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1
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,820
Keep away!
2
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:50,340
Nora, lass, a proposition. No!
I've heard your propositions!
3
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:53,280
An honest proposition...
4
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:59,300
Make me a pie
and I'll not chase thee for a week.
5
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,840
TWO weeks?
6
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:07,840
How big's the pie?
7
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:14,760
About so big.
For two weeks!? Forget it!
8
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,240
Ah-hargh!
9
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,060
Cleggy.
10
00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:28,620
CLEGGY !
11
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,420
Up here, Cleggy!
12
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,160
Funny. We usually have starlings.
13
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,840
Could I have a word?
14
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,760
Not up there!
What are you doing up there!?
15
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,560
If anyone asks,
I'm inspecting this chimney.
16
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:58,120
You've got Marina
in that chimney!
17
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:05,860
Keep your voice down!
Don't be stupid! ..I'd never get her in.
18
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:15,500
I've been waiting
to speak to you privately, out of reach of you-know-who.
19
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:25,440
Just occasionally -
say on Wednesday afternoons - would you rent your front room?
20
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,820
Speak up.
21
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:36,760
I daren't speak up!
I wondered if, just occasionally, you'd like to rent your front room?
22
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:43,480
Sorry, Howard.
It sounds like you're asking if I'd rent my front room!
23
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,960
Oh...!
24
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,760
What's he doing up there?
25
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,020
AIE-IEA-IEA-IEARGH...!
26
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:57,660
Oh, I see what he's doing -
he's falling off.
27
00:02:57,660 --> 00:03:03,420
Do you think he'll be all right?
Married to Pearl !? Tha's joking!
28
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:17,620
INAUDIBLE
29
00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:02,040
Your clothes aren't ready!
Keep 'em! They're covered in blood!
30
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:26,920
What have you been doing now!?
Nothing, love...
31
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,560
How did you get
in that condition?!
32
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:38,280
I was blown off a roof.
Oh, blown off a roof...
33
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:45,660
A likely story! I don't know where
you get these daft excuses from!
34
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:53,280
Telling me rubbish
and expecting me to swallow it! Blown off a roof (!) Get inside!
35
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:12,860
How did he come
to fall off the roof anyway?
36
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:17,980
He was holding his jacket open
and the wind blew him off.
37
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:23,140
The forces of nature.
Wind. I've seen it uproot trees.
38
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:27,680
There's a cat next door
does its best.
39
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:34,920
There's not enough use made of it.
I always think the same thing about Nora Batty.
40
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:40,000
What could you possibly use
a Nora Batty for?
41
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:45,300
I don't mean as anything useful.
I mean as an ornament.
42
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,940
Oh, as an ornament (?)
43
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,600
Ah, Wesley.
44
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:10,060
What's the matter with people?
Falling off roofs and hammering their thumbs!
45
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:15,200
You great demented dollop,
sneaking up on people like that!
46
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:20,340
It's the training. I can't help it
if I move like a phantom.
47
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:25,980
Why don't you bog off!
That's welcoming, isn't it (?)
48
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:33,480
It's going to go black!
Well, it'll match your overalls. You'll be colour-co-ordinated.
49
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:38,460
I was fine! I was doing fine!
What do you want?
50
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:44,680
Well, we are looking to exploit
the forces of nature, Wesley.
51
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:48,000
I must get a new pair of braces.
52
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:52,160
I've never worn braces.
53
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,360
You sometimes hardly wear trousers!
54
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:03,800
I'd like a second technical opinion
on this little beauty.
55
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:09,000
Whose was the first technical
opinion? Mine. I was afraid of that.
56
00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:16,640
You'll need bigger wheels.
Pram wheels are no good.
57
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:22,180
Bigger wheels. Try bicycle wheels.
Funny you should say that.
58
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:27,160
I've been toying with the idea
of bicycle wheels.
59
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:37,800
If anyone has bicycle wheels,
it's Auntie Wainwright. She'll sell me something!
60
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:43,140
We'll all club together
and buy some bicycle wheels...
61
00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:48,020
Well, TWO of us will club together.
62
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:55,740
Good thinking. Now and then,
tha comes up with a flash of real nous.
63
00:07:55,740 --> 00:08:03,100
Well, I'm not going in.
You never know what you're going to come out with.
64
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:09,180
You've really got
to get over this phobia.
65
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:13,800
I can't AFFORD
to get over this phobia!
66
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:21,540
HOW DO, MARINA ?
67
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,700
SHOP BELL RINGS
Don't move!
68
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:36,780
These premises are covered by spy
satellite. Spy satellite!? Rubbish!
69
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:42,100
There's only her with her eagle eye.
That's all you need!
70
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:46,180
I'll do the talking.
And the buying!
71
00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:51,800
I have to be careful. People take
advantage of an old woman.
72
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:56,420
It's hard on your own. It is, love.
73
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:03,540
Mind you, sometimes it's better
than being paired off. Right...
74
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:09,800
You've heard, haven't you?
Heard what? Oh, you can't fool me.
75
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:15,320
About the great bargains I have
in ladies' foundation garments.
76
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,840
What would WE want with them!?
77
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:23,700
You'll snap them up for resale!
Bicycle wheels!
78
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:27,100
There's no need for that attitude!
79
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:34,280
No, that's what we're looking for -
bicycle wheels. CHEAP bicycle wheels.
80
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,300
There he goes, taking advantage!
81
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:43,380
Must it be bicycle wheels? Any fool
can buy them. Not at your prices!
82
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:49,580
You want something more impressive.
Impressive? Careful, Foggy!
83
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:53,800
YOU'RE a man of vision.
That's true.
84
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:59,080
She's got thee, Foggy!
There's no harm in looking.
85
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,040
It's round the back. Follow me.
86
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:07,060
Keep your hands in your pockets.
Remember our motto:
87
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:10,020
"Death to all shoplifters."
88
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,360
"No...harm...in looking," he says!
89
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:25,760
It's no good blaming me.
We all bought it together.
90
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:32,900
Aye...but tha's the big dillup...
who said...there's no harm... in looking...
91
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:48,000
Don't let it get away.
92
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:52,920
Not likely!
Not at Auntie Wainwright's prices!
93
00:10:55,020 --> 00:11:00,220
I think we got a bargain,
for a wheel this size.
94
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:05,140
It's a good job she didn't have
anything bigger!
95
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:21,260
What are you doing with that!?
96
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:25,280
Badly! We bought it at Auntie's.
97
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,820
Why would anybody
buy one of them things!?
98
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:34,120
You should see what Clegg bought!
99
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,980
Don't tell everybody!
100
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:42,760
What did he buy?
A LADIES' FOUNDATION GARMENT.
101
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:48,600
Only a small one! It was a bargain.
Well, she SAID it was a bargain.
102
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:54,260
PEEP!
103
00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:01,361
I caught him only this morning.
104
00:12:01,361 --> 00:12:07,961
Looking terrible, walking all weird.
A crick in his back!
105
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:14,081
Sounds to me
like he's been fooling about.
106
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:18,981
They've been up to no good
if they've got cricks in their back.
107
00:12:18,981 --> 00:12:26,001
It's true.
It's amazing how few male back injuries can be attributed to work.
108
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:32,081
Barry gets twinges in his back.
I have to rub him with Fiery Jack.
109
00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:38,341
Do you mind! You weren't brought up
to rub people with Fiery Jack!
110
00:12:39,601 --> 00:12:45,461
Oh, Mother!
Even if he does work in a building society!
111
00:12:45,461 --> 00:12:49,741
What WAS wrong with Howard's back?
112
00:12:49,741 --> 00:12:57,701
I can only tell you what he SAID
was wrong with it. He said... he'd been blown off a roof!
113
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:06,401
I don't know
where they get these excuses from!
114
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:11,281
It's their one saving grace -
they're not very good at lying.
115
00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:14,881
It's not for want of practice.
116
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,761
I don't think my Barry tells lies.
117
00:13:21,081 --> 00:13:27,781
Well, I don't! You make out men
are all weird. They're not ALL weird.
118
00:13:41,481 --> 00:13:49,221
What do I do with THAT !?
Tell him, Norm. I made enough suggestions coming here.
119
00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:52,041
Putting it down would be a start.
120
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:57,461
There must be dozens of things.
I mean, look at it.
121
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:02,681
You went for bicycle wheels!
How come you finished up with this!?
122
00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:10,481
It was Auntie Wainwright's bargain
of the week. Auntie Wainwright's!? You deserve all you got!
123
00:14:10,481 --> 00:14:13,541
It was an absolute snip. Huh (!)
124
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:20,421
How long have we to hold this!?
There's TWO of you!
125
00:14:20,421 --> 00:14:27,121
Good grief! In Burma, I held up
a Japanese battalion for a week!
126
00:14:32,961 --> 00:14:38,381
Y-e-s, that ought to do it.
It's ridiculous!
127
00:14:38,381 --> 00:14:43,821
It's conserving the world's energy.
What about MY energy!?
128
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:49,401
It's worth a try.
We ought to do something with it.
129
00:14:49,401 --> 00:14:51,821
CRASH !
130
00:14:58,221 --> 00:15:00,961
Gone! Typical !
131
00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:06,341
You turn your back
and they've gone!
132
00:15:06,341 --> 00:15:11,801
It's terribly difficult finding
the right kind of help these days.
133
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:18,761
Will somebody stop clacking
and get us out of here! I'll second that!
134
00:15:28,441 --> 00:15:31,501
What are you doing under there!?
135
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,681
He let go! I needed a scratch!
136
00:15:38,681 --> 00:15:43,721
I've heard of doing wheelies,
but this is ridiculous!
137
00:15:43,721 --> 00:15:46,761
Never mind, it's been worthwhile.
138
00:15:46,761 --> 00:15:54,901
Wesley's had an idea of how we can
make something out of this thing. It was just an IDEA !
139
00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:12,041
We've cracked it this time!
You'll have to speak up, Howard.
140
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:19,161
I said I think I've cracked it.
Two people carrying a ladder - what could be more innocent?
141
00:16:19,161 --> 00:16:22,701
I was just thinking the same, Howard!
142
00:16:22,701 --> 00:16:29,761
People will think we're working.
They'll never believe we're romantically involved.
143
00:16:29,761 --> 00:16:36,761
At THIS distance, Howard,
even I don't believe we're romantically involved!
144
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:48,141
A wheel on wheels! You wonder
why nobody thought of it before.
145
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:53,201
Right, let's see if we can
find somewhere to try her out.
146
00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:57,981
Or better still,
why don't we get a cup of tea?
147
00:16:57,981 --> 00:17:01,081
..Just a thought. I'm with HIM.
148
00:17:01,081 --> 00:17:03,741
Nobody asked you.
149
00:17:03,741 --> 00:17:08,921
Right, Wesley? All aboard.
We can't all get in the cab!
150
00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:14,001
You wouldn't have this problem
with a cup of tea. I'm with HI-IM !
151
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:19,041
All right, then...
The lucky one rides on the wheel.
152
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:33,121
Hang on...! You'll be all right.
It's quite safe. Rubber bumpers all round.
153
00:17:33,121 --> 00:17:36,281
So why the rush for the cab!?
154
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:41,401
We didn't want to deprive you
of the pleasure of the first ride.
155
00:17:41,401 --> 00:17:46,501
I certainly didn't want
to deprive you of that pleasure.
156
00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:49,521
I hope tha's sure. Of course I am.
157
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:54,661
Of course, HE's not riding it.
Be quiet! Don't upset him.
158
00:17:54,661 --> 00:18:02,181
Look, give it a try.
See what the seat is like for size. Make yourself comfy.
159
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:18,541
It's not bad.
160
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:25,201
There you are, no problem.
All right, Wesley, wagons roll.
161
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:06,021
WATCH IT !
162
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:33,841
What's he doing over there!?
I didn't give him permission to go!
163
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:59,821
It shot me right off me seat!
But if you're securely fastened in, it won't be able to throw you off.
164
00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:07,441
No, the reason
why it won't throw me off again is because I'm not going ON again!
165
00:20:07,441 --> 00:20:13,041
Nora Batty thought you were
incredibly... ..stupid. Brave!
166
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:18,501
She thought I were brave...?
What's MY part?
167
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,281
In you go, Biggles.
168
00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:35,081
Is it going to be safe, Foggy?
Of course! We'll be sitting in the Landrover.
169
00:20:35,081 --> 00:20:40,741
No, I meant is it safe for HIM ?
Oh, for HIM...
170
00:20:42,281 --> 00:20:49,381
Oh, yes. He's got more harnesses
than a fighter pilot, AND a steering wheel.
171
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:52,321
Wait till he gets his sail.
172
00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:56,941
HE could provide all the wind!
173
00:20:56,941 --> 00:21:02,021
Right, let's get this on you.
Watch it!
174
00:21:02,021 --> 00:21:07,021
You want to be secure, don't you?
Secure and still a baritone!
175
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,661
Why not use this? Special offer.
176
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:16,181
Bog off.
177
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:33,581
So THIS is the secret spot
you've been talking about!? Up on a roof!?
178
00:21:33,581 --> 00:21:40,661
It's something I learned today.
People never look up when you're on a roof.
179
00:21:40,661 --> 00:21:48,321
Nobody ever sees you
when you're up on a roof. You're practically invisible.
180
00:21:48,321 --> 00:21:53,841
So THIS is where we're going to meet
in future...on a roof?
181
00:21:53,841 --> 00:21:56,661
It's BRILLIANT, love.
182
00:22:06,361 --> 00:22:09,301
Can you fall out of that?
183
00:22:11,561 --> 00:22:18,021
You see - 100% guaranteed safety.
One hundred PER CENT !
184
00:22:18,021 --> 00:22:21,081
Certainly. He can't budge an inch.
185
00:22:21,081 --> 00:22:28,181
What happens when we start moving?
Heavens above! You're not still doubting!
186
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,901
Wesley, hook her up.
187
00:22:33,381 --> 00:22:38,701
Next time you go for bicycle wheels,
BRING bicycle wheels.
188
00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:44,861
You've no idea how hard I fought
not to buy TWO foundation garments.
189
00:22:46,061 --> 00:22:50,441
Now, was Foggy right
or was Foggy right?
190
00:22:50,441 --> 00:22:53,221
He'd fail his idiot's licence.
191
00:22:54,161 --> 00:23:01,201
I want you
to use your steering wheel and try and stay on the road.
192
00:24:07,841 --> 00:24:10,801
ARGHH ! HELP !
193
00:24:10,801 --> 00:24:16,601
And the other thing
is that it's such a lovely view.
194
00:24:16,601 --> 00:24:22,041
I'll give you that, Howard.
There's nothing wrong with the VIEW.
195
00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:29,841
We could often come up here.
Carrying our own ladder (?) That's right.
196
00:24:29,841 --> 00:24:32,761
Everything looking innocent...
197
00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:37,361
HELP ! Oh...!
198
00:24:37,361 --> 00:24:41,601
Ohhhhhh...! ARGHRGEARGH !
199
00:25:10,081 --> 00:25:12,261
HELP !!
200
00:25:49,641 --> 00:25:52,741
You prat...!
201
00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:57,701
Just wait till you get the mast
and the sail !
202
00:26:57,421 --> 00:27:02,841
Subtitles by Chas Donaldson
BBC 1992
203
00:27:02,891 --> 00:27:07,441
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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