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1
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,180
She said worms have
beautiful singing voices.
2
00:00:04,180 --> 00:00:07,080
Only most people couldn't hear 'em.
3
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,600
Did she say anything else, like...
4
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,380
"goodbye" when they took her away?
5
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:16,100
She was very serious
about being in tune with nature.
6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,820
It sounds serious enough to me.
7
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:22,960
Did she have any excuse
for being strange like...
8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,180
coming from Padgate?
9
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:27,180
I wish you lot would be quiet.
10
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:28,780
I can't hear the worms.
11
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:09,300
Get something on.
12
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,540
Try and stay calm.
13
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,640
Don't think of me as exciting.
14
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:20,100
Try and think of me as just another
example of Nature's magnificence.
15
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,600
Think of me as a tree or a sunset.
16
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,840
Sunset?!
17
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,380
It's your headset
you ought to worry about.
18
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,300
Proper little helper.
19
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,460
Under proper management.
20
00:01:41,460 --> 00:01:45,040
They don't look right in an apron.
21
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,280
He doesn't look
all that right in trousers.
22
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,860
Oh, come on!
You must have thought so at one time.
23
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:54,280
Well, he was thinner then.
24
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,720
He could look so pathetic.
25
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,240
I just wanted to feed him.
26
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,180
I know what you mean.
27
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:07,440
I always think that
Travis was once a golden labrador.
28
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,460
Does Howard eat well?
29
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:11,840
I wouldn't say well.
30
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,660
More like a lot.
31
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,680
I know you're talking about me.
32
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,540
You think all I'm fit for
is wearing a pinny.
33
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,220
Well, let me remind you
that I am man,
34
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:26,020
the breadwinner, hunter and fisher.
35
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,940
Hunter?
36
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:34,820
He needs telling
where to find his clean socks.
37
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:38,000
You wonder why you marry them,
38
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,780
but then what else is there?
39
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:52,480
How can I sweep this yard when
you're always cluttering it up?
40
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,200
This isn't clutter.
41
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,520
This is style.
42
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,860
Relax. Sit down. Talk to me.
43
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:02,240
What can I talk about to men?
44
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,280
Tell me your hopes and dreams.
45
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,580
I was hoping to sweep this yard.
46
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:10,760
Your secret hopes,
your private dreams.
47
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,580
You see? Heads full of rubbish.
48
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:17,360
It's us women who have to know
the price of a loaf of bread. 42p.
49
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,540
You've been overcharged.
50
00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:21,460
Ah!
51
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,120
Good morning, Mrs Batty.
52
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,860
It is for some.
53
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,300
You'll have to excuse her.
54
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,380
She caught a glimpse
this morning of my naked elbows.
55
00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:35,880
Not both of 'em? Both of them,
and it's left her severely stressed.
56
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,720
In a pair of shorts, you don't
amount to much more than an elbow.
57
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,140
Morning, Mrs Batty.
58
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:43,480
Ye gods! There's more.
59
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,500
By! She does remind me of home.
60
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,320
Hey...
61
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,860
if tha thought tha
sense of adventure was dead, cast thee eyes over that.
62
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:56,940
I've got a recruit. For what?
63
00:03:56,940 --> 00:04:01,760
For the Merry Men.
Billy, you've found another...
64
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,720
What was the word I was looking for?
65
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,380
..Idiot.
66
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:09,640
And people with no faith said you'd
never find anybody as daft as you.
67
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,100
Well, the clever beggars
were wrong then, weren't they?
68
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,440
I'm looking for the
Phantom of Sherwood Forest.
69
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:26,280
There's a new bread man, but
he's nobody's idea of a phantom.
70
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,780
All right,
I'll settle for Billy Hardcastle.
71
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:31,440
If you can't see him, he's not here.
72
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,480
I can't imagine why you should
think I might be concealing him on the premises.
73
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,320
Right, we'll wait for him.
74
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:44,380
He'll be in a state of high
excitement, which is not something I've ever achieved personally.
75
00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:48,940
It's one of the advantages
of always wearing braces.
76
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:52,780
Could that explain Nora
Batty's attitude to excitement?
77
00:04:52,780 --> 00:04:54,600
I wonder if she wears braces?
78
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,360
I'll tell her you were asking.
79
00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:02,320
No, don't do that. I don't want
to be known as the bloke who discovered Nora Batty's braces.
80
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,020
Just sit yourselves down and behave.
81
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:12,060
What time is this
Merry Man fella's bus due in?
82
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:13,740
20 minutes yet.
83
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,660
That's if he hasn't missed it.
84
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:19,360
I can't see Billy's raw
material being all that efficient.
85
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,560
What's Billy going to do with this
Merry Man when he gets him?
86
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,960
He'll begin training him up to
the same peak of lunacy as himself.
87
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:31,440
Wow! As far as that?
What can I get you lot?
88
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,660
Nothing, thank you.
We're just waiting.
89
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:36,180
Outside is for waiting.
90
00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:38,840
Inside is for "what can I get you?"
91
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:42,920
Three teas, Ivy, please.
DOOR OPENS
92
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,180
Make that four.
93
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:47,320
Ye gods! The circus comes to town.
94
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,860
Don't YOU start. I've just
had all that from the missus.
95
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:56,120
CLEGG CHUCKLES
They've got absolutely no feel for adventure.
96
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,120
Took YOU on, didn't she?
97
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,180
It's the hat.
98
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,040
You don't like the hat.
99
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,820
We love the hat, Billy.
It makes you look...
100
00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:07,680
Demented.
101
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,960
And that's just the feather.
102
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,200
It's modelled on Robin
Hood's genuine hat, is this.
103
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,400
No wonder he crept
into the greenwood.
104
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:20,580
I bet they all thought he was
French or even a dress designer.
105
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,020
Aren't you overdoing it,
Billy, just to meet a bus?
106
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:26,220
I'm not just meeting a bus.
107
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:32,180
I'm meeting a man who, if he's any
good, will probably become my chief lieutenant in the organisation.
108
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:36,400
Could we enquire what organisation?
109
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,360
The Merry Men.
110
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,780
It's a combined club
and sporting fraternity.
111
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,660
We'll go camping at weekends
and practise our skills.
112
00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:48,920
I told you. Demented.
113
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,420
I'll say this for you, Billy,
114
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:58,200
your new recruit should have no
difficulty guessing which one of us is playing Robin Hood.
115
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,340
It's important to make
a good first impression.
116
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:07,140
This man's going to trust himself
to my experience of the great outdoors and the wild things in it.
117
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:10,860
How is your wife and her sister?
118
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,580
Hey up! Not as wild as that.
119
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,220
Has he got a name, this bloke?
120
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,780
Or are you using code names?
121
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,620
Is he going to be Little John?
122
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,400
Or even smaller.
123
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:26,140
He's a Mr DW Cheetham and he's
very keen. Ready to go. Hot to trot.
124
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:28,700
Can't wait to get started. ..Hey up!
125
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,060
How do I look?
126
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,580
For somebody
he's going to go camping with?
127
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,400
Well, let's just say...
128
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,880
he'll have to be keen.
129
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,160
DW Cheetham reporting for duty,
Chief!
130
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,420
I don't know whether it suits me.
131
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:22,660
On the other hand, some say it does.
132
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:24,880
What do you think, Barry?
It suits you.
133
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,680
Are you sure? You don't even know
which garment I'm talking about.
134
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,300
I don't care. It suits you.
135
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,240
You've not even been listening.
136
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,300
I'm talking about that little black
top I got to go with the new skirt.
137
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,420
Oh, look! There's Miss Davenport.
138
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:48,120
Barry? Barry?
139
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:05,980
Oh, Barry!
140
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,420
This is so reckless and dangerous.
141
00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:10,360
Why did you come in here?
142
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,320
A perm. I've always wanted
highlights and a perm.
143
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,700
How did you know? That I've
always wanted highlights and a perm?
144
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,980
You just know.
145
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:24,880
You knew I was coming in here. Oh!
You must be intensely psychic.
146
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,820
I wouldn't say intensely.
147
00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:28,620
But...
148
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:31,780
you mustn't leave Glenda
out there in the street.
149
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,000
Go back to her, Barry.
150
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,700
We can never be anything more than
a wonderful "might have been".
151
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:42,100
Hey, wow! Is that the time already?
152
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,160
What kept you?
153
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,060
What are you doing in a
ladies' hairdressers, Barry?
154
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:57,980
I thought I might treat you
to a new hairstyle. Oh...!
155
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,820
You don't like my hair!
156
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,620
I do.
157
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:07,920
I like your hair. I love your hair.
158
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,460
If I was a mattress, I'd be
proud to be stuffed with your hair.
159
00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:43,578
Do you think
we'll ever see Billy again?
160
00:10:43,578 --> 00:10:47,418
I doubt it. Once she gets him in
the greenwood, I think he's a goner.
161
00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:48,938
She's a big, fine lass.
162
00:10:48,938 --> 00:10:52,558
She's bigger than that. One of
us ought to keep an eye on him.
163
00:10:52,558 --> 00:10:55,458
Can I ask you a serious question?
164
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,578
And I want a serious answer.
165
00:10:57,578 --> 00:11:00,478
I don't know whether
we do serious answers.
166
00:11:00,478 --> 00:11:02,758
I'll have to consult
my colleagues here.
167
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:06,558
I think we can promise him our full
attention. I'm not getting involved.
168
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:08,338
There's nothing like that.
169
00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:10,938
I want a straight answer.
170
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:14,618
Do you think
I'm too old to learn to fly?
171
00:11:20,718 --> 00:11:23,838
I do like your hair.
I've always liked your hair.
172
00:11:23,838 --> 00:11:25,658
You've got lovely hair.
173
00:11:25,658 --> 00:11:28,978
It's so smooth and thick.
174
00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:30,718
Just like my big mouth.
175
00:11:32,298 --> 00:11:33,758
I'll be off, then.
176
00:11:41,538 --> 00:11:42,978
What are you doing?
177
00:11:42,978 --> 00:11:45,758
I'm sitting on the stairs.
178
00:11:49,338 --> 00:11:51,838
Why are you sitting on the stairs?
179
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:55,998
Because I've just decided what I'm
going to do with the rest of my life.
180
00:11:55,998 --> 00:11:58,598
What ARE you going to do
with the rest of your life?
181
00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:02,098
I'm going to sit on the stairs.
182
00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:04,318
It's the only place you feel safe.
183
00:12:07,118 --> 00:12:09,438
I think it would really suit me,
184
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:13,438
casually switching
to oxygen at 10,000 feet.
185
00:12:13,438 --> 00:12:17,058
Howard,
you're always at 10,000 feet.
186
00:12:17,058 --> 00:12:19,498
You're a child of the stratosphere.
187
00:12:19,498 --> 00:12:21,218
Big dreamer. Big ideas.
188
00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:23,678
Head in the clouds. I know the type.
189
00:12:23,678 --> 00:12:26,358
I was always arresting
'em for non-payment.
190
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,738
People learn to drive at my age.
191
00:12:30,738 --> 00:12:33,458
I don't see
why they can't learn to fly.
192
00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:37,598
You can get into enough trouble
on a bicycle. You see?
193
00:12:37,598 --> 00:12:41,278
People always associate me
with a bicycle.
194
00:12:41,278 --> 00:12:43,738
I deserve something better
than that.
195
00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:46,418
On what grounds, could we ask?
196
00:12:46,418 --> 00:12:52,598
On the grounds of personality,
sense of adventure, daring.
197
00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:57,038
I'm essentially much more your
jet jockey than a two-wheeler.
198
00:12:57,038 --> 00:13:00,598
Maybe you're ready
for a three-wheeler.
199
00:13:00,598 --> 00:13:06,918
I've seen you fall out of a window,
but, otherwise, have you ever flown?
200
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,478
I was once on one of
those fairground rides
201
00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:14,038
where they give you the same
G forces as a fighter pilot. And...?
202
00:13:14,038 --> 00:13:16,638
I was sick.
203
00:13:16,638 --> 00:13:18,878
But I don't want
to be a fighter pilot.
204
00:13:18,878 --> 00:13:22,918
I want to fly something
not much faster than a bicycle.
205
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,158
I need help here
206
00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:36,338
before word gets back
to the missus and her sister.
207
00:13:36,338 --> 00:13:40,518
I can see it now,
some big mouth saying, "Did you know
208
00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:44,698
"your Billy's going camping in the
woods with Tarzan's daughter?" Relax.
209
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,038
Relax?! Have you shaken her hand?
210
00:13:48,038 --> 00:13:51,738
She's got a grip like the bite of
a donkey. A grip for the greenwood.
211
00:13:51,738 --> 00:13:53,778
Should come in very handy.
212
00:13:53,778 --> 00:13:55,598
There'll be no greenwood.
213
00:13:55,598 --> 00:14:00,178
I want her long gone
before I step into any greenwood.
214
00:14:00,178 --> 00:14:02,338
What's the point anyway?
215
00:14:02,338 --> 00:14:04,498
She's crushed my best bow hand.
216
00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:06,098
Relax. I've got the message.
217
00:14:06,098 --> 00:14:08,238
You're not ready for Maid Marion.
218
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,978
I'm not ready for this one.
219
00:14:10,978 --> 00:14:16,798
All you have to do is let her
fire a few arrows, then tell her she's failed the entrance exam.
220
00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:19,898
"Sorry and all that.
Come back next year."
221
00:14:19,898 --> 00:14:21,978
That's good.
222
00:14:21,978 --> 00:14:23,798
I like it.
223
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,578
I pull Barry's leg, bless him.
224
00:14:47,578 --> 00:14:49,338
He thinks I mean it.
225
00:14:49,338 --> 00:14:51,738
I can't resist making him blush.
226
00:14:51,738 --> 00:14:53,078
It's funny.
227
00:14:53,078 --> 00:14:57,218
The ones who blush are too nice
ever to have much to blush about.
228
00:14:59,538 --> 00:15:03,338
Oh, good heavens!
I feel guilty already.
229
00:15:03,338 --> 00:15:07,418
Relax, ladies. We apologise
for bringing the smell of blood and violence
230
00:15:07,418 --> 00:15:09,238
into your peaceful existence -
231
00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:11,758
that's how it is out there
on the frontline.
232
00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:15,098
That thin line
where death is no stranger.
233
00:15:15,098 --> 00:15:16,938
Has there been an accident?
234
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:19,238
Nothing specific.
235
00:15:19,238 --> 00:15:22,418
More the dark underbelly
of human depravity.
236
00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:24,378
Oh, don't!
237
00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:26,358
You get used to it.
238
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:30,278
The trick is not to let it dull your
sensitivity to the beauty of life.
239
00:15:30,278 --> 00:15:35,438
Oh, I do so agree. One has to keep
one's faith in the finer things.
240
00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:38,398
He still finds time
to smell the flowers.
241
00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:40,158
I don't smell the flow...
STAMP!
242
00:15:40,158 --> 00:15:42,378
There are those
who would misunderstand.
243
00:15:42,378 --> 00:15:46,178
How true. I think it's lovely.
244
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:47,938
Does he have a favourite flower?
245
00:15:47,938 --> 00:15:50,918
The daisy. Give over!
246
00:15:50,918 --> 00:15:53,918
He's modest about it,
but he loves daisies.
247
00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:56,518
He's known as Daisy
back at the station.
248
00:15:57,658 --> 00:16:03,058
We like a man who likes his daisies.
Now, ladies, we're looking for this desperate character.
249
00:16:03,058 --> 00:16:06,378
BOTH: Aren't we all?!
250
00:16:06,378 --> 00:16:10,298
But this one's armed and dangerous.
251
00:16:10,298 --> 00:16:12,018
You see how it is?
252
00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:14,638
Your life on the line every day.
253
00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:18,058
No wonder some of us break
under the stress.
254
00:16:18,058 --> 00:16:23,298
Of course, it helps if there's
a place where you can drop in occasionally for tea and sympathy.
255
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,598
I'll put the kettle on.
256
00:16:25,598 --> 00:16:28,858
How many sugars?
Just milk for me, two for Daisy.
257
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:37,998
'These premises are protected
by closed-circuit annihilation.
258
00:16:40,218 --> 00:16:45,638
'The management accepts no
responsibility for persons tripping over the remains of shoplifters.'
259
00:16:46,978 --> 00:16:48,878
Oh, it's you lot.
260
00:16:48,878 --> 00:16:52,238
Now, I trust you lot,
though I would warn you not to move,
261
00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:54,938
since certain items
are booby-trapped.
262
00:16:54,938 --> 00:16:56,598
I'll be with you in a jiffy.
263
00:16:56,598 --> 00:17:01,358
Don't move.
I believe every word she says.
264
00:17:01,358 --> 00:17:06,318
I wish someone would explain
what we're doing here anyway.
265
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,238
You don't really need
to learn to fly.
266
00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:12,998
All you need to do is start the
rumour that you're learning to fly.
267
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:17,938
Then goodbye, Mr Bicycle -
hello, Fearless Flyboy!
268
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:20,178
Oh...!
269
00:17:20,178 --> 00:17:23,258
I could live with that.
270
00:17:23,258 --> 00:17:25,458
How do we start the rumour?
271
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:27,938
We'll see if Auntie has the answer.
272
00:17:27,938 --> 00:17:31,978
Auntie always has the answer.
The only problem is, you can't afford it.
273
00:17:33,098 --> 00:17:34,618
Ah!
274
00:17:35,738 --> 00:17:40,038
That was last week.
This week there's a sale on. Now, what are we looking for?
275
00:17:40,038 --> 00:17:45,258
Something for Howard, to give the
impression that he's learning to fly.
276
00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:49,398
And we don't want a Boeing 747!
277
00:17:49,398 --> 00:17:52,698
Just as well.
I sold the last one this morning.
278
00:17:58,218 --> 00:17:59,918
She's in the yard.
279
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:07,898
You saw that.
280
00:18:07,898 --> 00:18:11,018
She knew we were watching. Uncanny.
281
00:18:11,018 --> 00:18:13,618
She has these...gifts.
282
00:18:13,618 --> 00:18:15,778
Gifts? Powers.
283
00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:17,538
Mysterious powers.
284
00:18:17,538 --> 00:18:20,498
We use her a lot. For what?
285
00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:22,658
Guidance. Healing.
286
00:18:22,658 --> 00:18:24,458
Herbs, potions.
287
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:27,578
Are you saying she's a witch?
288
00:18:27,578 --> 00:18:29,618
Close.
289
00:18:40,378 --> 00:18:42,418
What are you staring for?
290
00:18:42,418 --> 00:18:44,138
What do you want?
291
00:18:44,138 --> 00:18:46,778
Thy judgement, Old Wise Woman.
292
00:18:46,778 --> 00:18:49,178
What's he on about?
293
00:19:02,158 --> 00:19:06,378
He wanted you to be among
the first to meet his new woman.
294
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:09,318
He hopes you'll approve.
295
00:19:09,318 --> 00:19:13,218
He's moving no trollop
in next door to me.
296
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,618
Take her back! Get rid of her!
297
00:19:26,338 --> 00:19:29,178
Have you ever been up there?
298
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:31,218
Yeah, I've been up there.
299
00:19:31,218 --> 00:19:34,418
You have? Yeah. More than once.
300
00:19:34,418 --> 00:19:36,958
You old sly boots!
301
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:40,018
I never figured you for
collecting the old Air Miles.
302
00:19:40,018 --> 00:19:42,558
All I collected was sore knees.
303
00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:46,378
It gives you sore knees?
304
00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:48,338
I never knew that.
305
00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:50,258
And it gave me the willies.
306
00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:52,018
You didn't enjoy it?
307
00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:53,658
I've got no head for heights.
308
00:19:53,658 --> 00:19:55,318
How do you think I feel?
309
00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:57,718
But you were all right inside,
weren't you?
310
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:00,958
I wasn't inside -
I was outside, clinging on.
311
00:20:02,558 --> 00:20:05,538
I've heard of economy,
but that's overdoing it.
312
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,678
And the slates were loose.
313
00:20:07,678 --> 00:20:10,538
They certainly were
if you were outside clinging on.
314
00:20:12,218 --> 00:20:15,178
I hate working on roofs.
315
00:20:15,178 --> 00:20:18,358
I'm talking about flying.
316
00:20:18,358 --> 00:20:21,198
Have you ever been up
in an aeroplane?
317
00:20:22,778 --> 00:20:25,698
They wouldn't let me fly Spitfires.
318
00:20:25,698 --> 00:20:28,258
I was too tall.
319
00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:30,478
They didn't have one to fit.
320
00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:33,058
I think you might be
exaggerating there.
321
00:20:35,178 --> 00:20:37,238
Maybe just a bit.
322
00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:40,318
I did have a moped.
323
00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:44,538
What's going on?
324
00:20:44,538 --> 00:20:46,618
She's finding him a helmet.
325
00:20:46,618 --> 00:20:48,738
He ought to leave while he's ahead.
326
00:20:48,738 --> 00:20:52,578
The next thing you know,
she'll be finding him an engine and a pair of wings.
327
00:20:57,878 --> 00:21:01,098
I was thinking of something
a bit more space-age.
328
00:21:04,738 --> 00:21:07,178
This is what
the pioneers used to wear.
329
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,818
The early heroes.
330
00:21:09,818 --> 00:21:13,498
Oh, well then...!
331
00:21:13,498 --> 00:21:16,658
Yeah, that sounds more like me.
332
00:21:16,658 --> 00:21:18,738
Try it on, Fearless Flyboy.
333
00:21:18,738 --> 00:21:20,218
Let's have a look at you.
334
00:21:24,338 --> 00:21:26,018
Howard!
335
00:21:27,118 --> 00:21:30,478
You look just like Howard
in a funny hat.
336
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,618
He's joking.
337
00:21:33,618 --> 00:21:36,458
You look...
338
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,518
Goodness, is it that time already?
339
00:21:44,398 --> 00:21:47,338
My Barry is just sitting
on the stairs.
340
00:21:47,338 --> 00:21:49,178
Is that a problem?
341
00:21:49,178 --> 00:21:51,278
It is when you're vacuuming.
342
00:21:51,278 --> 00:21:55,138
Do you go round them or move them?
I move them.
343
00:21:55,138 --> 00:21:57,258
You have to get underneath.
344
00:21:57,258 --> 00:22:02,958
I move them, but then you hear
of these unnatural marriages where the husband's in charge.
345
00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:06,298
There are poor souls out there
who wouldn't dare move a husband.
346
00:22:06,298 --> 00:22:09,018
Oh, I couldn't be doing with that.
347
00:22:09,018 --> 00:22:12,778
Fancy having a man around
the house if you can't put it where you want it.
348
00:22:12,778 --> 00:22:15,218
I sometimes do.
349
00:22:15,218 --> 00:22:16,658
Do what?
350
00:22:16,658 --> 00:22:19,838
Fancy having a man around the house.
351
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:22,878
Travis has very limited skills
on the Black & Decker.
352
00:22:22,878 --> 00:22:27,338
At least he doesn't wander off
like they do these days.
353
00:22:27,338 --> 00:22:29,298
A husband is for life -
354
00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:31,518
not just for Christmas.
355
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:34,478
They don't make it
much past Boxing Day.
356
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:39,158
What could it be, do you think,
that makes a man sit on the stairs?
357
00:22:40,218 --> 00:22:43,278
Has he got a hole in his trousers?
358
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:46,318
Some of them are very shy
about what's underneath.
359
00:22:46,318 --> 00:22:49,398
And some of them have
good reason to be.
360
00:22:49,398 --> 00:22:52,778
My Barry is always
reliable about the trousers.
361
00:22:54,618 --> 00:22:56,778
I can just hear your mother saying,
362
00:22:56,778 --> 00:22:58,578
"Drink your coffee."
363
00:23:00,398 --> 00:23:03,458
It just seems so peculiar,
him sitting on the stairs.
364
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:06,018
They can be more peculiar than that.
365
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:07,978
She's right, love.
366
00:23:07,978 --> 00:23:09,578
They have a gene for daft.
367
00:23:15,298 --> 00:23:17,258
Oh, heck.
368
00:23:17,258 --> 00:23:19,538
I'd forgotten you lot were here.
369
00:23:22,418 --> 00:23:24,958
The prosecution rests.
370
00:23:27,918 --> 00:23:31,718
You can't put me back on the bus
just because of some old witch.
371
00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:34,718
Not just any old witch -
she's OUR witch.
372
00:23:34,718 --> 00:23:37,598
Robin Hood never went
anywhere without his old witch.
373
00:23:37,598 --> 00:23:40,078
They were essential
for planning purposes.
374
00:23:40,078 --> 00:23:43,358
I mean, we'd love to keep you,
but we daren't cross the old girl.
375
00:23:43,358 --> 00:23:46,378
She gets nasty,
she can give you warts.
376
00:23:46,378 --> 00:23:48,178
She can wilt your blossoms.
377
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:50,098
I'm disappointed.
378
00:23:50,098 --> 00:23:54,998
I've been looking for ages
for some exciting challenge I can hitch my wagon to.
379
00:24:01,658 --> 00:24:03,718
You want lift?
380
00:24:05,818 --> 00:24:08,358
We want a psychic second opinion.
381
00:24:08,358 --> 00:24:11,178
Is this young lady suitable
for joining the Merry Men?
382
00:24:11,178 --> 00:24:13,098
Have you got a wizard as well?
383
00:24:13,098 --> 00:24:15,058
How come he knows so much?
384
00:24:15,058 --> 00:24:17,638
Ancient civilisation.
385
00:24:17,638 --> 00:24:22,358
My ancestors built first temple
in Bridlington. Now bingo hall.
386
00:24:22,358 --> 00:24:26,098
How can HE tell
whether I'm suitable or not?
387
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:29,158
You come. We do ceremony.
388
00:24:39,738 --> 00:24:42,738
It's what the pioneers used to wear.
389
00:24:42,738 --> 00:24:44,478
It works for you, Howard.
390
00:24:44,478 --> 00:24:47,338
You look daft enough
to be brave enough for anything.
391
00:24:49,838 --> 00:24:52,558
Do you think he means that?
Oh, I think he means that.
392
00:24:54,858 --> 00:24:56,518
Billy needs help.
393
00:24:56,518 --> 00:24:59,138
There's a mutiny
among the Merry Men.
394
00:24:59,138 --> 00:25:00,998
She won't go home.
395
00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:02,978
I think he's going to
have to marry her.
396
00:25:02,978 --> 00:25:05,178
This is no time for jokes.
397
00:25:05,178 --> 00:25:07,998
Who's joking? Relax, Billy.
398
00:25:07,998 --> 00:25:12,078
Where is the woman? She's up
the road arguing with Entwistle.
399
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:15,098
She won't believe
he's magical and comes from Hull.
400
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:17,358
You can see the woman's point.
401
00:25:25,338 --> 00:25:27,818
Wind not favourable. Spirits angry.
402
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:30,018
Wrong day for big decisions.
403
00:25:30,018 --> 00:25:31,558
Give over!
404
00:25:38,278 --> 00:25:41,678
All signs wrong.
You don't want this woman.
405
00:25:41,678 --> 00:25:45,398
We told YOU that!
This is stubborn woman.
406
00:25:45,398 --> 00:25:48,498
You take her, she'll end up
Rosy Hood, you be Maid Marion.
407
00:25:48,498 --> 00:25:50,858
Get rid of her.
408
00:25:50,858 --> 00:25:51,958
Not easy.
409
00:25:51,958 --> 00:25:54,038
Your wife keeps
threatening to leave.
410
00:25:54,038 --> 00:25:55,698
You must know
a trick or two.
411
00:25:55,698 --> 00:25:57,738
Wife lies.
412
00:25:57,738 --> 00:26:00,218
I'm best thing ever happened to her.
413
00:26:00,218 --> 00:26:03,918
Wives are immovable. Trust me.
414
00:26:03,918 --> 00:26:06,198
Just get rid
of the Bride of Dracula.
415
00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:12,918
This man no good for you.
Not compatible.
416
00:26:12,918 --> 00:26:15,218
He will be
when I've finished with him.
417
00:26:15,218 --> 00:26:18,738
Too weak for you. Skinny. No muscle.
418
00:26:18,738 --> 00:26:20,258
Weaker than that.
419
00:26:20,258 --> 00:26:22,198
Has to stay indoors when it rains.
420
00:26:22,198 --> 00:26:25,178
I've seen dead people
with a better future.
421
00:26:25,178 --> 00:26:26,698
(That's overdoing it.)
422
00:26:26,698 --> 00:26:30,898
And he has no control over his legs.
423
00:26:30,898 --> 00:26:33,238
They take him anywhere.
424
00:26:33,238 --> 00:26:37,738
You need strong man, fearless,
heart full of adventure.
425
00:26:37,738 --> 00:26:39,198
You need Flyboy.
426
00:26:41,298 --> 00:26:43,338
"DAMBUSTERS" THEME PLAYS
427
00:26:43,338 --> 00:26:45,338
That's more like it!
428
00:26:45,338 --> 00:26:48,158
Does he have his own plane?
429
00:26:48,158 --> 00:26:52,198
If you follow him, he'll lead you
straight to where the action is.
430
00:26:59,378 --> 00:27:00,678
Barry!
431
00:27:03,838 --> 00:27:06,258
I'm sorry, Barry,
but I have tell you.
432
00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,958
I've found someone else.
433
00:27:10,658 --> 00:27:12,938
Every good wish, Miss Davenport.
434
00:27:12,938 --> 00:27:14,398
Thank you, Barry.
435
00:27:16,258 --> 00:27:18,258
CRASH!
436
00:27:27,018 --> 00:27:29,538
Oh, Marina!
437
00:27:29,538 --> 00:27:32,918
Oh, Howard!
438
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:35,238
Are you always going
to bring a friend?
439
00:27:46,218 --> 00:27:48,178
Here you are. Ta.
440
00:27:49,238 --> 00:27:52,258
Hey, do you think
Howard will be all right?
441
00:27:52,258 --> 00:27:54,138
With a bodyguard like that?
442
00:27:54,138 --> 00:27:55,918
He's never been safer.
443
00:27:55,918 --> 00:27:58,198
She's got a grip,
I'll tell you that.
444
00:27:58,198 --> 00:28:01,398
I still haven't got the use
back in this bow finger.
445
00:28:01,398 --> 00:28:04,018
You're handling that pint
with your usual skill.
446
00:28:04,018 --> 00:28:05,618
I'm running on instinct.
447
00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:07,578
Billy on automatic pilot.
448
00:28:07,578 --> 00:28:09,038
Pint flies itself.
449
00:28:10,698 --> 00:28:13,178
Speaking of pilots,
450
00:28:13,178 --> 00:28:15,318
I think our intrepid aviator
451
00:28:15,318 --> 00:28:18,738
has got himself a couple
of fighters on his tail!
452
00:28:29,678 --> 00:28:32,718
Well, he wanted
more excitement.
453
00:28:32,718 --> 00:28:36,078
I bet he wishes
he was safely back in his apron.
454
00:28:36,078 --> 00:28:38,518
I always think he looked well
in his apron.
455
00:28:38,518 --> 00:28:40,498
He should wear parachute
with apron.
456
00:28:40,498 --> 00:28:41,638
Cover all angles.
457
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:44,938
He has angles you'd like
to see covered in a parachute.
458
00:28:50,918 --> 00:28:53,858
Ah, it's nice
to see him firmly back
459
00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:56,098
under Air Traffic Control.
460
00:28:56,148 --> 00:29:00,698
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