Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:07,790
♪
2
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,468
♪
3
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,704
[entry bells chime]
4
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,924
Mmm...
5
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,013
So, what do you think
of our new neighborhood?
6
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,407
-Downtown River Creek. Ah.
-[sirens wailing in distance]
7
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,931
Got to say,
sucks on a big one, Dad.
8
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:03,324
This side of town is poor.
9
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,630
My mood is poor
because we're poor.
10
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,110
Come on!
11
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:10,113
Any moment now, I'm gonna
come up with a kick-ass idea
12
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,594
that will make us
moderately rich again.
13
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,466
So, in the meantime,
let's just roll with it.
14
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,729
Yeah, you just got to know
where to step.
15
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,862
Like... not there.
16
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,169
-Coffee shop.
-Bar.
17
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,475
-Nail shop.
-Coffee shop.
18
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,694
-Bar.
-Nail shop.
19
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,217
Thrift shop. Huh?
20
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,480
Oh, zippers on sweatpants.
21
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:30,612
Huh.
22
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,096
FREDDIE:
Kids, come into the kitchen!
23
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,883
[sizzling]
24
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,408
Cool! Fried catfish.
25
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,454
So, what's coming up
this weekend?
26
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,585
Chinese New Year.
27
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,152
Like, really new.
28
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,675
Like, an all-new animal,
29
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:53,809
not just new to the calendar
but new to the world.
30
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:56,072
No, it's your mom's birthday.
31
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,684
Come on, you guys need to have
your own ideas for presents.
32
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,556
So what are they?
33
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:04,167
Eh, physical gifts are stupid.
34
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,038
It's not like she has
a thing she collects,
35
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,344
like you have neti pots.
36
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,868
Okay, listen, I actually
hate neti pots, okay?
37
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,044
People get me one
for every special day.
38
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,438
Look, Father's Day,
Father's Day.
39
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,440
27th through 33rd birthdays.
Oh,
40
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,312
here's Christmas, Christmas,
etcetera, etcetera.
41
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:20,705
Look, I don't want your mom
to feel how these make me feel.
42
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,403
Okay? So put on
your thinking caps.
43
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,056
So, what are you gonna get her?
44
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,580
Oh, well, I'm glad you asked.
45
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,234
See, I'm-I'm very attuned
to people.
46
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,585
I notice things.
I sense what people really want.
47
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,457
Not to be a dick or anything,
but I got to say,
48
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,590
you're not a good a dad
as you think.
49
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,549
What? That's absurd.
Right, Ollie?
50
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,247
I don't know, man.
51
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,423
You care so much
what people think of you
52
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,382
that you ruin what they think
with your caring.
53
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,905
[chuckles]:
Oh, my God.
54
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,298
You guys are so wrong.
55
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,387
I am the best gift giver.
Hello.
56
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,910
And I'll prove it.
57
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,695
I'm getting her...
58
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,392
those sweatpants.
59
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,785
Which sweaty pants?
60
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,830
People look bad
in sweatpants, okay?
61
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,267
It means they gave up on life.
62
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,311
Oh, no.
63
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:03,357
A woman looks best when relaxed.
64
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,186
So I'll get her the sweatpants
and you two will come up
65
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,579
with separate, nice presents.
66
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:11,930
And save half the catfish
for your mom's lunch. Thank you.
67
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,370
[applause on TV]
68
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:19,199
Hey, Deb, you finish
that floor model yet?
69
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,810
[grunts]
Working on it, Daddie.
70
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,464
Just a few more tweaks,
71
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,858
and this floor model assembly
robot will do it for us.
72
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,339
I didn't ask for a robot
to assemble it, hon.
73
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,254
I asked you to.
74
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,343
Dad!
75
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:36,825
You are wasting
my engineering genius here.
76
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:40,089
[groaning]: I could be coming up
with kick-ass ideas
77
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:43,440
to change the world and make us
all moderately rich and shit!
78
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,529
Oh, hell.
79
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,490
Here comes the only thing me
and Freddie can agree on--
80
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:53,102
your bad news
best friend, Tonya.
81
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,190
Cool.
82
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,715
Wow.
83
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,978
The place hasn't changed
since we were kids.
84
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,807
Debbie, how about a lunch place
with drinks?
85
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,548
Say, a bar?
86
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,159
Uh, yes drinks, no to the bar.
87
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,987
Let's keep it more casual.
Keep it tenna.
88
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,162
What's tenna?
89
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,381
Like the shoe.
90
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,601
Nobody says "tennis shoes."
91
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:16,386
She's been trying to get "tenna"
going for a while.
92
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:19,346
Whatever. Deb, I heard of
a place right here, downtown,
93
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:24,089
with double, uh, deep-fried,
uh, taco, uh, hot dogs.
94
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,178
Debbie is in!
95
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,313
Debbie is not in!
96
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,880
Aw.
97
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,317
All this dumb trucks
are blocking my parking
98
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,753
and stealing my business.
99
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,189
Do something, horse cop.
100
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,235
Ma'am, I'm on my lunch break.
101
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,716
So if you can hold that
complaint for ten minutes,
102
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,326
I can eat my food.
103
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,285
TONYA:
Ugh.
104
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:46,764
Sorry about this, babe.
105
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,766
Let's just... [groans]
let's just do this.
106
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,768
TONYA:
Tick, tock.
107
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,205
-DEBBIE: [groans] Come on!
-TONYA: Tick, tock. Tick...
108
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,512
This here
is the pickup line, gals.
109
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,297
Oh, shit.
Okay, this one, this one.
110
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,342
[Debbie groans]
111
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,520
-Move, move, move, move, move.
-[groans]
112
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,174
Finally. All right, all right,
all right. Here we go.
113
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,610
Um, I'll have the...
114
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:08,656
FYI, we're out of
our signature dish
115
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,092
that we should know
everyone wants:
116
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,441
the double deep-fried taco
hot dogs.
117
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,270
-We're out of that. Go!
-Okay, uh...
118
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,881
Just put ten dollars of bacon
on a bun, okay?
119
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,014
And then throw in some cheese
in a burger patty.
120
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,145
And four beers.
121
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,887
No alcohol in food truck land.
Go!
122
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,454
-Oh! Oh.
-Oh, gosh. Oh, God. Oh, god.
123
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,021
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-[Tonya groans]
124
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:29,372
The irritation and,
like, impossibility are
125
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,853
what makes it so fun.
126
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,376
[chuckles]
So street.
127
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,682
Ugh.
128
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,727
Street food culture
is a great way
129
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,729
to get back in touch
with our places.
130
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,558
I really like seeing people
learning to eat again,
131
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,299
city style.
132
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,303
A carne asada taco is
a great way to connect with...
133
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,219
Shut the fuck up.
134
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,960
What the F is wrong with you?
135
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,441
Why can't you just relax
and enjoy this super cool,
136
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:57,182
fun experience, this perk
of living on the north side?
137
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,488
Just be cool.
138
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:02,405
Don't activate me, Jame.
139
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,538
I'm covered in food
in the hot sun--
140
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,278
no awnings in sight--
141
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,411
sitting in a parking lot
with a bush in my back
142
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,891
and a homeless man
stealing my napkin
143
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,110
so he can wipe his ass.
144
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,416
No, it's fine.
Go ahead.
145
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,419
And you want to know
the worst part?
146
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,813
-No drinks.
-No drinks!
147
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,642
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
148
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,340
Tonya, I see...
149
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,517
a demand that ain't
being supplied.
150
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,432
[chuckles]
151
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,395
[entry bells chime]
152
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,049
Uh, yeah, excuse me.
153
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,921
Yesterday, there were some
sweatpants in the window.
154
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:42,576
Uh, tenna pants.
You know, casual attire.
155
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:45,492
Another woman just purchased
them, right there.
156
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,450
♪
157
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:49,844
Oh, come on, honey.
I'm-I'm late for work.
158
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,019
[entry bells chime]
159
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,760
-E-Excuse me, lady.
-Yes?
160
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:54,675
Look, I-I must get
those pants off you.
161
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,678
No! I-I'm sorry. Uh, from you.
[chuckles]
162
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,462
Oh, these tenna pants?
163
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,421
Exactly. Yes.
164
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,118
I'll give you more money
than you paid for them.
165
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,728
No, I'm sorry.
166
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,904
I feel I look my best
when I'm relaxed,
167
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,602
and these will relax me.
168
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,168
Wait, wait, wait.
I'll trade services for them.
169
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,040
Uh, l-let me service you.
170
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,911
I'll-I'll wash your dog
or your kids or your car
171
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:17,349
or-or you. Wh-Whatever.
I just-I just need those pants.
172
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:20,222
Dude, this is not tenna.
173
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,444
Okay, nicely played,
sweatpants lady.
174
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,576
Seems like I may need
to pay a little visit
175
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:29,100
to the Bespectacled Dentist.
176
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,496
I can't believe
we got to find mom a gift.
177
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,846
We areher gift, right?
178
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,195
Look at us.
179
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,980
Besides, I'm not
seeing anything good
180
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,808
in any of Aunt Maggie's
cursed stuff.
181
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:43,506
This charming stuff
ain't cursed.
182
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:47,292
"Cursed Dybbuk Box."
183
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:48,990
Hmm. See?
184
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,426
Cute box.
185
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,036
Look, a string of baby teeth.
186
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,212
But she didn't have any kids.
187
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,258
That's sexist of you, Todd.
188
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,869
A woman doesn't
need to have the babies
189
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,176
to wear baby teeth
around her neck.
190
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,221
Man, I don't know what to do.
191
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,614
What are you gonna get Mom?
192
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,747
When I know, I'll know,
you know?
193
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,751
I'm eating Mom's catfish.
194
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,103
Tonya!
195
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,714
We can make so much money
off this thing.
196
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,542
We will get moderately rich.
197
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,196
And it was a steal.
198
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:24,808
Well, I dated the previous
owner, the ice cream man.
199
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,244
He owed me.
200
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,985
He told me he had a Popsicle,
201
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,379
but it was more
like a Dippin' Dot.
202
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,210
Mmm! [slurping]
Mmm!
203
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:37,342
[humming a tune]
204
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:41,390
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Mmm! Mmm, mmm, mmm.
205
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,261
[grunting]
206
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,008
Whew!
207
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,319
Ah. Oh!
208
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,364
[grunts]
Brain freeze!
209
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:02,106
Oh, I drank it all so fast,
210
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,891
like Sonic the Huge Hog.
211
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,197
I could drink a gallon of that.
212
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,591
Oh, yeah? Prove it.
213
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,375
FREDDIE:
No, no, no, no, look,
214
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,768
I've checked eBay.
215
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,422
You guys are the manufacturer
of the sweatpants,
216
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,772
so just tell me
what to do next, please.
217
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,208
Look, man.
218
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,167
We had to discontinue
our entire line of clothing
219
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,821
due to a huge fire
at our garment factory
220
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,126
in Bangladesh.
221
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,519
Lots of people died.
222
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,043
Oh, this is a terrible tragedy.
223
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,916
A-And, you know, I'm sorry
to hear about whatever it was
224
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,352
that happened to you guys, too.
225
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,704
Oof! Oh, where's
this perfect gift, my man?
226
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,880
Oh, it's coming, buddy.
Uh, yeah.
227
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,186
They've just become, you know,
228
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,405
like, an even cooler
challenge for me, so...
229
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,798
Let's make this interesting.
230
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,495
If you don't get
those sweatpants
231
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,107
then we don't have to come up
with a gift idea for Mom
232
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:49,023
and we all get her gift cards
to Sonic with your cash.
233
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,851
Oh, I'll take that deal.
234
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:54,419
Now, which outfit says
"dental patient"?
235
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,430
Okay, Mister...
236
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:06,997
Jeremy Spoken.
237
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,434
Uh, let's see,
wh-what's your problem?
238
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:10,914
Eh, just a cleaning
and checkup.
239
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:14,657
Hey, look, we both like wacky,
colorful frames.
240
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,006
-[chuckles]
-Yes, yes. Yes.
241
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,573
O-O-Open wide, please.
242
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,489
But you're very
professional-looking, otherwise.
243
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:21,882
[slurps saliva]
244
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:22,665
Not like you're wearing
sweatpants or anything.
245
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,277
Do you like sweatpants
on people?
246
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,279
Oh, I-I don't know.
247
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,672
Spit, please.
248
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,718
Yeah, tell me about it.
249
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,850
Women look like dog shit
in sweatpants.
250
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,939
Don't you think sweatpants
are an undesirable thing
251
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,767
for women to wear?
I mean... [chuckles]
252
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,988
It does kind of rub me the wrong
way, now that you mention it.
253
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,598
Right!
254
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,818
Yeah, guys like us
in cool glasses like ours--
255
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:48,082
we'd never want to have sex
with a sweatpants lady.
256
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,084
I'd be in flaccid city,
wouldn't you?
257
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,782
Flaccid city.
Oh, yes.
258
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:56,394
I have spent some nights there,
let me tell you.
259
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,919
Sadly, I have.
260
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,661
Man, if my wife
got sweatpants...
261
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:04,751
[scoffs] I'd throw them
in the trash. Like, tonight.
262
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:08,189
Which is your
trash night, y-yeah?
263
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,934
♪
264
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:19,113
DEBBIE:
Come get your day-drunk on!
265
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:22,638
Margaritas, piña coladas,
frozens and straights.
266
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,987
Let's go!
267
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,294
Hey, that truck
ain't street legal.
268
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,905
You need a license
to sell food or drink,
269
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,733
and you can't sell alcohol.
270
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,821
So, what-- you don't want one?
271
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,736
No, no, I...
272
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,043
-I want one.
-And give me a double.
273
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,263
Here you go. Yep.
274
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,831
Yep. Mm-hmm.
Good. Yes.
275
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,746
Yes, yes.
Next. Next.
276
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,313
Next.
277
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,097
[horse whinnies]
278
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,188
Ooh-ooh, uh-oh, time-out.
[chuckles]
279
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,234
Y'all got a license
to sling drink?
280
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,279
Oh, shit.
The fuzz!
281
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,064
Whoa!
282
00:11:57,107 --> 00:12:00,067
ooh, hot damn, horsey.
283
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,591
We got ourselves
a challenge in town.
284
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:03,940
Giddyup.
285
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,640
[grunting]
286
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,381
Hyah!
287
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,382
[exhales]
288
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:14,168
Look at all this cash!
289
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:17,084
Here's how you back
onto the south side.
290
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:21,305
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but we just outran the cops.
291
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,220
Maybe I went too far
with this one.
292
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:24,787
Oh, bullshit.
293
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,094
That was exactly
what I Wanted to happen.
294
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,704
It was fun.
295
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,532
Remember having fun?
296
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,273
Since you moved out here
to the north side,
297
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,709
you're so serious.
298
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,756
You're all like,
"I lost my great job.
299
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,410
"My great house.
My family is sad.
300
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,804
Boo-hoo!" Fuck that.
301
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:45,286
You are only once.
302
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,854
Only once what?
303
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,725
You.
304
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,904
[trash rattling]
305
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,385
Where are those
sweatpants, damn it?
306
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,561
Did he not follow
my subtle manipulations?
307
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,606
-What happened?
-[crying]
308
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,391
No, you listen to me!
309
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,871
I want a divorce!
310
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,438
Well, if that's
how you feel about it...
311
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,402
Oh, you better not get
nacho cheese on those pants
312
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,012
before Debbie has the chance to.
313
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,144
Shit!
314
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,104
Hey.
315
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,671
Oh, ho, ho.
316
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:25,456
Hey, let's go to "lunch"
again, huh?
317
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,110
I don't know, man.
318
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,939
I mean, we drew some serious
heat on that last run.
319
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:33,508
Yes, but this time
they won't be chasing us.
320
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,989
[chuckles]
321
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,120
[whistles]
322
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,426
Nice.
323
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,689
But I can't be Zorro.
I'm white.
324
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,604
Bitch, this one's mine.
325
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:45,302
I got one for you, too,
so we can both be vigilantes.
326
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,392
♪
327
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,135
Marg time!
328
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:53,876
It's marg time!
[chuckles]
329
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,141
-[slurping]
-Hey.
330
00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,665
You drive next
so I can drink, okay?
331
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,059
♪
332
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,585
Shit, Gwen. [grunts]
She's in AA,
333
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,805
so she's got a short fuse.
Watch it.
334
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,373
Listen.
I'm on your side.
335
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,157
I hate the stupid-ass
food trucks.
336
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,812
Your marg truck has got the cops
on their toes about permits,
337
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,814
and now the trucks
are all gone from my business.
338
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,903
So keep on keeping on.
339
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:22,862
♪
340
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,736
[printer whirring]
341
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,477
Come on, do you think
people are stupid?
342
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,827
Just the people
who I need to be.
343
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,705
[muttering]
344
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,536
Dang.
345
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,060
I think you started
this adventure
346
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,976
to make money for your family
or something, right?
347
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:53,109
Yes. Yes...
348
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:55,459
I think so.
Yes, that's foggy, but true.
349
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,461
Well, um...
350
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,986
we've been using
top-shelf shit,
351
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,510
and between our drinks and cost,
352
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,816
we have lost more money
than we've made.
353
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,122
Seems bad.
354
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,168
No biggie, big piggie.
355
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,647
I got plans.
356
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,870
Why do you have a Freud costume?
357
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,439
Ah, it was a phase your mother
and I had for a bit there.
358
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,788
Thanks for that
traumatic visual,
359
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,485
but this isn't gonna work,
360
00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:23,923
so we should probably go ahead
and get those Sonic gift cards.
361
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,447
-[rings]
-Oh, really, Todd?
362
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:30,407
Hello, Dr. Brainald Mentalson,
MD, BBV, BVDs.
363
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:33,062
Hi, I'd like to schedule
for next week
364
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,934
for the in-house consultation.
365
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,674
A week? Huh.
366
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:38,024
Well, let me see.
367
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,200
Well, my prognostication is
368
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,116
we should probably schedule
a session in five minutes?
369
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:45,640
You're probably right.
370
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,556
Yes, yes, let's do it.
Thank you.
371
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,646
Oh, you kids better have
some sweet gifts lined up,
372
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:54,040
'cause I'm about to dunk on you
with my perfect gift.
373
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:56,129
[laughs]
374
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,786
Cheap Canadian tequila?
375
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,702
-Huh.
-Mm... [grunts]
376
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:05,790
You sure?
377
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,227
Cocksure.
378
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:09,577
♪
379
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,492
Man, this sucks sober.
380
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,885
Why are there
drunk driving laws anyway?
381
00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:15,104
-Whoa!
-[tires screech]
382
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,758
Yeah, I'll have a double swirl
383
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,455
with a rider of cherry liqueur.
384
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,153
Again. Please.
385
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,459
Five dollars.
386
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,721
Here you go.
387
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,462
And drunk driving laws are good.
388
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,335
People drive shittier
when they are drunk.
389
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,945
I don't know.
390
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,991
Seems to paint everyone
with the same brush.
391
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,601
-Hold on, hold on, hold on!
-[tires screech]
392
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,777
Juniper! What do you want?
393
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,606
Cruelty-free margarita.
Extra lime.
394
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,303
Four...
395
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,783
[grunts] dollars.
396
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:42,958
Here you go.
397
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,265
-[engine starts]
-Oh, my guts.
398
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,788
♪
399
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,181
Oh, yes.
400
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,660
-[stomach rumbling]
-Oh, oh, oh, no!
401
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,229
Oh, oh, oh!
402
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,665
[muffled grunting]
403
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:58,452
[grunts]
404
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,759
[groaning]
405
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,935
Ah, that burns! Ugh.
406
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,852
FREDDIE:
Okay, the first thing we got to do here is
407
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,290
get rid of any relics
of depression, right.
408
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,771
The ice cream, the nachos,
the photos of the husband,
409
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,991
and especially those sweatpants.
410
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,211
I can't let go of the past.
411
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:21,344
The thought of a new life
is too frightening.
412
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,564
We've been married
for so long.
413
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,131
Well, you know,
people are very unpredictable.
414
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,003
So I say be ready
to get rid of anything--
415
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:32,268
husbands, ice cream,
clothes, sweatpants.
416
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,792
That makes sense.
417
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:37,273
-Shed that past!
-Yes!
418
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:40,015
Yes, be just you.
Shed the husband.
419
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,496
-Yes!
-Shed the sweatpants.
420
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:46,108
-Yes!
-Yes! They are mine!
421
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,284
Yeah...
What are you doing?
422
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:50,199
Ah, I'm just so proud of you.
423
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,896
Hurrah!
424
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,203
Wait. I know you.
425
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:55,987
You're the guy from the store.
426
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,076
Give me my pants.
427
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,121
[both grunting]
428
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,517
Okay, I made a huge mistake.
429
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,954
I apologize.
Please let me...
430
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,312
-Hey, wait a minute.
-No, no, no, look.
431
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,227
Let's just keep this all tenna.
432
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,881
Susan!
433
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:23,711
Why do you have your P-A-N-T-S
off with this guy?
434
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,453
Are you back on the market
that fast?
435
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:27,584
He's the guy who tried to get
436
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,412
my tenna pants
the first day. He...
437
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,153
Okay, look, real truth now.
438
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,155
I'm Hitch, the romance doctor,
439
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,157
a-and I'm here
to fix your relationship.
440
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,506
Guess what, guys?
441
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,117
All this was planned.
442
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,250
Listen, here's
a hundred dollars.
443
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:46,299
Aw, Mom and Dad
got the best room.
444
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,431
I bet Dad has some gifts
he's saving to give Mom
445
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,259
for, like, the next 45 years.
446
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,566
We can just snake one
and write our names on it.
447
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:56,004
Dad said we should be
more attuned to who she is.
448
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,007
Maybe we can absorb some info
about her from her things,
449
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,878
from her clothes.
450
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:01,966
Hey, what's that?
451
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,187
Baby books?
452
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,189
I didn't know
Mom was doing this.
453
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,409
♪
454
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,680
Look! All our old art
is in here, too,
455
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,377
in this big tub.
456
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,292
She, like, likes us.
457
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,907
[laughs]
458
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,300
"My whore family."
459
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,432
[chuckles]
460
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,782
See?
You used to be more fun.
461
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:35,957
Man...
[sniffles]
462
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,785
I got to
think of something fast.
463
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,917
Yeah, I'll wing it
in the moment.
464
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,832
Please don't
drop the ball here, Ollie.
465
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:42,920
Dad was right.
466
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,793
She really is a sweet woman.
467
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,361
Watch me chug this shit, bitch!
468
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:53,104
Ooh, y'all.
Uh-uh.
469
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,584
This is Baldwin.
470
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,543
-Gonna need backup. Hot damn!
-[siren wailing]
471
00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:58,240
[laughing]
472
00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,894
You better hold on to something.
473
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,766
-[tires squeal]
-[Debbie shouts]
474
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,115
[horns honking]
475
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,769
DEBBIE:
Oh, oh, oh, man!
476
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,641
Oh, that cheap tequila.
477
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,643
I got to shit!
Tonya, fast!
478
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:12,515
I can't stop
or we'll get arrested.
479
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,356
Let's do a Thelma & Louise.
480
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,880
Huh? I hate this world.
481
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,186
Let's do it, baby.
482
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,363
-Let's go.
-Yes! No!
483
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,496
Wait, no. What?
What am I saying?
484
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,062
No, Tonya, I got kids.
485
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:40,413
And I love my husband
and his dick.
486
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:43,633
Oh, his dick!
He loves me so good.
487
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:47,333
Oh, I can't.
No. Nope. Can't.
488
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,248
Whoa!
489
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:57,168
♪
490
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,170
Aah...!
491
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:01,303
[grunting]
492
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,349
[tires screeching]
493
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,266
Whew. Ah.
494
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:08,876
Ha. Whew.
495
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,051
Shit, I'd do it again.
496
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,445
Oh.
All right.
497
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:15,926
I feel pretty great.
Besides needing
498
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,885
-to shit my whole body out.
-[stomach rumbling]
499
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,713
Wait...
500
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,497
Where's the money?
501
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:24,283
The money's in the truck.
502
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:26,372
[groaning]
503
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:30,158
I can't believe you're gonna
let your mom down here, Ollie.
504
00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,769
-The night's still young.
-[door opens, closes]
505
00:21:32,813 --> 00:21:35,946
-[groaning]
-HARPERS: Happy birthday!
506
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:37,948
What? It's my what?
507
00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:40,647
Oh, shit.
Happy birthday.
508
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:41,996
[chuckles]
509
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:43,389
You're getting older.
510
00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:44,781
You're drying up, baby.
511
00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,696
You're gonna have
a sloughed-off snakeskin
512
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,176
for a cooch pretty soon.
513
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,395
[laughs]
514
00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:52,659
Presents. Now.
515
00:21:52,702 --> 00:21:54,138
Hon, that's-that's great.
It's all great.
516
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:55,966
-I just... I got to...
-Here you go, Mom.
517
00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:58,360
-I love you.
-Aw!
518
00:21:58,404 --> 00:22:00,971
[straining]:
Very sweet, babe.
519
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:03,060
Okay, okay, okay,
I got to look at it
520
00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:05,367
-a little later after I...
-Now mine!
521
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:08,152
[grunting]
522
00:22:08,196 --> 00:22:10,198
The sweatpants you wanted!
523
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,373
Ta-da!
524
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:13,244
I... wanted these?
525
00:22:13,288 --> 00:22:15,377
Yes!
Yes, you damn well did.
526
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,118
Come on.
Don't you remember?
527
00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:19,120
L-Let... Come on,
let's try them on right away.
528
00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:20,556
Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
529
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,124
[groaning, hissing]
530
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:25,387
Babe, babe, I will.
531
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:28,521
But seriously, look at me.
Look at me.
532
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:30,871
-[rumbling]
-I need to... [groans]
533
00:22:30,914 --> 00:22:33,221
[grunting]
534
00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:35,310
[hissing, groaning]
535
00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:40,924
[stomach gurgles]
536
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,404
-Oh!
-Oh.
537
00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:44,363
My pants.
538
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:46,756
Here comes exactly
what you need:
539
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,194
diarrhea meds crushed
into a Pepto cocktail
540
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:53,372
with a side baggy of all your
catfish that I hid from Todd
541
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:55,417
but forgot about
until just right now.
542
00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,419
Ollie! Baby!
543
00:22:57,463 --> 00:23:00,074
You always know
exactly what to get me.
544
00:23:00,117 --> 00:23:02,816
Aw.
This is the perfect gift.
545
00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:05,253
Dear, oh, dear.
546
00:23:05,296 --> 00:23:07,429
What am I gonna
do with you, Biggun?
547
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:10,432
Aw, let's get you upstairs
in your shower.
548
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:13,392
I think there's still half
an iced coffee in there for you.
549
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,612
It's the thought
that counts, babe.
550
00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:17,744
Love you.
551
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:22,313
Just goes to show you, boys.
552
00:23:22,357 --> 00:23:25,621
Takes a woman
to understand a woman.
553
00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:09,404
Chirp.
554
00:24:09,454 --> 00:24:14,004
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38079
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
