All language subtitles for Doom Patrol s03e03 Dead Patrol.eng

[water splashing]

I mean, if one ignores the fact
that we appear to be dead,

it's almost peaceful.

Are we seriously fucking dead?

[Cliff] Are you fucking
kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?
We're not fucking dead.

Sure, we're just crossing
the river. It's all good.

[Cliff] Oh, I'm sorry,
did you want me to tell you you were right?

That the big green guy
with the death ray was bad?

-Yeah.
-[Cliff] Fine. You win, blue balls.

This is horseshit.
Dead or not dead, we're busting outta here.

-We're not busting out of here.
-Shut it, sack.

Listen up,
we bum rush the Jawa,

we get the hell out of Dodge.

[Cliff] Fuck, yes.

Question.

Is anybody else starting
to feel a little freaky?

Yeah.

What is that?

Smells like...eggs?

Hello?

[whispers] What's going on?

[Watchers gurgling]

Huh...

[imitates gasp]

[doorbell rings]

Guys?

Hey, you're back...

[grunts]

Ugh. Crap. Oh...

Yarn?

[breathing heavily]

No, no, no.

[breathing heavily]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. [sobs]

Are you happy now? Huh?

If you were here,
I could be yelling at you!

But you left me here all alone!

And now I lost
the best friends I've ever had!

I wasn't even supposed
to be here!

[breathes shakily]

I did this.

That dumb resort was my idea.

Niles handed me my destiny.

He literally gave me
a key to my destiny and what did I do?

I went on vacation.

[whispers] Cliff.

Cliff.

[playing on radio]
♪ You never love me anymore ♪

[RJ] How we doing today?

[Cliff] Are you shitting me?

Dad?

Who?

[Cliff] It's me.
Cliff. Your son.

-Cliffie?
-[Cliff] Yup.

Christ on a bike.

Life's taken a turn
since I saw you last, huh?

[Cliff] Sure. Is this heaven?

Well, up until about
30 seconds ago, I would've sworn it was.

What the hell happened
to you anyway?

[Cliff] Actually,
since you're asking,

sort of became
a minor superhero since you last saw me.

Uh-huh.

[Cliff] Didn't think
it would've been Garguax The Decimator's

alien death ray
that finally got me, but here we are.

Alien death ray, huh?

[Cliff] Yup.

Well, whatever cranks
your tractor, son.

[Cliff groans]

[grunts]

[Elinore] Told you to watch
your footing, son.

Mom?

Come on, Victor,
we don't have all day.

Wait, Mom. Hold up!

[in Spanish]

[Kay speaking]

[Kay speaking]

[Kay speaking]

[in Spanish] Come.

[Larry] Hooray!
Dorothy's home. Yes. [chuckles nervously]

How was the burial?
Was it amazing?

Um, my father's burial?
It was fine.

[Larry] Awesome.
I have some news, actually, some not-so-great news.

But not to worry
because I have a plan.

What news?

[Larry] What is this?

No, no, no, no, no.

[sighs]

Now, the real bitch was Cliff
'cause he came in a few pieces,

but it's nothing
a welding torch couldn't handle.

But the bandages? Lifesaver.

They'll preserve the bodies
until the ground has thawed.

Cinco de Mayo burial.

-Um...
-Hold on.

Hmm...

Right? Right, that's so Jane.

So Jane.

-Larry?
-What?

Why did you arrange
our dead friends at the dining room table?

Because leaving them jammed
in the shipping boxes was weird and morbid.

Seriously, Dorothy.

And they don't look
weird and morbid now?

Actually, seeing this
through fresh eyes, I can see your point.

Oh, God.

[sobs]

Larry, it's okay.

-How about I make us
some pancakes? -Okay.

[Dorothy sniffling]

Here, let me help.

[Rita] Help!

Help! Help!

-[Larry gasps] Whoa!
-[Dorothy] Oh!

What happened?

Rita! I saw Rita's face
in the batter.

Her face was in
the pancake batter, I swear to God.

I mean, what if
she's stuck in purgatory?

I saw her, Dorothy.
You have to believe me.

What if she's not dead?

We need help.

I think Crystal should
wait outside.

[sighs] First off,
it's bullshit when you talk about me

like I'm not standing
right here, Edwin.

Come on, mate,
you know she doesn't like it.

You're doing it, too.

I know you guys have this,
[imitating Charles] "Oh, we're dead,

-and we've been best
ghost friends for 30 years--" -Like 40 years.

Whatever the fuck, Charles.

I'm a part of
the detective agency now, so don't leave me out.

You're the part of
the agency that can still die.

Do you want to die?
'Cause this is dangerous.

If we simply killed her,
this wouldn't be an issue anymore.

Say that again. I dare you.

Struck a nerve, did I?

[siren chirps, wails]

That is an ambulance.

-A keen observation, Crystal.
-Shut up, Edwin.

Hold up a tick.
I think I know this ambulance.

-Danny, is that you?
-[Danny chirps]

You know an ambulance?

Used to be a street,
didn't they?

[horn honks]

-They want us to go with them.
-[siren wails]

We should go, Danny's aces.

We're in the middle of a case.

He'll totally still be there
when we get back.

[growls]

[Larry sighs]

[whooshing]

[Danny chirps, honks]

[Charles] Thanks, Danny.

[Danny chirps]

[Crystal] Hi. Nice mansion.

-Wow. Look at these two.
-Dear lord.

Ugh, can smell bandages
from here, can't I?

[Larry] Uh, we can hear you.

Oh, no.

Wait, who?

You can hear the boys?

Don't be dotty,
of course we can.

You're ghosts,
and you're standing right in front of us.

Now, Danny recommended you.

You are the Dead Boy
Detective Agency?

That we are.

Here to solve any and all
super supernatural mysteries.

Hauntings, curses,
otherworldly creatures, anything strange, really.

We're selectively here
to solve mysteries.

How old is this house?

Old. And it's a perfectly
lovely house.

Now, how much do you charge
for your services?

Uh, well,
we have to eat, you know?

Or I have to eat,
they don't eat.

[Larry] Okay. Um,
this has been super fun,

but you can leave now.

[Dorothy] No, stay.
And you'll be paid fairly.

But no funny business.

Deal?

Why would you do this?

[Larry] I don't know. Comfort?

Hey, Jesus, isn't it clear
that I'm not doing okay?

These kids
are Danny's big idea?

You lot sent the magical
ambulance to get us, right?

[Larry] Okay, listen,
if you two are ghosts, so why can I see you?

People who have been
close to death or extreme horrors can see us.

[Larry] Uh-huh. Copy that.

Okay, let's get down
to business.

To contact your friends,
we'll need a personal item.

And we'll need a person
to be the conduit.

You're a psychic.
Can't you do it?

Sorry, I don't let spirits
inside me anymore.

It can go sideways.

-She has damage.
-Shut it, Edwin.

Anyway...

it should be someone
with a strong connection

to whoever
we're trying to reach.

Oh, Larry saw Rita
in the pancake batter this morning.

[Larry] Or, you know,
I'm hallucinating from grief.

So you're a very
sad mummy then, yeah?

If Rita is reaching out,
she might still be conscious.

That means bandages here
is the conduit.

So, this is your afterlife?

You drink beer, hunt?

Of course you do.

Actually, I call it
my happy place.

Have a look.

[pegasus neighing]

[Cliff] Whoa.

[pegasus whinnies] [body thuds]

[Cliff] [gasps]
The hell you do that for?

You're gonna love it.
Tastes just like chicken.

[Cliff] That horse-winged thing
was beautiful and you just...

You just destroyed it like
everything else in your life, you son of a bitch.

Hell, I know you tried
your ever fucking best to screw me up.

Make me a bad father,
a bad husband, but guess what, asshole?

It didn't work.
You couldn't destroy me because in the end,

I knew my daughter.
I knew my grandson,

and you know what?
They knew me.

My sweet Clara had a boy, huh?

[Cliff] Oh, you mean
my sweet Clara? What do you care?

Hot damn.

[Cliff] What do you mean,
your sweet Clara?

There's no such thing
as your sweet Clara!

Hey!

[in Spanish]

[Abuelita speaking]

[Elenore] I know
you're reeling, Victor. It's a lot.

You wanna talk about it?

After the accident...

after we lost you,

Dad saved my life.

He and S.T.A.R. Labs
gave me the name Cyborg

and, I don't know,

I've sort of been
a superhero ever since.

Trying to anyway.

That sounds like something
your father would do.

Mom...

I am so sorry. I didn't mean--

No, no. Do not blame yourself
for a single solitary thing.

Do you hear me?

Look at this.

I am out here every day
hiking amongst all this beauty.

I'm living my best life
here and now, Victor.

Okay.

I never heard you talk
about hiking a day in your life.

Uh, I beg your pardon.
Your father and I hiked

-and rock climbed, too--
-Okay, now, hold up. When?

[chuckles] Long before
you came along, chump.

[both laughing]

I met somebody.

Now, this is what I'm here for.

Name?

Roni. She's cool, Mom.

She's real.

She just opened my eyes,

but she's got a lot of pain.

And she's done
some real bad things.

And I know I'm supposed
to be this hero,

but I just had to give
her another chance.

That was the only thing
that felt right.

No matter the risk.

Of course, Dad says--

Victor, I could
give a rat's ass what your father said.

Maybe he chose to turn you into
some sort of cybernetic weapon,

but as your mother who was
half responsible for this,

I'm proud to see
the sensitive, thinking,

compassionate man I raised
is alive and well.

Now take this and come on.

We're almost there.

[Crystal] These are all Rita's?

If we're trying to reach
one of our friends,

we're trying them all.

Okay, you're the medium.
What do they do?

Edwin has an extensive
working knowledge

of dead creatures that might
try to slip into Larry.

Charles has a stockpile
of weapons, costumes, generally upsetting shit.

[Larry] Okay, what's that for?

It's a baseball bat.

'Cause we're in the States.

Mind your business.

[Larry clears throat]

[sex ghosts
moaning in pleasure]

[Larry] Oh, God.

Boys. Turnip!

All of your sex ghosts
have the same safe word.

Just FYI.

They need
a cabinet particulier.

It's a private room
for romantic trysts.

Honestly, it's a perfectly
commonplace phrase when I was alive.

[Crystal exhales deeply]

[gasps] Wait,
I've got something.

But if this is Rita,
I'm sensing...

it's like she's here
and on the other side.

What does that mean?

It's not like a normal thing,
so I don't exactly know, but...

[wind blows]

[distorted]
Larry, call out to Rita.

-[Larry] Rita?
Rita, can you hear me? -Larry?

[in Rita's voice]
Larry, we're trapped in...

It feels like hell.

-I think it's hell.
-[Edwin] It's not hell.

Trust me.

-[Rita] Who was that?
-Rita, it's Dorothy. Hello.

You said you were
with the others?

We're under some kind of

black tunnel,
with lights that pass by.

Sounds like
the tunnel of souls.

They're still being processed.

So they're not gone?
Do you know what they are?

Technically.

Don't worry, Rita.
We're going to come and get you. You'll be okay.

Right, that is not the plan.

[screaming]

[screaming]

Wait! You don't have to fight.

Well, we did what
we'd said we do, and we'll email you an invoice.

If you wanna go
to the afterlife, do it yourselves.

[Larry] Wait, wait.

Wait. We don't know how.

Please.

I lost my mom and then my dad.

I can't lose my friends, too.
They're all I have.

You lost...

This isn't our problem anymore.

[Larry] Crystal.

Look, imagine what it's like
to know there might be a way to get your family back.

But you can't do it
without help.

[sighs]

Right, we going?

I think maybe we should help.

Oh, fuck right off.
You know Death is looking for us.

Parading around
in the afterlife

seems like a keen way
to get her attention.

Crossing over is a big ask.

We don't usually go in
for that sort of thing, Crystal, and you know it.

[Larry] Whoa. Hold up, hold up.
There's an actual Death?

Like an actual
capital "D" death

that is looking
for you specifically?

-Mind your business.
-This is what I'm talking about.

Yes, it's different
and whatever, scary.

And yes, it is riskier
for you two than it is for me.

But Edwin, no one knows
the afterlife like you.

And Charles will protect you.

-I don't need Charles
to protect me. -I'd do it anyway, won't I?

You say you started
this agency to help people,

to have a purpose with
all this time on your hands.

You want to be like those guys
from the detective novels.

Okay, I vote we help.

I also vote we help.

-What?
-Sorry.

-I vote you help, too.
-You don't get a vote.

Fine.

But if we get caught,
you'll feel absolutely gutted, Crystal.

There he is.
There's a brave lad.

Okay, Larry. We'll go with you.

Your connection to Rita
will be a bit of a flashlight in the dark.

[Larry] No, no.
See... 'Cause I'm alive.

And if I'm alive,
then how could I go with you?

Love this.

You're going to astral project.

So your soul
will leave your body.

Oh, just like
the negative spirit.

Not like that.

Sorry, never mind.

Here. Take this.

Concentrate. What do you see?

[Larry] Oh,
it's a space shuttle. Yeah. Like--

Oh! Ow! Fuck!

God! What the...

What... What did you just...
Look, look.

Wha... Look at me.

Right. We enter here.

Stay close to us.

Edwin has a proper knowledge
of how things work over on this side.

We'll keep an eye
on things here.

[Larry] Uh, this is
not what I expected the afterlife to look like.

[Edwin] This isn't
the afterlife.

It's more like a road
to the afterlife. It's a road to a lot of places.

[Charles] Edwin's
been dead since 1916, so he spent a lot of time here.

That bat is in case
we see Death?

Okay, I get that you're doing
the very adult thing of using humor to hide anxiety,

but you're
a tourist here, right?

Death is no joke.

Death's quite nice, actually.
And she is super fit.

It's the things
that work for her you have to worry about.

[Cliff] There's no way
my daughter reconciled with a shitheel like you.

How about a shitheel like you?

Not the same.

Well, you believe
what you want, Cliffie.

The fact is, you decapitating
yourself and Kate

kicked off a long
and fruitful relationship.

[Cliff] Bullshit.

Honestly, the whole
love-in with Clara

almost made me wanna do
a do-over with you and your mom.

Really? Okay.

Since we're stuck together
for all eternity,

you want a do-over,
let's do a do-over.

I'll start. Fuck you!

I'm afraid that's not
how it works here, son.

I'm just a welcoming committee.

Your forever is that way.

Good. If it means forever
getting away from your ass, sign me up.

That's it?

Yes, sir.

Um, wh... When I mentioned
my parents earlier,

-your face was...
-What about it?

Oh, nothing.
It just looked like maybe--

Look, I'm playing this game
to distract myself

from the fact I just sent
my best friends into, like, danger.

If you have a question,
just ask.

Are your parents dead, too?

Whoa.

Whoa.

My slot car?

What're you doing here,
little buddy?

Wait, that's Cliff.

Does that mean
Cliff can hear us?

It's not an exact science,

but I think it means
he's not fully dead yet.

Really?

Maybe we can reach them all.

[sighing in relief]

[whooshing]

Whoa! Wait! [yells]

[grunts]

Uh... What the fuck?

[Crystal exhales]

[exhales]

[Larry] Okay.
This tree is terrifying. Must be where we're headed.

Now we enter the afterlife.

But the price to open
the door is...pain.

You, uh, you don't
have to do that, Edwin. We can find another way in.

[Larry] I've got some pain.

I... I can afford to spare
some pain to open the door, or whatever. I'll do it.

That's nice of you.

It's just...

You see that lever?

That's my pain.

I have to pull it.

Charles never officially
crossed over when he died, and you're not actually dead.

I'm the only one
this place knows.

[sighs] I'll get to it.

I'd be a right shit
detective if I didn't.

Hold this, please.

All right.

[sighing]

[creatures screaming]

[Edwin whimpering]

[door creaking]

[breathing heavily]
Oh, yeah. Let's get to it.

[exhales]

[all singing in Spanish]

Hmm...

[gasping]

What the fuck?

I was supposed to go
to my afterlife.

[Cliff] Same.

[Edwin] The Watchers.
They mind the tunnel.

Keep the souls in place.

Right, just we'll want
to avoid them.

He's afraid of water.

-[Larry] Why?
-It's private.

You're nosy, right?

I'll make sure he's fine.

I'm not scared.

Just... You know.

We know.

All right, just so we're clear.

[Larry] I was saying
to Charles earlier,

it seems like you like
each other...a lot.

-Like, maybe
you have feelings that-- -He's my mate.

Don't be crass, all right?

Even if I did, it...

it wouldn't be normal.
It wouldn't be normal, so why talk about it?

[Larry] Sorry. I just, uh...

I used to think that.

But it is normal. Now.

I mean, it's not 1916,
you know?

Right. Well, I'm not like you.

But thanks for the concern.

[boys laughing]

[breathing heavily]

[Larry] Um,
is he about to freak out?

[Charles]
I'm brilliant. Thanks.

Died of hypothermia in a lake.

But anything for a case. Right?

That river can sod off.

There's a lad.
No worries at all.

[Larry] Um, if this is the part
where I'm a flashlight, why isn't it glowing?

That's just a prop
Crystal gave you to make you feel more comfortable.

-She's slick like that.
-She's good.

You'll just...feel her.

In theory.

-[Larry] In theory?
-Fuck it if we know, mate.

Hope you weren't
counting on us for this part.

Right. So are we
doing this or...

[Larry sighs]

[panting] You, uh...
You got that stone?

Yeah.

Your father and I used
to have this ritual that

every time we would
come up here,

I would put a rock
under this tree and he would call me crazy.

[chuckles] Did he have a point?

Maybe. But I got
a tree full of rocks.

[both laughing]

That's your path, son.

My what?

Your afterlife.

Okay, Victor.
I'm doing my best not to cry here.

So could you do us both a favor

and get your butt over there?

What did you mean
when you said Dad chose to make me into a weapon?

He said he had
no choice at all,

that this was
the only way to save me.

Victor, when you walk
down that path,

anything that happens
from here is your choice.

-Focus on that.
-Mom.

Your father chose
to make you a hero.

Was that so wrong?

[sighs]

[whooshing]

What's this?

Oh, it's nothing.
I... I was trying to...

-It's stupid.
-Trying to contact someone else?

My dad and I
used to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

every time he'd visit me.
[sighs wearily]

You could have just told me.

-Well, you're a bit intense.
-Yeah.

[chuckles]

And I haven't
spent a lot of time around other teenage girls.

So, I suppose I was nervous.

All right. Let's cut the shit
and just be cool girls.

My only friends in the world
are two dead boys,

and I'm worried about them,

but, like, only, like,
a little bit worried. I mean, they can handle themselves.

But, like, it's good
that we have each other.

Yeah. How, how
did you meet them?

I wouldn't know
where to begin with boys. [chuckles]

A demon named David
possessed me for over a year.

[sighs] I did terrible things.

Edwin and Charles,
were the ones who finally evicted him from my body.

That's how we met.

They're brave, aren't they?

[scoffs] I mean,
they've been doing this for, like, decades.

So, yeah,
I guess they are brave.

But Dorothy, we're all just
a bunch of fucked up kids

trying to hold shit together
by playing detectives.

-We've all got baggage.
-Like, with David the demon?

Yeah.

David took some things
from me on his way out.

All of the memories
of my parents.

Anything that would help me
know them or find them.

So my mission is to find David,

fuck him up and get
those memories back.

[sighs] Wow. That's a lot.

People say that
it's better to move on.

They'll say that to you
about your dad, too,

and, um, it's wise advice.

But screw those people.

Don't sit in this big house
feeling sad.

Find a way to reach your dad
if you think you can.

Dorothy, we both know
there's all kinds of

crazy shit in this world
that can happen.

[softly] Yeah.

Growing up with goals
is important.

For me, having a personal
vendetta is, like, really healthy.

[gasps]

[grunts]

Where's Rita?

[Cliff] Unclear.
Maybe she escaped.

So what the hell
are we waiting for?

Maybe she escaped?
Maybe something worse.

[Cliff] Who fucking
cares? [grunts]

We're getting
the fuck out of here. We're gonna live again.

And I'm gonna be
the best fucking grandfather the world ever saw,

so I can fuck my father
in the forehead forever for thinking

he could out-grandpappy

Cliff fucking Steele.

[metal clanging]

[Cliff] Are you shitting me?

[yells]

[breath trembling]

[Larry] [softly] Rita?

[whispers] Larry?

[Larry] Rita?

-Rita?
-Larry.

[both chuckle softly]

[Larry] I got you.

Now that's a proper hug.

-Who?
-[Larry] I'll tell you later.

Steady now. We're in for it.

-Watchers?
-Watch... What do we do?

I'm sorry.
Is that supposed to...

It's the States,
it's an American afterlife, I'm using the bat.

Okay.

Oh, thank God.

Larry? Shouldn't you be
on Jupiter or some shit?

[Larry] You know, funny,
it's not actually me. It's an astral projection.

I actually don't care.

-[Larry] Yep, yep.
-[Cliff] Okay.

Time to taxidermy this turkey.
Which way's home?

Yeah, I'm thinking
you shouldn't have done that.

Who brought judgy Harry Potter?

[woman chuckling maniacally]

[Larry] Who's that lady?

-That's no lady.
-She works for Death, and she's not here for you.

Well, look at this.
Oh, you naughty boys.

I'm so glad you've
come to your senses.

Charles. Edwin.

Almost bed checks,
so come along.

Why don't you
back the fuck up, girl,

before you get
a boot up your ass.

No, no, no, no.
That's so not how any of this works.

Not letting her anywhere
near you, Edwin. You got that?

[chuckling maliciously]

Did you find a wee toy?

I've got quite a collection
in my bag.

It's kinda my thing,
innit? [grunts]

[squelching]

[Cliff] What the fuck?

Charles. That stung.

Good for you.

[Charles yells, grunts]

Oh, shit.

We didn't come back
here to stay.

We've got too many people
who need our help,

and you can't make us.

I'm not afraid of you anymore.

So you can take
your bed check and fuck off.

[laughing maniacally]

[Monster Man] All of you, go!

Mindy.

You don't remember me.

It's okay.

Never let them see you sweat.

Get out of here.

[yelling]

She can do whatever
she bleeding wants to.

We need to get
to the river. Now.

[Cliff] Fuck that.
We fucked up those freaks

with the glow-in-the-dark
testicle thingies,

we'll fuck up that
face-like-a-spider woman, too!

Go!

-Who is that guy?
-I have no idea.

[Monster Man screaming]

[Watchers gurgling]

Uh-oh.

[shrieks]

[Cliff] Spin on this,
weird spider-face lady!

[retching]

-[Cliff] What the fuck?
-[all exclaim]

[woman groans]

[Rita] It's just vomit.

[all cheering, laughing]

[all speaking indistinctly,
muffled]

Look.

[Cliff grunting]

You know, in all
the afterlife excitement,

I never asked you about space.

Surprised you're back so soon.

[Larry] Yeah, so am I.

Let's just say
it was an experience.

But I'm back.

Minus a passenger.

Oh, Larry.

Are you okay?

[Larry] I will be.

Thank you.

Oh, hey, who was that guy
that tried to save us in the afterlife?

An old friend?

-Not a clue.
-[Larry] Huh.

Maybe he had the wrong Rita.

Maybe.

[Jane] Your dad shot a pegasus?

That's like,

worse than shooting
a unicorn by magnitudes of billions.

[Cliff] I think I need help.

I'm gonna make it out of here.

With the living.

Me too.

[computer pings]

-[Vic] I didn't ask--
-Eat.

We all need our strength.

Everybody,
I have an announcement.

I'm truly glad you're all safe,

and you're the closest thing
to a family I've ever really had--

But she's leaving.

Losers. [chuckles]

They're right. I am.
But just for a while.

I need to find a few things.

[Larry] Well, um,
we hope you find what you're looking for.

That was patently
for all of us.

Subtlety is really not
your strong suit.

[Charles] What, are you
and goggles pals now?

Guess you're
a lot alike, really.

All severe and moody
and pessimistic.

Maybe we are.
Bugger off, Charles.

[Cliff] Have fun, you kids.

Don't worry about us.
We're great.

[woman humming tune]

Um, who in the sweet
mercy of fuck are you?

Hmm, good question.

Now, who would like some tea?

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