Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,683
You know, Brit Brat,
you could actually get up
2
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,382
and turn the TV on yourself.
3
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,284
Can you please just buy
some new batteries?
4
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,387
I found a coupon.
Okay.
5
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,449
Slow down.
They may not be dead.
6
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:20,447
Did you roll them?
7
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:21,558
Yes.
Switch them?
8
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,689
Yes!
Did you do the tongue thing?
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,294
Yes. No shock.
10
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,397
All right, well, put them
in the freezer.
11
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,099
We'll try again tomorrow.
12
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,472
Brittany, school.
13
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,770
Jason, trash.
14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:38,172
Better not be
any old batteries in here.
15
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,166
Hold-- wait a min--
16
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,007
What the hell
17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,110
is my medicine doing
in the garbage?
18
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,314
"Medicine." Cute.
19
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,280
Baby, don't you remember?
20
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:49,416
Today's the big day.
21
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,450
You promised me
22
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,224
you'd stop taking steroids
23
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,793
after your two-month cycle.
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,391
Today marks two months.
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:59,463
Kelly... I'm not stopping.
26
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,763
I'm sorry, what?
27
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,234
You've seen me during the games.
28
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,403
I'm performing
like somebody half my age.
29
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:04,501
I just got my mojo back.
30
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,532
I'm not ready
to give that up yet.
31
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,837
Okeydokey, sweetie.
32
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:15,214
Okeydokey, what?
33
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,453
That's it, you're not
going to say anything? Oh.
34
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,148
Have a great day
at practice.
35
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,680
Mmm!
Knock 'em dead.
36
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:26,251
Kelly, Brit Brat, I'm home!
37
00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:32,356
(singsongy):
Daddy's got a surprise for his two favorite girls.
38
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:35,633
A battery charger!
39
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,673
Hello?
40
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:51,578
What did I say about
leaving out the perishables?
41
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,150
KELLY:
Dear Jason--
42
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,716
You promised to stop taking
steroids in two months,
43
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,234
and obviously you've chosen
to renege on that promise--
44
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,388
yeah, I said "nege"--
45
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,897
so I'm honoring my promise
to take Brittany and leave.
46
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,500
Good-bye.
47
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,778
Y'all...
48
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,823
Oh!
Mercy is sexy tonight.
49
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:28,918
Man, who are
you telling?
50
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,549
Yo, the ladies up
in here is crazy.
51
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,594
Mm.
52
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,923
MALIK:
Are you serious?
53
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,386
Oh, yes, I am definitely
hollering.
54
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,385
Y'all need to fall back.
55
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:41,226
MALIK:
Yeah, you should.
56
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,632
She's checking you out.
57
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,273
Yeah, go ahead, playboy,
show us your skills.
58
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,769
Hold up, all right?
Give me a minute.
59
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,940
Girls love it when you
don't pay them any attention.
60
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,609
Yeah, that's what they love.
61
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:52,609
You just watch, son.
62
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,940
I'm gonna put shorty on ice
63
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:57,214
and wait for her to come
and get some Sunny D.
64
00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:59,445
Man, how many girls
you been with?
65
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,450
Plenty.
66
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,951
Plenty-two or plenty-three?
67
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,353
Let me think.
68
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,315
Does your sister count
as one or two?
69
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,464
DERWIN & MALIK:
Oh!
70
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,359
Hey, hey, hey!
71
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,231
My sister got diabetes.
72
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,430
So, two.
73
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:14,861
(chuckles)
74
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,325
Ooh, ooh,
75
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,334
your girl thawed out.
Here she comes.
76
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,766
It's like I told you, my dude,
tonight I runs Mercy.
77
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,771
You know, took you
long enough to get...
78
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,343
Thanks for
the champagne.
79
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,472
That was real
classy and junk.
80
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,877
Yeah, baby, you was over there
looking kind of thirsty.
81
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,880
Your little birdie
said you wanted me.
82
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,812
Oh, and bam,
here you are.
83
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,316
MALIK:
I like that.
84
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,791
You know what?
85
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:39,649
Go let your girls know
86
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,717
you got a designated driver
for tonight.
87
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,515
All right.
(giggles)
88
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,258
Class dismissed.
89
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,495
*
90
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,798
Mommy, can you order
room service again?
91
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,543
Sure. What theme do you think
we should go with this time?
92
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,799
How about Mexicano?
93
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:57,937
Daddy!
Hey!
94
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,411
(chuckles)
95
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,440
Jason, what are you doing here?
96
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,376
Daddy, it's Girls' Weekend.
97
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,381
Me and Mommy get to
hang out and play games.
98
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,053
No boys allowed.
Hey, hey,
99
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,750
Daddy likes playing
games, too.
100
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,382
Mommy just plays
them better.
101
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,888
Right, Kel?
102
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,449
Baby, why don't you
go hop in the shower
103
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:16,317
and get ready for our
after-dinner shiatsu massages?
104
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,487
This is living.
105
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:18,494
Good night, Daddy.
106
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,626
Peace, sweetie.
107
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,595
How the hell did you find us?
108
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,601
Oh, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.
109
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,303
Are you forgetting who I am?
110
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,535
This is San Diego, baby.
111
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,369
This is my town.
These are my people.
112
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,844
I'm Jason Pitts,
King of the Sabers.
113
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,412
I got a sandwich named after me.
114
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,311
God, it's peanut butter
and jelly.
115
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,483
It's a P.B. and Jason.
116
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,350
You better get it right.
117
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,478
That's not the point.
The point is,
118
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,483
you took my daughter,
and you left without permission,
119
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,345
subjecting her
to these living conditions.
120
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,585
This is... it's a crime.
121
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,519
You ought to be happy
122
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,464
I didn't call the cops,
have you arrested.
123
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,759
That's funny because
the last time I checked,
124
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,331
shooting up steroids while
playing a professional sport
125
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,701
was a crime, too.
126
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,558
Care to share that
information with the cops?
127
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,467
Kelly, you've changed.
128
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,599
(sighs)
Get out of my hotel room.
129
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,674
(incredulous laugh)
130
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,772
Oh, oh, this is
your hotel room? Yeah.
131
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,365
Okay, okay.
132
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,537
Well, we'll see how long
they'll let you stay here
133
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,476
when I cut your
credit cards off.
134
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,451
(exasperated sigh)
135
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,549
Unless, of course, they
take Sunbeam credit,
136
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,581
which I doubt.
(laughs)
137
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,645
I don't need your money.
138
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,394
Mommy's got her own.
139
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,849
Really? Do you?
140
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,087
What, the chicken scratch
Tasha pays you?
141
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,432
News flash, Jason:
142
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,558
I've been putting away money
143
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,033
ever since we got married
for emergencies like this.
144
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,031
What?
145
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,632
It's called "mad money."
146
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,634
(softly):
You mad?
147
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,625
You...
148
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,596
I can't believe
you've been stealing my money.
149
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,996
Ugh.
Now I know how Shaq felt.
150
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,607
Here we go.
151
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,469
Once again, Jason's the victim.
152
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,108
You're the one who made a
promise to stop taking steroids.
153
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,942
And you're the one who should
know I can't stop taking them
154
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:44,907
until I get my new contract.
155
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,675
How else am I supposed
to make enough money
156
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,024
for you to steal from me?!
157
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,448
You know this isn't about
some stupid contract.
158
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,724
We have more than enough money
in our bank account.
159
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,993
$53 million,
to be exact. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
160
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,522
We're quoting
exact figures now?
161
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,827
Yeah.
Is that what we're doing?
162
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,458
You know what?
I've heard enough.
163
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,003
Pack your things.
We're leaving now.
164
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,799
Me and Brittany aren't
going anywhere.
165
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,031
Not until you stop
taking steroids.
166
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,096
You think this is
a joke, Kelly?
167
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,874
Am I laughing?
168
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:09,942
Quit.
169
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,740
No.
170
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,946
You have five seconds
to get out of here
171
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,478
before I call the
police and the press
172
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,724
and tell them what their
precious "King of the Sabers"
173
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,190
is really doing to get
them to the championship.
174
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,718
You wouldn't do it.
175
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,024
Oh, really?
176
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,186
All right, fine,
fine, fine.
177
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,893
You want to play it
that way? Cool, cool.
178
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:36,826
But know this: You and I...
us... we... are over.
179
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,004
(ring clinks on floor)
180
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,113
(door slamming)
181
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,108
(sobbing)
182
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,848
Divorce?! Oh, we got to
celebrate your emancipation.
183
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,158
Tasha!
184
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,689
What? I'm happy she out
185
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,764
from under his big,
old, yellow thumb.
186
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,104
Oh, look, and just make sure
187
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,598
you get joint custody
of Brittany
188
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,600
so we can get our weekends on.
189
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,472
Tasha, I don't want
to be single.
190
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:18,042
Oh, please, it's a whole
new world out there.
191
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,071
Single's the new married.
192
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,907
Jason doesn't
want a divorce.
193
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,183
People say things
they don't mean
194
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,381
all the time
during arguments.
195
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:28,082
Do you remember that time
Tasha and I were going at it,
196
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,945
and she called
me a whore?
197
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,083
She didn't
mean it.
198
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,488
Oh, I meant it.
199
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,120
I serves it up straight,
just like my liquor.
200
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,755
All I wanted to do
was get his attention.
201
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,231
I didn't think
it would turn into divorce.
202
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,660
Nobody's going to want to date
203
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,925
a washed-up, middle-aged,
single mother.
204
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,695
You know what I'm saying.
205
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,644
Aw...
206
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,670
But what happened?
207
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,265
Why'd you leave?
208
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,237
He's...
209
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,007
He...
210
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,747
(voice cracking):
I don't know.
211
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,222
Aw, Kelly, come on,
you can tell us anything.
212
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,851
We're your friends.
Yeah.
213
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:06,886
Did he beat you?
214
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,061
Cheat on you?
215
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,189
Beat you?
216
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,133
No, Tasha.
217
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,160
Jason never laid a finger on me.
218
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,104
In fact, I think the maddest
I've ever seen him
219
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,800
was last night when I told him
about my secret savings account.
220
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,742
You have a secret
savings account?
221
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,041
Mm-hmm, that's right, girl.
222
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:28,182
Battered women always have
to have an escape plan.
223
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,808
And you know what?
It's a good thing
224
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,143
you getting out now while
you still got your looks,
225
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,878
'cause everybody know
white women don't age well.
226
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,284
You know what
I'm saying.
227
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,786
(crying):
It's so true.
228
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,760
Oh... Hey, look, why don't
you just call Jason
229
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,189
so you guys can talk?
230
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,192
Forget the talking!
231
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,064
Look, let's go to the club!
232
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,732
Let's live it up!
233
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,900
You know, what
is with you?
234
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,058
My God,
235
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,196
she has a child
and a marriage.
236
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,701
And I have psoriasis
and an itchy scalp.
237
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:54,944
What's your point?
238
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,838
My point is, you're
doing the same thing
239
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,770
to Kelly that you did
to me during my breakup.
240
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,207
You're being
a hater.
241
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,181
Excuse me?
242
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,580
Yeah. You're like that
stereotypical friend
243
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,953
who's bitter and single
244
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,080
and wants to drag
everybody else down with you.
245
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,193
I got your whore.
246
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,123
And I suppose you agree?
247
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:23,203
*
248
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,800
Yo, J, man, I'm gonna need
your help on this one.
249
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,837
Check out baby girl
in the silver.
250
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,112
Ooh!
251
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,210
'Cause I'm gonna try
and holler at her.
252
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,242
For real?
253
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,606
Well, what you
want me to do?
254
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,605
Help you ignore her?
255
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,977
Nah, man, I want
you to deliver
256
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,784
this bottle of champagne
over there to her for me.
257
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:43,776
What?!
Yeah.
258
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:44,917
Hell, no!
259
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,922
Man, what do I look like,
some punk-ass errand boy?
260
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,264
Fool, I'm a third-
string running back.
261
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,318
Been on 11 teams
in five years.
262
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,327
You'd better
recognize, Ding-Dong.
263
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,929
(scoffing):
Yeah, whatever.
264
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,872
It's about to
be 12, man.
265
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,898
JUVON:
Good luck, Sunny D.
266
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,865
How you doing?
How you doing?
267
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,977
Hey.
268
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,979
How are you doing, mami?
269
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,951
Mmm!
(chuckles)
270
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:13,910
You know,
271
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,277
I saw you sitting here
looking all thirsty,
272
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,747
so I thought you might
like some champagne.
273
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,817
I'm more of a martini mami.
274
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,016
But thanks.
275
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,987
Okay.
276
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,326
We'll be right back.
277
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:32,872
May I?
278
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,006
Mmm.
279
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,338
I knew it.
280
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,012
I knew you was over here
drinking that premium vodka.
281
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,982
I mean, you definitely
strike me as a lady
282
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,851
who likes the finer
things in life,
283
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,219
which is why I think we'd
be perfect for each other.
284
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,878
You're gonna replace
that, right?
285
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,187
Baby, I'll buy
the bar for you.
286
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,219
I just want a
clean drink.
287
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,923
I had, like,
two sips.
288
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,115
(laughing)
289
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,926
My bad.
290
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,928
I didn't think you'd mind
sharing your drink
291
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,060
with the Sabers'
starting wide receiver.
292
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,995
Oh, wow.
293
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,471
So you're a Saber?
294
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,868
Yeah, yeah.
295
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,200
But enough of all that.
296
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,896
Yo, peep this.
297
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,338
Why don't you tell
your girls bye...
298
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,413
Mm-hmm.
299
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,211
...let me knock
this bill out.
300
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,283
We'll let the top
down on my Porsche...
301
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,911
Mmm.
Oh, so necessary.
302
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,347
Yeah.
303
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,021
Unless you have hair issues.
304
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,950
Oh, no.
305
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:28,055
Then we jump in my chopper,
heli up the coast,
306
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,388
hit wine country.
307
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,392
Ooh.
308
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,363
Maybe try some
of that Chablis.
309
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,062
You can get your cheese on.
310
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:34,834
(giggles)
311
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,162
Some people like it
with crackers.
312
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,972
You just made my night.
313
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:41,971
(both laughing)
314
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,042
I know, right?
315
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,140
That's what I do.
316
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:48,984
(cackling)
317
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,309
You laughing a little
too hard there.
318
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,945
Got a funny story
with crackers?
319
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,522
I'm sorry.
320
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,949
I'm sorry. It's just you.
321
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,986
Me?
Fronting
322
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:04,931
like you're Big Willie with
your heli and your Chablis.
323
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,188
That's not you.
324
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,896
Uh... A-And how do you know?
325
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,259
Uh... Well,
first of all,
326
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,798
I think you
would have known
327
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,543
to send the $500
bottle of Cristal Rosé
328
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:20,508
and not the $100 bottle
of... whatever this is.
329
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,040
Okay, so what you're
saying, I'm cheap?
330
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,206
I'm saying you're
not that guy.
331
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,015
Look at you. You're
wearing a crucifix.
332
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,278
Not a blinged-out cross.
333
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,146
Be real.
334
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,153
You probably go to
church every Sunday.
335
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,815
(sighs)
336
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,555
Okay, so I dabble
in the Lord a little bit.
337
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,130
Oh-oh, may I?
338
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,966
Cranberry juice.
339
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,199
You don't drink, do you?
340
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,236
No, um...
341
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,910
Actually, I have stock
in cranberries, so...
342
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,042
You're probably a
sweet and humble guy
343
00:12:57,077 --> 00:13:00,177
who got mixed up
in all this BS.
344
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,181
Let me give you
some advice.
345
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,846
In the future...
346
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,315
drop the big baller act.
347
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,493
Just be yourself.
348
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,192
(chuckles)
349
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,055
Wow.
350
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,461
You know what?
You're right.
351
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,255
Um...
352
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,867
C-Can we just start over?
353
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,870
Huh? Please. I mean...
354
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,342
I'm Derwin Davis.
355
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,970
Good guy.
356
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,006
Cheyenne Kester.
357
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,111
Too late.
358
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,482
Okay, let's see.
359
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,486
She had the all-you-can-eat
salad bar...
360
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,019
$6.99.
361
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,056
Broccoli cheddar soup.
362
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,031
Tuna sandwich.
363
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:54,273
Not only did she steal my money,
she clearly snuck in some carbs.
364
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,471
Horse.
365
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,942
(knocking at door)
366
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,180
Nobody's home.
367
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,210
Jason, we need to talk.
368
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,245
Let me guess.
You talked to Kelly.
369
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,050
You damn right I did.
370
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,352
And what the hell is all this?
371
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,393
A few receipts I've saved
over the years.
372
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,319
I was itemizing some
of the purchases Kelly made
373
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,324
during our marriage.
374
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,655
Say what?
375
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,859
Well, even though the pre-nup
376
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,261
says she only gets a million,
I'm hoping these receipts
377
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,233
will show that she has burned
through that already.
378
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,674
Okay, it's ridiculous.
379
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,668
No, no.
380
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,199
What's ridiculous is 150 bucks
381
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,335
for teeth-whitening.
382
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,239
How about just
brushing your teeth?
383
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,612
That horse.
384
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,080
All right.
Jason, look.
385
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,210
What I'm about to say goes
against everything I believe,
386
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,276
but I'm just
gonna say it.
387
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,954
I think you and Kelly...
388
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,154
(mumbles)
389
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,657
Huh?
390
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,986
(mumbling)
391
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,325
Tasha, did you forget
392
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,100
to swallow a chicken bone
or something?
393
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,302
Good one.
394
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,972
I said that I think
you and Kelly
395
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,235
need to try and work things out.
396
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,713
She's miserable, Jason.
She should be.
397
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,340
She should be.
She walked out on me.
398
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,236
She took my kid.
She's been stealing my money.
399
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:14,308
Anybody capable of that is
not committed to a marriage.
400
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,547
Okay, so I guess
you were committed
401
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,322
when you were giving her all
of those bruises and black eyes.
402
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,321
Huh?
What are...?
403
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,992
I never hit Kelly.
404
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,322
Okay, it was worth a try.
405
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,027
All right, look.
406
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,729
Anybody that has tolerated
you and this
407
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,261
and your controlling behavior
for eight years
408
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,327
is obviously committed
to this marriage.
409
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,565
Now, frankly,
410
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,000
I don't know too many women
411
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,535
who would have stayed this long.
412
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,369
And definitely
not no black ones.
413
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:41,265
That's a good point.
414
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,978
My next wife's going
to be Asian.
415
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,352
Wh-Why do you care
what happens to us?
416
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,221
I don't care about you.
417
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,720
I care about Kelly.
418
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,421
She loves you.
419
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,293
You love her.
420
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,121
Now, if you go
through this divorce,
421
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,426
you're gonna lose a lot more
than just your money.
422
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,169
(Jason exhales, door opens)
423
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,628
(dog barking in distance)
424
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,666
(door closes)
425
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,242
(knocking at door)
426
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,444
Would you get
the door?
427
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,376
Thank you.
428
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,381
(clears throat)
429
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,722
Holy crap!
430
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,720
You're Jason Pitts!
431
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,691
I love you!
Thanks.
432
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,189
Hey, sorry to hear about
the P.B. and Jason.
433
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,392
What do you mean?
434
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,433
They replaced it
with the Derwin Dog.
435
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,100
You know what?
Could you just go?
436
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,368
Hey.
437
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,529
Hey.
438
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,197
Daddy, check out
the toes.
439
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,406
Oh, those are rocking.
440
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,208
Baby, hey, could you
give me and Mommy a...
441
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,111
a minute to talk
in private?
442
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,283
Again?
443
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,351
Just a minute.
444
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,320
Uh-uh-uh.
Walk on your heels.
445
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,389
(Brittany hums, Jason chuckles)
446
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,287
Listen, um...
447
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,757
I've been thinking about
what I said to you, and...
448
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,297
I didn't mean it.
449
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,233
I don't want
to get a divorce.
450
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,367
You don't?
No.
451
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,165
No, of course not.
Baby, I love you.
452
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,437
I love this family,
453
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,243
and, believe me,
I want to do what's right.
454
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,236
It's just...
455
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,647
It's hard, you know.
456
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,778
There's a lot
of pressure, and...
457
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,145
Baby,
458
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,783
I know it's hard.
459
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,288
But we can get
through this.
460
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,290
I know.
461
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,191
I know we can,
and that is why
462
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,234
I've decided to stop.
463
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,398
I'm done, I'm done,
464
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,430
and I am so sorry
for everything.
465
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,166
I'm sorry, too.
466
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,602
I didn't mean
to hurt you.
467
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,108
I don't want
to lose you.
468
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:55,681
Look.
469
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,748
Oh.
470
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,779
I think this
belongs to you.
471
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,454
I am so sorry.
472
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,445
Me, too.
473
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,686
Mmm.
474
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,826
Mommy, is room service
here yet?!
475
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,825
You guys got
room service again?
476
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,567
What, y'all couldn't pack
some Lunchables?
477
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,842
Not yet, sweetie!
478
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,511
Mommy will let you know
when they get here!
479
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,510
Now...
480
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,511
Where were we?
481
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,442
I'm serious, Kel.
482
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,447
There is
483
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,609
a perfectly good taco truck
on the corner.
484
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,847
What?
You know
485
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,352
room service is marked up 20%
486
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,394
plus the, the service fee,
the built-in tip,
487
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,519
not to mention you always tip
on top of the tip.
488
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,764
You don't read the fine print,
489
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,289
and it's not
because you can't.
490
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,464
It's 'cause you're lazy.
491
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,932
You're lazy
with my money, Kel.
492
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,629
Are you kidding me?
493
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,301
Am I laughing?
494
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,730
Jason, we have
serious problems.
495
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,834
Yeah, I know.
496
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,266
That's what
I'm trying to say.
497
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,702
Which reminds me, I'm
gonna need that PIN number
498
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,336
for the secret account
you were talking about.
499
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,277
What?
500
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,409
Oh...
501
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,883
Okay, great.
502
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:05,881
So I-I'm the bad guy.
503
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:06,882
Yes, you are!
504
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,883
I gave up the steroids, Kelly.
What do you want?
505
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,315
Jason, it is more than
just the steroids.
506
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,551
It's what the
steroids represent.
507
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,886
The lying, the secrets.
508
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:19,432
You... being a jerk!
509
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,559
Me?
510
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,233
Me? You took my money,
511
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,962
my daughter, the interest I
would have made on said money.
512
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,227
To get your attention.
513
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,237
I don't know how else to
get through to you anymore.
514
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,910
BRITTANY:
Mommy, is room service here yet?!
515
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,909
I am really
hungry.
516
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,252
Not yet, sweetie!
517
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,408
Just grab something
out of the minibar.
518
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,807
Minib-- no, no.
519
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,448
Brit Brat, you're gonna have
to be hungry for a little bit.
520
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,824
Jason,
521
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,592
we need to go
to counseling.
522
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,920
Counseling?! Kelly...
523
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,355
Couldn't we just watch
Oprah or something?
524
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,360
Jason!
525
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,561
You know what? Fine.
526
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,892
Fine, whatever's gonna put
an end to this hell,
527
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:55,897
I am all for it.
528
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:56,898
Okay?
529
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,399
Let's go.
Let's get out of here
530
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,301
before the room service
gets here. No.
531
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,541
We're not scheduled
to leave until tomorrow.
532
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,870
Kel, you got the steroids,
you got the counseling.
533
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:06,735
Don't push it.
534
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,943
Jason, I dragged
our daughter into this,
535
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,605
and I'm not gonna make her pay
by canceling Girls' Weekend.
536
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,275
I promised.
537
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:17,953
All right.
538
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,254
Good night.
539
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,287
Good night.
540
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,891
(sighs)
541
00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:31,491
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36309
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof