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1
00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:10,182
Are we getting too old, Billy?
2
00:00:10,182 --> 00:00:12,142
Too set in our ways...
3
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,982
losing that playful edge?
4
00:00:15,422 --> 00:00:17,102
No.
5
00:00:17,102 --> 00:00:20,062
Are you sure about that?
6
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,062
Trust me.
7
00:00:22,062 --> 00:00:24,542
Fair enough.
8
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:01,662
Here. I've done a bit of baking.
9
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,902
You? Baking? Just baking.
10
00:01:04,902 --> 00:01:06,542
It's not like I'm cross-dressing.
11
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:10,242
Nobody's ever baked me a bun.
12
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,342
I shan't tell if you don't.
13
00:01:12,342 --> 00:01:13,402
It's just a bun.
14
00:01:13,402 --> 00:01:16,022
It's not going to light up and catch
you in your nightie.
15
00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:17,742
And nobody else is either.
16
00:01:22,342 --> 00:01:26,182
A bit light on fat, but quite tasty.
17
00:01:26,182 --> 00:01:27,902
I know what I am,
but what about the bun?
18
00:01:30,802 --> 00:01:33,742
I want the plate back.
19
00:02:14,422 --> 00:02:16,022
Morning, Howard.
20
00:02:16,022 --> 00:02:17,502
Morning.
21
00:02:25,542 --> 00:02:27,482
And where were you going?
22
00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:30,142
You notice I used the past tense.
23
00:02:30,142 --> 00:02:32,342
I was just saying good morning.
24
00:02:32,342 --> 00:02:34,562
On tiptoe?
25
00:02:34,562 --> 00:02:39,062
You have to move like a panther
to say good morning?
26
00:02:39,062 --> 00:02:41,642
It wasn't tiptoe.
27
00:02:41,642 --> 00:02:46,342
It's an exercise I'm doing
to strengthen my calf muscles.
28
00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:53,822
You point your
toe and begin to apply a gentle pressure to your calveus maximus.
29
00:02:53,822 --> 00:02:56,502
It's a very underrated muscle.
30
00:02:56,502 --> 00:02:57,982
Enough!
31
00:02:59,842 --> 00:03:05,242
Before somebody applies a
gentle pressure to your throat.
32
00:03:21,942 --> 00:03:24,422
If the world was bigger...
33
00:03:24,422 --> 00:03:27,062
if the globe was rounder...
34
00:03:27,062 --> 00:03:30,342
would that mean we'd have twice as
far to go to get to Huddersfield?
35
00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:34,802
On foot or by bus?
36
00:03:36,402 --> 00:03:38,742
Are we allowed shortcuts?
37
00:03:38,742 --> 00:03:40,502
And would it be a Sunday?
38
00:03:42,562 --> 00:03:45,802
I don't think you lot are
ready for a serious conversation.
39
00:03:49,702 --> 00:03:53,222
Hey up! It's the Overnight Express.
40
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:59,222
Bravely through storm and
flood with a load of... what is it?
41
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:01,082
None of our business is what it is.
42
00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:05,462
Although I suppose you
might as well tell us, Tom.
43
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,702
Tha's as curious as we are.
44
00:04:07,702 --> 00:04:10,722
Nobody's as curious you are.
45
00:04:10,722 --> 00:04:13,862
We're not allowed to
give out any information.
46
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:19,102
It's a breach of our insurance
arrangements...unless somebody buys us a drink first.
47
00:04:19,102 --> 00:04:20,702
Ask Smiler.
48
00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,582
Smiler can't keep a secret.
49
00:04:22,582 --> 00:04:25,502
I don't think I've ever had a secret.
50
00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:31,342
It's lot eight. That's all we know.
51
00:04:31,342 --> 00:04:33,782
Lot eight. Oh, right.
52
00:04:33,782 --> 00:04:35,702
Well, that's it, then.
53
00:04:35,702 --> 00:04:38,622
Now we all know. Lot eight.
54
00:04:44,462 --> 00:04:47,802
How high standards do you have?
55
00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:50,242
Well...
if we're speaking personally...
56
00:04:50,242 --> 00:04:52,222
very high standards.
57
00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:56,242
Although I'm not saying
they couldn't be flexible under certain conditions.
58
00:04:56,242 --> 00:04:58,082
You cater for beginners?
59
00:04:58,082 --> 00:05:02,482
Oh, Mr Entwistle,
I'm sure you're way past beginner.
60
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:05,662
Been looking long time for...
Don't tell me. Let me guess.
61
00:05:05,662 --> 00:05:08,262
Something eastern... mystical...
62
00:05:08,262 --> 00:05:10,962
passionate... romantic?
63
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:15,082
Really basic maintenance
handbook for me truck.
64
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,282
With pictures.
Suitable for beginners.
65
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:19,882
You're quite sure?
I'm better at mystical...
66
00:05:19,882 --> 00:05:21,482
passionate... romantic.
67
00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:23,382
Maybe you could learn.
68
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,822
Expensive truck. Always in garage.
69
00:05:25,822 --> 00:05:27,702
I need to learn own repairs.
70
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,462
We could learn together.
71
00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:32,642
That's really quite a good idea.
72
00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:35,402
I ought to know more
about my own vehicle.
73
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,862
I wonder if one could grow
passionate about motor maintenance?
74
00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:42,642
Good chance if we start first
on mine. You can change wheel?
75
00:05:44,222 --> 00:05:46,282
You'd let me do that?
76
00:05:46,282 --> 00:05:50,562
In Hull... letting woman change
wheel... big mark of respect.
77
00:05:58,262 --> 00:06:00,062
Sounds hollow.
78
00:06:00,062 --> 00:06:03,182
Mine too. I think it's snack time.
79
00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:04,702
It sounds empty.
80
00:06:04,702 --> 00:06:06,762
I know the feeling.
81
00:06:06,762 --> 00:06:08,822
If it's empty, you've been robbed.
82
00:06:08,822 --> 00:06:11,462
We haven't been robbed.
It's never been unwrapped.
83
00:06:11,462 --> 00:06:13,502
I know the feeling.
84
00:06:13,502 --> 00:06:19,282
There's a whole world inside of me
that nobody's ever bothered to open up.
85
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:22,582
That's because you go round looking
as if you were closed.
86
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,402
I'm working on him.
87
00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:27,282
I'm trying to put him
in touch with his gypsy.
88
00:06:27,282 --> 00:06:29,382
How do you know
she'll do him any good?
89
00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:32,282
I know because she's me.
90
00:06:32,282 --> 00:06:35,022
Where's your earrings?
They're in the wash.
91
00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:40,542
If you've got so much second sight,
have a guess as to what's inside these wrappings.
92
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:42,502
They're crates of some sort.
93
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,582
Come on you two, what's inside?
94
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:46,262
We don't know what it is.
95
00:06:46,262 --> 00:06:49,262
Auntie just said fetch lot eight.
96
00:06:49,262 --> 00:06:52,722
And when we got there, there it was.
97
00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:54,522
Wrapped up already.
98
00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:58,082
We asked the warehouse bloke
what it was. What did he say?
99
00:06:58,082 --> 00:06:59,542
He said it's lot eight.
100
00:07:07,402 --> 00:07:12,302
Actually, I was thinking along
the lines of a bit of jewellery.
101
00:07:12,302 --> 00:07:17,482
Jewellery won't save your life
when you're lost out on the moors in the thick fog. The moors?
102
00:07:17,482 --> 00:07:21,382
If anyone's been talking, I go
out there for recreational purposes.
103
00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:23,922
You can go anywhere
now with security.
104
00:07:23,922 --> 00:07:27,082
Now you've got your Portable
Folding Stove and Teamaker.
105
00:07:27,082 --> 00:07:29,902
You'll be amazed
how you managed without it.
106
00:07:29,902 --> 00:07:36,062
I am. I'm amazed how I've managed
to get through life without a Portable Folding Stove and Teamaker.
107
00:07:36,062 --> 00:07:41,562
Being poorly equipped
is a casual modern attitude that gets girls into trouble.
108
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:45,122
I wish getting into trouble
was as easy as people think.
109
00:07:47,782 --> 00:07:50,022
What on earth's that?
110
00:07:50,022 --> 00:07:53,382
That's lot eight.
111
00:07:53,382 --> 00:07:55,382
Hey up, what's tha' got there, lass?
112
00:07:57,142 --> 00:07:59,102
Well, it's not jewellery.
113
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:15,082
Can we help you unload this, er...
whatever it is?
114
00:08:15,082 --> 00:08:18,222
It better be lot eight.
According to the catalogue...
115
00:08:18,222 --> 00:08:20,382
four useful containers.
116
00:08:20,382 --> 00:08:22,782
I know a bargain when I see one.
117
00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:33,702
What is it?
118
00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:35,182
It's not fatal, is it?
119
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:38,962
You look married, Barry.
120
00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:41,422
Are you surprised?
We've been married for...
121
00:08:41,422 --> 00:08:42,962
ooh, how many years?
122
00:08:42,962 --> 00:08:45,742
We promised each other
we'd never look married.
123
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,742
We swore we'd always keep it fresh.
124
00:08:47,742 --> 00:08:49,362
We were young and daft.
125
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,082
I used to believe
everything I read on the label.
126
00:08:52,082 --> 00:08:55,102
We said we'd always
keep some sparkle.
127
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,742
I've kept some sparkle.
128
00:08:56,742 --> 00:08:59,802
Where? Where's your sparkle?
129
00:08:59,802 --> 00:09:02,362
Well, not in the morning, Glenda.
Be fair.
130
00:09:02,362 --> 00:09:07,582
And I don't appreciate your not
knowing how long we've been married.
131
00:09:13,242 --> 00:09:16,262
You're collecting memories
of old times.
132
00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:18,222
Collecting. Not buying.
133
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:20,862
I've got lots of stuff
to jog your memory.
134
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:24,522
Yes, well my memory's given
up jogging. Its knees were going.
135
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:28,522
You're getting better at this.
You used to be a pushover.
136
00:09:28,522 --> 00:09:31,642
If you're thinking of going
into top gear I should warn you
137
00:09:31,642 --> 00:09:35,702
that I'm wearing a crucifix
and I'm ready to eat garlic.
138
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:37,422
Then you'll need a garlic crusher.
139
00:09:37,422 --> 00:09:39,242
I've got just the thing.
140
00:09:39,242 --> 00:09:42,242
Yes, I think I'll go and
help them unwrap lot eight.
141
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:45,142
There's enough of them unwrapping
lot eight.
142
00:09:45,142 --> 00:09:47,542
You should stay here
and chat for a minute.
143
00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:50,402
Oh, ho, ho. You don't chat.
144
00:09:50,402 --> 00:09:51,982
You spin webs.
145
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,942
You must need something.
146
00:09:53,942 --> 00:09:55,802
Everybody needs something.
147
00:09:55,802 --> 00:09:59,262
Yes, well I need to get
away as soon as possible.
148
00:09:59,262 --> 00:10:01,862
What about a greenhouse?
149
00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:04,722
What? You're writing your memoirs.
150
00:10:04,722 --> 00:10:08,502
Shakespeare always wrote
in a greenhouse.
151
00:10:08,502 --> 00:10:11,062
Oh. Not many people know that.
152
00:10:11,062 --> 00:10:12,722
Made all the difference, he said.
153
00:10:12,722 --> 00:10:16,022
Couldn't write worth tuppence
till he got that greenhouse.
154
00:10:18,682 --> 00:10:21,302
I think you'd better come
and have a look at lot eight.
155
00:10:21,302 --> 00:10:23,262
Can't you bring it through here?
156
00:10:23,262 --> 00:10:26,302
There are four of them.
157
00:10:26,302 --> 00:10:28,702
Are they all the same? Yes.
158
00:10:28,702 --> 00:10:30,162
Well, bring one.
159
00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:37,342
Norman Clegg's a chicken!
160
00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:40,302
HE CLUCKS
161
00:10:45,642 --> 00:10:48,942
You're going to have some trouble
shifting this lot.
162
00:10:48,942 --> 00:10:50,862
There's a customer for everything.
163
00:10:53,842 --> 00:10:57,142
I don't think you'll get much
impulse buying for one of these.
164
00:11:00,573 --> 00:11:03,413
I'm ready with the wheelbrace,
Mr Entwistle.
165
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:07,713
OK. Figure one says "Undo nuts,
turning anti-clockwise."
166
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,293
SHE GRUNTS
167
00:11:15,313 --> 00:11:16,893
Book good.
168
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,733
Books are good, Mr Entwistle.
169
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,913
It's my mission in life
to make people see that.
170
00:11:22,913 --> 00:11:25,273
You good on wheelbrace.
171
00:11:27,673 --> 00:11:30,133
Thank you, Mr Entwistle.
172
00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:34,833
That's the nicest thing
anyone's said to me for ages.
173
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,613
Next bit looks good.
You'll enjoy next bit.
174
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,233
Do you know...I believe I shall!
175
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:52,293
You see what the problem is.
176
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:57,893
People tend to think of
these containers as having only one purpose.
177
00:11:57,893 --> 00:11:59,833
Off you go, lads.
178
00:12:05,453 --> 00:12:08,473
Now. A fancy paint job.
179
00:12:08,473 --> 00:12:10,033
A number on the side.
180
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,893
She'd be a racing trolley.
181
00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:13,413
They'll all want one.
182
00:12:13,413 --> 00:12:16,673
And when the time comes
they won't need a hearse.
183
00:12:16,673 --> 00:12:18,473
They've got their own transport.
184
00:12:18,473 --> 00:12:20,953
It could do with a
bit of streamlining.
185
00:12:20,953 --> 00:12:24,013
No, that's Alvin.
186
00:12:24,013 --> 00:12:26,953
It looks like a
thing of racing beauty.
187
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:32,333
I bet if you was to park
this in a disabled space they wouldn't even check your badge.
188
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:38,133
In the proper hands,
what we've got here is a winner.
189
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:42,733
I never thought I'd see anybody
leap into one of them as quick.
190
00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:44,453
Right, now you, Billy.
191
00:12:44,453 --> 00:12:47,913
Me? Well, she's a two seater.
192
00:12:47,913 --> 00:12:49,393
There's a novelty.
193
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:54,833
Right, let's be off then.
194
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:58,033
Can't lie about
in your coffin all day.
195
00:12:58,033 --> 00:13:00,673
Right. Tom, Smiler, you push.
196
00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:02,213
Hang on.
197
00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:04,593
How come we always
get the heavy work?
198
00:13:04,593 --> 00:13:06,973
Now just look at it reasonably.
199
00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:11,133
I joined the police force
specifically to avoid manual labour.
200
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:14,353
You can't expect me
to spoil a lifetime's effort.
201
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:19,473
I think I was born for hard labour.
202
00:13:19,473 --> 00:13:22,133
Tha's got just the face for it.
203
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:27,453
We call on you because of all your
vast experience with the handcart.
204
00:13:27,453 --> 00:13:29,173
Will somebody push?
205
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:33,313
It's no good just sitting here. Some
fool might come along and bury us.
206
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,953
Hey, not in a two seater, surely.
207
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,893
It's no good on the flat. Er...
208
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:50,233
I'm sorry, but I'm not
jumping fences in this thing.
209
00:13:52,173 --> 00:13:54,553
What we need a spot, er...
of downhill.
210
00:13:57,593 --> 00:13:59,873
ALL: Uh-oh...
211
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:03,733
He is, isn't he?
212
00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,793
He's looking married.
213
00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,393
He is married.
214
00:14:07,393 --> 00:14:09,393
He'd better be married.
215
00:14:09,393 --> 00:14:11,673
Your mother would have disowned you.
216
00:14:11,673 --> 00:14:15,153
Not only married,
I'm very embarrassed.
217
00:14:15,153 --> 00:14:17,333
You don't have to look married.
218
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:20,013
We promised each other
we'd never look married.
219
00:14:20,013 --> 00:14:22,333
You don't have to tell everybody.
220
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:26,073
Well, what's the point of
getting married if you don't want to look married?
221
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:30,793
If you start looking married
it's a sign that the excitement's gone out of it.
222
00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,153
BOTH: What excitement?
223
00:14:35,153 --> 00:14:36,493
You see?
224
00:14:36,493 --> 00:14:38,373
You can't even remember it.
225
00:14:38,373 --> 00:14:39,953
That's terrible.
226
00:14:39,953 --> 00:14:42,513
Never knowing the excitement.
227
00:14:42,513 --> 00:14:44,793
We've known excitement.
228
00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:47,273
Of course we've known excitement.
229
00:14:47,273 --> 00:14:49,893
Sid broke his ankle.
And we had a wheel
230
00:14:49,893 --> 00:14:52,313
come off the sidecar once.
231
00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:56,013
Oh. Sid was a menace
with the gas boiler.
232
00:14:56,013 --> 00:14:57,893
Tell me, Barry...
233
00:14:57,893 --> 00:14:59,813
in front of these witnesses...
234
00:14:59,813 --> 00:15:02,173
that our excitement's not gone.
235
00:15:02,173 --> 00:15:04,353
Glenda!
236
00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:06,493
Can we discuss this privately?
237
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,393
You can take that straight out.
238
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:18,513
Be reasonable.
We've left its wheels outside.
239
00:15:18,513 --> 00:15:23,093
What do you think that's going
to do for customer confidence?
240
00:15:23,093 --> 00:15:26,393
Who did they tip
out to get their hands on that?
241
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:31,393
It's just a trolley. I've
always said he was off his trolley.
242
00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:34,313
Get it out. We can't leave
it outside to get nicked.
243
00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:37,193
It's part of a very
desirable racing trolley.
244
00:15:37,193 --> 00:15:39,293
Who d'you think's
going to steal one of those?
245
00:15:39,293 --> 00:15:41,913
It's an A-class trolley.
246
00:15:41,913 --> 00:15:43,913
It's a funny trolley.
247
00:15:43,913 --> 00:15:45,573
It's a two-seater.
248
00:15:45,573 --> 00:15:49,313
Does tha' fancy a spin?
Oh! Get out!
249
00:15:49,313 --> 00:15:52,273
We just need a few
sandwiches to take with us.
250
00:15:52,273 --> 00:15:54,213
Well, you'll not get them here.
251
00:15:54,213 --> 00:15:57,913
I don't cater for funerals. Out!
252
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,773
I'll go with ya. Oh, Barry!
253
00:15:59,773 --> 00:16:01,993
You wanted me to seek excitement.
254
00:16:01,993 --> 00:16:04,153
Look after him, Mr Truelove.
255
00:16:04,153 --> 00:16:07,013
He's all I've got in
the world to care for...
256
00:16:07,013 --> 00:16:09,513
except the new fitted kitchen.
257
00:16:11,853 --> 00:16:14,993
We never had fitted kitchens
in our day.
258
00:16:14,993 --> 00:16:17,013
We just had kitchens.
259
00:16:17,013 --> 00:16:19,473
They've got fitted bathrooms now.
260
00:16:19,473 --> 00:16:22,453
It's still dirty water
that goes down the plug.
261
00:16:30,153 --> 00:16:33,093
You, you...
you've got oil on your cheek.
262
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:38,493
I like it.
263
00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:41,933
Did you see that? Straight in.
Chatting up the ladies.
264
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:44,873
You've got oil on your cheek.
265
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,773
I like it.
He owes it all to the gypsy.
266
00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:56,013
RATTLING
267
00:16:56,013 --> 00:16:58,673
I wish I'd bought jewellery. No, no.
268
00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:04,553
We'll enjoy a refreshing cup of
tea when we're out among the hills.
269
00:17:04,553 --> 00:17:06,293
Out among the hills.
270
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,953
With no jewellery.
271
00:17:07,953 --> 00:17:11,733
Just us and a Portable
Folding Stove and Teamaker.
272
00:17:13,653 --> 00:17:21,193
Now shut up! I don't wish to
hear another word from a Portable Folding Stove and Teamaker.
273
00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:23,533
You sound very determined.
274
00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:27,253
Get me roused and I'm
hell on wheels, Howard.
275
00:17:28,853 --> 00:17:34,133
If you're in a bad mood,
maybe we didn't ought to go too far.
276
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,733
Something else to look forward to.
277
00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:46,773
Why are we creeping about
through all the back ways?
278
00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,953
Only till we get out of town.
279
00:17:48,953 --> 00:17:51,493
We're drawing too much
attention in the street.
280
00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:06,653
Right.
Bung it over while it's still quiet.
281
00:18:09,313 --> 00:18:11,833
CAR SPEEDS BY
282
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,413
CRASH
283
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:17,213
Back, back, back, back, back.
284
00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:25,333
It seems a lot of effort,
285
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:29,333
but once we find some quiet,
lonely place, we'll be able...
286
00:18:31,573 --> 00:18:34,533
We'll be able to what, Howard?
287
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:37,353
Don't keep a girl in suspense.
288
00:18:37,353 --> 00:18:42,953
We'll be able to make
a cup of tea with our sandwiches.
289
00:18:42,953 --> 00:18:44,533
Oh, bliss!
290
00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:47,393
That's really living on the edge.
291
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:50,133
That rings my bell, Howard.
292
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,933
DING-DING!
293
00:18:56,553 --> 00:19:00,253
He's going
to a Country and Western night?
294
00:19:00,253 --> 00:19:02,173
It's his new interest.
295
00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:03,993
He's coming with me.
296
00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:06,973
You'll be wanting a few
cowboy items then.
297
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:10,853
I thought we'd wear one of those
bootlace sort of ties.
298
00:19:10,853 --> 00:19:13,973
That's going a bit reckless,
isn't it? A whole tie.
299
00:19:15,773 --> 00:19:18,793
A belt. A cowboy belt.
300
00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,893
What are you wearing?
Let's have a look at your belt.
301
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,873
I'm not wearing a belt.
302
00:19:22,873 --> 00:19:25,473
They didn't wear braces.
303
00:19:25,473 --> 00:19:30,733
They couldn't walk around with six
guns dangling from their braces.
304
00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:35,773
Look, I'll lend you my belt for
a minute and you'll see how much more cowboy it looks.
305
00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:39,093
Right-oh. I'll lend you my braces.
306
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:40,813
I don't want your braces.
307
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,733
My trousers are self-supporting.
308
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:44,953
So why are you wearing a belt?
309
00:19:44,953 --> 00:19:46,693
It's a fashion accessory.
310
00:19:46,693 --> 00:19:50,113
I didn't know cowboys
wore fashion accessories.
311
00:19:50,113 --> 00:19:53,613
You must be joking.
Tooled leather boots.
312
00:19:53,613 --> 00:19:56,473
Silver buckles. Fancy shirts.
313
00:19:56,473 --> 00:20:01,253
I don't think they
ever went near any cows.
314
00:20:01,253 --> 00:20:04,733
Bigger buckle. They always
had a fancy silver buckle.
315
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:12,973
Better. We're getting there.
316
00:20:19,693 --> 00:20:21,513
It's just reminded me.
317
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,413
I must defrost that chicken.
318
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,993
It's too conspicuous.
319
00:20:35,993 --> 00:20:40,073
Trolley's not going to do it. We
need to find some other use for it.
320
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,613
It's a great trolley.
321
00:20:41,613 --> 00:20:46,253
It's a very good trolley, but it
just excites too much attention.
322
00:20:46,253 --> 00:20:50,293
I don't know why we're walking it.
We could ride it home.
323
00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:52,373
I was thinking that.
324
00:20:52,373 --> 00:20:53,973
Forget it.
325
00:20:53,973 --> 00:20:55,613
We're safer on foot.
326
00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,173
I'll ride it.
327
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,833
I came in search of excitement.
328
00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:03,473
Good on you, Barry.
They're getting too windy, this lot.
329
00:21:03,473 --> 00:21:07,993
How dare you say that to a
direct descendant of Robin Hood?
330
00:21:07,993 --> 00:21:10,713
Oh, that's enough argy bargy.
Come on, the three of you get in.
331
00:21:10,713 --> 00:21:12,133
Eh?
332
00:21:17,913 --> 00:21:23,293
Have you noticed,
Howard, that something always seems to put obstacles in our way?
333
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:25,613
I've noticed.
334
00:21:25,613 --> 00:21:27,573
It's all right this morning.
335
00:21:27,573 --> 00:21:29,813
She's gone to the library.
336
00:21:29,813 --> 00:21:34,373
Something more frightening
than Pearl. Bad as that?
337
00:21:34,373 --> 00:21:39,533
Maybe someone
is giving us a warning sign, Howard.
338
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:42,053
Oh, that's just
superstitious nons...
339
00:21:46,173 --> 00:21:50,453
You can't rely on
your memory anymore. Oh, don't.
340
00:21:50,453 --> 00:21:52,793
It's all I've got left to rely on.
341
00:21:52,793 --> 00:21:54,673
There are some things best forgotten.
342
00:21:54,673 --> 00:21:59,533
True. But invariably
it's always the best memories.
343
00:21:59,533 --> 00:22:02,313
I've noticed my Howard
keeps forgetting he's married.
344
00:22:02,313 --> 00:22:05,353
No doubt you keep reminding
him though, don't you?
345
00:22:05,353 --> 00:22:07,593
Trust me.
346
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,273
You should
tie a knot in his handkerchief.
347
00:22:10,273 --> 00:22:13,413
In his neck'd work faster.
348
00:22:13,413 --> 00:22:17,253
I used to be able to
remember every detail. Well, you don't miss much now.
349
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:22,513
I forgot the name of him
who's been creeping in to see her at number eighteen.
350
00:22:22,513 --> 00:22:24,013
Broderick.
351
00:22:24,013 --> 00:22:26,713
You don't miss much, either, do you?
352
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:28,433
Broderick?
353
00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:30,433
Neville? That's the one.
354
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,293
From Wilby Street.
355
00:22:32,293 --> 00:22:34,273
They moved from Upperthong.
356
00:22:34,273 --> 00:22:36,073
His mother was a Paling.
357
00:22:36,073 --> 00:22:39,133
Excessively fond of flock wallpaper.
358
00:22:39,133 --> 00:22:41,813
She had an uncle who died at sea.
359
00:22:41,813 --> 00:22:44,373
At least that's what
they told everybody.
360
00:22:44,373 --> 00:22:48,273
But we all knew that he'd run
off with a bus conductress.
361
00:22:48,273 --> 00:22:50,733
What number was it?
362
00:22:50,733 --> 00:22:56,453
What? The bus. Well,
you remembered everything else.
363
00:22:56,453 --> 00:22:59,953
Oh, I would have had all that on the
tip of me tongue at one time of day.
364
00:22:59,953 --> 00:23:03,873
Not exactly at the
back of your throat now.
365
00:23:03,873 --> 00:23:08,013
You see how tricky life
was for me in those days.
366
00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:12,473
The dangers that used to be
lurking behind every curtain.
367
00:23:12,473 --> 00:23:14,833
I'm not the woman I was.
368
00:23:14,833 --> 00:23:16,393
You're doing a good impression.
369
00:23:16,393 --> 00:23:20,093
If I go shopping these
days I have to make a list.
370
00:23:20,093 --> 00:23:22,573
I always use a list.
371
00:23:22,573 --> 00:23:24,833
I think a list is a good idea.
372
00:23:24,833 --> 00:23:26,953
It is if you don't forget it.
373
00:23:26,953 --> 00:23:29,833
Oh, there's not much
you forget that matters.
374
00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:31,593
You remember everybody's birthdays.
375
00:23:31,593 --> 00:23:35,373
Yes, I like to keep
a check on who's older than me.
376
00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:38,753
I'm damned if I want to be
the oldest person I know.
377
00:23:38,753 --> 00:23:42,393
My Barry can't remember
how long we've been married.
378
00:23:42,393 --> 00:23:45,873
As long as he remembers
you're married, you're winning.
379
00:23:45,873 --> 00:23:49,313
The trick is to make
sure they remember.
380
00:23:49,313 --> 00:23:53,213
In my experience, sooner
or later they always remember.
381
00:23:53,213 --> 00:23:56,653
You can only distract them so long.
382
00:23:56,653 --> 00:23:59,373
On my budget, anyway.
383
00:23:59,373 --> 00:24:02,133
Once you've worn them into
that nervous, guilty look
384
00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:05,253
you've got yourself the
beginning of a stable relationship.
385
00:24:06,853 --> 00:24:12,653
I once almost had a relationship in
a stables. Said he was a trainer.
386
00:24:12,653 --> 00:24:15,353
Starts waving this little whip.
387
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:17,793
I thought,
"Ooh, I'm out of here, girl."
388
00:24:17,793 --> 00:24:20,073
I don't care how
many winners he's had.
389
00:24:20,073 --> 00:24:24,693
Surely there's more to marriage
than making your husbands nervous.
390
00:24:24,693 --> 00:24:30,573
Yes, there is, but if you keep
them nervous, there's not as much as there otherwise might be.
391
00:24:30,573 --> 00:24:34,773
You must have loved your husbands,
surely? There's no "must" about it.
392
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:37,033
It took a lot of work.
393
00:24:37,033 --> 00:24:39,773
Of course we loved them.
394
00:24:39,773 --> 00:24:43,433
There are places a wife finds
herself applying liniment to
395
00:24:43,433 --> 00:24:47,053
that she couldn't possibly handle
in the absence of great affection.
396
00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:49,033
No way.
397
00:24:49,033 --> 00:24:51,193
Needs a strong commitment.
398
00:24:51,193 --> 00:24:53,493
Well, I don't want my Barry nervous.
399
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,853
I want my Barry to keep his sparkle.
400
00:24:55,853 --> 00:25:00,373
I always used to make my Wally
leave his outside with his pigeons.
401
00:25:06,433 --> 00:25:11,293
Enough's enough.
Let's take a breather.
402
00:25:14,913 --> 00:25:17,333
'Ere y'are. This'll do.
403
00:25:38,393 --> 00:25:39,733
CRASH
404
00:25:52,793 --> 00:25:56,393
Would you care to explain, sir, what
you're doing out here with a coffin?
405
00:25:56,393 --> 00:25:59,113
Oh, that! That's not mine.
406
00:25:59,113 --> 00:26:01,333
That belongs to, er...
407
00:26:07,893 --> 00:26:09,893
Claims he saw a coffin.
408
00:26:14,313 --> 00:26:16,313
Question is, what's he got in it?
409
00:26:16,313 --> 00:26:19,113
There's nothing in it.
410
00:26:19,113 --> 00:26:22,113
Take a look. Me?
411
00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:23,573
I'm looking after him.
412
00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:28,733
I'll look after him.
413
00:26:31,753 --> 00:26:33,593
You look after him.
414
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:35,173
He saw it first.
415
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,233
You're right.
416
00:26:39,233 --> 00:26:41,953
He saw it first.
417
00:26:41,953 --> 00:26:44,013
Let him take a look at what's in it.
418
00:26:50,613 --> 00:26:52,813
So, there we have it.
419
00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:54,813
Alternative use number two.
420
00:26:56,433 --> 00:27:01,333
She's leaking.
Well, if tha's going to drown you're in the ideal vessel for it.
421
00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:04,533
Shouldn't we be doing something?
422
00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:06,613
I think the lad's right.
423
00:27:06,613 --> 00:27:09,573
We should be removing our hats.
424
00:27:11,813 --> 00:27:14,033
Didn't we ought to rescue him?
425
00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:16,073
That's a yes!
426
00:27:16,073 --> 00:27:20,253
Starting from the principle
that there's no point in us all getting wet...
427
00:27:49,913 --> 00:27:52,733
I could do with a hand
with the milking,
428
00:27:52,733 --> 00:27:55,813
but I don't expect you
to get dressed up like that.
429
00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:17,173
Why are you all wet?
430
00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:19,813
I'm perfectly dry.
431
00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:22,013
It's all in your mind.
432
00:28:22,013 --> 00:28:24,453
You find me irresistible when wet.
433
00:28:50,653 --> 00:28:52,893
I'm sorry I got it wrong, love.
434
00:28:52,893 --> 00:28:55,953
I thought we'd been married
longer than that.
435
00:28:55,953 --> 00:28:58,153
Come to bed, Barry.
436
00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:00,893
And bring your sparkle!
437
00:29:03,873 --> 00:29:05,853
Oh, Barry!
438
00:29:05,903 --> 00:29:10,453
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