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.
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- ♪ Hallelujah,
Glory Hallelujah ♪
3
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,704
♪ I'm gonna praise His name
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00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:18,366
- ♪ Glory, Hallelujah, gonna
make His praises reign ♪
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00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:21,021
♪ Everybody, Lord,
walk by His side ♪
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00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,284
♪ Every step you've got
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00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,634
♪ I don't care what
the world may do ♪
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00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,201
♪ I'm gonna praise His--
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00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:39,126
♪
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What?
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- Hello.
I'm here to see Rosemary.
12
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- Yeah. She's dead.
13
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- Wait a second.
Who the hell are you?
14
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,103
And what's with the box
of rubbers?
15
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,062
- I'm so sorry
I didn't know.
16
00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,106
I'm an old friend of
Rosemary's.
17
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,368
I thought I'd surprise her,
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00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,630
'cause, you know,
it's her birthday.
19
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,241
- Yeah, I know it's her
birthday.
20
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,503
She's my dead mom.
What I don't know still
21
00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:10,200
is what's with the rubbers?
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Were you banging my mom?
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- Well, yes,
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00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,379
but she was a lot more than
a fanny-call.
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- I suppose I do.
I suppose I mean "booty."
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I didn't know she'd passed.
27
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We met years ago at
the Little Drywood Rodeo
28
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,823
and sort of took up with
each other.
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00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,651
Whenever I come to town
on business,
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I'd look Rosemary up and we'd--
we'd comfort each other.
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Repeatedly,
all over the house.
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- Oh, God.
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00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:36,357
Jack!
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00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,012
Please!
We both loved her.
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- Wrongo, Father time.
I loved her.
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00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,321
I've never even heard of you.
And how do you know my name?
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- Rosemary talked a lot
about you.
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May I ask, what have you
planned to celebrate her today?
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- Yeah, I, uh,
I don't celebrate
40
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,200
dead people's birthdays.
41
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Here's a fun secret:
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They don't mind.
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- We could visit her grave,
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00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,293
maybe have a good cry together.
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It's important to let these
things out.
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- Uh-huh.
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00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:06,300
♪
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00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,346
- In case you change your mind.
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00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,919
- One, two, three, four!
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00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,443
- ♪ Next time
I'll listen to my heart ♪
51
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:22,272
♪ Next time,
well, I'll be smart ♪
52
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:29,410
♪
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00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:34,937
- All right, everyone shut up
and finish shutting up fast.
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00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,939
I've had a very icky morning.
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Top ten ickiest of all time.
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00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,552
So I'm sitting there,
enjoying my shower,
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00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,076
this old guy shows up at
my door, unannounced,
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looking to bang my dead mom.
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00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,645
And as if that wasn't
gross enough,
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00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,299
the guy's name was Brandon.
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00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,692
Yeah, Brandon.
I mean, we're talking about
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00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:53,173
an old Brandon.
Now, this dude was old.
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00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,218
Must be the first
in the New World.
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00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,785
Anyway, this creep shows up
at my door,
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00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,917
inviting me to some sort
of crying ritual
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00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:00,180
for my dead mom's birthday.
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00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,529
What are you talking about,
man?
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00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,444
Old Brandon,
I do not need to cry.
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00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,974
Tempting to plow right
past this,
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00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,062
but, fine, I'll bite.
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00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,629
What's with the stupid dolls?
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00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,674
- These are infant simulators
from health class.
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00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,329
- They have to be fed, burped,
cuddled, changed regularly,
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00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,809
or otherwise they cry.
75
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,985
- They're perfect replicas
in every way,
76
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,421
except we can't bathe them.
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00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,031
- This project was totally
forced upon us.
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00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,337
I'm so busy with everything
I already do;
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00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,904
I can't add a baby to it.
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00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,514
- You're, uh, gripping that
little baby's skull
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00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,037
pretty tightly there, Sarika.
82
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,214
- I have tried all of
the cuddle configurations
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00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:35,693
in the manual
and none of them work.
84
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,956
- No, no. I will not be
sidetracked by this.
85
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,351
Today's mission is to retaliate
against Old Brandon.
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00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:44,180
This old bitch dropped
a bombshell on my life,
87
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,226
and I vow to pay him back
in kind.
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00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,880
- At the risk of incurring
your wrath--
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00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,447
don't you think you
should consider
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00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,057
genuinely commiserating
with this man?
91
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,842
I mean, you obviously have
some unresolved issues
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00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:54,973
about your mom.
93
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,237
Where you getting that from?
94
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,239
- You seem very glib about
how she's--
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00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,373
Yeah, well, that is
the adjective
96
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,809
that best describes her.
97
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,333
I'd say you guys should be more
concerned
98
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,812
if I start describing her
as "alive"
99
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,902
or "mommy who resides
in the attic."
100
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,339
Besides...
101
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,949
even if I did have feelings
about this,
102
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,386
I wouldn't need some sort of
hokey grieving ceremony
103
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,040
to get over them.
104
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,955
- My therapist said you need to
find a healthy outlet
105
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,305
for your feelings,
otherwise you'll act out.
106
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,742
For me, it was annihilating
mailboxes.
107
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,918
- I don't need help with
my dead mom's birthday.
108
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:30,008
I need personal bombshells that
will rock Old Brandon's world.
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00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:34,970
Ugh.
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00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,929
This is--this is untenable.
No, come on.
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00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,583
Grab your babies, and I want
you to throw them
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00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,846
in the closet right now, guys--
or you get an F.
113
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,587
- Mr. Griffin, these simulators
measure how well
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00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:44,893
we take care of them.
115
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,111
- If we abandon them
in a closet,
116
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,417
we'll get an F in Health.
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00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,114
Threatening "F"s is my thing.
118
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,029
I--
screw this.
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00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,204
Gonna go talk to Durbin.
120
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,260
- Hi, Dale.
121
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,001
- You didn't have to do that.
122
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,612
- Oh, well, you shouldn't have
to pick up trash
123
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,353
someone throws on the floor.
124
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:14,139
- No one has ever said that
to me before.
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00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,445
Here it goes.
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00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,926
Uh, Miss Stef, fair warning:
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00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,493
I'm coming at ya.
128
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,146
- Oh.
- I, uh...
129
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:24,672
Would very much like to buy you
a drink sometime.
130
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,369
Maybe go bowling or something.
131
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,458
- No, ma'am.
132
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:31,896
This would be a full-on
romantic date.
133
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,811
Perfect version of it ends
in some kissing.
134
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,944
- Um, you know what, actually,
I just got this
135
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:40,340
really expensive manicure, so I
really should not be bowling.
136
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820
- Well, then, simply do me
the courtesy of watching me
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00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:45,606
throw a few frames
and then we could adjourn
138
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,521
into the game room for some
Big Buck Hunter
139
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,000
and an appetizer sampler.
140
00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:51,525
And honestly,
if bowling is the issue,
141
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,961
I have other ideas.
142
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:56,747
We could go to the movies
or go to the zoo.
143
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,488
I could show you the roof.
- Listen, Dale,
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00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,795
I gotta be honest.
145
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:04,146
I would--I would never go on
a date with you.
146
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:08,672
Because, um, my best friend,
Mary,
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00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:11,327
she has a huge crush on you.
148
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,198
- Yep.
149
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,678
- Yep.
150
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,463
- Yep.
151
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,073
- Mm-hmm.
152
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,509
"
153
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,032
- That Mary, yes.
154
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:24,514
- I think I know who
you're talking about.
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00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,429
Didn't she had a crush on me.
156
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,996
- So it would violate
Girl Code
157
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,693
for me to date her crush.
158
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,913
So, uh, it just can't happen.
159
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:35,395
But thank you for your service.
160
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,440
It smells good in here.
161
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,399
- Thank you very much.
162
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,925
- This is my class.
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00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:46,318
Why can't I talk about
safe sex?
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00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,319
- Look, Michelle, this is
coming
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00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,930
from above, really, okay?
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00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,801
And I think it's good that
students feel
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00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,237
how hard it is to have a baby.
168
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,848
You know,
I don't have any babies,
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00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,327
but I've been in a restaurant
where one is screaming,
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00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,677
and it's like, no.
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00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,809
- Ralph, you know these
robot babies?
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00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,594
They suck!
- Ding, ding, ding.
173
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:01,986
Exactly.
- Yeah, you gotta
174
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:02,857
shut this down, man.
175
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,077
I need my kids focused on...
176
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,296
Uh...
177
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,472
- Yeah. Yes.
Yeah, perfect.
178
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,734
The A.P. te--
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00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,388
The babies are messing up
test prep.
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00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,129
- You know what, guys,
there's nothing I can do here.
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00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:17,393
I mean, Ohio is back to
abstinence-only education.
182
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,568
Our--
- Come on.
183
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,091
I need to give these kids
condoms.
184
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,876
Ralph, they work.
185
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,009
Otherwise Keith and I
would have...
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00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,533
100 or so kids.
187
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,099
Maybe two-hundy.
188
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,972
- Okay, Michelle, thank you
for being so open,
189
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,278
but the only thing that we're
allowed to say about condoms
190
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,280
is that they are 2% ineffective
191
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,457
and everyone is watching you
while you buy them.
192
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:41,286
So our only option is to scare
these kids off of sex entirely.
193
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:42,723
- Ralph.
Ralph, Ralph.
194
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,115
My kids are in no danger
of getting laid, okay?
195
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,900
They do not need
a sex deterrent, trust me.
196
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,641
If anybody needs
a sex deterrent,
197
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,469
it's wrinkly old gigolos who
travel from town to town,
198
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,950
seducing innocent old moms who
just want to enjoy a nice day
199
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,779
at the rodeo.
That's all they want.
200
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,607
Eh...
201
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:01,350
- I don't recognize
this country anymore.
202
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,483
- If we're gonna settle
the score with Old Brandon,
203
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,963
we're gonna have to divide
and conquer.
204
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,139
All right, B-squad's got
the babies under control.
205
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,881
A-squad, let's hear what you've
got on devastating Old Brandon.
206
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,187
- Just tell him that your mom
207
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,710
slept with everyone
on the block.
208
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,320
- Come on, Anthony,
I can't use that.
209
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,887
All right, keep in mind,
this is a bombshell
210
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,280
that's gonna be dropped
at her grave.
211
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,022
- And it's her birthday,
Anthony.
212
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,763
Show some respect.
213
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,156
- You know, sometimes I get mad
because I don't want to be sad.
214
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,551
- I'm just saying maybe
you're really sad.
215
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,335
- About your mom's birthday.
216
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,076
- You know what's really sad
is watching you guys
217
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,731
trying to analyze me with
your unfinished brains.
218
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,298
Somebody give me something
I can use, please.
219
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,342
Heather, go.
220
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,170
- Two words: sucker punch.
221
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,389
- All right, that's in
the right area.
222
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,956
Can't do that, though.
223
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,653
Fighting an old man's kind of
what got me banished
224
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,220
at Toledo in the first place.
Come on, guys!
225
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,656
Come on!
226
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,049
Don't you care that this man
banged my mom?
227
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,051
Son of a bitch!
- Seems like you're being
228
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,182
a bit of a prude.
229
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,881
Well, that's not possible.
230
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,840
How could I be a prude when
I have had sex with...
231
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:59,451
all: Twenty-four women.
232
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,584
- We get it.
233
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,586
- Mr. Griffin, I think
I have something.
234
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,979
Despite being in B-squad,
235
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,502
I have discovered
that Old Brandon
236
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,591
has a daughter here in Toledo.
237
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,378
- Sadie Rodonski.
A personal injury lawyer.
238
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,903
You know what, this could
actually be perfect.
239
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:18,035
I could tell his daughter about
his disgusting affair
240
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,211
with my dead mom.
She'd be completely yucked out
241
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,865
just like I was.
It'll ruin all their
242
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,737
family dinners
for the rest of their lives.
243
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:24,738
Even Steven.
244
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,130
- That doesn't sound even.
245
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,263
That just sounds like
harassing a stranger.
246
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:31,266
- Uh, yes, hi.
I have been severely
247
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:32,702
personally injured.
248
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,487
I'd like to speak to your
top attorney, please.
249
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:36,706
No, no, no. Not her.
250
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,230
Get me Sadie Rodonski.
251
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:44,453
.
252
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,324
- All right, Mr. Griffin.
253
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,500
Thanks for waiting.
254
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,633
Let's see if we can get
you paid.
255
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:54,681
So what is the nature
of your injury?
256
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:57,292
- Well, I have been
severely grossed out.
257
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,165
- Unfortunately, yeah,
to the max.
258
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,124
Sadie, I hate to spring this
on you,
259
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,649
but our old parents...
260
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,652
well, they, uh, they...
261
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,263
they put their stuff
all over each other.
262
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,657
- Oh, my God.
Are you Rosemary's kid?
263
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,485
- Wait a minute, you already
know about this?
264
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:17,573
- Yes.
265
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,357
- Damn it.
266
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:22,186
I...I was hoping to devastate
you to get back at your dad.
267
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,188
- Oh, my God.
I totally get that.
268
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:26,277
I mean, I hated your mom
when I found out.
269
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,671
They got together, like, eight
weeks after my mom's funeral.
270
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:31,543
- Oh, ouch.
So your mom's dead too, huh?
271
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,762
- She's dead.
272
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:33,981
- Yeah, sounds like your
dad's got a type.
273
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,332
Almost-dead people.
274
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,033
I mean, did you just want me
to get me to picture
275
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:46,515
these two white raisins
stuck together
276
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,082
so I'd pick a fight
with my dad?
277
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,213
- Yeah, that was
pretty much it.
278
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,563
- Yeah, that's pretty
conniving.
279
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:52,869
So I guess you're not just
a face.
280
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,915
You've got a brain too.
281
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,177
- Oh, yeah, I got
a big old brain.
282
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,701
Yeah, PhD from Harvard.
283
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,705
- You know, I just thought
of a really fun way
284
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:06,578
that we could get back
at our folks.
285
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:11,671
♪
286
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:12,541
Lock the door.
287
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,109
You sure?
288
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,720
- Devastate me.
289
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,069
♪
290
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,384
- I'll get the art room today.
291
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,168
- Oh, okay, just 'cause they
gave you the keys,
292
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,822
you my boss now?
293
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,740
- Oh, hey, Dale.
What's up?
294
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:42,092
- Oh, boy. Uh, let me
stop you right there.
295
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:45,182
You are clearly a good
and kind person
296
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,794
who deserves happiness
with someone.
297
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,274
But I am not that someone.
298
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,276
And you have to get that
through your head.
299
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,757
- The best thing for you to do
300
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,239
is just forget about me.
301
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:06,160
You can tell your parents we're
dating, if that's helpful.
302
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:24,787
- Twenty-five, bitches.
303
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,051
Yeah, after a very productive
meeting with Sadie Rodonski
304
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:31,663
this morning, I have now had
sex with 25 women.
305
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:35,885
And am armed with a bombshell
that is going to destroy
306
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,278
Old Brandon's life.
307
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,759
- So you just had sex
before work?
308
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:40,934
- Yeah, man.
309
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,892
- Are you prepared for
the consequences?
310
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,285
She could get pregnant.
311
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,416
- No, we were safe.
We were safe.
312
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,983
It's fine. It's fine.
313
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,202
I think...
314
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,551
I think we'll be...fine.
315
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,510
The sperm can't crack
the lady's eggshell
316
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:53,947
unless they're in love.
317
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,775
Wow, you guys
really do need Sex Ed.
318
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,428
Plus, you're focused on
the wrong part, man.
319
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,387
I have my bombshell.
This is great.
320
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:01,258
All I have to do now is call
Old Brandon,
321
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,825
arrange to meet him
at my mom's grave,
322
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,174
and then...
323
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,572
Using sex as a weapon seems
extreme, even for you.
324
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,400
- Marcus, I'm not using sex
as a weapon.
325
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,837
I'm using the fact
that I happened into
326
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,622
organic, consensual, wonderful
love-making
327
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,843
as a tool to destroy my enemy.
328
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,410
Plus, Saddie and I are cool,
man.
329
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,846
You know, we're having drinks
on Friday,
330
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,021
so, yeah.
331
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,153
Now, if guys will excuse me,
332
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,198
I'm gonna call the old letch.
333
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,245
- Guys, just let him go.
334
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:32,681
- He's being self-destructive.
335
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:35,031
I already deal with this brat.
336
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,380
I can't care of another one.
337
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:37,860
- At what age do you think
we'll start
338
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:41,385
"happening into organic,
wonderful love
339
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,824
- I don't think we're those
kind of guys.
340
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,348
- Oh, yeah, man.
I'm so down to grieve.
341
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,741
Yeah, you know, I need this
for my heart.
342
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,352
Yeah, no, I'll meet you
right there.
343
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,875
I'll meet you right
at the gravestone.
344
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,008
We'll turn on the waterworks.
It's gonna be great.
345
00:13:59,229 --> 00:13:59,447
.
346
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,449
- Hey, Mary.
347
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,190
You know, you know, let's eat
lunch in my car today.
348
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,801
All these crying babies
got my womb twitching.
349
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,716
- Mm-hmm.
Just give a minute.
350
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:11,415
- And by the way,
so I might have told
351
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:14,941
Dale the janitor that you might
have a crush on him.
352
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,551
He asked me out, and
I kind of panicked.
353
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,248
- Oh, well, this explains
a lot.
354
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,424
He just came in here
and shot me down, hard.
355
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:21,425
Like, out of nowhere.
356
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,166
- Mary, I am so sorry.
357
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,428
See, this is my fault.
I'm gonna go.
358
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,908
- I don't have time to be mad
at you.
359
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,258
He took it way too far.
360
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,913
I'm gonna hook him and then
dump him on his ass.
361
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,524
This here is a janitor trap.
362
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,832
See, tonight, Dale's gonna
come in and spot this $5 bill
363
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,095
sitting conspicuously
on my trashcan.
364
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,836
That's the bait.
- Okay.
365
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,098
- And now you know he's gonna
dive right now,
366
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,534
rooting around for more.
367
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:44,796
- Greedy little pig.
368
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,102
- But what we'll find instead
369
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,626
is a selection of carefully
curated items,
370
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,846
which you might call
sexy trash.
371
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,936
Such as a flattering photo
of moi.
372
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,938
- Yeah.
373
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,070
- The novel "Dune."
374
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,159
All guys like that.
375
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,683
A yoga award for most flexible.
376
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,076
- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm.
377
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,816
And then just some old
regular trash
378
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,470
so he feels good about
doing his job.
379
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:09,821
Once he gets all thirsty,
that dirty like dastard's
380
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,301
gonna come running back
to mama,
381
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,737
begging for a drink,
382
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,957
which I'll be delighted
to deny him.
383
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,480
- This is a lot, Mary.
Okay?
384
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,482
I mean, I would have just keyed
his car.
385
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:21,485
- Well, I teach Art, Stef.
I like crafts.
386
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,840
- Hey.
387
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,973
I know we started off on
a bad foot,
388
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,670
but I'm glad you decided
to come.
389
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,803
- Yeah, well, you really threw
me for a loop there,
390
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:35,978
you know?
391
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:36,979
But it's okay, it's fine.
392
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,112
So, no big.
393
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,114
Uh, you wanna get this thing
going or what?
394
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,333
- Oh, would you like to start
by saying a few words
395
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,465
about your mom?
396
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:45,553
- Uh, no, you know what,
397
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,163
I think it's better
if you go first.
398
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:48,251
I want to go last.
You go first. Go, go, go.
399
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:53,126
- Oh, well, after my wife died,
400
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,128
I didn't think I'd ever feel
passion...
401
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:56,694
- Right.
- Again.
402
00:15:56,738 --> 00:16:00,698
But my heart found its feet
once more with Rosemary.
403
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,265
- I banged your daughter.
404
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,402
Why aren't you reacting?
Did I break your old brain?
405
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,448
- Well, color me not surprised.
406
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,711
You two are a couple
of hot tamales.
407
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,279
I'm glad the two of you found
comfort in each other's arms.
408
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,238
- You know, that's your
daughter, you sleaze.
409
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:21,023
- I'm what you call
"sex positive."
410
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:24,548
Daughters have sex, Jack.
So do mothers.
411
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,681
And it seems our families
generate some pretty potent
412
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,509
sexual chemistry.
413
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,120
- Look, you're bound to feel
big feelings
414
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,469
here at this place.
415
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:36,038
It's okay to let it out, Jack.
Huh?
416
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,432
Come on, son.
It's okay to cry.
417
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,826
Ooh!
418
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,089
- Oh!
419
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:45,874
Ah!
420
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,877
Stop!
421
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,012
♪
422
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:57,059
- These babies are getting
out of hand, Ralph.
423
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,756
The students aren't sleeping,
424
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,062
the parents are complaining.
425
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,846
And all the other teachers
hate me!
426
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,674
- Okay, Alyssa, Alyssa.
I'm sure they don't hate you.
427
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:06,503
- Coach Novak threw
a dirty diaper at my head.
428
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:09,376
Which I'm now realizing must
have been from his nephew
429
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:13,293
or something, which means he
drove to school with it.
430
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,948
But for now, we got to tough it
out with these babies,
431
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,689
for the next couple of days.
432
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,735
- They're not responding to the
soothing techniques anymore.
433
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:22,954
I think there's something
really wrong with them, Ralph.
434
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:26,262
- Okay, I may have gone outside
official supply lines
435
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:29,178
to get a discount, but when
the guy sold them to me,
436
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,788
he said they were
slightly irregular.
437
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:33,226
I assumed that meant
it was how their fingers
438
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,054
looked like tiny penises.
439
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,533
I didn't know they
were gonna malfunction.
440
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,754
- Well, they are, Ralph.
What are we gonna do?
441
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:40,798
Oh, God.
442
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,148
Sorry.
443
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,540
It looks like Willem Dafoe.
444
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,458
- Oh.
It's a compliment.
445
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,199
- It says this should work.
446
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,809
Why isn't it working?
447
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,985
- I can't swaddle any tighter.
448
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,989
- Can't find my sucky...
449
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,035
food juice can.
450
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,341
Stupid mom brain.
451
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,212
Hey, hold on to my grade
for a second
452
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:06,433
while I stop by my locker.
453
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,826
- Latch on, damn it.
Latch on.
454
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,176
- Shut up!
455
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:13,309
Shut up your silly
cybernetic offspring.
456
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,919
- Whoa, did you get in
a fight?
457
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,009
- Yeah, Old Brandon frickin'
decked me.
458
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,011
But get this, guys: I told him
I boinked his daughter;
459
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,274
he didn't give a hoot.
460
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,014
Stupid hippie thought
it was neat.
461
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,625
- So why did he knock you
around then?
462
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,975
- Well, because I tried to
sucker punch him, Heather.
463
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,020
And how are old men so strong?
464
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,849
I mean, this guy had the grip
strength of an orangutan.
465
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:34,069
It was insane.
- Shh!
466
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:41,032
- Seriously,
shut those babies up.
467
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,165
- We can't!
They won't stop.
468
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,036
- This is how the world is now.
469
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,386
- Mother of God.
470
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,344
The sound is burrowing
into my brain.
471
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,694
It's worse than Marcus.
- Hey, that's unfair.
472
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,001
I am the bereaved
party here.
473
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:56,265
Some traveling pervert steals
my mom's birthday from me
474
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,093
and then has
the grey-haired balls
475
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,530
to tell me how to deal
with her death?
476
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:03,359
♪
477
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,231
Give me the babies.
478
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,189
Just give me all the babies.
479
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,365
Stupid thing.
Come on, give it to me.
480
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,454
Give this to me.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
481
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,543
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it, guys.
482
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:16,242
Yeah, yep, all the babies.
483
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,331
I'm gonna deal with this
baby problem right now.
484
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:20,811
.
485
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,859
- Give me that.
486
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,469
Gimme, gimme.
Gimme babies.
487
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:27,601
Throw it in.
488
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:28,906
Baby.
489
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:31,822
Here we go.
490
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,782
Where's my baby?
491
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,653
- Mr. Griffin sort of took it.
492
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:40,527
- He took them all.
We're free.
493
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:41,832
- But I'll get an F in Health.
494
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,747
My baby! My baby!
495
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:48,709
♪
496
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,500
- No!
- It's okay, Sarika.
497
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,762
There's no more assignment.
498
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:00,808
We can't be graded on
any of this now.
499
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:03,680
- All quiet.
500
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:12,211
- It's over.
501
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:16,258
♪
502
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,738
- There we go.
503
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:23,222
♪
504
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,747
Whoo!
505
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,359
That was the ticket
right there.
506
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,013
I feel refreshed, you know?
507
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,276
Nothing like a dip sometimes.
508
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,322
So, uh, what do you guys
want to do?
509
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,888
Go back to class?
510
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:40,804
Yeah.
511
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,634
Old Brandon's probably
an all right guy.
512
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,027
Yeah.
513
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:51,815
♪
514
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:55,384
I have got to tell you.
515
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:56,951
You have the sexiest trash
516
00:20:56,994 --> 00:21:00,737
I have ever dumped into
a larger bin.
517
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,871
You ever been to the good
gravel pit?
518
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:06,047
- Ooh, now, you know,
I would love to,
519
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:10,660
but my friend Stef has
the biggest crush on you.
520
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:12,488
- Ooh.
521
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:15,709
[Wolf Parade "You Are A Runner
and I Am My Father's Son"]
522
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,363
- You two have fun.
523
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:22,063
♪
37707
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