
Actually, definitely
don't mention me.
Got it.
309
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,698
You're some random guy
310
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,991
who would like to place a bet
311
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,785
on Hugo Ramirez to win.
312
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:00,869
You got that?
313
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,204
Ramirez to win.
Uh-huh.
314
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,789
So let me hear you say it.
S...
315
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,040
Well, you're making
an 'S' sound,
I wasn't--
316
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,249
which is throwing me.
Uh...
317
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,085
Go in there.
Tell 'em you want
Ramirez to win.
318
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,169
Okay. Just real quick,
319
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,879
I wanted to tell you
I love you.
Shh!
320
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,839
I thought I saw a rainbow.
Sorry. Okay, go in!
321
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,049
Okay. Sorry!
322
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,258
(groans)
Dad...
323
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,177
these are all
freakin' impossible.
324
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,220
Just let me go
on the computer.
325
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,429
I'll whip up some badges
326
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,264
that look even better
than the real ones.
No. No.
327
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,933
Okay, Jacob, being
a Seagull Scout
328
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,935
is about solving problems
on your own.
329
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,895
Okay? You need to learn
how to fend for yourself.
330
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,522
Especially out here
in the wilderness.
331
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:29,940
(cars honking)
332
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,483
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
333
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,236
You're not gonna let me
get out of this, are you?
334
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:35,654
Mm, not a chance.
335
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,365
Here we go!
336
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,075
♪ Julio, Julio, Julio ♪
337
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,910
(grunts)
338
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,994
Fuck.
Hey.
339
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,038
How do you even do this?
Come on. Help me, Jacob.
340
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,123
Goddamn it!
341
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,082
Dad!
Sorry.
342
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,543
-(buzzer)
-♪ Gimme a whistle ♪
343
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,211
Okay. Paddle.
344
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,170
Paddle, Jacob.
345
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,672
Jacob, starboard side!
346
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,049
Muscle on the starboard side!
Muscle on the starboard side!
(wails)
347
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,175
(screams)
Jacob: Oh, my God!
348
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,718
Help me, God!
349
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,555
-(buzzer)
-♪ Scat, scat
Ski-da-bop-a-doo ♪
350
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,473
There you go, buddy.
351
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,725
Look, Dad!
I'm doing it!
(chuckles)
352
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,561
Whoa. Whoa.
You sure are, huh?
Look at you. Look at you.
353
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,021
Whoa. Oh, fuck!
Jacob? Jacob, come back!
No! No!
354
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,690
-(buzzer)
-♪ Julio ♪
355
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,530
Okay, Phil.
You got this.
356
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,656
Don't worry.
It's fine.
357
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,740
Who's your pick kid?
(yelps)
358
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,200
Sorry. That was weird.
359
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,952
Hello, sir.
Hello.
360
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,579
My name is Phil.
361
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:26,705
Wanna place your bet?
362
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:27,747
Yeah. Sure. Okay.
363
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,167
So... Oh, shit.
364
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:36,923
Uh... uh... uh...
365
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,467
um...
366
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,428
Okay. Ramirez to win.
367
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,138
All right, one wager
for Ramirez.
368
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,639
No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
369
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:45,974
What?
Stupid me.
370
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,309
Can I--
I want to put it on McKinley.
371
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,644
100% on McKinley.
Wake up, Phil.
372
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,980
Want it on McKinley
or on Ramirez?
373
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,524
McKinley. 'Cause I like
the way that boy looks.
374
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,817
How much you want to bet here?
375
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:58,612
I want to bet all of this.
376
00:12:58,612 --> 00:12:59,946
Oh, whoa. Wait a minute.
377
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,364
You look familiar.
378
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,950
What do you mean?
(laughs) Handsome?
379
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,828
Sorry. Go ahead.
Yeah, I know someone who has
a beak just like that.
380
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:07,746
Like this beak?
381
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,539
Are you related
to Shady Larry?
382
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,790
Shady Larry?
383
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,086
Shady Larry is my dad.
384
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,880
He's outside right now, dude!
385
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,340
Hell nah. He's outside?
386
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,592
My dad, Shady Larry Matarese,
is outside right now.
387
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,344
Oy, Bubbles,
he's a la puerta.
This is--
388
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,054
Shady Larry te fuera.
Can I just say something?
389
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,347
I'm having fun.
(gun cocks)
390
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,099
(door clanks shut)
391
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,643
It's unbelievable.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
392
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,686
That's the one thing I said.
I said, "Don't say my name."
393
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,104
I'm sorry, okay?
394
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,232
I didn't anticipate this
happening either, Dad.
395
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,316
Then you bet on McKinley!
396
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,567
I got confused.
397
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,527
I saw the poster,
they had both
their names on it.
398
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,405
McKinley's a handsome hunk,
and what I supposed to do?
Julio: Enough.
399
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,991
I'm sorry you got dragged
into this, kid, but this thing
400
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,785
with me and Shady Larry
goes way back.
401
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:49,663
Look, he's young.
He's never left the home.
402
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:50,664
I've never--
I've seen the world.
403
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,082
Uh-huh.
You know, kill him.
404
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,334
No? What are you
talking about, Dad?
Let me go. I've got history.
405
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,169
He doesn't know
what he's missing.
That is insane logic!
406
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,671
Don't worry. It's--
407
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,048
I'm trying to outwit him.
You've weaseled too much
money out of me
408
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,591
and this shit ends tonight.
409
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,260
Now, I'm so sorry,
but I'm gonna line you up
410
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,761
together so I can
shoot you both
411
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,929
in the heart
with one bullet.
412
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,306
Aw, fuck it.
413
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,432
I'm sorry, kid.
414
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:10,767
I didn't mean to drag
you into this.
415
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,102
I've been a horrible father.
416
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,272
You're--
All I've ever wanted
to do was love you and...
417
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,274
I just...
I feel like I've blown it.
418
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,150
I feel like I've ruined
everything for both of us.
419
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,070
That's the most
beautiful thing--
Shut up. He's buying it.
420
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,863
(bell dings)
All right, all right.
421
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,157
I gotta watch the fight,
but once that's done,
422
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:29,327
I'll be back to finish this
once and for all.
423
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,290
Okay.
What are you doing?
424
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,791
Just getting--
Just hold on a second.
425
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:35,959
Wait a minute.
Is that a phone?
426
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,210
Quiet. Be quiet. Here.
427
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,628
You got unlimited data
on that?
428
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,298
Yeah. Why?
I got some friends overseas
I need to call.
429
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,466
Okay.
430
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386
Hold that so,
and if we just turn it--
431
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,429
Fuck!
Daddy!
432
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,596
God-- I'm sorry.
433
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,015
Sorry, Jacob.
434
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,851
Can we just go home?
This is the worst thing
I've ever done.
435
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:55,228
Let's focus on the good, okay?
436
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,230
Being out here--
(phone rings)
437
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,107
Phil.
Mike, hey, buddy.
How's it going?
438
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,692
Uh, it's Phil.
Uh-huh.
439
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,986
Um, remember about
the little business plan
I told you about earlier?
440
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,195
Uh-huh.
Things ended up going south.
441
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,572
I blew it.
I'm a big, dumb idiot,
442
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,325
and me and my dad are now
tied up in a torture room
443
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,161
by this mean bookie, Julio,
and he's gonna, mm,
444
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,829
basically kill both of us.
445
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,749
So, I need you to come get me
out of here, dude. Please.
Ugh, God.
446
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:16,791
See? I told you.
447
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,835
Your dad is nothing
but a two-bit crook.
448
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:19,919
Wait.
449
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,589
You said your hands are tied
behind your back?
450
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,757
Yes. Why?
451
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,092
With rope?
452
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,595
Yes, pervert,
but that's not really
the issue at hand, Mike.
453
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,096
I'm stuck here
and I'm gonna die.
454
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,222
On our way.
455
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:34,642
Jacob, we're gonna get you
that fucking badge.
456
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,895
(spy music playing)
457
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,855
Okay. Be very careful, okay?
458
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,648
Follow me.
Where are we going?
459
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,941
Oh, look at that.
460
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,443
Whoa.
461
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,279
Those are what's known as
the figure eight double knot.
462
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,364
That's easy peasy.
463
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,282
If we can get in there,
we can get them both out
464
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,493
in, like, minutes,
I'm telling you.
Let's do it.
465
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,620
Huh, your dad's
pretty cool now, huh?
466
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,205
Yeah, he kinda is.
Yeah.
467
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,414
What the fuck?
(both yelp)
468
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,708
Hi...
469
00:15:58,708 --> 00:15:59,793
(grunts)
470
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:02,837
You know when
you have something
471
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,839
that's, like, caught
in your throat?
472
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,383
It's, like, stuck
at the bottom
473
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,385
and you can't really get it--
All: Shut up.
474
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,803
Fuck you, Jacob.
475
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:10,887
Suck my dumb.
476
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,138
You suck my dumb, Jacob.
477
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,807
You don't even know
what that means.
478
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:14,849
I made it up.
479
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,643
Dad, what's
"suck my dumb" mean?
480
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,728
Everybody just shut up.
And I agree.
481
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:19,854
Fuck you, Jacob.
482
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,022
♪ ♪
483
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,068
(siren wailing)
484
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:32,700
♪ I miss the feeling
of the landslide ♪
485
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:40,959
♪ Shaking the dust
off of my skin ♪
486
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,502
(phone rings)
Hm?
487
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:47,757
♪ What chokes the breath
that makes my heart sigh ♪
488
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:54,472
♪ And now I feel
at home again ♪
(grunts)
489
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,938
(laughter)
490
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,274
(speaking gibberish)
491
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,942
I don't know French.
I made that all up.
492
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152
(laughs)
I don't know!
493
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,279
Oh, God. I'm gonna say it.
You look so good.
494
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,947
(giggles)
Antonio, stop.
495
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,491
I'm gonna take you
home tonight. (chuckles)
496
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,076
I just have to tell
you something.
497
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,078
I'm gonna tell
you something first.
Okay, you go first.
498
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:20,081
I need it. I want it.
Ya got to give me right now.
(laughs)
499
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,458
Now you go. Go.
Okay.
500
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:24,252
(laughs)
Um, I'm a registered
sex offender.
501
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,380
And I'm a registered
I'm gonna have sex with you.
502
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,882
(giggles)
(chuckles)
503
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,509
So you're okay with that?
I'm sorry? That's real?
504
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,845
Mm-hmm.
Nah, um, what does it mean?
505
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,472
Well, back when
I was teaching,
506
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:36,681
I slept with one
of my students.
507
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,016
Oh.
Big misconception.
508
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:40,226
I thought he was 18,
but it turns out
509
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,561
he was only--
17?
510
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,687
15.
Wow.
511
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,522
So, can you just
acknowledge that
512
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,733
I relayed you
this information?
Um...
513
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,861
A verbal "yes"
or written consent
is necessary.
514
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,070
What is it--
What is it for?
515
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,280
My lawyer gets it
516
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,324
and then I have to go
door to door and...
517
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,034
and show everyone
in the community
518
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,244
that I'm dating an adult
who's okay with it.
519
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,329
(laughs)
Uh...
520
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,872
Well, it's just
one time, right?
521
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:03,500
We all make mistakes.
I'm gonna say yes right now.
522
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,169
Yeah!
Yes, as in pass me
that letter.
523
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,921
Okay, here you go.
Thank you.
524
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,465
Actually, it wasn't
just one time.
525
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:12,509
I'm gonna pass
that letter right back.
I can't sign it.
526
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,385
Mama made it
all the way through
527
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,179
the New York City
public school system
528
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,806
faster than a fart
in a fan factory.
529
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:19,849
(giggles)
Ew.
530
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,684
Listen, I must admit
531
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:25,188
your boyish charm is really
doing a number on me.
532
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,732
Nope. I'm a grown-ass man,
so we don't have to--
Do you need me
533
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,442
to cut up for food, sweetie?
534
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,819
Sir, can we get the check
if you don't mind?
We don't need the check.
535
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,738
We're having a great time.
We're gonna need the check.
536
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,948
I'm sorry,
I'm really not interested.
537
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,616
It's making
me feel weird, okay?
538
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,826
So I gotta head out.
Listen, listen, listen,
listen, listen, listen.
539
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,036
What do you have
to offer me?
540
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,120
Candy.
541
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,413
You're an insane person!
542
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,207
No! Get away,
get away, get away!
543
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,125
Get away!
(clattering)
544
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,168
Oh, my God!
545
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,962
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
She is a child molester.
546
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:49,963
I like children.
547
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,506
Get away, get away,
get away. Stop it!
548
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:52,966
♪ ♪
549
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:03,851
So you brought your son to
a dangerous hostage situation
550
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,813
in the hopes of teaching him
how to untie a knot?
551
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,690
Look, I was just trying
to show my son
552
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,484
real-life applications
of Seagull Scouting
in the world.
553
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,612
Oh, snap! That is
a Seagull Scout uniform!
554
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:15,822
I was a Seagull Scout.
555
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,282
You were a Seagull Scout?
556
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,283
I sure was.
557
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,867
That's so cool.
558
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,204
I never thought somebody cool
and tough could have been
a Seagull Scout.
559
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,455
I was pretty--
That's right.
560
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,541
We don't all start
like dipshits.
Well...
561
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,918
But I had to give it up
and turn to a life of crime
562
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,378
after my dad skipped town.
563
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,297
My dad skipped
town too, Julio.
564
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,049
I never had a chance to go
to Seagull Scouts with my son.
565
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,010
You know, little guy,
I know you probably think
566
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,220
this is corny now,
but you're lucky to have
567
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,638
a dad that cares
enough about you
568
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,848
to show you the ropes.
569
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,141
Shady Larry?
Yes, sir?
570
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,560
You could learn a thing or two
about fatherhood from Mike.
571
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,478
He's got a big heart.
Thank you, Julio.
572
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,731
All that butter intake,
I mean, of course.
I mean, okay, well--
573
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,441
Julio, you remember
Butter Boy?
From the news?
574
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,775
Yeah, I don't think
he'd remember probably.
575
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,110
Oh, whoa! Yeah!
576
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,779
You're Butter Boy?
He's Butter Boy all grown up
in the flesh.
577
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,072
Wow! You were fat!
Yeah, no.
578
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,699
Okay, enough
of the Butter Boy stuff.
579
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,908
You know what?
580
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,243
I'mma let you guys go.
581
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,620
Oh, good.
Oh, yeah.
582
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,455
Thanks, Julio.
583
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,040
Just do me a favor
584
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,793
and remember that family
is the most important...
585
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:11,961
There's always a catch.
586
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,047
...and love is the key to--
587
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,590
(all scream)
588
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,175
Fuck!
589
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,343
Mommy!
Hi, honey.
590
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,136
What? Meghan!
Mike, I told you,
591
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,429
you need a knife.
592
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,764
Julio's dead.
593
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:25,183
Great, now we'll never know
what love is the key to.
594
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,517
How did you even find us?
595
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,936
It's Shegull Scouting 101,
Mike.
596
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,271
Help me, Jacob.
597
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,272
Goddamn it!
598
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:32,440
Dad.
Sorry.
599
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,816
(both screaming)
600
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,526
Help me, God! Help me...
601
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,779
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
602
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:38,905
Oh, fuck!
603
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,532
Wow, Mom.
604
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,575
That was so cool.
605
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,285
What can I say?
Your mom's a badass.
606
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,454
It makes me wanna be
a Shegull Scout.
607
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:47,872
Really?
Yeah.
608
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,917
My son,
a... a Shegull Scout.
609
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:51,834
Oh, Mike?
610
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,670
There is no age cutoff
for Shegulls.
611
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,712
You feel like joining?
612
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,506
If there's an extra spot,
I'll take it.
613
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:57,840
(all laugh)
614
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,092
Mike:
Sign me up!
615
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,347
City's so beautiful at night.
It is.
616
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,557
It really is.
617
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,768
So, I guess
you'll be going then?
Yep.
618
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,605
Well, it was fun
while it lasted.
619
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,357
You know what's funny?
620
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,609
I actually feel bad
for the guy.
621
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,945
He's got no friends,
no family,
622
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,113
and he's always on the run.
623
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,572
I mean, that's no life
to live.
624
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:24,617
I just hope he knows
that he's got a son
625
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,035
who will always love him
626
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,788
and a bond that'll
make us forever connected:
627
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,165
a father and his only son.
628
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,543
Mike:
Hell yeah, man.
629
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,002
♪ ♪
630
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:39,507
(knocking)
631
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:41,926
D-- Dad?
632
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,595
Billy boy! My only son!
633
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,055
It's your pop, Larry!
634
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,598
Long time, no see.
635
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,975
Hey, can I use your bathroom?
636
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,937
♪ Chill light on my sight
as my ego becomes ♪
637
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,356
♪ A funky child
with some words on my tongue ♪
638
00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:58,067
♪ Be like intake of breath
and my mouth gets loose ♪
639
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,737
♪ While I scatter my spit
I dream of juice ♪
640
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:03,781
♪ Have you ever made out
in dark hallways? ♪
641
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:06,576
♪ Displayed a kiss
that made your day or say? ♪
642
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:09,495
♪ Played a track
from your record collection? ♪
643
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,956
♪ It's your mix,
congratulations ♪
644
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:14,542
♪ We've changed a lot
and then some-some ♪
645
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,211
♪ You know that we have
always been down-down ♪
646
00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:19,797
♪ And if I ever
didn't thank you-you ♪
647
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:22,383
♪ Then just let me do it now ♪
648
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:25,428
♪ Keep my feet on the ground ♪
649
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,598
♪ Keep my head in the clouds ♪
650
00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:30,933
♪ Electrified by the sound ♪
651
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:33,352
♪ Comes from the down ♪
652
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,397
♪ And we've changed a lot
and then some-some ♪
653
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,192
♪ You know that we have
always been down-down ♪
654
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,861
♪ And if I ever
didn't thank you-you ♪
655
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:44,322
♪ Then just let me do it now ♪
48456
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