All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E04.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

I'm Dick Strawbridge and along
with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for
a whole new life in France and

bought this magnificent chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what
we've done.

It is so worth it.

We've gradually been
making it into our home,

as well as running
as a business.

[banging]

That's a long way up.

But it turns out we're not
alone, as dozens of Brits are

doing exactly the same thing.

[child yelling]

Sometimes you have to pinch
yourself to think,

"I own that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and
I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners.

Quite a lot of scrap here, it's
worth money.

Might be able to pay you this
time.

Dick:--and guide these daring
Brits where we can.

That's a solid old bridge,
matey.

Dick: As they renovate--

Man: This is looking good.

I'm quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before so
it should be all right.

Dick:--and struggle to transform
these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Absolutely magnificent.

Mamma mia!

It's the curse of the accursed
pool.

This is not the way to make
money.

Dick: But however hard the going
gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and
queens of their very own

castles.

Cheers!

Chin chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, there's some
surprises when I go in search of

hidden booty in one chateau.

This is why people treasure
hunt.

Look at the top there.

Ow!

Dick: Arguments and toilet
troubles for two chateau

rookies.

Angelina: What's the point of me
being here if you're not going

to listen to me.

♪ ♪

Dick: And a single mom gets more
than she bargained for at her

13-bedroom mansion.

Oh, that was your hand!

Don't worry, I've for another
one.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The 17th century,
baroque-style Chateau du

Bailleul sits in over six acres
of land.

Philip: The festoon lights are
going to go along the trees that

way.

Dick: It's home to estate agents
Phil and Angelina Baillie-Smith

but they don't own the chateau.

They rented it.

This is a trial run to see if
chateau life is for them.

We always said that if you're
going to try to make a business

out of a place like this, you've
got to go through it yourself.

You're learning if this can be
your life.

Dick: They're hosting a 50th
anniversary party here in the

Pays de la Loire.

I've already helped them build a
bridge for it.

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

Philip: It is.

Dick: But now the event, their
very first one, is closing in

fast.

Yeah, less than a month until
really, the deadline.

Yeah, you gotta try to
prioritize it one to ten.

Everything being one and nothing
being ten.

Dick: But Phil's top priority at
the moment is far from

glamorous.

He needs to sort out the toilets
for the partygoers.

♪ ♪

Dick: They're directly above an
old septic tank and there's

rising damp.

There's some sort of damp
membrane that's retained

moisture and it's just soaked
through so it's hard making it

look like something you'd
actually want to use rather than

part of the horror movies.

Dick: Horror is definitely not
the theme of the 50th wedding

anniversary celebration they're
hosting so Phil needs to get

stuck in.

Philip: Ah, this is the
glamorous chateau life that

everyone thinks I need.

Trying to avoid getting my face
near to the toilet as much as

possible

Dick: Unfortunately Phil, there
are no easy jobs in a chateau

but some are cleaner than
others.

I'm making bath bombs for all
the guests that are coming.

The difference between me and
Phil is that I'm quite creative

and always done like decorating
and ideas.

Little self-touches,
upholstering, painting,

furnishing.

That is my strength.

Phil loves the manly job roles.

Philip: Smells wonderful.

[coughs]

Angelina: We certainly
established the rules of the

household, so to speak.

Philip: Oh, glamorous.

I'm going to add rose fragrance
oil.

You want to be able to throw in
a bath bomb and the whole room

fills with scent to take you
away to a nice and more relaxing

place.

Philip: That smells wonderful.

[sniffing]

Dick: Phil thinks he's got a
solution to the damp problem.

With a little luck, a
dehumidifier will solve the

issue in time for me to decorate
for the party.

Let's rip it all off and see
what happens.

♪ ♪

[paper ripping]

Let's add a bit of colour.

It's just a bit of fun play with
the colours so it doesn't really

matter.

It's whatever the interior
you're trying to match it to.

Dick: The colour scheme is the
least of Phil's worries.

Philip: I might end up putting
lining paper over the problem

again for a second time.

♪ ♪

I always hate when they fall
apart and crumble.

But yay!

This one come out great!

Dick: Angelina's bath bombs may
be good to go but with just a

few weeks before the first paid
event, the toilet is anything

but.

They're a lot damper than I
thought.

You can actually feel the
moisture in it.

I'm a little bit worried that I
won't have enough time before

the party for it to let this dry
out and then be able to decorate

it properly.

Dick: There's little option but
to wait and pray the damp dries

out in time.

Not only can I feel Philip's
pain, I think I can smell it as

well.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the magnificent
Chateau de Jalesnes.

It's the home of British couple
Michael and Jonathan.

Three years ago, they swapped
life in London, working as a

social housing manager and a
buyer, for a new life in the

Loire Valley.

We thought it was too good an
opportunity to miss.

Dick: With the help of
investors, they've converted it

into 15 holiday apartments and a
wedding venue.

But with only a handful of
weddings booked so far this

year, they haven't made a profit
yet.

They've decided this year is
make-or-break for them.

Jonathan: Do you know I haven't
earned anything until it starts

making money.

We've got to make a decision:

Can we still sustain the two of
us being here?

Dick: They're doing everything
they can to keep the costs down

and attract more guests to stay
at the chateau.

Recently, they explored some of
the chateau's many caves,

looking for anything of value.

Jonathan: Wow, oh my goodness.

♪ ♪

Dick: They found 40 bottles of
wine dating back to the 1970s--

Motherlode!

Dick:--which they plan to share
with wine buffs and connoisseurs

staying at the chateau.

Jonathan: 1995.

Dick: Increasing the experience
and appeal of staying at this

amazing place.

And they find a well.

We got water!

Dick: A valuable free source of
water that Jonathan plans on

trying to extract later.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, I'm going to help
Jonathan search for something in

one of the sealed-up caves.

In the back of the car, I've got
my tools.

We're going exploring.

[laughing]

Ah, boys will play.

That's not a small chateau.

♪ ♪

Hello, Dick.

Jonathan, hello!

Lovely to meet you!

And you, thanks ever so much for
coming.

I've actually got my tools in
the back of the car.

If I just grab those, can we go
and have a look at some of these

caves?

Sure!

♪ ♪

Jonathan: Straight out of the
gate there around the block.

Dick: The chateau's moat is over
30-feet wide, 16-feet deep, and

runs around the building for
almost a quarter of a mile.

You can get a bus down here so
my car's no problem.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is just sort of a
playground for boys, isn't it?

The things you can do.

There's an awful lot of wear on
these stones and they're

sedimentary.--they're quite
soft.

You can see them crumbling
around you.

Jonathan: Well, that's the
effect of the water.

Dick: But it is safe, isn't it?

Well, in the main, yes.

Dick: Mm, I'll take Jonathan's
word for it.

So what are we looking for then?

Jonathan: We had a Facebook
message from one of the girls

who was at school here who said
that she was looking out of the

windows and before the Germans
left, she saw them putting the

wine into the caves and breaking
them up afterwards.

Dick: The German Army occupied
the chateau during the Second

World War.

And of course, if it was good
enough to break up,

it was good wine.

Yeah, that's what I think.

Dick: There could be more wine,
as if they haven't found enough

already.

Dick: Okay, I've got some
drills, some hammer.

Jonathan: There is one, for
instance, that you could get

into.

And then--

Dick: That's amazing.

Jonathan:--there's others.

Dick: Michael and Jonathan have
nine breaked-up caves coming off

their moat.

Today we'll have time to search
just one for the fabled hidden

wine.

Which one?

Which one?

Jonathan: Here's one.

Look.

For instance, look at this one.

The really exciting thing about
it is, we've got no ideas.

Jonathan: No clue.

This is why people treasure hunt
because in here, there could be

anything.

And we're going 50/50.

No.

Dick: I don't think Michael
would approve that one.

No, he wouldn't.

Nor would the French government
either.

Dick: Really?

No, they--we have--in our
contract, it says that anything

that we discover is given over
to the state so, shh.

Dick: Okay.

If we find anything, keep quiet
everyone, right?

Now what we're going to do, I'm
going to take this bit out over

here, go down between those
bricks 'cause--[knocking].

- I've got no idea.
- Jonathan: Yeah.

- Dick: You up for it?
- I'm up for it.

Dick: Okay.

Smashing through this wall with
a sledgehammer risks damaging

whatever goodies lie within.

Instead, I'm using my power
drill for a more targeted

approach.

- You happy with that?
- Yeah, I am.

[drilling]

It's going in quite easy.

That's not a bad place to
choose, is it?

There we go.

[drilling]

Jonathan: How far are you in
there?

Dick: Hold on.

[drilling]

Okay, so six inches, eight
inches.

[Jonathan laughing]

[drilling]

Dick: This is for checking out
drains and I've got it for when

we got problems with sort of the
sewage.

It kind of varies on the chateau
that we use it on.

Like a little camera.

It also has a light it can turn
on.

This is the first light that's
gone in there for we don't even

know how long.

It could be 50, it could be 100.

Case over here.

Case over here.

So you can see the screen.

- See the screen?
- Yeah, yeah.

Feel a bit queasy.

Feel like one of those doctors.

[laughing]

I think your horse has
definitely got a problem.

Arthroscopy.

Here we go.

Watch, watch, watch, watch.

It's your cave, it opens up.

So we don't know where we can
see.

That looks like there's light
reflecting off things there,

doesn't it?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: In the heart of France,
proudly stands Chateau du

Masgelier.

Dating back to 1174, the
medieval castle has had many

noble owners, including the
Knights Templar and King Louis

XIV.

Now, it's home to this
nine-year-old Louis and his mom

Fiona.

Fiona: I think my interest in
period properties started as a

child.

I used to play in a very big
country house and I always used

to think, "Yeah, I'm going to
get myself one of these one

day."

♪ ♪

I spent 30 years in the U.K.
in property development so

to buy the castle, it seemed
very logical to me that it

would be the next biggest
challenge to take.

♪ ♪

Dick: Located in the Limousin
region of France, it's got 13

bedrooms, a 14-bed coach house,
a chapel, and some medieval

dungeons.

Similar chateaux are on the
market for about £900,000 at the

moment.

Most people would admit that
they do have that fantasy, that

notion.

"Wouldn't it be lovely to have a
castle?'

Dick: Yeah, very romantic in
theory.

Fiona's had to put in a
bucketload of work to get this

840-year-old relic looking like
it does now and there's still

plenty more to do.

I remember arriving and sitting
on my bed that night just

crying, thinking, "Oh my God,
what have you actually done?"

Dick: She started by converting
the servants' quarters for her

and Louis into an apartment
with all mod cons.

It's five years on.

He loves the castle.

Wouldn't want to live anywhere
else.

Dick: The long-term plan is to
rent out some of the chateau's

13 bedrooms as a B&B but there's
still a lot of work to do before

that's possible.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fiona's been working
almost entirely singlehandedly,

all paid for by using life
savings from her past property

developments.

♪ ♪

I'm doing it on my own because
it gives me a sense of

achievement at this stage of my
life.

This is kind of going to be my
baby.

This is kind of the haul.

Dick: But there's a catch:

There's a limited time each year
Fiona can get the work done.

There are certain works that you
can only really do when the

weather is very, very warm
because castles generally are

very, very cold and coal.

So the painting, wallpapering,
once it hits, I'd say, October,

you can forget that right
through to March and because the

wallpaper will not take so it's
a total waste of time.

So more pressure's on because
you know--[gasps]--it won't be

until the following year that
you can really get works done.

Dick: Fiona's been having
ongoing problems with the

electrics.

Some of the floors have not been
updated for maybe 30 years.

Dick: This is one job Fiona
can't tackle herself.

She's called her mate,
electrician Pete, to try and fix

the issue once and for all.

So every time I turn on the
electricity box, it works for a

while and then it's just
tripping out.

Okay.

And at times, it's taking the
other levels out as well at the

same time.

Yesterday, it did work.

It was fine, it was running.

It was fine all day?

Fiona: All day and then today,
it's been very temperamental.

Dick: First, Pete has to find
the fuse box where the problem

is.

Trial and error, basically.

Dick: Eventually, he finds it on
the first floor.

♪ ♪

Pete:OK, t's actually down there
that's giving us problems.

Dick: Unfortunately, now he has
to go through all the lights

from the first floor to find the
fault.

If he can't find the problem,
Fiona can end up having to

rewire this whole section of the
chateau, a cost of thousands she

just doesn't have the budget
for.

Trying to find problems in a
place this size gotta be a real

nightmare.

It just feels never ending and
the money's going out and

nothing's coming in and you just
see this bank balance going down

and down and down.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: A 200-mile drive northwest
of Fiona's, I'm hunting for a

stash of wine, supposedly hidden
by the Germans in one of

Jonathan and Michael's sealed-up
caves and we've spotted

something shiny.

Do you know what we could do?

We could put another hole a
couple of inches lower down.

Jonathan: Uh hmm.

Maybe six or four inches lower
down and then we've got some

light coming in the top hole.

Maybe shine a torch in the top.

Jonathan: You want some
material.

Here we go.

[drilling]

Dick: Right, we're going in
again.

See if we get any more light.

Here we go.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, hey!

What's that?

Jonathan: That's glass.

That's a bottle.

That's a [bleep] bottle!

It's a bottle!

[Jonathan laughing]

Jonathan: It is, isn't it?

That's the neck of a bottle.

It's more than one bottle, mate.

- Jonathan: Yes, it is.
- Dick: It's confirmed!

We have a positive sighting.

Even a lower-end bottle of wine
from the 1940s could be worth as

much as 100 quid.

Jonathan, if you're up for it,
I'm going to put a couple more

holes in here.

[drilling]

Boy, this is now--we're
hammering it out.

This is the same as a hammer
chisel.

[drilling]

Jonathan: Or a knife in butter.

Dick: Whoa, that is so soft.

I have to be careful.

I don't want to bring down any
stone in there.

♪ ♪

[drilling]

You're not through, are you?

- You are.
- I am through.

Dick: There's more in the back.

Hold on, we don't want any of
that to fall inwards, do we.

Reach over--ow!

[laughter]

Can you help me?

Ow.

I'll tell you why "Ow."

Dick: That's what we saw.

That's champagny type stuff, you
know, or brandy.

Dick: Champagne doesn't last as
well as wine but one unspoiled

bottle could be worth between
100 and 200 pounds.

Jonathan: Oh, wow.

It goes right--I should--right
up the back.

Dick: There's an awful lot of
broken glass in there.

Are there any still in one
piece?

Jonathan: And there's one
sitting right within tantalizing

distance.

It's still got the neck on it.

I bet that's the champagne
bottle.

Is it now?

And one's got a stopper in.

- No way!
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- No way.
- Yes, yes, yes.

Let me have a turn too.

I think--it's very dark--I think
there's one in there that's

still got the cap on top of it.

So...

Ready?

Oh!

♪ ♪

Dick: Oh, no.

Oh man, that's just--

I'm parched just looking at it.

Dick: So sad.

It's a beautiful bottle.

I thought it was going to be
this one.

Dick: Well, it's frustrating but
this has been fascinating.

These bottles could have been
hidden by the Germans at the

tail end of the Second World
War.

But the cave's sandstone is
constantly being eroded by water

and unfortunately, over the
years, it's fallen down and

smashed Chateau de Jalesnes'
precious cargo.

But I'll tell you what.

I have got a bottle of that 1979
we found, if you fancy having a

glass.

Okay.

[laughter]

Dick: This is a wine Jonathan
and Michael find before.

I hope it survived the 38 years.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just over 100 miles
northwest at Chateau du

Bailleul--

[Philip grunts]

Dick:--it promises to be another
busy day for Phil and Angelina.

Beautiful, having lots of space
for obviously, events and stuff.

There's a downside sometimes.

When you get to the end of the
day, you look at your phone and

your step count is up to like
30,000 and you actually haven't

gone anywhere.

You've just been walking around
with some wood.

Dick: They're hosting their
first-ever paid event in just

over a week.

While Phil waits for the toilets
to dry out, he's making a start

on the other part of his master
plan.

The outdoor bar he's promised
the party clients.

There's never been anything
particularly simple at this

house.

This is the bar.

Dick: They need to make this
50th wedding party a success to

prove to themselves they have
the mettle to run a permanent

chateau business.

[banging]

Philip: Careful.

Hi!

The event is extremely close now
and I'm pretty nervous.

I'll say it.

When Angelina isn't here, my
worries that if we don't make

this event a success, I could
handle that but I don't think

Angelina could.

Angelina's tolerance for making
a success about this place is a

lot lower than mine.

I don't know what we'll do if
this fails.

I think we'll have to rethink
whether we can make it, you

know.

Are we good at this and we'd
have to go back to England and

resume our lives and go to
normal, you know, day jobs that

are not as exciting as this.

Not, you know, having adventure
of, you know, looking after,

you know, great big old chateau.

♪ ♪

Dick: The outdoor bar was a key
part of Phil's sales pitch for

the party.

It's taking shape.

It's looking like a bar.

♪ ♪

Dick: On the night, this bar
will be serving up to 60 people.

Oh...

The bend in the wood.

[grunting]

[banging]

Philip: I can see it!

It's going to happen!

Ah!

I think we've done it.

♪ ♪

Philip: One last thing.

Dick: With the bar furnishings
in place, Phil's ready for his

first customer.

Wow!

What do you think?

Some lighting, bunting, you
know.

It will be stunning.

Philip: Yeah, I'm really glad
you're envisaging all of these

things 'cause once I finish
building it, that's what you're

doing.

Can you pour me a drink then?

Angelina [gasps]: I love it!

You come prepared!

[laughing]

- It's wine or wine?
- Wine will be fine.

♪ ♪

- Cheers.
- To the bar.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: I'm at Chateau de
Jalesnes, about to taste one of

the 40 bottles of wine Jonathan
and Michael found in one of

their caves.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's glorious up here,
isn't it?

Jonathan: It is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's our escape.

Can't shake this at all, can
you?

Jonathan: No.

Wow, 1979.

Dick: '79 isn't generally
regarded as a good year in

France but I'll tell you what.

I'll just be amazed if this
38-year-old wine hasn't spoiled

and if it hasn't, it will be a
good indication that the other

39 bottles could be in good nick
too.

I really feel very privileged.

This was actually bottled the
year I became a second

lieutenant in the British Army.

[cork pops]

Oh.

- Got it?
- Oh my, Jonathan!

Doesn't smell vinegary, does it?

No, that's good!

We're all right.

That's not corked at all.

Jonathan: Huh.

That's actually very special.

Yeah.

That really surprised the hell
out of me.

Yeah, look at the lovely colour.

Dick: Jonathan decants it to
separate out any sediment and

let the wine breathe.

Jonathan: I'm going to put a bit
of air in it now.

For a bit.

Dick: That's fine.

So this is the thing to do.

What a cracking way to end the
way.

Thank you, sir!

Cheers.

♪ ♪

Hey!

[laughing]

That is surprisingly good.

♪ ♪

Wow.

That is amazing.

Actually, the second gulp is
even better.

That is decidedly good.

It was worth it, wasn't it?

Life in a chateau is not too
terrible, is it?

Not at moments like these.

Dick: It's been a good day for
Jonathan.

So the hoard of hidden German
wine didn't survive.

But if the wine I tasted today
is anything to go by, the other

bottles could attract Chateau de
Jalesnes wine-loving guests.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just under 200 miles
southeast, Fiona Jones has spent

the last five years renovating
her gorgeous 12th century

chateau.

This summer, she's been tackling
its ground floor.

She already rents out rooms to
guests in the estate's

three-bedroom gîtes and
eventually wants to do the same

with rooms in the 13-bedroom
chateau.

Today, Pete, her trusted
electrician, is trying to find

the faulty circuit that's
causing the fuses to blow on all

four floors of the chateau.

Pete: It might be a loose cable
somewhere which is sad because

it's an itty problem and it
could all circuit out.

Dick: Meanwhile, Fiona's getting
on with decorating the dining

room.

It hasn't been used as a dining
room for forever.

The whole wall's been plastered
now in a nice English plaster so

that needs sealing and painting
for defore or papering.

Originally, the room would have
had this panelling from the

floor to the ceiling.

Dick: Fiona finds some of the
wood panels hidden behind a

false wall.

Others have been turned into
doors.

She's bringing the treasures
back to their original home

here.

That's going to look really nice
once that's stained and

varnished.

Dick: It's a two-person job so
she's called in builder Dave to

help.

She just needs to decide which
panel she wants where.

Fiona: Hold on, that's damaged.

We won't use that one.

We'll use the damaged one at the
far end where it doesn't show so

much.

Fiona: Ready?

Go.

Thank you.

That one's a bit taller as well,
isn't it?

Fiona: Okay, move it along.

We'll try another one.

[gasping]

Nearly.

Oh!

Nearly.

Fiona: Okay, that's not going to
work either, is it?

Dave: That's what I'm getting
at.

Fiona: It's Laurel and Hardy,
isn't it?

Dave: Just a little bit, yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fiona's already under
pressure to get this work done

before the winter hits and it's
too cold for plaster, paint and

wallpaper to hold.

But she's made other plans that
are adding to the stress.

I'm going to host an event at
the end of July.

The mayor is going to attend.

He's very interested in seeing
what I've been doing up here.

I do at least need to have the
dining room complete so then

with the event, I can show
everybody the whole of the

ground floor.

So the pressure's on.

Dick: It's a lot of work to
finish in just nine weeks.

Dave: Small ones together, bigs
together.

Fiona: No, looks awful.

Dave: Looks awful?

Fiona: Yeah, no, I don't like
it.

Small big, small big, small big.

We'll hire a domestic now.

Dick: Looks like sparks are
starting to fly here and are

hopefully about to upstairs
'cause Pete thinks he's solved

the problem of the tripping
electrics.

Pete: Problem is here.

You've got a bad connector on
the neutral and it's touching

this and that's what's causing
the problem.

♪ ♪

Dick: Something as simple as two
bare wires touching each other

has been tripping the whole
chateau on and off for the past

five years.

All Pete needs to do is replace
the wires, a two-minute job.

Quick job.

Okay, that's a job done.

Everything's done.

Dick: That quick fix has
potentially saved Fiona

thousands of pounds.

Hey, give me five, Pete!

Hey!

Dick: She counts herself lucky
that she's found a top team to

work with over here.

It's purely coincidental that
the few people that I do and

have come in to work with me are
English expats.

It wouldn't matter to me.

You could be French, English,
any nationality, as long as you

get my electricity all sorted.

That's all I care about but I
can cook.

Dick: And she's finally happy
with the order of the panelling.

Dave's supposed to be fixing it
to the wall.

[drilling]

Fiona: That's my hand there.

Oh, that was your hand!

Don't worry, I've got another
one.

Sorry.

[laughing]

Sorry.

[drilling]

Dick: But there's still a lot to
get done before Fiona's ready

for her big party reveal.

This wall needs to be plastered
and then would have to be sealed

with paints and then wallpapered
as well and then it's just the

flooring that's left.

God, I've got so much decorating
to do.

You have.

[Fiona laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes in
the Loire Valley, after

previously discovering a well in
one of their caves, Jonathan and

volunteers Cohen and Thomas are
trying to test how easily they

can extract water from it.

It's costing us 7,000 euros a
year to water the back garden.

That equates to the profit from
210 guests so we have to have

210 people here before we've
even been paid to water the

garden.

Dick: Jonathan has hired the
biggest submersible water pump

he could find.

We discovered the well but we
don't know quite how much

water's in there.

So we need to jack up a pump,
dangle it down into the well so

that we can test how much is
coming out.

I'm hoping it's going to be like
an American oil gusher.

Dick: It's certainly a big pump,
bigger than they probably need

for this job.

It's a serious bit of kit.

I mean, that's even bigger than
a fireman's hose.

Is that going to go through that
hole?

- We measured it so...
- Jonathan: Okay.

♪ ♪

Don't put yourself at risk.

Whatever you do, let the thing
go, all right?

It's going down!

Jonathan: Don't risk yourself.

Okay, all right.

Good luck, guys.

I'm going up to turn the machine
on.

See you in a bit.

Cross your fingers.

We're ready.

Dick: A big pump needs a big
generator.

Hopefully, Jonathan can operate
it.

So I'm just trying to remember
what they told me this morning.

[laughing]

How to start up.

"Don't do this, don't do that
and whatever you do, don't do

the other."

I can't remember this, that, or
the other.

[laughing]

So, in for a penny.

Come on.

[motor whirring]

Yes!

Yes, turn it on.

Now the moment of truth.

I'm going to belt like the
clappers 'cause I want to see it

coming out the other end.

Ready?

I'm off!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[water gushing]

Jonathan: Oh my God!

All right.

Dick: It's going great until...

It's going down.

I don't really know what to make
of it.

Starting to get--starting to get
mixed feelings as to whether

it's actually going to work or
not.

♪ ♪

Dick: Is this all the water
that's down there or does the

answer lie with the humongous
pump they're using?

Meanwhile, back at Chateau
Bailleul, Phil and Angelina have

just a week left before hosting
their first-ever paid event:

a 50th wedding anniversary
party.

Pressure's mounting because
we're very, very close and the

toilets are the most important
thing that I've actually had to

do here and I still haven't done
them.

Dick: Severe damp in the toilet
is refusing to dry out.

♪ ♪

This wall needs to be completely
scraped off and ideally, at that

point, you plaster it, you paint
it.

Don't have any time for that so
I've got to hide it for the

party.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil's quick fix is to
stretch fabric over the toilet's

unsightly walls.

We have to stretch material over
the top and I'm just looking at

the measurements.

And then, wood panel up to here
which we're faking with a bit of

ply.

Dick: Meanwhile...

Whee!

Awesome, this is fun.

Dick: Upstairs, Angelina's
putting her design skills to

good use.

Phil is relying on me to find
the best fabrics suitable for

the toilet.

We're pretty limited on time
now.

There's only, you know, a few
days left so I'm trying to do

this as quickly as possible,
hand it over to Phil, Phil then

completes that job and make it
look great.

'Cause this is important.

You can't just walk into that
toilet.

You'll be shock horrified, you
know.

They'll be known as the worst
toilets alive, you know.

Dick: Angelina's fabric will
cover the top half of the walls

above new wooden panels that
Phil is constructing.

He's aiming for an old-style
look with modern materials.

♪ ♪

If we can use this, put a little
square in the middle of it, when

it's painted, to a quick glance,
it will look like it's some

original wood panelling and
hopefully, no one will realize

I've put a little bit of ply and
some decorative beading.

[staples punching]

[sighs]

Philip: Come on.

It's a fraction off level but
they are toilets, after all,

not an art gallery.

- Angelina: Here you go.
- Philip: You think?

Angelina: That's really lovely.

Going to be actually in keeping
with the character of the

chateau.

I'm really pleased with that.

Feeling quite positive and
hopefully that's going to be a

quite quick turnaround.

I think it will be, anyways.

♪ ♪

Dick: It seems an end to their
toilet trauma could be in sight.

Angelina: I could have ironed
this.

Philip: Yeah, well, you could
have done lots of things.

Dick: Or maybe not.

Angelina: Are you planning on
stapling this?

Yes, put it corner to corner and
yes.

Just a couple of holes, start
from the middle and you work

your way up.

I need to be able to see how
it's hanging.

Angelina: This isn't stretched
but yeah.

Phil: Yeah well, can you lean
over and do that while I'm

holding up?

Angelina: Oh my God, it's too
hot.

Philip: Yes, I'm well aware.

Philip: Fingers move.

Not that close to my finger.

No higher than--

Philip: Fingers away.

I'm not moving my finger.

[Philip sighs]

[staples punching]

Angelina: Confined space,
halogen bulb, two people,

horrendous smell.

Dick: And that rising
temperature is causing rising

tempers.

Same thing you do here.

You're supposed to do the middle
and then the sides.

Philip: Why--

Angelina: Because you already
started on the corner and it's

at an angle which I can see.

It's like this.

What's the point of me being
here if you're not going to

listen to me?

That's at an angle.

I can see it.

[drops stapler]

♪ ♪

Now I have to waste my time and
wait for him to come back.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 270 miles southeast, for
Fiona, sometimes chateau

renovations have to take a back
seat to normal everyday life.

We're just going to go and
collect Louis now.

Dick: Fiona's little boy gets
dropped off by the school bus,

which also very conveniently
acts as Fiona's personal courier

service.

Merci, thank you.

The coach driver's kindly
dropped off the delivery of

emergency paint for the dining
room.

That's very, very common in this
small little community.

Everybody kind of helps each
other.

Dick: Fiona also needs the paint
for an 18th century staircase

that she's renovating in the
north wing.

The size of the staircase,
and just for the use for the

servants demonstrates how rich
the family actually was.

Dick: These days, all it
demonstrates is how damp and

rotten it is after years of
neglect.

And you can see on the old
lights here, all of the red dust

from the spores, from the wet
rot and the dry rot.

Dick: As well as causing
structural damage, some damper

mould can cause skin irritation
and breathing problems.

Fiona: I'm just getting the
majority of the fungus removed

and then a nice rough sandpaper
will clean this up completely.

Dick: Then Fiona will use a
chemical treatment to stop it

returning.

But next for today, ripping out
the old door.

Fiona: This wall was put up to
separate the staff when it was

run as an equestrian centre in
the 1980s.

Dick: One of my favourite things
about chateaux are the constant

surprises.

Some pleasant, some just plain
weird.

This did have a
tongue-and-groove wall,

but they've kind of filled in
a gap with hundreds of pairs

of socks just used as
tuck of insulation.

♪ ♪

This has gotta be my first--of
all of my renovation jobs for 30

years, I've never seen anyone
use socks as insulation.

♪ ♪

I've saved you some socks.

Saved me some, great.

Fiona: What size shoe are you?

I've heard you're size 2.

Ladies size.

[Dave muttering]

Dave: Never mind.

Dick: Dave removes the rest of
the wooden beams that supported

the old wall and ceiling above
the door.

Dave: You're asking me to come
out.

♪ ♪

Dave: I'll pass that to you,
Fiona?

Do mind the nails.

[sawing]

♪ ♪

Dave: All righty.

All done, all right.

Dave: Phew!

It's very nice to see it gone.

I think that's been enclosed for
about 40 years.

It will be beautiful.

I keep telling myself that.

[laughing]

- Dave: It will.
- Dick: Fingers crossed.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul,
Philip and Angelina have made up

over the toilet.

We can get away with just one
toilet for the day.

Angelina: I don't think so.

Dick: Angelina finishes hanging
the cloth that will hide the

toilet-stained walls.

Philip: Spent the entire day in
a toilet, comes in and swoops in

for the glory.

[staple punches]

Angelina: Yay!

I'm really, really pleased.

I'm actually really good at
this.

[laughing]

Living in a chateau, you imagine
it's going to be a fairy tale

but the mountain of work that
goes with it, along with

starting a business, it takes
its toll.

We're both sensible enough to
know there's a bigger picture,

you know.

Small arguments now for a better
life in the future is not a

problem.

Yeah.

Philip: We're on the home
stretch.

I'll have a working toilet
downstairs.

[staple punches]

Angelina: This is how it was
before and this is how it is

now.

The fabric has covered
everything that's horrid and

lurking behind it.

It's better than a wallpaper or
paint because it's actually

letting the wall breathe through
the fabric so the longer it

stays on, the longer it will dry
out.

Dick: With the fabrics hung and
panels in place, that's one

guest toilet nearly ready.

It's going to look better than I
think I expected.

I can see the end result.

Need to finish off some finer
details, actually for the

toilet.

Dick: With one toilet patched up
and the bar built, it's been a

productive few days.

That is something to drink to
celebrate.

Today's been a tough day.

Dick: But with less than a week
before the party, there's still

a huge amount to do.

It's all or nothing.

If we don't get it right, we
really have to evaluate if we're

capable of doing this moving
forward.

It's like make-or-break to the
life that you really want.

It's just life, I guess.

It's our life.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
Jonathan was using a powerful

pump to extract a free source of
water from a well, potentially

saving him 7,000 euros a year in
water bills for their 20-acre

garden when it stopped.

I was very excited because it
came gushing out.

We'll have to look down the well
now and see what's left.

Dick: Volunteer Cohen is still
hopeful.

Hmm, there is still some water.

- There is?
- Yeah, yeah.

Dick: The big pump wasn't pushed
far enough into the well.

We reposition the pump.

Jonathan: Okay.

So we think we're going to give
it another try.

Jonathan: Superb.

I'll go back up.

Let me know when you want it
turned on.

Good luck.

♪ ♪

Okay.

Whew.

All right, we can give it
another go.

♪ ♪

Cohen: Here it comes.

[water gushing]

Dick: The pump pulls up the last
of the water.

There was enough there to water
their 7-acre garden at least

once.

But nothing to check that the
water replenishes itself.

Otherwise, this well is useless.

Because the real test is: Does
the thing refill so we know

whether we got a go or not?

Dick: They'll come back after a
coffee to find out.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back in central France,
Fiona's been restoring a

300-year-old staircase.

She's putting up some ugly felt
left over for in this part of

the chateau was home to a
caretaker who clearly kept a lot

of cats.

There's got to be over 100 steps
here so all of this is literally

been soaked in cat urine.

That's why it smells so bad.

It's actually making my eyes
sting at the moment.

Dick: Fiona's vision is to
re-create how the staircase

would have looked in its prime
in the 1700s.

Fiona: Only 99 steps to go.

I want to try and preserve all
of the wood.

I don't want to carpet it.

I just want to make it look as
best--as original as possible.

Dick: Take note, people.

Everyday chateau life definitely
isn't always living like kings

and queens.

Sometimes the reality is more
Cinderella.

Fiona: There's mouse poo on that
as well.

[ripping]

Fiona: Big cobwebs under there.

It's a good job I'm not scared
of spiders, isn't it?

The spiders in the castle are so
huge, you hear them running

across the floor like they've
got boots on.

♪ ♪

Dick: After an hour of graft,
that's just one flight of stairs

cleared.

There's three more and months of
work before the staircase is

restored.

All of the steps are going to
need to be sanded and then also,

we're talking about each landing
as well.

Dick: Seems to me Fiona's taking
on an awful lot.

Let's hope she finishes it in
time for the mayor's visit in

nine weeks.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
Jonathan and volunteers Cohen

and Thomas are waiting to see if
the well refills with water.

Yeah, it's definitely filling
up.

You absolutely sure?

Yeah, it's bubbling.

Jonathan: That's great news.

That means we've got a constant
supply.

The only thing that we did wrong
here was that we've got a pump

that's far too big for the
amount of water that we've got

in the well.

I think we get a smaller pump,
you have a very good supply of

water.

I couldn't be happier.

[laughter]

Jonathan: Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

Dick: It's official.

Jonathan and Michael have just
secured a saving of 7,000 euros

a year.

♪ ♪

Why isn't this coming up?

It should be coming up.

That's if they can get that
oversized pump back out again.

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Is it still full of water.

Dick: As well as being a tight
squeeze, the pump weighs a hefty

50 kilos.

Jonathan: Can we attach it to
the car and then pull it out

with the car?

We could have a disaster because
if both ropes snap then we've

lost the pump down there.

Dick: Ideally, you'd use a
four-wheel drive with a winch

and metal cable for this job.

Jonathan has a Renault People
Carrier and what looks like a

clothesline.

[beeping]

Cohen: Slow.

♪ ♪

- How far is it?
- Couple of metres.

Cohen: Stop, stop!

Stop the engine.

Dick: Phew!

This free water supply has
been a great find.

It's surprises like these that
can make all the difference when

running a chateau.

It's part of what makes it
enjoyable.

[laughing]

Dick: Next time: Stop it!

Get away!

Dick: Jonathan and Michael deal
with the arrival of the

chateau's investors.

I wasn't expecting quite the
backlash.

Dick: It's a mad rush for Phil
and Angelina to set up the

anniversary party at their
chateau.

Angelina: Loads of nails fell
into that sink.

Philip: That's okay.

Just exhausted, really.

Dick: And Fiona struggles to get
her chateau ready for the

mayor's visit.

Fiona: I'm rushing, thinking
about Louis.

Grab a tea, stay.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪