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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,502
.
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:04,538
- All right, everybody,
3
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,240
let's go ahead
and start to shut up.
4
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,109
We're gonna jump right in
on the one subject
5
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,044
that brings me a little
bit of joy in Toledo
6
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,379
where I find myself
currently trapped--
7
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,281
taking down my rival Miles.
8
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,748
Now, I had a pretty good
idea.
9
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,684
I was thinking maybe
we could hack into his Tesla.
10
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,486
How hard would that be?
I know it's possible.
11
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,088
You think you guys
could do that,
12
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,655
or are you guys
the kinda nerds
13
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,157
that are good at computers,
14
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,258
or are you the kinda nerds
15
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,060
that smell bad and wear capes?
16
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,534
Uh, you know what? Let's go
ahead a pin in that,
17
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,669
because a cute girl
who actually meets my standards
18
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,271
has swiped right on me.
19
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,772
I don't know if you guys
know what that means,
20
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,509
but basically, it just means
that it's--it's bang time.
21
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:45,279
- Is it going to be happening
here in front of us?
22
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,115
- No, Anthony, it's not
gonna be happening
23
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,449
in front of you,
you little freak!
24
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,118
No, we're gonna go
get a drink.
25
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,485
Guys, gotta say...
26
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,087
I got a really good feeling
about this one.
27
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,422
Can I get a "get some"?
28
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,124
- Get some!
29
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,858
- That ma girl!
All right!
30
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,262
Um...see ya, dudes.
31
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,133
[Ramones'
"Listen to My Heart"]
32
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,600
- One, two, three, four!
33
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,303
- * Next time
I'll listen to my heart *
34
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:12,173
* Next time
well I'll be smart *
35
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:19,180
*
36
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,150
- Now boarding
for New York city.
37
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:30,658
*
38
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,104
- Whoo!
39
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,548
- If it's on my license,
you know,
40
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,184
they're not gonna
want to save me.
41
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,351
- No.
- They're gonna wanna
42
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,619
harvest my organs.
- Yes!
43
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,388
- That's what they want,
they want my organs.
44
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,523
- Yes, exactly. And I am
not gonna die on the table
45
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,326
so some drunk slob
can get my liver.
46
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,627
- No, no, no.
No, that's not fair.
47
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,928
- No!
- You should have your liver.
48
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,763
- It's very good.
It's pristine.
49
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,599
- Yeah, exactly.
- Nice...
50
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:20,241
- So, you wanna...
head up to your place?
51
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,476
- I really like you, Jack.
52
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:26,347
I just...I just wanna get to
know you a little bit better.
53
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,183
- Yeah, sure.
More dates.
54
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,518
I'm around.
55
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,919
- Cool. Good night.
56
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,654
- Good night.
57
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,727
*
58
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,330
- Wake up.
We're in Toledo.
59
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,598
Time to go to work.
60
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,601
- Now boarding
for Cleveland...
61
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,939
- Okeydokey,
Principal Durbin.
62
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,574
Here are
your daily announcements.
63
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,543
- Thank you, Helen.
- You're welcome.
64
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,411
- Betty bought butter but
the butter was bitter, so Betty
65
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,912
bought better butter to make
the bitter butter better.
66
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,348
Ah.
67
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,785
The Magazine Drive
ends Friday.
68
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,921
O...kay.
Oh!
69
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,291
Oh! Text from Jack.
70
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,261
"Running late.
Can you cover for me, bud?"
71
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,695
Called me bud.
Helen, you gotta
72
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,265
do the announcements
just this one time, okay?
73
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,866
- Oh, no, I can't do that.
74
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,534
I get way too nervous.
75
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,236
I-I was in
my cousin's wedding,
76
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,872
and if you've never fainted
77
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,774
mouth-first onto a candle...
78
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,476
it was a nightmare.
79
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,378
I-I actually ate fire.
80
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,580
No, I can't--
I can't do that.
81
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,815
- Just read off the paper.
It'll be fine, okay?
82
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,485
It'll be so easy.
83
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,890
- Jack! You look really bad.
84
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,626
- Yeah. Had a...bit of
a rough one last night.
85
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,528
I had a date in New York.
86
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,430
- "Ooh, look at me.
I'm Jack.
87
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,499
I'm too good
for Toledo women."
88
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,534
- Well I'm glad you understand.
89
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,437
Look, maybe taking a bus
to New York isn't ideal,
90
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,005
but it's worth it
to date a woman
91
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,707
who doesn't believe
in angels.
92
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,675
- They're watching over us.
- They help us.
93
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,544
- Don't hate on an--
You know what?
94
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,313
Wouldn't it be easier
to just come to the bar
95
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,714
with us tonight?
96
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,416
Come on.
97
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,384
Yeah, sure, maybe I should
just go ahead
98
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,486
and alienate all of
my core principles
99
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,455
and date in Toledo.
While I'm at it,
100
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,023
maybe I can eat pie
on the toilet.
101
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,591
- I've done that.
- Okay, see,
102
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,927
don't disrespect pie.
- That's disgusting!
103
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,964
Good morning, Whitlock High.
104
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,033
It's your daily announcements.
105
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,837
*
106
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,706
It's Meatloaf Day
in the cafeteria.
107
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:36,043
There will be
a vegetarian option.
108
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,446
Too bad there's not
an edible option.
109
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,382
Oh. Thank you.
110
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:45,353
Creamed spinach
will also be served.
111
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,855
And for dessert--
violent illness.
112
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,858
Salmonella pie.
- Oh!
113
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,861
The green apple
two-trot.
114
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,331
- That's...funny.
That--Okay.
115
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,832
- And now, a special guest
116
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,835
to make your morning
announcement.
117
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,538
This is Coach Novak.
118
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,807
There's gonna be
immediate suspension
119
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,410
if anybody's gawking
at pornography.
120
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,946
- Ha ha. She's really
bustin' my chops.
121
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,786
- Hey, guys, this was
a real kick.
122
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,021
Don't tell anybody
that I, you know,
123
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,490
went over my--
aah!
124
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,759
- Oh!
125
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,563
- Wow. I always thought
announcements were...
126
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,432
a way to impart
vital information,
127
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,401
but I guess what people
like more
128
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,669
are dumb...stupid
dumb jokes.
129
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,571
- Okay, everybody,
I'm here.
130
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:38,839
Thank you so much
for covering.
131
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,441
I really appreciate it.
You're the best.
132
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,043
The best at what?
133
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,579
- He is an odd little duck.
134
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,082
Oh, my God, Heather,
thank you for asking,
135
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,718
but, no,
I did not get any.
136
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,653
I been commuting to New York
to go on dates,
137
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,588
which is a little bit
complicated, to say the least.
138
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,657
But now, for practical reasons,
I find myself
139
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,858
considering dating in Toledo.
140
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,627
- Uh, at the risk of being
contrary,
141
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,163
haven't you already
dated in Toledo?
142
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,998
Doesn't your high school
ex
143
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,734
- Oh, look.
It's you.
144
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,069
Wonderful.
Good to see you, Marcus. Yes.
145
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,771
Meredith
is the exception, you know.
146
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,673
But there's always
gonna be an exception.
147
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,074
You see, sophisticated
New York women,
148
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,509
they're really more my type.
149
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,110
You guys know what type is,
right?
150
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,479
Victor, what's your type?
151
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,747
- Your type.
152
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,549
Who would you wanna
get with?
153
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,784
- Like...if I could
marry anyone?
154
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,986
Yeah, sure, man.
Whatever.
155
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,721
Just say who it is.
156
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,590
- I don't wanna say.
157
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,759
Oh...is it something weird?
Is it like somebody
158
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,594
in your family?
- No!
159
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,162
You could just say who it is,
160
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,197
or I could just keep guessing.
Is it your sister?
161
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,500
- It's her.
- Oh. Cool.
162
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,435
It's somebody who's...
in the room.
163
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,603
That's great.
We can follow up.
164
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,706
Grace, do you like Victor?
165
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,174
No! That's too bad.
166
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,776
But you know what,
it's gotta feel good
167
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,143
to get that off your chest,
clear that up.
168
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,679
All right, guys.
Good job, everybody.
169
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,914
See ya tomorrow.
Grace...
170
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,649
Good job today.
171
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,485
Success!
172
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,957
*
173
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,226
- Oh, look who showed up.
174
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,928
- Yeah, well,
it was either this
175
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,163
or a 15-hour bus ride
to Long Island,
176
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,732
so...it was a toss-up.
177
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,767
- Mm-hmm. What the hell
are you wearing?
178
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,736
I'm sorry--did you
just come back from court?
179
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,472
- Yes. And the judge ruled
I look awesome.
180
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,573
- Ah!
181
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,509
- Well, we're glad
you came.
182
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,676
- Oh, I'm not.
183
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,044
You don't wanna
see me drink.
184
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,680
I get really emotional
and clean out my purse.
185
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,148
It's nuts.
- Oh, well, that was
186
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,683
a long way around
"no, thank you."
187
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,486
- Yeah, she does that.
So, Jack,
188
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,054
here's what
we're talking about.
189
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,924
Now, I'm looking to catch
a financially stable man
190
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,227
for a casual yet respectable
situationship.
191
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,895
- Hmm.
- And Mary over here
192
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,664
is looking for
a scuzzy little liar.
193
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,065
- Oh, you always
hated Mark.
194
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,768
- Well, he stole
your computer.
195
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,571
- He's fixing the viruses.
- No, he's not.
196
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,573
- I'll tell you what
kind of guy I like.
197
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,608
My husband Keith.
He's so good to me.
198
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,976
He planted me
a secret garden.
199
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,612
I don't know what's in there.
I think it's tomatoes!
200
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,581
Ha ha ha ha.
- So what are you
201
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,149
looking for, Jack?
- Well...
202
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,585
this one over by the bar
seems acceptable to me.
203
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,253
- Oh, she's acceptable.
- Oh, yes.
204
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,955
She will serve my needs nicely.
- Her parents must be so proud.
205
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,691
- Stop it, I mean,
no, she's...she's cute.
206
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,859
- That's our yoga teacher
Vicky.
207
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,594
- Ah.
- Okay, we'll go grease
208
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,029
the runway, but you
have to land the plane.
209
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,130
- Uh...I think I got it.
210
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,266
- Okay...
211
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,034
- Yeah.
212
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,003
I, uh...
213
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,606
had sex with the Head
of Women's Studies,
214
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,008
so I think I can handle
Yoga Vicky, right?
215
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,276
Ah...
216
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,044
- This is who we were
talking about.
217
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,146
Jack is so smart
218
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,683
and has so many sweaters...
219
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,018
- So, Jack, we're gonna
go grab another drink.
220
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,554
Will you keep our friend
Vicky company?
221
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,322
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
222
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,257
- Hi, Jack.
Nice to meet you.
223
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,893
- Hi. It's nice
to meet you too.
224
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,895
It's, uh...always nice
to meet new people.
225
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,296
I just moved here
from Cambridge.
226
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,799
That's where Harvard is.
227
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,000
I taught there.
At Harvard.
228
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,069
I was a philosophy
professor, so...
229
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,906
- Okay.
- At Harvard.
230
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,775
It's a prestigious
university in the Northeast.
231
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,243
- I know.
232
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,045
Oh...I have
a work emergency.
233
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,815
Michelle told me
where you work.
234
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,750
- Well, then you know
what this is.
235
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,855
*
236
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:18,091
,
237
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,061
- Morning, boss!
238
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,963
Want a little
touch-up before we--
239
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,965
*
240
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,967
- Dennis, roll it.
241
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,736
I got a new take.
242
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,870
Okay...
243
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,105
Ahh.
Yeah.
244
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,075
Good mornin', Whitlock High!
245
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,911
Here's the morning
announcements in your face!
246
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,279
Ooh!
247
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,248
Guess what's for lunch today.
Pizza!
248
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,751
With a side order
of hepatitis A.
249
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,919
Ha ha. Cafeteria food.
250
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,220
Sucks! Right?
251
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,922
You know who else
has hepatitis A?
252
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,991
Jeremy Jones.
253
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,328
Jeremy will be spending
254
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,831
some time at
Children's Hospital,
255
00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:00,333
so everybody sign
the big card.
256
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,102
We love you, Jeremy.
257
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:06,106
Oh! My God, a huge celebrity
just dropped by.
258
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,142
Yo, whazzup?
259
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,411
It's Snoop Da-zoggy Dogg!
260
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,013
Get your tickets
261
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,682
to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
262
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,283
- I think that's blackface.
263
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,617
- Ah, l--
264
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,024
- Uh, thanks for asking.
I don't know.
265
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,760
I don't know.
Last night, I opened myself up
266
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:27,961
to dating Toledo women.
267
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,264
One would think.
268
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,233
Uh, no, you know what?
I...
269
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,168
I came up empty all night.
270
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,170
You know, I have devoted
my entire life
271
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,840
to studying logic
and reason, but this...
272
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,276
this night made me
question everything. Truly.
273
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,311
I-I-I just--
274
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,914
I don't know what...
went wrong.
275
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,181
- You probably talked about
Harvard
276
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,318
and philosophy too much.
- Sarika...
277
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,186
you may have stumbled
onto something there.
278
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,856
Mm-hmm. You're saying
that it was too in their face
279
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,691
how much better I was
than them.
280
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,959
- That...wasn't really
281
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,694
what I--
- A preemptive self-rejection.
282
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,295
An interesting concept,
and I think we should
283
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,931
get it on its feet.
Victor.
284
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,265
Please, no more...
285
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,767
- Is that why you've
never confessed
286
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,268
your secret crush on Grace?
287
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,203
Because you're afraid
that she's going to reject you.
288
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,404
You think that
you are beneath her.
289
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,073
Please wake up.
290
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,207
Please wake up.
- Grace, do you think
291
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,809
you could ever be
into Victor?
292
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,812
What's wrong with him?
- I don't want to say.
293
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,347
- Oh. You don't wanna say.
294
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,282
Maybe it's you
that's into weird stuff.
295
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,052
Maybe I should start guessing--
- I have a secret boyfriend.
296
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,020
- It's not a secret
297
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,221
to the boyfriend.
- Okay, this is good.
298
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,090
Yeah, no, okay, so, um,
299
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,059
Grace, who is the lucky guy?
300
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,128
- It's Marcus.
301
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,035
- Okay. Well, this has been a
surprisingly productive class.
302
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:43,971
Thank you, Grace.
Thank you, Victor.
303
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,973
This has been very helpful
for me.
304
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,507
Good work.
305
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,410
- Yeah, girl.
- I might have to
306
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,245
sneak in there.
- Hey, guys. Okay,
307
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,447
so I think you were right.
I misplayed it last night.
308
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,051
- I get it, I get it. I
hashed it out with my students,
309
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,153
and I realized
with my Harvard pedigree,
310
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,455
I was like a Grace
in a bar full of Victors.
311
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,125
But I get it now.
Let's get back in there
312
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,094
and let's get after it.
I need you guys to wing me.
313
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,462
Let's go.
314
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,131
- Yes!
315
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,265
What was it again?
316
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,167
- Just...be normal.
317
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,470
- Right. Just...
normal.
318
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,472
- Why are you
saying it weird?
319
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,374
- Jack, it's "nermal."
Oh, my God,
320
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,076
now I can't say it either.
321
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,511
- Sorry, Jack,
it's a no.
322
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,146
- How 'bout this.
I'll buy drinks all night.
323
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,414
- Good answer!
- Here we go.
324
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,216
- Good answer, good answer.
- Normal.
325
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,785
Thank God
I got it back.
326
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:32,953
Whew!
327
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,324
- Ooh. Now, there's
a sturdy one,
328
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,360
looking like he could mow
his lawn in a tornado.
329
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,962
- Well, you better
give it up
330
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,196
for these pear-shaped men
331
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,165
lookin' just like they mamas.
- Mmm...
332
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,934
- Hey, hey.
What do you guys think?
333
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,235
Took your advice.
- You know,
334
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,569
mm-mm, I'm sorry,
I forgot, ladies.
335
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,371
Was our advice
to make him look like
336
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:54,507
a cell phone salesman
from the mall kiosk?
337
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,443
- Ha ha ha ha.
No, no, no.
338
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,545
This is so the Toledo women
will not be intimidated by me.
339
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,281
- Oh, so you think
this is what's normal here?
340
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,051
- Yep. Tonight I'm just
normal old Toledo Jack.
341
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,586
Oh, waiter? Yeah. Can I get
a plate of cheese fries
342
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,055
and any kind of a beer
343
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,090
that's got a landscape
on the can.
344
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,860
Let's do this!
345
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:16,997
.
346
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:17,831
- All right, guys,
ready to set me up?
347
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,133
Grease the runway?
348
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,601
- No, no, no, no, no,
Toledo Jack.
349
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,070
We wants no parts
350
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,537
of whatever is happening here.
- Right.
351
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,573
But do leave your tab
open--thank you.
352
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,076
- Yeah, yeah.
All right, here we go.
353
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,878
- Good luck.
- Watch him leave.
354
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,880
Look--Look at it.
Look at his belt.
355
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,282
- Ah...man.
Feels good to sit down.
356
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,984
Can I buy you a drink?
357
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,953
- Sure, I'll...
I'll have another house wine.
358
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,255
- Great. Another
house wine, please.
359
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,357
Yeah, so...
360
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,526
Isis.
361
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,129
Don't those guys
drive you nuts?
362
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,931
- You know, for me,
363
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,866
it's like, ah, God,
stop, you know?
364
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,302
You make me sick.
365
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,569
- Yeah. Isis isn't great.
366
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,039
- Yeah. No.
It's like, you know--
367
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:04,544
[background chatter,
music playing]
368
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,879
Ahh...hey.
369
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,281
Are you, uh, an organ donor?
370
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,250
- Yeah, of course.
- Of course you are. Me too.
371
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,920
I would love to be able
to...you know, donate my--
372
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,454
I mean, I don't wanna die,
but if I did,
373
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:17,991
I wanna give some kid
the gift of sight, you know?
374
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,459
Maybe I would get to see
the world
375
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,928
through a child's
eyes again.
376
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,063
Is that how it works?
I don't know.
377
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,298
I'm just some normal guy.
I don't read much.
378
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:31,238
.
379
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,172
- * I love gin juice
That is funny.
380
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,641
* Drivin' in my car
381
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,243
* Gin juice
382
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,046
- Is there anything
that I can do before I go?
383
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,415
- No, uh, Helen,
I think you've done enough.
384
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,484
- Ralph, is there something--
385
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,386
Can you do that, Helen?
Can you close the door?
386
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,655
Or is that too simple?
Do you need to
387
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,223
put like a fun spin on it.
388
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,092
Or can I have.
The door. Closed.
389
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,261
Which is...all I ever...
wanted?
390
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,698
See how easy that was?
391
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,967
- Oh, no.
- Excellent.
392
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,568
- I'm doing this!
393
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,703
- This place sucks.
- Please.
394
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,372
Did you think that
wearing a golf shirt
395
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,407
and talking about
organ donors would work?
396
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,276
I think you're afraid
397
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,444
you'll meet someone
and like Toledo.
398
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,280
- Ooh! Michelle, comin'
through with the realness.
399
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,315
And while you're "slumming" it
400
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,150
with the commoners...
- Here we go.
401
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,987
- You're missing out
on some fabulous women.
402
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,488
Okay?
- Truth bomb.
403
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,457
- All right, well, thanks
for the therapy, buds,
404
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,559
I appreciate it,
but I'm done with this place.
405
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,996
- Oh, stay! We're gonna
get some fire wings
406
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,097
and do pucker shots.
407
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,631
- Plus, Michelle is drinking,
408
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,202
and so we might need a white
man to talk to the cops.
409
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,736
- Well, this was fun,
but I think I'm gonna
410
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,072
close out my tab. Sorry, guys.
- Oh...
411
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,275
- Hey, can I close out,
please? Thanks.
412
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,611
- Not a single imported
beer.
413
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,613
God, I forgot
I'm in Garbage City.
414
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,149
- It's actually Glass City.
415
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,519
- Yeah, no thanks.
416
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,621
I'm good. I don't need
to update my cell phone plan.
417
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,256
- Oh, no, no,
these clothes--
418
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,991
I'm doing
a social experiment.
419
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:00,994
I'm actually just in town
for a brief stint.
420
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,295
I'm taking a break
from Harvard.
421
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,164
- Oh.
422
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,066
Forget that.
423
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,367
I-I'm jack.
424
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,502
I take it you're not
from around here either?
425
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,404
- Chloe. From Baltimore.
426
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,706
- Yeah, I can see that
you enjoy this city
427
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,075
about as much as I do.
428
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,309
- It's the worst.
- Yeah.
429
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,045
- Oh, don't even try
getting decent sushi.
430
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,579
- It's impossible.
431
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,481
I worry about
432
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,250
the doctors. I mean, if you're
actually good at surgery,
433
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,584
what are you doing here?
I mean, how did you
434
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,219
not move to Chicago?
435
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,754
- Well, at least
the people are amazing.
436
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,322
- Oh, yeah.
I mean
437
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,291
like that guy over there
with his gut hanging out?
438
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,760
He just invited me to his
summer home in Provence.
439
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,428
- Oh, I have to.
440
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,064
- I think you should.
441
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,199
- Check this out.
See da Vinci over there?
442
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,068
Yeah, he just invited me
to check out
443
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,435
this crazy new invention
444
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,138
that he's never even tried
called "a fork."
445
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,174
- We shouldn't be
too hard on this place.
446
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,608
- No.
I mean, after all,
447
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,710
there is a table
of scientists right over there.
448
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,613
Really?
- Yeah.
449
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,515
- Ugh! They're brilliant.
450
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,684
- Booyah! These shots are
not gonna drink themselves.
451
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,388
- Hey, you wanna get
outta here
452
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,356
before the dumb
rubs off on us?
453
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,493
- Uh, uh...
454
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,628
- I think they're just
having fun.
455
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,630
And, uh, actually,
456
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,165
they're friends of mine.
457
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,201
- Right!
My friend is here too.
458
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,668
Right over there.
She's the lady
459
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,537
that brought her newborn
to the bar.
460
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,106
Busties!
461
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,840
- Yeah, first of all,
you really know
462
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,609
how to run a joke
into the ground.
463
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,644
Secondly, I wasn't kidding.
464
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,379
They really are friends
of mine.
465
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,348
You know what? No.
I'm gonna keep this open.
466
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,350
Can I get three blue
pucker shots, please?
467
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,386
Uh, actually...
make it four.
468
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,521
Also...
469
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,856
Baltimore--
It's a third-rate city.
470
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,660
It sucks. And you have dead
women buried in your parks.
471
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,730
*
472
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,665
Ladies, some shots.
- Hey!
473
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,834
- It looks like you were
making it happen with that one.
474
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,402
What'd you mess up
this time?
475
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,271
But it looked
like you guys
476
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,140
were having more fun over here,
so I figured I join you
477
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,241
and stay.
- Okay!
478
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,276
- All right!
- Hey, hey!
479
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:57,810
- Mm.
- Yeah!
480
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,746
Tornado Dance!
481
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,414
- Yeah...
- Uh...
482
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,116
excuse you?
483
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,417
Yeah?
- No, no, no, no, no.
484
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,419
- Sorry. Sorry,
that's on us.
485
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,121
- It's not worth it, girl,
it's not worth it.
486
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,423
Walk away.
487
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:12,692
.
488
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,765
*
489
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,201
- Oops. It looks like there's
a little lighting issue.
490
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,636
There's a shadow.
You want me to fix that?
491
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,438
- Yeah, sure, Helen.
Why don't you just
492
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,341
take over the whole production?
- I can't take this anymore!
493
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,909
What is this about, Ralph?
494
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,313
- Dennis, a moment.
495
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,248
You really don't know
what this is about, do you?
496
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,716
Morning announcements
were my chance
497
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,385
to be the cool guy,
498
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,586
to connect with the students,
499
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,887
and you took them
from me!
500
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,190
- Oh, Ralph, why would I
ever do anything
501
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,524
to hurt you?
502
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,559
You pulled me up
from the gutter.
503
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,195
You're an amazing man.
504
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,197
I would never take
the announcements from you.
505
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,865
Well, it's too late.
I'm awake now, Helen.
506
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,567
I thought I had
this game cornered,
507
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:55,902
then you came in
and did it in a way
508
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,870
that I didn't know
what possible!
509
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,739
I'm a fraud.
- No.
510
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,809
- You should do them!
- Oh! I should do them.
511
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:06,413
Ha! You think
that's what people want?
512
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:10,450
Me runnin' around
like a big, dumb goof?
513
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,853
I do that crap
for my nephew, and he's five.
514
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,155
Forever, if you know
what I mean.
515
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,326
- Holy crap.
Is that thing on?
516
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,360
- Oh--
517
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,765
- I don't understand
what they see in you.
518
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,540
- Well...this is fun!
519
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,242
Who, uh, who started
all this?
520
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,609
- You!
521
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,411
Well, this is already
awesome.
522
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,912
Explain.
- When you revealed
523
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,581
that Victor liked Grace,
we also found out
524
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,483
she had a secret
boyfriend, Marcus.
525
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,684
But she was actually protecting
526
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,286
her real secret boyfriend,
Devin,
527
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,688
not realizing Marcus
is secretly dating Sarika,
528
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:49,989
who got super-jealous.
529
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,259
So Sarika decided
to revenge-date Devin.
530
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,861
But Devin is fluid,
so he may actually like me.
531
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,763
And unrelatedly,
Colin lost his retainer
532
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,365
and is afraid to tell his mom,
533
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,767
and no one is talking to
anyone, a-and we're drowning!
534
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,935
Colin, you need to
just tell your mom.
535
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,272
- Okay, hey, guys, guys, guys.
536
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,840
Wow! You are being
far too dramatic.
537
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,877
I mean, don't you realize
how meaningless
538
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,545
these little teenage
crushes are?
539
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:15,715
Come on, only adult romances
actually mean anything.
540
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,384
Look, the point is,
you should
541
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,352
all just be focused
on your friendships.
542
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,322
Don't worry about all this
petty dating stuff.
543
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,291
Okay? You should all be
downing shots together
544
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,960
and doing dances based on
natural disasters, you know?
545
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:30,297
Leave all this other crap
behind, you know?
546
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,700
Otherwise, you're just gonna be
stuck in Toledo goin' it alone.
547
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,636
Look, you're gonna have
your whole lives
548
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,738
to worry about dating,
'kay?
549
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,039
Right now, honestly,
you should probably
550
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,509
just be focused
on masturbating.
551
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,444
You guys all masturbate,
right?
552
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,845
Yeah?
553
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,280
Show of hands real quick.
554
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,850
- Oh, no...
555
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,854
- Yeah, that's tough.
That's tough.
556
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,029
- I noticed
you weren't entangled
557
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,632
in any of the love
triangles.
558
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,033
You prefer to stay
above the fray.
559
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,303
- I don't mess with
this kid stuff.
560
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,739
I'm looking for
a real woman.
561
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,012
.
40064
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