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1
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:13,880
How do, lads. Hello, sailor.
2
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,820
Was that Robinson Crusoe?
3
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:19,880
Sounded more like Billy Hardcastle.
4
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,640
Oooooh!
5
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:30,060
Hey, hey. Hey, bloomin' heck, hey,
damn and blast.
6
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,920
Oooh, Mother, oh!
7
00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:37,860
You're right. It IS Billy Hardcastle.
8
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:22,220
I thought Howard looked harassed
when we left this morning. I don't look. It's best not to look.
9
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,980
Otherwise he gets you involved.
10
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:30,620
SQUELCHING
11
00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:38,500
Finished rafting, Billy?
12
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:44,380
Yeah. Done that. You must have been
out early this morning, Billy.
13
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:52,160
To build a raft like that must have
taken you all of twenty minutes. One that folds up into pieces.
14
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:57,600
I was up at the crack of dawn.
Aye, before the wife's sister comes.
15
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,140
Bad attack of the in-laws.
Sorry to hear that.
16
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:06,720
It's the wife's younger sister.
Her husband's left her. So she stays with us.
17
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,880
They sit staring at me,
looking for signs of infidelity.
18
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,280
I don't even have time
to read the newspaper. I'm gone.
19
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,880
I thought you fancied
the outdoors life, Billy.
20
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,540
Not THAT early in the morning.
21
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:27,360
I feel so guilty waking up
the sparrows. Everyone else hears 'em chirping. I hear 'em yawning.
22
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,120
What about putting your foot down?
He's put both down. Look at 'em.
23
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:39,180
Pearl, love.
24
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:44,000
If you're trying to inflame
my senses, it's not working.
25
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,080
Have you seen my shorts?
To be honest, I try not to look. I can't find my shorts.
26
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,920
When did you have 'em last?
I can't remember. They must be here.
27
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:59,360
They'd better be here!
They're not lost, just misplaced.
28
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:05,620
How can a person lose his shorts?
I'm not even going to THINK about that.
29
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:12,100
They could be anywhere, when
you think of the trouble you go to to find places to misplace things in.
30
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:16,760
You lose one pair of shorts
and you never hear the last of it!
31
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:21,900
Let's put it this way. You'd better
get them found and show 'em to me,
32
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,920
or you'll lose more than your shorts.
33
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,240
Ahhh!
34
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,780
Lord, Barry! I knew it would happen.
35
00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:49,960
You'd be taken from me in your prime.
What is it, Barry? Tell me gently.
36
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:55,260
I'm fat. I was just putting this
shirt on and I saw in the mirror...
37
00:03:55,260 --> 00:04:02,300
I've got a profile like Father
Christmas. You scared me to death, Barry. It didn't do ME any good.
38
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:10,300
You're not fat. There's a lot of you
still thin. Where? Tell me. Give me the good news.
39
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:14,060
Your ears. Your ears are still thin.
40
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:19,100
Round the middle, I'm fat.
You're just cuddly.
41
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:25,900
I'm never going swimming again.
You never do go swimming, Barry. Is there any wonder?
42
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,580
I'll still love you, Barry,
even if you're fat.
43
00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:32,380
You see? You noticed.
44
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,880
I'm fat.
45
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:43,180
You'd better come in then, Billy,
seeing how you daren't go home.
46
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:48,480
I'm not afraid of anything. I'm
a direct descendant of Robin Hood.
47
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:55,840
Well, maybe HE daren't go home.
Maybe in the green wood HE was waiting for the wife's sister to go.
48
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:04,760
Did you see the way this thing
suddenly appeared? Did somebody rub an old lamp?
49
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:11,080
I had to pop in, Cleggy,
it's an emergency. Your life is a continual emergency, Howard.
50
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,100
It's like living next door
to Bette Davis.
51
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,780
I've lost me shorts.
52
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:24,300
Definitely an emergency.
With your way of life, one day it was bound to happen.
53
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,500
I bet it was more fun
than building a raft.
54
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:32,740
I've mislaid a pair, and of course
Pearl thinks it's suspicious.
55
00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:37,740
Highly. And I speak professionally,
as a former policeman.
56
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:42,380
It would put her mind at rest
if she thought I'd found them.
57
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:45,100
Can you lend me a pair, Cleggy?
58
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:51,260
Me? Shorts? Do I strike you
as a shorts person, Howard?
59
00:05:51,260 --> 00:05:57,900
I wear underpants with so much
in reserve they'd never squeeze into a pair of shorts.
60
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:03,680
Don't look at me, Howard. I wouldn't
know where to put me truncheon. Billy?
61
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:11,020
I've got a pair of shorts. We were
going to Spain until she saw me in 'em. ..Went to Bridlington.
62
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:16,740
Can I borrow them, Billy? I just
need to show her I've found them.
63
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:21,360
The problem is not lending 'em,
but going home to fetch 'em.
64
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,660
You can do it, Billy.
You're not afraid of anything.
65
00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:30,720
Did I say that? I seem to be
developing this tendency to exaggerate.
66
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:39,520
Listen, Billy, if you were going to
wear shorts, even if only in Spain, you must have nerves of steel.
67
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:04,520
I thought it was time for him to be
having a cup of tea.
68
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,700
I know when it's time
for a cup of tea.
69
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:14,540
Don't bother to take one back,
ladies. I can drink two. It's thirsty work, this planning.
70
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:19,680
How are you this morning, Mrs Batty?
Oh, I love how you do your hair.
71
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:25,700
Ooh, he does know how to compliment
a person. Drink this one first before it gets cold.
72
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:29,960
Here, mine's come furthest,
you drink mine first.
73
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,700
Aagh... Oh... Owww...
74
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,380
Oh, I do like
the way you do your hair(!)
75
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:44,500
If he was mine,
there'd be a clean shirt waiting.
76
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:47,420
There is a clean shirt waiting.
77
00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:05,369
Oh, what's wrong with me now?
78
00:08:05,369 --> 00:08:10,669
We haven't time for the full tour.
Let's concentrate on your expression.
79
00:08:10,669 --> 00:08:15,029
My expression? Well, what's wrong
with my expression?
80
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:19,789
It may be all right from your side
but it's off-putting from our side.
81
00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:22,989
It's not an expression
to make a customer feel at home.
82
00:08:22,989 --> 00:08:27,149
How's he going to feel at home
at these prices?
83
00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:30,669
I can't expect you
to change overnight.
84
00:08:30,669 --> 00:08:34,529
You've had a lifetime's experience
of being miserable,
85
00:08:34,529 --> 00:08:41,349
but when there's a customer
approaching, as well as hanging onto his arm so he can't sneak away,
86
00:08:41,349 --> 00:08:46,929
I'd like you to try
and find an expression that's a bit more welcoming.
87
00:08:46,929 --> 00:08:49,409
What kind of expression? Well,
88
00:08:49,409 --> 00:08:54,029
there's one in there somewhere.
You'll have to find it. Practise.
89
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,789
Oh, you can try it on this lady now.
90
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:03,649
Now, big welcome. Warm smile.
91
00:09:03,649 --> 00:09:06,329
Oozing charm and personality.
92
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,829
Just do your best.
93
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:21,349
Oh, forget it. You'll have to learn
to smile with your back turned.
94
00:09:23,149 --> 00:09:24,509
Oh...
95
00:09:29,829 --> 00:09:34,409
How do you ride a bike
with ALL these hills?
96
00:09:34,409 --> 00:09:39,969
Ever thought of flattening them for
the benefit of the pedalling public?
97
00:09:39,969 --> 00:09:44,889
You'll get used to 'em.
I'll NEVER get used to them.
98
00:09:44,889 --> 00:09:47,629
You would on the right machine.
99
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:51,909
And guess who happens to have one?
The right machine?
100
00:09:51,909 --> 00:09:55,809
Something which helps to take
the strain. Trust me, lad.
101
00:09:55,809 --> 00:10:01,569
You're catching me
when my resistance is low on account of excessive knee wobble.
102
00:10:01,569 --> 00:10:04,409
Spotted it immediately.
103
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:13,609
A person hesitates to pry, but
you have to wonder HOW he lost his shorts. He hasn't lost his shorts.
104
00:10:13,609 --> 00:10:20,109
He just THINKS he's lost his shorts.
Which could be considered even stranger!
105
00:10:20,109 --> 00:10:23,009
Not when you realise
I've hidden them.
106
00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:29,349
Now he's panicking. He's wondering
what he did with them. Ooh, isn't that a bit sneaky?
107
00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:32,989
It's diabolical.
Oh-ho, I love it.
108
00:10:34,029 --> 00:10:39,109
Keeps him on his toes. You don't mind
seeing him suffer a bit, then? No!
109
00:10:39,109 --> 00:10:41,729
In fact I quite enjoy it.
110
00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:45,689
Oh, good for you.
Men NEED the discipline.
111
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:51,909
I suppose that's the one advantage
of keeping 'em for ages. You can really get 'em fully trained.
112
00:10:51,909 --> 00:10:58,349
I never have mine long enough.
The trouble is if you go with men who stray...
113
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:01,709
next thing you know,
they've strayed.
114
00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:10,969
She was right! The ideal vehicle.
115
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:16,629
I bet HE's done some straying.
Not the one in front. No...
116
00:11:16,629 --> 00:11:19,129
not the one in front.
117
00:11:21,609 --> 00:11:25,069
It's never the ones
that do all the pedalling.
118
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:36,169
I don't know the shepherd's pie.
He's from the shoe stall in the market place.
119
00:11:36,169 --> 00:11:40,449
Smile at him nicely and
he'll give you a discount. No way.
120
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:47,169
Next thing you know they want
something in return. I don't think YOU'd have a serious problem.
121
00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:52,429
You can't be too careful.
I think we've reached safety after all these years.
122
00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:55,149
Not when they wear glasses.
123
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,929
I know the steak and kidney.
124
00:11:57,929 --> 00:12:01,149
She's from Barford Street.
That's the one.
125
00:12:01,149 --> 00:12:07,949
Isn't that her second husband?
Well, you can't imagine him being anyone's FIRST choice.
126
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:22,349
Come on, he says. I'll take you for a
spin, he says. Get out together more.
127
00:12:22,349 --> 00:12:24,929
You're doing great, petal.
128
00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:26,989
You're a natural.
129
00:12:37,629 --> 00:12:41,749
What do you do for exercise?
You live with him.
130
00:12:41,749 --> 00:12:48,909
Is keeping fit important to you?
Am I looking at a fellow enthusiast for the active physical life?
131
00:12:48,909 --> 00:12:52,789
It is. You are. I am.
132
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:55,549
What you need is a personal trainer.
133
00:12:56,749 --> 00:13:00,269
Yes. That's it. A personal trainer.
134
00:13:01,829 --> 00:13:04,449
How much will one of them cost,
I wonder.
135
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:11,009
Still, there's no gain without pain.
I'll start saving again when I get thin.
136
00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:15,349
Where will I find
a personal trainer?
137
00:13:15,349 --> 00:13:18,549
You, er... Call this number, Barry.
138
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:24,129
Do it now. I will.
139
00:13:24,129 --> 00:13:29,369
I'll do it now. ..Thank you.
No problem, Barry.
140
00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:37,549
Who do we know who's a personal
trainer? You'll be surprised.
141
00:13:41,409 --> 00:13:44,429
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
142
00:13:45,569 --> 00:13:47,689
Personal Trainers.
143
00:13:48,769 --> 00:13:53,209
We can discuss the fee
after your first free trial lesson
144
00:13:53,209 --> 00:13:57,769
for which we only make
a small charge to cover expenses.
145
00:13:57,769 --> 00:14:02,549
Yes, we guarantee absolute
personal attention.
146
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:09,749
Well, first, you should contact our
managing director, Mr Tom Simmonite.
147
00:14:20,589 --> 00:14:25,309
You're the managing director?
Welcome aboard Personal Trainers.
148
00:14:25,309 --> 00:14:28,289
Who's my personal trainer?
149
00:14:28,289 --> 00:14:34,829
Say hello to your personal trainer.
Me?! I told you you'd be surprised.
150
00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:44,509
I learned a lot about the difference
between men and women when I once had to arrest a lady bouncer.
151
00:14:45,629 --> 00:14:48,489
I wouldn't know where to start.
152
00:14:48,489 --> 00:14:53,249
She'd had a few to drink. She was
in no mood for coming quietly.
153
00:14:53,249 --> 00:14:58,509
It was the closest I'd ever been
to somebody without actually being engaged.
154
00:14:58,509 --> 00:15:01,409
How long do I have to do this?
155
00:15:01,409 --> 00:15:05,029
Till you remember
where you left your shorts.
156
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:09,529
Did you manage to arrest her?
After one or two severe bites.
157
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:12,109
Do lady bouncers bite?
158
00:15:12,109 --> 00:15:14,789
Not her, ME!
159
00:15:19,909 --> 00:15:23,189
Well, couldn't I sit
on something softer?
160
00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:30,869
The whole point
of this ancient Eastern method for recovering lost memories
161
00:15:30,869 --> 00:15:37,569
is to be so uncomfortable that
the only way to ignore the pain is to focus on what you've forgotten.
162
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:43,549
But if I'm thinking of shorts,
it keeps reminding me just where I'm hurting!
163
00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:49,769
Where did you come across
this ancient Eastern method?
164
00:15:49,769 --> 00:15:55,129
I've just invented it.
Well, he's getting the hang of the painful part,
165
00:15:55,129 --> 00:15:57,949
but I'm not sure about the memory.
166
00:15:57,949 --> 00:15:59,669
ENGINE ROARS
167
00:16:03,389 --> 00:16:07,489
What's he doing sitting crosslegged
on a hard surface?
168
00:16:07,489 --> 00:16:13,189
It's an ancient Eastern method
for jogging the memory. Truly's just invented it.
169
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:16,889
I bet Howard remembers THAT
for a while.
170
00:16:16,889 --> 00:16:23,549
Have you seen our Barry? My Barry's
gone off to be thin. I want to find him before he overdoes it.
171
00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:28,509
Why don't we help?
Then you can give us a lift.
172
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:33,589
Oh, I'd appreciate the help.
I'd like my Barry back before he goes TOO thin.
173
00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:36,669
I've only just bought him
new underwear!
174
00:16:36,669 --> 00:16:41,409
Well, come on, then. Chop chop!
They buy new underwear?
175
00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:45,189
It's not something
there's much call for second hand(!)
176
00:16:45,189 --> 00:16:47,989
Whatever happened
to making things last?
177
00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:50,709
You can't just leave me here!
178
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,189
Well, come on.
179
00:16:54,229 --> 00:16:57,749
I can't move. I've got leg lock.
180
00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:10,909
How long will I stay like this?
181
00:17:10,909 --> 00:17:15,429
Out East they've been known
to stay like that for 30 years.
182
00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:21,909
I've got an appointment on Thursday.
Oh, well, you'll just have to look her straight in the kneecap
183
00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:26,749
and explain that you're determined
not to lose any more shorts.
184
00:17:28,889 --> 00:17:33,849
You're getting it, Barry.
I can see the pounds coming off.
185
00:17:36,549 --> 00:17:40,129
How long do I have to be
his personal trainer?
186
00:17:40,129 --> 00:17:43,549
As long as we can get away with it.
Looking good.
187
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:48,409
I think he's ready for stage two.
188
00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:57,749
You have told her
I've never boxed before?
189
00:17:57,749 --> 00:18:00,509
Before I met her, she was the same.
190
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:06,269
You'll soon get the hang of it.
She'll take you through it gently.
191
00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:12,809
I don't know whether I could hit
a lady. Oh, don't worry about it. She's used to pain. ..Right.
192
00:18:12,809 --> 00:18:17,369
I want a clean fight, no holding
and come out fighting.
193
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:33,809
Looking good, Barry.
Oh, he's a natural! You sure you've never done this before?
194
00:18:33,809 --> 00:18:38,029
Throw a few punches, Barry!
Come on. Get closer.
195
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,789
She's not on e-mail.
196
00:18:45,229 --> 00:18:48,709
What did you hit him like that for?
197
00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:53,109
It was just a tap.
He's a paying customer.
198
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,889
Are you coming in?
199
00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:11,229
With all the women in there?
You must be joking. I'd sooner be interrogated by MI5.
200
00:19:11,229 --> 00:19:13,749
They have SOME rules.
201
00:19:28,509 --> 00:19:30,069
Sorry.
202
00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:38,869
Well! It's not every day you have
to remove a person from your blouse.
203
00:19:38,869 --> 00:19:40,629
Hey up!
204
00:19:42,669 --> 00:19:47,809
Eli, that you just bumped into,
was that who I thought it was?
205
00:19:47,809 --> 00:19:52,269
I've no idea but I think
they were identical twins.
206
00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:01,429
Ah, just the lady.
207
00:20:02,349 --> 00:20:05,789
Good heavens. For what, one wonders.
208
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:11,229
Can you sneak these shorts
to Howard? He's been caught without his shorts.
209
00:20:11,229 --> 00:20:14,489
Well, I'm sure it's no fault
of mine.
210
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:18,789
He needs to borrow a pair.
He's mislaid his own.
211
00:20:18,789 --> 00:20:24,109
Well, not with me, he hasn't.
The only thing he's ever lost with me is his nerve.
212
00:20:24,109 --> 00:20:29,549
Shall you be seeing him?
Not without his shorts. I need to get these to him.
213
00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:36,289
It's really not something
you can expect a shy young thing to become involved with.
214
00:20:39,269 --> 00:20:44,169
Well, I hope you haven't bent Howard
permanently.
215
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:48,589
If he ever gets small enough to slip
through my letterbox, I'm in trouble.
216
00:20:48,589 --> 00:20:53,309
No. It's been my experience that
barmpots are usually quite flexible.
217
00:20:53,309 --> 00:20:55,869
He's already walking better.
218
00:20:55,869 --> 00:21:01,909
Walking better than what?
If he ever gets near water they'll start throwing bread at him.
219
00:21:01,909 --> 00:21:03,329
KNOCK AT DOOR
220
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:09,729
There. He's recovered already.
Oh, that's not Howard's knock. Howard always sounds more guilty.
221
00:21:09,729 --> 00:21:12,869
I've brought these shorts
for Howard.
222
00:21:12,869 --> 00:21:17,889
Are they crosslegged? If they're
not crosslegged they'll never fit.
223
00:21:17,889 --> 00:21:23,869
He's not going to WEAR 'em,
just let Pearl have a peek to see he's not lost them.
224
00:21:23,869 --> 00:21:29,909
I don't like it.
I don't like getting mixed up in people's clandestine shorts.
225
00:21:32,809 --> 00:21:36,909
What's your Barry doing up there
in the hills, anyway?
226
00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:38,729
He's gone off to be thin.
227
00:21:38,729 --> 00:21:42,649
Oh, they can go up there
for worse reasons than that.
228
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:49,049
Why does everybody want to be thin?
It's a mystery to those of us in the catering trade.
229
00:21:50,389 --> 00:21:55,489
It's the thin ones that go astray.
You see some woman trying to be thin,
230
00:21:55,489 --> 00:22:00,249
and you can bet your life
she's not doing it just to keep fit.
231
00:22:00,249 --> 00:22:06,569
Some of us prefer to be thin.
And not so's you can run a mile in five minutes, neither.
232
00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:12,569
My Howard's fairly thin.
He eats like a little horse, but he never puts on any weight.
233
00:22:12,569 --> 00:22:14,709
He must lose it worrying.
234
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:16,989
What's HE got to worry about?
235
00:22:16,989 --> 00:22:19,449
Me.
236
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:23,549
I like my Barry just as he is.
237
00:22:23,549 --> 00:22:28,329
Well, if you look harder you'll
find something that needs improving.
238
00:22:28,329 --> 00:22:32,609
Say what you like about men,
but they're better for your figure.
239
00:22:32,609 --> 00:22:38,009
If I hadn't developed an interest
in men, I'd have just pigged out on chocolate.
240
00:22:39,129 --> 00:22:43,509
There's often too many nuts in.
Not the chocolate. The men.
241
00:22:43,509 --> 00:22:49,529
But why does your Barry suddenly
WANT to be slim? I expect he wants to stay attractive to women.
242
00:22:49,529 --> 00:22:53,249
Ohh! Oh, from a distance, I expect.
243
00:22:53,249 --> 00:22:57,109
Don't cry, love.
He's not all that attractive.
244
00:22:59,609 --> 00:23:06,189
No, he'll never be all that
attractive. Well, don't just sit there cheering her up(!)
245
00:23:06,189 --> 00:23:10,389
I like him cuddly.
I like him with love handles.
246
00:23:11,149 --> 00:23:13,629
Drink your coffee.
247
00:23:20,609 --> 00:23:25,089
It's easy. We wait until we see
the ladies coming out.
248
00:23:25,089 --> 00:23:29,389
Then we walk past
as if it were just a coincidence.
249
00:23:29,389 --> 00:23:31,709
You show Pearl your shorts.
250
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:36,569
You tell her you've just
picked them up from the cleaners'. You forgot they were there.
251
00:23:37,529 --> 00:23:40,089
Which cleaners'?
252
00:23:40,089 --> 00:23:44,069
Good grief, man,
you're inventing it. Pick one!
253
00:23:44,069 --> 00:23:46,629
I don't like it. It's sneaky.
254
00:23:46,629 --> 00:23:53,529
Of course it's sneaky. The art
of being married requires a certain competence at being sneaky.
255
00:23:53,529 --> 00:23:55,549
You think he's got it?
256
00:23:56,629 --> 00:24:03,609
He's been sneaky all his life.
Yes, but what you've got to remember is that he's not just sneaky,
257
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:07,129
he's an idiot. He always gets caught.
258
00:24:07,129 --> 00:24:09,709
It's true. I always get caught.
259
00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:13,829
How can you get caught this time?
You just walk past with a smile
260
00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:17,709
show her the shorts
and you're home and dry.
261
00:24:17,709 --> 00:24:22,509
He'll get it wrong. I'll have
to move for being an accessory!
262
00:24:22,509 --> 00:24:25,109
Here they come.
263
00:24:27,309 --> 00:24:30,189
Here we go. Big confident smile.
264
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,529
Quick flash of the shorts, Howard.
265
00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:45,749
Shorts. I forgot
they were at the cleaners'.
266
00:24:45,749 --> 00:24:50,009
Really. Well, bring 'em
with you and don't lose them again.
267
00:24:50,009 --> 00:24:53,509
You can all come with us.
We're looking for Barry.
268
00:24:53,509 --> 00:24:55,969
You see! That wasn't so bad, was it?
269
00:24:56,989 --> 00:25:00,329
GEARS GRIND
270
00:25:02,469 --> 00:25:06,969
We'll go in Ros's car.
Yes. The men can go with Edie.
271
00:25:11,289 --> 00:25:14,269
Why are we taking THEM?
272
00:25:14,269 --> 00:25:17,249
They're helping me look for my Barry.
273
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:22,229
I want no criticism of my driving
cos you know what men are like.
274
00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:25,889
They think
they're the only ones who can drive.
275
00:25:44,729 --> 00:25:48,269
Our Barry's going a funny colour.
276
00:25:48,269 --> 00:25:54,849
Even from behind he's going
a funny colour. Oh, you can feel the weight falling off him.
277
00:25:54,849 --> 00:25:58,309
Do you think he needs a breather?
278
00:25:58,309 --> 00:26:02,869
He'll be going downhill in a minute.
He'll get a breather then.
279
00:26:27,769 --> 00:26:30,589
SQUEAKING
280
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,429
If you've any brakes back there
281
00:26:33,429 --> 00:26:36,869
now would be a good time.
282
00:26:36,869 --> 00:26:40,429
Use the brakes.
I AM using the brakes.
283
00:26:40,429 --> 00:26:42,989
Now! Don't let go!
284
00:26:42,989 --> 00:26:44,669
CRASH!
285
00:26:54,169 --> 00:26:57,029
Barry! Who IS that woman?
286
00:26:57,029 --> 00:27:01,849
There's no cause for alarm.
She's my personal trainer.
287
00:27:03,129 --> 00:27:06,069
Ohhhh.
288
00:27:08,509 --> 00:27:13,729
Right. Show me those shorts.
I want to see you wearing them.
289
00:27:13,729 --> 00:27:17,249
Put them on. Out here?
290
00:27:17,249 --> 00:27:21,029
Go behind that bush
and put them on.
291
00:27:26,509 --> 00:27:29,529
I knew it. Now I'll HAVE to move.
292
00:27:29,529 --> 00:27:35,929
It's him that's going
to have to move - and fast - when she sees those shorts.
293
00:28:21,429 --> 00:28:24,709
I'm going to kill those cleaners.
294
00:28:24,709 --> 00:28:26,709
Who wants a lift back to town?
295
00:28:26,759 --> 00:28:31,309
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