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1
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:18,018
♪ Of all the wonderful things
in life you can find ♪
2
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,146
♪ They all can be yours
with the right frame of mind ♪
3
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,483
♪ Just look, and you'll find ♪
4
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,986
♪ There are no secrets to hide ♪
5
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,532
♪ Leave your problems behind
Leave your problems behind ♪
6
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,576
♪ No worry, friends No worry ♪
7
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,756
Yuck!
8
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,842
Eww!
9
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,138
Swim trunks are loaded with detergents and
other hazardous chemicals harmful to fish.
12
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,144
Hi, Allison.
13
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,819
- Just quit my job at the aquarium.
- Heard you got fired.
14
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:55,199
Yeah. The aquarium's totally changed.
Don't worry about me. I will be fine.
15
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,492
I got a lot of great offers.
16
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,578
Things are really
starting to happen for me.
17
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,581
- I was thinking maybe later if you were not doing any...
- No.
18
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,376
- I mean if... Uh, when you are not working.
- I don't think so.
19
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,839
Okay, I guess I will just take
some sea snails and be on my way.
20
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,350
No, no, a little lower.
The ones on the bottom.
21
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,496
Uh,
22
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,040
have a good nipple.
23
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,403
♪ Color me your color, baby ♪
24
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,906
♪ Color me your car ♪
25
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,617
♪ Color me your color, darling ♪
26
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,246
♪ I know who you are ♪
27
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,748
♪
28
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,751
Ah, you have beautiful skin, baby, huh?
29
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:33,005
Get some olive oil,
rub it all over you.
30
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,215
We'll have a good time, huh?
31
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,260
Oh, yeah.
32
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,931
Let's get him out of there.
33
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,780
Oh Oh, Antoine!
34
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,575
Yeah!
36
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,470
Try to keep your
goldfish in this bowl.
37
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,642
If you like, I could
stick around for a while.
38
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,146
Every kid needs a father.
39
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,993
What the hell?
40
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,474
What the hell are you doing?
41
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:11,937
There's a mongrel koi in there.
It's the most dangerous of all goldfish.
42
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,525
- Do you have any ice?
- Hey.
43
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,527
Shoes off, huh?
44
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,405
Respect the 18th century
Persian carpet.
45
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,829
Whoa!
What are those?
46
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:32,708
Medieval weapons.
I'm a collector.
47
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,544
They are worth twice as much
if they have killed somebody.
48
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,717
I collect Canadian coins.
49
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,303
I got about six of them.
50
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,852
Would you like
anything to drink?
51
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,021
I would not mind a glass of...
52
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,899
Whoa.
What is that?
53
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,903
Is that a custom Living Color
anti glare, retractable top tank?
54
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,572
- I'm not sure.
- It is!
55
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,200
They assemble each one
of these by hand.
56
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:10,162
Whoa! Chinese tailbar lionfish.
He's a beauty!
57
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,331
That's an 800 dollar fish!
58
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,168
- Try a thousand.
- Then you overpaid.
59
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,549
Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish.
60
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,427
Hey, fish, fish, fish.
61
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,347
Hey. An Australian
rainbow fish.
62
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,350
You're not going to
want to put him in there...
63
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,354
- Oh, God!
- Women love it.
64
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,148
They find it erotic
when they eat each other.
65
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,110
Excuse me for a second, huh?
66
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,112
Must make pee pee.
67
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,213
Antoine, hi. It's Regina.
68
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,675
I'm flying in from Luxembourg tomorrow.
I want you to be my driver.
69
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,053
Swiss Air, flight 12.
Is it still 3,500?
70
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,974
See you. Ciao.
71
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,185
I finally figured out how you
pick up all these gorgeous women.
72
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,272
- How's that?
- You're a limo driver.
73
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,150
Sometimes I am.
74
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:26,488
- So you just drive them back here and have sex with them?
- If they pay me enough, yes.
75
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,199
What kind of limo service
is that?
76
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,703
Shouldn't you be taking them
to fancy restaurants or the theater?
77
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:37,666
- I'm a gigolo.
- A gigo who?
78
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,337
Women pay me
to give them pleasure.
79
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:51,054
- How did you get that job?
- I just kind of fell into it.
80
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,766
I'm going to kill
my guidance counselor.
82
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:06,361
Hey! Hey! Hey!
83
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,457
Down!
Bad dog!
84
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,219
Hey, guys.
Did you miss me?
85
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,729
Well, there has been a slight delay
in our move to the beach plan.
86
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,192
But don't worry.
87
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,615
It's going to happen.
88
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,497
Hey, fish guy!
89
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:05,254
I think there is something wrong
with my, uh, uh, big fish.
90
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:17,307
PH is off. The nitrates
are at a dangerous level.
91
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:21,812
- I can neutralize it.
- Oh, fish, fish, fish.
92
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,148
They don't like that.
93
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,571
- I think our little friend has Malawi bloat.
- What the hell is that?
94
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,699
- It's a gill disorder.
- Is it bad?
95
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,953
- Could be fatal.
- But is he going to make it?
96
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:42,457
He is in shock. I gave him some freeze dried
water fleas, but he's got to want to live.
97
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,210
- The next forty eight hours are critical.
- Forty eight hours?
98
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:49,173
But I got to go to Switzerland for
business. I'll be gone for three weeks.
99
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,967
Well, cancel it.
You got a sick fish here, pal.
100
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,052
Hey, hey, what about you, huh?
101
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,597
Sounds good, but I can't afford
to go to Europe right now.
102
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,851
- My passport expired ... No, no, I mean you
can stay here and look after my fish.
103
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,061
I have got a full bar, huh?
104
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,272
Digital television.
105
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,816
You are on the beach.
106
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,152
I don't know.
I...
107
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,244
I would be honored
to care for your fish.
108
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:38,263
Just remember, don't use my car
and don't answer my phone.
109
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:41,642
No car, no phone.
110
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,810
So I guess throwing a big beach party is
out of the question.
111
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,943
This is a 14th century
Hungarian crossbow.
112
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,737
It has killed a king...
113
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,198
and changed
the history of Europe.
114
00:10:56,281 --> 00:11:00,577
You mess up anything in my apartment,
I will shove it up your ass.
115
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,915
Have a good trip.
116
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,133
♪ Come on, come on ♪
117
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,849
Women pay me
to give them pleasure.
118
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,692
♪ Come on, come on ♪
119
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,069
♪ And tell me
what you are saying ♪
120
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,071
♪ Come on, come on ♪
121
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,740
♪ Get a whiff
of what I'm wearing ♪
122
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,742
♪ Come on, come on ♪
123
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,831
♪ Come on, come on ♪
124
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,833
♪ And stop ♪
125
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,918
I'm on the beach.
126
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,963
I mean, I open up my window,
I got sand blowing in my face.
127
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,300
- It's that crazy. I would love to show it
to you sometime.- No.
128
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,302
- You really owe it to yourself to see...
- No.
129
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,597
Hey! Try to get laid
on your own time, pal.
130
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,560
I guess I will just take
some sea snails.
131
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,857
You better get me some
from the colder tank.
133
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:04,117
Oh, yes! Oh!
134
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:08,163
I have been bad.
I have been really bad.
135
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,293
But it was worth it.
136
00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:18,173
Hi. Would you like to buy
some Girls of America cookies?
137
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:21,844
- Do not hit me with that.
- Could you come back later?
138
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,514
- - Oh!
What are you watching?
139
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,933
You are gross!
140
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,019
You're a sick man,
and I'm going to tell!
141
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:33,438
- Hit me with it again.
- How much?
142
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,808
Great.
143
00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:49,765
Hey, Deuce, it's Antoine.
144
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,851
I just realized
I don't know you that well.
145
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,895
To be honest,
it's freaking me out a little.
146
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,689
You just make sure you keep
my apartment clean or you will die.
147
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,691
Bye bye.
148
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,325
Oh! Oh!
150
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,461
- Six thousand dollars?
- I know. It sucks.
151
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,965
Neil, where am I going
to get 6,000 dollars in three weeks?
152
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,677
I don't know your budget.
You may not want to...
153
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,513
blow your whole wad
on this tank.
154
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,184
I would.
155
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,103
- Can I pay in installments?
- No.
156
00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:21,857
I'm up to my arms in it,
if you know what I mean.
157
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:25,903
I'm not trying to flip you over
and do you dry here.
158
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,822
Look, squat on it for a night...
159
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,824
and let me know.
160
00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,187
- What? Hello?
- Hi.
161
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,814
I've been staring
at your number for hours.
162
00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,983
I got it from a friend.
163
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,529
Um, I'm not really
supposed to use this phone.
164
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,572
Why don't you come over?
165
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:13,534
My address is 1235 Radford Way.
166
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,286
Actually, I have I have
got a lot of work...
167
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:19,248
to do here... still.
168
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,250
I'm naked.
169
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,920
♪ Call me on the line ♪
170
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:29,007
♪ Call me, call me
any, any time ♪
171
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,593
♪ Call me ♪
173
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:41,937
Now, there is my little
German tourist.
174
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,941
Is this it?
Is this the whole outfit?
175
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,068
It's perfect.
177
00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:03,750
Yes. Use the map.
Use the map.
178
00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:14,178
Her is the
Statue of Liberty?"
179
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,723
You should have stuck
with the tour, Heinz.
180
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:20,142
Now you will have
to pay the penalty.
181
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:25,314
It's It's no problem.
I will just, um...
182
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,525
Let me slip on
a few of these babies.
183
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:38,660
- What was that?
- I did not hear anything.
184
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,787
Now come here,
185
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:43,832
you naughty little sight seer.
186
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:51,215
Wait a second.
I definitely heard something.
187
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,092
Oh, that's just Wolf.
He's been in there a while.
188
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,887
Now you concentrate
and stay in character.
189
00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,682
Wolf, settle down!
190
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:04,144
Now you just focus on your
little wiener.
191
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:08,565
I got to get out of here.
192
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:10,734
Don't worry. He never
gets all the way through.
193
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,154
Maybe you better go.
194
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,826
Wolf, you have got to stop
doing this to Mommy's friends.
195
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,621
Yes, he does.
Yes, he does.
196
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:25,123
He will be all right for a while.
Here, this is for you.
197
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,668
It's all I could grab.
198
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,212
- Did I bring you pleasure?
- Not really.
199
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,715
You better haul ass.
200
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,107
Ten dollars?
201
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,444
Yeah!
204
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,886
A martini and two olives.
205
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,889
Martini.
Two olives.
206
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,517
Any ladies need
some entertainment tonight?
207
00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,571
Eight fifty.
208
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,411
- Eight dollars?
- And fifty cents.
209
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,624
Well, how much just for
a plain cranberry juice?
210
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,752
- Uh, three dollars.
- I will go for that.
211
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,219
There you go.
That's eleven fifty.
212
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,722
Uh, no, no. Perhaps
you misunderstood me.
213
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:07,017
I wish to cancel my original order
of the martini and two olives...
214
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:11,021
and go for just the plain cranberry
Juice by itself for the three dollars.
215
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:14,066
And I apologize for any inconvenience
this may have caused you.
216
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,276
Uh, perhaps
you don't understand.
217
00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:20,656
If you don't pay me now,
I'm going to take this swizzle stick...
218
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,617
and, uh, I will be shoving that
right up your pee hole.
219
00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:28,747
- So that was eleven fifty, right?
- Right.
220
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,416
Okay, there's ten...
221
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,294
and six quarters, and...
222
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:37,256
Tell you what.
I will go work on your tip.
223
00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:47,641
I could not help
overhearing your Spanish.
224
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:51,520
- It's French.
- Ah. Yes.
225
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:54,815
French. Nice people.
May I?
226
00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,359
No...
227
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,531
Ooh.
Excuse me. These leather seats.
228
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:05,993
Would you like a martini
or cranberry juice?
229
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,329
- No.
- Kind of celebrating tonight.
230
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,168
Possible career change.
232
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,381
I'm pretty excited about it.
233
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:21,675
You want to get out of here?
234
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:28,307
Okay. I'm sorry.
235
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:31,351
I mean, together.
236
00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:43,989
What happened to the carpet?
237
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:48,118
Oh, it's one of those
18th century wet rugs.
238
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:59,880
Well, that's
certainly appreciated.
239
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,425
Hey, whoa.
240
00:23:03,509 --> 00:23:05,969
Maybe we should take care
of a little business first.
241
00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:08,680
If you prefer.
242
00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:12,601
I don't have a set price or anything,
but I have been getting ten dollars.
243
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,939
- I'm sorry?
- Well, that's my going rate.
244
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,858
But I'm willing to negotiate.
245
00:23:19,942 --> 00:23:24,738
That's funny.
But the price is 500.
246
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,783
You're going to pay me $500?
247
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:32,412
No, honey. You pay me.
248
00:23:32,496 --> 00:23:36,500
Oh, I get it.
This is some kind of role reversal.
249
00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,502
I will play along with this.
250
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,713
Okay, 300, 400, 500.
You are my hooker.
251
00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:44,424
No, seriously,
where's my ten dollars?
252
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:47,970
Look, asshole. I didn't come
all the way down here for nothing.
253
00:23:48,053 --> 00:23:51,515
Now give me my $500!
254
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,393
You give me ten dollars!
255
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,312
Five hundred, now!
256
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:02,651
You pay me ten dollars.
257
00:24:03,652 --> 00:24:06,321
Nice.
oh!
258
00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:19,126
Is that all you got?
259
00:24:33,432 --> 00:24:35,851
Ten dollars.
260
00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,992
No! Please don't!
261
00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:55,037
Five hundred dollars...
or the fish gets it.
262
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,414
Let's talk about this.
263
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:08,342
- Why do you have a picture of Antoine?
- Well, this is his place.
264
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,053
I'm watching his fish for him.
265
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,519
Please, don't tell him
about the shoes, huh?
266
00:25:39,331 --> 00:25:42,417
- Can I help you?
- Oh, my God.
267
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:45,921
I'm looking at a dead man.
268
00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:49,633
You know, Claire told me
that Antoine's place was messed up,
269
00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:52,469
but I had no idea.
270
00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,556
- Claire?
- The hooker you ass punched.
271
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,975
That was a misunderstanding.
272
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:02,646
And I intend to have everything
fixed by the time Antoine gets back.
273
00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:06,108
I'm just... I'm just a little
strapped for cash right now.
274
00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:08,861
Maybe there's something
we could work out.
275
00:26:08,944 --> 00:26:11,780
Claire mentioned
that you dabble in harlotry.
276
00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:14,116
- I'm sorry?
- You a man whore.
277
00:26:14,199 --> 00:26:16,785
- Well, I tried that for a couple hours...
- See this ring?
278
00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:18,787
Topaz.
That's my mother's birthstone.
279
00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,789
Got that from man whoring.
280
00:26:20,831 --> 00:26:23,417
See this key chain?
That's right.
281
00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:26,461
Mini yo yo. Know where I got
the money for that?
282
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,297
- Man whoring?
- Stock market.
283
00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:31,300
But I got the money for the stock market
from man whoring...
284
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:34,761
and representing
man whores like yourself.
285
00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:37,139
So...
you're a pimp?
286
00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:39,933
T.J. don't consider himself
no pimp.
287
00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:42,603
More of a male madam.
288
00:26:44,313 --> 00:26:46,773
That wasn't
too well thought out.
289
00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:49,109
Look at this proud fish.
290
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:51,528
It's like a coyote...
King of the jungle.
291
00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:55,616
It's like Antoine.
He don't need no pimp.
292
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,619
Then look at this
mid level fish here.
293
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:01,622
Works hotels, conventions,
senior centers.
294
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:05,876
I represent several man whores
at this level of the game.
295
00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,003
Now look at this little fella,
296
00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:11,965
at the bottom, trying to
get busy with the scuba man.
297
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:16,220
You know, if you work hard
and listen to me,
298
00:27:16,303 --> 00:27:18,222
this could be you.
299
00:27:18,305 --> 00:27:20,182
Well, thanks,
300
00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:23,310
but I already have a job.
301
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,354
I clean fish tanks.
302
00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:29,066
You going to make 150 dollars
cleaning fish tanks? - 150 dollars?
303
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,568
Yeah. Fish ain't
going to pay for all this.
304
00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,865
I don't know.
305
00:27:36,907 --> 00:27:39,409
You know, Antoine
has a bad temper.
306
00:27:39,493 --> 00:27:42,913
I remember once
I dropped a cigar ash on his rug.
307
00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:46,416
He made me pick it up
with my anus.
308
00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:51,588
Well, maybe I could do
a couple jobs,
309
00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:54,508
Just to get this place fixed up.
310
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:09,231
We got a lot of work to do.
311
00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,742
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
312
00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,121
♪ Where you from ♪
313
00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:26,540
- ♪ You sexy thing ♪
- ♪ Sexy thing, you ♪
314
00:28:26,582 --> 00:28:28,625
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
316
00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:33,130
♪ Since you came along ♪
317
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:34,590
♪ You sexy thing ♪
320
00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:06,079
You a man-whore now.
321
00:29:06,163 --> 00:29:08,123
I'm so proud.
322
00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:10,125
Thanks, T.J.
323
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:13,128
Now remember, it's a business.
324
00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:16,131
Never, ever fall in love.
325
00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:41,532
I'm upstairs!
326
00:29:59,132 --> 00:30:01,468
Okay, Deuce,
327
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:03,470
don't fall in love.
328
00:30:15,232 --> 00:30:16,984
I know what you're thinking.
329
00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:23,073
You're thinking those are
the biggest boobies you've ever seen.
330
00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,075
Can I please use your phone?
331
00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,077
I'm not your average woman.
332
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,079
I like sex,
333
00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:32,082
and I'm not afraid to ...
334
00:30:35,002 --> 00:30:37,337
Excuse me.
I just had pudding an hour ago.
335
00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:41,925
- Dear God.
- You ever parked your bicycle in an airplane hangar?
336
00:30:42,009 --> 00:30:47,514
- I'm sorry?
- You ever thrown a toothpick into a volcano?
337
00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:50,392
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
338
00:30:50,475 --> 00:30:53,061
Just making idle chitchat.
339
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:56,440
- Are you comfortable?
- Actually, no.
340
00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:59,610
oh, I'm sweating.
341
00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:01,612
You're getting me all hot.
342
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:04,406
You don't like my hair, do you?
343
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:07,409
- I think there has been a mistake.
- Did you say steak?
344
00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:10,370
- No, mistake.
- Oh, see, now you got me all excited.
345
00:31:10,412 --> 00:31:12,372
Look, I'm gay.
346
00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,583
Well, how gay are you?
347
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:17,920
Very, very gay. You must have dialed
the Very Gay Escort Service.
348
00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:19,922
Oh, shit.
349
00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:24,301
See, sometimes my fingers swell up
and I can't cleanly hit the numbers.
350
00:31:24,384 --> 00:31:28,138
- They should make a phone for full
figured girls - They should.
351
00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:31,725
So, what do we do?
352
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:39,483
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah!
353
00:31:39,566 --> 00:31:42,819
Cakes and pies. Cakes and pies.
354
00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:45,822
Okay, which pie
has the most sugar?
355
00:31:45,906 --> 00:31:48,325
- Peach cobbler.
- You win again.
356
00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:50,327
That's four games to one.
357
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:53,413
Well, fast food trivia
is my game, honey.
358
00:31:56,083 --> 00:32:00,003
I must tell you, nobody
has ever pleasured Jabba the Slut.
359
00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:04,466
Deuce, you have a way of satisfying
a woman that would sicken a normal man.
360
00:32:04,508 --> 00:32:06,510
I can't do this anymore.
361
00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:08,971
You must have
a magical "man vagina".
362
00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,098
- Huh?
- "Man vagina"
363
00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:16,186
It's a professional term we man-whores
use to describe our... he pussy.
364
00:32:16,270 --> 00:32:18,438
I'm not one
of your man whores.
365
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,982
Okay? I quit.
366
00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:22,484
You ungrateful he bitch.
367
00:32:22,568 --> 00:32:25,779
How about I get Antoine on the phone
in Switzerland and tell him...
368
00:32:25,863 --> 00:32:27,823
how you redecorated
his gay palace.
369
00:32:27,865 --> 00:32:31,326
I'm not
an ungrateful he bitch.
370
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:33,829
Just give me a minute
to think here.
371
00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,398
Thanks.
372
00:33:01,481 --> 00:33:04,359
- How is it going?
- Pretty good.
373
00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:07,487
- Hey, Dad, let me ask you a question.
- And what's that, son?
374
00:33:07,529 --> 00:33:10,991
Do you think it's wrong for a man
to accept money from a woman...
375
00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:13,535
to, you know,
show her a good time?
376
00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,746
I was just thinking about that
this morning.
377
00:33:15,829 --> 00:33:19,875
The idea of a man whore
is a relatively new idea.
378
00:33:22,252 --> 00:33:24,338
- Cologne?
- No, thanks.
379
00:33:26,798 --> 00:33:30,219
These women are looking for something
more than just sex. They want romance.
380
00:33:30,260 --> 00:33:32,513
What do you mean?
381
00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:36,725
Well, it was like when I met
your mom, God rest her soul.
382
00:33:36,808 --> 00:33:39,728
I didn't have so much
as a toilet to clean.
383
00:33:39,811 --> 00:33:43,732
Still, I was not going to pay her a dime
for sex, no matter what she was charging.
384
00:33:43,815 --> 00:33:45,609
What?
385
00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:48,946
Your mom could have any man
she wanted in that strip club,
386
00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:53,408
and this being my first time in Bangkok,
I was looking for a good time myself.
387
00:33:53,492 --> 00:33:55,744
- You met Mom where?
- It's not important. -
388
00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:58,455
The thing is,
she saw something in me...
389
00:33:58,539 --> 00:34:01,041
beyond the 200 dollar...
390
00:34:01,124 --> 00:34:03,043
A man with an eye
for adventure...
391
00:34:03,085 --> 00:34:05,212
who was not afraid
to risk it all.
392
00:34:05,254 --> 00:34:07,214
Dad, are you saying that...
393
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:14,596
So we took all her
one dollar bills off the stage,
394
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,598
said good-bye
to that donkey...
395
00:34:16,682 --> 00:34:20,644
and two days later
we were man and wife.
396
00:34:20,727 --> 00:34:23,146
And we were happily married
a long time.
397
00:34:23,230 --> 00:34:27,401
So, do you think I should be
more of a risk taker?
398
00:34:27,484 --> 00:34:29,486
Worked for me.
399
00:34:29,570 --> 00:34:31,572
Thanks, Pops.
400
00:34:35,701 --> 00:34:38,120
Well, son,
401
00:34:38,203 --> 00:34:41,123
looks like I have got
some work to do.
402
00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:47,754
You got yourself
a man whore.
404
00:34:49,798 --> 00:34:51,508
My man!
405
00:35:03,979 --> 00:35:06,815
- Is... Is Tina here?
- Yes.
406
00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:09,484
I'm Deuce Bigalow, your date.
407
00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:11,612
I will get my things.
408
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,453
I love this place.
409
00:35:19,494 --> 00:35:21,788
- Where you from again?
- Norway.
410
00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:24,791
- Freak!
- I hear great things about it.
411
00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:28,170
- Holy shit, it's Bigfoot!
- So, how'd you end up here?
412
00:35:28,253 --> 00:35:31,173
I had a pituitary gland procedure
at U.C.L.A. Medical Center ...
413
00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:34,176
and fell in love
with the people here.
414
00:35:34,218 --> 00:35:36,178
Hey, keep it in the circus!
415
00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:40,182
This place has gone way downhill.
What do you say we go somewhere else?
416
00:35:40,224 --> 00:35:42,184
That's a huge bitch!
417
00:35:43,644 --> 00:35:46,396
I'm sorry about
what those people said.
418
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,899
You should be able to go
on all the rides.
419
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,487
I had a really great time,
420
00:35:53,529 --> 00:35:55,572
but I should go...
421
00:35:55,656 --> 00:35:57,491
Easy. Easy!
422
00:35:57,533 --> 00:35:59,243
Hey, easy!
423
00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:01,578
Wait! Wait!
424
00:36:01,662 --> 00:36:03,664
ah! Wait, wait!
425
00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:07,042
I know what we could do!
I got it!
426
00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:11,338
Give me a second to think here!
Wait! Whoa!
427
00:36:11,421 --> 00:36:16,009
Oh, yes. Ohh!
429
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:27,062
Oh, God!
430
00:36:27,145 --> 00:36:31,066
Oh, no one has ever
touched my feet before.
432
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,999
Deuce Bigalow?
433
00:36:47,082 --> 00:36:48,917
Detective Fowler,
L.A.P.D.
434
00:36:49,001 --> 00:36:52,880
I want to ask you a few questions
about Antoine Laconte,
435
00:36:52,921 --> 00:36:56,550
known gigolo, male prostitute.
436
00:36:56,633 --> 00:36:59,595
I'm just taking care
of his fish.
437
00:36:59,636 --> 00:37:01,471
I bet you are.
438
00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:03,432
You make me sick.
439
00:37:03,515 --> 00:37:08,353
You're going to tell me that gigantic woman
didn't just pay you to have sex with her?
440
00:37:08,437 --> 00:37:11,064
- No!
- Let me tell you something, mister.
441
00:37:11,148 --> 00:37:15,402
I can sleep at night because I make
a decent, God fearing, honest living.
442
00:37:15,444 --> 00:37:18,363
I'm sure you do,
but there's nothing I can tell you.
443
00:37:18,447 --> 00:37:20,282
Oh, I think there is.
444
00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:22,242
What do you think of this?
445
00:37:22,284 --> 00:37:25,287
- You think I can get anything for it?
You know, money? - I don't know!
446
00:37:25,329 --> 00:37:29,124
- Yeah, you think I'm a loser, don't you?
- No, I don't.
447
00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:33,629
Well, maybe I am a loser, but I'm
a loser who can bust your ass.
448
00:37:33,670 --> 00:37:37,257
You tell Antoine
I'm gonna nail him.
449
00:37:54,274 --> 00:37:56,193
Hello.
450
00:37:56,276 --> 00:37:58,946
- Is this Ruth?
- Yeah. I'll be right down...
451
00:37:58,987 --> 00:38:01,406
Goddamn it!
452
00:38:01,490 --> 00:38:03,450
- Nice day, huh?
- Yeah.
453
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:05,494
Shove it up your ass!
454
00:38:10,332 --> 00:38:12,584
Geez, you okay?
455
00:38:12,668 --> 00:38:15,671
I'm sorry.
I have Tourette's syndrome.
456
00:38:15,754 --> 00:38:19,258
It causes me to have
these uncontrollable outbursts.
457
00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:21,844
- It's not so bad.
- Yeah, it's okay.
458
00:38:21,927 --> 00:38:23,846
I mean, you get used to it.
459
00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:26,265
Ball sweat!
Anus!
460
00:38:26,348 --> 00:38:28,267
Anus licker!
461
00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,520
You know,
there are some places...
462
00:38:31,603 --> 00:38:33,522
I can't go...
463
00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,774
Nipple biter!
464
00:38:37,192 --> 00:38:40,112
What are you talking about?
I barely notice it.
465
00:38:40,195 --> 00:38:42,322
Scrotum!
466
00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:44,783
Sperm!
Sperm face!
467
00:38:45,951 --> 00:38:48,495
I just can't go near
places like churches...
468
00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:50,163
Ha ha!
Vulva!
469
00:38:50,247 --> 00:38:53,876
Elementary schools...
470
00:38:53,959 --> 00:38:55,878
Pretty much anywhere.
471
00:38:55,961 --> 00:38:58,380
Fart!
Dildo!
472
00:38:58,463 --> 00:38:59,715
Big... Big, big titties!
473
00:39:00,799 --> 00:39:03,969
Shit! Shit whore!
474
00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:08,307
Let's put the top up.
I'll put on the air conditioning.
475
00:39:11,310 --> 00:39:13,854
You probably want
to take me home, don't you?
476
00:39:13,896 --> 00:39:15,856
No.
477
00:39:17,399 --> 00:39:19,359
Hey, I got an idea.
479
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,658
I'm nervous.
There are a lot of people here.
480
00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:28,660
- Don't worry...
- Crap muncher!
481
00:39:28,744 --> 00:39:30,662
"Crap muncher"?
482
00:39:30,746 --> 00:39:33,332
I know!
He was definitely safe!
483
00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:36,877
- What do you think about the other team?
- Assholes!
484
00:39:36,919 --> 00:39:39,379
Right.
And their pitcher...
485
00:39:39,421 --> 00:39:42,382
I mean, stop stalling
and throw it already.
486
00:39:42,424 --> 00:39:44,676
Ball hair!
Ball hair!
487
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,012
Yeah, ball hair!
488
00:39:47,095 --> 00:39:50,182
What we need is a strike hair.
489
00:39:50,265 --> 00:39:53,060
That other team is a bunch of
high-priced babies!
490
00:39:53,101 --> 00:39:55,062
- Whores!
- Yeah! You tell 'em, baby!
491
00:40:00,359 --> 00:40:02,444
They called him out?
492
00:40:02,528 --> 00:40:05,113
- Scrotum licker!
- Yeah!
493
00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:07,616
Piss face!
Piss face! Piss face!
494
00:40:07,658 --> 00:40:12,621
Piss face!
Piss face! Piss face! Piss face!
495
00:40:12,663 --> 00:40:15,415
Piss face! Piss face!
Piss face!
496
00:40:17,543 --> 00:40:21,296
Deuce, you the best he bitch
in my man stable.
497
00:40:21,380 --> 00:40:24,800
If I had two more man vaginas like you,
I'd be a millionaire.
498
00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:27,302
T.J., I think
I'm going to get out.
499
00:40:27,344 --> 00:40:29,304
Sit down.
500
00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:34,059
- This next date is what we man pimps call a doozy.
- What's wrong with this one?
501
00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:35,936
- Nothing.
- Have you seen her?
502
00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:38,397
What is she, 80?
A hunchback?
503
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,443
She just got out of college. Her girlfriends
pitched in to get her a little beefcake.
504
00:40:43,527 --> 00:40:46,905
- She thinks it's a blind date.
- It's a guy, isn't it?
505
00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:51,952
I don't think so,
but I have been fooled before.
506
00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:16,602
You must be Kate.
507
00:41:16,685 --> 00:41:18,604
Excuse me.
Waiter.
508
00:41:18,687 --> 00:41:22,357
Uh, yeah, sorry.
We're busy tonight.
509
00:41:24,526 --> 00:41:26,445
- All right, number four?
- Yes, thank you.
510
00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:32,951
- I'm Kate.
- Are you sure?
511
00:41:33,035 --> 00:41:35,037
I think so.
512
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,539
I'm sorry.
You're just not what I expected.
513
00:41:38,624 --> 00:41:41,335
- Really.
- No, no.
514
00:41:41,418 --> 00:41:44,588
I mean, in a good way.
515
00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:48,550
They did not say
you were so... perfect.
516
00:41:48,634 --> 00:41:50,677
"Perfect"
517
00:41:51,929 --> 00:41:54,890
Sally and Megan did not tell me
a lot about you.
518
00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:57,893
Who?
519
00:41:57,976 --> 00:41:59,895
Oh, right, uh...
520
00:41:59,978 --> 00:42:03,815
Well, I clean tanks... ers.
Tankers.
521
00:42:04,983 --> 00:42:07,402
I'm sorry.
I'm still kind of shocked.
522
00:42:07,486 --> 00:42:10,239
I mean, you are...
You are really normal.
523
00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:13,325
Thank you.
524
00:42:13,408 --> 00:42:16,036
My last couple of dates
have been horrible.
525
00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:20,290
- You get fixed up on a lot of blind dates?
- Only recently.
526
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:25,045
- How about you?
- This is my first.
527
00:42:25,128 --> 00:42:28,549
- I hope this place is okay.
- Are you kidding? It's terrific.
528
00:42:31,009 --> 00:42:32,886
Oh, God.
529
00:42:32,928 --> 00:42:36,014
- Are you okay?
- Is this one of those...
530
00:42:36,098 --> 00:42:38,225
It's a sushi bar.
531
00:42:38,267 --> 00:42:40,435
- Are you allergic?
- You could say that.
532
00:42:40,519 --> 00:42:43,522
That's a dog faced
puffer fish over there.
533
00:42:43,605 --> 00:42:47,442
He's not even fully matured yet.
He's a teenager, for crying out loud!
534
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,865
Can I ask you
to stop that, please?
536
00:42:57,327 --> 00:43:01,498
I don't see how it could
possibly be pleasurable for a woman.
537
00:43:01,582 --> 00:43:04,459
I just don't think it's natural.
538
00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:06,795
You're not supposed to
go up there.
539
00:43:06,837 --> 00:43:09,798
To tell you the truth,
I don't know how men do it either.
540
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,093
You're not curious
Just to try something new?
541
00:43:13,177 --> 00:43:16,138
I'm just not into it.
542
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:19,641
- So space exploration is definitely out for you.
- Definitely.
543
00:43:19,683 --> 00:43:22,644
I mean, more power to any woman
who wants to be an astronaut.
544
00:43:22,686 --> 00:43:24,646
I just would not do it.
545
00:43:24,688 --> 00:43:27,649
Frankly, I would rather
take it up the butt.
546
00:43:31,361 --> 00:43:34,323
So you think
this is a good spot?
547
00:43:35,490 --> 00:43:37,451
Perfect.
548
00:43:39,912 --> 00:43:41,830
- Life is funny, huh?
549
00:43:41,914 --> 00:43:43,832
Some pretty close calls.
550
00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:48,170
Wonder if he knew
how close he came to the end.
551
00:43:48,253 --> 00:43:50,672
Oh, he knew.
552
00:43:50,756 --> 00:43:54,343
I bet he never thought he would be
held by such a lovely woman.
553
00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,345
Deuce.
554
00:43:56,428 --> 00:44:00,516
You're embarrassing me
in front of our new friend.
555
00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:13,487
That was a really nice thing
you did tonight.
556
00:44:15,072 --> 00:44:18,033
Too bad it's a freshwater fish.
557
00:44:18,075 --> 00:44:20,786
I'm kidding.
558
00:44:20,869 --> 00:44:22,788
I'm just joking.
559
00:44:24,623 --> 00:44:26,500
♪ Takes some time ♪
560
00:44:26,542 --> 00:44:29,336
♪ For our feelings to grow ♪
561
00:44:29,419 --> 00:44:33,006
- Good night.
562
00:44:33,048 --> 00:44:35,175
- ♪ You are so close now ♪
- Good night.
563
00:44:35,217 --> 00:44:38,804
♪ I can't let you go ♪
565
00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:45,853
♪ And I can't let go ♪
566
00:44:45,894 --> 00:44:49,857
♪ With you I'm not shy ♪
567
00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:52,234
♪ To show the way I feel ♪
568
00:44:52,317 --> 00:44:54,695
♪ With you I might try ♪
569
00:44:56,113 --> 00:44:58,532
You have had yourself
an interesting little evening.
570
00:44:58,574 --> 00:45:02,244
Just taking care of his fish, huh?
She looks like a nice catch.
571
00:45:02,327 --> 00:45:05,706
- It was a first date.
- Listen up, man whore.
572
00:45:05,747 --> 00:45:07,708
I ought to bust you right now.
573
00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:11,211
We just had sushi. - "Sushi"? Is
that what they call it nowadays?
574
00:45:11,253 --> 00:45:13,881
I'm up on your
man whore slang.
575
00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:19,052
All right, fine, why don't I just go
have a chat with your spicy tuna roll.
576
00:45:19,094 --> 00:45:20,596
No, don't!
577
00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:24,850
All right.
Okay, Deuce.
578
00:45:24,933 --> 00:45:26,894
No problem, baby.
Relax.
579
00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:30,397
Maybe I'll even let this one
slide for some information.
580
00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:32,774
Like Antoine's black book.
581
00:45:32,858 --> 00:45:35,944
- You know, the one with his list of clients.
- I don't know anything about it.
582
00:45:36,028 --> 00:45:38,280
Oh, yeah?
You know anything about this?
583
00:45:39,364 --> 00:45:41,617
Look.
See that red spot?
584
00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:45,037
That wasn't there this morning.
You know what it is?
585
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,457
Maybe it's a rash, something you got
from jogging. How the hell do I know?
586
00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:51,460
Get it away from me.
587
00:45:51,543 --> 00:45:53,462
Maybe you're right.
588
00:45:53,545 --> 00:45:55,881
You got three days, Bigalow.
589
00:46:03,805 --> 00:46:07,142
T.J., I really like this girl.
590
00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:11,563
Deuce, don't be falling in love with no
she john. You are in it for the money.
591
00:46:11,647 --> 00:46:14,983
Antoine will be back soon.
Apartment is not going to pay to fix itself.
592
00:46:15,067 --> 00:46:16,985
I know.
593
00:46:17,069 --> 00:46:20,906
- Hey, there has been this detective following me.
- Goddamn it, white boy!
594
00:46:20,989 --> 00:46:24,159
- You did not tell him anything about me, did you?
- No, but what should I do?
595
00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:28,789
- About what?
- About the cop.
596
00:46:28,830 --> 00:46:31,250
Would you stop mentioning
the damn cops!
597
00:46:31,333 --> 00:46:34,253
Don't make me
he bitch man slap you.
598
00:46:45,055 --> 00:46:48,517
Hi, I'm Deuce Bigalow,
your man whore for this evening.
599
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,769
Hi, I'm Carol...
600
00:46:53,856 --> 00:46:56,483
I have narcolepsy.
It's a sleeping disorder.
601
00:46:56,525 --> 00:46:58,318
It isn't the worst thing.
602
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,822
I'm just not allowed to fly
in a plane or drive a car...
603
00:47:01,905 --> 00:47:03,866
or work in a gun range.
604
00:47:03,907 --> 00:47:06,493
Yes.
605
00:47:24,469 --> 00:47:26,388
This is such a treat.
606
00:47:26,471 --> 00:47:30,392
I have always wanted to try soup,
but there is the fear of drowning.
607
00:47:40,068 --> 00:47:41,987
I really had fun.
608
00:47:42,070 --> 00:47:45,199
- Are you going to be okay?
- I will be fine.
609
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,201
- You sure?
- Yes.
610
00:47:47,242 --> 00:47:49,536
Good night.
611
00:48:12,601 --> 00:48:16,897
♪ I can't get enough
of you, baby ♪
612
00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:19,566
♪ I can't get enough
of you, baby ♪
613
00:48:19,608 --> 00:48:22,069
♪ Yes, it's true ♪
614
00:48:23,487 --> 00:48:26,073
♪ Yes, it's true ♪
615
00:48:28,534 --> 00:48:31,912
♪ Whenever we kiss
I get to feeling like this ♪
616
00:48:31,954 --> 00:48:35,916
♪ I get to wishing
that there were two of you ♪
617
00:48:35,999 --> 00:48:38,043
- ♪
- Come on. You can dance.
618
00:48:38,126 --> 00:48:42,589
♪ Come on, baby
It feels so nice ♪
619
00:48:42,673 --> 00:48:44,800
♪ I want your arms to ♪
620
00:48:44,883 --> 00:48:48,804
♪ Wrap around me twice ♪
621
00:48:51,682 --> 00:48:55,811
♪ I can't get enough
of you, baby ♪
622
00:48:55,894 --> 00:48:58,814
♪ I can't get enough
of you, baby ♪
623
00:48:58,897 --> 00:49:00,148
♪ Right or wrong ♪
624
00:49:02,568 --> 00:49:04,486
♪ Hey, right or wrong ♪
625
00:49:11,869 --> 00:49:15,455
- ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪
- Oh, Deuce.
626
00:49:15,539 --> 00:49:18,375
- You look great.
- Thanks.
627
00:49:18,458 --> 00:49:20,127
I want you to meet my roommate.
628
00:49:20,210 --> 00:49:22,004
Who's there?
Kate?
629
00:49:22,087 --> 00:49:25,549
- I hear someone.
- It's just me and my friend.
630
00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:28,260
Are you sure?
I hear three people.
631
00:49:28,343 --> 00:49:30,304
You are the third person.
632
00:49:30,387 --> 00:49:32,347
Oh.
Oh, okay.
633
00:49:32,431 --> 00:49:35,851
She is newly blind.
She is still getting adjusted.
634
00:49:35,893 --> 00:49:39,354
Bergita, this is Deuce.
635
00:49:39,438 --> 00:49:41,648
I think there's something
wrong with Cassie.
636
00:49:41,690 --> 00:49:44,193
Oh, honey.
637
00:49:44,276 --> 00:49:46,028
This is not Cassie.
638
00:49:46,111 --> 00:49:48,113
Here she is.
639
00:49:50,199 --> 00:49:52,367
Oh, there you are.
640
00:49:52,451 --> 00:49:54,995
- It's nice to meet you.
- Hi.
641
00:49:56,872 --> 00:50:01,502
Once you try it for the first time,
you are pretty happy with the results.
642
00:50:01,543 --> 00:50:04,505
I have never met a hair transplant
technician before.
643
00:50:11,553 --> 00:50:15,724
Oh, man, I forgot.
It's my dad's birthday.
644
00:50:15,807 --> 00:50:18,227
- Let's go see him.
- He's working.
645
00:50:18,268 --> 00:50:20,229
So?
What does he do?
646
00:50:21,438 --> 00:50:25,400
He is in the restaurant industry.
647
00:50:27,694 --> 00:50:31,198
Kate, I'd like you
to meet my dad, Bob Bigalow.
648
00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:33,575
Bob, Kate.
649
00:50:33,659 --> 00:50:35,577
Hi.
650
00:50:35,661 --> 00:50:37,579
Son, I'm very proud of you.
651
00:50:37,663 --> 00:50:40,582
She is a lovely young lady.
652
00:50:40,666 --> 00:50:43,085
Thank you.
653
00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:46,088
It's so nice to meet you.
Happy birthday.
654
00:50:46,171 --> 00:50:48,757
- Thank you.
- Well, we should probably be going.
655
00:50:48,841 --> 00:50:51,176
Deuce.
656
00:50:51,260 --> 00:50:54,096
Dad probably has a lot
of paperwork to do, and...
657
00:50:54,179 --> 00:50:56,849
No, the paper is
completely stocked.
658
00:50:56,932 --> 00:51:01,603
I have got plenty of time to get acquainted
with the woman who has made my boy so happy.
659
00:51:01,687 --> 00:51:04,189
We got you a cake.
660
00:51:04,273 --> 00:51:06,191
Deuce said it's your favorite.
661
00:51:06,275 --> 00:51:10,112
- We had to go to a Filipino bakery to get it.
- You did not.
662
00:51:11,196 --> 00:51:13,115
You did!
663
00:51:13,198 --> 00:51:15,409
Raspberry bibingka.
664
00:51:15,450 --> 00:51:17,411
Ah, you should not have.
665
00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:20,080
My wife, God rest her soul,
666
00:51:20,122 --> 00:51:22,291
use to make this all the time.
667
00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,293
You would have liked her.
668
00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:26,295
Bangkok Betty.
669
00:51:27,796 --> 00:51:31,758
She had the most amazing mouth.
It paid for our honeymoon.
670
00:51:33,302 --> 00:51:34,887
We should probably be going.
671
00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:37,890
Deuce, it's your dad's birthday.
672
00:51:40,642 --> 00:51:44,771
Hi. Bob, we have an overflowing toilet
in the ladies' bathroom.
673
00:51:44,855 --> 00:51:47,816
There is shit everywhere.
It's a real mess.
674
00:51:47,858 --> 00:51:51,820
- You think you could take care of that for me?
- No worries, Vic. Right on it.
675
00:51:51,862 --> 00:51:54,823
- I would like you to meet my son's girlfriend Kate.
- Kate, nice to meet you.
676
00:51:54,865 --> 00:51:56,450
- You, too.
- Hi, Deuce.
677
00:51:56,533 --> 00:51:58,911
So could you get in there, Bob?
678
00:51:58,994 --> 00:52:03,165
I got a party of ten coming in,
and I am up to my ankles in human crap.
679
00:52:03,248 --> 00:52:05,459
It's a real stinker
back there.
680
00:52:05,542 --> 00:52:07,503
Sure.
681
00:52:07,544 --> 00:52:10,172
Looks like I had better
get back to work.
682
00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:12,799
It's a pleasure
meeting you, dear.
683
00:52:12,841 --> 00:52:15,844
Warms my heart
Just being in your presence.
684
00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:18,430
Thank you.
685
00:52:18,514 --> 00:52:20,432
See you, son.
686
00:52:24,311 --> 00:52:28,232
See, my dad is one of those guys, he likes to
be involved in every facet of the business.
687
00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:32,277
- It's okay.
- No problem to small or big.
They come to him for everything.
688
00:52:32,361 --> 00:52:35,197
Deuce, it's all right.
689
00:52:36,823 --> 00:52:40,118
It's not his restaurant.
690
00:52:40,202 --> 00:52:43,205
My dad is not even a waiter.
691
00:52:43,288 --> 00:52:46,708
He is the men's room attendant.
I'm sorry.
692
00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:49,211
Don't be silly.
693
00:52:50,504 --> 00:52:52,798
You know what my dad does?
694
00:52:52,881 --> 00:52:55,217
He's an aeronautical engineer.
695
00:53:06,436 --> 00:53:08,397
Bob?
696
00:53:13,944 --> 00:53:16,864
Want to blow out your candle?
697
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,334
now that is good cake.
698
00:53:37,843 --> 00:53:40,721
I had a really
nice time tonight.
699
00:53:40,762 --> 00:53:43,348
I find that hard to believe.
700
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,354
I have never met anyone like you.
701
00:53:49,438 --> 00:53:52,024
Good.
702
00:53:53,233 --> 00:53:55,152
I have to see you again.
703
00:53:57,571 --> 00:54:00,991
When we go inside, try to be quiet
so we don't wake up Bergita.
704
00:54:03,785 --> 00:54:07,539
♪ With you I'm not shy ♪
705
00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:10,918
♪ To show the way I feel ♪
706
00:54:10,959 --> 00:54:13,879
♪ With you I might try ♪
707
00:54:13,962 --> 00:54:17,090
♪ My secrets to reveal ♪
708
00:54:17,174 --> 00:54:20,385
♪ For you are a magnet ♪
709
00:54:20,469 --> 00:54:24,431
♪ And I am steel ♪
710
00:54:24,515 --> 00:54:26,475
Why don't I get the light?
711
00:54:28,477 --> 00:54:30,979
Hang on. I'll be right back.
Be right back.
713
00:54:41,156 --> 00:54:42,950
You are good.
714
00:54:53,293 --> 00:54:55,671
- Hi.
- Hi.
715
00:54:58,382 --> 00:55:00,342
Are you all right?
716
00:55:00,384 --> 00:55:03,470
I need you to be
okay with something.
717
00:55:03,554 --> 00:55:06,014
What? I'm okay
with everything.
718
00:55:06,056 --> 00:55:08,141
Deuce.
719
00:55:08,183 --> 00:55:10,978
There may be things
about me that you don't like.
720
00:55:11,061 --> 00:55:13,939
I like everything about you.
721
00:55:14,022 --> 00:55:18,068
I mean, physically.
722
00:55:18,151 --> 00:55:21,572
So you are taller than me.
Big deal. I'll get over it.
723
00:55:21,655 --> 00:55:24,241
It's not that.
724
00:55:24,324 --> 00:55:26,243
What?
725
00:55:26,326 --> 00:55:29,997
If you were to find out
something about me...
726
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,166
and my body that was
maybe a little different...
727
00:55:33,208 --> 00:55:35,752
than what you were used to,
would that be okay?
728
00:55:35,836 --> 00:55:39,882
There could be nothing
on your body that I would not like.
729
00:55:39,965 --> 00:55:42,009
What are you talking about?
730
00:55:43,677 --> 00:55:47,973
What do you have, like, six toes
or something? I can live with that.
731
00:55:48,056 --> 00:55:50,350
Deuce, I have to tell you,
732
00:55:50,392 --> 00:55:52,728
- I have a...
733
00:56:24,885 --> 00:56:27,888
Oh, my God. I'm sorry!
734
00:56:27,930 --> 00:56:31,558
- I tried to tell you.
- No, it's my fault.
735
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,394
I should not have
pulled it so hard.
736
00:56:34,436 --> 00:56:36,480
If you want to leave,
I completely understand.
737
00:56:36,563 --> 00:56:39,358
I don't want to leave.
I'm sorry I had that reaction.
738
00:56:39,441 --> 00:56:41,985
I just... I got a lot of things
going on in my life recently,
739
00:56:42,069 --> 00:56:44,112
and they all sort of culminated
when your leg fell off...
740
00:56:44,196 --> 00:56:46,198
Came off...
Disconnected...
741
00:56:46,281 --> 00:56:48,951
- Just get out!
- Oh, my God!
742
00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:50,869
Please leave.
743
00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:56,959
Kate!
I am sorry!
744
00:56:57,042 --> 00:56:59,294
Just go home.
745
00:56:59,378 --> 00:57:01,713
Don't I have a say in this?
746
00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:03,715
Hand me my leg.
747
00:57:03,799 --> 00:57:06,635
- Then will you come out and talk?
- I don't know.
748
00:57:14,852 --> 00:57:16,979
Are you sure you want to stay?
749
00:57:17,062 --> 00:57:20,858
Yes, but only if
you come out of there.
750
00:57:22,150 --> 00:57:26,113
I need to know how you feel
about all this.
751
00:57:26,196 --> 00:57:29,283
The same as I did an hour ago,
752
00:57:29,324 --> 00:57:32,619
when I thought to myself,
"I am the luckiest guy in the world...
753
00:57:32,703 --> 00:57:35,205
to be with her leg...
With you."
755
00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:09,615
Is this normal?
My face is numb.
756
00:58:09,698 --> 00:58:12,743
It's perfectly normal
in hair replacement surgery.
757
00:58:12,826 --> 00:58:15,954
The local anesthetic has numbed
the major nerves in your face,
758
00:58:16,038 --> 00:58:17,998
Just like at the dentist.
760
00:58:21,668 --> 00:58:26,173
You are Kate's best friends, and I know
your opinions mean a lot to her.
761
00:58:26,256 --> 00:58:30,010
And... I'd like to get
really serious with her.
762
00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:33,055
- You are a prostitute!
- Not anymore.
763
00:58:33,096 --> 00:58:35,057
And it's "man whore".
764
00:58:35,098 --> 00:58:38,977
Anyway, I just quit.
I mean, Kate's the one for me.
765
00:58:39,061 --> 00:58:41,188
Listen, you were only supposed to
go out with her one night,
766
00:58:41,271 --> 00:58:43,482
show her a good time, and then
get the hell out of her life.
767
00:58:43,565 --> 00:58:46,527
- You know she is not normal.
- She is not like other girls.
768
00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:49,655
You know what her problem is?
Friends like you.
769
00:58:49,738 --> 00:58:51,865
She is perfect.
She is kind,
770
00:58:51,907 --> 00:58:55,619
she is sweet, she's funny,
and she likes me.
771
00:58:55,702 --> 00:58:57,788
Now I came here
to give you your money back...
772
00:58:57,871 --> 00:59:01,625
The money you paid a stranger
to have sex with your friend.
773
00:59:03,752 --> 00:59:07,214
Hey! You stay away
from her, man whore!
774
00:59:07,297 --> 00:59:10,968
Hiya, Deuce. Your three days
are up, lover boy.
775
00:59:11,051 --> 00:59:14,388
- So where is Antoine's black book?
- I've looked everywhere.
776
00:59:14,429 --> 00:59:17,641
Listen, punk, you are aiding
and abetting a known criminal.
777
00:59:17,724 --> 00:59:20,060
Do the initials T and J mean
anything to you?
778
00:59:20,102 --> 00:59:22,563
turkey ?
I don't...
779
00:59:22,604 --> 00:59:27,317
You better show some respect, or I'm going to rip
that pleasure giving tongue out of your head!
780
00:59:27,401 --> 00:59:29,403
One more thing.
781
00:59:29,444 --> 00:59:32,239
I was at the precinct, and I
really had to use the john,
782
00:59:32,322 --> 00:59:34,491
and it's pretty filthy in there
and I was in kind of a hurry...
783
00:59:34,575 --> 00:59:37,578
and I didn't have time to use one of
those, you know, paper ass gaskets.
784
00:59:37,619 --> 00:59:41,456
I was doing my business, and something
sort of splashed up on me, all over.
785
00:59:41,498 --> 00:59:45,252
What do you do in situations like that?
You think I will be all right?
786
00:59:45,294 --> 00:59:48,797
- I think you are pretty safe.
- I better be!
787
00:59:54,136 --> 00:59:57,222
♪ - Ugly is
not a problem for this guy.
788
00:59:57,306 --> 00:59:59,516
My man would stick his dick
in a he monkey.
789
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,518
All right.
I will catch you later.
790
01:00:03,353 --> 01:00:05,856
What up, Deucey?
791
01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:08,567
You should know,
that cop won't leave me alone.
792
01:00:08,650 --> 01:00:11,528
- ♪
- What about the cop?
793
01:00:11,612 --> 01:00:14,740
- He's been asking questions.
- Goddamn white boy.
794
01:00:14,823 --> 01:00:17,367
Anyway, it doesn't matter
to me anymore. I quit.
795
01:00:17,451 --> 01:00:19,494
What about Antoine's apartment?
796
01:00:19,578 --> 01:00:22,581
I'm going to get the rest of the money
the old fashioned way.
797
01:00:22,664 --> 01:00:24,583
You going to steal it?
798
01:00:26,627 --> 01:00:28,545
See you, T.J.
799
01:00:36,345 --> 01:00:39,139
I just quit!
I'm never doing it again!
800
01:00:39,181 --> 01:00:43,393
- You lied to me!
- Listen, please. It's not what you think.
801
01:00:43,477 --> 01:00:46,146
You were paid to go out with me!
802
01:00:52,152 --> 01:00:54,530
- You want breakfast?
- Kate!
803
01:00:54,571 --> 01:00:59,326
Please go away!
I don't want to see you again!
804
01:00:59,368 --> 01:01:02,746
Me neither.
805
01:01:02,829 --> 01:01:04,873
I'm sorry.
806
01:01:14,675 --> 01:01:18,095
♪ I feel sad when you're sad ♪
807
01:01:18,178 --> 01:01:21,265
♪ I feel glad when you're glad ♪
808
01:01:21,348 --> 01:01:25,727
♪ And if you only knew
what I'm going through ♪
809
01:01:25,811 --> 01:01:28,355
♪ I just can't smile ♪
810
01:01:28,397 --> 01:01:30,691
♪ With out you ♪
811
01:01:35,863 --> 01:01:39,533
♪ You came along
just like a song ♪
812
01:01:39,575 --> 01:01:41,994
♪ And brightened my day ♪
813
01:01:42,077 --> 01:01:45,038
♪ Who'd have believed
you were part of a dream ♪
814
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:49,710
♪ And now it all seems
a light year away ♪
815
01:01:49,751 --> 01:01:55,340
♪ And you know
I can't smile with out you ♪
816
01:01:55,424 --> 01:01:58,552
♪ I can't smile without you ♪
817
01:01:58,594 --> 01:02:02,264
♪ I can't laugh I can't sing ♪
818
01:02:02,347 --> 01:02:05,684
♪ I'm finding it hard
to do anything ♪
819
01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:11,064
I'm 1,500 short.
Is there anything else you can do?
820
01:02:11,106 --> 01:02:14,693
Listen, I came all over the place...
Down from six thousand.
821
01:02:14,776 --> 01:02:17,070
This is a custom hand job.
822
01:02:17,112 --> 01:02:20,282
- Let me pay you monthly.
- The last time I did not get the money up front,
823
01:02:20,365 --> 01:02:22,826
I got the big stiff.
824
01:02:25,412 --> 01:02:28,290
Hello?
- What the hell are you doing
picking up my phone?
825
01:02:28,332 --> 01:02:32,920
- I found the coral you wanted.
- If you are doing anything
I disapprove of, I will kill you!
826
01:02:32,961 --> 01:02:36,882
Hello, sir. No understand. No speak english.
827
01:02:36,965 --> 01:02:39,259
- Murder! I will kill you!
828
01:02:44,264 --> 01:02:46,767
Hey, Antoine. It's Elaine.
829
01:02:46,850 --> 01:02:48,810
I really need to see you again.
830
01:02:48,852 --> 01:02:51,271
Same price, same place?
831
01:02:52,814 --> 01:02:55,526
I'll have the money.
832
01:02:55,609 --> 01:02:59,112
Hi. Um, this isn't
Antoine,
833
01:02:59,154 --> 01:03:01,114
but, uh, maybe we
can work something out.
834
01:03:06,453 --> 01:03:08,705
Hi.
835
01:03:22,928 --> 01:03:24,888
I'm Deuce.
836
01:03:42,656 --> 01:03:45,325
- Stop.
- Why?
837
01:03:45,409 --> 01:03:48,704
- You don't want to have sex.
- Yes, I do.
838
01:03:48,787 --> 01:03:50,998
I think we both do.
839
01:03:54,376 --> 01:03:56,837
Don't you find me attractive?
840
01:03:56,879 --> 01:04:01,008
Are you kidding? You are one of
the hottest women I've ever seen.
841
01:04:01,049 --> 01:04:03,677
Easy, easy.
842
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,513
I just can't do this.
843
01:04:06,597 --> 01:04:08,765
I'm head over heels for a girl,
844
01:04:08,849 --> 01:04:11,852
and we are going through a rough time,
me being a man whore and all.
845
01:04:11,894 --> 01:04:14,771
But I know it's going to work out,
because I love her.
846
01:04:16,690 --> 01:04:19,067
Well, she is a lucky girl.
847
01:04:20,152 --> 01:04:22,196
At least emotionally.
848
01:04:22,237 --> 01:04:25,240
My guy used to be like that.
849
01:04:25,282 --> 01:04:29,703
Hey.
Hang in there.
850
01:04:31,955 --> 01:04:34,875
Things have a way
of working out.
851
01:04:39,713 --> 01:04:42,508
Hey.
Where you going?
852
01:04:44,593 --> 01:04:47,429
Well, I thought we talked
and you understood.
853
01:04:47,513 --> 01:04:51,433
I understand. But the fact is,
I still paid for your services.
854
01:04:51,517 --> 01:04:54,353
What did you have in mind?
856
01:05:04,404 --> 01:05:08,283
♪ Baby, let's get together ♪
857
01:05:08,325 --> 01:05:11,411
♪ Honey, honey me and you ♪
858
01:05:12,454 --> 01:05:14,665
♪ And do the things Ah ♪
859
01:05:14,748 --> 01:05:17,209
♪ Do the things ♪
860
01:05:17,292 --> 01:05:20,587
♪ That we like to do ♪
861
01:05:20,629 --> 01:05:23,757
♪ Oh, do a little dance ♪
862
01:05:23,841 --> 01:05:27,594
♪ Make a little love
Get down tonight ♪
863
01:05:27,636 --> 01:05:29,847
♪ Get down tonight ♪
864
01:05:29,930 --> 01:05:32,516
♪ Do a little dance ♪
865
01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:36,603
♪ Make a little love
Get down tonight ♪
866
01:05:36,645 --> 01:05:39,731
♪ Get down tonight, baby
Get down, get down ♪
867
01:05:39,815 --> 01:05:41,942
♪ Get down, get down ♪
868
01:05:41,984 --> 01:05:44,027
- ♪ Get down tonight, baby ♪
870
01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:50,284
♪ Get down, get down
get down, get down ♪
871
01:05:50,367 --> 01:05:52,494
♪ Get down tonight, baby ♪
872
01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:13,640
- I'm just exhausted.- Oh, God,
you were amazing. Are you kidding?
873
01:06:17,978 --> 01:06:20,814
I just had to see for myself.
875
01:06:27,613 --> 01:06:31,241
Kate!
876
01:06:31,325 --> 01:06:34,828
♪ I'm not in love ♪
877
01:06:34,912 --> 01:06:37,331
♪ I'm not in love ♪
879
01:06:50,677 --> 01:06:53,555
- What?
- How's Elaine?
880
01:06:53,639 --> 01:06:56,183
You know, your wife.
881
01:06:57,768 --> 01:06:59,603
Bastard!
882
01:06:59,686 --> 01:07:01,563
This was not about
some black book.
883
01:07:01,605 --> 01:07:03,774
Your wife was a customer
of Antoine's, wasn't she?
884
01:07:03,857 --> 01:07:07,027
That son of a bitch is going down.
And you're going to join him!
885
01:07:09,571 --> 01:07:11,865
How is that going to fix
your marriage?
886
01:07:15,619 --> 01:07:18,413
Look, I lost someone
that I love too.
887
01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:23,418
You know why she did this?
888
01:07:23,460 --> 01:07:26,797
You want to know why
she went outside our marriage?
889
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,882
It's because of my dick, man.
890
01:07:28,966 --> 01:07:32,052
I mean, that's the reason.
It's my dick.
891
01:07:32,094 --> 01:07:34,638
Take it easy.
892
01:07:34,721 --> 01:07:38,100
You are saying your wife cheated on you
because your penis is too small?
893
01:07:38,141 --> 01:07:42,980
It is not too small. It is too thin,
okay? My dick is too thin.
894
01:07:43,063 --> 01:07:47,025
- I have got a thin dick!
- Can you keep it down?
895
01:07:47,109 --> 01:07:49,736
- I would like to come back here someday.
- Everybody knows...
896
01:07:49,778 --> 01:07:52,447
that it's width, width that
gives sexual gratification.
897
01:07:52,531 --> 01:07:55,659
I have read it.
Cosmo, Redbook, you name it.
898
01:07:55,742 --> 01:08:00,122
What am I supposed to do? I have got
the thinnest penis in the world! Here.
899
01:08:00,163 --> 01:08:03,333
- It's like a pencil. Look!
- No, no, stop that.
900
01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:06,837
Sit down!
Sit!
901
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:10,299
It's not your dick.
It's you.
902
01:08:10,382 --> 01:08:12,426
I'm telling you now,
if you painted it silver...
903
01:08:12,509 --> 01:08:15,095
and twisted it on the end,
it'd look like a kickstand.
904
01:08:16,305 --> 01:08:18,473
If man whoring
has taught me anything,
905
01:08:18,557 --> 01:08:21,435
it's that most women are as unhappy
with their entire body...
906
01:08:21,476 --> 01:08:23,562
as you are
with your small penis.
907
01:08:23,645 --> 01:08:25,814
- Thin penis.
- Whatever.
908
01:08:27,149 --> 01:08:29,776
- While you're worried about your penis,
- Thin penis.
909
01:08:29,818 --> 01:08:32,696
Women are worried
about their height,
910
01:08:32,779 --> 01:08:35,449
their weight, their giant feet,
911
01:08:35,532 --> 01:08:38,368
the stream of obscenities that could
burst through their mouth at any second.
912
01:08:38,452 --> 01:08:41,830
If you make a woman
feel good about herself,
913
01:08:41,872 --> 01:08:44,333
it really does not matter
what is wrong with you.
914
01:08:46,710 --> 01:08:49,087
Even if it's
really, really thin?
915
01:08:49,171 --> 01:08:51,340
We are talking spaghetti stick.
916
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,719
Tell you what.
917
01:08:55,802 --> 01:08:59,848
Every time you're feeling self conscious
about your thin dick,
918
01:08:59,932 --> 01:09:03,352
say something nice to make
your woman feel sexy.
919
01:09:04,645 --> 01:09:08,315
I mean, is that it?
I mean, is that all there is?
920
01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:12,819
There is one other thing.
921
01:09:12,861 --> 01:09:17,157
♪ Do a little dance
Make a little love ♪
922
01:09:17,241 --> 01:09:19,326
♪ Get down tonight ♪
923
01:09:19,409 --> 01:09:21,745
♪ Get down tonight ♪
924
01:09:21,828 --> 01:09:25,791
♪ Do a little dance
Make a little love ♪
925
01:09:25,874 --> 01:09:29,336
♪ Get down tonight
Get down tonight ♪
926
01:09:29,419 --> 01:09:31,880
Uh, yes, sir.
927
01:09:31,922 --> 01:09:35,884
Um, you are sure there is not
anything you can do?
928
01:09:38,053 --> 01:09:39,972
Yes, sir.
I understand.
929
01:09:47,437 --> 01:09:51,817
Listen.
I really appreciate you helping me.
930
01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:54,069
I guess I misjudged you.
931
01:09:55,279 --> 01:09:57,322
Anyway, I got you off the hook.
932
01:09:57,406 --> 01:09:59,783
Why am I still worried?
933
01:09:59,867 --> 01:10:02,035
You got to give them T.J.
934
01:10:02,119 --> 01:10:05,080
- I can't do that!
- You got no choice.
935
01:10:05,122 --> 01:10:07,082
I have been working
on this case for three months.
936
01:10:07,165 --> 01:10:10,836
- Boss says somebody has got to be arrested.
- But T.J.'s my friend.
937
01:10:10,919 --> 01:10:13,881
They are serious, Deuce.
938
01:10:13,964 --> 01:10:17,134
Look, I don't like it,
but it's either you or him.
939
01:10:20,888 --> 01:10:26,143
Your Honor, sex for money
is morally reprehensible.
940
01:10:26,226 --> 01:10:31,231
Mr. Bigalow has compounded this crime
by refusing to name his he pimp.
941
01:10:31,273 --> 01:10:34,651
Therefore, we ask for
the maximum term...
942
01:10:34,735 --> 01:10:37,613
for each of the five counts
of prostitution.
943
01:11:00,135 --> 01:11:02,012
Excuse me.
944
01:11:15,984 --> 01:11:19,279
We never had sex.
945
01:11:19,321 --> 01:11:21,532
We talked about it.
946
01:11:21,615 --> 01:11:23,867
Well, I talked about it.
947
01:11:23,951 --> 01:11:28,580
But Deuce never took advantage of me.
He should have.
948
01:11:28,664 --> 01:11:30,582
But he is my friend.
949
01:11:30,666 --> 01:11:36,296
He made me realize that I was not
just some hot babe with huge tits.
950
01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:39,341
Even though I am.
951
01:11:39,383 --> 01:11:42,469
Oh, and he also
got me walking again.
952
01:11:49,017 --> 01:11:51,562
Deuce and I never had sex.
953
01:11:51,645 --> 01:11:54,314
- It was physically impossible.
- Freak!
954
01:11:55,691 --> 01:11:57,985
It's true I paid him money
to be with him,
955
01:11:58,068 --> 01:12:02,614
and I would do it again because he made me
feel good about myself.
956
01:12:02,698 --> 01:12:05,158
Behemoth.
957
01:12:06,493 --> 01:12:09,830
And no one ever
touched my feet before.
958
01:12:09,872 --> 01:12:12,749
That's a huge bitch!
959
01:12:12,833 --> 01:12:16,920
Deuce taught me to be
comfortable with who I am.
960
01:12:17,004 --> 01:12:18,881
Thank you, Deuce.
961
01:12:18,964 --> 01:12:21,175
Asshole!
962
01:12:23,552 --> 01:12:26,597
These are very serious
charges, Mr. Bigalow.
963
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:28,765
I just have one question
to ask you.
964
01:12:28,849 --> 01:12:32,686
During your entire stint as a he whore,
did you have sex with anyone?
965
01:12:35,272 --> 01:12:37,858
Yes, Your Honor.
966
01:12:39,067 --> 01:12:42,029
Just one woman.
967
01:12:42,112 --> 01:12:44,698
And I am in love with her.
968
01:12:44,781 --> 01:12:46,867
Order!
969
01:12:46,909 --> 01:12:48,869
Order, please.
970
01:12:48,911 --> 01:12:51,872
This is very important,
Mr. Bigalow.
971
01:12:51,914 --> 01:12:54,416
Did she pay you for sex?
972
01:12:57,252 --> 01:12:59,880
No.
973
01:12:59,922 --> 01:13:01,715
Case dismissed.
974
01:13:03,759 --> 01:13:05,469
Yes!
975
01:13:18,065 --> 01:13:20,859
These shots will deaden
the nerve area...
976
01:13:20,943 --> 01:13:24,071
where your hair transplants
will be.
977
01:13:25,781 --> 01:13:28,075
There.
That should do it.
978
01:13:28,116 --> 01:13:31,578
Nurse, would you please
remove our donor hair.
979
01:13:31,620 --> 01:13:33,580
I will be back in a minute.
980
01:13:45,425 --> 01:13:48,846
Mr. Johnson, please
Just lie back down now.
981
01:13:48,929 --> 01:13:51,431
Oh, my God.
Deuce!
982
01:13:51,515 --> 01:13:53,517
Kate, listen to me.
983
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:55,519
What are you doing here?
984
01:13:55,602 --> 01:13:58,522
It's the only way
I could get you to see me.
985
01:13:58,605 --> 01:14:01,775
Deuce, it is over between us.
986
01:14:04,528 --> 01:14:06,238
Listen,
987
01:14:06,321 --> 01:14:08,574
those shots hurt like hell.
988
01:14:08,657 --> 01:14:10,576
Could you at least hear me out?
989
01:14:10,659 --> 01:14:14,454
Well, I don't know how much you charge
by the hour, but you have one minute.
990
01:14:14,496 --> 01:14:17,457
Okay.
I deserved that.
991
01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:22,921
I should've told you
right from the start,
992
01:14:23,005 --> 01:14:24,923
but I was afraid.
993
01:14:26,008 --> 01:14:27,634
Afraid of what?
994
01:14:27,676 --> 01:14:30,971
Afraid that a girl
as wonderful as you...
995
01:14:31,013 --> 01:14:35,559
could never fall for a guy
who cleans fish tanks.
996
01:14:35,642 --> 01:14:38,061
Because that's who I really am.
997
01:14:38,145 --> 01:14:41,398
This whole gigolo thing
was just a mistake.
998
01:14:41,481 --> 01:14:44,443
But I am glad it happened...
999
01:14:44,526 --> 01:14:48,280
because I never
would have met you.
1000
01:14:48,363 --> 01:14:51,283
I never would have known
what love was.
1001
01:14:52,367 --> 01:14:56,079
I'm sorry.
I'm not perfect.
1002
01:14:58,790 --> 01:15:02,252
I'm not perfect either.
1003
01:15:03,670 --> 01:15:05,923
Yes, you are.
1004
01:15:06,006 --> 01:15:08,842
You are perfect in every way.
1005
01:15:08,884 --> 01:15:11,845
I knew it the moment I met you.
1006
01:15:17,643 --> 01:15:20,562
Kate.
1007
01:15:20,604 --> 01:15:24,191
"You have a smile
that could melt an iceberg"
1008
01:15:24,233 --> 01:15:29,321
"Your lips
are as sweet as honey"
1009
01:15:29,404 --> 01:15:32,324
"You may only have one leg,
1010
01:15:32,407 --> 01:15:37,204
but it's the most beautiful
leg in the world."
1011
01:15:42,334 --> 01:15:45,754
Are you kissing me?
because I can't feel a thing.
1012
01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,384
Now boarding at gate 53.
1013
01:15:50,425 --> 01:15:53,387
Flight 14 to Sydney, Australia
is now boarding...
1014
01:15:53,428 --> 01:15:55,889
I have never done this
in 12 hours before.
1015
01:15:55,931 --> 01:15:58,392
I'm not responsible
if the seals leak.
1016
01:16:00,102 --> 01:16:03,480
Shit!
Shit cabinet!
1017
01:16:11,989 --> 01:16:14,950
Come on, put the fish
in the tank already.
1018
01:16:14,992 --> 01:16:17,953
Antoine's plane landed
20 minutes ago.
1019
01:16:17,995 --> 01:16:20,998
I think we are going to be okay.
1020
01:16:22,291 --> 01:16:24,918
Could you step this way, please?
1021
01:16:27,254 --> 01:16:30,424
Is it time to put
the big guy in yet?
1022
01:16:30,507 --> 01:16:33,468
Give him another minute.
Temperature's not right.
1023
01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:45,272
Spread them again, please.
1024
01:16:47,983 --> 01:16:50,777
Okay, we can put
the last fish in.
1025
01:16:50,861 --> 01:16:52,821
Looks like
you pulled it off, kid.
1026
01:16:52,863 --> 01:16:54,823
Time for some tequila!
1027
01:17:00,329 --> 01:17:03,081
Margaritas, anybody?
1028
01:17:23,352 --> 01:17:28,315
I need ... Chinese...
tailbar ... lionfish.
1029
01:17:30,692 --> 01:17:32,945
- 700, 800.
- Where did you get all that money?
1030
01:17:33,028 --> 01:17:35,948
- Friends.
- Yeah, right.
1031
01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:38,617
Anything else?
1032
01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:42,829
On second thought, you had better give me
some of those sea snails.
1033
01:18:11,441 --> 01:18:13,402
So, uh, how was your trip?
1034
01:18:14,570 --> 01:18:16,530
Very good...
1035
01:18:16,613 --> 01:18:18,615
till about three hours ago.
1036
01:18:18,699 --> 01:18:21,034
Yeah?
What happened?
1037
01:18:21,118 --> 01:18:23,287
I don't want to talk about it.
1038
01:18:26,623 --> 01:18:28,584
The place looks good.
1039
01:18:29,626 --> 01:18:31,587
Good to be home.
1040
01:18:31,628 --> 01:18:34,715
I should take off
so you can relax.
1041
01:18:34,798 --> 01:18:37,259
Is there something
you are not telling me?
1042
01:18:38,594 --> 01:18:40,387
Yeah.
1043
01:18:40,470 --> 01:18:44,474
I put your mail on the nightstand.
1044
01:18:47,603 --> 01:18:49,563
Right.
1045
01:18:53,609 --> 01:18:55,569
What the hell is this?
1046
01:18:55,611 --> 01:18:58,030
A chocolate margarita.
1047
01:18:58,113 --> 01:18:59,740
You have been having a party?
1048
01:18:59,781 --> 01:19:03,535
It was, uh, more like, uh,
a welcome home thing, really.
1049
01:19:05,871 --> 01:19:08,290
I could really use one
right now.
1050
01:19:18,383 --> 01:19:20,427
Spicy.
1051
01:19:22,638 --> 01:19:25,098
- I should probably go.
- My fish.
1052
01:19:27,226 --> 01:19:28,936
They look smaller.
1053
01:19:31,688 --> 01:19:35,484
Sometimes
when they are, uh, sick,
1054
01:19:35,567 --> 01:19:37,694
they will shrink.
1055
01:19:39,446 --> 01:19:41,406
Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish.
1056
01:19:41,490 --> 01:19:44,743
Hey, fish, fish, fish,
fish, fish, fish.
1057
01:19:44,826 --> 01:19:47,120
Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish.
1058
01:20:07,724 --> 01:20:11,687
I did man whore for a little bit,
but none of your clients.
1059
01:20:11,728 --> 01:20:13,689
None of them.
1060
01:20:13,730 --> 01:20:16,733
I know an aquarium guy
who can fix all of this.
1061
01:20:16,817 --> 01:20:19,152
- He's a little expensive...
- Hah!
1062
01:20:19,236 --> 01:20:21,238
Deuce!
1063
01:20:26,743 --> 01:20:28,954
No!
1064
01:20:52,769 --> 01:20:55,314
- Deuce!
- No!
1065
01:21:07,367 --> 01:21:09,536
Ohh.
1066
01:21:18,754 --> 01:21:20,547
Hey! Tough guy.
1067
01:21:20,631 --> 01:21:23,592
What do you think of this?
1068
01:21:23,634 --> 01:21:25,719
You are busted.
1069
01:21:26,887 --> 01:21:28,805
What is going on out here?
1070
01:21:29,932 --> 01:21:32,392
I can see!
1071
01:21:34,770 --> 01:21:36,522
You are black.
1072
01:21:36,605 --> 01:21:37,814
I knew it.
1073
01:21:49,618 --> 01:21:52,746
♪ Love ♪
1074
01:21:52,829 --> 01:21:56,250
♪ Is what I want ♪
1075
01:21:56,291 --> 01:21:58,544
♪ Whoa, yeah ♪
1076
01:22:00,546 --> 01:22:04,967
♪ And all you got to do
is bring it to me, baby ♪
1077
01:22:09,012 --> 01:22:12,432
♪ Talk ♪
1078
01:22:12,474 --> 01:22:14,601
♪ Is what I want ♪
1079
01:22:14,643 --> 01:22:17,229
- ♪ What I want ♪
- ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪
1080
01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,731
♪ What I want ♪
1081
01:22:19,815 --> 01:22:24,444
♪ And all you got to do
is bring it to me, baby ♪
1082
01:22:28,490 --> 01:22:31,034
- ♪ Talk ♪
- ♪ Come on let's talk about it ♪
1083
01:22:31,118 --> 01:22:33,579
- ♪ Talk ♪
- ♪ Can't seem to do without it ♪
1084
01:22:33,662 --> 01:22:35,038
- ♪ Talk ♪
- ♪ Don't want to be ♪
1085
01:22:35,122 --> 01:22:40,794
♪ One of the broken hearted ♪
1086
01:22:40,836 --> 01:22:45,674
♪ So lift me up
Finish what you started ♪
1087
01:22:45,757 --> 01:22:50,679
♪ Take me off for a ride ♪
1088
01:22:50,762 --> 01:22:55,475
♪ Lift me up
from the broken hearted ♪
1089
01:22:55,559 --> 01:23:00,355
♪ Rivers deep and wide ♪
1090
01:23:00,439 --> 01:23:02,858
♪ Lift me up ♪
1091
01:23:05,277 --> 01:23:09,990
♪ Take me off for a ride ♪
1092
01:23:10,032 --> 01:23:14,828
♪ Lift me up
from the broken hearted ♪
1093
01:23:14,870 --> 01:23:20,876
♪ Rivers deep and wide ♪
1094
01:23:20,959 --> 01:23:24,087
♪ Color me your color, baby ♪
1095
01:23:24,171 --> 01:23:27,466
♪ Color me your car ♪
1096
01:23:27,549 --> 01:23:30,844
♪ Color me your color, darling ♪
1097
01:23:30,886 --> 01:23:34,181
♪ I know who you are ♪
1098
01:23:34,223 --> 01:23:37,643
♪ Come up off your color chart ♪
1099
01:23:37,726 --> 01:23:40,479
♪ I know where
you are coming from ♪
1100
01:23:40,562 --> 01:23:43,357
♪ Call me for a ride ♪
1101
01:23:43,440 --> 01:23:47,277
♪ Call me, call me
any, any time ♪
1102
01:23:47,361 --> 01:23:50,239
♪ Call me, my love ♪
1103
01:23:50,322 --> 01:23:54,034
♪ You can call me
any day or night ♪
1104
01:23:54,117 --> 01:23:56,078
♪ Call me ♪
1105
01:24:01,124 --> 01:24:04,419
♪ Cover me with kisses baby ♪
1106
01:24:04,503 --> 01:24:07,840
♪ Cover me with love ♪
1107
01:24:07,923 --> 01:24:10,717
♪ Roll me in designer sheets ♪
1108
01:24:10,759 --> 01:24:14,555
♪ I will never get enough ♪
1109
01:24:14,638 --> 01:24:17,975
♪ Emotions come
I don't know why ♪
1110
01:24:18,058 --> 01:24:22,437
♪ Cover up love's alibi ♪
1111
01:24:22,479 --> 01:24:25,566
♪ Call me for a ride ♪
1112
01:24:25,649 --> 01:24:29,361
♪ Call me, call me
any, any time ♪
1113
01:24:29,444 --> 01:24:32,239
♪ Call me, my love ♪
1114
01:24:32,281 --> 01:24:36,076
♪ When you are ready
we can share the wine ♪
1115
01:24:36,118 --> 01:24:38,078
♪ Call me ♪
1117
01:24:45,252 --> 01:24:49,923
♪ He speaks
the languages of love ♪
1122
01:25:02,853 --> 01:25:04,605
♪ Anytime, anyplace ♪
1123
01:25:04,646 --> 01:25:08,775
♪ Anywhere, anyway ♪
1124
01:25:08,817 --> 01:25:12,112
♪ Anytime, anyplace
Anywhere, anyday ♪
1125
01:25:12,196 --> 01:25:16,158
♪ Any way ♪
1126
01:25:48,273 --> 01:25:51,401
♪ Call me, my love ♪
1127
01:25:51,485 --> 01:25:55,239
♪ Call me, call me
any, any time ♪
1128
01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:58,158
♪ Call me for a ride ♪
1129
01:25:58,200 --> 01:26:01,912
♪ Call me, call me
for some overtime ♪
1130
01:26:01,995 --> 01:26:04,831
♪ Call me, my love ♪
1131
01:26:04,915 --> 01:26:08,627
♪ Call me, call me
in a sweet design ♪
1132
01:26:08,710 --> 01:26:11,630
♪ Call me, ♪
1133
01:26:11,713 --> 01:26:15,425
♪ Call me, call me
call me anytime ♪
1134
01:26:15,509 --> 01:26:18,303
♪ Call me, call me ♪
1135
01:26:18,387 --> 01:26:22,140
♪ For your lover's lover's
alibi ♪
1136
01:26:22,224 --> 01:26:25,018
♪ Call me on the line ♪
1137
01:26:25,102 --> 01:26:28,856
♪ Call me, call me
any, any time ♪
1138
01:26:28,939 --> 01:26:32,192
♪ Call me, call me ♪
1139
01:26:32,234 --> 01:26:36,029
♪ Just call me, call me call me,...♪
1140
01:26:36,113 --> 01:26:39,366
♪ Call me, call me call me .... ♪
1141
01:26:39,408 --> 01:26:42,953
♪ Call me, call me call me, call me, call me ♪
83427
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