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1
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,653
* Green light
2
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,682
(hip-hop music plays)
3
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,273
* Red light
4
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,299
(music stops)
5
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,647
* Green light
6
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,680
(music resumes)
7
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:07,741
(voice slowing):
* Yellow light...
8
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,768
(music slows)
9
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,289
(yelling)
10
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,461
(all yelling)
11
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,330
Yo, yo, yo.
12
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:34,129
From now on, we rock it
like this every Monday.
13
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,662
(cheering)
14
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,097
I christen thee Malik Mondays!
15
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,236
Hey, Tee Tee, make sure
we keep them rib tips
16
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,443
and them wings stocked,
all right? Cool.
17
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,905
Damn.
18
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,612
High-definition
and Serena's ass.
19
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,675
Now, that's a winning
combination, boy.
20
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,346
I want her.
21
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:59,885
More wings and
Serena Williams-- got it.
22
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,193
Yo, Kristen.
23
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,585
It's T Squared.
24
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,196
Yeah, Malik wants Serena.
25
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:10,328
KRISTEN:
Well, he is such an ass man.
26
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,134
All right,
I'll make the call.
27
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,544
Carmen, hey,
it's Kristen Davenport,
28
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,572
Malik Wright's publicist.
29
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:24,178
Listen, I was thinking we should
get Malik and Serena together.
30
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,882
Hold on a sec.
31
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,953
Hey, Serena, do you want
to go out with Malik Wright?
32
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,922
Malik Wright? How many yards
did he throw last year?
33
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,262
I don't know. I think
it was over 3,000.
34
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,788
Oh, yeah, yeah,
hook that up.
35
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,369
(hip-hop music playing)
36
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,966
Hey, what's up, Rex?
37
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,907
Whoo, Jazz, what
I tell you, girl?
38
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,853
There is no other place to be
than Malik Mondays in the Diego.
39
00:02:58,879 --> 00:02:59,909
You want something
to drink
40
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,277
or an hors d'oeuvre
or something?
41
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,315
Uh-uh. Oh, hell no.
42
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,550
You haven't even
seen the options.
43
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,594
No.
44
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,889
We ain't been over
two weeks,
45
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,890
and you show up
with this bitch?
46
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:09,992
Excuse me?
47
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,463
This is my wife.
48
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,892
I don't even know
your crazy ass.
49
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:13,856
Man, watch out.
50
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,234
Then why does my cell phone
have a picture
51
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,334
of you sucking
on my toes?
52
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,795
Get your hands
off me, fool!
53
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:22,272
That could be
anybody's toes, man. Are you crazy?!
54
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,773
Do you know who I'm with?
I'm here with Derwin Davis!
55
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,305
Derwin Davis is my man!
56
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,940
Fool, get your
hands off me!
57
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,975
We're in love!
Tell him, baby!
58
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,280
We're in love.
Don't play me!
59
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,253
Hey, that's my song.
60
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,816
I mean, Malik, what
kind of ghetto people
61
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,421
are you bringing
around me?
62
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,263
I am a classy woman
of distinction.
63
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,419
I-I can't... I can't be
around those type of people.
64
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,857
I mean, Mandela--
he's my play cousin.
65
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,332
I know, but...
What would he think?
66
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,560
Okay, pardon me
for a second.
67
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,655
Ding-a-ling!
68
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,474
Yo, man, I didn't know, Malik.
69
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,800
Okay, you got to believe me.
70
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,944
I met her over at Mercy
a couple weeks ago.
71
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,439
Dog, she was
reading a book.
72
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,511
And you fell for that?
73
00:03:58,539 --> 00:03:59,609
You got "got," man.
74
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,310
She obviously ain't on
the damn List.
75
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,512
No, she... she was
my "plus one."
76
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,884
I'm not talking
about the guest list.
77
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,353
I'm talking about
the Good Girl List, donut hole.
78
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,422
There's a list now?
79
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,320
What...? Is it
the Learning Annex
80
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,052
up in this bitch
tonight, huh?
81
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,816
I said bring good girls, man.
82
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,885
Girls that don't have
stars in their eyes.
83
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,733
Girls that are
respectable and whatnot.
84
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,389
All right, then, what, you
holding on the List, man?
85
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,758
You need to let me
copy it, then.
86
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,427
The List
isn't written down, okay?
87
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,597
It's like the A List
or the VIP List.
88
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,966
You just know who's on it
and who ain't, man.
89
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,014
And that girl
is an "ain't," okay?
90
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,010
All right?
You got me? Yeah.
91
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,012
Cool. Now, you can bring her
down to Skanky Sundays
92
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,554
or Toe-up Tuesdays,
but, dude...
93
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,050
Malik, why in the hell
would anyone have
94
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:41,881
a Toe-up Tuesday?
95
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,075
Man, look, Tee Tee
promotes that night.
96
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,487
All right, long story, dog.
97
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,989
Okay, look, the point is,
98
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,690
it's obvious you can't
handle being a player,
99
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,522
so from now on,
your boy's hooking you up.
100
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:51,958
All right,
then what's up? All right, then.
101
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,092
Janay!
102
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,097
Real cool chick.
103
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,028
Got her stuff together.
Got her own boutique.
104
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,034
Hot.
105
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,965
What's up? Hey.
Hey, lady.
106
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,600
Let me introduce you
to my man.
107
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,695
This is Derwin Davis.
108
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,036
Janay Brice.
Hey.
109
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,471
How you doing, Janay?
I'm good.
110
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,106
Oh, twinkle, twinkle,
little star.
111
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,640
I see 'em flying everywhere.
112
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,706
Hey, table's set, y'all.
113
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,654
Name that first baby
after me.
114
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,350
Lik-Lik!
115
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,123
That is an awkward introduction.
116
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,790
Yeah, he sold me
pretty short.
117
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,749
'Cause we'll probably
have twins or triplets.
118
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,558
I mean, I am pretty potent.
119
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,830
(chuckles)
120
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,658
Oh, well, okay.
121
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,464
I'll be right back.
122
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,926
I'm going to go grab me some...
123
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,403
No, you know what?
I'm going to be honest with you.
124
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,133
I'm probably not coming back.
125
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,696
Janay, Janay, hold up.
126
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,636
Hey, I'm sorry.
127
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,511
I just got out
of a relationship.
128
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,010
And I'm really
not good at this.
129
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,912
You are pretty bad.
130
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,514
So, what do you do
at your boutique?
131
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,676
Oh, I, um, own a boutique...
132
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,352
Morning, sugar.
133
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:52,992
Hey.
134
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,758
What's wrong with you?
135
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,690
We are never going
to therapy, are we?
136
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,826
Not with that attitude.
137
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,431
Jason, I'm serious.
138
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,033
You keep filling up this house
with guests
139
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,674
so we don't have
to deal with this.
140
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,899
Ba-baby, that is just
so untrue.
141
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,666
You have Chad staying
with us this week.
142
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,144
Next week, it's Tony.
143
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,142
No. Next week is Strahan.
144
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,483
Tony's the week after that.
145
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,778
Jason!
146
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:16,809
Baby, seriously...
147
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,514
look, we'll work it out, okay?
148
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:19,606
It's a scheduling thing.
149
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,077
We've got to carve out
some time.
150
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,624
It is important to me.
We will do it, me and you...
151
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:24,621
together, okay?
152
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:25,622
Chad!
153
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,963
My man.
154
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:28,958
How'd you sleep?
155
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,189
Like a $35 million baby.
156
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,293
Oh, you know what,
that reminds me:
157
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,664
we have a million
dollar towel fee. That reminds me:
158
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,134
I left it on the nightstand.
159
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,163
Morning, Kelly.
160
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:37,967
Good morning.
161
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,128
What do you like
in your frittata?
162
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,866
Frittatas?
163
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,571
Kelly, leave this old man alone,
164
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,173
and please come
and run away with me.
165
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,214
Okay.
166
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,838
Just give me a
minute to pack.
167
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,184
Hey, easy, easy.
168
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,438
I got three other players
who want your room.
169
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,878
Bro, I'm just jealous, man.
170
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,952
It's kind of nice
to wake up to frittatas
171
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,821
instead of four ta-tas
for a change.
172
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,819
Told you all that partying
would catch up with you.
173
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,221
You need to settle down,
get some focus.
174
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,652
It'll help your game.
175
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,188
Yeah, I hear you.
176
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,592
Kelly, you got any
good girls for me?
177
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,025
Well, maybe I could
introduce you to Desiree.
178
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,730
She's been doing a lot
of print modeling.
179
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,732
Or-or Birdie just started
this high-end sock business.
180
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,774
Oh, I know... Claire's single.
181
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:13,800
Hmm...
182
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,904
KELLY:
Oh, my God, wait...
183
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,195
What am I thinking?
184
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,466
What about Melanie?
185
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:18,565
No, no, no.
He'll take Claire.
186
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,476
Dude, Claire is...
a good person.
187
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:22,479
No.
188
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,480
Melanie is perfect.
189
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,182
Look, she comes
from money,
190
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,512
so she doesn't
need yours.
191
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,747
She knows the ropes:
192
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,581
what to wear in the skybox,
on the red carpet...
193
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,487
Baby, Melanie was with Derwin
all that time.
194
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,749
I got to work with the kid.
195
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,986
I don't even want to... no.
196
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,161
Claire-- on the other hand...
197
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,488
No, Melanie.
198
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,594
Look, she's cute,
in med school.
199
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,987
No, that's all right.
Sounds busy.
200
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:41,858
Yeah, sounds busy.
201
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,965
I sorry, I meant
she's in... med school.
202
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,228
Yeah. I'm sold.
203
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,226
Okay, great.
204
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,467
I'll call her right now.
205
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,108
No, I don't want to go out
with Chad Johnson.
206
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,980
Are you honestly standing here
fresh off the bus,
207
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,279
hair reeking of corned beef,
turning down Chad Johnson?
208
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,012
It's brisket, thank you.
209
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,948
I showed him your picture.
210
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,523
He thought you were gorgeous.
211
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,192
I don't care what...
212
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,858
He thought I was gorgeous?
213
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,758
Well, which picture?
No, no.
214
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,190
I don't want to know.
215
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,704
He's Chad freakin' Johnson.
216
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,698
I mean, the guy's on the cover
of Vibe magazine.
217
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,670
He can have
any woman he wants.
218
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,699
And he wants you.
219
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,174
(sighs)
220
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,842
Look, Kelly, I'm
flattered, okay,
221
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,841
because he is
yummy delicious.
222
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,584
And he's dark chocolate.
223
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,679
Better for you-- less calories,
guilt-free... every bite.
224
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,282
Kelly, no.
225
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,853
I am so done with this whole
football player thing.
226
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,283
Melanie, it's not
about football.
227
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,647
I mean, there's just certain
people you don't turn down.
228
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,048
George Clooney,
Michael Jordan,
229
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,589
Anderson Cooper--
straight or gay, love him.
230
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,685
And who else?
231
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,826
Chad Johnson.
232
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,861
Kelly, I am
perfectly happy
233
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,127
dating Jerome.
234
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,034
I thought you and Jerome
weren't exclusive.
235
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,865
Well, he hasn't called
me in like a day,
236
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,035
so I don't know anymore.
237
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,742
Then, what's the problem?
238
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,284
Chad's single.
You're single.
239
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,839
He's a nice guy.
240
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,977
And at the very least,
you'll get some free shrimp.
241
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,117
Okay, give him
my number.
242
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,679
Goody, goody!
243
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,018
Oh, and pad your bra.
244
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,592
I might have oversold
your ta-tas.
245
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,262
Maybe it's your posture.
246
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,229
No, pad them.
247
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,699
(knocking)
248
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,865
DERWIN:
Open up! Man, you got some party people out here!
249
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,643
Ho!
250
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,942
Shh. Be cool, man. Chill.
251
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,883
What you talking
about, T Double?
252
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,308
Man, the new lady
of the house
253
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,084
thought the party
should be a little different.
254
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,582
A little suckier.
255
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:45,350
Janay, D, I'm so glad
y'all could come...
256
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,145
Malik.
257
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,857
That's my name. Serena.
258
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,729
Are you going to ask
your friends to change? What?
259
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:54,389
You guys don't mind
changing, do you?
260
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,357
I mean,
261
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,695
you live close, right?
262
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,401
Yeah, but I didn't know
the party was upscale.
263
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,072
Hey, you know what?
You guys, it's cool.
264
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,941
We'll just come back
and hit it next week.
265
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,140
No, no, no, no, no, no.
266
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,711
Y'all ain't got
to do nothing, okay?
267
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,369
Woman, I said you can
invite a couple people,
268
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,637
order some food and do
your thing, but come on!
269
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:10,377
Look, I'm trying
to make sure
270
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,850
people can see
that we're hot.
271
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,309
Now, if you don't want
to be hot,
272
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,416
then you need to tell me
you don't want to be hot.
273
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,918
Do you want
to be hot, Malik?
274
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,690
Yeah, but I...
275
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,949
Do you want this to end?
276
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,657
Are we having sex tonight?
277
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,430
Oh, so now you're trying
to embarrass Serena Williams?
278
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,958
Malik, Serena, we're
just going to take off.
279
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,334
You know what?
That would be best.
280
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,701
What?!
That would be best.
281
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,800
You're going to
kick the only two
282
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:31,901
black people in
my party out?
283
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,102
You know what?
You trippin', woman.
284
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,366
* Malik Wright
285
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,144
* On the field and on the mic,
I keep it tight *
286
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,413
Tee Tee.
287
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,741
Serena around?
288
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,046
You hear bitching?
Oh! Stop playing, boy.
289
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,408
Now, you know those two
have been dating for a minute,
290
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,447
and Serena's real big on family,
so I figure now's the time
291
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,323
for Mama Tasha to slide on
in there and be her manager.
292
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,323
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
293
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,424
I'm changing the locks.
294
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,055
Malik's done with Serena.
It's back to big girls.
295
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,691
Just put in a call for
Sherri Shepherd this morning.
296
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,128
Oh, Lord!
297
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,736
Malik!
298
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:09,839
Malik!
299
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,210
(music stops)
300
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,769
Yeah, Ma?
301
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,007
What happened
with you and Serena?
302
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,382
(sighs)
303
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,049
I said, "Yo,
it's over."
304
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,378
She said, "No."
305
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,282
I said, "Yo, I'm
serious, woman."
306
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,784
(chuckles):
She said, "No, and that's that."
307
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,717
So I said...
308
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,493
"Tee Tee, change
them damn locks."
309
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,190
(chuckles)
Malik, look,
310
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,192
you can't do that.
Ma, please!
311
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,264
She's mean, bossy.
312
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,963
Ruined Malik Mondays, made
Tee Tee give her a key,
313
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:39,126
and after all that, she
didn't even let me hit it.
314
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,966
Girl's got to have the
longest period on record.
315
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,502
That sounds like
your problem.
316
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,836
But I want to sign her.
317
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,413
Now, I can't get by at ISM
on my good looks forever, okay?
318
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,842
I got to sign somebody big,
319
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,778
and since you won't
come back to me,
320
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,053
I need you to work this out.
321
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,781
Ma, you're trying to
pimp out your baby?
322
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,786
Oh, goo-goo-ga-ga, Negro.
323
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,120
(sighs):
So...
324
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,386
I guess the shrimp was better
than the menu promised.
325
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,426
Yeah, yeah.
326
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,800
It was... it was pretty
good, but, you know...
327
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,430
you know, I really got to be
honest with you, you know.
328
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,465
It's, uh... man, this
right here ain't working.
329
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,001
You know, there
is no type
330
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,906
of love connection
between us at all.
331
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,838
Mm. Yeah, well...
none that I can find.
332
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,814
Cool, cool.
333
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:26,413
Well, you know, we can call
it a night if you want.
334
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,416
I mean, unless you want
to have sex with your boy.
335
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,019
You know, I'm always
down for that. Always.
336
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,422
(laughs)
Or, you know, I can take you home.
337
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,564
You know, I can get some rest,
'cause I'm a little sleepy.
338
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,330
Man, I'm beat.
Mm.
339
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,459
Well, as tempting
as that sounds,
340
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,204
I've got some pennies
I have to roll. (laughs)
341
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,431
Cool. You know, for
a second there,
342
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,536
my ego was a little...
a little bruised.
343
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,068
But then I thought, man,
you on the Good Girl List.
344
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,844
I'm not even going to
count this one as a loss.
345
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,484
Wait, wait, wait.
(laughs)
346
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,878
"Good Girl List"?
347
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,450
What are you
talking about?
348
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,978
Come on, now,
man, don't play.
349
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,083
You was out with Trey
Wiggs, Derwin Davis,
350
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,845
now you out with Chad Johnson,
and you're honestly gonna act
351
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,585
like you don't know
you ain't pre-approved?
352
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,489
(laughs)
353
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,561
Pre-approved?
354
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,960
Oh, so now I'm some
kind of home loan?
355
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,255
You know, I knew
356
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,196
I shouldn't have gone out with
another one of you athletes.
357
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,902
You know, you guys are sick,
putting girls on lists
358
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,165
like we're property.
Oh, so now I'm the bad guy
359
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,114
'cause I don't want
to roll the dice
360
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,109
every time I date one
of y'all women?
361
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,941
Yeah, well, that's life, okay?
362
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,477
You take chances, and sometimes
you meet that special person.
363
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,482
It's called spontaneity,
romance.
364
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,924
Man, girl, please.
365
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,379
Romance, my ass.
366
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,588
Girl, I travel 200 days
a year, man,
367
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,860
with games, talking with kids,
368
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,060
shooting commercials,
paparazzi on my ass... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
369
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,262
I get it, I get it, you know?
You're busy.
370
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,234
Well, you know,
we're all busy, okay?
371
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,232
(car alarm chirps)
I'm...
372
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,432
I'm in med school!
373
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,937
And I work at a diner!
374
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,910
Damn. No wonder
you smell like brisket.
375
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,041
Punk ass.
376
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,478
So, uh, what's
your favorite food?
377
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,584
Uh, I got to say
strawberries and mangos.
378
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:10,916
Oh, okay.
Yep.
379
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,421
All right, um...
380
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,022
your favorite color?
381
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,664
Coral. Yours?
382
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,988
Girl, come on--
Saber blue.
383
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,555
Oh, okay. Original.
Yeah.
384
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,932
Okay, okay.
(laughs)
385
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,301
Favorite athlete?
386
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,999
You.
387
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,531
That's a good answer.
388
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:26,895
That's a real good answer.
389
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,044
You know.
Mm-hmm.
390
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,898
Mine is actually
Dwyane Wade.
391
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,297
Really?
Mm-hmm.
392
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,608
I've been a fan of his
393
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,409
ever since he got out
of Michigan State.
394
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,941
Okay, he went
to Marquette.
395
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,177
Oh, yeah!
396
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,081
Well, damn, look at you!
397
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,553
Basketball fan, too.
Not really.
398
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,652
Dwyane and I were
together for a while.
399
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,094
Oh. Oh, okay.
400
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,390
What do you say after dinner
we go hit up Mercy,
401
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,092
grab some drinks--
so how long's a "while"?
402
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,934
About two years.
403
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,130
It didn't end badly.
404
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,261
We were just making
too many compromises. Yeah, yeah.
405
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,366
(chuckles):
I've been there.
406
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,668
Wow. Dwyane Wade.
407
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,395
I take it you like athletes.
408
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,137
Oh.
409
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,613
Are we at that point?
What you mean?
410
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,981
Thought we'd get to know
each other a bit first,
411
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,051
but okay, we can
cut to the chase.
412
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,350
After Dwyane, it
was Lamar Odom.
413
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,951
We broke up
after one year.
414
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,223
The distance killed us.
415
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,020
After him, it
was Hill Harper.
416
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,052
Eight months.
417
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,287
Met his mom;
sweet lady.
418
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,591
What is your
problem, Derwin?
419
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,392
Damn. It's like that?
420
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,264
Anybody you ain't slept with?
421
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,060
Haven't slept with you.
422
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,626
And I don't plan on it.
423
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,033
Take me home.
424
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,539
Hey, Janay, there goes...
there goes Chad Johnson!
425
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,312
What college he go to?
426
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,411
I don't remember.
427
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,282
We lost touch after prom.
428
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,248
(car alarm chirps)
429
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,431
Yo, I'm putting
the word out.
430
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,733
You are off the
Good Girl List.
431
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,135
Oh, Derwin, please don't
take me off the list.
432
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,598
How will I ever survive?
433
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,306
Hey, don't flip this
to make me look stupid.
434
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,639
Why do you think I date
the kind of guys I date?
435
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,314
Just like y'all
need to weed out
436
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:17,783
the undesirables
on your list, so do I.
437
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,150
(scoffs):
Yeah. Weed out the broke brothers.
438
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:23,280
Trust... I don't need
anybody's money.
439
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,146
Oh. Oh, my bad,
that's right.
440
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,715
That's right.
You have a boutique.
441
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,463
Yeah, I drove by
there yesterday.
442
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,158
People can't get enough
of the bedazzled tank tops.
443
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:34,231
Maybe not, but they do love lids
they can sip coffee through.
444
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,131
What are you
talking about?
445
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,403
My dad... invented
the coffee lid.
446
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,371
So the money you make
catching a little ball,
447
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,341
it doesn't matter to me.
448
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,338
Cheap-ass car.
449
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:52,212
I had one of these
when I was 16. Please.
450
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,046
Janay, can I be
honest with you?
451
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,223
You just were.
452
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,421
No, seriously.
453
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,521
Janay, I-I've had a problem
with this before.
454
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,727
Finding out the girl
that I'm into
455
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:10,299
was hanging out with
all these big-name stars.
456
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,759
Okay? It bothers me.
457
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,230
Hell, it intimidates me.
458
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,268
Okay? I said it.
459
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,505
Then, why don't
you just say that?
460
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,710
Instead of sitting up here
and trying to call me a ho,
461
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,242
'cause you have insecurities?
462
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,078
Janay, I didn't
call you a...
463
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,219
Okay, you're right.
464
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,691
And I'm... and I'm sorry.
465
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,587
(singsong):
Favorite way to make up?
466
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,300
Diamonds.
467
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,370
Okay, second favorite
way to make up?
468
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,298
Oh, right. You got a lot
of making up to do.
469
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:52,306
Now, has the charity committee
decided which organizations
470
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,369
will receive money
from our spring fund-raisers?
471
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,107
We have,
Madame President.
472
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,383
We're supporting
the Reggie White Foundation.
473
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,181
And joining us today
is Sara White.
474
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,753
You Sunbeams really know
how to raise a dollar.
475
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,515
And I want to thank you for
including Reggie's foundation
476
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:09,855
in your largesse.
477
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,819
So... cheers!
478
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,858
ALL:
Cheers!
479
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,495
SERENA:
Sorry I'm late. Oh! Hey, Serena.
480
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,400
I got a seat for you right
here next to Mama Tasha.
481
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,603
Wait. Tasha, she
can't be here.
482
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,244
Girlfriends have to prove at
least a three-month commitment
483
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,511
by documentation or
unplanned pregnancy.
484
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,709
Well, I need
the rules bent.
485
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,310
Now, if not for
our dear friendship,
486
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,312
then for the fact
that I will fire your ass
487
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,454
if you cause me not
to sign her as a client.
488
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,350
Say please.
489
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,421
No.
490
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,248
You said please
in your tone.
491
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,424
Carry on.
492
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,251
And our second charity
is Malik Wright's
493
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,288
Pop Warner Uniforms
for the Underprivileged.
494
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,863
Excellent choice, Erica.
495
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,191
See, Serena, this is
what this is all about:
496
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,257
sisters helping sisters.
497
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,195
And that's important
498
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,399
in any relationship,
business or personal.
499
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,531
But more importantly,
business.
500
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,695
I mention business?
501
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,704
(laughing)
502
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,365
Actually, Malik's new charity
503
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,414
is the Serena Williams
Foundation.
504
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,339
It's tennis lessons
for at-risk youth.
505
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,744
Um, please make that adjustment.
Thank you.
506
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,545
I'm sorry, but did you
run that by Malik?
507
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,280
'Cause he's got
this whole thing
508
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,316
about helping out the
next little Malik Wright.
509
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,251
Oh, no. Believe me,
he'll be fine
510
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,516
with helping out the next
little Serena Williams.
511
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,663
So, are we helping little Malik
or little Serena?
512
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,461
'Cause I'm writing in pen here.
513
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,332
Tasha?
514
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,495
Wh-Why don't we
just put a pin
515
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,973
in that for a minute.
You know what? I don't think so.
516
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,371
And as a matter of fact,
there really only needs
517
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,544
to be one person here
speaking for each player,
518
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:36,843
and I've got Malik,
so you could probably go...
519
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,476
Mama Tasha.
520
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,376
Okay, now.
(laughs)
521
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,454
No, you know what, putting
"Mama Tasha" at the end
522
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:46,353
don't mean you can just talk
to me any old kind of way.
523
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,486
Thank you.
524
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,990
Oh. So I guess you don't want
to be my manager anymore.
525
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,493
Oh, yeah, I get
your slick game.
526
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,856
"Bidness. Did I
mention bidness?"
527
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,195
You know what, you sound
like a broke-ass Jackee.
528
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,373
See? It's not just me.
529
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,943
You know, while you're
still gathering your thoughts,
530
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,312
you need to be
gathering your purse.
531
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,641
You can go.
532
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,814
Ooh!
533
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,315
Ooh, okay, you know what,
I ain't whupped nobody's ass
534
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,648
in a long time, but it's
gonna come back to me.
535
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,824
It's just like riding
a bike. You know what?
536
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,362
'Cause I'm from Richmond,
California. (laughs)
537
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,659
And I'm from Compton.
538
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:24,790
Oh, th Utopia?
539
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,464
With your electricity
and your police?
540
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,404
And don't forget
our phone system.
541
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,659
Hang on. This is for you.
Whah!
542
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,527
(all gasp)
543
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,965
Okay, you done lost your mind
544
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,270
trying to step to me
in my house.
545
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,503
Look, Tasha, our...
546
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,567
I know our floor plans
are kind of similar,
547
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,836
but this is my house.
Kelly! Not now.
548
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,584
SERENA:
You know what?
549
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,510
I would try to fight all y'all,
but it's not even worth it.
550
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:47,906
You know what?
I'm out of here.
551
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,247
That's right. You better run.
552
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,588
Ooh, thanks
for having my back, y'all.
553
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,564
She'd have killed me.
554
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,962
And she just had
to throw the phone!
555
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:06,562
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