All language subtitles for Packed To The Rafters s03e06 Home Coming.eng

[theme music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[Rachel] When you're 18,
you can't wait

to leave home.

But a few years on,
you start to appreciate

what you're actually
leaving behind.

Oh, this is great.

I haven't seen this
for years.

[Dave] What's all this?

Oh, just some stuff I fetched
from the storage unit.

-Oh.
-[Rachel] Oh, my gosh, look.

Nan's lamp.

-From her pineapple period.
-[laughs]

Are you sure
I can have this, Grandad?

Better than it sitting
out there going moldy.

Well, it's great.
It's perfect.

It's gonna be perfect
for our new apartment.

How do you know?
You haven't found it yet.

[Rachel] It's a mere detail.

I know what it'll be like.

An inner city warehouse,
cute but cutting edge.

Double doors
opening onto a small balcony.

A shed for my tools.
Garage for the ute.

We probably can't afford
a garage,

but Jake will
just have to cope.

Spare bedroom for Alex.

A studio, all open plan.

Near a park,
somewhere quiet.

Buzzy near cafes.

Close to work.

Close to work
would be good, too.

-[gasps]
-[sighs] Oh.

[Rachel]
Wow, look at that.

Yep, that's technology
for you.

That's memories.

Beautiful ones.

Oh, Mom probably
wouldn't think so.

It used to drive her mad

clicking that thing
on and off.

It's funny the things
that come back to you.

Hadn't thought about that
for years.

No, me neither.

Do you remember
the fuss she made

about those curtains?

-They had to be pink.
-[Rachel laughs]

My ballerina phase.

And remember you sewed coins
into the corners

-to weigh it down?
-[laughs] Yeah.

Twenty-cent coins.
You probably dug them out.

-They're only two cents.
-Ah.

Well, they might be worth
something.

You could sell them on eBay.

No. [sobs]

No, this is my past.

You have to promise me
something, Mom, okay?

No matter how long
I'm gone for,

this'll always be
Rachel's room.

Oh, darling.

Well, with the giant "R"
on the wall,

it could always be
Ruby's room.

-Mom!
-Or Dave's pool room.

-I thought we agreed.
-That's really hilarious.

-You're funny.
-Okay, okay, I'll compromise.

Dave's pool room

and, uh, the occasional
guest room.

Rachel's room.

-Take it. Take all of them.
-What?

They're yours,
they're not mine.

No... Mom.

We haven't even found
a place yet.

All right?

And, when I visit,

I like the idea of them
being here.

There is one thing
I would like.

What?

[Jake] Fridge photos
like these ones.

Well, take that.
I've got copies.

Oi. Things must be
hotting up

if he's on the fridge.

No, look, it's just
a work photo.

Oh, yeah, it stuck itself
up there, did it?

What does Alex think about

-his new step daddy?
-Oh, stop it!

-[Jake laughs]
-I haven't told him

'cause there's nothing
to tell.

Well, he's on the fridge.

That's a pretty
important nothing.

Look, it's nothing serious.

It might all blow over.

[door opens, closes]

[keys jingling]

Hi, Gracie bub.

Hey. Hello.

-Hi, Jake.
-Doug.

All right. I've got to go.

I'm having dinner
at Rachel's.

-I might catch you later.
-[Doug] See you, mate.

-I put this in the fridge?
-Yeah.

Uh, just give me a second.

-Jake.
-Yeah?

-About the key--
-Yeah, no.

No, no, no, it's better
than him breaking a window.

Look, it doesn't
change anything.

It... It's not Doug's home,
it's yours.

And I just couldn't bear it

if you thought
you were being driven away.

Mom, I'm moving out
'cause it's time.

And it's about time
you found a good guy,

like Doug.

So go on, go for it.

You really don't mind?

No, of course not.

And he's crazy about you,
Gracie bub.

[laughs]

Now don't forget

drinks at the Rafters
tomorrow.

It's about time
you guys finally met.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[Rachel] So, do you think
Doug will move in?

No. Oh, maybe.

It's a big move.

Mom wouldn't do it lightly.

No, neither would I.

No, I know, I did it once
before with Daniel,

but I didn't do that lightly

and I didn't go into it
with my eyes open either.

Yeah, so what's
the difference now?

Well, that time was
all about him and his space.

This is about us,
building something together.

-A home.
-Yep.

So, every important decision,

we both make it?

Even the unimportant ones.

Including that lamp?

You have to be kidding me.

-That belonged to my nan.
-Oh, Rach,

we could've been
so good together.

No, you love me,
you love Nan's lamp.

Don't you start.

I wouldn't dare.
Uh, before Chel gets here

there's something we need
to tell you all,

so could you, uh...

I thought Chel
was totally against that?

-Yeah. No kidney talk ever.
-[Julie] Yeah.

Well, your dad put up
some very strong arguments.

Look, it's early days.

I don't wanna
make a big deal out of it.

I just wanted to keep you
up to speed.

Well, I think
it's a great idea.

I think
you should go for it.

Yeah, me too. We all do.

So, what's for dinner?

-Steak and kidney pie?
-[Julie] Hey.

I'm warning you,
no jokes in front of Chel.

Oh, as if.
I don't even know any.

Yeah, and don't start trying
to make any up.

Kidney...

it doesn't even rhyme
with anything.

[Dave] It's not gonna happen
immediately.

My GP first, then
a whole barrage of tests,

you know it
could take months, so...

Sydney!

-[Rachel] Oh, ignore him.
-[Ben] I'm sorry.

-Ignore him. He's special.
-I'm sorry. Sorry, Dad.

[Dave] Anyway
there's no guarantees.

The point is that
we don't want to make

a big deal out of it.

It's just something
we're doing, together.

Well, it's so much
more than that.

It's such a gift.

I'm overwhelmed.

Oh, I feel all warm
and gooey.

[Julie] Oh, okay. Well,
I might put this one down.

-[Dave] I'll do it.
-[Julie] Oh, thanks.

-[Ruby coos]
-[Rachel] Um, so, Mama,

are you all set
and prepared for tomorrow?

-Prepared?
-Yeah, for Grace coming over.

Oh, yeah.

Well, it's just drinks,
isn't it?

What, I don't have to lay
on a banquet, do I?

No, no, no, but, I mean,

a bit of effort would
be nice.

Right.
Well, dips and crackers?

-That sounds great.
-Okay.

Well, there's
a yummy taramasalata

-from the deli up the road.
-Uh... fish.

-Mom doesn't eat seafood.
-Oh, okay.

Well, um, something
else, then.

-Pate?
-Oh.

Uh, that's the other thing
Mom doesn't eat as well.

Cheese and pineapple?

-That sounds great.
-Okay, great.

-No, no. Mom, no.
-Rach, it's fine.

It's no biggie. Great.

Does anybody know
an accountant?

I've got to get
my tax sorted.

Oh, don't you hate them.

-[Chel] Yeah.
-Do you need a hand with it?

Ha! Like you know anything
about tax, Rachel.

No, you're right, Nathan,
I don't.

Nathan knows
a lot about tax, though.

He'd be happy
to help you with that.

-He's a whiz.
-Really?

-You wouldn't mind?
-Yep.

[Chel] He wouldn't mind?

"Bite me. Possess me
like no one ever has."

-Excuse me?
-Uh, no, not you,

my secret admirer.

You should see the things
she writes to me.

It's like poetry.

"Your sharp teeth in
my soft flesh."

Who is she?
Sookie Stackhouse?

She hasn't told me
her name yet.

Listen to this,

"I'm so hot for you,
I'm burning up."

Ah, she must have the flu.

[clicks, chimes]

That's it.
I'm officially separated.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

Yeah, sure.
It needed to be done.

Next stop the finances.
Speaking of which,

I should probably get
an early night.

I've got hours of tax fun
with Chel tomorrow.

Ouch. I reckon Dad
got the easy option.

Tell me about it.
Night, guys.

-See you.
-Good night.

-Poor Nathan.
-I know.

[door closes]

How are we ever gonna relax
around here

with all that Sammy stuff
hanging over our heads?

Mmm.

And how can I ever relax

with that rooster
looking at me?

Hang on.

-There we go.
-Can't you just

accidentally knock it off
or something?

I could move it
closer to the edge

and with a bit of luck
Carbo might knock it off.

He wouldn't mind.

He doesn't like it either.

But if no one likes it,
what's it doing there?

Well, point one,
it's not our house.

Yeah, but it is our home,
isn't it?

Of course.

Well, just as much
as Carbo's.

Yeah.

So, check it out.

[upbeat music playing]

Why are we surrounded
by his mom's ceramic zoo?

Hey, that money
that your parents gave us

-for our wedding...
-Yeah.

...that we were putting aside
for a rainy day.

-Hey?
-It's pouring.

If we bought
something together

and put it in here,
then we'd know it was ours.

Yep, and make it feel more
like home.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Yep.

-Yep. Good.
-Okay.

[Rachel] They say
home is where the heart is,

or in my case,
the lamp.

Wanted.

A home for two people
very much in love

without a care in the world.

At least
that's what I thought.

[Jake] But these are all
apartments.

No, relax,
I didn't forget you.

-What about that?
-Surry Hills, Rach?

-Come on.
-[Grace] Is that for me?

Oh, making her a cup of tea
is a big mistake, mate.

Yeah, you're right.

-She might come to expect it.
-Yeah.

Well, that's all right
by me.

[Alex] Hey! Mom! Jake!

Kill the fatted calf,
I'm home!

You didn't tell me
Alex was coming home.

-[Grace] We didn't know.
-Where is everyone?

[all] Hey!

[Grace] I so would've
picked you up.

Uh, yeah, we missed you.

Oh, you're going too far.

-Look at you.
-[Alex] Uh...

-[Rachel] Hey.
-[Alex] Oh...

[Rachel] I missed you.

Did you bring me a prezzie?

Oh, yes, me.

[laughter]

[Jake]
So how was the flight?

Yeah. Oh, coffee first.

I can't talk
without coffee.

[Jake] All right.

Who are you?

Uh, Doug.

A friend of your mom's.

Did he sleep here?

-Alex, um--
-Since when?

Just a little while,
not long.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I was going to,
but you weren't--

-Oh, what's this?
-[Jake] Well, they're mine.

They're mine and Rachel's.

Yeah, we're gonna get a place
together, Al.

There's a lot of stuff
going on here,

-isn't there?
-Alex, you weren't here--

There are phones in
New Zealand.

-There's--
-And you can shut up!

[Jake] Oi!

Mind your own business.

I don't even know
who you are.

Mate, you need to calm down.

What is this?
Some kind of conspiracy?

[Rachel]Home is where the heart is.

And for Alex and Jake,
that was suddenly an issue.

[gate slams]

Hey. I was just texting you.

What'd you say?

Maybe we should leave
the house hunting

-for another day?
-Yeah.

Yeah. How is it all in there?

Uh, it's not great.

-Hmm.
-Can I ask you a big favor?

What?

He won't listen to me or Mom.

-And he trusts you--
-He's gonna think

I'm interfering, though, Jake.

No, please, Rach.
You're practically family

and right now I can't think
of anything else.

Okay.

But don't expect
any miracles.

[slow music playing]

They've sent in the cavalry,
have they?

Are you calling me a horse?

So big changes, huh?

So? No one cares
what I think.

Of course they do.

Look, I'm sorry.

Jake really should've
said something

about him and I
moving out together.

-It's--
-Yeah.

Just when people are away,
you don't--

Yeah, out of sight,
out of mind.

No, it's more
that we didn't want

to interrupt your holiday.

Sure.

Okay, and we got
a bit carried away

with all the things
we were planning

and that made us
a bit selfish.

-And as for your Mom--
-Who is that guy?

No, he's really nice.
Honestly.

I think you'll like him.

Yeah, we'll be besties.

Totally.

Totally besties.

You know,
on the plane

I was thinking
about how great it was

-to be coming home.
-Yeah.

Well, home's still here.

It's just changing shape
a little bit.

So did you have a good time?

-Oh, yeah.
-Get any Maori tatts?

Not where I can show you.

Well, will I at least
get to see some pictures?

-Of the tatts?
-No.

No, I'll pass
on that, thanks.

But some G-rated shots
would be nice.

You could bring them along
this afternoon.

-Where?
-Your mom's coming over.

It's a bit of a parental
meet and greet thing.

-You will come, won't you?
-Mmm-hmm.

I don't know.

I might.
I might not.

[Jake] I don't know if
it's a good idea leaving Mom

-and Alex together.
-Oh, yeah.

They might actually have
a conversation.

Bad move.

Well, at least Doug was
tactful enough to leave,

-so that's a start.
-Yeah.

I mean, think about it.

Alex gets home,
he's tired,

he's thinking, yay,
and what does he get?

He gets a middle-aged man
in a dressing gown

who's acting
like the furniture.

Of course he was gonna
overreact.

-He'll be fine?
-Yeah, he'll be fine.

Well, we'll think of you

while we're out
spending our wedding money.

-Ooh, what are you gonna buy?
-Don't know yet.

Thought we might make
the place a bit more us.

We've lived here long enough.

Right. Have you run it
past Carbo?

-I think we'll be safe.
-Yeah, I'd say so.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I will lie ♪

♪ In my side ♪

♪ 'Cause there is a weapon
In my hand ♪

♪ That a man to fight ♪

Are you,
uh, who I think you are?

I could be,
if that's a good thing.

Yeah. Could be.

You look hot.

Burning up, you could say.

I just moved in
down the road.

Mmm.

Far down the road?

Not very. Quite close.

Number 40.

That is close.

Compared to number 42.

[laughs]

Well, maybe you should pop
around sometime.

Maybe I will, pop around.

♪ You ain't no good ♪

♪ But you ain't no good ♪

That's a new car.
It's nice.

Oh, it's not exactly new,
but it'll get me around.

I won't hug you.

No, it's probably best
if you don't.

Wow, Chel this, this garden
looks so much better

-since you've been here.
-Oh, well,

house sitting,
just returning the favor.

Uh, are you sure

it's not too much
of an imposition?

No, no, it's a piece of cake.

Besides it gives me a chance
to show off.

Well, it's just a few bits
of paper.

Five years?

Well, every year
it just gets harder

and harder to face.

-Ooh.
-I thought I mentioned it.

Well, you probably did.

I probably
just blanked it out.

I guess we better start
somewhere.

Um... okay, do you remember...

Do you remember
what this was from?

Uh, that's
my membership receipt

for the Communist Party.

-You're a communist?
-Not really.

Just seemed like
a good idea at the time.

That's a political
party membership,

that's deductible,
that's good.

We're off to a good start.

What about that one?

We're just gonna have
to go up in price.

Everything we looked at
was disgusting.

No, one place we looked at

on the way back was okay,
it had a big yard.

Except it was practically
in the South Pole.

[Julie] You've only been
looking a month, you two.

That place in the city
we looked at, that was good.

-It only had one room.
-No, it only had two.

-It had two rooms.
-Oh, if you count the toilet.

-Oh, Mom, that's not--
-No, it's hummus.

-It's perfectly harmless.
-Thank you.

You're the best.
I love you.

I hope you're all gonna
get along.

Yeah, well, if we don't,
the relationship's over.

Dad, okay,
just don't start, yeah?

You've kept us at
arm's length for long enough.

Are you ashamed of us
or something?

-No, of course I'm not.
-Well, meeting the in-laws

for the first time,
it's a pretty big deal.

Dad! I said, don't start.

Okay, now you're all
gonna have to be

extra nice to Alex, please.

Rach, it's okay.

You got his text,
Alex is cool.

[Julie]
I'm sure he'll be fine.

Hey, Jake, could you get me,
uh, some parsley?

It's at a pot
at the back door.

-[Julie] Yeah.
-Thanks.

-[knocks on door]
-I'll get it.

All right,
that's them.

Dad, please, no jokes,

even if you think
they're really funny.

All right. Hey, Rachel?

-Yeah?
-Pull my finger.

[laughter]

And look who we have here.

Hi, I'm Julie.

It's been way too long.

I'm Grace,
and yes, it has.

This is my
youngest son, Alex.

[Julie] Hi, Alex.
I heard you just got back

-from New Zealand.
-Yeah.

I know some great jokes
about New Zealand.

Dad.

Oh, and of course
you've met these two.

Yeah, once or twice.

All right. Well, uh...

Well, they're the most
important thing.

Who wants what?

I'll have whatever's going.

-Uh, a beer for us, mate.
-[Julie] Wine.

I've heard so much
about Ruby.

Oh, uh, would you like

-to take a peek?
-I'd love to.

Yeah, nap time's
almost over.

Good. You've got
such a beautiful home here.

Oh, thank you.

[Jake] Ooh.

How do you think
it's all going in there?

Oh, I don't know.

It feels like
trouble's brewing.

What about Alex?

-Oh, he's pretty quiet.
-Yeah.

Maybe he's still just
a bit tired.

Yeah, yeah.

-Do you want to take these?
-Yep.

Hey, um, I just had
a great idea.

-Yeah, what?
-Well, look around.

-This is perfect.
-Perfect for what?

Well, we should move in here.
Live in the shed.

It'll be bigger
than the city place we found.

[Ruby crying]

Oh, I knew it was too good
to be true.

Yeah.

[Grace] Oh, I seem
to have lost the knack.

No, no, she's just
a bit grumpy at the moment.

-Dad, could you...
-Allow me.

-Come on, sweetheart.
-[Grace] Oh, she's gorgeous.

-[Ruby continues crying]
-[Julie] We think so.

Hey, would like some,
uh, hummus?

Jake mentioned
you don't like seafood.

-Oh, yes, I do.
-No, you don't.

-Since when?
-Well, since always.

-That was me.
-Oh.

How's, uh, how's Doug?

Uh, you know he was invited?

Jake told you about that, too?

Not much. Just, you know--

[Dave] Who's for anotherey?

-Me, please.
-[Jake] Anotherey.

All right. I'm gonna sit
this one out, though.

-[Rachel] What, you?
-Well, I've just decided

to start looking
after myself, you know.

My mother needs
a kidney transplant

and, uh, I'm gonna be
testing--

-[bottle clatters]
-[Grace] Oh, Alex.

-[Alex] Sorry.
-[Grace] I'm so sorry.

-Sorry.
-Alex.

Nothing
to worry about, Alex.

Um, so you're gonna donate?

If they let me. Yeah.

[Grace] Oh, that's
a wonderful thing to do.

Is there a queue?

Once you've handed
over your kidney,

maybe you could give me
a CP transplant.

-Alex--
-What?

Aren't I good enough
for a transplant?

No, but whatever
your point is,

this isn't the place
to make it.

No, Jake, you don't make
the rules.

Just because I'm retarded...

-Alex, don't say that.
-[Alex] ...it doesn't mean

that I'm not allowed
to speak.

But you're not allowed
to make everyone

-feel embarrassed!
-[Alex] Why not?

That's all I'm good for,
isn't it?

-[Julie] Um, no, no, no...
-Sorry.

-...It's fine. It's fine.
-I'm so sorry.

Mom, I've got it.
I've got it.

-It's fine.
-[Julie] Oi.

Oi.

-Today is not about you.
-Ha.

Doing that in front
of Rachel's parents,

mate, that's not good.
It's not good.

You made her parents
feel bad,

you made Mom feel bad
and what for?

Oh, shove it,
you don't know anything.

Oh, no, I've only just been
living with you

-for how long?
-Well, now you're moving out

so you can keep
your opinions.

But what,
so that gives you the right

to say anything you like?

Okay, guys, that's enough.
Time out.

Yeah, Rachel,
keep out of it!

You're not family.

I'm gonna kill him.

No, no. Shh.

You go back inside, okay?

You're too fired up. Go.

[dramatic music playing]

[Rachel] What are you doing?

I'm ringing a taxi.

I thought we were okay, Al.

I've got enough friends.

I don't need any more.

[Rachel] Yeah,
well, you know what?

That might be the case
for you,

but I need all the friends
I can get.

Sorry.

I met a girl in Queenstown,

and I liked her a lot.

Yeah?

And I asked her out
and you know what?

She said yes,

and she said yes a second

and a third time

and finally,
I had a girlfriend.

And what happened?

She said that I was great,

but it would be better
if we were just friends.

-Can you guess why?
-You know what?

A lot of guys have used
that line on me before.

It might have nothing
to do with your--

Rachel, it has everything
to do with it!

I can't prove it, though

because everybody pretends
that they don't even see it.

And I come home
and my mom's met someone

and you and Jake,

and I just see
what I will never have.

Is there anything I can say
to make you feel better?

Probably not.

Can you not say anything
to Jake about this?

-No.
-I'll tell him later

when I'm ready.

[Rachel]Alex had come home.

Problem was, it felt like
the locks had been changed.

[Chel] It's fantastic.
Look at that big pile.

Oh, no, that's the
"don't know" pile.

-Oh.
-[Nathan] No, it's fine,

we're doing well.
We're doing all right.

Um...

Chel, what's this?

That's the receipt for my
share of the land title.

-Land title?
-In Vanuatu.

-You own land in Vanuatu?
-Were there were a few of us?

We thought it would be
a good idea running a resort.

-We were drunk at the time.
-All right.

[Chel] The guy that sold it to
us must have seen us coming.

It didn't happen.

Is it tax deductible?

No, Chel,
it's not tax deductible,

unless there's a category
for bad decisions

made while drunk.

It'd be a big category.

-For both of us.
-[both laugh]

[Jake] I don't know
what's going on with him

but he would've have meant it
like it sounded.

A bit of verbal biffo.

There's nothing wrong
with that.

Here.

What I said to you earlier,

-I'm sorry.
-Oh,

don't worry about it, mate.
You can say

what you like around here.
I'm used to it.

[Ted] You heard him. Here.

There's a beer here
with your name on it.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

You know sometimes
our kids have got to learn

that they're not the center
of the universe.

-Aren't they?
-[Julie] It's news to me.

I think Jake
moving out and...

[Julie] Yeah, well, it's a...
it's a big disruption

for Alex, but he'll cope.

Please don't worry,
I'm sure it will work out.

-Won't it?
-Absolutely.

Yeah, you've got
to trust her.

She's generally right
about these sort of things.

[upbeat music playing]

[Carbo] Hey.

-Hi.
-You've got a way with words.

-Poetry.
-You think?

Oh, yeah.

I'm so hot for you,
I'm burning up.

Oh, bite me, possess me
like no one ever has.

You're not a virgin,
are you?

Yeah, I'm Greek.
No such thing.

-[Natalie] Ooh. [chuckles]
-[Carbo moans]

Oh, I'm so hot,
I'm burning up.

So you keep saying.

You really like to talk,
don't you?

Those are your words.
They get me going.

-My words?
-Yeah.

[phone ringing]

Don't worry,
it's just my husband.

Husband? You never said
you had a husband.

We've only just met.
We've hardly even had

-a conversation.
-No, no, no,

we've shared
our deepest desires

and you said
you'd be my mortal

and I'd be your vampire.

Ew! What?

-Not you?
-Absolutely not me.

Huh.

[Carbo] Is that...

Is that your husband?

Who else?
What do you think I am?

Um...

you know, look, I'm sorry.

This...
That there was all good.

It was, uh...

ah, look, um, welcome

to the neighborhood, but...

Yeah.

I've got to go.

-[Nathan] Are you kidding?
-[Chel] No.

[Nathan] Oh, Chel,
I can't believe

-how much you've traveled.
-[Chel] I love it.

I have to put it on hold
for the moment, though.

[Nathan] Oh, no,
you'll go again.

Yeah, maybe.
Maybe I shouldn't be allowed.

I've done some silly things.

-Well, you're still standing.
-Sort of.

I hitched a ride
on the back of a motorbike

in Thailand
and came a cropper

and I had to have
a blood transfusion.

Wow.

-When, when did that happen?
-About 20 years ago.

-Can I ask a question?
-Is that how I got HIV?

-[Nathan] Yes.
-I think so.

I mean, there's no knowing
for sure, but I think so.

All from that one choice.

Until we crashed,
the bike ride was fun.

You can't waste time
regretting things.

You're amazing.
I wish I could feel that way

about my bad choices.

You can put a positive spin
on anything.

Really?

-Even what happened to you?
-Yes.

I appreciate my life
like I never had before.

If you're not sure how
much time you've got left,

you're not gonna waste it
hating yourself.

[Rachel] I'm glad things
are better on the home front.

Okay, good night.

-Everything all right there?
-Yeah, it seems to be.

-I'm gonna pack it in.
-Okay.

Good night, Dad.
And, hey, thank you again

so much for today.
I really appreciated it.

[Dave] Hey, it's the tax man.
How'd you go?

Good, yeah.
Is Mom around?

[Dave] Nah,
she's gone to bed.

She didn't get much sleep
last night,

thanks to Ruby,
and neither did I,

so, um, turn out the lights.

-Will do.
-Hi.

What's that?

It's a plant
that Chel potted.

It's for your new place.

-Is it?
-[Nathan] Yeah.

-Oh, that's so nice of her.
-Mmm-hmm.

-[Rachel] Did you get one?
-No.

I haven't finished
her tax yet.

Oh, how useless are you?

Very.

No, I was only joking,
Nathan.

I'm your big sister.
It's my job.

You were right, though.

You know I've spent
my whole life being this

completely useless
and selfish person,

and I don't like it
and you know

I don't want to be
that way anymore.

-Whoa, Nathan--
-No, I mean it, Rachel.

I mean it.

If I could be
someone different,

I would be,
but I don't know how.

Right.

-[Alex] Hey.
-Hey.

So...

I've got to tell you
something about yesterday.

Oh, don't worry.

Don't worry, mate.
Forget about it.

Well, I can't.

I've got to tell you why.

Okay.

I went out with a girl
in New Zealand

and she dumped me.

Right, so stuff her.

There's plenty more
out there.

No.

There isn't, not for me.

Oh, come on, mate. Trust me.
They're there.

Okay. See,
you show me one girl

who chose me over you.

I don't want you
to feel sorry for me.

But I need you
to admit the truth.

Al...

sometimes honesty's
a big ask.

I live with it.

Every day.

I still hope
that someone will want me.

But I don't think
that they will.

Well, I hope you're wrong.

I want to feel good
about you and Rachel,

but when I see you together,

all I see
is what I haven't got.

[somber music playing]

♪ Army ♪

♪ Like taking on an army
Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Like taking on an army ♪

♪ Like taking on an army
Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Enough on playing
The victim ♪

♪ You got your work
Cut out for you ♪

♪ No point worrying
'Bout the little things ♪

♪ 'Cause
The little things... ♪

-G'day.
-G'day.

♪ You get stuck
Right in ♪

♪ You can hold your own ♪

♪ No one's gonna help you
When you're all alone ♪

♪ You can feel it
Coming on ♪

♪ Like taking on an army ♪

♪ Like taking on an army ♪

-What's up with you?
-I just saw him.

He's got a Rottweiler.
I think he's tracking me.

What are you so scared of?

The way you described it
she's not coming here

-any time soon.
-[Carbo] Yeah, but he might

and trust me that bloke
you don't want popping around.

He's got guns.

Hey, uh, what's this?

Oh, we bought it together.

It's kind of tasteful, yeah?

Yeah, we both
wanted something plain.

Yeah, but where's my rooster?

Don't worry, it's safe.
It's in the cupboard

-in the garage.
-What's it doing in there?

-Well, that's where we put it.
-But it belongs there.

Look, it's always lived there.
That's its home.

-Well, now it's got a new one.
-[Carbo] No way.

I want it back
where it belongs, okay?

It's been there
since I was a little kid.

Ooh.

It might be another message
from your admirer.

I don't want to look at it.
Look, it's her fault

that I've got
a psycho killer after me.

Look, whoever you are,
leave me alone!

-[laptop beeps]
-And I want my rooster back.

[laptop beeps]

Well, it's a good thing
you're cute

because quite frankly
after getting us up

four times last night,
your personality leaves

-a lot to be desired.
-Oh, how could you say that?

Look at that face.

[Dave] It doesn't cut
any ice with me.

[Nathan] Knock, knock, knock.

-Hello.
-Hey.

Now if either of you act
like this is out of character,

-I'm gonna take it right back.
-No, no, I prefer you didn't.

Oh, what've we done
to deserve breakfast in bed?

Well, I just wanted you
to both have a lovely coffee

before I told you
that I've made a decision.

Um, I've decided
that I'm gonna test

for the kidney compatibility.

Well, why don't we just find
out what happens with me?

-[Julie] Yeah.
-No, no, no, it's something

that I feel strongly about.

You know, I just want
you guys to know

that I'm offering
and that I mean it.

Yeah, but you don't
need to, darling.

No, but I want to.

Yeah, I'm not doubting
your sincerity,

but you don't need to do this.

-I do.
-No, you don't.

-We don't think you should.
-Why?

Well, because we don't
and it's unnecessary.

I'm really sorry
you feel that way.

[Rachel] Oh, no, some of these
are really fantastic, Alex.

Ah, thanks.
Yeah, maybe later

I'll show you the ones
with people in them

-when I'm feeling braver.
-[Rachel] Yeah.

But now I'm gonna go
and mess up my room.

Yeah, Mom tidied it.
I couldn't stop her, man.

Oh, yeah.
No worries.

It won't take me long
to mess it up,

and then it will feel
like home again.

-And speaking of home...
-Yeah.

I think we should wait.

You don't want to get
a place with me?

No, of course I do.

-But--
-Don't give me that look.

-You know I love you.
-Yeah, yeah.

But...

there's Alex.

He needs his big brother
right now a lot more

than I need a live-in
boyfriend.

And I think we owe him
some time to sort things out.

Say something.

I don't want to wait
to live with you.

I know, but it's not forever.

And...

What?

We're in this for the
long haul, aren't we?

Got the rest
of our lives, right?

Right.

You're awesome.

You're awesome,
you know that?

The kind of girl
that could care that much

about my brother,

she's worth waiting for.

I was looking forward
to trashing your place.

Get you back
for those teenage years.

Oh. Look, under
the circumstances,

I think you've made
the best possible decision.

-That goes for me, too.
-Thanks.

I appreciate it.

You sure you're okay?

If I'm honest, no.

I was really looking forward
to it, Mom.

Getting a place of our own,

-if we ever agreed on one.
-[chuckles]

-We were making a home.
-It'll happen.

-Hopefully.
-But for now,

I'm just gonna have to put up
with Dad's bad jokes

-for a little while longer.
-Well, what doesn't kill you

makes you stronger.

I would like you guys
to know, however,

that seeing as I am staying,

I would like to make
a few changes

just in recognition
of the fact

that I've actually
become an adult.

Oh, what sort of changes?

Um, I haven't decided yet,
but I'm gonna think

-about it while I plant this.
-Okay.

Of course, there is a downside
to Rachel not moving out.

-What's that?
-No pool room.

Aw.

-[Melissa] Hello.
-[Sammy] Hello.

-[Ben] Hey.
-[Melissa] Thanks for coming.

Hey.

You're brave coming here.

Oh, come on
the food's not that bad.

-No, not what I mean, but--
-No, I know and it's okay.

You seem so much better
than last time we saw you.

I am. And, ah, that's actually
the reason I called.

Look, I think I'm ready
to make contact with Nathan.

[Ben] Oh,
I'm so glad you said that.

It's killing me
not telling him.

I'm feeling stronger
and, yeah, I think I'm ready.

-I'm glad.
-[Sammy] So, um,

how do you think
I should go about it?

Do you think
I should just call him?

Actually,
just let me tell him.

-[Sammy] Really?
-[Ben] Yeah. It'll come

as a bit of a shock
and I live with him.

I can pick the right moment.

I've got some explaining
to do.

I'd prefer it
if it came from me.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

Okay.

-Well, cheers.
-Cheers.

[Ben] Cheers.

-Bloody Carbo.
-Poor thing.

-Nathan.
-We're telling him.

-Yep.
-No more excuses.

-No.
-How are we going to do it?

Not we, you.

You really pounded
the pavement.

I'm just trying to shake
this bad mood.

What's wrong?

Oh, it's just some stuff
with Mom and Dad.

They can just be
so damn negative sometimes.

-Right.
-Sorry, I shouldn't be

dumping this on you. You guys
are always there for me.

[Carbo] Hey, ah,

did you see
anyone outside?

You know, big bloke that looks
like Ivan Milat's cousin?

-No.
-Good.

Hey, look,
after much consideration,

I've decided I think
it's okay for you guys

to have that
vase thing there.

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

You're not gonna have
a big whinge

-about it later, are you?
-[Carbo] No, look,

I think it's okay
for you guys

to have one thing in here.

-Ah, maybe even two?
-Or three?

Uh...

Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, it's only fair.

-This is your home, too.
-[both] Thank you.

That's all right,
but, uh, excuse me.

Don't touch
my rooster again.

Okay?

Who are you hiding from now?
You're only going to work.

Well, work's not the problem.

It's getting there.

Wish me luck.

-Go tell Nathan.
-No, I can't tell him now.

You heard him,
he's too angry.

-Wimp.
-Wuss.

-Sook.
-Coward.

Hey, kid, do you want
to move out of the way?

I'm backing the car out.

Walla, walla, wincha?

Yeah, yeah.
Wa-wa wincha.

No, which is great,
but we're over that now, okay?

Do you want to be my vampire?

-What?
-[Georgia] 'Cause I wanna be

-your mortal.
-You?

You?

-How old are you?
-I'm 16.

-Sixteen?
-[Georgia] Okay, I'm not,

-but I'm old for my age.
-No, look, I am so sorry.

You really
should go home now.

But you said
all those things--

No, no, no, no, look,
I didn't know

you were, well,
who you are. I mean it.

Go home. Right now.

-But I love you.
-Oh.

[Georgia] And I know
you feel the same way.

No. Trust me, I do not.
Go home.

You know where
you should be right now,

you know, playing with
your dolls or something.

Oh, this isn't happening.

I thought
you were going to work?

Uh, what? I can't.

-What?
-She's underage.

She's so underage.

I'm gonna get arrested.

What was all that about?

I think Carbo's finally
cracked it.

Great. So I've got parents
who don't take me seriously

and a housemate
who's a nutcase.

That's the last thing
I need.

No, that is the last thing
I need!

Don't worry
I'll take care of it.

-Really?
-Really.

-I'll grab the dustpan.
-No, no, no, I've got it.

Thank you, Ben, I owe you.
I'm really sorry.

What?

You'd rather take the rap
for the broken rooster

-than tell Nathan?
-Look,

the rooster has spoken.

I'll tell him,
just not right now.

It's clearly
not a good time.

-Wimp.
-Wuss.

-Sook.
-Coward.

[upbeat pop song playing]

-[Jake] Hey.
-Hey.

Okay.

[Rachel exhales]

-Oh.
-What do you think?

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah, I think you've got
wallpaper paste

in your hair
and paint on your nose.

-Hey. No, come on.
-[chuckles]

I really want your opinion.

-It looks good, right?
-Mmm...

there is one thing...

[both] Ah!

-Now that looks better.
-Mmm-hmm.

So do you.

[Rachel] And in that moment
with Jake,

I was home.
We were home.

[instrumental music playing]

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