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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:04,626 ♪♪ 2 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,009 ♪ Love ♪ 3 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,433 ♪ exciting and new ♪ 4 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,563 ♪ come aboard ♪ 5 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,779 ♪ we're expecting you ♪ 6 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,565 ♪ and love ♪ 7 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ life's sweetest reward ♪ 8 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,826 ♪ let it flow ♪ 9 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,075 ♪ it floats back to you ♪ 10 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,843 ♪ the love boat ♪ 11 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:50,091 ♪ soon will be making another run ♪ 12 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,965 ♪ the love boat ♪ 13 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:59,604 ♪ promises something for everyone ♪ 14 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,984 ♪ set a course for adventure ♪ 15 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:05,271 ♪ your mind on a new romance ♪ 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,741 ♪ and love ♪ 17 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,118 ♪ won't hurt anymore ♪ 18 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,827 ♪ it's an open smile ♪ 19 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,751 ♪ on a friendly shore ♪ 20 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,843 ♪ it's love ♪ 21 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,006 ♪ welcome aboard ♪ 22 00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:34,299 ♪ it's love ♪♪ 23 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,929 ♪♪ 24 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,825 - Hello. - Hello. 25 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,912 - Adieu. 26 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,506 - Here comes a guy I've hated all my life. 27 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,218 - Who is he? - I have no idea, 28 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,338 but he's got those handsome looks 29 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,554 I've hated all my life. 30 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,724 - Excuse me. Howard Samuels, promenade 110. 31 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,224 - Ah, yes, sir. Promenade 110. Up the stairs, to your left. 32 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,596 - Thank you. - Enjoy your cruise, sir. 33 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,441 - Has he boarded yet? 34 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,073 Tall, dark, very broad shouldered. 35 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,400 Very athletic-looking. 36 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,775 Uh, 32 waist, 16 neck, and a 34 sleeve. 37 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,244 Couple of dimples too. 38 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:41,408 Howard Samuels? 39 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,084 - Oh, Howard Samuels. Yeah, he just boarded. 40 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,173 Promenade 110. Up the stairs, to your left. 41 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:50,209 - Good. - Excuse me? 42 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,085 Are you his friend? 43 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:54,341 - Me, no. I've never met the man. 44 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,215 - Well, aunt Chris, now that you've had 45 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,764 a tour of the ship, what do you think? 46 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,217 Pretty neat, huh? I think you're gonna have a good time. 47 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,638 - I suppose so. - Hey, come on, will you stop it? 48 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,897 I'm not gonna let you waste 49 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,768 the rest of your life in mourning. 50 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,815 - I'm not in mourning. 51 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,609 - Okay, well, your attitude is black 52 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,403 even if your dress isn't. 53 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,276 I think since uncle John died, 54 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,833 the last time you had fun was recaulking your bathroom tiles. 55 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,909 - Julie, he was my husband. 56 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:27,615 - I know, but he's gone now and you're still here. 57 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,577 And I think it's time you went out 58 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,667 and started meeting people and doing things. 59 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,633 It's been almost two years. 60 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,093 - Julie, I do not want to meet anyone. 61 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,304 I mean, it could just never be the same, okay? 62 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,804 - Okay. Why don't you just give it a chance 63 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,097 and surprise yourself? 64 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,930 You might have a good time, eh? 65 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,765 You stay here, I'm gonna get your key. 66 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,518 - Oops! - Oh, I'm sorry! 67 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,766 Oh, are you all right? 68 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,607 - I'm fine, it's just... 69 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,781 - Miss? 70 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,873 - I, um... 71 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,332 It's just that... 72 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,331 You look like someone. 73 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,623 - Oh, that's convenient, because I am someone. 74 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,134 Neal rich. 75 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,511 I know I'm clumsy, but I'm not dangerous. 76 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,965 - Uh, Christine frank. 77 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,182 - Very nice to meet you. 78 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,012 Maybe we'll see each other again. 79 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,519 - Well, I think I'm still trying to figure out 80 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,731 what you put in it. (Chuckling) 81 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,731 Excuse me. Aunt Christine, 82 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,403 here's the key to your floating suite. 83 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,652 What's the matter, aunt Chris? 84 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,403 You look like you've just seen a ghost. 85 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,895 - I think I have. 86 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,409 ♪♪ 87 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,383 - Afternoon. - Good afternoon. 88 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,593 - I'm Marshall stubing, your captain's brother. 89 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,724 - Oh, of course! Well, I'm Julie McCoy, 90 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,222 your cruise director. - Yes. 91 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,063 - Oh, this is a great pleasure. 92 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,059 - No, the pleasure is mine, cherie. 93 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,352 - Well, I'm gonna take this hand 94 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,725 and press it in a book. (Both chuckling) 95 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,612 - Captain stubing! Look who's here. 96 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,072 - Marshall? 97 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,402 - Merrill! 98 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,070 Surprised? 99 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,987 - Surprised isn't exactly the word. 100 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,445 What happened, Marshall? 101 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,285 They close the riviera for remodeling? 102 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,120 (Chuckling) 103 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,915 - Let me look at my big brother. 104 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,039 It's been ages. 105 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,746 Merrill, the sea has been good to you. 106 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,256 But you always did look smashing in a uniform. 107 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,258 Even in the boy scouts. 108 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,760 - Excuse us. - Yes, sir. 109 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,770 - Drinks later. 110 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,975 - Marshall, what are you doing on my ship? 111 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,902 - What everybody is doing. 112 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,780 Looking for a little Mexican moonlight and amore. 113 00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,938 - In other words, you're broke 114 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,396 and you're looking to get your hooks into some rich woman. 115 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,277 Marshall, I want you off my ship. 116 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,823 - Merrill, I see you haven't lost 117 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,577 your rye sense of humor. 118 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,408 - Off. Off. 119 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,624 - Sorry, but I have this. 120 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,455 One ticket for a wild and wonderful cruise. 121 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,791 (Woman) - My goodness. 122 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,297 What a real sweet little boat. 123 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,469 I think I might buy me one. 124 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,508 - I think I see my ticket for the rest of my life. 125 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,639 May I take that for you? 126 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,144 - Honey, that's my hand. 127 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,607 - Of course. Who could ever forget a lovely hand like that? 128 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,688 - Have we met before? 129 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,534 - You don't remember, do you? 130 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,610 Was it nice in '74? Monte Carlo in '75? 131 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,156 (Woman) - I don't reckon so. 132 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,490 - Was it Tulsa in '76? 133 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:54,155 - Well, who cares? At least we found each other now. 134 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,997 Is nice anywhere near Oklahoma city? 135 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,627 - Your brother sure works fast. 136 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,631 - Call the guinness book of records. 137 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:06,183 I think he's just broken the four-minute mooch. 138 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,259 (Ship horn blaring) 139 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,055 ♪♪ 140 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,567 (Piano playing) (People chattering) 141 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,334 - Here you go. A pisco punch. 142 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,700 I had to look that one up in the book. 143 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,946 I never made it before. 144 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,367 - Yeah, I know, it's unusual. 145 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:38,205 But it's the only thing I drink during the daytime. 146 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,381 - Ah, well, to each his own. 147 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,039 Yes, ma'am? - Hello. 148 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,378 Pisco punch, please. 149 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,763 - A pisco punch? - Mm-hmm. 150 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,221 Brandy, lemon juice, pineapple. 151 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:52,011 - Please, miss, I'm a professional bartender. 152 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,506 - Okay. 153 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,439 Hi. Do you happen to know "close to you"? 154 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:06,073 (Playing "close to you") That's it. 155 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,362 Thanks a lot, I love it. 156 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,745 - Miss? I hope that you don't think that this is a line, 157 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,960 but you just ordered my favorite drink 158 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,291 and you just asked him to play my favorite song. 159 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,746 - Really, how interesting. 160 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,013 - Green bay packers? 161 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,137 Are you a football fan too? 162 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,602 - Guilty. 163 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,771 - That's incredible. 164 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,389 I don't believe it. 165 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,477 - Next you're gonna be telling me 166 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,611 you like to play chess and go camping 167 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,068 and that you like Mozart, eh? 168 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:49,069 - Yes, I do. This is uncanny. 169 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,113 - Are you serious? 170 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,117 - Miss, we have to talk. 171 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,739 My name is Howard Samuels. 172 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,156 - Holly Christopher. 173 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,285 - Hi, Holly. - Hi. Thank you. 174 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,422 - Holly... 175 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,290 Would you have dinner with me tonight? 176 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,298 Look, I don't want you to think that I'm the kind of guy 177 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,090 who comes onto every pretty girl that he meets. 178 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,133 I'm really not. 179 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,837 I mean, it's true. 180 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,717 - Well... 181 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,684 - You'll see once you get to know me. 182 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,098 - I can hardly wait. 183 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,765 ♪♪ 184 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:34,160 (Mariachi band playing) 185 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,499 - Hello. 186 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,159 - Captain merrill? 187 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:26,377 - Uh, not really. 188 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,249 - Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you look like captain merrill. 189 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,508 Except for you have more... 190 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,893 Oh, I mean, he has more... 191 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,430 Skin. 192 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,913 - Evening, captain! 193 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,118 - Well, brother, I see you've met my daughter, Vicki. 194 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,029 - Well, it's my pleasure. 195 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,577 I didn't know my brother had a little girl. 196 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,200 - Well, now we're even. 197 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,787 I never knew captain merrill had an older brother. 198 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,786 May I have some ice cream? 199 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,956 - Sure, make it a double scoop. 200 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,375 So where's your lady in the white mink coat, 201 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,594 or did she wise up to you already? 202 00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,264 - Oh, she'll be here. I'll introduce you. 203 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,804 Her name is Ruby Gibbons. 204 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:22,257 - No thanks, I want no part of your schemes. 205 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,768 - Who's scheming? - I know how you operate. 206 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,061 First, you tell them you live on the glorious riviera. 207 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,605 - Well, I do, don't I? - But you forget to tell them 208 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:33,109 you live in one room over a Chinese laundry. 209 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,442 - That's because I'm fussy about my shirts. 210 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,948 - And then you drop big names trying to impress them. 211 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,620 - You think I'm a name dropper? 212 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,618 Wait'll you meet Princess grace. 213 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,950 - You're never gonna learn, are you, Marshall? 214 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,366 When're you gonna stop all this... 215 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,125 This deceiving of women? 216 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,418 - When it stops working. 217 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:57,633 Ruby! cherie! 218 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,086 Over here. 219 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,807 - Good evening, Marshall. - Good evening. 220 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,983 - You didn't tell me we were dining with the captain. 221 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,572 - I always go first cabin. 222 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:15,608 In London, I dined with prince Charles. 223 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,703 In Manhattan, I rendezvous with Jackie. 224 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,278 - Oh? - That's the one. 225 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,413 - Oh! 226 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,954 You gentlemen are brothers, aren't you? 227 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:28,785 You know, I thought that you looked a lot alike. 228 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,883 This is an honor. - It's my pleasure. 229 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,128 Oklahoma, right? 230 00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:34,339 - How ever did you know? 231 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,800 - I moonlight reading tea leaves. 232 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,130 (Both chuckling) - He always was the funny one. 233 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,836 - What do you do in Oklahoma, miss Gibbons? 234 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,217 - Well, nothing much. 235 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,974 Not since my husband Horace died, 236 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,345 may he rest in peace. 237 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,892 - I'm so sorry. 238 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,345 - Yes, we buried him in his oil field. 239 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,646 Horace always did like to have 240 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,019 everything put back into the business. 241 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:57,686 - Oil field? - Well, it's just nothing really. 242 00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,316 Three little old oil Wells, per acre. 243 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:05,991 - Well, well, well. This calls for a drink. 244 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,156 - Well, you gentlemen are busy talking. 245 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,655 Shall I get them? Champagne all around? 246 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,998 - None for me, thank you. I'm driving. 247 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,843 (Laughing) 248 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,339 - Oh, he is the funny one. 249 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:28,018 - Merrill, do me a favor. Lend me $50. 250 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,558 I left my wallet in the cabin. It was empty at the time. 251 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,055 Come on, merrill, I'd do it for you. 252 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,744 - Well... wait a minute. 253 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,238 - Come on, merrill, give me the money 254 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,410 and I'll stay out of your hair. 255 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,740 Sorry. 256 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,446 Thanks. 257 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,878 How much do I owe you? 258 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,880 - That'll be $3.75. 259 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,722 - There you go, champ. Keep the change. 260 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,629 - Keep the bottle. 261 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,215 - Aunt Chris, try one of our specialties. 262 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,306 - Okay. - There ya go. 263 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,642 - Julie, it's him. - Who? 264 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,307 - That's the man I met in the lobby. 265 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,823 Oh, hello? 266 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,650 - Oh, we meet again. 267 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,565 I was afraid I'd be too late to see you. 268 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,324 - Oh, Julie, this is Neal rich. 269 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,947 This is my niece, Julie McCoy. 270 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,163 - How do you do? - How do you do? 271 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,453 The only people who love me for being late are my students. 272 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,407 - You're a teacher? 273 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,167 - I beg your pardon, I'm a professor. 274 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,959 - Well, please excuse my faux pas. 275 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:41,803 - I think that's a little like calling a dentist "mister." 276 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,470 - Would you mind if we all sat together? 277 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,589 - Well, I... - I think we'd love to, thank you. 278 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,517 - Thank you. - Oh, uh, waiter? 279 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,730 Could we have a bottle of chateau d'yquem, '64. 280 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,522 - Julie, that was John's favorite wine. 281 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,437 - Ooh, 1964. An excellent year, 282 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,646 unless you happened to vote for goldwater. 283 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,527 - I see we both like lobsters. 284 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,784 How do you feel about dancing? 285 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,326 - Oh, I love it. - Oh, good. 286 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,700 I feel lobster and dancing 287 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,156 are two of the necessities of life. 288 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,246 (Chuckling) 289 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,847 - Oh, hi! Would you care 290 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:32,388 to join me for dinner, miss Christopher? 291 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,143 - Oh! Oh, thank you very much. 292 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,685 But i-i, uh... 293 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,020 - He's not here yet. Will I do? 294 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:44,026 - As a matter of fact, in a way, you will. 295 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,199 Doctor, since you are a doctor, 296 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,868 I have something here I'd like to ask a second opinion about. 297 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,908 - At your service. - This company that I work for 298 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:55,002 has all these computers that house all this information 299 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,579 about millions of men. 300 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,214 Their likes, their dislikes, 301 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:03,711 their IQ, their health, their heritage. 302 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,216 And this figures in separating the... the superior, 303 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:11,389 insurable male versus the inferior, uninsurable one. 304 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:18,194 This one happens to be superior in every category. 305 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,233 - What is his name again? - Howard Samuels. 306 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,435 - Howard Samuels, I hated him on sight 307 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,737 without knowing why, now I know why. 308 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,071 - It's because he's perfect. 309 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,615 Soon to be the perfect father of my child. 310 00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,164 - You mean just because of statistics, 311 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,867 you want to marry him? 312 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,127 - No, no, I did not say anything about marriage. 313 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,964 - Oh, you just wanna... 314 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,426 - You got it. 315 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,718 - Well, what about the good ol' institution of love 316 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,103 and courtship and marriage? 317 00:16:55,180 --> 00:17:00,310 - Well, I... I want a child, I don't want a family. 318 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:04,194 I want to be a mother, and I'm ready to be a mother. 319 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,613 But a wife? No. I'm not ready for that. 320 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,106 - Hi. - Hi! 321 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,947 - Have you seen the buffet? The food looks wonderful. 322 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,793 - Wait'll you see the dessert. 323 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,619 - Yeah! 324 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,586 ♪♪ 325 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,674 (Band playing) (People chattering) 326 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,811 - I can't believe how good you are. 327 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,267 It's like we've been dancing together for years. 328 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,106 - Well, who knows? Maybe we have. 329 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,992 - I mean it. I'm amazed by how well we fit together. 330 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:52,488 - I know what you mean. 331 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,661 - It's unusual for me. I've been a loner all my life. 332 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,541 It's why I never got married. What about you? 333 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,289 - What? - Have you been married? 334 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,660 - Oh, I'm a widow. 335 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,628 - No way you could've stayed single. 336 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,631 - More champagne? - I don't know. 337 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:12,795 I hate the taste of it. 338 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,013 But then again, I love the effect. 339 00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,853 I guess so. - No problem. 340 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,349 I'll get you another one and hold your nose 341 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,640 while you drink it. 342 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,733 Two champagnes please. - Certainly. 343 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,734 - Uh, enjoying the cruise? 344 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,527 - Oh, yeah, I'm having a wonderful time. 345 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,360 And it's mainly because of Holly. 346 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,405 I've never met anybody quite like her. 347 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,829 She is so beautiful, she can have any man she wants. 348 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,869 But instead, she just seems to enjoy being with me 349 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,043 and talking football. 350 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,290 - Well, maybe she just wants a chip off your old block. 351 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:50,052 - Huh? - It's just an old med school expression. 352 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,708 I went to the only medical school 353 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,837 that had a course in carpentry. 354 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,684 - Here you go. - Promenade 110. 355 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,465 Thank you. 356 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,430 - Oh, that poor guy. 357 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,517 - Looks pretty happy to me. 358 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,732 - The least she could do is take him to a movie first. 359 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,782 ♪♪ 360 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,407 - To Christine. - To John. 361 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,581 I mean Neal. Oh, I am so sorry. 362 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,751 It's just that I've met so many new people today. 363 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,830 - It's all right. I understand... Amy. 364 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,916 (Chuckling) 365 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:32,963 It's hard to believe we've only known 366 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,296 each other for a couple of hours. 367 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,761 - Mmm. - Pretty crazy, isn't it? 368 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,432 - Oh, I don't think so. I think it's wonderful. 369 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,599 ♪♪ 370 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,193 - You're right. It is pretty wonderful. 371 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:58,243 - You know what I'd like? - What? 372 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,622 - Hot cocoa. - Hot cocoa? 373 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:05,500 - With marshmallows. I'm sorry, I just think 374 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,709 hot cocoa in the moonlight is very romantic. 375 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,249 - If that's what you want, I'll see if I can round some up. 376 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,094 Don't go away. - I won't. 377 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,839 - Hot cocoa? (Chuckles) 378 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,104 - Uh, excuse me, miss. Have you seen my aunt? 379 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,102 She's easy to recognize, she's the woman who 380 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,984 who under no circumstances thought 381 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,311 she'd have a good time on this cruise. 382 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,475 - Oh, I'm glad I was wrong. - So am I. 383 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,944 Seems like a really terrific guy. 384 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,654 - Oh, he is. Julie, I never thought 385 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,784 I would meet anyone so like John. 386 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:40,241 - But, aunt Chris-- - he looks like John, 387 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,322 he dresses like him, he's even a professor. 388 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,657 Why, it's almost as if John never really died. 389 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,003 - But he's not uncle John. 390 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,039 - Oh, Julie, he's even romantic the way John was. 391 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,923 Oh, it's like a dream come true. 392 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,506 - Windy tonight, huh? 393 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,353 Well, this is me. 394 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,024 Would you like to come in? 395 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,231 - It's kind of late, isn't it? 396 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,851 - Yes, it's very late. But if you insist, 397 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,148 you can come in for a few minutes. 398 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,239 Come on. Come on, sit down. 399 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:25,373 There. 400 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,450 Just, uh, relax. 401 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,865 Take your tie off. Take off anything you like. 402 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,594 Well... 403 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,932 That's better, huh? 404 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,814 (Radio playing) 405 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,818 Howard? 406 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,942 I like you very much. 407 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,032 I think... 408 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,866 You're very nice. 409 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,963 Like that song? - Yeah. 410 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,461 - Me too. 411 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:21,376 Howard, a lot of people don't know this. 412 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:26,635 But sex is very similar to the foxtrot. 413 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:32,393 Watch. One... two... 414 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,766 Like a box. 415 00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:37,612 Three... four... see? 416 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,649 - Mm-hmm. - Try it. 417 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,031 One... 418 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,242 Two... 419 00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,159 Three... 420 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,656 Four... 421 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,132 - What are you doing with my picture? 422 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,255 - Uh... 423 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,722 Oh, Howard, sit down. 424 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,808 I suppose I should've just told you about this right away. 425 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:20,444 - Told me what? - About us. 426 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,574 - What about us? I just met you. 427 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,651 - Yes, I know. But I've spent the last three months 428 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,486 studying everything about you. 429 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,321 Including when you'd be on my vacation. 430 00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,026 - Why? What for? 431 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,287 - Howard... 432 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,963 I would like to have your baby. 433 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,750 - You can't have my baby. 434 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,547 - Why not? - I don't have a baby. 435 00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:51,136 - Howard... 436 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,221 I would like you to give me a baby. 437 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,893 - Give? 438 00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,518 (Laughing) I don't believe this. 439 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,645 - Well, what's the big deal anyway? 440 00:24:02,732 --> 00:24:04,362 You don't even have to spend the night if you don't want to. 441 00:24:04,442 --> 00:24:06,532 Just make love to me and forget about it. 442 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,031 - Forget about it? You know, aside from the fact 443 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,374 that you've been using me, you're forgetting 444 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:12,198 one very important thing. 445 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,374 The minute you become the mother, 446 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:15,161 I become the father. 447 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:16,955 - It doesn't matter. - Well, it does to me. 448 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,253 I'm not just some sex object. 449 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:24,002 (Door slams) 450 00:24:24,087 --> 00:24:26,837 You know, I am very disappointed in you. 451 00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:28,513 All that talk about the green bay packers 452 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:29,932 was just a come on. 453 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,431 - Well, yeah. 454 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,314 ♪♪ 455 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,200 - Good night, captain merrill. 456 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,821 - Oh, good night, Vicki. Sweet dreams. 457 00:24:55,493 --> 00:24:56,793 - Captain merrill? - Mm? 458 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,790 - Don't you like uncle Marshall? 459 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,922 - Why do you ask me that? 460 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,589 I never told you that I don't like my brother. 461 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,458 - Well, you didn't exactly say that 462 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:07,915 but you looked at him, you know, 463 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,586 like you don't approve of him. 464 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:13,434 - Vicki, it's not that I disapprove of my brother. 465 00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:16,431 It's just that, well, he's never worked for a living. 466 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,104 - Oh... oh, I see! 467 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,774 It's not that you don't approve of him, 468 00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:22,152 you're jealous of him. 469 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:23,939 (Marshall) - Hey, everybody, this way! 470 00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:26,572 Last one in buys the drinks! 471 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,570 (People hooting) 472 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:33,623 - Vicki... - I know, "go to bed." Bye. 473 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:40,865 - Oh, I love this ship. They got bars all over. 474 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,419 - What's going on here? (All laughing) 475 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:47,001 - Oh, just go on. Do what you're doing, merrill. 476 00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:50,627 You won't bother us. - Bother you? 477 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,085 Who ordered all this champagne? 478 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:54,085 - Well, you did. 479 00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:58,927 The order was signed "m. Stubing." 480 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:02,055 - Really? Well, I'm afraid you all have to leave. 481 00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:07,188 - Oh, come on now. A toast, to my brother. 482 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,404 The finest captain on this ship. 483 00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:12,114 (Laughing) 484 00:26:12,195 --> 00:26:14,275 - Bottom's up. Oops, maybe I better not 485 00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:17,784 say that while we're still at sea. 486 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:20,287 - Now, I must insist. 487 00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:24,325 - Come on, everybody. We're gonna sing now 488 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,456 just like we practiced. Here you go, Ruby. 489 00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,502 (Ship horn blaring) 490 00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:34,261 (Vocalizing with ship horn) 491 00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,180 Everybody! 492 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,354 (All) - ♪ row, row, row your boat ♪ 493 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,313 ♪ gently down the stream ♪ 494 00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:44,943 - Ah! - ♪ merrily, merrily ♪ 495 00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:46,650 ♪ merrily, merrily, life is but a dream ♪ 496 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,190 - Starboard side only! 497 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,693 (Singing continues) (Chattering) 498 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,607 Ruby, you're the greatest! 499 00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:56,867 ♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪ 500 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:58,868 ♪ gently down the stream ♪ 501 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:00,540 ♪ merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪ 502 00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:01,998 ♪ life is but a dream ♪♪ 503 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:09,876 ♪♪ 504 00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:16,427 - Ah, beautiful morning. 505 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:18,719 - It was a beautiful night. - Yeah. 506 00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:20,563 Well, What'll we do today? 507 00:27:20,638 --> 00:27:21,928 How about some shuffleboard? 508 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:24,175 - Hey, how about a game of gin? 509 00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,387 - Oh, I'm not much at playing cards. 510 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,728 How about some backgammon? 511 00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,772 - Oh, I bet you're a great card player. 512 00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,726 - What makes you think so? 513 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:33,686 - A woman's intuition. 514 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,447 I knew someone a lot like you 515 00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:37,068 who was a tournament champion. 516 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:38,775 We used to play cards for days at a time. 517 00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:40,735 - I hate to disappoint you, but I can barely 518 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,075 tell the difference between a spade and a club. 519 00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:45,751 - Oh, I'll teach you. Give it a try, all right? 520 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,210 - All right. All the money you hustle out of me 521 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,961 is gonna deprive my poor old grandmother 522 00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:51,843 of her gallbladder operation. 523 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,339 - Hi. 524 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,546 - Hi. 525 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,215 - Listen, I'm really sorry for what happened last night. 526 00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:02,604 - Okay. 527 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,100 - I mean, I'm really sorry. 528 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,103 - Okay. I mean, you can't help it 529 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,395 if you're an animal. 530 00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:13,936 - Then you forgive me? 531 00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:16,565 - Yeah, sure. I forgive you. 532 00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,573 - Oh, what a relief. 533 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,945 I am so glad you're not mad at me anymore, 534 00:28:21,032 --> 00:28:23,872 because I really want you to be the father of my baby. 535 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:26,452 - Will you stop that? 536 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:29,118 If you don't stop, I won't talk to you again. 537 00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:30,667 Not even about the green bay packers. 538 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,790 ♪♪ 539 00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:47,925 - Marshall... 540 00:28:48,017 --> 00:28:49,807 I don't think anything could ever be 541 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,484 more beautiful than last night. 542 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,935 - Wait'll tonight. 543 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:05,790 (Clears throat) - Forgive me. 544 00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:08,119 But I thought saw smoke coming from this direction. 545 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:14,418 - Um... my, I have to run. 546 00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:17,712 I have a manicure. I'll see y'all later. 547 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:19,167 - Bye, honey. 548 00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:23,183 - My compliments. 549 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,681 You're working fast, even for you. 550 00:29:24,762 --> 00:29:27,812 - Why? Because I gave her an engagement ring? 551 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,521 - You bought an engagement ring? 552 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,391 - You should know that. I put it on your bill. 553 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,018 - What?! 554 00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:35,734 (Scoffs) - Relax, merrill. 555 00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:40,485 I think maybe I love her. 556 00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:44,030 - Oh, well, this love you feel wouldn't have anything to do 557 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,275 with three little ol' oil Wells, would it? 558 00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:48,867 - Per acre. 559 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,543 No, it's got nothing to do with that. 560 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:55,003 - I can't believe you. What happens when she finds out 561 00:29:55,084 --> 00:29:56,214 you're not what you claim to be? 562 00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:59,264 - Oh, merrill, you've been a worrywart since we were kids. 563 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,932 - I don't suppose you want advice from your older brother. 564 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,723 But you can't build a happy marriage 565 00:30:07,805 --> 00:30:09,095 on a foundation of lies. 566 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,864 - You're absolutely right. - I am? 567 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,769 - Yes. I don't want your advice. 568 00:30:27,116 --> 00:30:30,036 - Oh! Oh, boy! I told you I wasn't very good at cards. 569 00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:33,619 - Well, if you could just try. Come on. 570 00:30:33,706 --> 00:30:35,376 - Why do you make such a big thing of it? 571 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:37,128 Why is it so important that I play cards? 572 00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:40,760 - It's not so important, it's just... 573 00:30:40,838 --> 00:30:43,298 It's just that I thought it might be nice 574 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:45,593 if we could play cards together, that's all. 575 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:47,597 - Well, there are other things we could do together. 576 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,059 Aren't there? 577 00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:51,769 Cards aren't such a big deal, 578 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:53,889 if you'll pardon the expression. 579 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:59,274 - Okay, come on, try again. 580 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,527 ♪♪ 581 00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:10,662 (Knocking on door) 582 00:31:10,743 --> 00:31:12,583 - Come in, it's open. 583 00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:14,122 - I hope I'm not interrupting. 584 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,125 - Oh, no, it's just captain stuff. 585 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,998 Getting our bearings. We're either 586 00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:20,625 off the coast of puerto vallarta 587 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,342 or somewhere near Topeka, Kansas. 588 00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,302 (Laughing) 589 00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,512 - I, uh, want to talk to you about your brother. 590 00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:31,259 He just gave me this ring. 591 00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:37,309 - Yes, he said he was going to do that. 592 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:40,185 - Well, I wanna buy Marshall a little present. 593 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:43,483 Nothing fancy. A gold watch or a car. 594 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:45,818 But I know so little about him, 595 00:31:45,903 --> 00:31:47,323 and I ought to know more about the man 596 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:49,115 I'm gonna spend my life with. 597 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:53,833 - Well, in that case... 598 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:55,291 Maybe you'd better sit down. 599 00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:01,673 Miss Gibbons-- 600 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:06,173 - Ruby. - Ruby... 601 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:09,217 - Look, I still think you should find a guy and fall in love. 602 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,926 Buy a house in the country, buy a station wagon, 603 00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:17,346 and then have his baby. 604 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,685 - You don't seem to understand something, doctor. 605 00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:22,651 I am not against these things, I like this. 606 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,692 But statistics prove, and you know this, 607 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,487 that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. 608 00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:29,861 One out of every two. 609 00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:31,527 - I know all about those statistics. 610 00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:33,326 In the last divorce survey, I was the only one 611 00:32:33,409 --> 00:32:36,199 mentioned by name. (Laughing) 612 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:39,247 But I still think you're making a very serious mistake. 613 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,919 - I think I know what I'm doing, doctor. 614 00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:47,264 But I'll tell you one thing. 615 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:49,300 I sure appreciate your concern. 616 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,226 - May I speak to you? - Me? 617 00:32:57,308 --> 00:33:00,138 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure. 618 00:33:04,982 --> 00:33:06,942 - I have had it. - You have? 619 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:09,196 - And not only that, I have something to say to you. 620 00:33:09,278 --> 00:33:10,358 Something I should've said last night 621 00:33:10,446 --> 00:33:13,116 and you better listen. - What? 622 00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:16,949 - Holly, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. 623 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,746 You're kind and you're beautiful 624 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,420 and you're fun to be with. 625 00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:22,788 And not only that, you're a good person. 626 00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:26,125 - Did a computer somewhere say all that about me? 627 00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:29,762 - But you're also selfish and you're unrealistic. 628 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:31,591 After all the time that you spent choosing me 629 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:32,926 and then finding me, you can just go 630 00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:34,640 choose somebody else? 631 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:38,726 - I mean, I'm sure the doc is a nice guy. 632 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:39,928 But let's face it, you don't know 633 00:33:40,017 --> 00:33:42,097 anything about him. 634 00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,726 So if you're gonna make a mistake, 635 00:33:44,814 --> 00:33:47,234 you might as well make it with me. 636 00:33:47,316 --> 00:33:48,936 At least that way, it'll be easy to rectify 637 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:51,106 because I like you. 638 00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:53,865 - What're you trying to say? 639 00:33:53,948 --> 00:33:55,948 - One, two, three, four. 640 00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,463 - You are kidding. 641 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:03,078 One, two, three, four? 642 00:34:03,166 --> 00:34:05,626 - My cabin. 8:30. 643 00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,130 - Okay, yeah! 644 00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:15,853 - Hey. - Hi. 645 00:34:15,928 --> 00:34:17,098 - Hey, what're you buying in there? 646 00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:18,310 You have everything. 647 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,099 - I didn't buy anything for myself. 648 00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,313 It's a present for you. 649 00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:23,312 - For me? - Mm-hmm. 650 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,484 - Can I open it now or do I have to wait for Christmas? 651 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,152 - No, go ahead, open it. 652 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:30,322 - Oh, that's great. 653 00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:32,321 Almost makes me wish I smoked. 654 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,163 - I know the best pipe tobacco to go in it too. 655 00:34:34,238 --> 00:34:35,988 You're really gonna love it. 656 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,784 - No, you didn't hear me. I don't smoke. 657 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:39,987 - I've been thinking how distinguished you'd look 658 00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:42,617 standing there lecturing in front of your class with a pipe. 659 00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:44,205 - But... - Look, I have to get my hair done. 660 00:34:44,290 --> 00:34:46,500 I'll see you at dinner, okay? 661 00:34:57,136 --> 00:34:59,176 - Oh, a gift from your aunt. 662 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:01,773 - Oh, it's very... Professor-ish. 663 00:35:01,849 --> 00:35:03,889 - Yeah, maybe I can use it for a prop. 664 00:35:03,976 --> 00:35:06,516 - You know, it's just like the one my uncle John smoked. 665 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,774 ♪♪ 666 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,374 ♪♪ 667 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:22,751 (Piano playing) (People chattering) 668 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:38,549 - Ruby, where've you been? - I am sorry. 669 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:48,057 Marshall, I had a long talk with your brother. 670 00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:49,555 - Oh. Great guy, isn't he? 671 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,107 - Mm-hmm. - What'd you talk about? 672 00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:54,571 - You. 673 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,362 - I'll kill him. Don't believe a word he said. 674 00:35:56,445 --> 00:35:58,985 (Ruby chuckling) What'd he say? 675 00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:02,203 - He said that you were a tad irresponsible 676 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:06,785 and you tend to stretch the truth a mite. 677 00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:10,713 - Did he say anything else? - Plenty. 678 00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,253 - I guess he told you that I'm not really 679 00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:13,876 all those things I said I was. 680 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,973 - Well, not exactl-- - and that I don't really own 681 00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,588 a villa in the south of France. 682 00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,215 - No, he didn-- - and then I'm sure he told you 683 00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,852 I'm so broke, I don't know where my next tin 684 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,428 of caviar is coming from. 685 00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:24,853 - No, he didn't say that either. 686 00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:29,604 - What did he say? 687 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:32,937 - He said he really admires you. 688 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,324 - That you are one of the few people in this world 689 00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,781 that knows how to love life. 690 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:41,073 - Merrill said that about me? 691 00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:43,697 - And that you're warm and giving 692 00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:46,454 and that you'll make me a wonderful husband. 693 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:57,547 - I told you not to believe a word he said. 694 00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:04,600 It was nice, Ruby. Really nice. 695 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,810 - Marshall, wait. Why are you leaving? 696 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:12,305 - Because I love you. 697 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,016 You deserve a lot better than me. 698 00:37:14,106 --> 00:37:16,566 ♪♪ 699 00:37:26,535 --> 00:37:27,655 - Aunt Chris, I just don't think 700 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,655 you ought to be taking anything for granted. 701 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,667 - I'm not, but Neal said he had something 702 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:32,879 important to tell me and, well, 703 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:35,959 I don't think it's a secret how we feel about each other. 704 00:37:36,045 --> 00:37:37,795 (Knocking on door) 705 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:38,840 Oh, that must be Neal. Would you mind? 706 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,383 - Sure. 707 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,097 Oh, hi. Come on in. 708 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:48,930 I'll just... See you two later. 709 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,194 - You look lovely. - Thank you. 710 00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:57,862 I, uh, ordered a bottle of our favorite wine. 711 00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:01,362 It should be here soon. Now, um, 712 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:04,565 what is all this you can't tell me at dinner? 713 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:05,867 - Well, for one thing, maybe we shouldn't 714 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:09,500 have dinner together tonight. 715 00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:11,328 Christine, this is very hard to say 716 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,174 but whatever it is that's happened between us 717 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,289 has gone too far, too fast. 718 00:38:16,377 --> 00:38:17,247 I think we have to slow it down. 719 00:38:17,336 --> 00:38:19,376 - Slow it down? 720 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:24,392 I don't know what you mean. 721 00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:26,548 If you've come to say good-bye, why don't you just say it? 722 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,887 - Chris-- - I understand. 723 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,103 The cruise is almost over, and so is the shipboard romance. 724 00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:35,194 You're a real gentleman to let me know. 725 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:36,811 - Christine, what I feel for you, 726 00:38:36,897 --> 00:38:39,897 I never felt about anyone before. 727 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,244 I don't think you're ready for us yet. 728 00:38:41,318 --> 00:38:42,738 - How can you say that? 729 00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,860 You know I love you very much. 730 00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:46,567 I admit that when I came on board, 731 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:48,697 falling in love was the furthest thing from my mind. 732 00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:50,704 But you reminded me so much of my late husband John 733 00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,656 that I fell... 734 00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:58,419 - I thought that's what it was. 735 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,132 I'm not John. Till you accept that, 736 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:04,933 you won't be ready for me or anyone else, for that matter. 737 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:07,599 - Is that it? Have you had your say? 738 00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:11,808 - Yes. Except that I care for you. 739 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:15,311 Very much. I want you to know that. 740 00:39:15,394 --> 00:39:18,114 - I'll try to keep that in mind. 741 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,519 - Christine... 742 00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:21,607 - Would you please go? 743 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:38,627 ♪♪ 744 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:49,390 (Knocking on door) 745 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:53,926 - I've been counting the minut-- 746 00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:56,266 - well, I got here as soon as I could. 747 00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:59,942 - Right here. - All right, certainly. 748 00:40:00,022 --> 00:40:03,152 Now, um, would you like me to open this for you now? 749 00:40:03,234 --> 00:40:05,154 - No, no. - Is this all right? Is this fine? 750 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,026 - Just great, thank you. - Oh, wonderful. 751 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,870 Ah, thank you. 752 00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:24,338 - Oh, you're here. 753 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:28,842 - Yeah, well, I didn't want to be late for our, you know... 754 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:31,886 - Yeah, well, that's fine. I like punctuality. 755 00:40:31,971 --> 00:40:35,891 - Good. Well, like you said, I'm here. 756 00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:38,305 - Yeah, well, shall we-- 757 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,404 - what? Yes? 758 00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:46,532 - Dance? 759 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:47,860 - Sure, why not? 760 00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:49,695 Sure. 761 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:55,037 - I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again. 762 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,369 - But it isn't your fault. 763 00:40:56,453 --> 00:40:58,373 You had to try to get through to her somehow. 764 00:40:58,455 --> 00:40:59,785 - I don't want to lose her in the process. 765 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,674 - I know. - Neal... 766 00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,710 - Oh, excuse me. I'd better leave 767 00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:04,884 before I'm late for whatever it is 768 00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:06,882 I'd be late for if I didn't leave. 769 00:41:06,964 --> 00:41:08,594 Excuse me. Bye, aunt Chris. 770 00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:15,014 - Can I get you folks something to drink? 771 00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,217 - How about some chateau d'yquem? 772 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:19,557 - Well... - Cup of hot chocolate? 773 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:20,903 - If you don't mind, I think we ought 774 00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:22,688 to try something different. 775 00:41:22,771 --> 00:41:24,521 I mean, those others are good, 776 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:27,567 but maybe it's time we found a new favorite. 777 00:41:27,651 --> 00:41:29,281 Our favorite. 778 00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:35,122 (Clears throat) 779 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:39,285 - We'll leave it to you, Isaac. 780 00:41:39,371 --> 00:41:43,541 But remember, you're starting a tradition. 781 00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:46,296 - Mmm, a big responsibility like that may take some time. 782 00:41:46,378 --> 00:41:48,378 So you're gonna have to find a way 783 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:49,844 to keep yourselves occupied. 784 00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:06,315 - No, stop! - Stop? Why? 785 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:11,569 - Because, can't you see? I like you too much. 786 00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,784 - What's wrong with that? 787 00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:16,124 - It ruins everything, that's what. 788 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,450 It's defeating the whole purpose of what I'm trying to do. 789 00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:21,156 I mean, it's just not another situation. 790 00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,785 And you're not a sex object anymore. 791 00:42:24,875 --> 00:42:27,085 - Well, that's not so bad. 792 00:42:27,169 --> 00:42:29,839 - Statistically, it's horrible, Howard. 793 00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:31,302 I mean, there's just no future 794 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,802 in anybody liking anybody anymore 795 00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:36,354 and believe me, I know what I'm talking about, Howard. 796 00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:40,310 I don't know, it just seems like today 797 00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,891 a good divorce is better than a good marriage. 798 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:44,807 It lasts longer. 799 00:42:47,022 --> 00:42:49,942 - Well, you could be right, I don't know. 800 00:42:50,025 --> 00:42:52,145 But what I do know, is that I like you. 801 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,528 A lot. And I kind of have a feeling 802 00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:58,826 that we can change those statistics. 803 00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:02,198 But you're gonna have to give me something 804 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,158 that's very important to you. 805 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,168 - What? 806 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:09,000 - A little time. 807 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:11,626 - How much time? 808 00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:14,634 - Time to play chess, go camping, 809 00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:16,547 maybe see a football game. 810 00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:19,681 What do you say, Holly? 811 00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:21,353 Can we start over again? 812 00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,447 Hi. My name is Howard Samuels. 813 00:43:39,491 --> 00:43:41,701 - Hi. 814 00:43:41,785 --> 00:43:43,535 My name is Holly Christopher. 815 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,499 - Hi, Holly. 816 00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:53,264 Hey, can I walk you home? 817 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,549 - Yes, you handsome devil. 818 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:14,227 - Evening, brother. - Evening, brother. 819 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:18,738 - Where's Ruby? - Before Ruby threw me over, 820 00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:22,202 I thought I'd do her a favor and throw myself over. 821 00:44:22,284 --> 00:44:25,504 Oh, that was very nice, what you told her about me. 822 00:44:25,579 --> 00:44:29,579 That I was warm and giving. - Well, you are. 823 00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:32,456 Unfortunately, what you give is usually mine. 824 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,050 Listen, Marshall, everything I told her was true. 825 00:44:39,134 --> 00:44:42,814 - Well, I just told her some other true things about me. 826 00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:45,098 I guess you're bringing out the boy scout in me, merrill. 827 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:47,482 - I'm glad you decided to come clean. 828 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:51,809 - So am I, even though it does cramp my style. 829 00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:53,357 (Ruby) - Marshall? 830 00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:57,242 There you are. I have been looking 831 00:44:57,319 --> 00:44:59,069 all over this boat for you. 832 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:04,489 Evening, captain. - Ruby. 833 00:45:04,576 --> 00:45:07,576 Well, if you need anyone to talk to, 834 00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:10,833 I'll be in my cabin polishing my merit badges. 835 00:45:16,046 --> 00:45:18,796 - Marshall, I was worried about you. 836 00:45:18,882 --> 00:45:21,262 - About me? 837 00:45:21,343 --> 00:45:24,143 Hey, I'm the guy who really loves life. 838 00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:26,141 Remember? 839 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:27,983 - Marshall? 840 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:37,151 I love you. 841 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,954 - You mean after the way I lead you on, 842 00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:42,658 you still want me? 843 00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:45,869 - You don't have to say all that stuff to impress me. 844 00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:48,541 I don't care about what you don't have. 845 00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:51,330 It's what you got that matters. 846 00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:54,205 And you got something I really need. 847 00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,673 - I do? 848 00:45:56,753 --> 00:45:59,923 - Yep. You love me. 849 00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:03,471 - I really do. 850 00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,352 - Honey, I may not know much about you 851 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:10,311 but I know what I like. 852 00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:12,352 - Oh, Ruby. 853 00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:18,824 - And I especially like that. 854 00:46:27,284 --> 00:46:29,504 ♪♪ 855 00:46:37,294 --> 00:46:39,214 - Doc! (Squeals) 856 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:41,666 - Wh-what was that for? - For your opinion. 857 00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:45,886 - What was that for? - Well, Holly told me 858 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,049 some of the things that you said 859 00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:48,387 and I just wanted to thank you. 860 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,932 - Yeah, thanks again. - Hey, wait a minute. 861 00:46:51,016 --> 00:46:52,346 Doesn't anybody want to thank me? 862 00:46:52,434 --> 00:46:53,564 - Sure, gopher, I'll thank you. 863 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:55,194 - Sure, anytime. 864 00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,113 (Julie) - Bye-bye. 865 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,110 Aunt Chris, is that you? 866 00:47:05,197 --> 00:47:06,867 - Yep, I thought I would try 867 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:08,079 something different for a change. 868 00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:09,538 - I love the hat. 869 00:47:11,411 --> 00:47:12,871 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. 870 00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:14,245 Except for those glasses and that hat, 871 00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:15,081 you're the spitting image of a girl 872 00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:16,625 I went steady with in high school. 873 00:47:16,708 --> 00:47:18,748 - Really? 874 00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:23,088 - Why are you doing that? - From now on, 875 00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:24,933 when we look at each other, 876 00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:27,588 we won't be seeing anyone who isn't there, okay? 877 00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,298 - Deal. 878 00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:30,468 - Bye-bye. - Good-bye, sweetheart. 879 00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,890 - That'll be fine, Jacqueline. 880 00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:36,936 - Merrill! 881 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,650 It's been great seeing you again, 882 00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,730 and meeting your lovely daughter. 883 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,106 - Well, Marshall, this time I can honestly say 884 00:47:44,194 --> 00:47:46,414 it was great seeing you. 885 00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:48,028 And your lovely Ruby. 886 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,485 - Thank you, captain. 887 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:52,867 - You're so pretty. 888 00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:54,293 I hope I look like you when I grow up. 889 00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:57,419 - You could do worse, Vicki. 890 00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:01,665 And when I grow up, I hope I'm more like your father. 891 00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:10,845 ♪♪ 892 00:48:14,850 --> 00:48:17,270 ♪♪ 893 00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,870 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 64247

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