All language subtitles for The Game s02e19 I Got 99 Problems.eng

It's all there, big daddy.

A little something extra
for the missus in there.

Make sure you take
her out sometime.

Ah, the missus.

Don't get me started.

By all means.

You know, Al, I gotta
tell you, man. This...

This place has really picked up
in the last two weeks.

Yeah, you know
those soccer moms.

They're a little gun-shy.

You know, ever since
that geriatric maniac

came through here
with his Nova?

Huh. Couldn't tell the brake
from the gas. My ass!

I knew that guy.

He had a mean streak.

Yo, Al.

It's about
to go down.

For the love of God,

he's here again?

No, no. No, it's Melanie.

My baby's here.

Al:
Oh.

So I...
Whoa.

Derwin?

Hey, what's up, Mel?

What's up, Jerome?

What's up, brother?

Yeah... yeah.

So...

what's going on?

How you doing?

Um, I've been good.

Everything's good.

It's just...
I haven't had time

to come see Al in a few weeks,

so I figured... well,

all my peonies died,

so I figured

now is, uh, a good time as any.

Right?

Yeah, Al's peonies
are the truth.

I know.

So... what are you
doing here?

Oh, you know, it's crazy.

I just got this sudden craving
for some cashews.

Aren't you allergic?

I guess that's what
makes it crazy.

(laughing)

So, how's the leg?

The leg...

The leg is cool. You know,

rehab's coming along much better
than the doctors expected.

I should be back, yeah.

I should be back in no time.

That's great,
Derwin. Yeah.

Well, good for you.
You know, Gatorade

is a client of mine,
and they're actually

interested in you
for a new campaign.

Oh, word?

Yeah. But, you know,
then, you got hurt, so.

You should give me

a call when
rehab's done,

when your knee
is reall ready.

You know. Not like,

"I think I can go."

Yeah. It feels ready now,
but, you know.

You never know.

Matter of fact,
I'll call you.

Okay. Appreciate that.
Pretty sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No doubt.
Appreciate that.

Okay.
Well,

I'm gonna go pick up my nuts
and get out of here.

Okay.

Well, you take care
of yourself, Derwin.

You, too.

A'ight, bra.

You know, we seem to run
into your boy a lot lately.

I don't know. I guess.

Here. Thanks.

Hey, Al.

Hi.

Where are you
hiding the peonies?

I have a whole bucket for you
right back here.

Oh, thanks.

You know, he was sitting
here, waiting for you.

Jerome.

Everybody comes to
the farmer's market.

It's not just for farmers.

Ain't no dude coming
to a flower shop, Mel, okay?

I wasn't gonna
come over here

until I saw ol' boy
standing here.

Oh, my God.

You are making
something out of nothing.

Am I?
Yes.

It's all good.

Okay.
Oh, Al!

Here you go, dear.

Oh, my God,

they're beautiful.

Oh! God, I wish
I can take these all.

You can. Derwin already
paid for all of them.

Matter of fact,

I owe you two more buckets
from the last two weeks.

Oh. Thanks.

Mel, you're not
taking those flowers.

Come on.

Don't get your peonies
in a bunch.

You know what?

God, Jerome,
they're just flowers.

I mean, they're innocent.

Innocent? Mel, you
met my parents.

Okay, and what is that
supposed to mean?

That means
that I'm in it.

How about you?
Where you at?

Okay? You know what, Jerome?

I cannot police
everywhere Derwin goes.

You just have to
trust that I'm here,

and that I'm your woman.

Okay, so how come every time
he runs into my woman,

you guys end up
doing the Merwin?

The Merwin?

The Melanie and Derwin tango,
th-the dance you guys always do.

What are you
talking about? You know what

No, I don't know what
you're talking about.

It's not funny anymore.
I'm serious.

We're the only black people.

Black people.
Come on, now.

Not in front of company.
Keep it down a little.

Yeah, whatever.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna see if one
of my ex-girlfriends

left me a bushel of okra.
How about that?

I just, I want to ask, you know,
'cause I'm that kinda girl.

If, let's say, in a year or so
he wants to date me,

you're okay with that, right?

Wrong.

Oh, you know. Clearly,

you're about to lose
another one, so.

Okay, fine. I'm sorry.

What, what's going
on with you guys?

Oh, my God. It's just...

Every time things are
going great with Jerome,

Derwin just appears
out of nowhere

and sets me back.

He's like my Bill Clinton.

Hey, do you want
Derwin back?

No.

N...? Why are you dragging

that... gorgeous action
figure through the mud

and just messing him up for
the next girl, which, you know,

we both agree, could be me.

Oh, my God, would you
back up off my man?

Okay. Now, see, that
was convincing.

Yeah, almost believed
he was your man.

All right. All
right, all right.

I'm sorry. Look.

You want some
friendly advice?

I think you guys just need
a change of scenery.

You know, like...
Oh! Go to L.A.

Stay at The Custom.

It's supposed to be so hot.

They have, um...

They have pink duct
tape in the minibar.

What?
Mm-hmm.

Why would they have d...?

Oh.
Mm-hmm.

Oh...

There it is.

Ow.

Say what?

Here. Take these peonies.

I'd rather have your man.

What?!

All right, listen up,
everybody.

I brought you all to L.A.

to congratulate
you guys for the work

you've done over the
past couple of months.

Now, with your hard work,

we signed some of the best
damn football players

in this year's draft, so...

I'm gonna throw 'em a party.

Now, I want these clients
to know what they're getting

now that they're with ISM.

ALL (chanting):
ISM! ISM!

And what do you get
when you're with ISM?

Money, clothes, and hos?

That's all a brother knows!
Foxy!

(others whooping)

Now, listen,
my L.A. office

is handling
all the important stuff.

I'll be in charge
of entertainment,

so don't mind me as I audition
girls for the party.

Or especially
the after party. Foxy!

Whoo!

Come here...

Ow!

All right! She's in! Gosh!

I like this night already.

All right, listen up.
Now, John!

I'm gonna need
you to keep

the Yukon gassed.
You're in charge

of airport transportation
and condom runs.

All right.
Now, Rick.

Uh... you be Rick.

Why, why do I always
have to be Rick?

Because you tried to be John
and the condoms

ended up
on a red-eye to Thailand.

All right, Irv, I'm ready.
What you want me to do?

Uh... what do I want
you to do? Uh...

You know what? Go home.
Enjoy your weekend.

Huh?
Yeah.

Okay. So it's blacks
to the back now. Okay. Whoa, whoa,

Tasha. Let's get Al and Jesse
off of line 1.

This isn't racial.
Foxy's representing.

He's Canadian.

You got me.

All right, seriously, Tasha.

This has nothing to do
with race. Okay?

It's because you're a girl.

With this whole social
raping problem, we don't want

to put you in an environment
that would set you off.

I told you I was cool, Irv.

You know, you really weren't
supposed to be here anyway.

Somehow you got cc'd--
thank you, Rick--

and here we are.

I'm so tired
of this.

You know what?
I am a manager at ISM,

so why don't you
treat me like one

and give me a damn assignment!

Okay, Tasha.
You want an assignment? Yes!

Director of Debauchery.

What?

Ho wrangler. Yeah, yeah.

It's like a cattle wrangler,
except for hos.

Sorry for the mess, dawg.

No, I mean, it's cool.

I mean, you got
a maid. I don't.

Listen, man.

Word of advice, bro.

Never sleep with
your housekeeper.

Oh!

Say what?
Man,

I done had so much sex with
so many different women,

I don't even
enjoy it no more.

Well, you're either gay...

or this is about Robin.

This is about Robin, right?

Do I look gay
to you, boy?

Hell, yeah, it's about
Robin. Boy, sit down.

Man.

I've loved women before,
but never like Robin.

I mean, except for Eva,
you know.

Yeah.

After I bedded Robin,
who the hell is Eva?

Who the hell is Eva?

Have a drink with me.

Nah, nah,
come on, man.

You know I don't
get down like that.

Negro, I didn't ask you
to smoke crack, all right?

Teacher's on vacation.
Have a drink with me, man.

Yo, Malik. I'm good.

Man, you're a bitch.

Whatever.

Hey! Woman!

If you don't pick up
a mop or something,

you're nothing
but a prostitute. Okay?

Hey, yo, man,
I saw Melanie today.

Who?

Girl Melanie. Is that what
you call her, Girl Melanie?

Oh, okay.

Yeah, she was with her
smart-looking boyfriend

at the farmer's market, man.

Looked like they just
rolled out of bed.

Melanie didn't even
have a bra on.

Mmm.
I mean,

first it was Trey Wiggs, right?

Now it's this Jerome cat.

Malik, that's like
two dudes in one year.

Melanie's been turned out.

That's messed up, dawg.

You said she didn't
have no bra on?

Uh-uh!

And you could see
straight through?

Straight through.

Oh.

Was it cold out?

I mean, paint the picture,
man. Take me there.

Come on, Malik.

All right, bro. Look.

You know what they say, man.

Once a good girl's gone bad,

she's gone forever.

You lost her, dawg.

I'll take that drink after all.

My boy.

Jason, you're
old, washed up,

and nobody's
gonna give you

the contract you're
looking for, my man.

Great. Where do I sign?

Honey, let's hear him out.

Look, I wouldn't
have brought you here

if I didn't think
Irv had the answer.

You have the answer, Irv.

Tell me you
have the answer.

(moans)

All right, what about
the Philly deal?

(laughs) Jason, the
Philly deal is bogus.

These guys just want

to bring you in to groom
some upcoming receiver

they're trying to build
their franchise around.

Okay. Thank you for being

yet another manager
I pass on. Let's go.

See, that's where
you're wrong, J.P.

I'm not those
other managers.

I'm ten steps ahead, shooting
backwards. No mirror.

Jason.

Look. J.P.

Stop calling me that.

Done.

I know you want to stay
in San Diego, right?

That's why I've been talking

to the Sabers G.M.
about it all week.

I told him about your
passion for the game,

your commitment
to the franchise,

and your leadership
on and off the field.

Now, I invite him
to my party tonight

and I set up a meeting.

Jase, I brought out
the sourdough.

All you got to do
is butter it.

Jason, you
can do this.

You know I'm not good
at making friends.

Or being nice.

You know what? Why
don't you just bring

your perfect
perky wife along

and you follow her lead.

I'm really up on
my current events.

(chuckles)

It was this...

or fly to meet my parents.

Mmm. I don't know.

I thought this was hotter.

You thought right.

Jerome, I want you to know
that I'm all in.

And I'm not going anywhere.

And...

the only dance I want to do
is the "Jerlaine."

(laughing)

Let's do it.

Okay.

(squeals)

(laughing)

Nah, I only have eyes
for her, Tasha.

Come on, Todd. She said
no extras, all right?

She's only stripping to put
herself through law school.

What, she don't need books?

Forget her, all right?

Now this one right here...

she just got
a fresh boob job.

She's got this little trick
she can do from the ceiling

and she can hold
her breath, dawg.

Nah, I'm cool on her.

I want the lawyer-mami.

Irv said I could have
whatever I wanted,

and look, the ink's not even
dry on my contract yet.

Come on, Todd.
Look, she got a kid.

So do I.

Hey, maybe they can
play together.

Look...

I'm going up to my room.

I expect her up
there in five.

Or I'm telling.

Excuse me.

Okay, look, he don't
want to have sex, all right?

He just wants you to walk
around the room butt-naked with your heels on.

That's his thing,
all right?

Now as far as sexual
proclivities go, that ain't so bad.

'Cause Andy over there...

He want to smear his girl
in peanut butter

and then stick her
between two pieces of bread.

Tasha, there's certain
things I won't do.

I told you, I have
a kid to think about.

Asia, Asia.

You know how when
you're twirling around

that pole every night
with your eyes closed,

and you're imagining you're
baking cookies for your kid?

Same thing.

Except you're going to be
on a different stage,

getting paid way more money.

Just walk around?
Mm-hmm.

Like it's a fashion show?

Yeah, with no fashion.

Come on, look...

might even be some
chemistry there, huh?

Could be a great story
on how you met your husband.

I guess so.

Okay.

Just don't tell any
of the other strippers.

Yeah, 'cause they
may judge you.

I got it.

Suite 1107,
all right?

Oh, my God.

I think we should
move here.

It's something
to think about, yeah.

Okay, toast to that.

"...like most Germans in
the professional class,

the engineers at
Heidi & Sons..." MELANIE:

Hey, Melanie Barnett.
It's been too long.

What are you doing here?

Just taking a little vacay.

Probably hit up
the Getty later on--

check out Fragonard's
Allegories of Love. You?

Spending some time
with my man-- Jerome.

Hey, what's up, little man?

Hey.

Um, I'm going to try to find
us some lounge chairs.

Okay.

Seems all right, I guess.

A little dull for my tastes,

but hey, one man's ceiling
is another man's floor, right?

Are Derwin and Malik with you?

Hmm, I sense panic.

No, you sense my life
is my life.

And I'd like
to keep it that way, okay?

And yet, you're still over
here interrupting mine.

I got my eye on you.

Asia!

Okay, if you're unable to talk,
just moan or something.

Todd!

Tasha, Tasha,
what are you doing?

Will you open up
this damn...

Tasha, I'm so glad
you're here.

I know, baby. Come on.
Grab your stuff. Let's go.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
There's no need for that.

I wanted to thank you.

Todd and I are in love.

Come again?
Yeah.

Hot Toddy and I just
have this connection.

It's true.
It's unexplainable.

ASIA:
Tasha,

we're going to start
our own family.

After I help him
the custody battle.

What?! Wait, hold on, hold on.
This ain't making no sense.

Tasha, quit hating.

Tasha...

What? I got to save her.

He probably slipped
her a Mickey...

or a Minnie or something.

Come on. Come on.
What?

You need
to calm down. No.

What is going on with you?

I don't know.

I mean, I don't even know
what's going on with me.

It's like I've spent
my whole life

trying to be respected
as a woman,

and now I'm out here
trying to be a part

of some stupid boys' club
by pimping little girls.

Because of me, that girl's life
is going to be ruined.

How do you know that?

She said she was in love.

Look, it might just work out.

You know, people do find love
in strange places.

What the hell you mean?
One of them donkey shows?

No, no, Tasha.

Look, love can...

Love is...

Just tell her, Rick.
Just tell her.

Tell me what?

Tasha, I wanted you from
the first day I met you.

Rick...

I'm real raw right now.

Okay, I mean,

I've been ordering
stuff I don't need

just to see the UPS man.

And he ain't even that cute.

Okay, so don't play
with my emotions.

Tasha, why do you think I always
want to sit next to you?

Or why I'm always saying,
"Tasha, you ride with me"?

Look, I even give you

the skin off my chicken.

I like the skin, too.

Just when I got the gumption up,

that whole social raping
thing happened.

It was just
another reminder

why we can't do this.

We work together.

I quit.

Yo, man, just call her.

Dawg, I can't, man.

I ain't no bee-yotch.

What?!
Hey, there's

rules to this thing of ours,
young blood.

What?

When a girl ain't
giving you no play,

you leave her ass be.

Or you have sex
with her homegirl.

And since Robin's been hanging

with Whoopi and CCH Pounder,

I'm going to have
to pass on that.

Yeah, man, I feel you.

It's kind of like that time
when Mel... (phone ringing)

Who the hell is that
keep calling you?

Damn! Janay been blowing
my phone up.

Dawg, why don't you just
talk to the girl?

Bro, have I not been over here
ten hours

talking about Melanie?

Okay, ain't nobody
thinking about Janay.

What... what the hell?

Man...

Aw, hell, I'm rich.
Live it up.

(phone ringing)

Oh, snap! Robin!

My phone!

Where your phone at, man?
I still hear it.

Move!

"Ex-girlfriends gone wild.

Custom Hotel, L.A. Holla."

Why the hell

is Tee Tee sending me a picture
of Girl... Melanie?!

Oh, hell no.

I know you ain't talking
about my Melanie.

And some overgrown dude
in the pool.

What?!

I know that ain't

my Melanie.

She ain't never wore
no bikini with me!

Yo, and her booty's
even poking out!

And she ain't never
had no booty with me!

Malik, man, where
you going, man?

Malik!

Man, what you doing?

Bro, I'm damn near
in tears here

and you're browsing,
searching the Web and whatnot?

Man, I'm buying
an E-ticket

to My Hair, My Life,
and My Struggle.

The Life and Times
of Madame C.J. Walker.

Oh, yeah?

Uh-huh, C.J. Walker.

Well, I'm sorry.

I thought you were
doing something

that had absolutely nothing
to do with your crisis.

No, man. Robin's in L.A.
playing Madame Walker,

and Girl Melanie is up there

rubbing her booty
against the Incredible Hulk.

There's only one thing
left for us to do, bro.

Buy two more tickets?

No, ding-a-ling.

You can't be
this damn drunk.

Look, I'm trashing
the rule book,

and I'm calling a audible.

Damn it. We going to L.A.
to get our women!

Get your purse.

(groans)

She done changed!

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