All language subtitles for The Game s06e16 A Swan Song for Rick and Tasha.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,903 KNOW WHEN YOU'REAT THE FERRARI DEALERSHIP 2 00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:08,026 AND THEY'RE, LIKE, "SIR, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT TWO WEEKS 3 00:00:08,034 --> 00:00:08,974 FOR A CANARY YELLOW." 4 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,205 MAN, IF I WANTED TO WAIT TWO WEEKS, 5 00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:11,306 I'D HAVE GOT A LEXUS. 6 00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:13,340 WAIT, HOLD FOR APPLAUSE. 7 00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:15,004 - WHAT YOU DOIN', PRETTY RICKY? 8 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,690 - OH, JUST PRACTICING FOR OPEN MIC AT THE COMEDY CLUB. 9 00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:19,169 - WHAT? OPEN MIC? 10 00:00:19,172 --> 00:00:20,722 [laughs] THAT'S CRAZY. 11 00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:22,344 WHAT IF YOU REALLY DID THAT? 12 00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:24,624 YOUR BIG ASS SITTING UP THERE TELLING JOKES. 13 00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:26,000 [laughs] THAT'S INSANE. 14 00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:31,380 OH. YOU'RE SERIOUS. YOU WASN'T BEING FUNNY? 15 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,829 - NO, OF COURSE NOT. 16 00:00:32,827 --> 00:00:34,587 THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT MY COMEDY, TASHA. 17 00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:36,066 - OH. OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 18 00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:37,208 HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 19 00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:40,026 OKAY, SO THIS IS, LIKE, YOUR IMAGINARY AUDIENCE. 20 00:00:40,034 --> 00:00:41,004 - OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 21 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,720 OVER HERE, I GOT DAVID HASSELHOFF. 22 00:00:42,724 --> 00:00:43,904 - OH, OKAY. 23 00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:45,376 - AND THEN OVER HERE, WE GOT EDDIE MURPHY. 24 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,479 AND THEN, OF COURSE, 25 00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:48,072 RIGHT IN THE CENTER IS BARACK AND MICHELLE. 26 00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:49,338 - OH, OKAY. 27 00:00:49,344 --> 00:00:51,174 OKAY, LOOK, NOW SEE LITTLE MALIA AND LITTLE SASHA. 28 00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:52,692 - NO, NO, THEY CAN'T BE THERE. 29 00:00:52,689 --> 00:00:54,719 I'M ABOUT TO TELL THIS JOKE ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON'S ASS. 30 00:00:54,724 --> 00:00:55,834 SHE GOT A NICE ONE. 31 00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:57,207 - [laughs] THAT'S FUNNY. 32 00:00:57,206 --> 00:00:59,136 - YEAH--HEY, YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME MORE OF MY STUFF? 33 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:02,067 - YEAH, SURE. - OKAY, COOL. 34 00:01:02,068 --> 00:01:03,548 ALL RIGHT. MIC CHECK, MIC CHECK. 35 00:01:03,551 --> 00:01:04,831 - [laughs] 36 00:01:04,827 --> 00:01:06,587 - YO, HASSELHOFF, COME ON, BUDDY--MAN, SIT DOWN. 37 00:01:06,586 --> 00:01:07,656 WE GET IT, YOU HAD A COOL CAR. 38 00:01:07,655 --> 00:01:09,165 [laughs] 39 00:01:09,172 --> 00:01:10,412 SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT 40 00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:14,623 A BASKETBALL PLAYER TOGETHER WITH A BABY? 41 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:16,380 DOUBLE DRIBBLE. 42 00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:18,689 [laughs] GET IT? 43 00:01:18,689 --> 00:01:20,829 'CAUSE BASKETBALL PLAYERS DRIBBLE AND BABIES DRIBBLE, 44 00:01:20,827 --> 00:01:22,687 SO YOU PUT THE TWO TOGETHER... 45 00:01:22,689 --> 00:01:24,759 - YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME MORNING SEX? 46 00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:28,238 - MM, OKAY. 47 00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:34,344 [aggressive rock music] 48 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,314 ♪ 49 00:01:42,517 --> 00:01:43,517 - MORNING, SUNSHINE. 50 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:44,447 - OH! 51 00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:45,588 [gasps] GIRL-- 52 00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:46,586 - [chuckles] 53 00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:47,786 - I FORGOT YOUR ASS WAS HERE. 54 00:01:47,793 --> 00:01:49,283 - CLEARLY, 'CAUSE ALL I'VE BEEN HEARING 55 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,375 FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS 56 00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:52,409 IS YOUR HIGH-PITCHED MOANING AND GROANING. 57 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:56,383 OH! MOUNT ME LIKE A PONY, BABY! 58 00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:58,239 - GIRL, THAT WASN'T ME. THAT WAS RICK. 59 00:01:58,241 --> 00:02:00,661 - OH. MY BAD. TASHA, I'M SORRY. 60 00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:01,825 I CERTAINLY DIDN'T MEAN 61 00:02:01,827 --> 00:02:04,067 TO INFRINGE ON YOUR HONEYMOON PHASE. 62 00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:05,408 - [scoffs] CHILD, PLEASE. 63 00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:06,833 WHAT HONEYMOON? 64 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,207 GIRL, RICK'S BEEN SOUL-SEARCHING, OKAY? 65 00:02:09,205 --> 00:02:10,855 HE'S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE'S GONNA DO 66 00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:11,792 FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. 67 00:02:11,793 --> 00:02:12,973 NOW HE'S GOT THIS CRAZY-ASS IDEA 68 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,205 THAT HE WANTS TO PARLAY HIS HUMOR 69 00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,966 INTO A DAMN COMEDY CAREER. 70 00:02:15,965 --> 00:02:17,335 - IS HE FUNNY? 71 00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:20,174 - WELL, I MEAN, NOT THE WAY YOU WOULD THINK. 72 00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:22,972 HE'S FUNNY LIKE A FALSE-POSITIVE HIV TEST. 73 00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:24,305 - OH. 74 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,860 - I'M STARTING TO THINK I CHOSE WRONG. 75 00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:27,722 - STOP IT. 76 00:02:27,724 --> 00:02:29,214 YOU DUMPED POOKIE FOR HIM. 77 00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:30,546 YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE. 78 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,901 YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP SHIP 'CAUSE YOU'RE UNHAPPY. 79 00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,656 THAT'S NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK. 80 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,405 - OH, OH, THIS IS COMING FROM THE SAME GIRL 81 00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:37,593 WHO JUMPED OFF OF JASON'S DINGHY 82 00:02:37,586 --> 00:02:38,996 AND THEN SWAM ON OVER TO MY CRUISE SHIP, 83 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,140 THE S.S. TASHA MACKEREL. 84 00:02:41,137 --> 00:02:42,657 - OKAY, THIS IS DIFFERENT. 85 00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:45,135 I COULDN'T SIT AROUND AND WATCH JASON KILL HIMSELF. 86 00:02:45,137 --> 00:02:48,407 BUT YOU CAN SIT AROUND AND LISTEN TO A COUPLE OF BAD JOKES. 87 00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:50,283 - YOU AIN'T HEARD HIS JOKES. 88 00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:52,475 - WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE A LITTLE BIT MORE SUPPORTIVE. 89 00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:54,312 I MEAN, HE MIGHT SURPRISE YOU. 90 00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:56,340 WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO BE A LITTLE BIT MORE POSITIVE? 91 00:02:56,344 --> 00:03:00,694 KIND OF LIKE THAT FALSE HIV TEST OF YOURS. 92 00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:01,689 [laughs] 93 00:03:01,689 --> 00:03:02,689 - OKAY. 94 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:03,859 - WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 95 00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:05,692 - TO POUR MYSELF ANOTHER SCALDING CUP OF COFFEE 96 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:07,999 SO I CAN JUAN VALDEZ YOUR ASS. 97 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,210 [football audience cheering] 98 00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,926 - BRYCE WESTBROOK CATCHES THE BALL AT THE 50. 99 00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:11,901 - NICE. 100 00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:13,206 - OUTRUNS THE SECONDARY IN THE 40, 101 00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:14,096 CONTINUES DOWN TO THE 30, 102 00:03:14,103 --> 00:03:15,383 THE 20-- 103 00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:16,859 - UH, SO WHEN MARIE CLAIRE READERS HEARD 104 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,622 WE WERE DOING A "DAY IN THE LIFE" FEATURE ON YOU, 105 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:21,550 THEY WENT BANANAS AND SENT IN, LIKE, A BAZILLION QUESTIONS. 106 00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:22,551 - [giggles] 107 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:24,861 - SO THIS READER, FORMERELMOFAN24, 108 00:03:24,862 --> 00:03:28,002 WANTS YOU TO TAKE US THROUGH YOUR TYPICAL MORNING ROUTINE. 109 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:28,930 - OH, WELL-- 110 00:03:28,931 --> 00:03:30,171 [clears throat] 111 00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:32,692 RECENTLY I'VE BEEN WAKING UP EARLY TO DO YOGA. 112 00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:33,899 - MM. 113 00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:35,446 - I BELIEVE, YOU KNOW, THE MIND AND THE BODY 114 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,758 SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE TEMPLES. 115 00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:39,168 - AREN'T THOSE CHILI FRIES? 116 00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:42,592 - UH, YEAH, WELL, THE TEMPLE'S CLOSED TODAY 117 00:03:42,586 --> 00:03:43,786 ON ACCOUNT OF THE GAME. 118 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:45,453 IT'S, LIKE, A HOLIDAY FOR MY BODY. 119 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:46,858 - IRONICALLY, YOUR RITUAL SOUNDS LIKE 120 00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,412 IT MIGHT BE INFLUENCED BY YOUR NEW BOO. 121 00:03:48,413 --> 00:03:51,413 WESTBROOK'S BEEN KNOWN TO LEAD A VERY HEALTHY, ZEN LIFESTYLE. 122 00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,243 - YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT COUPLES, 123 00:03:53,241 --> 00:03:55,281 AFTER A WHILE, THEY START TO ACT AND LOOK ALIKE. 124 00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:57,135 - HAVEN'T YOU ONLY BEEN TOGETHER A WEEK? 125 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,477 - UH, WELL, NO. 126 00:03:58,482 --> 00:04:00,282 IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN A LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN THAT, 127 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:01,995 BUT WE JUST ANNOUNCED IT PUBLICLY A WEEK AGO. 128 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,720 - BUT YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD WE'RE ON THIS SUBJECT 129 00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:05,594 BECAUSE A LOT OF OUR READERS WANT TO KNOW MORE 130 00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:09,236 ABOUT THIS HOT NEW CELEBRITY COUPLE, "BLEIRA." 131 00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,241 - [laughs] 132 00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:12,141 YEAH, WE WERE GONNA GO WITH "KLUE" 133 00:04:12,137 --> 00:04:15,207 BUT FIGURED WE WERE LEAVING OURSELVES OPEN FOR JOKES. 134 00:04:15,206 --> 00:04:16,646 I MEAN, EVEN IF YOU LOVE ALLITERATION, 135 00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:17,724 YOU HAVE TO GO A LONG WAY 136 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,004 TO COME UP WITH A PUN FOR "BLEIRA." 137 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,480 - "BLEIRA, BLEIRA, ON THE WALL, 138 00:04:21,482 --> 00:04:24,722 WHO'S THE MOST SELF-ABSORBED COUPLE OF THEM ALL?" 139 00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,864 - OH, MAYBE WE WERE WRONG. 140 00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:28,832 - SO HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA DO TONIGHT? 141 00:04:28,827 --> 00:04:30,027 - UH, WELL, GREAT. 142 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:32,074 I MEAN, HE HAS HIS GOOD LUCK CHARM. 143 00:04:32,068 --> 00:04:34,028 - WHAT'S THAT? DIRTY SOCK? 144 00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:36,074 OLD JOCK STRAP? RATTY PAIR OF BOXERS? 145 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,718 - NO. ME. 146 00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:38,864 [football audience cheering] 147 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,142 - BREAKS INSIDE... 148 00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:42,897 AND DROPS THE WIDE OPEN UNCONTESTED PASS FROM WRIGHT. 149 00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:43,996 A LOOK OF UTTER DISGUST 150 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,590 IS WRITTEN ALL OVER WESTBROOK'S FACE. 151 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,066 [football audience boos] 152 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,028 I GUESS HE DIDN'T HAVE HIS GOOD LUCK CHARM WITH HIM TODAY. 153 00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:50,034 - YIKES. 154 00:04:50,034 --> 00:04:51,344 - THAT BALL WAS TOO EASY TO HANDLE. 155 00:04:51,344 --> 00:04:52,484 - I GUESS YOU DIDN'T VISUALIZE 156 00:04:52,482 --> 00:04:54,382 THAT WHEN YOU WERE MEDITATING THIS MORNING. 157 00:05:00,827 --> 00:05:03,097 - ANDHAS BEEN TAKEN OUT ON JASON PITTS. 158 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,593 - NOW HIS COMEBACK MAKES SENSE, 159 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,716 'CAUSE HE'S GONNA DIE ON THE FIELD THIS SEASON. 160 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:07,724 - [laughs] 161 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,524 LET'S GET TO THE BIG STORY. 162 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,167 - SO TODAY THE SABERS ENDURED ANOTHER DEVASTATING LOSS, 163 00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:13,592 AND APPARENTLY THE FANS ARE BLAMING 164 00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:15,136 WESTBROOK'S NEW LOVE INTEREST, 165 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:17,927 THE FORMER TEEN STAR KEIRA WHITAKER. 166 00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:19,141 - OUCH! 167 00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:21,167 SOMEBODY PLEASE UN-INVITE THIS CHICK TO THE GAMES! 168 00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:22,552 - YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE KEIRA WHITAKER 169 00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:24,721 JOINS THE RANKS OF OTHER CURSED CUTIES. 170 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:29,004 JESSICA SIMPSON, GISELLE BUNDCHEN, EVELYN LOZADA. 171 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,000 AND VIRTUALLY EVERY FEMALE REALITY STAR ON VH1. 172 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,550 - HEY, NO OFFENSE, LADIES. 173 00:05:33,551 --> 00:05:35,411 YOU STILL LOOK HOT IN THEIR JERSEYS. 174 00:05:35,413 --> 00:05:36,933 - [growls] OH, MY GOD! 175 00:05:36,931 --> 00:05:38,971 - HEY, HEY, HEY! JUST IGNORE IT. 176 00:05:38,965 --> 00:05:40,825 - HOW CAN I IGNORE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HATING ON US? 177 00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:42,067 INSTEAD OF CALLING US, "BLEIRA," 178 00:05:42,068 --> 00:05:43,658 THEY'RE CALLING US, "BLAH." 179 00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:45,545 - BABE, PEOPLE WILL GRASP ONTO ANYTHING 180 00:05:45,551 --> 00:05:47,521 TO MAKE SENSE OF A LOSS. 181 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:49,237 DON'T LET THEM SUCK YOU IN. 182 00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:50,831 HEY, COME HERE. 183 00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:52,897 COME ON, COME ON. 184 00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:54,896 AW, BOO-HOO. 185 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,276 [chuckles] 186 00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,445 LOOK, THIS IS SOME SUPERSTITIOUS CRAP 187 00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:02,858 THAT WILL BLOW OVER AS SOON AS WE WIN OUR NEXT GAME. 188 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,862 AND YOU'LL GO RIGHT BACK TO BEING IN THE STANDS 189 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:08,522 AND EATING YOUR CHILI CHEESE FRIES. 190 00:06:08,517 --> 00:06:13,097 AND WE'LL GO BACK TO BEING, "BLEIRA," YOU'LL SEE. 191 00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:14,863 - ACTUALLY I WON'T. 192 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:17,552 I HAVE TO GO TO L.A. AND DO SOME PRESS STUFF, 193 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,281 SO UNFORTUNATELY I WON'T BE HERE TO TEST OUT 194 00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:22,165 YOUR LITTLE THEORY. 195 00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:23,522 - WATCH, NOW I'M GONNA LOSE 196 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,377 BECAUSE MY GOOD LUCK CHARM'S NOT IN THE STANDS. 197 00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,169 [cheering] 198 00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:28,172 - WE'RE BACK, BABY! 199 00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:29,592 - YES, SIR! 200 00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:31,926 AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS MAN RIGHT HERE, BABY! 201 00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:32,971 WELL, HIM AND ME. 202 00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:35,715 OKAY, IT'S MOSTLY ME! HA! 203 00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:38,524 - [laughs] YEAH! WHOO! 204 00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:47,341 I'M ONLY 20% BLACK! 205 00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:48,414 [laughter] 206 00:06:48,413 --> 00:06:50,173 WELL, ACTUALLY IT'S MORE LIKE 25%. 207 00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:52,212 'CAUSE ON MY MOM'S SIDE, MY GRANDMOTHER'S INDIAN. 208 00:06:52,206 --> 00:06:54,276 YO, ISN'T MATH, LIKE, CRAZY FUNNY? 209 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:55,235 [laughter] 210 00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:56,691 - OOH, GIRL, LOOK AT THIS. 211 00:06:56,689 --> 00:06:58,409 SEE? YOUR MAN IS KILLING IT. 212 00:06:58,413 --> 00:07:00,173 WITH YOUR SUPPORT, RICK CAN DO ANYTHING. 213 00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:01,692 - GIRL, PLEASE. 214 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,689 HONEY, THEY AIN'T LAUGHING AT RICK 'CAUSE HE'S FUNNY. 215 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,309 THEY'RE LAUGHING 'CAUSE I PAID THEIR ASSES. 216 00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:06,340 - YOU'RE LYING. 217 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,454 - LOOK, FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS, 218 00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,068 THESE IDIOTS WILL LAUGH AT ANYTHING. 219 00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:10,278 - WOW. 220 00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:11,785 - WHAT? 221 00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:14,723 YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME I NEEDED TO BE MORE SUPPORTIVE! 222 00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:16,314 - YEAH, BUT NOT LIKE THIS. 223 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,930 I MEAN, WHY IS THE FIRST PLACE YOU GO TO ALWAYS A LIE? 224 00:07:18,931 --> 00:07:20,001 - I DON'T KNOW. 225 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,310 HELL, SOME PEOPLE GO OFF TO WAR. 226 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,140 OTHER PEOPLE RUN OFF AND SELL THEIR BODIES. 227 00:07:23,137 --> 00:07:24,097 I LIE, OKAY? 228 00:07:24,103 --> 00:07:25,073 DO I TAKE PRIDE IN IT? 229 00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:26,278 NO, ALL RIGHT? 230 00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,995 BUT IT'S A WARM AND COMFORTABLE PLACE FOR ME. 231 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,210 IT'S LIKE OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE. 232 00:07:29,206 --> 00:07:30,896 - WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE RICK DOESN'T FIND OUT 233 00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:32,406 YOU WENT TO OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE TONIGHT, 234 00:07:32,413 --> 00:07:34,693 BECAUSE HE MIGHT JUST CRUSH YOUR BLOOMING ONION, HONEY. 235 00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:35,929 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 236 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:37,761 YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR BLOOMING ONION AND LAUGH. 237 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,098 - SO HE'S GONNA WRITE THE TICKET, 238 00:07:39,103 --> 00:07:40,553 AND I'M, LIKE, "PLEASE OFFICER, 239 00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:46,591 I'M NOT ACTUALLY BLACK AT ALL!" 240 00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:48,586 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, HOLD UP, GUYS. 241 00:07:48,586 --> 00:07:50,236 HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP. 242 00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:53,411 A TOAST TO THE SECOND MOST TALENTED, 243 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:58,073 SECOND FASTEST, SECOND MOST IMPRESSIVE MAN ON THIS TEAM. 244 00:07:58,068 --> 00:07:58,998 - TO MALIK WRIGHT, Y'ALL. 245 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 [laughter] 246 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,450 - OKAY. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? 247 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,788 HOLD UP, HOLD UP. 248 00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:05,453 IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, ALL RIGHT? 249 00:08:05,448 --> 00:08:07,098 TO THE MAN OF THE HOUR. 250 00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:10,933 TO THE REASON WE CAN ALL HOLD OUR HEADS UP HIGH TONIGHT. 251 00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:13,621 TO THE REAL LEADER ON THIS TEAM. 252 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:14,620 TO MYSELF. 253 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,000 [laughter] 254 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,030 SERIOUSLY, DOG. 255 00:08:17,034 --> 00:08:19,104 BLUE, YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB, BROTHER. 256 00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,073 - THANKS. 257 00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,138 - TO BLUE! all: TO BLUE! 258 00:08:21,137 --> 00:08:22,587 - THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 259 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,406 - YOU KNOW THAT'S 'CAUSE YOKO WASN'T THERE, RIGHT? 260 00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:25,553 - [laughs] 261 00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:27,001 - YO, WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT? 262 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,690 - I THINK HE'S REFERRING TO YOUR LESSER HALF, 263 00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:30,069 BETTER KNOWN AS THE, "AH," IN "BLAH." 264 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:34,068 - WOW! WOW, I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU, MALIK. 265 00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,718 I THOUGHT KEIRA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR GIRL. 266 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,034 - DOG, SHE IS MY GIRL, OKAY? 267 00:08:37,034 --> 00:08:39,344 BUT LOOK, I FOR ONE BELIEVE IN THE AGE-OLD TRADITION 268 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,934 OF SUPERSTITION IN SPORTS. 269 00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:43,381 LOOK, WHY DO Y'ALL THINK JORDAN WORE HIS NORTH CAROLINA SHORTS 270 00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,929 UNDER EVERY SINGLE UNIFORM BEFORE HIS GAMES? 271 00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:47,481 WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE DON'T SHOWER 272 00:08:47,482 --> 00:08:49,312 BEFORE EACH CHAMPIONSHIP GAME? 273 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:50,240 - NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 274 00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:51,411 THAT'S TRUE. 275 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:53,103 BECAUSE NORMALLY, I SHAVE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE 276 00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,343 BEFORE EACH GAME. 277 00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,834 AND TWO GAMES AGO, I SHAVED CLOCKWISE. 278 00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:57,927 MY ASS ENDED UP ON THE BENCH. 279 00:08:57,931 --> 00:08:59,591 [all laugh] 280 00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:01,966 - NEGRO, YOUR ASS IS ALWAYS ON THE BENCH, OKAY? 281 00:09:01,965 --> 00:09:02,995 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 282 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,310 MAYBE I WOULD GET MORE PLAYING TIME 283 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,830 IF I SHAVED YOU COUNTER-CLOCKWISE. 284 00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:06,857 - [groans] 285 00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:07,832 Y'ALL NASTY. 286 00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:11,477 - OH, HERE COMES SCHLEPROCK NOW. 287 00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:12,862 - HEY, DUDE, RELAX. 288 00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:14,342 MY GIRL BRINGS ME NOTHING BUT GOOD VIBES. 289 00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:15,384 - OH, HI, BABY! 290 00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:16,379 [glass shattering] 291 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,719 - OH! - WHAT THE HELL? 292 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,694 - I'M REALLY SORRY. 293 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:22,029 - I TOLD YOU. 294 00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:24,074 - NO, IT'S--UM, IT'S GOOD. 295 00:09:24,068 --> 00:09:25,238 DON'T... 296 00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:28,031 [knock on door] 297 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,480 UH, WHO IS IT? 298 00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:38,662 - IT'S ME, BABE. 299 00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:42,065 I CAME TO GIVE YOU A PRE-GAME GOOD LUCK KISS. 300 00:09:42,068 --> 00:09:43,658 - [sighs] MWAH! 301 00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:44,715 HEY, THANKS FOR THAT. 302 00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:46,314 I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT? 303 00:09:46,310 --> 00:09:47,410 - [laughs] DUDE, STOP PLAYING. 304 00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:48,413 LET ME IN. 305 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,593 MY FEET HURT IN THESE SHOES. 306 00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:51,306 - WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHANGE INTO SOME SHOES 307 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,590 YOU DIDN'T BUY FROM THE GROCERY STORE. 308 00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:54,516 [chuckles] 309 00:09:54,517 --> 00:09:57,897 - UH, WHAT? 310 00:09:57,896 --> 00:10:01,136 - OH, IN FACT, INSTEAD OF COMING TO THE GAME, 311 00:10:01,137 --> 00:10:04,517 WHY DON'T YOU BUY YOURSELF A NEW PAIR? 312 00:10:04,517 --> 00:10:07,207 MY TREAT. 313 00:10:12,896 --> 00:10:15,476 - THIS IS ABOUT THAT SUPERSTITIOUS CRAP, ISN'T IT? 314 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,902 DO YOU THINK I'M A JINX? 315 00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:23,826 - I MEAN, I DON'T NOT THINK YOU'RE A JINX. 316 00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,757 - FINE. WHATEVER! 317 00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,338 YOU KNOW, I MIGHT NOT HAVE WENT TO STANFORD, 318 00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:28,764 BUT I KNOW WHAT A DOUBLE-NEGATIVE IS, 319 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:31,138 AND I AIN'T NEVER BEEN DISRESPECTED LIKE THIS. 320 00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,517 SO SCREW YOU! 321 00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:34,277 YOU DON'T WANT ME AT THE GAME, I WON'T GO. 322 00:10:34,275 --> 00:10:35,375 IN FACT, I WON'T EVEN WATCH IT. 323 00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:37,209 SO PEACE OUT AND GOOD LUCK! 324 00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:40,786 - [groans] 325 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,033 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 326 00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,244 - UNH! 327 00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,791 - WHOA! HEY, HEY! I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? 328 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,213 SOME OF THE GUYS JUST GOT INTO MY HEAD. 329 00:10:46,206 --> 00:10:47,516 - WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT, 330 00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:49,277 "DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, JUST IGNORE THEM," CRAP? 331 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:50,785 - I KNOW, ALL RIGHT? 332 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:52,723 IT'S JUST--LOOK, IT'S HARD TO KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD 333 00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:54,004 WHEN EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT IT. 334 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,280 - [scoffs] 335 00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:00,995 - YOU'RE HURT, AND I'M SORRY. 336 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,930 I WAS BEING STUPID. 337 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,551 SO... 338 00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:11,411 HEY, HOW ABOUT A GOOD LUCK KISS? 339 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,479 - NO. TOO LATE. 340 00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:18,932 OH, AND FYI, I WILL BE GETTING SOME NEW SHOES. 341 00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:21,931 RED BOTTOMS WITH THE MATCHING HANDBAG, ALL YOUR TREAT. 342 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:25,241 HAVE A GOOD GAME. 343 00:11:25,241 --> 00:11:26,141 - HEY, WHAT... 344 00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:38,412 - MM-HMM. 345 00:11:38,413 --> 00:11:40,173 - TASHA, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING WITH ME 346 00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:41,282 TO WATCH THE GAME ON THE DL. 347 00:11:41,275 --> 00:11:42,615 'CAUSE, GIRL, YOU KNOW I'M TRYING 348 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,030 TO BOYCOTT JASON'S FOOTBALL CAREER. 349 00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:46,724 - GIRL, ANYTHING TO UNDERMINE THAT ALBINO, OKAY? 350 00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:48,214 AND PLUS, YOU KNOW WHAT? 351 00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:50,236 GIRL, THEY DON'T KNOW ME HERE LIKE THEY DO AT THE STADIUM. 352 00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,411 SO THAT MEANS THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN. 353 00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,283 - RIGHT? - BARTENDER? 354 00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:55,275 KEEP IT COMING, BABY. 355 00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:56,275 I KNOW YOU'RE A LITTLE SLOW. 356 00:11:56,275 --> 00:11:57,405 [laughs] 357 00:11:57,413 --> 00:11:58,903 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, BRACE YOURSELVES. 358 00:11:58,896 --> 00:11:59,896 - WHAT? 359 00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:00,856 - I GOT GREAT NEWS. 360 00:12:00,862 --> 00:12:01,792 - WHAT, BABY? 361 00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:02,723 - SO GUESS WHO'S 6'8"-- 362 00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:03,664 - MM-HMM. 363 00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:04,785 - AN EX-LAKER. PRETTY AS HELL. 364 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,863 AND GOING ON TOUR? 365 00:12:06,862 --> 00:12:08,522 - METTA WORLD PEACE. 366 00:12:08,517 --> 00:12:11,067 - WHAT? NO. ME. 367 00:12:11,068 --> 00:12:13,028 LOOK, I FIGURED AFTER MY PERFORMANCE THE OTHER NIGHT, 368 00:12:13,034 --> 00:12:14,034 THE NEXT OBVIOUS THING TO DO 369 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,724 WOULD BE TO HEADLINE A COMEDY TOUR. 370 00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:18,034 - OBVIOUSLY. 371 00:12:18,034 --> 00:12:19,904 - SO I CALLED SHAQ UP, AND HE SAID I COULD USE HIS BUS. 372 00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:22,166 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 373 00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:24,412 - WELL, RICK, I THINK IT'S, UM... 374 00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:25,793 DAMN, I THINK IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! 375 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,103 - YEAH, ME TOO. 376 00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:28,553 SO I WAS MAKING A LIST OF SOME COMEDIANS 377 00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:31,001 WHO MIGHT BE A GOOD FIT TO GO ON MY TOUR. 378 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,070 AND I WAS THINKING--WELL, ME. 379 00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,028 - YEAH. 380 00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:35,104 - DAVE CHAPELLE. 381 00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:36,663 UH, JERRY SEINFELD. 382 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:39,165 AND OF COURSE, IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT ROCK. 383 00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:41,032 YOU KNOW, MY CONTEMPORARIES. 384 00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:45,214 I'M THINKING OF CALLING IT "THE GODS OF COMEDY." 385 00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:46,616 - BABY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU MIGHT WANT 386 00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:47,970 TO START OFF JUST A LITTLE SMALLER? 387 00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:50,305 LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A SECOND SHOW? 388 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,310 - FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT. 389 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,620 - MM-HMM. 390 00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,450 - 'CAUSE I ACTUALLY JUST BOOKED THE OPEN MIC NIGHT 391 00:12:54,448 --> 00:12:55,688 DOWN AT THE COMEDY CLUB. 392 00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:57,519 - OKAY, RICK, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BOOKED OPEN MIC? 393 00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:58,827 IT'S OPEN MIC. 394 00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:00,687 ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST SIGN IN ON THE SIGN UP SHEET. 395 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:03,409 - WELL, IT'S IN A BOOK. 396 00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:04,383 - OH. 397 00:13:04,379 --> 00:13:05,589 IT'S IN A BOOK. 398 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:07,586 OKAY, I NEED ANOTHER DRINK. YOU KNOW WHAT? 399 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:08,896 MATTER OF FACT, BRING THE BOTTLE. 400 00:13:08,896 --> 00:13:09,826 - BLUE, BLUE! 401 00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:10,897 IS THERE ANY CREDENCE 402 00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:12,446 TO YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND KEIRA WHITAKER 403 00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:14,138 BEING YOUR BAD LUCK CHARM? 404 00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:15,407 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 405 00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,763 I JUST HAD A BAD GAME. 406 00:13:16,758 --> 00:13:18,998 THERE'S NOBODY TO BLAME HERE BUT ME. 407 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,790 OH, AND MALIK. MOSTLY MALIK. 408 00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:23,143 [Rihanna's Lost In Paradise] 409 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,927 - ♪ HOW WAS I TO KNOW 410 00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:28,481 ♪ MY LOVE WAS DELUSIONAL 411 00:13:28,482 --> 00:13:29,482 ♪ OOH-OOH 412 00:13:29,482 --> 00:13:31,622 ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW TO MEND 413 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:35,070 ♪ A BROKEN-HEARTED SOUL 414 00:13:35,068 --> 00:13:37,098 ♪ IN LOVE WE ALL WILL FALL 415 00:13:37,103 --> 00:13:41,483 ♪ BUT WE FELL A LITTLE HARDER 416 00:13:41,482 --> 00:13:42,932 ♪ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO 417 00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,691 ♪ WITH THIS HEART 418 00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:48,339 - SO WHO HERE LIKES PIZZA? 419 00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:50,004 COME ON. 420 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,380 NO ONE HERE LIKES PIZZA? 421 00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:54,339 COME ON, PEPPERONI. 422 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,344 ANCHOVIES? 423 00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:59,594 CHEESE? 424 00:13:59,586 --> 00:14:03,026 OKAY, NOW Y'ALL ARE JUST BEING MEAN. 425 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:04,454 OKAY, FINE, NO PIZZA. 426 00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:06,588 MONEY. EVERYBODY LOVES MONEY. 427 00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:07,686 - I KNOW I DO, HONEY. 428 00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:08,789 - OKAY? 429 00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,143 - SO I WAS AT THE BANK THE OTHER DAY 430 00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:11,587 TRYING TO DO A WIRE TRANSFER, RIGHT? 431 00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:19,716 AND THIS LADY, SHE SAYS, "SIR, YOU CAN'T WIRE $20 MILLION." 432 00:14:19,724 --> 00:14:21,524 WOMEN. RIGHT, FELLAS? 433 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:22,787 CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM. 434 00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:28,143 CAN'T GET THEM TO WIRE YOU $20 MILLION, RIGHT? 435 00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,447 HELLO? IS THIS THING ON? 436 00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:30,448 - DUDE, DUDE, YOU SUCK. 437 00:14:30,448 --> 00:14:31,928 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR 20 MILLION. 438 00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:33,241 JUST GIVE US OUR 20 BUCKS BACK. 439 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:34,551 [laughs] 440 00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:36,341 - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WITH YOUR 20 MILLION? 441 00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:37,934 HIRE SOMEBODY TO SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE. 442 00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:39,001 [laughter] 443 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,480 - HEY, TALK MORE ABOUT THE PIZZA! 444 00:14:40,482 --> 00:14:41,482 - HEY, HEY, HEY! 445 00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:43,212 LOOK, BALDING WHITE MAN, SHUT UP! 446 00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:44,546 [laughter] 447 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,591 DAMN, DON'T YOU SEE THIS BROTHER UP HERE TRYING TO WORK? 448 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,926 HELL, HE DON'T COME DOWN TO YOUR JOB-- 449 00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:49,141 OH, MY BAD, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE! 450 00:14:49,137 --> 00:14:50,307 [laughter] 451 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,550 SO THANKS FOR SAVING US THE TRIP! 452 00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:55,031 AND YOU! REALLY? I MEAN, REALLY? 453 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,244 DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU. 454 00:14:56,241 --> 00:14:57,551 THANK YOU, BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT? 455 00:14:57,551 --> 00:14:59,311 YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO OPEN UP YOUR DAMN MOUTH. 456 00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,410 YOU SEEN HIS MOUTH? HE'S GOT A DAMN GUMMY SMILE. 457 00:15:01,413 --> 00:15:02,693 JUST, HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR! 458 00:15:02,689 --> 00:15:03,999 [laughter] 459 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,100 HE'S GOT A DAMN MOUTH FULL 460 00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:07,243 OF SOME TINY, ROTTEN LITTLE PIG TEETH. 461 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:10,411 AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOUR LOVER. 462 00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:12,103 - THIS IS MY SON, GENIUS. 463 00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:14,863 - OH, OKAY, HE'S YOUR SON AND YOUR LOVER, OKAY! 464 00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:17,552 [laughter] 465 00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:21,101 DID YOU TEACH HIM ANY STANDARDS? 466 00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:22,413 YOU KNOW WHAT, BABY? 467 00:15:22,413 --> 00:15:24,073 DON'T FEEL BAD, 'CAUSE YOU GOT A NICE HAIRCUT. 468 00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:25,028 YOU DO, IT'S CUTE. 469 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:26,144 WHO GAVE IT TO YOU? DEXTER? 470 00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:27,547 [laughter] 471 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:29,481 'CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER! 472 00:15:29,482 --> 00:15:31,312 DON'T HE? THEY ALL GOT IT. 473 00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:32,310 HELL, YOU'RE JUST LATE. 474 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:35,000 [laughter] 475 00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:40,237 OH, MY GOD, I'M SORRY. 476 00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:44,971 RICK! BABY! 477 00:15:44,965 --> 00:15:46,715 WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL, I'M TASHA MACK. 478 00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,004 TIP YOUR WAITRESSES, ALL RIGHT? 479 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,520 DON'T GET NOTHING ON YOU ABOUT THAT LIFE! 480 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:50,517 - OH, YEAH! 481 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,167 [cheers and applause] 482 00:15:55,517 --> 00:15:57,407 - HAD TO STEAL MY THUNDER, HUH? 483 00:15:57,413 --> 00:15:58,693 - RICK, COME ON, NOW. 484 00:15:58,689 --> 00:16:00,409 YOU KNOW THOSE PEOPLE. THEY ARE NOT HERE FOR ME. 485 00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:01,343 THEY CAME TO SEE YOU, BABY. 486 00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:02,384 all: [chanting] TASHA! 487 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,379 TASHA! TASHA! TASHA! TASHA! 488 00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:06,379 - LOOK, I'M SORRY, RICK-- 489 00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:09,689 WAIT, SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME A WINO? 490 00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:11,789 - SINCE I BECAME A STRUGGLING COMEDIAN. 491 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:13,143 YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT WE DO. 492 00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:14,687 WE STROLL BACK AND FORTH BACKSTAGE HERE 493 00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:17,999 DRINKING HARD LIQUOR AND GRIPING ABOUT OUR SETS. 494 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,380 YOU KNOW, IT'S A THANKLESS TASK 495 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:25,139 TRYING TO SPREAD HUMOR TO THE MASSES. 496 00:16:25,137 --> 00:16:27,617 [coughs] 497 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,830 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 498 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:32,547 I SUGGEST YOU GET ACCUSTOMED TO THE COMEDIAN LIFESTYLE, 499 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:35,661 SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY DECIDED TO BECOME A COMEDIAN. 500 00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:38,095 - RICK, COME ON, I WAS JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU OUT THERE. 501 00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,003 - SAVE ME? 502 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,140 - YES. 503 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:42,097 - TASHA, DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU 504 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:44,103 THAT GIVEN THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF TIME, 505 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,313 I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF? 506 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:46,520 - REALLY? 507 00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:49,207 YOU WERE 14 MINUTES INTO A 15-MINUTE SET. 508 00:16:49,206 --> 00:16:50,716 YOU'RE SECONDS AWAY FROM A MAN COMING OUT 509 00:16:50,724 --> 00:16:52,904 IN SOME DAMN TAP SHOES AND SWEEPING YOU OFF THE STAGE! 510 00:16:52,896 --> 00:16:56,026 - OH, I COULD HAVE BROUGHT THAT AUDIENCE BACK AND KILLED! 511 00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:57,344 YOU SAW ME THE OTHER NIGHT. 512 00:16:57,344 --> 00:16:58,384 THEY LOVED ME. 513 00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:01,239 - YES, BECAUSE I PAID THEM, RICK. 514 00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:02,211 - YOU WHAT? 515 00:17:02,206 --> 00:17:03,476 - I PAID THEM, RICK. 516 00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:05,342 I TOOK A BUNCH OF HOBOS AND CHEAPOS DOWN TO GOODWILL, 517 00:17:05,344 --> 00:17:07,104 AND I CLEANED THEM UP. 518 00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:09,033 I TOLD THEM I'D GIVE THEM A COUPLE OF HOURS OF WARMTH 519 00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,554 AND SOME POCKET CHANGE IF THEY... 520 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:14,410 LAUGHED AT YOUR DAMN JOKES. 521 00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:15,523 - I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. 522 00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,277 - YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, RICK! 523 00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:18,335 AND I'M NOT HAPPY! 524 00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:25,662 LOOK, I'M SORRY, OKAY? 525 00:17:25,655 --> 00:17:26,955 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF 526 00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:28,484 THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE AND GET BETTER, 527 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,762 BUT I'M JUST NOT CONVINCED ANYMORE. 528 00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:34,998 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE. 529 00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:44,722 - [chuckles] 530 00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:46,594 YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH RICK FOX. 531 00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:54,072 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SWEETHEART. 532 00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:58,098 BEING WITH YOU HASN'T BEEN A CAKE-WALK EITHER. 533 00:17:58,103 --> 00:18:01,313 I STOOD BY YOU AND DEALT WITH YOUR DRAMA, 534 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:03,830 YOUR DISRESPECT, YOUR LIES. 535 00:18:06,413 --> 00:18:09,973 BUT IN HINDSIGHT, YOU WERE SO NOT WORTH IT. 536 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:12,764 - [gasps] 537 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,718 - AND NO MATTER HOW BAD MY COMEDY IS, 538 00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:19,104 AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'M STILL RICK FOX! 539 00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,793 BUT YOU'RE JUST SOME MIDDLE-AGED LOUD, OBNOXIOUS WOMAN 540 00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:23,453 WHO HAS QUESTIONABLE FASHION SENSE 541 00:18:23,448 --> 00:18:25,858 AND HAS NO IDEA HOW TO USE A PREPOSITION! 542 00:18:29,413 --> 00:18:34,073 - OKAY, LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU, OKAY? 543 00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:36,028 I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. 544 00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,904 RICK, I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY, THAT'S IT. 545 00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:39,826 - YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY. 546 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,657 NOT WITH ME, NOT WITH YOUR EX-CON BOYFRIEND. 547 00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:44,965 NOT WITH ANYONE! 548 00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:46,275 - [sighs] 549 00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:49,965 - I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU FIGURE OUT WHY 550 00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:52,095 BEFORE YOU END UP ALL ALONE IN LIFE. 551 00:18:52,145 --> 00:18:56,695 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38825

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.