All language subtitles for The Game s02e01 Diary of a Mad Black Woman.eng

Previously, on The Game...

Hey, there's Derwin.

What do he
think he doing?

Talk to you later,
all right?

Cool.
All right.

You're messing up, boy.

You guys saw
Drew's video.

Look, I know it looks like
something's going on,

but it's not.

I want us to talk.

Talk about what?

About us getting married.

Melanie wants me to
propose to her again.

Okay. Well, isn't that
what you wanted?

No!

Hope it was worth it.

I have to tell
Melanie, man.

It's about Drew.

About Drew? Wha...

Okay, after the video,
we started texting each other

and talking to each other
on the phone.

Derwin, you look me
in the face right now

and tell me you didn't
sleep with her!

No. I wouldn't
do that to you.

I know you and Drew
slept together.

So... I guess the only person
who doesn't know is me.

Huh, Derwin?

Mel.

Mm.

Just so we're clear...

...it's over.

What you looking at?

Low-self-esteem bitch!

Okay, you need
to back the hell up.

You know, not that you
owe me anything, but damn, I am another black woman.

(scoffs):
Barely.

Oh, don't let the
bougie fool you,

'cause I will whup
your... Your what? You will what?

DERWIN:
Melanie! Mel!

Melanie! Mel!
Get out of my face!

No!

Keep him.

Mel!
You know,

I hope you wore a condom
with that skank!

Hey!
Actually,

I hope you didn't, 'cause you
deserve whatever you get!

Mel. Melanie.
The quicker you get me

the hell up out of here,
the better for all of us.

Baby, I'm sorry.
Oh, you can't be serious!

Look, boo, I wanted
to tell you everything...

You're a coward, Derwin!

You lied to my face
and brought me here,

knowing you had
sex with her!

Code three, we have a player
who cheated on his girl.

She's just finding out.

Get that Toyota Camry
up here fast, fast, fast. Leave me alone!

Mel, just-just calm down.

Don't tell me
to calm down!

Church boy.
(mocking laugh)

All that falling on
your knees, praying.

You're a hypocrite!

Look at you, with
your stupid do-rag,

(laughter)
and your clown suit,

looking like a damn
Chicago two-step champion!

(laughter, groans)

Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Melanie, okay?

'Cause you're not
so innocent yourself.

You know what, baby,
I wanted to marry you. Oh, shut up!

And take it!

I'm tired of hearing
how I turned you down

because I needed
to study!

Well, damn, you need
to study that much,

then maybe you're not
supposed to be a doctor.

What did you
just say? Come on.

You weren't
supportive, Melanie.

You know it and I know it.

Baby, from day one,
you fought being here.

Here we go.
You fought... you fought the Sunbeams!

And you fought the fact
that I'm a professional football player!

Okay, okay,
Derwin messed up!

But she was there
for me, Melanie.

Where were you?
I was in a relationship!

And where was
your punk ass?

In bed with
somebody else.

MAN:
Ma'am, your car is here.

Mel, please...
I gave up everything for you!

Yeah, and I
gave you a ring!

Baby, I'm the one
paying for your tuition!

Hell, I'm the one who bought
you this car you drivin'!

Oh, yeah.
(scoffs)

You did.

Punk ass!

Mel! Let's just talk.

Mel, the car!

(car crashes, people gasp,
car alarm blares)

Ouch!
Excuse me, excuse me.

What'd I miss?

Just-just tell the driver
I'm wearing a copper dress.

Yes, copper!

Uh... somewhere on Sepulveda,

down the street
from the Angeleno Hotel.

No, I can't go back there.

Just have them find me
down the street--

(horn honks)

Med school!

Please hurry.

I have some backstabbers
following me.

Kill the dramatics.

Melanie, come on,
get in the car.

That look might have
worked in the club,

but outside,
it screams hooker.

You know what, I knew something
was up when you guys drove

all the way down to San Diego
to check up on your... girl.

Uh-uh, was she doing me?

Is that how I sound?

Melanie, we tried.

Yeah, to make me look like
I was the one

that was messing up
my relationship

when you knew he was screwing
around with Drew.

Okay, look, in our defense,
we weren't a hundred percent.

So we didn't want to say
anything just in case

we misinterpreted his hand
on the nape of her ass.

Oh, what else would it be,
Tasha?

Look, I don't know, okay,

and I'm really not used
to you yelling at me

and impersonating
me like this.

You know what?

I thought we were friends.

We ar friends.

We love you.

Tell her, Tasha.

Yeah, yeah, all that.

Okay, but we can't go
causing commotion.

Now Derwin is important
to the Saber organization.

I don't give a flying...

You know what?

I'm just glad I found out
where your loyalties lie.

Sunbeam sisterhood my ass.

You know, somebody really
should've got out.

Run after her at least.

DERWIN (on recording):
You're not so innocent yourself!

You know, I wanted to marry you.
Here, it is. Ooh!

Damn, he got the Drew
slapped out of him. (Jason laughs)

Yo, Malik.

Seriously, dawg.

You look at it this way.

This entire spectacle,
dawg, has taken

the unwanted attention away
from that red suit you got on.

(laughing)

Yo, Malik, bro, okay?

Not now.
All right, all right, all right, all right.

BOTH:
Hey, Malik.

Hey, ladies.

What's up, mama?

Hey, look, all jokes aside, man,
this is a serious moment.

I'm going to be serious
with you, for real.

What time does Steve Harvey
need his suit back?

Yo, yo, yo.

I told you not now.

Negro, have you
lost your mind?

What's good, man?
Hey, hey, hey, D, D, D.

You already lost your girl,
don't lose your life, man.

He's from the streets--
who knows what

he's got in his trunk,
so let's just...

Oh, no, bro, I ain't got
to do a damn thing.

Girl Melanie's on the open
market now, who's got next?

Hey, hey, hey,
whoa, yo, yo, yo.

Why you pushing me, man?
Get off!

Hey, hey, hey.

All right,
that was foul, Malik.

Yeah, I know, dawg.
That was foul.

Although it's a good question,
I mean, she's single,

she's attractive,
she's vulnerable.

If there was ever a time to try
to... (whistles), I would...

You crossed the line
with that, Malik.

That was foul!

This can't be
happening to me, man.

Look, man, I know
it seems bad now,

but it's not really over.

You just, you give...

nah, yeah, no,
this is pretty much the end.

Yeah.

(sighs)

(sighs) You think
she's dead?

Could be.

You know they never report
when a black woman dies.

Wow, how could you
make even this moment racial?

Hello, I'm Tasha Mack,
racial investigator.

(both laughing)

(knocking)

Oh, my God, thank you.

There she is.

Mm-hmm.

I wasn't really expecting
an all-out city search,

but come on, bitches.

I've looked harder for my keys.

I could've been dead.

"Bitches"? You know, you could
have been dead for real.

Oh, Tasha, stop it.

Sweetie, we're really
excited to see you. Mm.

Trust me when I say
we were drunk with worry. Mm-hmm.

You don't look homeless.

Now, where you been?

In L.A., with a college friend.

Mm...

And now you're back to work
things out with Derwin?

Two days out there
without him was rough, huh?

It's okay if you
want him back.

She better not
want him back.

Hey, I am all for making
him pay.

But I don't think
she should walk away.

They clearly love each other
and better he mess up now

than after they get married.

This way she can guilt him
into all kinds of stuff.

Did that work
for you, Kelly?

You think Jason
wanted this big house?

Look, I say once a cheater,
he's always going to cheat.

That's not true.

Jason got it out of his system.

Why do you think we only have
an above-ground pool?

Look, I don't need
your advice, okay?

I need you to get my things.

Well, all I got is advice.

I don't want to see Derwin.

And the way
I figure it,

my exit strategy
wouldn't involve this hiccup,

had you two booze bags told me

he was cheating on me
in the first place.

Okay, you going to call me
one more name

and this is going to be over.

All right, we're your friends.

We owe you.

Mm-mm. I do not get involved
in domestic squabbles.

That's how people get shot.

Or grazed.

JASON:
For real, dude, the bandage,

it makes you look like you
caught a bullet in your face.

Whatever, bro,
this right here

is going to help my case.
Let it go, man.

For what?
'Cause we don't need this right now.

I'm dropping my case.

Listen, me and
you were jerks.

We talk too much trash and,
as funny as that trash may be,

sometimes we deserve to
get punched in the face.

We didn't order
these, partner. Yeah, yeah,

and take it off the bill 'cause
we're not paying for it.

Matter of fact,
comp the meal for our inconvenience, thank you.

We already comp you, Mr. Pitts.

Oh, well, then
there's wiggle room

for taking care
of my parking.

Look, these are for him--

from his biggest fans.

Wow.

Literal translation.

Yeah, man, it's been going on

ever since he kissed Renee
on national television.

It got Most Viewed on YouTube.

Hey, man, you
a fat girl's dream.

Well, second dream.

Right, right.

But, I mean, actually
it's cool, though, right, Malik?

I mean, you always
had a fetish for big girls.

What, what are you
talking about, man?

You know you used to
like all them sitcoms.

Facts of Life,
Give Me a Break, Roseanne.

Those are all classic sitcoms.

All right, damn, whatever.
I like 'em big. So?

DERWIN:
For real.

What's it like being
with a big girl?

'Cause I'd imagine it's like
being in a moon bounce.

Whatever, dawg.
It's like this.

I like being with big women

'cause they the opposite
of me. They soft.

Right, like a moon bounce.

Boy, shut up, you work for me.

You know, truth be told,
Kelly's mom is a biggum.

That's why I put a "no-fatty"
clause in our pre-nup.

Actually,

Malik has classical taste.

I mean, this obsession
with the waif-like figure's

only a recent phenomenon.

For centuries
the Rubenesque female form

was the standard of beauty.

Right. (scoffs)

So stop hating on a brother
for liking Ruben-ass women, Jay.

Oh, oh, oh!

We forgot her hair-care product.

And?
And?

The one thing I've learned
is that a black woman

can't be separated
from her product.

Oh, look, forget that, girl.

I don't want to be here
when Derwin gets here.

We've got to save her hair.

The last thing a woman wants
is to break up

and then look to' up.

Okay, after today,
you need a break from me.

Come on.

(sighs)

TASHA:
Oh, hell.

What are you all doing?

Derwin, the film
you're starring in is called The Cheat.

And unfortunately,
we've been cast as the supportive friends

taking out your
ex-girlfriend's stuff,

because she can't bear to
see your deceitful face.

And... action.

Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

You aren't going anywhere
with this stuff. Okay, wait.

Just so you know,
I'm strapped with pepper spray,

so you might want
to step to the left.

Go ahead
and spray me, then, Tasha.

You can't hurt a dead man.

Aw!

(clicks tongue)

He's hurting.

Oh, well, maybe
if your name was Jesus,

you could help, but it ain't.

Come on.

Oh, Kelly, I
messed up bad.

Oh, Derwin, it's okay.

No, it's not.

Look, this is no different
than Ike wanting sympathy

after he beat Tina's ass.

I bet Ike was abused as a child.

(Tasha scoffs)

Were you abused as a child?

Where's Melanie going?

Is she going back home?

None of your damn business.

Now come on, Kelly.

My allegiance belongs
to my Sunbeam sister,

but the fact that you teared up
is duly noted.

Yo, it's not over, Kelly.

Melanie and I have been together
way too long

and been through way too much.

My baby is going to walk
through... through that door,

and we're going to fix it.

We're all
rooting for you.

Don't speak for me.

Ladies, I...

I guess I didn't
make myself clear.

You guys aren't going anywhere
with her stuff.

You ain't got
to shoot me twice...

Way to fight for your girl.

Diabetes, high
blood pressure, gout,

uh, trouble
finding cute jeans,

lotions become
a major expense.

But you just spent 20 minutes
listing the cons.

What are some of the pros
of dating a big woman, Tee Tee?

Okay.

(clears throat)

Okay. Uh...

Yeah, this is going to
be a little harder, man.

If you don't find
some pros real quick,

your ass is going
to be homeless.

(scoffs)

All right, look,
they're usually cute in the face, right?

Mm-hmm.

Typically jolly.

You know?
Really?

Um, great parking,
'cause you know, Hmm.

them handicapped placards--

you can just pull
right in front. Yeah, so...

So this is a joke
to you, huh?

Is this funny to you, Tee Tee?

No, man, I'm just saying.

What are you saying?

I'm just saying that
it's not healthy.

What's going on?

Ooh, and what smells so good?

Man, Malik got outed
for liking fat girls,

so the offensive line
sent over this basket

of fried foods and delectables.

But mostly fried foods.

Oh. Okay, well,
I get the hot wings,

but what's up with the leopard
picnic blanket?

Mom...

Oh, Lord.
Oh!

Mom, it's one thing for me
to be a joke, all right?

I don't mind that.

But I don't want these
girls to be a joke.

I don't want Renee
to be a joke.

She ain't a
joke to me, Ma.

Damn, I had a good
fat joke, too. Oh, come on now.

No, I'm going
to stall you out, baby,

'cause that was really sweet
what you said.

Well, sweet ain't helping
this situation right now.

Come on, you're Malik Wright.

You're your own man.

You don't follow the trends,
you set them.

Okay? It may take a minute

for the rest of the world
to catch on, but they always do.

So, just remember, do you.

Huh?

That's what's up, Ma.

Down here listening
to this fool.

(laughs)

Ooh, I thought of another pro.

Actually, no, it's a con.
My bad.

(door opening)

Oh, thank you, God.

I've come to get my stuff.

Mel, we need
to talk.

What is there
to say but bye?

Baby, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry

for trying to flip the script
on you the other night.

I-I... I don't know
what that was about.

Except you were leaving...

Boo, my whole life flashed
in front of my eyes.

The girls said they
packed my things.

Oh, come on, Melanie.

Come on, Mel.

Can you help me
with my stuff?

Baby, you think
I let this-this world...

No, no.

I know, I let this world
get me away from who I am.

You know, the praying
and the Bible studying,

and the going to church
more regularly.

You know what? I'll just come
back when you're not here.

No, Mel! Talk to me.

Hit me, spit on me,
do something.

Baby, just talk to me, please.

You're not
even worth it.

It's over.

No, it's not, Mel.

Oh, my God,
Derwin!

Melanie,
you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You get your stuff?
No.

Man, what the hell
are you doing here?

Huh? And you-- I know
you didn't waltz your ass up in my house!

Um, there's probably two large
black suitcases in the bedroom.

Look, Derwin,
we just want to get her stuff

and get her out of here.

You ain't taking
her stuff, man.

(gasps)

Oh, boy, you better get
your hands off of me.

Or what? You're going
to stay hemmed up?

You got him?

I got this.

Man, you ain't
got nothing!

Look, the more you struggle,
the more it's going to hurt.

Trey, Trey,
don't hurt him, please.

Ain't nobody hurt.
Nobody hurt.

Yo, just get Mel
out of here.

Come on, Mel,
let's go.

You don't want
to see this.

You better get your
hands off me, boy.

Look, look,
it's not personal.

All right? We just want
to get Melanie out of here.

I hope you have a good season.

(door slams)

(panting)

Damn it!

(phone clatters)

MAN:
Fat Burger-- Malik and Mo'nique, take one. Action!

Okay. Okay.

Fat Burger, now
open even later.

Malik Wright says embrace
that midnight snack.

Mmm! And the women
who love it.

Mmm! 'Cause skinny bitches
never eat after 6:00.

(laughing)
Cut!

Okay, okay, okay, y'all,
I'm crazy. Let's get it right.

Stop trying
to rub my ass, Malik.

You're making
me nervous.

No, you're trying
to rub my ass. I... It's a...

That's why we can't
say it right. Now come on.

Don't put your hands
on my ass, Malik, okay?

I got you.
Yeah, okay.

Now if you're going
to do it, do it right. Okay.

Don't just swipe it,
you got to grab it. Okay, let's go.

Okay, let's do it.
Take two, come on.

(beep)
Action.

And the women
who love it.

(giggling)

'Cause skinny bitches
don't eat. Ever.

(laughing)

I didn't know
you was a chubby chaser.

Yeah, baby.
I appreciate that.

Okay, we going
to do it right.

Okay, come on,
let's get it right.

Take two, take it.

(beep)
Okay, roll sound, roll camera.

And the women
who love it.

Mmm. 'Cause skinny bitches
don't eat. Ever.

(laughing)

All right, y'all. Y'all know
I ain't right. I'm crazy.

Okay. Come on now,
let's do it for real.

Let's do it for real.

All right, we ready?
Mama gotta get home.

Stop smacking, sugar, that's
not cute or sexy or nothing.

Okay, cool, I'm
just checking my mouth.

Okay, but-but be cool
with that, okay?

I got you, okay.
Now wait a minute. You ready?

All right,
be sexy when... I'm nervous,

Get it together.
Okay. Let's go again, people.

Okay, okay, okay, y'all,
I'm crazy. Let's get it right.

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