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1
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,980
What are you doing
sitting on my steps?
2
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:53,400
I'm thinking.
3
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,700
Thinking? About what?
4
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,460
About things.
5
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:01,660
About what things?
6
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:04,140
Well, there's thee for a start.
7
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:10,880
Coming here sitting on my steps
thinking about me! Go and sit on your own steps.
8
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,480
It don't work down there.
Why are my steps any different?
9
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:20,200
Because they're your steps.
They're full of Eastern promise.
10
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,500
A brush is the only promise
you'll get round here!
11
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:30,900
Look, it's not easy.
With my trousers, I'm not built for sitting on stone steps.
12
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:33,100
Then why do you do it?
13
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,900
Because when I'm sitting here,
14
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,480
I can hear voices.
15
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,700
Good morning.
Would you like to be saved?
16
00:01:55,700 --> 00:02:01,600
What I'd like first is something
to happen worth saving me from!
17
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,960
Morning, sir.
Would you like to be saved?
18
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,980
Keep your voice down.
It's all a lie.
19
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:33,360
Who told you anyway?
I was just teaching the lady the rudiments of botany.
20
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,500
How do you mean - if you sit
on my steps you can hear voices?
21
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:44,220
I don't know, it's very mysterious.
22
00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:47,520
Whenever I sit on YOUR steps,
23
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,140
I hear voices.
24
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:52,580
What kind of voices?
25
00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:55,240
Oh, come and listen for thaself.
26
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,820
You mean anyone can hear 'em?
I don't see why not.
27
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,800
Here, that stone's still warm.
28
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:13,100
I can't hear anything! Hang on,
tha's hardly been here a minute.
29
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,800
You're pulling my leg again!
30
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,100
With them wrinkled stockings,
I could unscrew it!
31
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,720
Hush, hush, hush!
32
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,880
Oh, get off you cheeky devil!
33
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,260
You're having me on again!
34
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:33,680
There you are.
I told thee I heard voices.
35
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,800
You know how it is when you're...
young and stupid.
36
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:55,220
It's like being old and stupid,
but you get stupid much quicker.
37
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:03,000
Well, all I'm saying is that in
those days I never used to be bored.
38
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,700
And then I woke up one morning
and there I was -
39
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,060
bored!
40
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:13,160
When was this? 1939.
41
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,780
But you can't have been bored
since 1939!
42
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,980
Oh, yes I can.
43
00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:23,520
You can make it a way of life.
44
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:28,320
It's the Yorkshire equivalent of
oriental pathways to self-knowledge.
45
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,620
1939? That was the year
the war broke out.
46
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:35,040
Yes, I noticed that.
47
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:39,720
I thought, fair enough,
they're doing their best for me,
48
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,080
but I was still bored.
49
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,340
Huh! When I wasn't scared to death.
DOORBELL
50
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:49,420
If that's Howard, I'm not at home.
51
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,360
It's that religious group.
52
00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:00,660
You go. You're a trained killer.
You need saving more than me.
53
00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:04,800
I resent that!
I never missed a church parade.
54
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:09,000
If I go, I'll end up
with armfuls of pamphlets.
55
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,380
Are they free?
No, they're not free. Oh.
56
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,860
Well, they'll not be selling me
any pamphlets.
57
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,280
Hei-ho-ho-ha!
58
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,960
I've got some pamphlets on bayonet
fighting if you're interested.
59
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:48,480
Bayonet fighting?! All tha's ever
done with a bayonet is polish it!
60
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:53,440
It was to get the blood off it.
Tha faints when tha sees blood!
61
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:57,560
Only my own.
I don't faint at the enemy's. Oh!
62
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:02,480
You're not supposed to spill
your own. That's the whole idea!
63
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:21,900
How can these young missionaries
go round telling people how to live their lives?
64
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:28,420
I mean, they don't have ANY idea
how to defend themselves against a ruthless enemy.
65
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,980
Oh, just like thee.
66
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:33,440
I shall ignore that.
67
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:38,080
Well, they've got a damn good idea
how to sell pamphlets.
68
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:42,940
That's how they deal with ruthless
enemies - they sell 'em pamphlets.
69
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:46,700
They'd have been no good
in the jungle!
70
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,980
Oh, just like thee!
71
00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:51,560
I shall ignore that, too.
72
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,000
Hey up!
73
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,460
Now what?
74
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,680
Did tha see that? What?
75
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,200
A giant, fat lady
came floating up into the air
76
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,720
and then
simply floated down again!
77
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,980
He's gone. He's completely gone.
78
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,720
Yeah.
79
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:29,380
Well, she would, wouldn't she? It's
what you'd expect fat ladies to do.
80
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:31,700
Pop up everywhere(!)
81
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:37,720
He don't believe me. I believe.
She's worked one miracle already -
82
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,080
Foggy bought a round
without arguing.
83
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,500
The man needed a drink.
He's under stress.
84
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:51,080
I know when I see things
and when I don't. My one flaw is I'm mad about Nora Batty.
85
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:56,060
A big enough flaw for anyone. What
did she look like, this "vision"?
86
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,740
She were ugly, Norm.
87
00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:01,760
Horrible. Frightening.
88
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,840
Probably an ex-girlfriend of yours.
89
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,360
She were bigger than that -
a giant.
90
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:13,080
Yeah, but so was that fearsome bird
you used to knock about with.
91
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,200
Who were that?
92
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:19,840
Well, the one who was a bouncer.
93
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,780
She weren't a bouncer!
She were an assistant manager.
94
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:29,560
Well, she used to throw people out.
That were only part of her job.
95
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:34,580
She used to take the money to the
bank and she weren't robbed once!
96
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:41,340
A responsible position like that
and here she is - popping up all over the place.
97
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:45,160
It wasn't her.
It were bigger than her!
98
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,800
There she is!
99
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,720
I think he's finally cracked.
100
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:03,880
Nobody can live
in trousers like that without the tension getting to them.
101
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,420
She were there.
She passed the window.
102
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:18,080
We understand. Don't upset yourself.
103
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,400
I'm telling you, she were there.
I saw her!
104
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:25,300
You've been working too hard.
105
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:28,060
Oh, I wouldn't go as far as that!
106
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:30,560
She is definitely here!
107
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,760
It's been a long time,
108
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,240
but I'm pretty certain
that is not a fat lady.
109
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,900
What's the bar food like here, lads?
Rubbish.
110
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:44,320
Nourishing, but nothing fancy.
111
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,760
Rubbish is closer.
112
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:52,080
They don't use microwaves, do they?
They're all using microwaves.
113
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:57,040
There's all this global warming,
and still they're using microwaves.
114
00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,900
It's in the air. You can't get shut
of it. What are you doing about it?
115
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:05,780
Don't look at me.
I don't use a microwave.
116
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:08,540
I still haven't passed toaster.
117
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:12,840
Good man. I wish there were
more like you. Thank you!
118
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,140
Has tha seen a fat lady? Fat lady?
119
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:20,540
Don't torture me with fat ladies!
120
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,860
I bet you wished you hadn't
asked that. Oh, I do, Norm.
121
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,400
You were perfectly safe, you know.
122
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,120
Oh, yes. Ah, yes.
I was watching every move.
123
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,860
Aye, just watching.
124
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,760
Tha didn't do anything.
125
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:45,260
I could have sworn I saw a big,
fat lady floating up in the sky.
126
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:51,680
You've nothing to worry about.
It's probably a small deficiency in your diet.
127
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:56,700
Hallucinations are quite common at
your age. And you soon make friends.
128
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,520
There he was - a total stranger...
129
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,500
and within seconds
he's grasping you by the throat!
130
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:12,360
HORN TOOTS
131
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,140
They do. They use microwaves!
132
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,160
Yeah, but...
133
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,420
Phrrrrht!
134
00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:59,096
Mother, you're in the wrong car!
135
00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:04,976
Well, there's no need to shout.
It could happen to anybody.
136
00:12:09,236 --> 00:12:14,776
Mother, don't you think you ought
to change those glasses? That'll do.
137
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:20,976
These glasses are all right.
There's a lot of wear left in these glasses.
138
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:36,916
Until you've been in the jungle,
you don't know what wildlife is!
139
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:42,036
You think so? Have you ever been
in that pub down Spansyke Street?
140
00:12:42,036 --> 00:12:47,156
I mean places where the insects
are bigger than our animals here.
141
00:12:47,156 --> 00:12:51,016
Well, that's it.
That pub down Spansyke Street!
142
00:12:51,016 --> 00:12:55,716
Give over! I've seen thee hopping
about at the sight of a spider.
143
00:12:55,716 --> 00:12:58,676
Yeah, small spiders, yes.
144
00:12:58,676 --> 00:13:03,536
You see, I'm...I'm used to big
spiders, the size of a dinner plate.
145
00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:10,616
There's one thing you can rely on -
I have strong nerves when it comes to dangerous animals.
146
00:13:11,676 --> 00:13:13,656
Phrrrrht!
147
00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:18,316
What was that?!
148
00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:22,976
Mother! Be quiet. Mother! Be quiet.
But...but, Mother!
149
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:29,656
Stop criticising the way
I drive - I don't criticise you for being a passenger.
150
00:13:31,756 --> 00:13:38,296
Every time I drive,
you complain about it. You need new glasses! That'll do!
151
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,616
Phrrrrht!
152
00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:49,636
It's him from the pub!
153
00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:52,496
It's Mr Microwave!
154
00:13:52,496 --> 00:13:56,456
There's absolutely nothing
to be nervous about.
155
00:14:15,196 --> 00:14:18,496
I told thee - a giant, fat lady!
156
00:14:21,936 --> 00:14:24,776
Damn thing! Leaky damn thing!
157
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:29,176
Don't know why she does this to me.
I've always liked fat ladies!
158
00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:34,216
How do, lads?
159
00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:40,236
She's leaking.
Hope she didn't startle you.
160
00:14:40,236 --> 00:14:44,316
Er...how long have you been
playing with balloons?
161
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:49,376
Playing with balloons? Who is this
person? Watch tha throat, Norm. Yes.
162
00:14:49,376 --> 00:14:55,956
Let me rephrase that.
How long have you had an interest in big, rubber, fat ladies?
163
00:14:55,956 --> 00:15:00,436
I think I'd better rephrase that
as well. He means balloons.
164
00:15:00,436 --> 00:15:04,296
This isn't just a balloon!
This is serious!
165
00:15:04,296 --> 00:15:10,756
It'll be serious when tha wife
finds out tha's going out with big, fat ladies!
166
00:15:10,756 --> 00:15:13,736
She used to be a big, fat lady.
167
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:16,776
I loved her being a big, fat lady.
168
00:15:16,776 --> 00:15:19,956
Well, maybe not...loved her,
169
00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:23,456
but I was used to her being
a big, fat lady.
170
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,976
She was a serious presence in bed.
171
00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:29,696
Now she's like a rail.
172
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,736
Like being married to a pickle fork!
173
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:41,436
When are we going to stop
for a rest, Howard? Soon, love.
174
00:15:41,436 --> 00:15:45,856
We've come a long way.
Because it's safer way out here.
175
00:15:45,856 --> 00:15:48,316
Nobody knows us way out here.
176
00:15:56,836 --> 00:16:02,016
I know I've brought you a long way,
love. You're so forceful, Howard.
177
00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:04,116
Well...
178
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:08,296
a man has to do
what a man has to do.
179
00:16:08,296 --> 00:16:10,776
Oh, Howard!
180
00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:13,516
Oh, Marina!
181
00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:17,956
I just want you
to put yourself in my hands.
182
00:16:17,956 --> 00:16:21,636
It's not easy
when you're holding a bicycle.
183
00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:25,676
I just want you
to leave the planning to me.
184
00:16:25,676 --> 00:16:29,716
I'll always find us places
where we can be together...
185
00:16:29,716 --> 00:16:33,216
unnoticed.
A CAR APPROACHES
186
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:48,476
There's still a leak.
187
00:16:53,916 --> 00:16:58,356
Where was it leaking before?
I've fixed that one! Oh.
188
00:16:58,356 --> 00:17:01,876
What are you two doing?
Now, come on!
189
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:05,316
Help the man. Don't just sit there.
Find the leak.
190
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:10,576
Suppose it blows up? It won't blow
up! Nora Batty often blows up.
191
00:17:10,576 --> 00:17:17,156
You never think,
when you get up in the morning, that by the end of the day,
192
00:17:17,156 --> 00:17:21,656
you're going to be this close
to a big, rubber, fat lady.
193
00:17:21,656 --> 00:17:24,096
DOLL: Phssssht!
194
00:17:24,096 --> 00:17:26,576
It's...it's here. I've found it!
195
00:17:26,576 --> 00:17:29,396
Keep your finger on it.
196
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:33,456
Ah, that's it. There we are then.
Ah, she's ready!
197
00:17:33,456 --> 00:17:35,796
Ready for what?
198
00:17:35,796 --> 00:17:39,276
A gesture.
I'm going to make a gesture.
199
00:17:39,276 --> 00:17:42,576
Well, he does that
without a balloon!
200
00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:48,076
A serious political gesture.
201
00:17:48,076 --> 00:17:52,636
And you need a balloon?
You have to catch people's attention.
202
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:57,756
By the throat? No! That's how tha
caught mine! I was under stress.
203
00:17:57,756 --> 00:18:01,496
It's the burden, you know.
The responsibility.
204
00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:07,896
I know you're asking, "Why me?",
but somebody's got to do it. Calm down. Do what?
205
00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:10,256
Save the world.
206
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,416
Oh, that!
207
00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:15,316
I thought we'd done that.
208
00:18:15,316 --> 00:18:17,176
We?
209
00:18:17,176 --> 00:18:22,176
Huh! I don't remember seeing you
where the fighting was thickest.
210
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:26,176
There you go again.
That pub in Spansyke Street!
211
00:18:27,256 --> 00:18:31,456
Somebody's got to start!
Saving the world from what?
212
00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:34,536
Thin people! Slimming! Health foods!
213
00:18:34,536 --> 00:18:38,916
Help, help! Get him off!
Get him off! Help, get him off!
214
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:50,396
I don't know what all the fuss was
about. You never will until you get some new glasses. These are fine.
215
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:55,916
Your eyes have changed.
This is the pair I've always had!
216
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:59,556
Did you see who it was
at that level crossing?
217
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:03,236
I never even saw
the level crossing!
218
00:19:03,236 --> 00:19:05,016
Nor me.
219
00:19:05,016 --> 00:19:08,016
I had me eyes firmly shut!
220
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,656
Just like the driver!
221
00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:14,736
It's all right for you lot,
sitting enjoying it.
222
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,116
You forget how much a driver
has to think about.
223
00:19:20,116 --> 00:19:24,576
I keep telling Wesley there's
too many knobs and switches.
224
00:19:24,576 --> 00:19:27,436
And he keeps adding more!
225
00:19:27,436 --> 00:19:33,316
He doesn't add more! You keep
forgetting you used things before.
226
00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:37,876
Oh, I'm not just losing me eyesight.
I'm losing me memory, am I?
227
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:43,156
I'm not losing MY memory. I saw
who it was at that level crossing!
228
00:19:52,596 --> 00:19:57,396
If we go much further like this,
I'M going to make a gesture.
229
00:19:57,396 --> 00:20:01,736
There isn't enough room
for gestures!
230
00:20:01,736 --> 00:20:04,716
Pull into the next pub.
231
00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:09,576
What for? Well, you need to write
your message. We'll help you.
232
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,916
HORN BLARES
233
00:20:19,436 --> 00:20:23,036
I've got to get the message
through to people.
234
00:20:23,036 --> 00:20:29,076
Well, it'll have to be a short one.
You can't hang much under a balloon.
235
00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:34,716
You try to save the world
and there's always a flaming snag!
236
00:20:39,456 --> 00:20:39,496
Explain it to me. What exactly is
it you want to say in this message?
237
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:44,556
I want to warn people
238
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:49,556
against the perils of being thin.
239
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,196
Such as? Elbows.
240
00:20:53,196 --> 00:20:57,736
Have you ever been struck
by a thin person's elbows?
241
00:20:57,736 --> 00:21:00,496
Ooh, I could show you the bruises!
242
00:21:00,496 --> 00:21:02,956
The wife's lethal in bed.
243
00:21:02,956 --> 00:21:06,296
It's like sleeping
with a can opener!
244
00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:09,136
I must say, I prefer cuddly.
245
00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,496
Nora Batty is cuddly?
246
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:13,736
But of course!
247
00:21:13,736 --> 00:21:16,296
I thought everybody knew that!
248
00:21:16,296 --> 00:21:19,056
I think he's right about elbows.
249
00:21:19,056 --> 00:21:25,956
If everybody was thin,
there would be terrific injuries in post office queues.
250
00:21:25,956 --> 00:21:29,576
And slimming does awful things
to people.
251
00:21:29,576 --> 00:21:32,696
Changes their whole personality.
252
00:21:32,696 --> 00:21:35,716
The wife used to like a giggle.
253
00:21:35,716 --> 00:21:39,256
Now she daren't laugh
in case it's fattening.
254
00:21:47,736 --> 00:21:52,216
You'll need a rehearsal
before you go into town.
255
00:22:00,316 --> 00:22:03,876
What happens
if the world springs a leak?
256
00:22:03,876 --> 00:22:07,376
You think the world
might spring a leak?
257
00:22:07,376 --> 00:22:10,336
Well, it floats in space.
258
00:22:10,336 --> 00:22:13,396
So it must be like a balloon.
259
00:22:13,396 --> 00:22:18,256
Well, if it springs a leak, you'll
hear these terrible, rude noises,
260
00:22:18,256 --> 00:22:21,276
you'll go out of your orbit
261
00:22:21,276 --> 00:22:25,896
and skid all over the universe
getting flatter all the time.
262
00:22:25,896 --> 00:22:28,516
I wish I'd never asked!
263
00:22:28,516 --> 00:22:33,156
Does tha think if there's a God,
he'll carry a pump?
264
00:22:46,456 --> 00:22:49,056
Nobody? This is it.
265
00:22:49,056 --> 00:22:55,516
This is the place. This is
what we've been looking for - tranquillity, peace.
266
00:22:55,516 --> 00:22:58,056
Privacy.
267
00:22:58,056 --> 00:23:04,556
"And what do we want
all that for, Howard?", says she with her heart racing.
268
00:23:04,556 --> 00:23:08,976
Look, I've only been waiting
until we found the right place.
269
00:23:08,976 --> 00:23:11,636
Waiting for what, Howard?
270
00:23:11,636 --> 00:23:17,616
There's something I've
always wanted us to try together.
271
00:23:17,616 --> 00:23:20,096
Oh, Howard!
272
00:23:20,096 --> 00:23:23,136
What is it? What is it?
273
00:23:23,136 --> 00:23:25,676
Show me, Howard.
274
00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:35,296
I've always wanted us...
to try the tango.
275
00:23:35,296 --> 00:23:37,756
TANGO MUSIC
276
00:24:13,876 --> 00:24:18,896
Don't scratch it. It could be worth
twice what I've just paid for it.
277
00:24:18,896 --> 00:24:21,316
Twice? You're slipping.
278
00:24:21,316 --> 00:24:25,896
It's usually three times.
Less of your flattery!
279
00:24:25,896 --> 00:24:28,476
Oh, oh, it's too heavy.
280
00:24:28,476 --> 00:24:31,916
Oh, don't think heavy,
think valuable.
281
00:24:31,916 --> 00:24:37,816
Just think - every time you scratch
it, that's a pound off your wages.
282
00:24:37,816 --> 00:24:39,936
What wages?
283
00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:42,776
I'm speaking figuratively.
284
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:51,296
Now, have you got it safely?
It's all right. It's perfectly safe.
285
00:24:51,296 --> 00:24:53,956
I'm...I'm too tall for heavy.
286
00:24:53,956 --> 00:24:58,416
Tall's not for lifting.
Tall's for elegant and suave.
287
00:24:58,416 --> 00:25:01,256
You get attached to things.
288
00:25:01,256 --> 00:25:08,596
Just remember that when you get
to my age you get very sentimental about damaging your profit margins.
289
00:25:08,596 --> 00:25:13,336
- I'd hate you to drop it.
- Nobody's going to drop it.
290
00:25:13,336 --> 00:25:16,496
Why should we drop it?
291
00:25:30,256 --> 00:25:33,116
Right...on my signal.
292
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:38,276
How come it's his signal? It's my
balloon, how come it's his signal?!
293
00:25:38,276 --> 00:25:42,896
Well, we find it easier not to ask.
Tha'll get used to it.
294
00:25:42,896 --> 00:25:45,756
Now, will you pay attention here?!
295
00:25:45,756 --> 00:25:51,116
When I drop my arm, I want you to
raise the balloon, gently...GENTLY.
296
00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:55,876
How long's he been like this?
He used to be a Nazi.
297
00:25:55,876 --> 00:26:00,476
Until he was thrown out
for excessive force.
298
00:26:03,376 --> 00:26:06,256
Right, prepare to raise balloon.
299
00:26:06,256 --> 00:26:08,556
On my signal...
300
00:26:08,556 --> 00:26:11,716
One...two...three...
301
00:26:32,736 --> 00:26:35,956
Oh, Howard! Oh, Marina!
302
00:26:35,956 --> 00:26:41,336
You do a lovely tango, Howard. It's
because I'm relaxed. We're all alone.
303
00:26:41,336 --> 00:26:44,196
There's nobody watching...
304
00:26:59,056 --> 00:27:00,616
Phrrrrht!
305
00:27:00,616 --> 00:27:04,916
Phrrrrht!
306
00:27:07,356 --> 00:27:13,036
Well, a right boghole you made of
that! You let it go. It just went!
307
00:27:13,036 --> 00:27:17,056
I've never been good
with fat ladies!
308
00:27:17,056 --> 00:27:20,076
Phrrrrht!
309
00:27:29,456 --> 00:27:33,896
You were right. I did need
new glasses. These are much better.
310
00:27:33,896 --> 00:27:36,936
You're certainly driving better.
311
00:27:36,936 --> 00:27:39,256
ALL: Aagh!
312
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,696
CRASH!
313
00:28:04,336 --> 00:28:07,336
Can we have our balloon back?
314
00:28:52,536 --> 00:28:56,756
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2006
315
00:28:56,806 --> 00:29:01,356
Repair and Synchronization by
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