Original subtitles

Previously on 90210...

This is my sister. This is Jen.

Do you really want to live together?

Absolutely. For real. Where do you want to live?

I can't go to prom. I can't deal with West Beverly kids yet.

I'm pregnant, and it's your baby.

Are you trying to ruin my life, Ade?

You are a volcano.

This whole good girl routine-- it's just a mask.

And when you finally can't take it anymore, and you explode,

it's gonna be fantastic.

I would enjoy having dinner with you.

How about tomorrow night? Why the hell not?

I don't want to be some booty call. I'm not the type

of girl you run into at a Chinese restaurant

and take into a bathroom.

Would you like to go to the prom with me?

Really? Really.

We got the house. Now the bank is saying

that it might take up to a week to sort out.

I so don't want you to have to pay with your money.

But I don't mind.

You're so sweet.

(rock music playing)

I thought the prom was fun,

but this after-prom party's even better!

(music stops)

HARRY: This year, after-prom parties will lead

to very serious consequences.

All joking aside,

I have a real message here for the sophomore class.

As you know, parties after this year's junior prom led

to one student being arrested for a DUI,

several others being treated for alcohol poisoning.

Which is why the school board, in conjunction

with the Beverly Hills Police Department,

has come up with a new policy on after-prom parties.

If you are caught at an after-prom party

where alcohol is being served, you will be suspended.

(people groaning)

HARRY: If you're suspended,

you will have to go to summer school.

So, you're saying that one party can ruin my whole summer?

Yes, it can, so think about the consequences.

Attend the school-sanctioned post-prom party only.

Be smart and safe on prom night.

Okay.

Okay, what were you thinking?

Oh, my dad begged me, guilted me,

and then promised to buy me whatever prom dress I wanted.

Well, I certainly hope you're getting Chanel.

Seriously. Not that I have a prom date yet.

Hey, Annie.

(laughs)

Hey.

So, how do you know the dorkasaurus?

Charlie Pinkwater? Mm-hmm.

Oh, he is very big in the world of stage crew.

Mmm. Tasty. Mm-hmm.

Hey, uh, maybe Charlie Pinkwater could take you to the prom.

Shut up. No way!

Oh, right. He probably saw the video.

Ugh. Am I ever gonna live it down?

Of course you will, honey.

I mean, Mariah Carey got over Glitter, right?

Not helping.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What is this?

It's a California Horn Shark.

See the spots?

The, uh, large pectoral fins?

Why didn't you take the test?

Well, it only counts for 20% of your grade.

I have an 85 average.

So, even with a zero, I'll still have a 68,

which means I'll pass.

I don't get you, Liam.

I mean, what are you trying to prove?

You're clearly a smart kid, you got a lot of potential.

Why are you throwing it away?

You know, it's too bad I'm not from the inner city.

Then you could inspire me to win the Academic Decathlon

with your tough but earnest

coaching and wise platitudes about life.

(gasps) They could even make a major motion picture out of it.

You can go.

O, Captain! My Captain!

Very nice.

What's up, man? Hey.

Mr. Matthews, you wanted to see me?

Yeah. I have great news.

Can you follow me to the living room, please?

The couch goes in here.

Facing the fireplace or facing the windows?

The window. Fireplace.

The window.

You want to always prioritize the view.

You have much to learn, Grasshopper.

I mean, I still can't believe

you wanted to buy a white leather couch.

(laughs) God, you are so L.A.

Hey, can I ask your advice? Yeah.

No white leather pants, either.

Okay, so I'm sort of, whatever, seeing this guy Liam.

He likes me. I'm not sure if he knows he likes me,

but I know he likes me.

He just has a really, really bad case of relationship phobia.

But I want him to go to the prom with me.

Ah. Well, if you want to get a man to do what you want,

you pull a Lysistrata.

What's that, like an inner thigh muscle?

(laughs) The play?

By Aristophanes?

Where women withhold sex to get what they want.

What if what they want is sex?

(laughs) Oh.

You have a lot to learn, Grasshopper.

Oh, don't touch that!

Uh, don't touch that.

Okay, so, do you want to be good cop this time or bad cop?

I was the bad cop with David Harris last week.

That was your bad cop?

I thought you were being the good cop.

What? No. That was the bad cop with a heart of gold.

Oh, is that what that was? (knocking at door)

Okay, I am gonna be bad cop.

Yes. Yes.

Wow. Both of you.

I had no idea I could expect a threesome.

Sit down, Liam.

(sighs)

Is this about Matthews?

Because I'm telling you,

that man does not appreciate art.

I will cut to the chase.

Your father called us yesterday.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I haven't talked to him in... ten years.

What'd he say?

Where's he been?

Oh.

Were you referring to my stepdad?

Right. Your stepfather.

He's concerned about you, Liam.

(scoffs)

He thinks that you are detached, antisocial.

Not committed to this school.

"Committed" being the operative word.

This isn't a joke, Liam.

He requested your records.

He's looking at military schools.

God, you don't want to go to a military school.

You know what? Maybe he does.

I have brochures.

No, Kel, he doesn't need those.

Look, there's not much time

left before the end of the year, hmm?

You make a little effort,

study hard for your finals, bring up your grades...

Oh. Here we go.

Show willingness to get involved

with the community here at West Beverly.

How? Join the pep squad?

Student Council? The Wildcat Crooners?

Frankly, any of those things could help at this point.

He just needs to see that you're making an effort.

Plenty of options.

So, how tan do you want to go?

I'm not sure.

I've never done this before.

My friends just said

everybody goes tanning before prom.

Oh, it's for prom?

Why didn't you just say so?

All right, we'll go with Weekend in Barbados.

As long as it's not too dark.

I don't want to look silly or anything.

Oh, you won't look silly.

You'll look awesome.

Oh, God, I love proms.

Are you psyched?

Yeah. I'm just not the most experienced prom-goer.

Turn around, bum to me.

Well, you came to the right person.

All right, here's what you need to do.

You need to get your hair blown out, your eyebrows done.

You have to get acrylic nails.

Nails? Really?

Well, yeah. You don't want to stand out, do you?

No. Definitely not.

Okay, good.

Now, let's see.

The day of...

This is very important.

Shave everywhere.

Okay.

(phone ringing)

Oh.

Hello?

What's up?

Oh, not much.

Just reading a classic Greek play.

So, listen, do you want to go to the prom with me?

Um...

yeah, sure.

Cool.

So, look, I'll talk to you tomorrow, all right?

Yeah. Sounds good.

(screaming)

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Take your seats.

Seats, everybody!

Put your tucheses in your chairs

if you know what's good for your health.

(Annie sighs)

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

What is that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Just wondering how long it's gonna take

for you to drop the nice girl act.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not an act?

Maybe I'm just a nice person?

Not really.

(scoffs) Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, could you all pick a partner?

(whispers): Oh. You and me?

CHARLIE: Hey, Annie?

Do you have a partner?

Nope.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, the first part of CPR...

Hey, so, I happened to hear through the grapevine

that you might be prom eligible.

What?

All of which is a long introduction

to a-a question I'd like to pose.

(clears throat)

That, uh, question being:

uh, would you possibly want to go

to the sophomore prom, uh, with me?

...which brings us to the ABCs of CPR.

Yes.

Sure, Charlie. I would love to go to prom with you.

I would be thrilled.

(laughs) Thrilled.

IRVING: You're gonna tap for the response, and then...

Uh, hey, come on.

Pretty sharp, huh? No.

Girls-- I'm telling you,

are not into that flashy stuff.

They just want it simple, classy,

like James Bond.

All right, fine.

Would James Bond use a cane?

No! He would not.

No. Hey,

so, uh, I got picked

for the All-American Lacrosse Camp this summer.

Shut up!

That's-- you know what?

I'm so impressed, I-I can't even be jealous.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Cool?

You're set, man.

There's scouts all over that camp.

They see you, you get recruited,

you get a scholarship to any college you want.

Damn, bro, your whole life, it-it just got figured out.

I guess. I mean, I was just

planning on going to Montana this summer.

You know, visit my dad. Take a road trip.

But now it's going to be nothing but wind sprints

and shooting drills for me.

Sounds pretty amazing to me.

SILVER: What sounds amazing?

Hi. Hey.

Mr. Ethan, here, just got tapped

for the All-American Lacrosse Camp.

What?!

That is amazing!

I forget sometimes you're like King Jock.

Yeah. Yeah, me, too.

Uh, anyway, I'm going to head out.

Well, how goes the online tux shopping?

You guys got accessories and whatever picked out?

Oh, well, I'm not going.

But I think we got Dixon all squared away.

What do you mean you're not going?

Uh, I don't have a date.

Well, you should just go with us!

I mean, you don't need a date.

We're all basically going as a group.

DIXON: Yeah. We've got

a pretty sick ride. Come on.

I could really use the moral support.

Please.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Uh, see you guys later.

All right, man. Hey, yo.

I'm, uh, I'm going to get you this top hat, all right?

Uh, no, please do not.

What is this?

He-he asked for it.

He said-- You are not--

You are not going... He said I should go for that T-Pain look.

Uh-uh.

All right, only you.

Only you can pull it off.

DIXON: I-I could pull it off. I think I can.

We are going to Navid's, Dad.

His parents are going to be there. It's not a party.

I am not asking you to be a tattletale.

I am just saying that if there is an illegal non-school

sponsored after-party, I think

that you should tell me about it.

Harry. What?

Come on, sweetheart, this is

a Beverly Hills party we are talking about.

I grew up here.

I went to these parties

and there were drugs,

sex, booze.

What'd I miss? ANNIE: Oh!

You know, just Dad telling an intoxicating story

about his degenerate peers.

And I do mean intoxicating.

Honey, Silver could've stayed for dinner.

Oh, um, no, no.

It's-it's-- I know,

she had a lot of homework and stuff.

Did you find a tux?

Yeah. You know, it's pretty boring, though.

But it's cool.

All I care about is Silver having a good time.

If she has a good time,

and she sees West Bev isn't such a bad place--

I bet she'll come back to school next year!

Yeah, well,

I hope it works out. I just don't

want you to get your hopes up.

(chuckles)

I appreciate it, Mom.

But don't worry about me. I got this.

I got this.

So, Dixon,

where were you saying that after-prom party was again?

(laughing)

(laughing)

Okay, this...

is so... pretty.

Eh, too sweet for me.

I'll try it.

Thanks.

I don't imagine that you have any maternity prom dresses?

Well, of course.

Come here.

You know what you should do? What?

Call Jaws like the last possible moment,

tell him you're sick,

then you can find another date.

He'll never know.

I am not saying that I'm sick.

(sighs)

Becky.

I can't decide.

These all look so good on me.

I'm going to get all of these,

then ask Jen's advice later.

No problem.

Oh, credit card.

Okay, ladies.

What do you think?

(Annie sighs)

It's so pretty.

But not you.

I'm really just going for Dixon.

I don't want to stand out.

(exhaling)

Okay, I'm going to go try on my dress.

Oh, shoes. ANNIE: Oh!

NAOMI: You know what we could do?

Hmm? Run over your legs with my car.

Ugh, enough. Okay?

I'm not exactly crazy about your prom date either, FYI.

(clears throat)

You know what, Annie? You need to get on board.

Liam is clearly over his commitment issues.

Why else would he have invited me to come with him?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm just glad that you're happy.

I am.

Hey, Naomi,

had a bit of a problem.

Your card was declined.

NAOMI: Jen?

Don't track mud on the rugs.

Jen, I need to ask you something.

Oh, wait! First,

let me show you my...

...prom dress!

Your what?

Ryan Matthews asked me to be his date.

I thought I'd go as a lark.

Anyway, how hilarious is it

to wear couture to the sophomore prom?

Yeah, pretty hilarious.

Listen, Jen, my Amex was declined today.

I called our business manager,

she said I reached my limit.

I didn't know the card even had a limit.

Oh, my God, how mortifying.

Um, I didn't know I was paying for everything.

I mean, the-the furniture,

the paintings, the couture.

It all went on my card, didn't it?

I'm sorry.

I don't get it, I-I thought you worked out

the whole wiring money business.

What's going on?

(sighs)

Oh, God. Um...

the truth is I lied to you.

This is so embarrassing.

Um, I'm in a bit of a pinch financially.

I invested in the market at the wrong time.

But it-it'll all turn around, I mean,

the market is looking up.

Yes?

But in the short term...

I'm a bit strapped.

I'm sorry.

I am truly...

truly sorry.

(sighs)

It's okay.

I just--

Why did you lie to me?

I, um...

I'm the big sister.

I wanted to take care of you.

I didn't want you to have to take care of me.

I'm glad to help.

I really am.

But...

if I am paying for everything,

then I get to choose the couch.

We're going with white leather.

Okay. Cool.

White leather it is.

♪ ♪

Guys, one second.

Um... you ready?

I can't.

I'm sorry. I thought I could, but I can't.

Come on, baby.

I know you can do this.

Everyone's going to be staring at me.

(sighs)

Not if you walk by me.

I mean, hello? Eight months pregnant.

Yeah. If things get bad, you could hide behind her stomach.

DIXON: Come on,

baby, I know you can do this.

Okay.

Yes! Okay. Yes!

Yes!

Come on, girl. My lady.

♪ ♪

Come here.

Come on, man.

Can we just go inside?

Oh.

Sure.

ADRIANNA: Whoa!

Do you think that they shot The Poseidon Adventure here?

Look at that jerk.

ADRIANNA: Hey, don't worry about Ty.

All those sleepless nights--

deciding whether or not to raise the baby.

He should know about that.

He should know what it's been like.

And I'm gonna tell him that right now.

Ow! Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. You all right?

Hey, have a seat. Uh...

Whoo! I'm-I'm-- I'm fine.

It's just a false labor pain.

You know, there's a difference

between false labor pains and fake labor pains.

Just ignore Ty.

CHARLIE: That's really unfair.

You should be up there!

Oh, no, no.

Really, that's okay.

No, you should be.

You're one of the five prettiest girls at West Bev.

I guess just because you're new.

DIXON (laughing): Whoa!

I'm nominated for Prom King?

Silver! Hey!

Really glad you could make it.

Me, too.

Thanks.

Hmm... See?

What did I tell you?

Everybody's being nice, huh?

Sure.

I'm sorry, you're right.

Everyone's being nice.

They're treating me like I have a terminal disease,

but they're being nice.

That's not true, come on.

Yeah, whatever, I'm fine.

I can deal with this for one night, right?

♪ ♪

♪ I go ooh ooh ♪

♪ You go aah aah ♪

♪ La la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ La la la, la la la ♪

♪ I wanna wanna wanna ♪

♪ Get get get what I want ♪ ♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Gimme gimme gimme what you got ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't wait wait wait anymore ♪

(chanting): Go Charlie, go Charlie!

♪ ...talk about the consequence ♪

♪ 'Cause right now you're the only thing ♪

♪ That's making any sense to me ♪

Come on. Oh...

Teachers don't dance.

Does this count as dancing?

I think that's okay.

Okay, what if I do this?

Is that okay? Mm-hmm.

And what if we just sway back and forth like this?

Is that okay?

Um...

I, uh, want to introduce you to a friend of mine.

Hey, Kelly.

Jen.

Ms. Taylor.

You two know each other?

Oh, Ms. Taylor was my guidance counselor

back in the good old days.

Call me Kelly, please.

Wow, how about that?

Oh, cool band, huh?

Yeah.

I got like 20 cases of beer

and Topher's brother brought over vodka,

gin, whiskey, bourbon...

Wait, are whiskey and bourbon the same thing?

Anyway, all we have to do

is bring it in from the garage

after my parents leave for Palm Springs.

It's going to be so much fun!

Thank you, Phoebe Abrams.

♪ ♪

(sighing)

This has been fun.

Oh, yeah, totally.

We'll have to go out again sometime,

you know, under less formal circumstances.

Oh, um...

Look, Charlie, I'm not interested.

Romantically.

Then why did you say yes?

Well, you asked.

And you said you'd be thrilled.

Well, I didn't have a date and I knew how much

you wanted to go with me.

So, it was a pity date?

I was just trying to be nice.

Well, you know what would've been nice?

Being honest with me.

I could've asked a girl who actually wanted to go with me.

Who actually was thrilled.

You know what, take your pity and shove it!

♪ The lights are out, and I barely know you ♪

♪ We're going up and the place is slowing down ♪

♪ I knew you'd come around ♪

♪ You captivate me, something about you has got me ♪

Hey. Hey, how are you?

Where's this Liam I've heard so much about?

Oh.

Seems like the life of the party.

Oh, yeah, he's not a prom person.

He's just here for me.

It's sweet, he really likes me.

I'm sure he does.

♪ Just take me on the floor ♪ ♪ Da da da da, da da da da ♪

♪ I can give you more ♪ ♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

(Harry whistles)

Excuse me! Can I borrow this mic for a second?

Thank you. Uh, hey, everybody.

Quick announcement. I just, I want to tell you

that I am really stoked about the after-prom party

at Phoebe Abrams's house tonight, all right?

I will be there with a bunch of my friends

from the Beverly Hills Police Department.

So, anyway,

I'll see you there.

Carry on.

Who the hell told him?

I know who it was.

♪ ♪

♪ The lights are out and I barely know you ♪

Hello, Ms. Taylor.

Kelly. Kelly.

So, how funny that you and I

would end up having the same taste in men?

I'm sorry?

Didn't you and Ryan?

Oh, come on, I was totally picking up vibes.

Um... uh, yes, we dated.

Briefly a while ago.

I thought so.

I'm rarely wrong about vibes.

You know, I think academics are terribly sexy.

And I don't just mean teachers.

When I was at Yale, I briefly dated

someone in the Registrar's office.

You don't say. Mmm.

He was pretty much a bore, actually.

Although I did get to read

my, uh, recommendation letters from high school.

That was sweet.

Most of them were rather glowing.

There was one, though,

that was slightly less than glowing.

I wrote that letter

because it's my job to give the colleges

an honest appraisal of the students.

Uh-huh.

You said that, in your opinion,

I was "a narcissist with no moral compass."

(laughing)

Did you really think

Yale was gonna listen to you?

A guidance counselor?

I had an impeccable transcript.

I was president of the senior class.

I'm a legacy.

I got in early.

You stole Liz Hartigan's term paper.

God, you're still on about that?

You're like Ahab.

Man.

Such a busybody.

Drop the innocent act, okay?

Because I know what kind of person you really are.

Self-centered, devious, willing to do

whatever it takes to get what you want.

Oh, take it easy, okay?

I haven't even slept with him yet.

No, this has nothing to do with Ryan.

It has to do with you stealing

that girl's term paper right out of the teacher's desk,

all so you could beat her out as Valedictorian.

Ugh, I am appalled that you think so little of me.

Simply appalled.

Oh, hey, being that you're a guidance counselor,

maybe you could give me a little guidance about Ryan.

Tell me, Ms. Taylor,

what does he like in bed?

♪ Please don't stop ♪

(drumroll)

Ladies and gentleman,

welcome to the Prommies!

(applause, cheering)

Tonight we have a terrific bunch of nominees.

And I'm sure they would all agree,

it's an honor to be nominated.

But it sucks to lose!

(mild laughter)

So, without further ado,

the Prom King...

is Dixon Wilson!

(applause, cheering)

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Dixon! (whistling)

Whoo!

Thanks.

Wow, um...

Well, this is, uh...

This is pretty cool.

(chuckles) Um, I wanna, I want you guys

to give it up for my fellow nominees,

who are also very, very cool.

Thank you, guys.

(cheering)

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

The Sophomore Prom Queen.

And might I say, you're all lovely ladies.

Not my type, but lovely.

Oh, wow.

Uh, it seems that the winner is a write-in.

What?!

(nervous laughter): Is that fair?

And the Prommie goes to...

Erin Silver!

Whoa! (applause, cheers)

Whoo!

Go! Get up there!

Get up there, go! You get up there!

See? I told you everybody supports you.

Did you do this?

Did you get everybody to write me in?

Well, it was my idea,

but everybody here likes you, Silver.

Go get your Prommie.

Wow.

Thank you, guys, so much.

Um, I'll tell you,

uh, this has been a hard year for me.

It's made me question

everything.

Who I am.

What I like.

What I'm all about.

So, thank you.

For reminding me.

This is not me.

I hate proms.

I do. I'm sorry, but I really do.

They're all about conformity and popularity

and all these things I really detest.

All I wanted recently was to fit in.

And I tried really hard.

I mean, look at me.

I paid good money, real human earth dollars,

to have some foul-smelling orange chemicals

sprayed on my body

to approximate the effect of sun damage.

I have pieces of God knows what kind of toxic plastic

superglued to my fingernails.

And these shoes...

are hideously, hideously painful.

At this moment, I'm telling you,

I cannot for the life of me feel my toes.

And I want to feel my toes.

So, maybe I am a freak.

But that is better than being

some weird zombie, prom-loving loser.

I don't know exactly who I am.

But I do know who I'm not.

And I am no prom queen.

Let me help you with that.

So, thanks.

But no thanks.

♪ ♪

Hello, Ethan.

Hey, Mr. Matthews, so listen...

I'm-I'm not gonna go to the lacrosse camp.

What?

I'm gonna go visit my dad in Montana.

Go backpacking for a couple months.

Well, you sure?

I mean, you're giving up a huge opportunity.

There's gonna be college scouts there and...

I know, but, look,

I-I may not be sure what I'm about exactly,

but it's not lacrosse.

I know that.

Why'd you tell your dad about my party?

I didn't.

Yeah, right.

Wait. Is that what everyone thinks?

They don't think. They know.

Everyone saw you in your dad's video, Annie.

You're a rat.

(laughs)

I didn't tell my dad.

Of course you didn't.

Then why do people think I did?

Who cares what people think?

Um, I'll be right back, okay?

Yeah.

Hey.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Thank you so much for getting everyone to write my name in.

It was just what I needed,

you know?

It, like, woke me up.

I feel so much better.

(sighs)

I want to come back to West Beverly, Dixon.

I'm ready to come back.

That's great.

What's wrong?

You okay?

Why do you care?

I'm just a zombie, prom-loving loser.

ETHAN: Silver.

That speech was...

awesome.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

God, it's such a drag they don't serve any liquor.

Yeah, well, it is the sophomore prom, so...

(phone ringing)

Uh, sorry. I-I have to take this.

Uh, yeah. No problem.

Hurry back. I will.

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure. What's up?

Uh, there is something you should know.

Jen-- not a nice person.

I know her pretty well.

She is a compulsive liar.

She's practically a sociopath.

She used to have everybody snowed over, but not me.

Look, I'm sorry.

I, uh... I should have asked you

if it was cool for me to bring a date.

I didn't mean to disrespect you, Kelly.

Wait. No. No, no, no.

I just... I thought we were cool

after that night, and you know,

we said no strings attached.

You know what? I'm not jealous.

I am trying to be your friend here.

Okay.

I'm...

I'm not interested in you anymore.

I'm not.

Is there someone else?

I've moved on.

That's enough.

I'm hanging up on you, Olivier.

You see, this is exactly why I want a divorce.

It's nice getting air.

I could tell you were claustrophobic in there.

And I was, too, actually.

Have you ever been on the Paramount lot before?

Oh, look, they're shooting something.

Want to walk by and see if we get discovered?

Definitely not.

Yeah. Me, either.

Want to walk to New York?

So, you're probably one of those people

who thinks New York is better than L.A.

(laughs)

Give L.A. time.

It has everything.

Mountains, beaches, oh, great weather.

There is no weather here.

I miss the snow.

Ms. Taylor.

Oh. Hey, you two.

I was just getting ready to head back inside.

Liam, I'm glad to see you came to the prom.

And I'm sure your stepfather

will be glad, too.

It's a step in the right direction.

Have fun exploring the lot.

What did she mean,

your stepfather will be glad you came?

Ah... Liam.

(clears throat)

What did she mean?

I don't know.

My stepdad wants me to get involved with school stuff.

(sighs)

Is that why you asked me to the prom?

What does it matter?

I'm here.

You know why it matters?

Because I like you, okay?

I don't care if it's not cool.

I'm tired of pretending.

I actually like you.

And everyone said that I was a fool,

you don't treat me right, and it's true.

I mean, all night,

you haven't wanted to dance or take photos or talk,

but still, stupid me

just kept on defending you.

I was, like, "Oh, my God, he invited me to prom."

"Oh, my God, he cleaned out the trash in his car."

"Oh my God, he bought me a black orchid corsage."

I mean, why did you get me this corsage?

I knew I was supposed to.

But it's a black orchid.

That's what they had in the store. That's not true.

You have to special order black orchids.

I know because they're my favorite flower, but

the question is,

how did you know they're my favorite?

Did you ask someone?

(sighs)

No. I...

You looked on my Facebook page, didn't you?

You did.

You wanted to learn about me,

so you looked on my Facebook page,

and then, you looked at my personal interests,

and in between spicy tuna rolls and the smell of Neiman Marcus,

you saw black orchids, so you went out

and ordered one for me to make me happy.

(laughs)

Because...

you like me.

Admit it.

You like me.

You like me, don't you?

Yeah.

(rock music playing)

Freeze! Don't move a muscle!

Oh.

Oh, my God, Harry.

Hey, I was being the bad cop.

(laughing) Oh.

So, you having fun?

Oh, yeah, totally.

Okay, not totally.

I tried to give a friend advice,

and I should have just stayed out of it.

No. That-That's not you.

Right, 'cause I'm a busybody.

No, that's not what I meant.

You care about people, yeah.

You're passionate.

And whoever this friend is, if

they can't see that, then, he's an idiot.

Or she's an idiot, but I'm guessing that it's a he.

Thank you, Harry.

Mm. I mean it.

(phone ringing)

Yeah.

It's my wife.

She-She wouldn't go to prom with me.

Oh. Maybe I should punish her

and not answer it.

Go, go.

All right.

Hey, sweetie.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

What was that for?

For being a jackass.

Dude, I'm so sick of looking at you.

Do you know what Adrianna's gone through?

(grunts)

(crowd clamoring) MAN: Oh, damn!

What's wrong with you?

MAN: Get him, Navid! Get him!

MAN: Kick his ass! Get him!

Navid?

(grunting)

Navid!

Navid?

My water just broke.

I think I'm going into labor.

Man, your stepfather sounds like an ass.

What about your mom? Can't you talk to her?

No. She's... changed.

I mean, we used to be tight, but since she married him,

she's totally different.

I don't know. I tell you, I'd rather be poor

than rich and live with him.

That sucks.

Yeah.

♪ ♪