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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,940
Is she watching?
2
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,860
She'll be watching.
3
00:00:07,860 --> 00:00:11,340
That's why net curtains
were invented.
4
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,940
If she asks, what are we
supposed to be looking for?
5
00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:16,720
Something female.
6
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,360
A lady's earring?
7
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,820
That should do it.
8
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:58,740
Shh!
9
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,360
Why have you been avoiding me,
Cleggy? You don't answer my calls.
10
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,280
How long have you been in there?
11
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,560
Have you got food and water?
12
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,200
Suppose I didn't come to the bin?
13
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,140
You always come at this time.
14
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:26,680
Are you telling me that I'm
a creature of habit?
15
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,780
You could set your clock by it.
16
00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:31,160
Well, there you go!
17
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:35,760
People say it's amazing
what you can learn from the contents of your wheelie bin.
18
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,020
Aargh!
19
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,320
I'm sorry I shouted at you, Travis.
20
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,960
Now come out.
21
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,260
You can sulk indoors!
22
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:18,600
Do come out, Travis, before the word
gets round that I keep you in a shed.
23
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,260
Travis...
24
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,960
The Crowcroft Challenge?
25
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,540
We thought we'd give it a whack.
26
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,460
When he says
"we", of course, he means HE thought he'd give it a whack.
27
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:33,800
He opened his big gob
in the pub last night.
28
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,700
I had a little drink taken.
29
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,280
You should have shut me up.
30
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,220
I know that now, but at the time
I was as mellow as you were.
31
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,900
The Crowcroft Challenge.
32
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:48,400
To go from Morton to
Thackley in a straight line...
33
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,960
as the crow flies...
34
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,980
over all obstacles.
35
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:54,420
Any proceeds to charity.
36
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:57,900
Often attempted but never
successfully completed
37
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:02,200
since Squire Crowcroft first
issued the challenge in 1827.
38
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,060
Must have been a good year
for idiots.
39
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:09,180
The general feeling is that one has
to be an idiot to even attempt it.
40
00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,960
You're in, Alvin. You've
got the qualifications.
41
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:19,340
The last person to attempt
it was a Mr Marsden.
42
00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:22,920
He collapsed with heat exhaustion
and was rushed to hospital.
43
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,620
Obviously a wimp! Should have stuck
to his needlework.
44
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:30,440
That sounds more you, needlework.
45
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,540
The secret's in the training.
46
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:35,800
They say the costume
is the real burden.
47
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,080
The Crowcroft Challenge!
48
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,900
I think it shows a wonderful spirit.
49
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:44,260
Not to mention lack of judgment.
50
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:45,820
Nobody's perfect.
51
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:53,600
MUSIC: "Sing A Song Of Sixpence"
52
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,760
He'll make a bog of it.
53
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:18,560
Well, yes, probably.
But I suggest we don't interfere.
54
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,880
Obviously the secret is
to pick the best route.
55
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,740
Fewest obstacles.
56
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:26,380
So you ARE determined to interfere?
57
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,040
It should be good for a laugh.
58
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,540
Not for him. No, not for him.
59
00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:32,620
But I don't see why
we shouldn't enjoy it.
60
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,640
I thought legs looked familiar.
It's Alvin.
61
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,620
Ain't nobody here but us crows.
62
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:05,740
Don't be shy. If you want to
dress up in feathers, I won't tell.
63
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,840
It's a challenge.
64
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,740
I can see where it would be.
65
00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:11,900
Especially on public transport.
66
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,900
You want lift?
I thought you'd never ask.
67
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,200
I bet he's got lost.
68
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,820
He has a map.
69
00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:28,520
Oh, well, that's it then.
Definitely lost.
70
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:33,600
He should never have been
allowed to wander off without being accompanied by an adult.
71
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,500
If only we knew one.
72
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:58,140
That is not something I would like
to see perched on my clothes line.
73
00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:07,600
I suppose you can't
grumble if it's for charity.
74
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,260
Since when have you not
been able to grumble?
75
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,880
I like to keep in practice.
76
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,520
Are you sure you need the practice?
77
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:26,460
Why did Squire Crowcroft
insist on this?
78
00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:32,420
Because, clearly, Squire Crowcroft
was a man of a humorous turn of mind
79
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,280
who should have been
strangled at birth.
80
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,180
Or even later!
81
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:40,780
Where's your map?
There's a pocket under the tail.
82
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,920
You're on your own then. I'm not
fishing about under there.
83
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:52,680
It's at times like this
you learn who your friends are.
84
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,200
KNOCK ON DOOR
85
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,940
Ah. Cleggy...
86
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,860
KNOCK ON DOOR,
DOORBELL RINGS
87
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,320
You've got your key.
Why are you standing there?
88
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,420
Am I standing here?
89
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:23,260
Yes, I suppose technically
I'm standing here.
90
00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:29,520
Come in. Before somebody thinks I'm
having strange gentlemen callers. I can do that.
91
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,360
I can do strange gentleman
caller. I can do anything.
92
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,980
How about this for strange?
93
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,580
Stop that!
Suppose you stayed like that? I'd have to keep you in the cellar.
94
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:44,040
I'm flying high, babe.
I'm not the cellar type.
95
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,840
Why did you ring the doorbell?
96
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,640
It's a day for bells.
97
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,020
Have you lost your key? Key?
98
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:53,200
It's the metal thing you open
the door with. I have keys.
99
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,000
I have keys for every occasion.
100
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,020
Today I found the key to life.
101
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:03,060
To golf, actually, but for many
of us it comes a close second.
102
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:06,140
What happened to golf
that made it so special?
103
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:08,120
I happened to golf.
104
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,500
I, me...Mr Perfect Swing.
105
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,400
I found the secret.
106
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,160
It's the elbow.
107
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,400
I'm very happy you've got
a secret elbow.
108
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,620
I was magnificent.
109
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:26,280
People who never spoke
to me before said "hi".
110
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,860
That's it?
111
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:32,780
"Hi"? Dwayne Dobbs, who's reputed to
be a millionaire, called me Barry.
112
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:36,360
Wasn't he the one
who went to prison?
113
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,400
Only a nice one.
114
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,160
Oh, and the Captain...
115
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,640
the Captain nodded at me.
116
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,700
Just nodded?
117
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,940
He didn't turn away muttering.
118
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:52,340
He didn't look at me like he'd
just had to wipe me off his shoes.
119
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:57,360
He saw me...and he nodded.
120
00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,220
It's not like you've
been blessed by the pope.
121
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,300
Close.
122
00:09:10,085 --> 00:09:15,465
Are you sure competitors
can pick their own route and go absolutely anywhere?
123
00:09:15,465 --> 00:09:18,445
Anywhere between
Morton and Thackley.
124
00:09:18,445 --> 00:09:21,285
Oh, that's my idea of a challenge.
125
00:09:21,285 --> 00:09:23,465
I like the flexibility.
126
00:09:23,465 --> 00:09:26,405
Mm...and we know why you like
the flexibility.
127
00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:30,665
Here, now...you pick your own route,
128
00:09:30,665 --> 00:09:34,645
you fix the compass bearing and
you follow it without moving off it.
129
00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,425
I can do that.
130
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:39,485
You've never kept to
a straight line in your life.
131
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:41,905
I don't know why people say that.
132
00:09:41,905 --> 00:09:44,265
You can't go round any obstacles.
133
00:09:44,265 --> 00:09:47,545
You either go over or under,
or straight through.
134
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,485
You keep to a straight line.
135
00:09:49,485 --> 00:09:51,465
Exactly as the crow flies.
136
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:54,985
I expect there are people who cheat.
137
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:58,845
They'll all be under the
supervision of an umpire.
138
00:09:58,845 --> 00:10:02,265
You mean you have to have
some busybody with you?
139
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:06,565
You mean people can't trust the
word of a gentleman? Look at him.
140
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:11,005
Don't you just hate it when the
crow next door gets all gloomy?
141
00:10:15,305 --> 00:10:18,325
Now. With regard to
staff training...
142
00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:21,065
How long have we had staff training?
143
00:10:21,065 --> 00:10:24,425
You're getting some now
if you'd shut up a minute.
144
00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:28,145
All businesses at the cutting edge
of modern retailing
145
00:10:28,145 --> 00:10:31,685
are required to set aside
time for staff training.
146
00:10:31,685 --> 00:10:34,245
Can't we do it sitting down?
147
00:10:34,245 --> 00:10:36,425
No, you can't do it sitting down.
148
00:10:36,425 --> 00:10:39,405
Do you think Marks and
Spencer's do it sitting down?
149
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:43,125
You'll be sitting down enough
now you've got the new vehicle.
150
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,765
New vehicle?
151
00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:47,245
It's better than pushing a cart.
152
00:10:47,245 --> 00:10:48,505
BELL JANGLES
153
00:10:54,765 --> 00:11:00,125
I was wondering if you had
another crow costume. For you?
154
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,745
You'd need padding
to be a blackbird.
155
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:08,625
Only joking.
I'm sure we can transform you into an acceptable crow.
156
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:13,385
And while I'm here, I might as well
pick up another one for a friend.
157
00:11:13,385 --> 00:11:16,105
Guess who for.
158
00:11:16,105 --> 00:11:19,705
What size? Oh, I can't say, really.
159
00:11:19,705 --> 00:11:23,805
Not with any precision.
I don't know him all that well.
160
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:25,365
THEY LAUGH
161
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:58,325
Is he entering the
Crowcroft Challenge as well?
162
00:11:58,325 --> 00:12:01,825
You might know...
anything loopy and he's there.
163
00:12:01,825 --> 00:12:05,125
I've warned him.
The first cat's going to have him.
164
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:09,405
I wish Travis would go loopy
occasionally.
165
00:12:09,405 --> 00:12:11,885
He must do sometimes, surely?
166
00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:13,685
He once fell off a sideboard.
167
00:12:13,685 --> 00:12:16,085
That's about as wild as it gets.
168
00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:17,965
You've got a treasure there.
169
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,045
What was he doing on a sideboard?
170
00:12:20,045 --> 00:12:22,045
I never asked.
171
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:25,705
If he wants to be on a sideboard,
who am I to interfere?
172
00:12:25,705 --> 00:12:27,965
But didn't he leave
marks on the sideboard?
173
00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:30,045
He's very considerate.
174
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:35,125
I would never have allowed
mine on the sideboard.
175
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:36,645
He was like Howard.
176
00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:38,925
He could barely reach the sideboard.
177
00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:46,405
Right, now. That's your bearing.
178
00:12:46,405 --> 00:12:48,625
You stay on it at all times.
179
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:52,605
We'll go by road and
meet you at Point B.
180
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,685
Where the heck's Point B?
181
00:12:54,685 --> 00:12:56,505
It's on the map. You marked it.
182
00:12:56,505 --> 00:12:59,085
Oh, right. That Point B.
183
00:12:59,085 --> 00:13:01,005
I can see I'm in good hands(!)
184
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:03,085
Don't get your feathers in a fuss.
185
00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:05,165
Right. Off you go.
186
00:13:10,185 --> 00:13:13,405
They're going to get lost.
We'll never see them again.
187
00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:15,965
How can they get lost?
188
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,245
They've got map and compass.
189
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:20,305
I just have this feeling.
190
00:13:20,305 --> 00:13:24,465
Two skeletons
somewhere on the moors.
191
00:13:24,465 --> 00:13:28,705
Alvin could find his way to
the nearest pub blindfold.
192
00:13:28,705 --> 00:13:31,385
It's finding his way home
again he's not so good at.
193
00:13:31,385 --> 00:13:35,545
And if they do go missing,
who's going to report it?
194
00:13:35,545 --> 00:13:39,685
Can you imagine somebody
asking for a description?
195
00:13:48,525 --> 00:13:49,685
Look at this.
196
00:13:52,985 --> 00:13:57,645
Been celebrating.
Since last week, I guess.
197
00:14:05,165 --> 00:14:06,485
SIREN SOUNDS
198
00:14:07,785 --> 00:14:09,925
Ahhhh!
199
00:14:11,565 --> 00:14:13,145
That's better.
200
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,925
He wasn't safe on the road.
201
00:14:24,785 --> 00:14:26,905
Who called the ambulance?
202
00:14:26,905 --> 00:14:29,285
I think it's marvellous
you got here so quick.
203
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,805
Where do you live?
204
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,605
Where's home?
205
00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:35,265
Home?
206
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:40,245
I demand a second opinion. I am
not going home in this condition.
207
00:14:40,245 --> 00:14:42,125
My wife doesn't understand me.
208
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:44,245
I'm not surprised.
209
00:14:44,245 --> 00:14:46,445
You talk like your jaw's been wired.
210
00:14:46,445 --> 00:14:48,425
Yes, I noticed that.
211
00:14:48,425 --> 00:14:50,265
You don't think it's fatal?
212
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:54,725
I think it's called
being disgustingly drunk.
213
00:14:54,725 --> 00:14:57,565
Thank you, that's a relief.
214
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:08,645
Call me sentimental, but you
run a very fine taxi service.
215
00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:11,285
Hold on. You wait there.
216
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,745
Certainly.
217
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,845
The last one was sick in the car.
218
00:15:19,845 --> 00:15:22,345
I'm not going through that again.
219
00:15:22,345 --> 00:15:24,705
What are we going to do with him?
220
00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:26,385
He's not safe on the road.
221
00:15:28,005 --> 00:15:30,245
I suggest we throw
him over the wall.
222
00:15:31,645 --> 00:15:33,165
It's for his own good.
223
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,025
He'll be safer in the field.
224
00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:41,225
ENTWISTLE: Funny how life turns out.
225
00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:44,185
They say at school...
what you want to be?
226
00:15:44,185 --> 00:15:45,965
I say multi-millionaire.
227
00:15:47,425 --> 00:15:49,705
CLEGG: Maybe they had no vacancies.
228
00:15:49,705 --> 00:15:52,005
TRUELOVE: You should have worn a tie.
229
00:15:53,025 --> 00:15:56,125
CLEGG: I committed suicide
on leaving school.
230
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:58,225
Well, almost.
231
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,945
I became a Lino salesman,
232
00:16:00,945 --> 00:16:05,225
which is as close as you can get
without a gun or a rope.
233
00:16:06,225 --> 00:16:08,045
You didn't like Lino?
234
00:16:08,045 --> 00:16:11,605
How can you like Lino?
235
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:19,745
It's cold, it cracks, it smells.
236
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,785
People used to put
it in their bathrooms.
237
00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:27,045
Which were already
the coldest places on earth.
238
00:16:27,045 --> 00:16:29,565
That's why we never had fridges.
239
00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:31,865
The English bathroom
was just as good.
240
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:37,485
Could this be why people went
to Africa, India? Absolutely.
241
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:40,665
We had to colonise the world.
242
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:45,085
Cold Lino was the driving force
behind the Empire.
243
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:49,405
People would go anywhere
to avoid it.
244
00:16:49,405 --> 00:16:51,885
Hey! There they are.
245
00:16:57,585 --> 00:17:01,125
I thought we were going by road.
You're getting the scenic route.
246
00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:02,885
I demand a recount.
247
00:17:04,685 --> 00:17:05,685
Hey, look!
248
00:17:06,845 --> 00:17:09,965
OK, forget recount.
249
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:17,885
What do you make of that then?
They're not sparrows, that's for sure.
250
00:17:17,885 --> 00:17:20,965
What is it? Can anybody look?
251
00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:29,165
If you're seeing things like that,
you must be as drunk as I am!
252
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:33,305
Go and wait by the car.
253
00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:36,845
You can't miss it.
It's got "Police" all over it.
254
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,685
What d'you think?
255
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,045
CAR ENGINE STARTS
256
00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:10,125
How do we get through this then?
257
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:11,205
Well...
258
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,125
..take a run and a jump.
259
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:16,405
We'll never clear that.
260
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:19,385
Have you tried? Dressed like this?
261
00:18:19,385 --> 00:18:21,685
Why don't you try flapping wings?
262
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:24,485
Have you tried not
flapping your lip?
263
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,845
I always say...
264
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:30,585
if at first you don't succeed...
265
00:18:30,585 --> 00:18:32,325
it's time to go home.
266
00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:38,465
But that, of course, is the
philosophy of a Lino salesman.
267
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,845
Did you ever sell much
Lino with that philosophy?
268
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:44,465
Well, no, not really, no.
269
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:49,245
My colleague was often caught
with his finger up his nose.
270
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:52,065
It kept the faithful at bay.
271
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:56,065
I think I knew him.
Did he have big nose?
272
00:18:56,065 --> 00:18:59,045
He was working on it.
273
00:18:59,045 --> 00:19:02,605
Can we get back to our problem here?
274
00:19:02,605 --> 00:19:06,865
We could take these things off,
crawl through and put them back on.
275
00:19:06,865 --> 00:19:10,765
Won't do. Breach of rules.
276
00:19:10,765 --> 00:19:12,365
We'll have to improvise.
277
00:19:37,865 --> 00:19:39,165
Aaargh!
278
00:19:39,165 --> 00:19:40,405
CRASH!
279
00:19:45,865 --> 00:19:49,045
How are we going to explain this one?
280
00:19:49,045 --> 00:19:51,525
It'll have to be something creative.
281
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,405
How far have you got?
282
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:56,885
Armed gang.
283
00:19:56,885 --> 00:19:58,585
I like it so far.
284
00:19:58,585 --> 00:20:00,125
Go on.
285
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:03,965
After a desperate struggle
we were overcome.
286
00:20:03,965 --> 00:20:06,325
We had them worried though,
didn't we?
287
00:20:06,325 --> 00:20:09,525
They'll think twice about
pinching our police car again.
288
00:20:11,425 --> 00:20:14,685
We're in some deep clag, aren't we?
289
00:20:14,685 --> 00:20:16,965
It's not looking good, is it?
290
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:20,065
I remember the fuss they made
when we lost a door mirror.
291
00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,525
One door mirror.
292
00:20:26,105 --> 00:20:27,885
No!
293
00:20:27,885 --> 00:20:31,285
We can't pack up at
the first obstacle.
294
00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:34,145
Works for me.
295
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,585
Of course you can't pack in.
296
00:20:36,585 --> 00:20:38,045
Plan B.
297
00:20:42,445 --> 00:20:45,105
Use your wings for balance.
298
00:20:45,105 --> 00:20:47,705
Just be careful where
you're shoving.
299
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,805
At this rate I may never lay again.
300
00:20:50,805 --> 00:20:54,865
Where's this pocket he's supposed
to have? That's not a pocket.
301
00:20:54,865 --> 00:20:56,465
Stop poking about!
302
00:20:56,465 --> 00:21:01,365
Where I've been today,
I don't wish to be widely known.
303
00:21:01,365 --> 00:21:03,525
Push! He's slipping back.
304
00:21:03,525 --> 00:21:06,165
There's no brake pads on these feet.
305
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,025
Get your shoulders behind him.
306
00:21:08,025 --> 00:21:11,885
There's more behind than shoulders.
307
00:21:11,885 --> 00:21:14,865
I think I found pocket. Wrong!
308
00:21:14,865 --> 00:21:18,645
Aargh! Watch it! Watch it!
309
00:21:32,845 --> 00:21:35,005
Are you going golfing again?
310
00:21:35,005 --> 00:21:36,845
That's twice today.
311
00:21:36,845 --> 00:21:38,725
I'm hot, Glenda.
312
00:21:38,725 --> 00:21:40,885
I'm like a fluid golfing machine.
313
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:42,805
I've got to use it while I've got it.
314
00:21:42,805 --> 00:21:45,545
Are you always going to
be leaving me twice a day?
315
00:21:45,545 --> 00:21:49,345
No! No, it's just
that today is special.
316
00:21:49,345 --> 00:21:51,065
The captain nodded at me.
317
00:21:51,065 --> 00:21:53,645
Stay home. I'll nod at you.
318
00:21:55,805 --> 00:21:57,525
Glenda!
319
00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:00,505
I'm on the brink of greatness.
320
00:22:00,505 --> 00:22:04,965
You're on the brink of a sharp
reduction in your quality of life.
321
00:22:08,085 --> 00:22:09,485
DOOR SLAMS
322
00:22:13,705 --> 00:22:15,705
Right, Entwistle, back it up.
323
00:22:15,705 --> 00:22:17,385
Come on. As you go...
324
00:22:17,385 --> 00:22:21,805
Straighten it up, come on, that's it.
Wait, wait! Hold it! That's it.
325
00:22:22,905 --> 00:22:24,305
Problem solved.
326
00:22:24,305 --> 00:22:28,285
You climb onto the truck, on
the planks and jump over the hedge.
327
00:22:28,285 --> 00:22:29,925
But what's at the other side?
328
00:22:29,925 --> 00:22:31,985
Freedom.
329
00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:33,965
You're back on target again.
330
00:22:37,905 --> 00:22:40,305
This is not best view of crow.
331
00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:43,285
Just don't be looking
for any more pockets.
332
00:22:48,285 --> 00:22:51,285
I think we were
faster on the handcart.
333
00:22:51,285 --> 00:22:53,865
I don't like racing about.
334
00:22:53,865 --> 00:22:58,565
Well, we've got the ideal
vehicle for not racing about.
335
00:22:58,565 --> 00:23:00,485
It's better than pushing.
336
00:23:07,205 --> 00:23:09,025
Now what?
337
00:23:09,025 --> 00:23:12,965
I don't know, but I don't
think it's a speeding ticket.
338
00:23:19,025 --> 00:23:22,365
Did you have a ladies' coffee
morning when you lived away?
339
00:23:22,365 --> 00:23:24,145
They were compulsory.
340
00:23:24,145 --> 00:23:27,925
The coffee was all right,
but the preparation was tiring.
341
00:23:27,925 --> 00:23:30,205
What did you have to prepare?
342
00:23:30,205 --> 00:23:33,785
Your dialogue. You were
expected to be word perfect
343
00:23:33,785 --> 00:23:37,125
in whatever it was you were
going to swank about.
344
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,865
What happened if you didn't
bother preparing?
345
00:23:39,865 --> 00:23:44,845
Then you were condemned just to
listen to what the others were swanking about.
346
00:23:44,845 --> 00:23:47,365
I think I've been to one of those.
347
00:23:47,365 --> 00:23:50,285
Not here, you haven't. No, not here.
348
00:23:50,285 --> 00:23:52,985
It was the wife of
a colleague of Barry's.
349
00:23:52,985 --> 00:23:56,485
Showing her holiday films.
Went on forever.
350
00:23:56,485 --> 00:24:00,285
I think her tan had nearly worn off
by the time it was over.
351
00:24:00,285 --> 00:24:04,005
They get tanned in
places you never used to see.
352
00:24:04,005 --> 00:24:05,605
Oil and heat.
353
00:24:05,605 --> 00:24:07,985
They look like roast potatoes.
354
00:24:07,985 --> 00:24:11,845
Roast potatoes
were a no-no where we were.
355
00:24:11,845 --> 00:24:14,925
The rule of thumb for
healthy living was...
356
00:24:14,925 --> 00:24:17,845
if it tastes good
it's going to kill you.
357
00:24:17,845 --> 00:24:20,065
I could kill him next door.
358
00:24:20,065 --> 00:24:22,185
I think he's got a woman in.
359
00:24:22,185 --> 00:24:24,265
He pulls your leg.
360
00:24:24,265 --> 00:24:27,825
He was on his hands and knees with
Truly looking for an earring.
361
00:24:27,825 --> 00:24:29,585
They're having you on.
362
00:24:29,585 --> 00:24:35,765
I don't see why he should
think I'm interested in whether he has a woman in or not.
363
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,665
Is he a womaniser?
364
00:24:37,665 --> 00:24:40,025
Aren't they all?
365
00:24:40,025 --> 00:24:41,925
What about Norman Clegg?
366
00:24:41,925 --> 00:24:45,485
All right. Aren't they all
except for Norman Clegg.
367
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,205
My Wally wasn't a womaniser.
368
00:24:48,205 --> 00:24:52,765
And we don't have to look
far to see what put him off.
369
00:24:52,765 --> 00:24:57,245
I sometimes think golf
is as big a threat to a marriage.
370
00:24:57,245 --> 00:24:59,065
At least they have to keep score.
371
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,785
They soon learn how good
they are at it.
372
00:25:01,785 --> 00:25:06,765
With women even the worst players
think they're ready for turning pro.
373
00:25:06,765 --> 00:25:11,065
Travis shows no signs of interest
in women or golf.
374
00:25:11,065 --> 00:25:14,785
It isn't as though he's on any form
of medication.
375
00:25:14,785 --> 00:25:22,265
Well, he takes an aspirin
occasionally, but I can't see that wiping out his deepest instincts.
376
00:25:22,265 --> 00:25:25,585
Perhaps he hasn't got
any deepest instincts.
377
00:25:25,585 --> 00:25:27,825
They've all got deepest instincts.
378
00:25:27,825 --> 00:25:30,505
What do you think the
honeymoons are for?
379
00:25:30,505 --> 00:25:37,525
You've got the best part of
a week to cure them of any ambitions in that direction.
380
00:25:37,525 --> 00:25:39,585
I enjoyed my honeymoon.
381
00:25:39,585 --> 00:25:41,585
I enjoyed mine.
382
00:25:41,585 --> 00:25:43,805
It only rained one day.
383
00:25:46,305 --> 00:25:47,765
Cakes? Ooh...
384
00:26:03,305 --> 00:26:05,005
SIREN BLARES
385
00:26:10,385 --> 00:26:12,425
HORN TOOTS
386
00:26:15,705 --> 00:26:18,405
RADIO: Patrol car 37,
will you come in, please?
387
00:26:24,325 --> 00:26:28,085
Can't you get a bit more va-va-voom
out of this thing?
388
00:26:28,085 --> 00:26:30,365
It's going flat out.
389
00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:37,385
Hope I don't get thorns in my eyes.
390
00:26:37,385 --> 00:26:39,385
Pull your visors down then.
391
00:26:53,805 --> 00:26:55,505
TYRES SCREECH
392
00:26:55,505 --> 00:26:56,685
CRASH!
393
00:27:09,025 --> 00:27:10,725
How do, Barry?
394
00:27:12,305 --> 00:27:13,965
How's it going, Barry?
395
00:27:18,365 --> 00:27:21,345
I've never seen them before.
396
00:27:21,345 --> 00:27:23,445
I don't know anybody
who looks like that.
397
00:27:31,605 --> 00:27:34,485
I hope you're having
more fun than me, Barry.
398
00:27:47,445 --> 00:27:50,245
We forgot the crisps.
399
00:27:50,245 --> 00:27:52,965
YOU forgot the crisps.
I forgot the nuts.
400
00:27:58,865 --> 00:28:01,285
Did you see that? See what?
401
00:28:01,285 --> 00:28:03,865
The two crows. Crows?
402
00:28:03,865 --> 00:28:06,365
Carrying a tray of drinks.
403
00:28:06,365 --> 00:28:09,525
Lager or bitter?
404
00:28:09,525 --> 00:28:12,945
Hands up, anyone see two
crows carrying tray?
405
00:28:12,945 --> 00:28:15,625
I think he needs a drink.
406
00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:17,165
I'm giving it up.
407
00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:32,265
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408
00:28:32,315 --> 00:28:36,865
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