Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:23,840
Can I just summarise
the situation here?
2
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:29,220
We've just seen Billy Hardcastle
disappear up a tree.
3
00:00:29,220 --> 00:00:31,980
Yes, I noticed that.
4
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:37,480
Carrying what, to the casual
observer, looked like a length of rope with him.
5
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,160
Length of rope. Yes, saw that.
6
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,540
Hey...oh, blooming heck!
7
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:48,300
Don't you think we ought to enquire
what his plans are?
8
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,240
He seemed perfectly cheerful.
9
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,540
While climbing up a tree
at his age?
10
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:58,080
That could be construed
as another bad sign.
11
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:02,440
How are you doing up that tree,
Billy? I'm doing great...
12
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,900
apart from a bit of trouble
with this damn great knot!
13
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:11,240
Truly was wondering why
you needed a great big knot, Billy.
14
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,240
To take the strain! A bloke
can't go dangling from a thread!
15
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:19,080
Dangling!
I wish he hadn't said "dangling"!
16
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,400
Clegg was wondering what you plan
to do with that rope, Billy.
17
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,940
Do? I'm going to swing from it!
18
00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:30,960
I knew it! Don't do it, Billy!
It can be dangerous!
19
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,620
Ha ha ha! I laugh at danger!
20
00:01:33,620 --> 00:01:37,860
Or I would, if I could fix
this chuffing knot!
21
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,940
I'm going to swing to yon tree
over there.
22
00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:45,280
As performed by Errol Flynn
in my favourite motion picture!
23
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:49,140
Me and Errol Flynn! People
have remarked on the resemblance!
24
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:53,340
Wasn't he any good with knots,
either?
25
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:58,080
They both have a moustache
and a taste for strong drink.
26
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,520
Ha! Geronimo!
27
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,620
Ahhh!
28
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:07,060
Oh! Oh! Oh!
29
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,540
(Is she there?)
She's gone back inside.
30
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:21,700
If she sees me, she feeds me!
I'm being hand-reared by Mrs Batty!
31
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:25,980
I'm dreading the thought of
Christmas! You should refuse it!
32
00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:30,780
She's only being kind. Not to me!
She thinks I don't feed you!
33
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:35,360
Hey! Morning, Mrs Batty!
34
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,160
He's looking thin.
That's his natural shape!
35
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,700
Are you sure
you're feeding him properly?
36
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:47,060
I'm feeding him fine!
I hear your late husband was thin.
37
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:53,300
I'll admit to him being late,
but I'm blessed if he was thin!
38
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:10,460
Do you think he enjoyed
his swinging from the trees? He seems quite excited about it.
39
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,980
Can't stand still.
How's it going, Billy?
40
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:17,940
It's been better
since I started breathing again.
41
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:29,360
- What's up with him?
- A little tree trouble.
42
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,920
What kind of problem is tree trouble?
43
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:36,940
Depends where you get it. Where he's
got it, it's a considerable problem.
44
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:41,940
We'd better give him a lift to town.
You two can ride in the back with the vending machine.
45
00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:46,140
Vending machine?
What vending machine?
46
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,140
Whoops!
47
00:04:57,260 --> 00:05:01,460
I have to go, Barry. There's
a lot to do for the jumble sale.
48
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,120
Aren't you dressed yet?
49
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:08,140
Why bother? The sun goes out
in a few million years. Everything'll go black.
50
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,760
There'll be only a handful
can afford the electric.
51
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,380
Are you sulking
because I slammed the car door?
52
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:17,840
Such trifles no longer concern...
When did you slam the car door?
53
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,860
You can't spend your day off
sitting around in your dressing gown.
54
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:26,820
It's all there is left. It's either
this or take to the hills and fight for freedom with Mr Hardcastle.
55
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,320
I could be known as the Grey Wolf.
56
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:35,060
You've barely started going grey.
You should let me touch it up.
57
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:37,740
Anyway, what about golf?
58
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:42,860
Ashes. All my golfing dreams
have gone to ashes.
59
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:45,840
I'll never dare to play golf again.
The captain hates me.
60
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,400
Why would he hate you, Barry?
61
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,620
Just when he was about to play
a difficult shot,
62
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:53,560
I was watching and you called me
on my mobile phone.
63
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,660
His ball went straight in the water.
64
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:59,120
If he's sulking,
buy him another ball.
65
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:06,280
I'm an outlaw now. Golfing tradition
permits me to be killed on sight.
66
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,360
Can't you play tennis?
67
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,560
And wear shorts?
Why do you think golf's so popular?
68
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,240
Where else can middle-aged men go
to hide their legs?
69
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:20,780
I'll have to go, Barry. Get shaved.
You can't go to pieces over golf.
70
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,500
People do. All the time.
71
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:30,420
When did you slam the car door?
72
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,680
It's no use making a call from here.
You can't even get a dialling tone!
73
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,720
At least it fell the right way up.
74
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,940
I wish I could say the same.
75
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,340
But has it survived the bump?
Is it going to work?
76
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:20,880
The same thought occurred to me.
Good job I've got this phenomenal constitution.
77
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,040
He really is like Errol Flynn!
78
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,420
We'll soon find out if it works.
Who's got 30p?
79
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:31,780
Don't look at me. This is no time
for diving in your pockets.
80
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:36,060
I lost all my small change while
performing cartwheels recently.
81
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:40,520
Do we get it back
if it doesn't work?
82
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:46,140
Ooh, big spenders(!)
You can't test it out here. Don't you need electric?
83
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:51,740
No, I've modified it. It works
off a gas cylinder and a battery.
84
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:54,760
It's a go-anywhere
vending machine.
85
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,040
BUBBLING AND LOUD WHINE
86
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:23,060
I knew it. It's gone.
It's eaten my 30p.
87
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,320
LOUD RASPBERRY
88
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,780
I get that.
It needs some liver salts.
89
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,280
PHRPRHRPPHHHRRHHT!
90
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,060
Bet you never get it as bad as that.
91
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,180
There you go.
The perfect cuppa. Cracked it.
92
00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:59,514
I don't think we've got a good
position for our stall, Barry.
93
00:08:59,514 --> 00:09:01,614
We're too near a draughty door.
94
00:09:01,614 --> 00:09:04,734
You're not still sitting there,
unshaven?!
95
00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:07,054
I may never shave again.
96
00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:11,054
I may get much more unseemly
in personal habits.
97
00:09:11,054 --> 00:09:13,994
Oh, Barry,
there's more to life than golf.
98
00:09:13,994 --> 00:09:18,634
In a few months, I shall probably
be spitting in the street.
99
00:09:18,634 --> 00:09:23,294
I shall let myself go. I've
been thinking about a few tattoos.
100
00:09:23,294 --> 00:09:27,214
Barry - you're not being tattooed.
101
00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:31,274
Although you do look
dangerously male.
102
00:09:31,274 --> 00:09:36,254
A lot like Marlon Brando
in Streetcar Named Desire.
103
00:09:36,254 --> 00:09:38,054
Shaving days are over, kiddo.
104
00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:42,474
Know what I mean.
You are looking at Mr Anti-Social.
105
00:09:44,614 --> 00:09:50,954
Barry, me mother's outside.
She's on her way in. Ah.
106
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:18,994
You know, I do believe
I've discovered something I could get quite interested in.
107
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,734
You discovered that a long time ago.
108
00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:28,814
I believe I'm feeling the first
stirrings of interest in the sport.
109
00:10:28,814 --> 00:10:32,874
Start any more stirring round here
and I'll confiscate your spoon.
110
00:10:35,374 --> 00:10:40,074
Enjoy the jumble sale.
It's you that ought to be going.
111
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:44,594
Well, you've got more experience
with old cast-offs than any of us.
112
00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:59,594
He does that. One minute he's there,
the next he's...
113
00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:04,334
I think he does it with mirrors.
114
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:20,434
DING-DONG!
115
00:11:27,794 --> 00:11:30,074
DING-DONG!
116
00:11:30,074 --> 00:11:37,194
The matter is now in the hands of my
solicitor. I've been advised not to enter any face-to-face arrangements.
117
00:11:37,194 --> 00:11:42,554
It's me. Barry.
Barry from the building society?
118
00:11:42,554 --> 00:11:43,614
Yes.
119
00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:49,854
Come in, lad. How did you know
I was ready for a personal loan?
120
00:11:49,854 --> 00:11:56,274
Make yourself comfy, lad. There's
scarcely room to write a cheque in here, but I dare say we'll manage.
121
00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:58,294
No, I'm not on business,
Mr Simmonite.
122
00:11:58,294 --> 00:12:00,234
I was looking for some advice.
123
00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:05,134
As an employee of a building society,
Barry, do you see any way
124
00:12:05,134 --> 00:12:09,334
of connecting that advice
with, say, a personal loan?
125
00:12:09,334 --> 00:12:11,094
Not really, Mr Simmonite.
126
00:12:11,094 --> 00:12:15,594
Oh, it's worth a try.
I must be slowing down.
127
00:12:15,594 --> 00:12:22,054
Well, it's not surprising, really,
considering how clogged I am with heavy-duty buns.
128
00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:26,294
Nora Batty's been bunning me silly,
Barry. What can we do for you, lad?
129
00:12:26,294 --> 00:12:31,354
I were just wondering if
your associate Mrs Avery still gave readings about the future.
130
00:12:31,354 --> 00:12:33,374
On a confidential basis.
131
00:12:33,374 --> 00:12:36,974
For a few selected clients.
132
00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:41,594
She advises Tom Cruise, among others,
and he hasn't done so bad, has he?
133
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,854
I'll see if she can squeeze you in.
134
00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:48,274
Oh, hello, petal, can you come down?
135
00:12:48,274 --> 00:12:52,254
Once you've finished
your e-mail to Los Angeles.
136
00:12:54,534 --> 00:12:58,634
Client wants a reading.
Wear your earrings.
137
00:13:03,494 --> 00:13:06,674
Just needs fine tuning, that's all.
Don't we all?
138
00:13:06,674 --> 00:13:11,494
Is it hygienic, Wesley? Should be -
I've blown through every tube.
139
00:13:11,494 --> 00:13:18,974
Does it supply tea
with or without, or are these crunchy little bits of rust compulsory?
140
00:13:18,974 --> 00:13:21,194
Fat-free, aren't they?
141
00:13:21,194 --> 00:13:23,514
Stand back, stand back.
142
00:13:26,494 --> 00:13:29,014
WHIRRING
143
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:30,994
GROANING
144
00:13:38,014 --> 00:13:40,154
Oh, ha ha!
145
00:13:55,514 --> 00:14:01,434
Oh, that's just the thing for an
added attraction to the jumble sale stall this afternoon.
146
00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:04,534
You see what a demand there is.
147
00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:07,014
It'll never replace home cooking.
148
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:10,814
Nobody cooks these days.
They just watch it on television.
149
00:14:11,994 --> 00:14:14,694
I'll deliver. Where do you want it?
150
00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:18,194
Why do you ask?
It jumps off before you get there.
151
00:14:18,194 --> 00:14:20,994
But you'll be there
to stop it this time.
152
00:14:22,314 --> 00:14:25,094
I hate going to jumble sales.
153
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:28,854
I was once mistaken
for the old clothes stall.
154
00:14:28,854 --> 00:14:31,654
Only once?
155
00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:37,034
It's at the Church Hall.
For charity. You'll be expected to put your hands in your pockets.
156
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:41,454
He's had his in ever since
he swung from that tree.
157
00:14:42,694 --> 00:14:47,594
They're still
swinging through trees? Can't be natural. They're not.
158
00:14:47,594 --> 00:14:52,214
They're not natural. Even their
jackets button the wrong way.
159
00:14:53,274 --> 00:14:55,594
I'll consider it as a field test.
160
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:58,414
Maybe that's where
you should test it - in a field.
161
00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:07,034
I see a tall, dark stranger.
162
00:15:07,034 --> 00:15:09,034
Is he the captain?
163
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:12,414
I can't tell you his rank.
It probably is the captain.
164
00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:19,154
It could be the captain. Yes.
I can see it now. It's the captain.
165
00:15:19,154 --> 00:15:21,854
Does he look angry?
166
00:15:25,614 --> 00:15:29,254
Oh yes. He looks angry.
Oh, ye gods!
167
00:15:29,254 --> 00:15:32,954
Wait a minute.
He's looking more cheerful.
168
00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:36,254
I think he's feeling better.
169
00:15:36,254 --> 00:15:39,334
Yes. The captain is feeling better.
170
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:42,614
Is there any indication
why he's feeling better?
171
00:15:42,614 --> 00:15:48,234
I think he's feeling
better because...
172
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:52,054
He's just stabbed you, Barry.
173
00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:54,094
Oh, well, that's it, then.
174
00:15:54,094 --> 00:15:57,294
Wonder what he used?
Probably a number three iron.
175
00:15:57,294 --> 00:16:03,294
No, wait. It's not
because he stabbed you, Barry.
176
00:16:03,294 --> 00:16:06,674
You've done something.
Something that pleased him.
177
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,774
What? What?
178
00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:13,774
What can I have done?
179
00:16:14,254 --> 00:16:18,334
It'll come to you. You've got
to have faith in the stars, Barry.
180
00:16:18,334 --> 00:16:23,214
Speaking of stars,
can you get Tom Cruise's autograph for my Glenda?
181
00:16:41,754 --> 00:16:43,294
SQUEAK-SQUEAK!
182
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,054
There we are.
183
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:06,254
Firstly, let me just say
many thanks to you ladies for all your efforts here.
184
00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:10,314
As you well know,
they're always appreciated.
185
00:17:10,314 --> 00:17:13,694
PRPHRTPHRTHPHHT!
186
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:22,474
I'm...I'm sure you'll all join me
in welcoming our Mrs Endicott,
187
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:26,494
who has kindly agreed to
officially open our little event.
188
00:17:26,494 --> 00:17:30,954
PHRPRHRPHTPHHT!
189
00:17:35,474 --> 00:17:37,074
Turn it off.
190
00:17:37,074 --> 00:17:39,014
How do we turn it off?
191
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:43,114
I don't know how we turn it off.
But we'd better find out.
192
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:51,814
So without more ado,
I ask you to show your appreciation to Mrs Endicott.
193
00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:55,314
PHPHPHRRPHPHRT!
194
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:05,594
Good day to you,
ladies and gentlemen. It gives me great pleasure...
195
00:18:05,594 --> 00:18:09,134
PHRPHTHPRHPHPHPHTHTHT!
196
00:18:13,574 --> 00:18:16,954
..great pleasure to be here
among you today.
197
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:24,354
As you all well know,
the cause we are gathered here to support is a good one.
198
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,114
PHPHPT!
199
00:18:26,114 --> 00:18:28,054
RUMBLING
200
00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:47,194
It's doing it again.
201
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:50,214
Not as loud. We're cracking it.
202
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:54,814
Pass me that spanner.
Hold that bit there.
203
00:18:54,814 --> 00:18:56,594
It's hot!
204
00:18:56,594 --> 00:19:00,114
That's good.
It's supposed to be hot.
205
00:19:00,114 --> 00:19:03,154
HIGH-PITCHED WAIL
I think you're killing it.
206
00:19:03,154 --> 00:19:07,154
I'm not staying here
if it's going to be in pain.
207
00:19:07,154 --> 00:19:10,214
PPHTPHRT!
208
00:19:10,214 --> 00:19:14,514
Me granny used to make noises
like that. Especially at Christmas.
209
00:19:14,514 --> 00:19:18,994
You can see them, can't you?
The family gathered round the tree.
210
00:19:18,994 --> 00:19:21,434
Listening to granny.
211
00:19:21,434 --> 00:19:23,454
PHPHPHPRT!
212
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:35,774
I've never known
a shorter jumble sale.
213
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:38,474
I'll kill that husband of mine.
214
00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:41,714
Well, it turned out to be livelier
than I'd anticipated.
215
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,414
Like him from Henderson Street?
216
00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:45,934
Ooh! Oh, not quite.
217
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:49,554
I had hoped
to see the last of Barry's pyjamas.
218
00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:53,814
Drink your coffee. They'd become
far too tight for his convenience.
219
00:19:53,814 --> 00:19:56,654
We don't wish to know that.
220
00:19:56,654 --> 00:20:00,974
I learned I'd sooner listen
to that machine than Mrs Endicott.
221
00:20:02,674 --> 00:20:05,274
She wears such weird hats.
222
00:20:05,274 --> 00:20:08,254
Let's hope it's not catching.
223
00:20:09,714 --> 00:20:12,454
What happened to Mr Endicott?
224
00:20:12,454 --> 00:20:17,094
Not a lot, I shouldn't think,
or he wouldn't be with Mrs Endicott.
225
00:20:17,094 --> 00:20:22,294
They say he stays home
and treats his woodwork a lot.
226
00:20:22,294 --> 00:20:24,874
Now, why didn't I think of that?
227
00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:30,234
I'll have to get home to my Barry.
He was feeling depressed.
228
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:34,654
He was talking about getting
tattooed. I hope you stopped that.
229
00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:37,494
Not one member of this family
has been tattooed.
230
00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:39,214
And that includes your father.
231
00:20:39,214 --> 00:20:43,734
Oh, I do occasionally see him
without his oil stains.
232
00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:46,634
Mother! Drink your coffee.
233
00:20:52,694 --> 00:20:56,374
Be gentle with it.
It reminds him of his granny.
234
00:20:56,374 --> 00:21:01,414
Only from certain angles.
He used to take kids home from school to listen to his granny.
235
00:21:01,414 --> 00:21:06,094
A couple at a time. I weren't
running trips. You never took me.
236
00:21:06,094 --> 00:21:09,334
Well, you tinker with everything.
You'd have had her in pieces.
237
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,174
So where are we taking
Billy's granny?
238
00:21:12,174 --> 00:21:16,654
I'm going to take it off somewhere
and sell it. Not round here.
239
00:21:16,654 --> 00:21:19,534
There are too many stories
circulating about its condition.
240
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:25,274
It's mended now.
She's as sweet as a bird.
241
00:21:31,954 --> 00:21:35,134
That's the captain now,
just starting a round.
242
00:21:35,134 --> 00:21:38,094
How long are we going
to stay here, Barry?
243
00:21:38,094 --> 00:21:41,234
I'm supposed to figure out
something to please him.
244
00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:46,034
It's in the stars. You really think
Mrs Avery mingles with Tom Cruise?
245
00:21:46,034 --> 00:21:49,814
Only by e-mail.
I'm not gullible, Glenda.
246
00:21:50,994 --> 00:21:52,734
Oh, look!
247
00:21:55,034 --> 00:21:57,734
Look at the way the captain stands.
248
00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:03,614
You can stand, Barry.
You can stand as well as anybody.
249
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:10,994
You know, Glenda, when he shouts
at you, you can't help noticing he has this jawline and great teeth.
250
00:22:10,994 --> 00:22:13,874
I've a good mind to go down there
and sort him out.
251
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:17,134
Glenda!
The man is a wonderful golfer.
252
00:22:17,134 --> 00:22:19,914
Just a pain in the buttock
as a human being.
253
00:22:19,914 --> 00:22:25,274
Or else he wouldn't be mad with you,
Barry. Who could get mad with you?
254
00:22:25,274 --> 00:22:27,774
There's your mother for a start.
255
00:22:35,434 --> 00:22:37,674
Hey up, lass, what're you doing here?
256
00:22:37,674 --> 00:22:40,234
Barry's pining for his golf.
257
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:44,014
Will you give us a warning
before you stop next time, Wesley?
258
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:47,254
I believe Billy's
got a trouserful of warm tea.
259
00:22:47,254 --> 00:22:50,214
Nagging. They're always nagging.
260
00:22:50,354 --> 00:22:55,054
Hot tea. With sugar.
And you know he doesn't take sugar.
261
00:22:55,054 --> 00:22:58,474
That's twice today
I've felt me eyes water.
262
00:22:58,474 --> 00:23:00,534
Is that that awful machine?
263
00:23:00,534 --> 00:23:06,314
She's not awful any more. She's
as sweet as a bird. I've fixed her.
264
00:23:06,314 --> 00:23:09,654
Works like a charm.
What is it?
265
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:11,654
It's heavy.
266
00:23:11,654 --> 00:23:17,554
It's a go-anywhere
automatic vending machine. Anywhere?
267
00:23:17,554 --> 00:23:19,374
Absolutely.
268
00:23:19,374 --> 00:23:24,454
And he does mean anywhere.
Look where it just went. Down me.
269
00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:27,454
Would it go halfway
round a golf course?
270
00:23:27,454 --> 00:23:32,854
Somewhere about the ninth hole?
I've told you. Anywhere.
271
00:23:33,974 --> 00:23:36,534
This is it.
272
00:23:36,534 --> 00:23:42,794
I could be the man
who brought refreshment to tired players halfway round the course.
273
00:23:58,414 --> 00:24:03,414
Keep it upright. You'll spill
everything. This end's warm.
274
00:24:03,414 --> 00:24:06,474
I know another end that's warm.
275
00:24:06,474 --> 00:24:11,194
It's supposed to be warm.
People don't want cold drinks.
276
00:24:11,194 --> 00:24:13,254
It's grand round here.
277
00:24:13,254 --> 00:24:17,014
It's the kind of place Robin Hood
would have been at home in.
278
00:24:17,014 --> 00:24:21,994
Oh, Robin Hood was a golfer?
Not many people know that.
279
00:24:23,314 --> 00:24:25,514
What was his handicap?
280
00:24:25,514 --> 00:24:27,774
The Sheriff of Nottingham.
281
00:24:28,914 --> 00:24:33,194
It's his kind of country. The rough,
I mean, not the poncy bits.
282
00:24:33,194 --> 00:24:37,354
This'll do about here.
We can conceal it entirely.
283
00:24:37,354 --> 00:24:40,234
No detriment
to the appearance of the course.
284
00:24:46,814 --> 00:24:49,134
Hey up.
285
00:24:49,134 --> 00:24:53,094
Hello, Barry. I didn't know
you were in this business.
286
00:24:53,094 --> 00:24:56,454
I'm not really. It's just
my gesture to the golf club.
287
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:59,794
Well done, lad.
I'll have a coffee, please.
288
00:24:59,794 --> 00:25:02,494
And me.
Two coffees, please, Mr Pegden.
289
00:25:12,854 --> 00:25:17,834
Doesn't sound
like anybody's granny now. What was your granny's problem?
290
00:25:17,834 --> 00:25:19,994
Me granddad, mostly.
291
00:25:19,994 --> 00:25:26,014
The musical noises. Oh, she had
one of them orchestral stomachs they used to have in them days.
292
00:25:26,014 --> 00:25:30,634
Probably treacle. They used to eat
copious amounts of treacle.
293
00:25:30,634 --> 00:25:34,394
They were great believers
in lining your stomach.
294
00:25:34,394 --> 00:25:36,654
She was very keen chapel.
295
00:25:36,654 --> 00:25:39,254
Which could over-stress
your innards.
296
00:25:39,254 --> 00:25:42,174
Along with underwear
stiffer than hymn books.
297
00:25:43,714 --> 00:25:45,194
Thanks.
298
00:25:46,394 --> 00:25:48,474
Thanks, Barry. That was great.
299
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:55,154
I'm proud of you, Mr Pegden. You're
right, she is sweet as a bird.
300
00:25:55,154 --> 00:25:56,894
It's just a gift, lad.
301
00:25:57,754 --> 00:26:00,974
It's going to surprise the captain.
302
00:26:04,714 --> 00:26:09,834
I'll have to have words
with the greenkeeper.
303
00:26:12,014 --> 00:26:15,534
Do you see how we blend
into the background?
304
00:26:15,534 --> 00:26:19,114
I think that says "Keep Out",
Howard.
305
00:26:19,114 --> 00:26:22,974
It only applies to people
who have no business here.
306
00:26:22,974 --> 00:26:26,414
What do you have in mind, Howard?
307
00:26:26,414 --> 00:26:30,394
We're just a couple
looking for lost golf balls.
308
00:26:30,394 --> 00:26:33,834
That's it? (There's a bonus!)
309
00:26:33,834 --> 00:26:38,614
Damn me! Auntie Wainwright'll
pay us for every clean ball we find.
310
00:26:40,214 --> 00:26:43,174
PHPHRPRHTHPRHTPRHTPHPRHHT!
311
00:26:55,154 --> 00:26:59,914
WHIRRING, CLANKING
AND FLATULENT NOISES
312
00:27:09,434 --> 00:27:13,554
PHRPTHRPHTPRHTPRHPPHTRHT!
313
00:27:13,554 --> 00:27:15,174
You again!
314
00:27:37,274 --> 00:27:39,994
They're shooting at us!
315
00:27:39,994 --> 00:27:42,374
I think she's put a contract out!
316
00:28:14,494 --> 00:28:18,794
Subtitles by BBC - 2001
317
00:28:23,694 --> 00:28:27,614
I don't know why they got so mad
with Barry.
318
00:28:27,614 --> 00:28:30,714
He's just given the golf course
a new hole!
319
00:28:30,714 --> 00:28:34,574
Even I could hit that one!
320
00:28:34,574 --> 00:28:41,094
I thought Howard was moving well.
I hope he puts the kettle on.
321
00:28:41,144 --> 00:28:45,694
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
27148
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.