All language subtitles for Deuce.Bigalow.Male.Gigolo.1999.1080p.WEB-DL.x264.AC3-ETRG-English112

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali Download
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese) Download
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai Download
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:18,018 ♪ Of all the wonderful things in life you can find ♪ 2 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,146 ♪ They all can be yours with the right frame of mind ♪ 3 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,483 ♪ Just look, and you'll find ♪ 4 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,986 ♪ There are no secrets to hide ♪ 5 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,532 ♪ Leave your problems behind Leave your problems behind ♪ 6 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,576 ♪ No worry, friends No worry ♪ 7 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,756 Yuck! 8 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,842 Eww! 9 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,138 Swim trunks are loaded with detergents and other hazardous chemicals harmful to fish. 12 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,144 Hi, Allison. 13 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,819 - Just quit my job at the aquarium. - Heard you got fired. 14 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:55,199 Yeah. The aquarium's totally changed. Don't worry about me. I will be fine. 15 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,492 I got a lot of great offers. 16 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,578 Things are really starting to happen for me. 17 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,581 - I was thinking maybe later if you were not doing any... - No. 18 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,376 - I mean if... Uh, when you are not working. - I don't think so. 19 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,839 Okay, I guess I will just take some sea snails and be on my way. 20 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,350 No, no, a little lower. The ones on the bottom. 21 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,496 Uh, 22 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,040 have a good nipple. 23 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,403 ♪ Color me your color, baby ♪ 24 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,906 ♪ Color me your car ♪ 25 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,617 ♪ Color me your color, darling ♪ 26 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,246 ♪ I know who you are ♪ 27 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,748 ♪ 28 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,751 Ah, you have beautiful skin, baby, huh? 29 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:33,005 Get some olive oil, rub it all over you. 30 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,215 We'll have a good time, huh? 31 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,260 Oh, yeah. 32 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,931 Let's get him out of there. 33 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,780 Oh Oh, Antoine! 34 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,575 Yeah! 36 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,470 Try to keep your goldfish in this bowl. 37 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,642 If you like, I could stick around for a while. 38 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,146 Every kid needs a father. 39 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,993 What the hell? 40 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,474 What the hell are you doing? 41 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:11,937 There's a mongrel koi in there. It's the most dangerous of all goldfish. 42 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,525 - Do you have any ice? - Hey. 43 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,527 Shoes off, huh? 44 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,405 Respect the 18th century Persian carpet. 45 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,829 Whoa! What are those? 46 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:32,708 Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. 47 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,544 They are worth twice as much if they have killed somebody. 48 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,717 I collect Canadian coins. 49 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,303 I got about six of them. 50 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,852 Would you like anything to drink? 51 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,021 I would not mind a glass of... 52 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,899 Whoa. What is that? 53 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,903 Is that a custom Living Color anti glare, retractable top tank? 54 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,572 - I'm not sure. - It is! 55 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,200 They assemble each one of these by hand. 56 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:10,162 Whoa! Chinese tailbar lionfish. He's a beauty! 57 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,331 That's an 800 dollar fish! 58 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,168 - Try a thousand. - Then you overpaid. 59 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,549 Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish. 60 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,427 Hey, fish, fish, fish. 61 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,347 Hey. An Australian rainbow fish. 62 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,350 You're not going to want to put him in there... 63 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,354 - Oh, God! - Women love it. 64 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,148 They find it erotic when they eat each other. 65 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,110 Excuse me for a second, huh? 66 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,112 Must make pee pee. 67 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,213 Antoine, hi. It's Regina. 68 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,675 I'm flying in from Luxembourg tomorrow. I want you to be my driver. 69 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,053 Swiss Air, flight 12. Is it still 3,500? 70 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,974 See you. Ciao. 71 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,185 I finally figured out how you pick up all these gorgeous women. 72 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,272 - How's that? - You're a limo driver. 73 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,150 Sometimes I am. 74 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:26,488 - So you just drive them back here and have sex with them? - If they pay me enough, yes. 75 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,199 What kind of limo service is that? 76 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,703 Shouldn't you be taking them to fancy restaurants or the theater? 77 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:37,666 - I'm a gigolo. - A gigo who? 78 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,337 Women pay me to give them pleasure. 79 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:51,054 - How did you get that job? - I just kind of fell into it. 80 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,766 I'm going to kill my guidance counselor. 82 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:06,361 Hey! Hey! Hey! 83 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,457 Down! Bad dog! 84 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,219 Hey, guys. Did you miss me? 85 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,729 Well, there has been a slight delay in our move to the beach plan. 86 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,192 But don't worry. 87 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,615 It's going to happen. 88 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,497 Hey, fish guy! 89 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:05,254 I think there is something wrong with my, uh, uh, big fish. 90 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:17,307 PH is off. The nitrates are at a dangerous level. 91 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:21,812 - I can neutralize it. - Oh, fish, fish, fish. 92 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,148 They don't like that. 93 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,571 - I think our little friend has Malawi bloat. - What the hell is that? 94 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,699 - It's a gill disorder. - Is it bad? 95 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,953 - Could be fatal. - But is he going to make it? 96 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:42,457 He is in shock. I gave him some freeze dried water fleas, but he's got to want to live. 97 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,210 - The next forty eight hours are critical. - Forty eight hours? 98 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:49,173 But I got to go to Switzerland for business. I'll be gone for three weeks. 99 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,967 Well, cancel it. You got a sick fish here, pal. 100 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,052 Hey, hey, what about you, huh? 101 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,597 Sounds good, but I can't afford to go to Europe right now. 102 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,851 - My passport expired ... No, no, I mean you can stay here and look after my fish. 103 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,061 I have got a full bar, huh? 104 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,272 Digital television. 105 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,816 You are on the beach. 106 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:10,152 I don't know. I... 107 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,244 I would be honored to care for your fish. 108 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:38,263 Just remember, don't use my car and don't answer my phone. 109 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:41,642 No car, no phone. 110 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,810 So I guess throwing a big beach party is out of the question. 111 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,943 This is a 14th century Hungarian crossbow. 112 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,737 It has killed a king... 113 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,198 and changed the history of Europe. 114 00:10:56,281 --> 00:11:00,577 You mess up anything in my apartment, I will shove it up your ass. 115 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,915 Have a good trip. 116 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,133 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 117 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,849 Women pay me to give them pleasure. 118 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,692 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 119 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,069 ♪ And tell me what you are saying ♪ 120 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,071 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 121 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,740 ♪ Get a whiff of what I'm wearing ♪ 122 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,742 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 123 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,831 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 124 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,833 ♪ And stop ♪ 125 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,918 I'm on the beach. 126 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,963 I mean, I open up my window, I got sand blowing in my face. 127 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,300 - It's that crazy. I would love to show it to you sometime.- No. 128 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,302 - You really owe it to yourself to see... - No. 129 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,597 Hey! Try to get laid on your own time, pal. 130 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,560 I guess I will just take some sea snails. 131 00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,857 You better get me some from the colder tank. 133 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:04,117 Oh, yes! Oh! 134 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:08,163 I have been bad. I have been really bad. 135 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,293 But it was worth it. 136 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:18,173 Hi. Would you like to buy some Girls of America cookies? 137 00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:21,844 - Do not hit me with that. - Could you come back later? 138 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,514 - - Oh! What are you watching? 139 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,933 You are gross! 140 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,019 You're a sick man, and I'm going to tell! 141 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:33,438 - Hit me with it again. - How much? 142 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,808 Great. 143 00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:49,765 Hey, Deuce, it's Antoine. 144 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,851 I just realized I don't know you that well. 145 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,895 To be honest, it's freaking me out a little. 146 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,689 You just make sure you keep my apartment clean or you will die. 147 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,691 Bye bye. 148 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,325 Oh! Oh! 150 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,461 - Six thousand dollars? - I know. It sucks. 151 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,965 Neil, where am I going to get 6,000 dollars in three weeks? 152 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,677 I don't know your budget. You may not want to... 153 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,513 blow your whole wad on this tank. 154 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,184 I would. 155 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,103 - Can I pay in installments? - No. 156 00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:21,857 I'm up to my arms in it, if you know what I mean. 157 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:25,903 I'm not trying to flip you over and do you dry here. 158 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,822 Look, squat on it for a night... 159 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,824 and let me know. 160 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,187 - What? Hello? - Hi. 161 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,814 I've been staring at your number for hours. 162 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,983 I got it from a friend. 163 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,529 Um, I'm not really supposed to use this phone. 164 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,572 Why don't you come over? 165 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:13,534 My address is 1235 Radford Way. 166 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,286 Actually, I have I have got a lot of work... 167 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:19,248 to do here... still. 168 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,250 I'm naked. 169 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,920 ♪ Call me on the line ♪ 170 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:29,007 ♪ Call me, call me any, any time ♪ 171 00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,593 ♪ Call me ♪ 173 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:41,937 Now, there is my little German tourist. 174 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,941 Is this it? Is this the whole outfit? 175 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,068 It's perfect. 177 00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:03,750 Yes. Use the map. Use the map. 178 00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:14,178 Her is the Statue of Liberty?" 179 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,723 You should have stuck with the tour, Heinz. 180 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:20,142 Now you will have to pay the penalty. 181 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:25,314 It's It's no problem. I will just, um... 182 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,525 Let me slip on a few of these babies. 183 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:38,660 - What was that? - I did not hear anything. 184 00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,787 Now come here, 185 00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:43,832 you naughty little sight seer. 186 00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:51,215 Wait a second. I definitely heard something. 187 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,092 Oh, that's just Wolf. He's been in there a while. 188 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,887 Now you concentrate and stay in character. 189 00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,682 Wolf, settle down! 190 00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:04,144 Now you just focus on your little wiener. 191 00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:08,565 I got to get out of here. 192 00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:10,734 Don't worry. He never gets all the way through. 193 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,154 Maybe you better go. 194 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,826 Wolf, you have got to stop doing this to Mommy's friends. 195 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,621 Yes, he does. Yes, he does. 196 00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:25,123 He will be all right for a while. Here, this is for you. 197 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,668 It's all I could grab. 198 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,212 - Did I bring you pleasure? - Not really. 199 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,715 You better haul ass. 200 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,107 Ten dollars? 201 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,444 Yeah! 204 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,886 A martini and two olives. 205 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,889 Martini. Two olives. 206 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,517 Any ladies need some entertainment tonight? 207 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,571 Eight fifty. 208 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,411 - Eight dollars? - And fifty cents. 209 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,624 Well, how much just for a plain cranberry juice? 210 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:51,752 - Uh, three dollars. - I will go for that. 211 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,219 There you go. That's eleven fifty. 212 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,722 Uh, no, no. Perhaps you misunderstood me. 213 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:07,017 I wish to cancel my original order of the martini and two olives... 214 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:11,021 and go for just the plain cranberry Juice by itself for the three dollars. 215 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:14,066 And I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. 216 00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,276 Uh, perhaps you don't understand. 217 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:20,656 If you don't pay me now, I'm going to take this swizzle stick... 218 00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,617 and, uh, I will be shoving that right up your pee hole. 219 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:28,747 - So that was eleven fifty, right? - Right. 220 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,416 Okay, there's ten... 221 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,294 and six quarters, and... 222 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:37,256 Tell you what. I will go work on your tip. 223 00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:47,641 I could not help overhearing your Spanish. 224 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:51,520 - It's French. - Ah. Yes. 225 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:54,815 French. Nice people. May I? 226 00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,359 No... 227 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,531 Ooh. Excuse me. These leather seats. 228 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:05,993 Would you like a martini or cranberry juice? 229 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,329 - No. - Kind of celebrating tonight. 230 00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,168 Possible career change. 232 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,381 I'm pretty excited about it. 233 00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:21,675 You want to get out of here? 234 00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:28,307 Okay. I'm sorry. 235 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:31,351 I mean, together. 236 00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:43,989 What happened to the carpet? 237 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:48,118 Oh, it's one of those 18th century wet rugs. 238 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:59,880 Well, that's certainly appreciated. 239 00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,425 Hey, whoa. 240 00:23:03,509 --> 00:23:05,969 Maybe we should take care of a little business first. 241 00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:08,680 If you prefer. 242 00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:12,601 I don't have a set price or anything, but I have been getting ten dollars. 243 00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,939 - I'm sorry? - Well, that's my going rate. 244 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,858 But I'm willing to negotiate. 245 00:23:19,942 --> 00:23:24,738 That's funny. But the price is 500. 246 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,783 You're going to pay me $500? 247 00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:32,412 No, honey. You pay me. 248 00:23:32,496 --> 00:23:36,500 Oh, I get it. This is some kind of role reversal. 249 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,502 I will play along with this. 250 00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,713 Okay, 300, 400, 500. You are my hooker. 251 00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:44,424 No, seriously, where's my ten dollars? 252 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:47,970 Look, asshole. I didn't come all the way down here for nothing. 253 00:23:48,053 --> 00:23:51,515 Now give me my $500! 254 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,393 You give me ten dollars! 255 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,312 Five hundred, now! 256 00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:02,651 You pay me ten dollars. 257 00:24:03,652 --> 00:24:06,321 Nice. oh! 258 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:19,126 Is that all you got? 259 00:24:33,432 --> 00:24:35,851 Ten dollars. 260 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,992 No! Please don't! 261 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:55,037 Five hundred dollars... or the fish gets it. 262 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,414 Let's talk about this. 263 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:08,342 - Why do you have a picture of Antoine? - Well, this is his place. 264 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,053 I'm watching his fish for him. 265 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,519 Please, don't tell him about the shoes, huh? 266 00:25:39,331 --> 00:25:42,417 - Can I help you? - Oh, my God. 267 00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:45,921 I'm looking at a dead man. 268 00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:49,633 You know, Claire told me that Antoine's place was messed up, 269 00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:52,469 but I had no idea. 270 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,556 - Claire? - The hooker you ass punched. 271 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,975 That was a misunderstanding. 272 00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:02,646 And I intend to have everything fixed by the time Antoine gets back. 273 00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:06,108 I'm just... I'm just a little strapped for cash right now. 274 00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:08,861 Maybe there's something we could work out. 275 00:26:08,944 --> 00:26:11,780 Claire mentioned that you dabble in harlotry. 276 00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:14,116 - I'm sorry? - You a man whore. 277 00:26:14,199 --> 00:26:16,785 - Well, I tried that for a couple hours... - See this ring? 278 00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:18,787 Topaz. That's my mother's birthstone. 279 00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,789 Got that from man whoring. 280 00:26:20,831 --> 00:26:23,417 See this key chain? That's right. 281 00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:26,461 Mini yo yo. Know where I got the money for that? 282 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,297 - Man whoring? - Stock market. 283 00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:31,300 But I got the money for the stock market from man whoring... 284 00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:34,761 and representing man whores like yourself. 285 00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:37,139 So... you're a pimp? 286 00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:39,933 T.J. don't consider himself no pimp. 287 00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:42,603 More of a male madam. 288 00:26:44,313 --> 00:26:46,773 That wasn't too well thought out. 289 00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:49,109 Look at this proud fish. 290 00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:51,528 It's like a coyote... King of the jungle. 291 00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:55,616 It's like Antoine. He don't need no pimp. 292 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,619 Then look at this mid level fish here. 293 00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:01,622 Works hotels, conventions, senior centers. 294 00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:05,876 I represent several man whores at this level of the game. 295 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,003 Now look at this little fella, 296 00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:11,965 at the bottom, trying to get busy with the scuba man. 297 00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:16,220 You know, if you work hard and listen to me, 298 00:27:16,303 --> 00:27:18,222 this could be you. 299 00:27:18,305 --> 00:27:20,182 Well, thanks, 300 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:23,310 but I already have a job. 301 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,354 I clean fish tanks. 302 00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:29,066 You going to make 150 dollars cleaning fish tanks? - 150 dollars? 303 00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,568 Yeah. Fish ain't going to pay for all this. 304 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,865 I don't know. 305 00:27:36,907 --> 00:27:39,409 You know, Antoine has a bad temper. 306 00:27:39,493 --> 00:27:42,913 I remember once I dropped a cigar ash on his rug. 307 00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:46,416 He made me pick it up with my anus. 308 00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:51,588 Well, maybe I could do a couple jobs, 309 00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:54,508 Just to get this place fixed up. 310 00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:09,231 We got a lot of work to do. 311 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,742 ♪ I believe in miracles ♪ 312 00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,121 ♪ Where you from ♪ 313 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:26,540 - ♪ You sexy thing ♪ - ♪ Sexy thing, you ♪ 314 00:28:26,582 --> 00:28:28,625 ♪ I believe in miracles ♪ 316 00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:33,130 ♪ Since you came along ♪ 317 00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:34,590 ♪ You sexy thing ♪ 320 00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:06,079 You a man-whore now. 321 00:29:06,163 --> 00:29:08,123 I'm so proud. 322 00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:10,125 Thanks, T.J. 323 00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:13,128 Now remember, it's a business. 324 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:16,131 Never, ever fall in love. 325 00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:41,532 I'm upstairs! 326 00:29:59,132 --> 00:30:01,468 Okay, Deuce, 327 00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:03,470 don't fall in love. 328 00:30:15,232 --> 00:30:16,984 I know what you're thinking. 329 00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:23,073 You're thinking those are the biggest boobies you've ever seen. 330 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,075 Can I please use your phone? 331 00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,077 I'm not your average woman. 332 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,079 I like sex, 333 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:32,082 and I'm not afraid to ... 334 00:30:35,002 --> 00:30:37,337 Excuse me. I just had pudding an hour ago. 335 00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:41,925 - Dear God. - You ever parked your bicycle in an airplane hangar? 336 00:30:42,009 --> 00:30:47,514 - I'm sorry? - You ever thrown a toothpick into a volcano? 337 00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:50,392 - What? - Oh, nothing. 338 00:30:50,475 --> 00:30:53,061 Just making idle chitchat. 339 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:56,440 - Are you comfortable? - Actually, no. 340 00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:59,610 oh, I'm sweating. 341 00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:01,612 You're getting me all hot. 342 00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:04,406 You don't like my hair, do you? 343 00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:07,409 - I think there has been a mistake. - Did you say steak? 344 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:10,370 - No, mistake. - Oh, see, now you got me all excited. 345 00:31:10,412 --> 00:31:12,372 Look, I'm gay. 346 00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,583 Well, how gay are you? 347 00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:17,920 Very, very gay. You must have dialed the Very Gay Escort Service. 348 00:31:18,003 --> 00:31:19,922 Oh, shit. 349 00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:24,301 See, sometimes my fingers swell up and I can't cleanly hit the numbers. 350 00:31:24,384 --> 00:31:28,138 - They should make a phone for full figured girls - They should. 351 00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:31,725 So, what do we do? 352 00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:39,483 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 353 00:31:39,566 --> 00:31:42,819 Cakes and pies. Cakes and pies. 354 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:45,822 Okay, which pie has the most sugar? 355 00:31:45,906 --> 00:31:48,325 - Peach cobbler. - You win again. 356 00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:50,327 That's four games to one. 357 00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:53,413 Well, fast food trivia is my game, honey. 358 00:31:56,083 --> 00:32:00,003 I must tell you, nobody has ever pleasured Jabba the Slut. 359 00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:04,466 Deuce, you have a way of satisfying a woman that would sicken a normal man. 360 00:32:04,508 --> 00:32:06,510 I can't do this anymore. 361 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:08,971 You must have a magical "man vagina". 362 00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,098 - Huh? - "Man vagina" 363 00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:16,186 It's a professional term we man-whores use to describe our... he pussy. 364 00:32:16,270 --> 00:32:18,438 I'm not one of your man whores. 365 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,982 Okay? I quit. 366 00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:22,484 You ungrateful he bitch. 367 00:32:22,568 --> 00:32:25,779 How about I get Antoine on the phone in Switzerland and tell him... 368 00:32:25,863 --> 00:32:27,823 how you redecorated his gay palace. 369 00:32:27,865 --> 00:32:31,326 I'm not an ungrateful he bitch. 370 00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:33,829 Just give me a minute to think here. 371 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,398 Thanks. 372 00:33:01,481 --> 00:33:04,359 - How is it going? - Pretty good. 373 00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:07,487 - Hey, Dad, let me ask you a question. - And what's that, son? 374 00:33:07,529 --> 00:33:10,991 Do you think it's wrong for a man to accept money from a woman... 375 00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:13,535 to, you know, show her a good time? 376 00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,746 I was just thinking about that this morning. 377 00:33:15,829 --> 00:33:19,875 The idea of a man whore is a relatively new idea. 378 00:33:22,252 --> 00:33:24,338 - Cologne? - No, thanks. 379 00:33:26,798 --> 00:33:30,219 These women are looking for something more than just sex. They want romance. 380 00:33:30,260 --> 00:33:32,513 What do you mean? 381 00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:36,725 Well, it was like when I met your mom, God rest her soul. 382 00:33:36,808 --> 00:33:39,728 I didn't have so much as a toilet to clean. 383 00:33:39,811 --> 00:33:43,732 Still, I was not going to pay her a dime for sex, no matter what she was charging. 384 00:33:43,815 --> 00:33:45,609 What? 385 00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:48,946 Your mom could have any man she wanted in that strip club, 386 00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:53,408 and this being my first time in Bangkok, I was looking for a good time myself. 387 00:33:53,492 --> 00:33:55,744 - You met Mom where? - It's not important. - 388 00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:58,455 The thing is, she saw something in me... 389 00:33:58,539 --> 00:34:01,041 beyond the 200 dollar... 390 00:34:01,124 --> 00:34:03,043 A man with an eye for adventure... 391 00:34:03,085 --> 00:34:05,212 who was not afraid to risk it all. 392 00:34:05,254 --> 00:34:07,214 Dad, are you saying that... 393 00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:14,596 So we took all her one dollar bills off the stage, 394 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,598 said good-bye to that donkey... 395 00:34:16,682 --> 00:34:20,644 and two days later we were man and wife. 396 00:34:20,727 --> 00:34:23,146 And we were happily married a long time. 397 00:34:23,230 --> 00:34:27,401 So, do you think I should be more of a risk taker? 398 00:34:27,484 --> 00:34:29,486 Worked for me. 399 00:34:29,570 --> 00:34:31,572 Thanks, Pops. 400 00:34:35,701 --> 00:34:38,120 Well, son, 401 00:34:38,203 --> 00:34:41,123 looks like I have got some work to do. 402 00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:47,754 You got yourself a man whore. 404 00:34:49,798 --> 00:34:51,508 My man! 405 00:35:03,979 --> 00:35:06,815 - Is... Is Tina here? - Yes. 406 00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:09,484 I'm Deuce Bigalow, your date. 407 00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:11,612 I will get my things. 408 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,453 I love this place. 409 00:35:19,494 --> 00:35:21,788 - Where you from again? - Norway. 410 00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:24,791 - Freak! - I hear great things about it. 411 00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:28,170 - Holy shit, it's Bigfoot! - So, how'd you end up here? 412 00:35:28,253 --> 00:35:31,173 I had a pituitary gland procedure at U.C.L.A. Medical Center ... 413 00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:34,176 and fell in love with the people here. 414 00:35:34,218 --> 00:35:36,178 Hey, keep it in the circus! 415 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:40,182 This place has gone way downhill. What do you say we go somewhere else? 416 00:35:40,224 --> 00:35:42,184 That's a huge bitch! 417 00:35:43,644 --> 00:35:46,396 I'm sorry about what those people said. 418 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,899 You should be able to go on all the rides. 419 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,487 I had a really great time, 420 00:35:53,529 --> 00:35:55,572 but I should go... 421 00:35:55,656 --> 00:35:57,491 Easy. Easy! 422 00:35:57,533 --> 00:35:59,243 Hey, easy! 423 00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:01,578 Wait! Wait! 424 00:36:01,662 --> 00:36:03,664 ah! Wait, wait! 425 00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:07,042 I know what we could do! I got it! 426 00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:11,338 Give me a second to think here! Wait! Whoa! 427 00:36:11,421 --> 00:36:16,009 Oh, yes. Ohh! 429 00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:27,062 Oh, God! 430 00:36:27,145 --> 00:36:31,066 Oh, no one has ever touched my feet before. 432 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,999 Deuce Bigalow? 433 00:36:47,082 --> 00:36:48,917 Detective Fowler, L.A.P.D. 434 00:36:49,001 --> 00:36:52,880 I want to ask you a few questions about Antoine Laconte, 435 00:36:52,921 --> 00:36:56,550 known gigolo, male prostitute. 436 00:36:56,633 --> 00:36:59,595 I'm just taking care of his fish. 437 00:36:59,636 --> 00:37:01,471 I bet you are. 438 00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:03,432 You make me sick. 439 00:37:03,515 --> 00:37:08,353 You're going to tell me that gigantic woman didn't just pay you to have sex with her? 440 00:37:08,437 --> 00:37:11,064 - No! - Let me tell you something, mister. 441 00:37:11,148 --> 00:37:15,402 I can sleep at night because I make a decent, God fearing, honest living. 442 00:37:15,444 --> 00:37:18,363 I'm sure you do, but there's nothing I can tell you. 443 00:37:18,447 --> 00:37:20,282 Oh, I think there is. 444 00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:22,242 What do you think of this? 445 00:37:22,284 --> 00:37:25,287 - You think I can get anything for it? You know, money? - I don't know! 446 00:37:25,329 --> 00:37:29,124 - Yeah, you think I'm a loser, don't you? - No, I don't. 447 00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:33,629 Well, maybe I am a loser, but I'm a loser who can bust your ass. 448 00:37:33,670 --> 00:37:37,257 You tell Antoine I'm gonna nail him. 449 00:37:54,274 --> 00:37:56,193 Hello. 450 00:37:56,276 --> 00:37:58,946 - Is this Ruth? - Yeah. I'll be right down... 451 00:37:58,987 --> 00:38:01,406 Goddamn it! 452 00:38:01,490 --> 00:38:03,450 - Nice day, huh? - Yeah. 453 00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:05,494 Shove it up your ass! 454 00:38:10,332 --> 00:38:12,584 Geez, you okay? 455 00:38:12,668 --> 00:38:15,671 I'm sorry. I have Tourette's syndrome. 456 00:38:15,754 --> 00:38:19,258 It causes me to have these uncontrollable outbursts. 457 00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:21,844 - It's not so bad. - Yeah, it's okay. 458 00:38:21,927 --> 00:38:23,846 I mean, you get used to it. 459 00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:26,265 Ball sweat! Anus! 460 00:38:26,348 --> 00:38:28,267 Anus licker! 461 00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,520 You know, there are some places... 462 00:38:31,603 --> 00:38:33,522 I can't go... 463 00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,774 Nipple biter! 464 00:38:37,192 --> 00:38:40,112 What are you talking about? I barely notice it. 465 00:38:40,195 --> 00:38:42,322 Scrotum! 466 00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:44,783 Sperm! Sperm face! 467 00:38:45,951 --> 00:38:48,495 I just can't go near places like churches... 468 00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:50,163 Ha ha! Vulva! 469 00:38:50,247 --> 00:38:53,876 Elementary schools... 470 00:38:53,959 --> 00:38:55,878 Pretty much anywhere. 471 00:38:55,961 --> 00:38:58,380 Fart! Dildo! 472 00:38:58,463 --> 00:38:59,715 Big... Big, big titties! 473 00:39:00,799 --> 00:39:03,969 Shit! Shit whore! 474 00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:08,307 Let's put the top up. I'll put on the air conditioning. 475 00:39:11,310 --> 00:39:13,854 You probably want to take me home, don't you? 476 00:39:13,896 --> 00:39:15,856 No. 477 00:39:17,399 --> 00:39:19,359 Hey, I got an idea. 479 00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,658 I'm nervous. There are a lot of people here. 480 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:28,660 - Don't worry... - Crap muncher! 481 00:39:28,744 --> 00:39:30,662 "Crap muncher"? 482 00:39:30,746 --> 00:39:33,332 I know! He was definitely safe! 483 00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:36,877 - What do you think about the other team? - Assholes! 484 00:39:36,919 --> 00:39:39,379 Right. And their pitcher... 485 00:39:39,421 --> 00:39:42,382 I mean, stop stalling and throw it already. 486 00:39:42,424 --> 00:39:44,676 Ball hair! Ball hair! 487 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,012 Yeah, ball hair! 488 00:39:47,095 --> 00:39:50,182 What we need is a strike hair. 489 00:39:50,265 --> 00:39:53,060 That other team is a bunch of high-priced babies! 490 00:39:53,101 --> 00:39:55,062 - Whores! - Yeah! You tell 'em, baby! 491 00:40:00,359 --> 00:40:02,444 They called him out? 492 00:40:02,528 --> 00:40:05,113 - Scrotum licker! - Yeah! 493 00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:07,616 Piss face! Piss face! Piss face! 494 00:40:07,658 --> 00:40:12,621 Piss face! Piss face! Piss face! Piss face! 495 00:40:12,663 --> 00:40:15,415 Piss face! Piss face! Piss face! 496 00:40:17,543 --> 00:40:21,296 Deuce, you the best he bitch in my man stable. 497 00:40:21,380 --> 00:40:24,800 If I had two more man vaginas like you, I'd be a millionaire. 498 00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:27,302 T.J., I think I'm going to get out. 499 00:40:27,344 --> 00:40:29,304 Sit down. 500 00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:34,059 - This next date is what we man pimps call a doozy. - What's wrong with this one? 501 00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:35,936 - Nothing. - Have you seen her? 502 00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:38,397 What is she, 80? A hunchback? 503 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,443 She just got out of college. Her girlfriends pitched in to get her a little beefcake. 504 00:40:43,527 --> 00:40:46,905 - She thinks it's a blind date. - It's a guy, isn't it? 505 00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:51,952 I don't think so, but I have been fooled before. 506 00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:16,602 You must be Kate. 507 00:41:16,685 --> 00:41:18,604 Excuse me. Waiter. 508 00:41:18,687 --> 00:41:22,357 Uh, yeah, sorry. We're busy tonight. 509 00:41:24,526 --> 00:41:26,445 - All right, number four? - Yes, thank you. 510 00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:32,951 - I'm Kate. - Are you sure? 511 00:41:33,035 --> 00:41:35,037 I think so. 512 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,539 I'm sorry. You're just not what I expected. 513 00:41:38,624 --> 00:41:41,335 - Really. - No, no. 514 00:41:41,418 --> 00:41:44,588 I mean, in a good way. 515 00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:48,550 They did not say you were so... perfect. 516 00:41:48,634 --> 00:41:50,677 "Perfect" 517 00:41:51,929 --> 00:41:54,890 Sally and Megan did not tell me a lot about you. 518 00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:57,893 Who? 519 00:41:57,976 --> 00:41:59,895 Oh, right, uh... 520 00:41:59,978 --> 00:42:03,815 Well, I clean tanks... ers. Tankers. 521 00:42:04,983 --> 00:42:07,402 I'm sorry. I'm still kind of shocked. 522 00:42:07,486 --> 00:42:10,239 I mean, you are... You are really normal. 523 00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:13,325 Thank you. 524 00:42:13,408 --> 00:42:16,036 My last couple of dates have been horrible. 525 00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:20,290 - You get fixed up on a lot of blind dates? - Only recently. 526 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:25,045 - How about you? - This is my first. 527 00:42:25,128 --> 00:42:28,549 - I hope this place is okay. - Are you kidding? It's terrific. 528 00:42:31,009 --> 00:42:32,886 Oh, God. 529 00:42:32,928 --> 00:42:36,014 - Are you okay? - Is this one of those... 530 00:42:36,098 --> 00:42:38,225 It's a sushi bar. 531 00:42:38,267 --> 00:42:40,435 - Are you allergic? - You could say that. 532 00:42:40,519 --> 00:42:43,522 That's a dog faced puffer fish over there. 533 00:42:43,605 --> 00:42:47,442 He's not even fully matured yet. He's a teenager, for crying out loud! 534 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,865 Can I ask you to stop that, please? 536 00:42:57,327 --> 00:43:01,498 I don't see how it could possibly be pleasurable for a woman. 537 00:43:01,582 --> 00:43:04,459 I just don't think it's natural. 538 00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:06,795 You're not supposed to go up there. 539 00:43:06,837 --> 00:43:09,798 To tell you the truth, I don't know how men do it either. 540 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,093 You're not curious Just to try something new? 541 00:43:13,177 --> 00:43:16,138 I'm just not into it. 542 00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:19,641 - So space exploration is definitely out for you. - Definitely. 543 00:43:19,683 --> 00:43:22,644 I mean, more power to any woman who wants to be an astronaut. 544 00:43:22,686 --> 00:43:24,646 I just would not do it. 545 00:43:24,688 --> 00:43:27,649 Frankly, I would rather take it up the butt. 546 00:43:31,361 --> 00:43:34,323 So you think this is a good spot? 547 00:43:35,490 --> 00:43:37,451 Perfect. 548 00:43:39,912 --> 00:43:41,830 - Life is funny, huh? 549 00:43:41,914 --> 00:43:43,832 Some pretty close calls. 550 00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:48,170 Wonder if he knew how close he came to the end. 551 00:43:48,253 --> 00:43:50,672 Oh, he knew. 552 00:43:50,756 --> 00:43:54,343 I bet he never thought he would be held by such a lovely woman. 553 00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,345 Deuce. 554 00:43:56,428 --> 00:44:00,516 You're embarrassing me in front of our new friend. 555 00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:13,487 That was a really nice thing you did tonight. 556 00:44:15,072 --> 00:44:18,033 Too bad it's a freshwater fish. 557 00:44:18,075 --> 00:44:20,786 I'm kidding. 558 00:44:20,869 --> 00:44:22,788 I'm just joking. 559 00:44:24,623 --> 00:44:26,500 ♪ Takes some time ♪ 560 00:44:26,542 --> 00:44:29,336 ♪ For our feelings to grow ♪ 561 00:44:29,419 --> 00:44:33,006 - Good night. 562 00:44:33,048 --> 00:44:35,175 - ♪ You are so close now ♪ - Good night. 563 00:44:35,217 --> 00:44:38,804 ♪ I can't let you go ♪ 565 00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:45,853 ♪ And I can't let go ♪ 566 00:44:45,894 --> 00:44:49,857 ♪ With you I'm not shy ♪ 567 00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:52,234 ♪ To show the way I feel ♪ 568 00:44:52,317 --> 00:44:54,695 ♪ With you I might try ♪ 569 00:44:56,113 --> 00:44:58,532 You have had yourself an interesting little evening. 570 00:44:58,574 --> 00:45:02,244 Just taking care of his fish, huh? She looks like a nice catch. 571 00:45:02,327 --> 00:45:05,706 - It was a first date. - Listen up, man whore. 572 00:45:05,747 --> 00:45:07,708 I ought to bust you right now. 573 00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:11,211 We just had sushi. - "Sushi"? Is that what they call it nowadays? 574 00:45:11,253 --> 00:45:13,881 I'm up on your man whore slang. 575 00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:19,052 All right, fine, why don't I just go have a chat with your spicy tuna roll. 576 00:45:19,094 --> 00:45:20,596 No, don't! 577 00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:24,850 All right. Okay, Deuce. 578 00:45:24,933 --> 00:45:26,894 No problem, baby. Relax. 579 00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:30,397 Maybe I'll even let this one slide for some information. 580 00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:32,774 Like Antoine's black book. 581 00:45:32,858 --> 00:45:35,944 - You know, the one with his list of clients. - I don't know anything about it. 582 00:45:36,028 --> 00:45:38,280 Oh, yeah? You know anything about this? 583 00:45:39,364 --> 00:45:41,617 Look. See that red spot? 584 00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:45,037 That wasn't there this morning. You know what it is? 585 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,457 Maybe it's a rash, something you got from jogging. How the hell do I know? 586 00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:51,460 Get it away from me. 587 00:45:51,543 --> 00:45:53,462 Maybe you're right. 588 00:45:53,545 --> 00:45:55,881 You got three days, Bigalow. 589 00:46:03,805 --> 00:46:07,142 T.J., I really like this girl. 590 00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:11,563 Deuce, don't be falling in love with no she john. You are in it for the money. 591 00:46:11,647 --> 00:46:14,983 Antoine will be back soon. Apartment is not going to pay to fix itself. 592 00:46:15,067 --> 00:46:16,985 I know. 593 00:46:17,069 --> 00:46:20,906 - Hey, there has been this detective following me. - Goddamn it, white boy! 594 00:46:20,989 --> 00:46:24,159 - You did not tell him anything about me, did you? - No, but what should I do? 595 00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:28,789 - About what? - About the cop. 596 00:46:28,830 --> 00:46:31,250 Would you stop mentioning the damn cops! 597 00:46:31,333 --> 00:46:34,253 Don't make me he bitch man slap you. 598 00:46:45,055 --> 00:46:48,517 Hi, I'm Deuce Bigalow, your man whore for this evening. 599 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,769 Hi, I'm Carol... 600 00:46:53,856 --> 00:46:56,483 I have narcolepsy. It's a sleeping disorder. 601 00:46:56,525 --> 00:46:58,318 It isn't the worst thing. 602 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,822 I'm just not allowed to fly in a plane or drive a car... 603 00:47:01,905 --> 00:47:03,866 or work in a gun range. 604 00:47:03,907 --> 00:47:06,493 Yes. 605 00:47:24,469 --> 00:47:26,388 This is such a treat. 606 00:47:26,471 --> 00:47:30,392 I have always wanted to try soup, but there is the fear of drowning. 607 00:47:40,068 --> 00:47:41,987 I really had fun. 608 00:47:42,070 --> 00:47:45,199 - Are you going to be okay? - I will be fine. 609 00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,201 - You sure? - Yes. 610 00:47:47,242 --> 00:47:49,536 Good night. 611 00:48:12,601 --> 00:48:16,897 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 612 00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:19,566 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 613 00:48:19,608 --> 00:48:22,069 ♪ Yes, it's true ♪ 614 00:48:23,487 --> 00:48:26,073 ♪ Yes, it's true ♪ 615 00:48:28,534 --> 00:48:31,912 ♪ Whenever we kiss I get to feeling like this ♪ 616 00:48:31,954 --> 00:48:35,916 ♪ I get to wishing that there were two of you ♪ 617 00:48:35,999 --> 00:48:38,043 - ♪ - Come on. You can dance. 618 00:48:38,126 --> 00:48:42,589 ♪ Come on, baby It feels so nice ♪ 619 00:48:42,673 --> 00:48:44,800 ♪ I want your arms to ♪ 620 00:48:44,883 --> 00:48:48,804 ♪ Wrap around me twice ♪ 621 00:48:51,682 --> 00:48:55,811 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 622 00:48:55,894 --> 00:48:58,814 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 623 00:48:58,897 --> 00:49:00,148 ♪ Right or wrong ♪ 624 00:49:02,568 --> 00:49:04,486 ♪ Hey, right or wrong ♪ 625 00:49:11,869 --> 00:49:15,455 - ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ - Oh, Deuce. 626 00:49:15,539 --> 00:49:18,375 - You look great. - Thanks. 627 00:49:18,458 --> 00:49:20,127 I want you to meet my roommate. 628 00:49:20,210 --> 00:49:22,004 Who's there? Kate? 629 00:49:22,087 --> 00:49:25,549 - I hear someone. - It's just me and my friend. 630 00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:28,260 Are you sure? I hear three people. 631 00:49:28,343 --> 00:49:30,304 You are the third person. 632 00:49:30,387 --> 00:49:32,347 Oh. Oh, okay. 633 00:49:32,431 --> 00:49:35,851 She is newly blind. She is still getting adjusted. 634 00:49:35,893 --> 00:49:39,354 Bergita, this is Deuce. 635 00:49:39,438 --> 00:49:41,648 I think there's something wrong with Cassie. 636 00:49:41,690 --> 00:49:44,193 Oh, honey. 637 00:49:44,276 --> 00:49:46,028 This is not Cassie. 638 00:49:46,111 --> 00:49:48,113 Here she is. 639 00:49:50,199 --> 00:49:52,367 Oh, there you are. 640 00:49:52,451 --> 00:49:54,995 - It's nice to meet you. - Hi. 641 00:49:56,872 --> 00:50:01,502 Once you try it for the first time, you are pretty happy with the results. 642 00:50:01,543 --> 00:50:04,505 I have never met a hair transplant technician before. 643 00:50:11,553 --> 00:50:15,724 Oh, man, I forgot. It's my dad's birthday. 644 00:50:15,807 --> 00:50:18,227 - Let's go see him. - He's working. 645 00:50:18,268 --> 00:50:20,229 So? What does he do? 646 00:50:21,438 --> 00:50:25,400 He is in the restaurant industry. 647 00:50:27,694 --> 00:50:31,198 Kate, I'd like you to meet my dad, Bob Bigalow. 648 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:33,575 Bob, Kate. 649 00:50:33,659 --> 00:50:35,577 Hi. 650 00:50:35,661 --> 00:50:37,579 Son, I'm very proud of you. 651 00:50:37,663 --> 00:50:40,582 She is a lovely young lady. 652 00:50:40,666 --> 00:50:43,085 Thank you. 653 00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:46,088 It's so nice to meet you. Happy birthday. 654 00:50:46,171 --> 00:50:48,757 - Thank you. - Well, we should probably be going. 655 00:50:48,841 --> 00:50:51,176 Deuce. 656 00:50:51,260 --> 00:50:54,096 Dad probably has a lot of paperwork to do, and... 657 00:50:54,179 --> 00:50:56,849 No, the paper is completely stocked. 658 00:50:56,932 --> 00:51:01,603 I have got plenty of time to get acquainted with the woman who has made my boy so happy. 659 00:51:01,687 --> 00:51:04,189 We got you a cake. 660 00:51:04,273 --> 00:51:06,191 Deuce said it's your favorite. 661 00:51:06,275 --> 00:51:10,112 - We had to go to a Filipino bakery to get it. - You did not. 662 00:51:11,196 --> 00:51:13,115 You did! 663 00:51:13,198 --> 00:51:15,409 Raspberry bibingka. 664 00:51:15,450 --> 00:51:17,411 Ah, you should not have. 665 00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:20,080 My wife, God rest her soul, 666 00:51:20,122 --> 00:51:22,291 use to make this all the time. 667 00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,293 You would have liked her. 668 00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:26,295 Bangkok Betty. 669 00:51:27,796 --> 00:51:31,758 She had the most amazing mouth. It paid for our honeymoon. 670 00:51:33,302 --> 00:51:34,887 We should probably be going. 671 00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:37,890 Deuce, it's your dad's birthday. 672 00:51:40,642 --> 00:51:44,771 Hi. Bob, we have an overflowing toilet in the ladies' bathroom. 673 00:51:44,855 --> 00:51:47,816 There is shit everywhere. It's a real mess. 674 00:51:47,858 --> 00:51:51,820 - You think you could take care of that for me? - No worries, Vic. Right on it. 675 00:51:51,862 --> 00:51:54,823 - I would like you to meet my son's girlfriend Kate. - Kate, nice to meet you. 676 00:51:54,865 --> 00:51:56,450 - You, too. - Hi, Deuce. 677 00:51:56,533 --> 00:51:58,911 So could you get in there, Bob? 678 00:51:58,994 --> 00:52:03,165 I got a party of ten coming in, and I am up to my ankles in human crap. 679 00:52:03,248 --> 00:52:05,459 It's a real stinker back there. 680 00:52:05,542 --> 00:52:07,503 Sure. 681 00:52:07,544 --> 00:52:10,172 Looks like I had better get back to work. 682 00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:12,799 It's a pleasure meeting you, dear. 683 00:52:12,841 --> 00:52:15,844 Warms my heart Just being in your presence. 684 00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:18,430 Thank you. 685 00:52:18,514 --> 00:52:20,432 See you, son. 686 00:52:24,311 --> 00:52:28,232 See, my dad is one of those guys, he likes to be involved in every facet of the business. 687 00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:32,277 - It's okay. - No problem to small or big. They come to him for everything. 688 00:52:32,361 --> 00:52:35,197 Deuce, it's all right. 689 00:52:36,823 --> 00:52:40,118 It's not his restaurant. 690 00:52:40,202 --> 00:52:43,205 My dad is not even a waiter. 691 00:52:43,288 --> 00:52:46,708 He is the men's room attendant. I'm sorry. 692 00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:49,211 Don't be silly. 693 00:52:50,504 --> 00:52:52,798 You know what my dad does? 694 00:52:52,881 --> 00:52:55,217 He's an aeronautical engineer. 695 00:53:06,436 --> 00:53:08,397 Bob? 696 00:53:13,944 --> 00:53:16,864 Want to blow out your candle? 697 00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,334 now that is good cake. 698 00:53:37,843 --> 00:53:40,721 I had a really nice time tonight. 699 00:53:40,762 --> 00:53:43,348 I find that hard to believe. 700 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,354 I have never met anyone like you. 701 00:53:49,438 --> 00:53:52,024 Good. 702 00:53:53,233 --> 00:53:55,152 I have to see you again. 703 00:53:57,571 --> 00:54:00,991 When we go inside, try to be quiet so we don't wake up Bergita. 704 00:54:03,785 --> 00:54:07,539 ♪ With you I'm not shy ♪ 705 00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:10,918 ♪ To show the way I feel ♪ 706 00:54:10,959 --> 00:54:13,879 ♪ With you I might try ♪ 707 00:54:13,962 --> 00:54:17,090 ♪ My secrets to reveal ♪ 708 00:54:17,174 --> 00:54:20,385 ♪ For you are a magnet ♪ 709 00:54:20,469 --> 00:54:24,431 ♪ And I am steel ♪ 710 00:54:24,515 --> 00:54:26,475 Why don't I get the light? 711 00:54:28,477 --> 00:54:30,979 Hang on. I'll be right back. Be right back. 713 00:54:41,156 --> 00:54:42,950 You are good. 714 00:54:53,293 --> 00:54:55,671 - Hi. - Hi. 715 00:54:58,382 --> 00:55:00,342 Are you all right? 716 00:55:00,384 --> 00:55:03,470 I need you to be okay with something. 717 00:55:03,554 --> 00:55:06,014 What? I'm okay with everything. 718 00:55:06,056 --> 00:55:08,141 Deuce. 719 00:55:08,183 --> 00:55:10,978 There may be things about me that you don't like. 720 00:55:11,061 --> 00:55:13,939 I like everything about you. 721 00:55:14,022 --> 00:55:18,068 I mean, physically. 722 00:55:18,151 --> 00:55:21,572 So you are taller than me. Big deal. I'll get over it. 723 00:55:21,655 --> 00:55:24,241 It's not that. 724 00:55:24,324 --> 00:55:26,243 What? 725 00:55:26,326 --> 00:55:29,997 If you were to find out something about me... 726 00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,166 and my body that was maybe a little different... 727 00:55:33,208 --> 00:55:35,752 than what you were used to, would that be okay? 728 00:55:35,836 --> 00:55:39,882 There could be nothing on your body that I would not like. 729 00:55:39,965 --> 00:55:42,009 What are you talking about? 730 00:55:43,677 --> 00:55:47,973 What do you have, like, six toes or something? I can live with that. 731 00:55:48,056 --> 00:55:50,350 Deuce, I have to tell you, 732 00:55:50,392 --> 00:55:52,728 - I have a... 733 00:56:24,885 --> 00:56:27,888 Oh, my God. I'm sorry! 734 00:56:27,930 --> 00:56:31,558 - I tried to tell you. - No, it's my fault. 735 00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,394 I should not have pulled it so hard. 736 00:56:34,436 --> 00:56:36,480 If you want to leave, I completely understand. 737 00:56:36,563 --> 00:56:39,358 I don't want to leave. I'm sorry I had that reaction. 738 00:56:39,441 --> 00:56:41,985 I just... I got a lot of things going on in my life recently, 739 00:56:42,069 --> 00:56:44,112 and they all sort of culminated when your leg fell off... 740 00:56:44,196 --> 00:56:46,198 Came off... Disconnected... 741 00:56:46,281 --> 00:56:48,951 - Just get out! - Oh, my God! 742 00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:50,869 Please leave. 743 00:56:53,413 --> 00:56:56,959 Kate! I am sorry! 744 00:56:57,042 --> 00:56:59,294 Just go home. 745 00:56:59,378 --> 00:57:01,713 Don't I have a say in this? 746 00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:03,715 Hand me my leg. 747 00:57:03,799 --> 00:57:06,635 - Then will you come out and talk? - I don't know. 748 00:57:14,852 --> 00:57:16,979 Are you sure you want to stay? 749 00:57:17,062 --> 00:57:20,858 Yes, but only if you come out of there. 750 00:57:22,150 --> 00:57:26,113 I need to know how you feel about all this. 751 00:57:26,196 --> 00:57:29,283 The same as I did an hour ago, 752 00:57:29,324 --> 00:57:32,619 when I thought to myself, "I am the luckiest guy in the world... 753 00:57:32,703 --> 00:57:35,205 to be with her leg... With you." 755 00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:09,615 Is this normal? My face is numb. 756 00:58:09,698 --> 00:58:12,743 It's perfectly normal in hair replacement surgery. 757 00:58:12,826 --> 00:58:15,954 The local anesthetic has numbed the major nerves in your face, 758 00:58:16,038 --> 00:58:17,998 Just like at the dentist. 760 00:58:21,668 --> 00:58:26,173 You are Kate's best friends, and I know your opinions mean a lot to her. 761 00:58:26,256 --> 00:58:30,010 And... I'd like to get really serious with her. 762 00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:33,055 - You are a prostitute! - Not anymore. 763 00:58:33,096 --> 00:58:35,057 And it's "man whore". 764 00:58:35,098 --> 00:58:38,977 Anyway, I just quit. I mean, Kate's the one for me. 765 00:58:39,061 --> 00:58:41,188 Listen, you were only supposed to go out with her one night, 766 00:58:41,271 --> 00:58:43,482 show her a good time, and then get the hell out of her life. 767 00:58:43,565 --> 00:58:46,527 - You know she is not normal. - She is not like other girls. 768 00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:49,655 You know what her problem is? Friends like you. 769 00:58:49,738 --> 00:58:51,865 She is perfect. She is kind, 770 00:58:51,907 --> 00:58:55,619 she is sweet, she's funny, and she likes me. 771 00:58:55,702 --> 00:58:57,788 Now I came here to give you your money back... 772 00:58:57,871 --> 00:59:01,625 The money you paid a stranger to have sex with your friend. 773 00:59:03,752 --> 00:59:07,214 Hey! You stay away from her, man whore! 774 00:59:07,297 --> 00:59:10,968 Hiya, Deuce. Your three days are up, lover boy. 775 00:59:11,051 --> 00:59:14,388 - So where is Antoine's black book? - I've looked everywhere. 776 00:59:14,429 --> 00:59:17,641 Listen, punk, you are aiding and abetting a known criminal. 777 00:59:17,724 --> 00:59:20,060 Do the initials T and J mean anything to you? 778 00:59:20,102 --> 00:59:22,563 turkey ? I don't... 779 00:59:22,604 --> 00:59:27,317 You better show some respect, or I'm going to rip that pleasure giving tongue out of your head! 780 00:59:27,401 --> 00:59:29,403 One more thing. 781 00:59:29,444 --> 00:59:32,239 I was at the precinct, and I really had to use the john, 782 00:59:32,322 --> 00:59:34,491 and it's pretty filthy in there and I was in kind of a hurry... 783 00:59:34,575 --> 00:59:37,578 and I didn't have time to use one of those, you know, paper ass gaskets. 784 00:59:37,619 --> 00:59:41,456 I was doing my business, and something sort of splashed up on me, all over. 785 00:59:41,498 --> 00:59:45,252 What do you do in situations like that? You think I will be all right? 786 00:59:45,294 --> 00:59:48,797 - I think you are pretty safe. - I better be! 787 00:59:54,136 --> 00:59:57,222 ♪ - Ugly is not a problem for this guy. 788 00:59:57,306 --> 00:59:59,516 My man would stick his dick in a he monkey. 789 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,518 All right. I will catch you later. 790 01:00:03,353 --> 01:00:05,856 What up, Deucey? 791 01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:08,567 You should know, that cop won't leave me alone. 792 01:00:08,650 --> 01:00:11,528 - ♪ - What about the cop? 793 01:00:11,612 --> 01:00:14,740 - He's been asking questions. - Goddamn white boy. 794 01:00:14,823 --> 01:00:17,367 Anyway, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I quit. 795 01:00:17,451 --> 01:00:19,494 What about Antoine's apartment? 796 01:00:19,578 --> 01:00:22,581 I'm going to get the rest of the money the old fashioned way. 797 01:00:22,664 --> 01:00:24,583 You going to steal it? 798 01:00:26,627 --> 01:00:28,545 See you, T.J. 799 01:00:36,345 --> 01:00:39,139 I just quit! I'm never doing it again! 800 01:00:39,181 --> 01:00:43,393 - You lied to me! - Listen, please. It's not what you think. 801 01:00:43,477 --> 01:00:46,146 You were paid to go out with me! 802 01:00:52,152 --> 01:00:54,530 - You want breakfast? - Kate! 803 01:00:54,571 --> 01:00:59,326 Please go away! I don't want to see you again! 804 01:00:59,368 --> 01:01:02,746 Me neither. 805 01:01:02,829 --> 01:01:04,873 I'm sorry. 806 01:01:14,675 --> 01:01:18,095 ♪ I feel sad when you're sad ♪ 807 01:01:18,178 --> 01:01:21,265 ♪ I feel glad when you're glad ♪ 808 01:01:21,348 --> 01:01:25,727 ♪ And if you only knew what I'm going through ♪ 809 01:01:25,811 --> 01:01:28,355 ♪ I just can't smile ♪ 810 01:01:28,397 --> 01:01:30,691 ♪ With out you ♪ 811 01:01:35,863 --> 01:01:39,533 ♪ You came along just like a song ♪ 812 01:01:39,575 --> 01:01:41,994 ♪ And brightened my day ♪ 813 01:01:42,077 --> 01:01:45,038 ♪ Who'd have believed you were part of a dream ♪ 814 01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:49,710 ♪ And now it all seems a light year away ♪ 815 01:01:49,751 --> 01:01:55,340 ♪ And you know I can't smile with out you ♪ 816 01:01:55,424 --> 01:01:58,552 ♪ I can't smile without you ♪ 817 01:01:58,594 --> 01:02:02,264 ♪ I can't laugh I can't sing ♪ 818 01:02:02,347 --> 01:02:05,684 ♪ I'm finding it hard to do anything ♪ 819 01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:11,064 I'm 1,500 short. Is there anything else you can do? 820 01:02:11,106 --> 01:02:14,693 Listen, I came all over the place... Down from six thousand. 821 01:02:14,776 --> 01:02:17,070 This is a custom hand job. 822 01:02:17,112 --> 01:02:20,282 - Let me pay you monthly. - The last time I did not get the money up front, 823 01:02:20,365 --> 01:02:22,826 I got the big stiff. 824 01:02:25,412 --> 01:02:28,290 Hello? - What the hell are you doing picking up my phone? 825 01:02:28,332 --> 01:02:32,920 - I found the coral you wanted. - If you are doing anything I disapprove of, I will kill you! 826 01:02:32,961 --> 01:02:36,882 Hello, sir. No understand. No speak english. 827 01:02:36,965 --> 01:02:39,259 - Murder! I will kill you! 828 01:02:44,264 --> 01:02:46,767 Hey, Antoine. It's Elaine. 829 01:02:46,850 --> 01:02:48,810 I really need to see you again. 830 01:02:48,852 --> 01:02:51,271 Same price, same place? 831 01:02:52,814 --> 01:02:55,526 I'll have the money. 832 01:02:55,609 --> 01:02:59,112 Hi. Um, this isn't Antoine, 833 01:02:59,154 --> 01:03:01,114 but, uh, maybe we can work something out. 834 01:03:06,453 --> 01:03:08,705 Hi. 835 01:03:22,928 --> 01:03:24,888 I'm Deuce. 836 01:03:42,656 --> 01:03:45,325 - Stop. - Why? 837 01:03:45,409 --> 01:03:48,704 - You don't want to have sex. - Yes, I do. 838 01:03:48,787 --> 01:03:50,998 I think we both do. 839 01:03:54,376 --> 01:03:56,837 Don't you find me attractive? 840 01:03:56,879 --> 01:04:01,008 Are you kidding? You are one of the hottest women I've ever seen. 841 01:04:01,049 --> 01:04:03,677 Easy, easy. 842 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,513 I just can't do this. 843 01:04:06,597 --> 01:04:08,765 I'm head over heels for a girl, 844 01:04:08,849 --> 01:04:11,852 and we are going through a rough time, me being a man whore and all. 845 01:04:11,894 --> 01:04:14,771 But I know it's going to work out, because I love her. 846 01:04:16,690 --> 01:04:19,067 Well, she is a lucky girl. 847 01:04:20,152 --> 01:04:22,196 At least emotionally. 848 01:04:22,237 --> 01:04:25,240 My guy used to be like that. 849 01:04:25,282 --> 01:04:29,703 Hey. Hang in there. 850 01:04:31,955 --> 01:04:34,875 Things have a way of working out. 851 01:04:39,713 --> 01:04:42,508 Hey. Where you going? 852 01:04:44,593 --> 01:04:47,429 Well, I thought we talked and you understood. 853 01:04:47,513 --> 01:04:51,433 I understand. But the fact is, I still paid for your services. 854 01:04:51,517 --> 01:04:54,353 What did you have in mind? 856 01:05:04,404 --> 01:05:08,283 ♪ Baby, let's get together ♪ 857 01:05:08,325 --> 01:05:11,411 ♪ Honey, honey me and you ♪ 858 01:05:12,454 --> 01:05:14,665 ♪ And do the things Ah ♪ 859 01:05:14,748 --> 01:05:17,209 ♪ Do the things ♪ 860 01:05:17,292 --> 01:05:20,587 ♪ That we like to do ♪ 861 01:05:20,629 --> 01:05:23,757 ♪ Oh, do a little dance ♪ 862 01:05:23,841 --> 01:05:27,594 ♪ Make a little love Get down tonight ♪ 863 01:05:27,636 --> 01:05:29,847 ♪ Get down tonight ♪ 864 01:05:29,930 --> 01:05:32,516 ♪ Do a little dance ♪ 865 01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:36,603 ♪ Make a little love Get down tonight ♪ 866 01:05:36,645 --> 01:05:39,731 ♪ Get down tonight, baby Get down, get down ♪ 867 01:05:39,815 --> 01:05:41,942 ♪ Get down, get down ♪ 868 01:05:41,984 --> 01:05:44,027 - ♪ Get down tonight, baby ♪ 870 01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:50,284 ♪ Get down, get down get down, get down ♪ 871 01:05:50,367 --> 01:05:52,494 ♪ Get down tonight, baby ♪ 872 01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:13,640 - I'm just exhausted.- Oh, God, you were amazing. Are you kidding? 873 01:06:17,978 --> 01:06:20,814 I just had to see for myself. 875 01:06:27,613 --> 01:06:31,241 Kate! 876 01:06:31,325 --> 01:06:34,828 ♪ I'm not in love ♪ 877 01:06:34,912 --> 01:06:37,331 ♪ I'm not in love ♪ 879 01:06:50,677 --> 01:06:53,555 - What? - How's Elaine? 880 01:06:53,639 --> 01:06:56,183 You know, your wife. 881 01:06:57,768 --> 01:06:59,603 Bastard! 882 01:06:59,686 --> 01:07:01,563 This was not about some black book. 883 01:07:01,605 --> 01:07:03,774 Your wife was a customer of Antoine's, wasn't she? 884 01:07:03,857 --> 01:07:07,027 That son of a bitch is going down. And you're going to join him! 885 01:07:09,571 --> 01:07:11,865 How is that going to fix your marriage? 886 01:07:15,619 --> 01:07:18,413 Look, I lost someone that I love too. 887 01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:23,418 You know why she did this? 888 01:07:23,460 --> 01:07:26,797 You want to know why she went outside our marriage? 889 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,882 It's because of my dick, man. 890 01:07:28,966 --> 01:07:32,052 I mean, that's the reason. It's my dick. 891 01:07:32,094 --> 01:07:34,638 Take it easy. 892 01:07:34,721 --> 01:07:38,100 You are saying your wife cheated on you because your penis is too small? 893 01:07:38,141 --> 01:07:42,980 It is not too small. It is too thin, okay? My dick is too thin. 894 01:07:43,063 --> 01:07:47,025 - I have got a thin dick! - Can you keep it down? 895 01:07:47,109 --> 01:07:49,736 - I would like to come back here someday. - Everybody knows... 896 01:07:49,778 --> 01:07:52,447 that it's width, width that gives sexual gratification. 897 01:07:52,531 --> 01:07:55,659 I have read it. Cosmo, Redbook, you name it. 898 01:07:55,742 --> 01:08:00,122 What am I supposed to do? I have got the thinnest penis in the world! Here. 899 01:08:00,163 --> 01:08:03,333 - It's like a pencil. Look! - No, no, stop that. 900 01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:06,837 Sit down! Sit! 901 01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:10,299 It's not your dick. It's you. 902 01:08:10,382 --> 01:08:12,426 I'm telling you now, if you painted it silver... 903 01:08:12,509 --> 01:08:15,095 and twisted it on the end, it'd look like a kickstand. 904 01:08:16,305 --> 01:08:18,473 If man whoring has taught me anything, 905 01:08:18,557 --> 01:08:21,435 it's that most women are as unhappy with their entire body... 906 01:08:21,476 --> 01:08:23,562 as you are with your small penis. 907 01:08:23,645 --> 01:08:25,814 - Thin penis. - Whatever. 908 01:08:27,149 --> 01:08:29,776 - While you're worried about your penis, - Thin penis. 909 01:08:29,818 --> 01:08:32,696 Women are worried about their height, 910 01:08:32,779 --> 01:08:35,449 their weight, their giant feet, 911 01:08:35,532 --> 01:08:38,368 the stream of obscenities that could burst through their mouth at any second. 912 01:08:38,452 --> 01:08:41,830 If you make a woman feel good about herself, 913 01:08:41,872 --> 01:08:44,333 it really does not matter what is wrong with you. 914 01:08:46,710 --> 01:08:49,087 Even if it's really, really thin? 915 01:08:49,171 --> 01:08:51,340 We are talking spaghetti stick. 916 01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,719 Tell you what. 917 01:08:55,802 --> 01:08:59,848 Every time you're feeling self conscious about your thin dick, 918 01:08:59,932 --> 01:09:03,352 say something nice to make your woman feel sexy. 919 01:09:04,645 --> 01:09:08,315 I mean, is that it? I mean, is that all there is? 920 01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:12,819 There is one other thing. 921 01:09:12,861 --> 01:09:17,157 ♪ Do a little dance Make a little love ♪ 922 01:09:17,241 --> 01:09:19,326 ♪ Get down tonight ♪ 923 01:09:19,409 --> 01:09:21,745 ♪ Get down tonight ♪ 924 01:09:21,828 --> 01:09:25,791 ♪ Do a little dance Make a little love ♪ 925 01:09:25,874 --> 01:09:29,336 ♪ Get down tonight Get down tonight ♪ 926 01:09:29,419 --> 01:09:31,880 Uh, yes, sir. 927 01:09:31,922 --> 01:09:35,884 Um, you are sure there is not anything you can do? 928 01:09:38,053 --> 01:09:39,972 Yes, sir. I understand. 929 01:09:47,437 --> 01:09:51,817 Listen. I really appreciate you helping me. 930 01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:54,069 I guess I misjudged you. 931 01:09:55,279 --> 01:09:57,322 Anyway, I got you off the hook. 932 01:09:57,406 --> 01:09:59,783 Why am I still worried? 933 01:09:59,867 --> 01:10:02,035 You got to give them T.J. 934 01:10:02,119 --> 01:10:05,080 - I can't do that! - You got no choice. 935 01:10:05,122 --> 01:10:07,082 I have been working on this case for three months. 936 01:10:07,165 --> 01:10:10,836 - Boss says somebody has got to be arrested. - But T.J.'s my friend. 937 01:10:10,919 --> 01:10:13,881 They are serious, Deuce. 938 01:10:13,964 --> 01:10:17,134 Look, I don't like it, but it's either you or him. 939 01:10:20,888 --> 01:10:26,143 Your Honor, sex for money is morally reprehensible. 940 01:10:26,226 --> 01:10:31,231 Mr. Bigalow has compounded this crime by refusing to name his he pimp. 941 01:10:31,273 --> 01:10:34,651 Therefore, we ask for the maximum term... 942 01:10:34,735 --> 01:10:37,613 for each of the five counts of prostitution. 943 01:11:00,135 --> 01:11:02,012 Excuse me. 944 01:11:15,984 --> 01:11:19,279 We never had sex. 945 01:11:19,321 --> 01:11:21,532 We talked about it. 946 01:11:21,615 --> 01:11:23,867 Well, I talked about it. 947 01:11:23,951 --> 01:11:28,580 But Deuce never took advantage of me. He should have. 948 01:11:28,664 --> 01:11:30,582 But he is my friend. 949 01:11:30,666 --> 01:11:36,296 He made me realize that I was not just some hot babe with huge tits. 950 01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:39,341 Even though I am. 951 01:11:39,383 --> 01:11:42,469 Oh, and he also got me walking again. 952 01:11:49,017 --> 01:11:51,562 Deuce and I never had sex. 953 01:11:51,645 --> 01:11:54,314 - It was physically impossible. - Freak! 954 01:11:55,691 --> 01:11:57,985 It's true I paid him money to be with him, 955 01:11:58,068 --> 01:12:02,614 and I would do it again because he made me feel good about myself. 956 01:12:02,698 --> 01:12:05,158 Behemoth. 957 01:12:06,493 --> 01:12:09,830 And no one ever touched my feet before. 958 01:12:09,872 --> 01:12:12,749 That's a huge bitch! 959 01:12:12,833 --> 01:12:16,920 Deuce taught me to be comfortable with who I am. 960 01:12:17,004 --> 01:12:18,881 Thank you, Deuce. 961 01:12:18,964 --> 01:12:21,175 Asshole! 962 01:12:23,552 --> 01:12:26,597 These are very serious charges, Mr. Bigalow. 963 01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:28,765 I just have one question to ask you. 964 01:12:28,849 --> 01:12:32,686 During your entire stint as a he whore, did you have sex with anyone? 965 01:12:35,272 --> 01:12:37,858 Yes, Your Honor. 966 01:12:39,067 --> 01:12:42,029 Just one woman. 967 01:12:42,112 --> 01:12:44,698 And I am in love with her. 968 01:12:44,781 --> 01:12:46,867 Order! 969 01:12:46,909 --> 01:12:48,869 Order, please. 970 01:12:48,911 --> 01:12:51,872 This is very important, Mr. Bigalow. 971 01:12:51,914 --> 01:12:54,416 Did she pay you for sex? 972 01:12:57,252 --> 01:12:59,880 No. 973 01:12:59,922 --> 01:13:01,715 Case dismissed. 974 01:13:03,759 --> 01:13:05,469 Yes! 975 01:13:18,065 --> 01:13:20,859 These shots will deaden the nerve area... 976 01:13:20,943 --> 01:13:24,071 where your hair transplants will be. 977 01:13:25,781 --> 01:13:28,075 There. That should do it. 978 01:13:28,116 --> 01:13:31,578 Nurse, would you please remove our donor hair. 979 01:13:31,620 --> 01:13:33,580 I will be back in a minute. 980 01:13:45,425 --> 01:13:48,846 Mr. Johnson, please Just lie back down now. 981 01:13:48,929 --> 01:13:51,431 Oh, my God. Deuce! 982 01:13:51,515 --> 01:13:53,517 Kate, listen to me. 983 01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:55,519 What are you doing here? 984 01:13:55,602 --> 01:13:58,522 It's the only way I could get you to see me. 985 01:13:58,605 --> 01:14:01,775 Deuce, it is over between us. 986 01:14:04,528 --> 01:14:06,238 Listen, 987 01:14:06,321 --> 01:14:08,574 those shots hurt like hell. 988 01:14:08,657 --> 01:14:10,576 Could you at least hear me out? 989 01:14:10,659 --> 01:14:14,454 Well, I don't know how much you charge by the hour, but you have one minute. 990 01:14:14,496 --> 01:14:17,457 Okay. I deserved that. 991 01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:22,921 I should've told you right from the start, 992 01:14:23,005 --> 01:14:24,923 but I was afraid. 993 01:14:26,008 --> 01:14:27,634 Afraid of what? 994 01:14:27,676 --> 01:14:30,971 Afraid that a girl as wonderful as you... 995 01:14:31,013 --> 01:14:35,559 could never fall for a guy who cleans fish tanks. 996 01:14:35,642 --> 01:14:38,061 Because that's who I really am. 997 01:14:38,145 --> 01:14:41,398 This whole gigolo thing was just a mistake. 998 01:14:41,481 --> 01:14:44,443 But I am glad it happened... 999 01:14:44,526 --> 01:14:48,280 because I never would have met you. 1000 01:14:48,363 --> 01:14:51,283 I never would have known what love was. 1001 01:14:52,367 --> 01:14:56,079 I'm sorry. I'm not perfect. 1002 01:14:58,790 --> 01:15:02,252 I'm not perfect either. 1003 01:15:03,670 --> 01:15:05,923 Yes, you are. 1004 01:15:06,006 --> 01:15:08,842 You are perfect in every way. 1005 01:15:08,884 --> 01:15:11,845 I knew it the moment I met you. 1006 01:15:17,643 --> 01:15:20,562 Kate. 1007 01:15:20,604 --> 01:15:24,191 "You have a smile that could melt an iceberg" 1008 01:15:24,233 --> 01:15:29,321 "Your lips are as sweet as honey" 1009 01:15:29,404 --> 01:15:32,324 "You may only have one leg, 1010 01:15:32,407 --> 01:15:37,204 but it's the most beautiful leg in the world." 1011 01:15:42,334 --> 01:15:45,754 Are you kissing me? because I can't feel a thing. 1012 01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,384 Now boarding at gate 53. 1013 01:15:50,425 --> 01:15:53,387 Flight 14 to Sydney, Australia is now boarding... 1014 01:15:53,428 --> 01:15:55,889 I have never done this in 12 hours before. 1015 01:15:55,931 --> 01:15:58,392 I'm not responsible if the seals leak. 1016 01:16:00,102 --> 01:16:03,480 Shit! Shit cabinet! 1017 01:16:11,989 --> 01:16:14,950 Come on, put the fish in the tank already. 1018 01:16:14,992 --> 01:16:17,953 Antoine's plane landed 20 minutes ago. 1019 01:16:17,995 --> 01:16:20,998 I think we are going to be okay. 1020 01:16:22,291 --> 01:16:24,918 Could you step this way, please? 1021 01:16:27,254 --> 01:16:30,424 Is it time to put the big guy in yet? 1022 01:16:30,507 --> 01:16:33,468 Give him another minute. Temperature's not right. 1023 01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:45,272 Spread them again, please. 1024 01:16:47,983 --> 01:16:50,777 Okay, we can put the last fish in. 1025 01:16:50,861 --> 01:16:52,821 Looks like you pulled it off, kid. 1026 01:16:52,863 --> 01:16:54,823 Time for some tequila! 1027 01:17:00,329 --> 01:17:03,081 Margaritas, anybody? 1028 01:17:23,352 --> 01:17:28,315 I need ... Chinese... tailbar ... lionfish. 1029 01:17:30,692 --> 01:17:32,945 - 700, 800. - Where did you get all that money? 1030 01:17:33,028 --> 01:17:35,948 - Friends. - Yeah, right. 1031 01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:38,617 Anything else? 1032 01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:42,829 On second thought, you had better give me some of those sea snails. 1033 01:18:11,441 --> 01:18:13,402 So, uh, how was your trip? 1034 01:18:14,570 --> 01:18:16,530 Very good... 1035 01:18:16,613 --> 01:18:18,615 till about three hours ago. 1036 01:18:18,699 --> 01:18:21,034 Yeah? What happened? 1037 01:18:21,118 --> 01:18:23,287 I don't want to talk about it. 1038 01:18:26,623 --> 01:18:28,584 The place looks good. 1039 01:18:29,626 --> 01:18:31,587 Good to be home. 1040 01:18:31,628 --> 01:18:34,715 I should take off so you can relax. 1041 01:18:34,798 --> 01:18:37,259 Is there something you are not telling me? 1042 01:18:38,594 --> 01:18:40,387 Yeah. 1043 01:18:40,470 --> 01:18:44,474 I put your mail on the nightstand. 1044 01:18:47,603 --> 01:18:49,563 Right. 1045 01:18:53,609 --> 01:18:55,569 What the hell is this? 1046 01:18:55,611 --> 01:18:58,030 A chocolate margarita. 1047 01:18:58,113 --> 01:18:59,740 You have been having a party? 1048 01:18:59,781 --> 01:19:03,535 It was, uh, more like, uh, a welcome home thing, really. 1049 01:19:05,871 --> 01:19:08,290 I could really use one right now. 1050 01:19:18,383 --> 01:19:20,427 Spicy. 1051 01:19:22,638 --> 01:19:25,098 - I should probably go. - My fish. 1052 01:19:27,226 --> 01:19:28,936 They look smaller. 1053 01:19:31,688 --> 01:19:35,484 Sometimes when they are, uh, sick, 1054 01:19:35,567 --> 01:19:37,694 they will shrink. 1055 01:19:39,446 --> 01:19:41,406 Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish. 1056 01:19:41,490 --> 01:19:44,743 Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish. 1057 01:19:44,826 --> 01:19:47,120 Hey, fish, fish, fish, fish. 1058 01:20:07,724 --> 01:20:11,687 I did man whore for a little bit, but none of your clients. 1059 01:20:11,728 --> 01:20:13,689 None of them. 1060 01:20:13,730 --> 01:20:16,733 I know an aquarium guy who can fix all of this. 1061 01:20:16,817 --> 01:20:19,152 - He's a little expensive... - Hah! 1062 01:20:19,236 --> 01:20:21,238 Deuce! 1063 01:20:26,743 --> 01:20:28,954 No! 1064 01:20:52,769 --> 01:20:55,314 - Deuce! - No! 1065 01:21:07,367 --> 01:21:09,536 Ohh. 1066 01:21:18,754 --> 01:21:20,547 Hey! Tough guy. 1067 01:21:20,631 --> 01:21:23,592 What do you think of this? 1068 01:21:23,634 --> 01:21:25,719 You are busted. 1069 01:21:26,887 --> 01:21:28,805 What is going on out here? 1070 01:21:29,932 --> 01:21:32,392 I can see! 1071 01:21:34,770 --> 01:21:36,522 You are black. 1072 01:21:36,605 --> 01:21:37,814 I knew it. 1073 01:21:49,618 --> 01:21:52,746 ♪ Love ♪ 1074 01:21:52,829 --> 01:21:56,250 ♪ Is what I want ♪ 1075 01:21:56,291 --> 01:21:58,544 ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪ 1076 01:22:00,546 --> 01:22:04,967 ♪ And all you got to do is bring it to me, baby ♪ 1077 01:22:09,012 --> 01:22:12,432 ♪ Talk ♪ 1078 01:22:12,474 --> 01:22:14,601 ♪ Is what I want ♪ 1079 01:22:14,643 --> 01:22:17,229 - ♪ What I want ♪ - ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪ 1080 01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,731 ♪ What I want ♪ 1081 01:22:19,815 --> 01:22:24,444 ♪ And all you got to do is bring it to me, baby ♪ 1082 01:22:28,490 --> 01:22:31,034 - ♪ Talk ♪ - ♪ Come on let's talk about it ♪ 1083 01:22:31,118 --> 01:22:33,579 - ♪ Talk ♪ - ♪ Can't seem to do without it ♪ 1084 01:22:33,662 --> 01:22:35,038 - ♪ Talk ♪ - ♪ Don't want to be ♪ 1085 01:22:35,122 --> 01:22:40,794 ♪ One of the broken hearted ♪ 1086 01:22:40,836 --> 01:22:45,674 ♪ So lift me up Finish what you started ♪ 1087 01:22:45,757 --> 01:22:50,679 ♪ Take me off for a ride ♪ 1088 01:22:50,762 --> 01:22:55,475 ♪ Lift me up from the broken hearted ♪ 1089 01:22:55,559 --> 01:23:00,355 ♪ Rivers deep and wide ♪ 1090 01:23:00,439 --> 01:23:02,858 ♪ Lift me up ♪ 1091 01:23:05,277 --> 01:23:09,990 ♪ Take me off for a ride ♪ 1092 01:23:10,032 --> 01:23:14,828 ♪ Lift me up from the broken hearted ♪ 1093 01:23:14,870 --> 01:23:20,876 ♪ Rivers deep and wide ♪ 1094 01:23:20,959 --> 01:23:24,087 ♪ Color me your color, baby ♪ 1095 01:23:24,171 --> 01:23:27,466 ♪ Color me your car ♪ 1096 01:23:27,549 --> 01:23:30,844 ♪ Color me your color, darling ♪ 1097 01:23:30,886 --> 01:23:34,181 ♪ I know who you are ♪ 1098 01:23:34,223 --> 01:23:37,643 ♪ Come up off your color chart ♪ 1099 01:23:37,726 --> 01:23:40,479 ♪ I know where you are coming from ♪ 1100 01:23:40,562 --> 01:23:43,357 ♪ Call me for a ride ♪ 1101 01:23:43,440 --> 01:23:47,277 ♪ Call me, call me any, any time ♪ 1102 01:23:47,361 --> 01:23:50,239 ♪ Call me, my love ♪ 1103 01:23:50,322 --> 01:23:54,034 ♪ You can call me any day or night ♪ 1104 01:23:54,117 --> 01:23:56,078 ♪ Call me ♪ 1105 01:24:01,124 --> 01:24:04,419 ♪ Cover me with kisses baby ♪ 1106 01:24:04,503 --> 01:24:07,840 ♪ Cover me with love ♪ 1107 01:24:07,923 --> 01:24:10,717 ♪ Roll me in designer sheets ♪ 1108 01:24:10,759 --> 01:24:14,555 ♪ I will never get enough ♪ 1109 01:24:14,638 --> 01:24:17,975 ♪ Emotions come I don't know why ♪ 1110 01:24:18,058 --> 01:24:22,437 ♪ Cover up love's alibi ♪ 1111 01:24:22,479 --> 01:24:25,566 ♪ Call me for a ride ♪ 1112 01:24:25,649 --> 01:24:29,361 ♪ Call me, call me any, any time ♪ 1113 01:24:29,444 --> 01:24:32,239 ♪ Call me, my love ♪ 1114 01:24:32,281 --> 01:24:36,076 ♪ When you are ready we can share the wine ♪ 1115 01:24:36,118 --> 01:24:38,078 ♪ Call me ♪ 1117 01:24:45,252 --> 01:24:49,923 ♪ He speaks the languages of love ♪ 1122 01:25:02,853 --> 01:25:04,605 ♪ Anytime, anyplace ♪ 1123 01:25:04,646 --> 01:25:08,775 ♪ Anywhere, anyway ♪ 1124 01:25:08,817 --> 01:25:12,112 ♪ Anytime, anyplace Anywhere, anyday ♪ 1125 01:25:12,196 --> 01:25:16,158 ♪ Any way ♪ 1126 01:25:48,273 --> 01:25:51,401 ♪ Call me, my love ♪ 1127 01:25:51,485 --> 01:25:55,239 ♪ Call me, call me any, any time ♪ 1128 01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:58,158 ♪ Call me for a ride ♪ 1129 01:25:58,200 --> 01:26:01,912 ♪ Call me, call me for some overtime ♪ 1130 01:26:01,995 --> 01:26:04,831 ♪ Call me, my love ♪ 1131 01:26:04,915 --> 01:26:08,627 ♪ Call me, call me in a sweet design ♪ 1132 01:26:08,710 --> 01:26:11,630 ♪ Call me, ♪ 1133 01:26:11,713 --> 01:26:15,425 ♪ Call me, call me call me anytime ♪ 1134 01:26:15,509 --> 01:26:18,303 ♪ Call me, call me ♪ 1135 01:26:18,387 --> 01:26:22,140 ♪ For your lover's lover's alibi ♪ 1136 01:26:22,224 --> 01:26:25,018 ♪ Call me on the line ♪ 1137 01:26:25,102 --> 01:26:28,856 ♪ Call me, call me any, any time ♪ 1138 01:26:28,939 --> 01:26:32,192 ♪ Call me, call me ♪ 1139 01:26:32,234 --> 01:26:36,029 ♪ Just call me, call me call me,...♪ 1140 01:26:36,113 --> 01:26:39,366 ♪ Call me, call me call me .... ♪ 1141 01:26:39,408 --> 01:26:42,953 ♪ Call me, call me call me, call me, call me ♪ 83427

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.