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1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,168
(groans)
Man, this is some bull!
2
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:06,037
This TV's got too much glare!
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,577
Tee Tee!
4
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,511
Boy, wake up.
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,176
Brush your teeth
and get my rep on the phone.
6
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,014
Your TV rep?
7
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,850
The glare rep.
8
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,315
Malik...
9
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,354
if you don't get that boy
out of this house...
10
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,449
It's midnight and y'all got
practice in the morning.
11
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,091
And some of y'all
need to practice.
12
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,087
And, Tee Tee,
clean up these damn boxes.
13
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,689
This ain't
your grandmama's house.
14
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,460
Good game, man.
15
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,301
All right, Rookie,
how much I owe you?
16
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,526
Nah, man, it's cool.
17
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,641
What? Boy, I
said I owe you.
18
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,043
And Malik Wright
always pays his debt.
19
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,406
No matter what
you heard.
20
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,544
You haven't heard
anything, have you?
21
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,010
Nah.
22
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,778
Cool, cool.
23
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,176
So how much?
24
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:51,048
Well, won 19 games
at $100 a game, so...
25
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,549
So... how much is that?
26
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,361
$1,900.
27
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,827
There you go.
28
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,634
Thanks, man.
29
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,526
But, Malik...
30
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:08,668
I'm not sure I can cash a
check made out to "Rookie."
31
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,236
My bad, man.
32
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:14,074
"The... Rookie."
33
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,585
Daddy, Daddy,
look at my booty.
34
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,015
Look at your what?
35
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,559
Her pirate booty.
36
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,264
Jeremy Swanson's
birthday party-- real swords,
37
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,897
real pirate ships,
real pirates.
38
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,603
Sounds real expensive.
39
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,895
Also, real dry.
40
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,366
The only thing they didn't
have was a real bar.
41
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,403
Jeremy's mom's in A.A.
42
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:44,841
What's A.A., Mommy?
43
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,565
It's where mommies go
when they find out
44
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,780
daddy's marrying the nanny.
45
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,442
Arrr!
46
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,881
Arrr!
47
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,275
I'm going to be a princess
for my birthday.
48
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,318
Oh, really?
49
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,583
Not with these
dirty paws.
50
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,990
(British accent):
Go wash up, Your Majesty.
51
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,893
And with soap,
Your Highness.
52
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,685
(chuckles)
53
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,987
Hey, babe...
54
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:09,098
get a load of
the party favors.
55
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,203
MP3 player?
56
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,165
A cell phone?
57
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,795
Tickets to the
Vagina Monologues?
58
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:20,110
How old is Jeremy Swanson, and
how long has he been a lesbian?
59
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,984
He's six.
60
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,112
Just like Brittany's
going to be in a few weeks.
61
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,278
You heard her.
62
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,006
She wants to be
a princess.
63
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,850
So... I looked into it.
64
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,918
If we want to do a castle
with a prince
65
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,256
and a horse-drawn carriage,
it's around ten grand,
66
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,763
including the moat.
67
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,364
Then there's a
drawbridge...
68
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,556
And-and, you know
69
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:40,487
what you can do?
70
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,631
You can make it a toll bridge,
71
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,195
so you have some way
to pay for the party.
72
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,734
Jason...
73
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,569
I'm going to need some
real money for this.
74
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,136
Fine. What can you
get for 500 bucks?
75
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,705
I don't know-- a cake,
some cheap plastic wands,
76
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,444
a couple of
cardboard crowns.
77
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,309
Done! That party
is going to rock.
78
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,308
Ooh, ooh!
79
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,479
-Jason...
-Ooh, ooh!
80
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,620
Ooh...!
81
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,716
When I say "five,"
you say "hundred."
82
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,818
Five... five.
83
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,190
Where you at, Kel?
84
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,300
We can see the 7:30,
85
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,272
or we can wait until
the 8:00, which is in THX.
86
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,601
Oh, yo, Mel,
did I tell you?
87
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,596
Malik has THX wired
throughout his whole house.
88
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:22,999
Yes, right after you told me
89
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,840
Malik leaps tall buildings
in a single bound.
90
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,476
I'm sorry, Mel.
91
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,741
It's just so cool.
92
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,509
Me and one of the best
quarterbacks in the league
93
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,808
hanging out,
like we boys.
94
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,650
Like we boys, Mel!
95
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,145
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I heard enough about...
96
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,187
Malik!
97
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,222
Right!
98
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,417
I was just toying
with you before, Rookie.
99
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,089
Where's your TV?
100
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,486
Damn!
101
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,858
I figured you'd
have a crappy TV,
102
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,756
but, brother, this
screams "drug problem."
103
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,598
Yeah, there's been
a little debate
104
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,573
as to whether we
need a bigger TV.
105
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,972
Well, let me end that debate
right now for you both.
106
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,374
You do.
107
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,536
Good thing I
brought my own.
108
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,674
Yo, mutt! White
boy bubble butt!
109
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:04,954
Mm, you rookies sure
do come in handy.
110
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,182
Uh, Derwin.
111
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,816
Oh, yeah, Malik, man, not that
I wouldn't love to play with you
112
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,322
right now, but me and my girl--
You remember my girl Melanie?--
113
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,985
we was just heading
out to the movies.
114
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:13,793
(Malik chuckles)
115
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,864
Movies? With your
girl Melanie?
116
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:17,793
Yeah.
117
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:21,058
And what movie were you
going to see, Girl Melanie?
118
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,528
-We were going to see the new
M. Night Shyamalan... -Saw it!
119
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,527
The grandma's an alien.
120
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,998
See? I saved you a
trip and some money.
121
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,436
Now, come on, Rookie,
let me win my money back.
122
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,467
(mouthing):
I'm sorry.
123
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,380
Mommy, at my party,
can we wear tiaras
124
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:39,983
and have pink ponies
like at Sarah's party?
125
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,677
Hey, Brit...
126
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,690
since Sarah already
had a princess party,
127
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,193
I was thinking maybe we could
do something different.
128
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,355
Mommy, no!
I have to be a princess!
129
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,725
I told all my friends.
130
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,633
And Kimmy Adler's having
her birthday the same day,
131
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:56,826
which makes no sense,
132
00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,097
because her birthday
is on Tuesday, not Saturday,
133
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,097
which is my real birthday,
134
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,438
and she's having
the Pussycat Dolls at her party!
135
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,744
Brittany, baby, breathe.
136
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,076
And how do you know
about the Pussycat Dolls?
137
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,811
Please, mom, I'm going
to be six, not five.
138
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,619
Don't remind me.
139
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,486
Sweet dreams.
140
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,424
I'm going to dream
about my party.
141
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,660
Are you going to dream
about it, too, Mommy?
142
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:28,225
According to Daddy,
I'm already dreaming.
143
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,625
Good night.
144
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,765
NEWSCASTER: The forecast:
Mostly sunny skies today
145
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,967
-with brisk easterly winds...
-(sighs)
146
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,738
Good morning, Tasha!
147
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,610
Girl...
148
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,978
You blondes sure are
chipper in the morning.
149
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,147
Must be the peroxide.
150
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,246
What's that?
151
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,647
Well, I never properly
152
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,389
welcomed you and Malik
to the neighborhood.
153
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,494
We've been here two years.
154
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,686
So... welcome!
155
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,328
Is this last year's
ESPY basket,
156
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,725
missing most of
last year's gifts?
157
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:04,567
Is it?
158
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,102
Anyhoo,
it's the thought, right?
159
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,896
Can I have some coffee?
160
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:08,898
Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:14,038
Mm... This coffee is amazing.
162
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,037
Can I borrow $10,000?
163
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,880
Bitch, please!
164
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:23,418
I'll pay you back as soon as
Jason gives me my allowance.
165
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,524
Allowance?
166
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,115
What girl over 12
gets an allowance?
167
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,117
It's more of a stipend.
168
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,119
Look, any way you say it,
169
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,160
that man has you one step
away from a paper route.
170
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,596
A lot of women have to ask
their husbands for money.
171
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,433
Yeah, but you ain't
asking your husband.
172
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,168
You're over
here asking me.
173
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,032
Eyeballing my
cookie jar.
174
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,501
You know what?
175
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,710
Matter of fact...
176
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,546
Oh, oh, no.
177
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,612
Why are you afraid
to ask Jason
178
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,851
for money you are
rightfully entitled to?
179
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,616
You've been married
seven years.
180
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,315
You pushed his
child out for him.
181
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,416
That should be worth
at least $10,000.
182
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,159
Look, you don't understand.
183
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,533
Jason's weird about money.
184
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,762
I mean, he wants us to have
everything that we need,
185
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,257
but he doesn't
want us to be like
186
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,398
all the other bling-bling
sports stars and their families,
187
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,674
with their
plasma TVs and...
188
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:19,436
I'll never forget
the first time Jason and I met.
189
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,607
It was his rookie season.
190
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,835
I was a Saberette.
191
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,851
The minute I saw him,
I knew he was gonna be someone.
192
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:27,954
Mm.
193
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,685
First round draft pick with
a $5 million signing bonus,
194
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,722
that's some leap of faith
you made.
195
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,657
No.
196
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,662
Not just because
he was some rich sports star,
197
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,064
but because he was
an amazing man.
198
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,156
It was the way he walked,
with his head held high.
199
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,099
Of course, every girl
wanted to be with him.
200
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,125
So I held back.
201
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,640
He asked me out.
202
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,043
You want to know where we went
on our first date?
203
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,635
To the batting cage.
204
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,607
This is going somewhere, right?
205
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,947
It was great.
206
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,411
Except they couldn't
find a helmet
207
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,509
big enough for Jason's head.
208
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,621
But he just laughed.
209
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,382
He didn't go off like
some spoiled athlete.
210
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,491
He may have a big head,
211
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,494
but he's not big-headed.
212
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,690
I knew then that I loved him.
213
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,559
I didn't care who he was
or what he had.
214
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,958
And I wanted him to know that.
215
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,170
That's why I have trouble
asking him for money.
216
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,672
I never want him to think that
I'm just with him for the swag.
217
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,706
It's a beautiful story.
218
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,913
But you ain't getting
no mink coat out of me.
219
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,206
A mink coat?
220
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,047
What am I, Zsa Zsa Gabor?
221
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,023
I need it for Brittany's
birthday party.
222
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,122
Brittany's birthday party?
223
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,953
He won't give you money
for his own baby's birthday?
224
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:40,850
No.
225
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,021
Hell, even when I didn't
have a dime to my name,
226
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,761
I spent nine cents of it
on Malik's birthday,
227
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,197
so that at least
one day out of the year,
228
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,402
my baby could feel special.
229
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,333
Now, the rest of the month,
I had to stretch out that penny.
230
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,670
But...
231
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,595
we still had
our memories.
232
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,010
So... are you gonna
give me the money?
233
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,012
Hell no!
234
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,938
Girl, that was
when I was broke,
235
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,310
and I didn't have no
financial guidance.
236
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,018
Look, Kelly...
237
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,681
you don't just have money
issues with this man,
238
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,021
you have issues
with this man.
239
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,286
Now, you had the
bold-ass nerve
240
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,594
to come over here
and ask me for money.
241
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,927
You need to use
that same gumption
242
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,931
to stand up
to your man.
243
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,633
He's your husband.
244
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,495
He's not your king.
245
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,133
You can do it, Kel.
246
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,999
Just got to pick
the right time.
247
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,868
-Oh, oh, oh, my God.
-Mm-hmm.
248
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,238
Woman!
249
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,335
You're on a mission.
250
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,537
That was good, right?
251
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,939
It was real good.
252
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,349
So, about Brittany's birthday.
253
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,415
I was thinking,
254
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,923
if we lose the carriage,
maybe skimp on the tiaras,
255
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,986
we can get the budget
down to a measly
256
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,655
$4,999.
257
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,363
$5,000, Kelly?
258
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,534
No.
259
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,733
-$4,999.
-Okeydokey.
260
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,199
-Where are you going?
-I told you
261
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,597
five hundred bucks.
262
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,899
I know, honey, I tried.
263
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,400
I can't do it for that.
264
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,571
Not the way Brittany wants it.
265
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,239
Brittany also wants to buy
a house on Sesame Street.
266
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,908
Shall we call the broker?
267
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,447
Jason, she wants her friends
to come to her party,
268
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,812
and they won't
because Kimmy Adler's
269
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,181
having her birthday
the same day.
270
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,648
Which makes no sense because
her real birthday is on Tuesday,
271
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,388
but she's having
the Pussycat Dolls.
272
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,392
The Pussycat Dolls?
273
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,464
At a six-year-old's party?
274
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,122
What's she gonna want
for her seventh birthday,
275
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,691
a boob job?
276
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,059
We're the ones
raising her
277
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,697
around all these
rich kids.
278
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,402
Of course she's gonna
want what they have.
279
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,673
Baby, she's five.
280
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,932
Exactly. She's too young
to understand
281
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,801
why she can't have
what everyone else has
282
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,339
even though we can afford it.
283
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,074
It's like we're taking her
to an amusement park
284
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,109
and not letting her go
on any of the rides.
285
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,914
Life is not an amusement park.
286
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,877
Our daughter is
only gonna turn six once.
287
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,117
She wants to be a princess
288
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,221
and she wants her friends
to be at her party.
289
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,553
Look, if her friends don't
want to come to her party
290
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,419
because she doesn't have a moat
or the Pussycat Dolls
291
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,158
or a Botox stand,
292
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,625
then they're not
her real friends.
293
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:00,833
She'll learn a valuable lesson.
294
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,634
Why does she have to learn
that lesson at six?
295
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,726
Why not? You know how easy
it is to make friends at six?
296
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,768
You say, "Hi, I'll race you
to the sandbox."
297
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:07,874
Boom, new best friend.
298
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,635
Great, so now I have
to tell our daughter
299
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,913
that she can't have the birthday
party that she wants.
300
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,142
She'll be crushed.
301
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,306
Oh, hold the drama,
Meryl Streep.
302
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,506
Brit will be fine.
She's gonna have
303
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,577
a ball no matter what
we do for her birthday.
304
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,477
But I gave you world-class sex!
305
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,150
I know and I feel
really used.
306
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,259
Oh!
307
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,261
(knocking on door)
308
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,892
-Who could that be at this hour?
-(pounding on door)
309
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,901
It's Malik.
310
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,633
It's 3:00 in the morning.
311
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,368
Just be quiet, we'll go back
to bed, he'll go away.
312
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,174
MALIK:
I can hear you.
313
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,096
Let me in.
314
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,611
No, don't open
the door.
315
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:46,742
Mel, he can hear us.
316
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:47,977
Derwin, no.
317
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,509
Oh, so y'all gonna
treat a brother
318
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,907
like a Jehovah's Witness?
319
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,350
Shoot, I just came
from the club,
320
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,484
Rook, and I'm feeling it.
321
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,648
This is Constance.
322
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,046
-Say hey, Constance.
-Hey.
323
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,252
Come on, Rook.
324
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,590
Brush them crumbs out
your eyes, boy.
325
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,124
-Let's do it.
-Derwin.
326
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,660
(mouths):
Come here.
327
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,694
Excuse me.
328
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,829
Oh, dude, don't knock
yourself out
329
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,804
fixing me nothing, I ate.
330
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,233
I have class
in three hours.
331
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,199
I know, baby, but...
332
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,666
Malik has been here every
single night this week.
333
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,995
He's never going
to beat you.
334
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,270
Yes, I am.
I'm a winner, baby.
335
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,809
Sho' is.
336
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,324
What am I supposed to do?
He's the quarterback.
337
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,582
I don't care.
338
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,790
Make him leave, now.
339
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,961
-I can't.
-Okay.
340
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,723
Well, if you can't,
I will.
341
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,061
No, Melanie.
I got this.
342
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,227
-Obviously, you don't.
-Ooh.
343
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,355
I heard that.
344
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,971
Baby, why don't
you go back to bed
345
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,203
and we'll talk about
this in the morning.
346
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,237
No, we'll talk
about this now.
347
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,302
He has to go.
348
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,310
You asking me or
you telling me?
349
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,242
Dawg, she's definitely
telling you.
350
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,436
Look, you didn't ask me
351
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,610
if he could come over every
single night this week.
352
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,779
Oh, I didn't realize I
needed permission to have
353
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,079
someone come over
my own house.
354
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,320
Oh, you mean,
our own house, right?
355
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,185
Come on, Rook, I
ain't got all night.
356
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,915
Derwin, I'm sorry,
but this isn't happening.
357
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,690
Oh, Melanie,
I think it is.
358
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,458
Malik, let's play.
359
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,133
Do you mind if I heat up
my chalupa?
360
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,869
I'm sorry I have to bail
on the Sunbeam meeting,
361
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,338
but I've got class.
362
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,806
Someone with class
wouldn't wear white
363
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,135
after Labor Day.
364
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,880
It's winter white.
365
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,005
And what are you
so pissy about?
366
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,481
I'm sorry. It's not you.
367
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,989
It's just couple stuff.
368
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,591
Do you want to
talk about it?
369
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,822
-Not really.
-Good.
370
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,688
Because I'm so over Derwin.
371
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,985
What happened?
Did he leave you
372
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,657
for that publicist
girl of his?
373
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:46,785
No, it's just like...
374
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,230
Wait, why would
you say that?
375
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,100
I don't know.
376
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,525
So what's the problem?
377
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,100
I've learned to make compromises
for Derwin's career,
378
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,309
but I'm not about to make them
in my own house.
379
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,171
He has to learn it's
not all about him.
380
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,280
They all need that seminar.
381
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,582
They're so selfish
and narcissistic
382
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,954
and pigheaded and cheap.
383
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,154
-Are we still talking
about Derwin? -Look...
384
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,916
just remember, everything you do
in your relationship now
385
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,045
is the blueprint
for the rest of your lives.
386
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,421
Start like you want to finish.
387
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,658
Now I know we're not
talking about Derwin.
388
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,334
Dish.
389
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,392
No, you have class.
390
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,931
If I had class, I
wouldn't be pulling out
391
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,526
this wine cork
with my teeth.
392
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,329
Now, spill it.
393
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,214
-(crying)
-Don't cry, sweetie.
394
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,943
It's gonna be
all right.
395
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,608
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's up, Brit Brat?
396
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:37,536
Why all the tears?
397
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,810
She's upset because most
of her friends
398
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,279
don't want to come to her party.
399
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,548
They want to see
the Pussycat Dolls.
400
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,746
(crying)
401
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,147
But, baby,
you have to realize
402
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,420
that those kids
aren't your real friends.
403
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,489
And your real friends like Lilly
and Aubrey are coming.
404
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,959
We're gonna have
405
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,297
sheet cake, silly string
406
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,303
and a piñata that Mommy's
making herself.
407
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,366
A piñata?
408
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,504
I don't want
409
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,039
a stupid piñata party.
410
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,466
All right, come here.
411
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,340
Come here, come
here, Brit Brat.
412
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,247
Now, Brit Brat,
who are we?
413
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,982
-We're Pitts.
-And what are Pitts?
414
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,117
Pitts are proud.
415
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,782
That's right and
we don't cry
416
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,589
just 'cause some jokers don't
want to come to our parties.
417
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:19,651
Do we care about
those fools?
418
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,919
-No.
-All better now?
419
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,188
(crying):
No.
420
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,926
Okay. Okay, okay,
shh. You know what?
421
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,203
Daddy has an idea.
422
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,131
Forget the sheet cake
and the stupid piñata.
423
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,667
How about we take
424
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,002
your bestest friends
in the whole wide world
425
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,438
to Disneyland
426
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,874
for a real
princess party?
427
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,869
-No way.
-Way.
428
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,341
Can I bring
Lilly and Aubrey?
429
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,450
You can bring whoever
you think is bestest.
430
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,623
I'm gonna go call
them right now.
431
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,881
I love you, Dad.
432
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,089
Oh, I love you,
too, Brit Brat.
433
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,094
(closes cabinet loudly)
434
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,086
(silverware clatters in drawer)
435
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,755
Is there a problem?
436
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,231
-(silverware clatters)
-No.
437
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:10,165
There's no problem.
438
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:12,107
You just rode in
on your white horse
439
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,542
and saved the day.
440
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,436
Good for you,
you're using comped tickets
441
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,978
to take your daughter
to Disneyland.
442
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,254
After I had to beg,
443
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,852
borrow and steal all week.
444
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,054
As usual, Mommy's the ass
who can't do anything.
445
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,718
What is your problem?
446
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,316
I thought you wanted me
to do something special.
447
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,558
Please! They sponsor you, Jason.
448
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,334
That's like the time you gave me
a Black and Decker
449
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,203
gift basket for my birthday.
450
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,802
That's not special,
that's convenient.
451
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,334
So wait,
452
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,139
are we talking about Brittany
or are we talking about you?
453
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,807
We're talking about you being
a dictator in this household.
454
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,444
Oh, now I'm a dictator?
455
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,809
For wanting to make
my daughter happy?
456
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,277
That's... that's rich.
457
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,945
No, you're a dictator
458
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,353
because you made
the decision alone.
459
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,185
No, it wasn't a decision.
It was a proclamation,
460
00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,721
an edict, an order.
461
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,986
It would've been nice
if you'd come to me
462
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,885
and offered Disneyland
as an option.
463
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,256
You already had your mind set
on some over-the-top
464
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,625
princess party.
You didn't...
465
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,163
you-you weren't open
to anything else.
466
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,328
How do you know that?
467
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,126
Did you ask me? No.
468
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,598
You never ask me;
you tell me.
469
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:16,365
I get it, Jason.
You're the king.
470
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,137
(door closes)
471
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,284
Ooh, you're running
out of time, Rook.
472
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,046
You're 'bout to
go down, boy.
473
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,923
Hey, Girl Melanie.
How was your day?
474
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,724
I'm doing this for us, Derwin.
475
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,216
I want us to start
like we want to finish.
476
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,064
No!
477
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,155
What in the...?
478
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,556
I was just about to win.
479
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,197
Man, there were five seconds
left, okay, you won.
480
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,463
No, I didn't.
481
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:45,631
You don't give me nothing, Rook.
482
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,128
Now fire it up,
we gotta go again.
483
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,840
-Uh-uh, no, Malik...
-Melanie, I got this.
484
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,372
Woo, that's right, Rookie.
Handle your business.
485
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,336
And I'm about to.
486
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,078
Dawgs, you gots to bounce.
487
00:17:58,978 --> 00:17:59,908
(laughing)
488
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,409
That's funny, Rookie.
489
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,281
-Plug it back in.
-No, Malik.
490
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,190
No matter how many times
we play, man,
491
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,722
you are never gonna win.
492
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:10,216
Boy, I was just
about to grease you.
493
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,230
No, I was about
to let you grease me
494
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,532
to get you up out of my house.
495
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,634
I mean, oh...
496
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,029
Our house.
497
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,998
Aww, look at the rookie.
498
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,138
Standing up for himself.
499
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,042
And Girl Melanie,
standing there looking
500
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,377
at your man like
he's all that.
501
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,482
But he ain't.
502
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,454
He's still a rookie.
503
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,584
One who's got to bring
my TV back tomorrow.
504
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,189
But don't come
before 10:00.
505
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,392
Or after 10:01.
506
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,324
Mm-mmm, I think I'm feeling like
507
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,920
some breakfast crepes tomorrow.
Oh...
508
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,131
and some
chicken sausage.
509
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,569
Hey, Boo.
510
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,344
Now your man
just handled business.
511
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,743
Can I at least get a kiss?
512
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,074
Double-lock that door
513
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,968
and you'll get more than a kiss.
514
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,180
Oh...
515
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,084
Gonna do that thang.
Gonna do that thang.
516
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,216
Ah, she's gonna love it, man.
517
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,282
Thanks. Peace.
518
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,291
Yes. Yes.
519
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,353
Hey, Brittany!
520
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,961
Can you come down here
for a minute?
521
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:16,962
Kelly, Kel,
522
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,833
guess what?
Not only
523
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,491
are Brit and her friends
gonna have Cinderella,
524
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:25,301
i.e., the most famous princess
in the world at her party,
525
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,825
they are also going
to ride on her float
526
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,740
in the big parade. Ta-da!
527
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:36,582
I said, "Ta-da."
528
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,553
That's great, Jason.
529
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,912
I'm sure she'll
really love it.
530
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,380
Come on, Kel.
531
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,519
-I'm trying here.
-I know.
532
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,394
-And I'm sure she'll
really appreciate it. -Baby.
533
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,724
-What do you want, Dad?
-Brit Brat,
534
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,589
guess what?
535
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,488
What?
536
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,604
Mommy has a surprise for you.
537
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,740
What, Mommy, what?
538
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,642
What's the surprise?
I'm dying here.
539
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,310
Guess what your daddy did?
540
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,483
He called Cinderella
and she wants
541
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,348
you, Lilly and Aubrey
542
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,147
to ride on her float.
543
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,848
And then when you're
on top of the float,
544
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,491
you can wave to Mommy and Daddy
and all your subjects.
545
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:30,091
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