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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,964 [Theme music - "love boat"] 2 00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,349 Theme song: Love, exciting and new. 3 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:26,225 Come aboard, we're expecting you. 4 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:37,577 And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow, 5 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:42,002 it floats back to you. 6 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:49,973 The love boat, soon we'll be making another run. 7 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:58,849 The love boat promises something for everyone. 8 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,193 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. 9 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:14,818 And love won't hurt anymore. 10 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:23,248 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 11 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:23,373 It's love! 12 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:30,626 Welcome aboard, it's love! 13 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,557 [Music playing] 14 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,294 Ooh! Fan mail. 15 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,411 Where's my stack? 16 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,417 A bill, a bill, a bill, and a letter from Vicki. 17 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,540 Ah. 18 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,876 Take a look at the picture she sent. 19 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,092 Oh, gee, she's grown! 20 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,093 Children have a tendency to do that. 21 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,546 She's almost 12. 22 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,966 And turning into a lovely young lady, I must say. 23 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,266 What do you expect? 24 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,179 She takes after her-- 25 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,188 I mean, her mother was very beautiful. 26 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,861 And the fact that you and Vicki have the same eyes 27 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,980 is just a coincidence. 28 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:44,044 So how does she like living in Mexico? 29 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:48,422 Ah, she's adjusting pretty well, all things considered. 30 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,801 She still feels the loss of her mother very deeply. 31 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,432 I just thank heavens that Vicki has her aunt 32 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,220 and uncle to take care of her. 33 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,514 She also has you. 34 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,427 [Laughs] No. 35 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,885 To her, I'm just captain merrill, 36 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,265 the funny man she met once. 37 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,942 She'll never know anything else. 38 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,815 You don't plan on ever seeing her again? 39 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,744 I'm afraid to. 40 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:23,203 The hardest thing I've ever done was say goodbye to Vicki. 41 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,286 I know if I saw her again, I'd have to say it again. 42 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,373 I don't know if I could do that. 43 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,298 Well, enjoy your cruise. 44 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,812 Can I help? 45 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,725 I'm Rose kennycott, and I have a feeling 46 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:51,983 I've made a terrible mistake. 47 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,475 Well, it can't be too serious. 48 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,237 You are on the right ship. 49 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,949 Yes, but everything else is wrong. 50 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,780 Look at those people kissing. 51 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,276 They aren't doing it right? 52 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,368 They're doing it in public. 53 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,412 Oh, well, that's what we call indoor games. 54 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,248 Oh, this younger generation. 55 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,593 Well, we also have plenty of outdoor games-- shuffleboard, 56 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,089 deck tennis, ping-pong-- you're going 57 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,510 to have a wonderful cruise! 58 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,009 Well-- 59 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,011 oh, maybe we'll even find you a partner for the indoor games. 60 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,188 Oh, sir. 61 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:29,889 Excuse me. 62 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,688 My name is Barney briscoe. 63 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,271 And I wonder if you can help me. 64 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,186 Yes, Mr. Briscoe. 65 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,034 Let's see, you're in cabin-- 66 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,649 fiesta 131. 67 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,816 Yes, that's right. 68 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,065 I-- I was wondering. 69 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,527 Oh, about your dining assignment. 70 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,867 Yes, sir. Let's see, you're at table-- 71 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,872 table 32. 72 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,084 Right. 73 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:49,913 How does one-- 74 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,368 go about playing jackpot bingo. 75 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:51,867 Well, you just show up at the-- 76 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,498 acapulco lounge. 77 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,424 Right. 78 00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:59,053 You certainly seem to have all the right answers. 79 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,342 Except one. 80 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,675 Oh? 81 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:02,719 How do you meet a lady? 82 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,385 Well Mr. Briscoe, you've certainly 83 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,893 come to the right place. 84 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,385 We don't call this the love boat because we're 85 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:10,516 crazy about tennis. 86 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,649 This younger generation. 87 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,443 Ooh. 88 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,242 My lord. 89 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,541 Uh, excuse me, I'm Harry Stewart. 90 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,250 Aha. 91 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,080 I think I'm on the lower deck. 92 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:33,826 Correct. 93 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,036 Cabin 359. 94 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,046 And a nice cabin it is, too, sir. 95 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,298 Oh, well, you won't find me in it 96 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:42,759 very often, because I just spent nine weeks in a locked room. 97 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,762 Boy, my mom just used to make me stand in a corner. 98 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,925 No, no, no. 99 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,684 This was a jury room. 100 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,096 I was on the Hamilton case. 101 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:51,934 Oh! 102 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,348 Wow. 103 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,266 Where the wife tried to kill him three different times! 104 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,234 That's the one. 105 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,444 Boy, she sure seemed guilty to me, man. 106 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,114 Well, of course she was guilty. 107 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,283 11 men good and true knew she was guilty. 108 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,612 Well then, how come the jury was deadlocked? 109 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:10,787 Because of this stupid, dumb woman, a woman by the name 110 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,080 of noyce. 111 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:12,713 She kept saying, she's innocent! 112 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,749 She's innocent! 113 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,922 She was innocent. 114 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,091 Noyce, Ann noyce. 115 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:18,839 Yes, ma'am. 116 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,960 You! 117 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:21,957 Get off my ship. 118 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,468 Go! Go home! 119 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,719 I should leave? 120 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,351 Otherwise there's going to be another attempted murder! 121 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,968 Well, you have the perfect weapon-- 122 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,515 your head. 123 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,808 Ladies and gentlemen, please. 124 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:32,481 Hey, the trial is over. 125 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,138 Can't we just call a truce? 126 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:34,977 Come on now. 127 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:35,691 No! 128 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,020 Never. 129 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,475 Well, enjoy your cruise. 130 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:38,984 I intend to. 131 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,985 And so do I. 132 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,240 It's guilty! 133 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:50,332 She was guilty, guilty as hell! 134 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,449 That was the lower deck, wasn't it? 135 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,247 Yes. 136 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,543 [Ship horn blasting] 137 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,505 [Music playing] 138 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,698 Vicki (voiceover): Dear captain merrill, 139 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,577 thank you, thank you, thank you for my birthday present, 140 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,826 a cruise director's uniform! 141 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:45,457 It's only the neatest thing I ever got in my whole life! 142 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:50,048 Maybe someday I can be a real cruise director on your ship. 143 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,426 Only I hope I don't have to wait that long see you. 144 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,845 I just made myself sad. 145 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,185 I miss you a real, real lot. 146 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:04,441 And I'm always thinking about the time I came on the ship, 147 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,185 because it was the best time I ever had. 148 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:11,277 And I wish-- oh well. 149 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:11,695 You know what I wish. 150 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,044 I don't want to go. 151 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,335 Why can't I stay here with you? 152 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,089 Vicki. 153 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,590 Why couldn't I? 154 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:29,761 Now look, you have an aunt and uncle who love you very much. 155 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,182 You'll be much happier living with them 156 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:35,010 than with a grouchy old seaman. 157 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,767 You aren't grouchy. 158 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,850 You're the best. 159 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,017 I love you, captain merrill. 160 00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:43,685 I love you, Vicki. 161 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,458 Jenkins, this is captain stubing. 162 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:05,000 I'd like to place a call to acapulco, please. 163 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,376 An hour? 164 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,173 All right. 165 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,232 Good evening, Mr. Briscoe. 166 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,151 Good evening. 167 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,559 Well, tonight is English pub night. 168 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,227 Are you coming to dinner? 169 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,735 Now look, when I said that I wanted to meet a lady, 170 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,569 you know, I meant someone my age. 171 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,275 Mm-hm. 172 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:36,584 Now, I'm going to be blunt. 173 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,249 You're not my type. 174 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,288 Oh well, you can't blame a girl for trying. 175 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,213 Oh, good evening, Ms. Kennycott. 176 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,541 Don't you look lovely? 177 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:46,626 Why, thank you. 178 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,211 Ah, Ms. Kennycott, have you met Mr. Briscoe? 179 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,667 Mr. Briscoe, Ms. Kennycott. 180 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,376 How do you do? 181 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,295 How do you do? 182 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,843 Is anyone joining you for dinner? 183 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,677 No. 184 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,352 Well, we like our passengers to have company, 185 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,891 and I won't take no for an answer. 186 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,636 Well, in that case, i'd love to have dinner with you. 187 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:14,529 Young blonde whippersnapper! 188 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:16,373 Ah, here we go. 189 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,029 Thank you. 190 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,696 Thank you, Isaac. 191 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,744 Not going to dinner? 192 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:20,447 No, no. 193 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,076 I can't face it. 194 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:25,423 The fates have dealt me a dastardly blow, Isaac. 195 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,879 I am sitting at the same table with that woman. 196 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,881 I'm just hoping that I can stall long enough whereas she'll 197 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,384 just eat and be gone. 198 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,176 Ah, come on. 199 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,428 She can't be that bad. 200 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,510 She let a murderer go free! 201 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,556 Now, she didn't go free. 202 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,679 I mean, she's going to be retried. 203 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:43,597 And the husband didn't die. 204 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,654 Whether the husband was killed or not, 205 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,569 the wife attempted to murder him at least three times; 206 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,739 first, by putting poison in his meatloaf; 207 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,238 second, by hitting him with a heavy candlestick; 208 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,912 and third, by trying to strangle him! 209 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,160 Now, what do you call that? 210 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:07,461 Bad b 211 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,461 oh good evening, Sidney. 212 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:10,593 Are you in town? 213 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,259 Aw! 214 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,589 It's better out here. 215 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,933 Isn't it, though? 216 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,258 [Laughs] 217 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,973 Wouldn't it be more fun if you were dining 218 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:19,973 with a handsome stranger? 219 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:24,929 Well, wouldn't it? 220 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,267 Julie, I have been waiting for the handsome stranger 221 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,484 for 30 years. 222 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,273 It's a good thing I didn't hold my breath. 223 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,278 Nobody ever notices me. 224 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,612 I noticed you from the first moment I saw you. 225 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:42,947 Doc, we're having kind of a girl chat here. 226 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,115 I wonder if you couldn't charm us out of our socks 227 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,123 another time. 228 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,575 Of course! 229 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,785 Later, cute thing. 230 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,955 Oh, thank you. 231 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:52,424 So anyway. 232 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,343 Who's that? 233 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,092 Our ship's doctor, Adam bricker. 234 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,635 Oh what's the use. 235 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,721 I never know what to say to men. 236 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,555 When the sexual revolution took place, 237 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,440 I must have been behind enemy lines. 238 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,478 Then Rose, isn't it time you came out fighting? 239 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,523 Today's woman doesn't wait for the phone to ring, 240 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,186 she places the call herself. 241 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,566 Really? 242 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,572 Yes. 243 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,703 She refuses to float down the stream of life. 244 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,660 She paddles her own canoe, and you can, too. 245 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,952 I can? 246 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,325 Of course you can. 247 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,502 Would you excuse me just one moment? 248 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,003 Ah, Mr. Briscoe, it's now or never. 249 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,415 You know what I mean? 250 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,927 Young vamp. 251 00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:58,531 Excuse me. 252 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,991 Would you mind if I sat here? 253 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,200 Not at all. 254 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,200 I was just leaving. 255 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,155 You've been very good so far. 256 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,747 You haven't mentioned a word about you-know-what. 257 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,833 I won't if you won't. 258 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,508 Far be it from me to be responsible for your 259 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,048 bursting a blood vessel. 260 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,431 Far be it from me to cause your hair to get any grayer. 261 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,639 What do you mean? 262 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,679 Evening, folks. 263 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:25,892 Oh, good evening. 264 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,521 Do you like eating, or are you here for the atmosphere? 265 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,229 I think I will have the-- 266 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,349 roast beef. 267 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,515 Mr. Stewart and I served on the same jury recently, 268 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,904 and that's all he ever ordered-- 269 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,321 roast beef. 270 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,949 I'll have the roast-- 271 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:41,948 duck. 272 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,409 Don't be silly, Harry. 273 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,659 You don't like duck. 274 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,741 Why would anybody want to eat duck? 275 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:52,957 With their little yellow bill, and their little webbed feet. 276 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Yes, they look so innocent. 277 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,795 Ducks are guilty! 278 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,879 You're starting it again. 279 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,295 I didn't say anything about the murder trial. 280 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,974 I was talking about little ducks! 281 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:09,062 Little ducks who ought to get a life sentence! 282 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:12,429 Would madam like a little innocent ducky, too? 283 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,438 No, thank you. 284 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:17,689 I think I'll have, uh, meatloaf. 285 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:18,823 Meatloaf. 286 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,779 Well, would you like to have something along with it? 287 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:28,950 Peas, carrots mashed potatoes, with absolutely not a trace 288 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:29,624 of strychnine. 289 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,832 Meatloaf, no strychnine. 290 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,793 There was strychnine in that meatloaf. 291 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,294 That was definitely established the third day of the trial. 292 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,797 There was evidence that there was some strychnine, 293 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,879 but absolutely no evidence the wife 294 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,585 was the one who put the strychnine into the meatloaf! 295 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,465 Well, if the wife didn't put the strychnine 296 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,552 into the meatloaf, how'd it get there? 297 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,967 Maybe she had a butcher with a sense of humor! 298 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,846 If there was a law against stupidity, 299 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:53,023 you would get the chair! 300 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:03,528 I'd like to speak with senora strickland, por favor. 301 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,991 Well look, wait a minute. 302 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:06,991 Will you just slow down? 303 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,702 Every night, I say her prayers with her. 304 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,834 This morning, is not Vicki in bed. 305 00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:14,462 Is only note. 306 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,628 Note says, goodbye. 307 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,168 She takes clothes, dinero, and no come back! 308 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:25,723 Oh, my vickisita has run away! 309 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,129 Oh my god. 310 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,191 Julie (on P.A.): Launches will be leaving 311 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,519 for acapulco from the gangway on the port side 312 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,935 of the aloha deck level. 313 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,824 Those passengers who signed up for bus tours of the city 314 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,112 should gather on the dock when they reach shore. 315 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,026 The ship will be sailing in ten hours. 316 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,874 That's precisely at midnight. 317 00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,699 All passengers should be back on board by 11:30. 318 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,786 Welcome to acapulco. 319 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,791 Thank you. 320 00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:00,998 Did you call the chief of police 321 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,535 and tell him to expect us? - Yes, sir. 322 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,128 I'm coming, too. 323 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,545 I want you all to know how much this-- 324 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,974 sir, it's nothing. 325 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,595 It is to me. 326 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,852 Captain, I think there's a passenger 327 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,644 who needs your assistance. 328 00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,097 Gopher, could you take care of this? 329 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,240 Vicki. 330 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,662 Vicki. 331 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,667 Hi. 332 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:45,919 Young lady, do you have any idea of how much trouble 333 00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,424 you've caused? 334 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,007 We, we have been worried sick about you. 335 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,934 A girl your age should have-- 336 00:16:56,014 --> 00:17:01,484 some sense of responsibility. 337 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:04,364 I'm sorry. 338 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,295 Julie! 339 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,632 Well, hi! 340 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:32,547 I have to talk to you. 341 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,554 It's about a man. 342 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,085 Oh, ok. 343 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,308 Let's go sit down. 344 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,138 Yes? 345 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,983 Now, it wouldn't happen to be about that handsome stranger I 346 00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,018 was talking to you about, would it? 347 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:45,312 I had a feeling you two were going to click. 348 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,187 We haven't clicked. 349 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,613 We clunked. 350 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,981 Huh? 351 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,197 I don't know how to make the first move. 352 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,909 You just pick up the phone and ask him for a date. 353 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,201 You mean, talk to him on the phone? 354 00:17:59,286 --> 00:17:59,946 Yeah. 355 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,497 Maybe I'll write him a note. 356 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,540 Equally good. 357 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,045 Turn him on in 25 words or less. 358 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:08,798 Julie-- 359 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,049 yeah. 360 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,510 Should I let him kiss me on the first date? 361 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,052 No, you kiss him. 362 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,643 Pucker up, Dr. Bricker. 363 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,885 I've got you in my sites. 364 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,612 Watch out, Mr. Briscoe, this could be your lucky day. 365 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:35,985 You see, Isaac, why I don't go for today's women? 366 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,783 They're brazen, totally brazen. 367 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,803 Hey, hey, come on, gopher, knock it off the potato chips. 368 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,300 What? 369 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,552 Don't give me that innocent act. 370 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,723 Now, I had that basket full of potato chips, 371 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,761 now it's half empty. 372 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,845 And you're accusing me of eating them, eh? 373 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:00,560 Mr. Stewart? 374 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:01,389 Excuse me? 375 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,643 Hm? 376 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,104 Did you see me eat any of these potato chips? 377 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:05,805 No. 378 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,654 No, I didn't. 379 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:07,598 Well how could he? 380 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,978 His back was turned to you. 381 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,146 I didn't see you eat the potato chips, 382 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:17,355 but there is salt around your mouth. 383 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,907 Circumstantial evidence. 384 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,081 That could have come from the sea spray. 385 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:26,159 That is exactly the addlepated logic you used at the trial. 386 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,418 There is an ocean around us. 387 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,420 And you do know what's in the ocean? 388 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,421 Salt. 389 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,343 And the salt air just wafted across the deck 390 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:39,973 and landed in a perfect pattern around his mouth. 391 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,103 Maybe he had a Margarita. 392 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:44,099 I knew better than to discuss this with you. 393 00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,772 Of course, because, as usual, I'm right. 394 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,733 Well, come on, folks. 395 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,944 It's just potato chips. 396 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:52,944 It's not important. 397 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,355 No, no, no, no. 398 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,903 This is very important. 399 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,106 Did you eat those potato chips? 400 00:19:59,197 --> 00:19:59,947 Go ahead. 401 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,782 Tell them, gopher. 402 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,577 I'm not saying a word until my lawyer brings the onion dip. 403 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:09,961 He's innocent. 404 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,422 He is guilty, guilty as hell. 405 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:15,962 No, no. 406 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,468 She's fine, carlotta, not a scratch. 407 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,140 Now look, senor and senora strickland are 408 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,219 flying in tonight, aren't they? 409 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,385 And what time do you expect them at home? 410 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:32,475 Well, I'll plan on bringing Vicki out there around then. 411 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,614 Yes, gracias, carlotta. 412 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:39,783 I don't wanna go back. 413 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:43,243 Vicki, it was wrong of you to run away like this. 414 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:47,325 Your aunt and uncle love you very much. 415 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:51,672 If you have a problem, you should talk to them. 416 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:55,340 But you love me, too, don't you? 417 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,210 Of course I do. 418 00:20:56,296 --> 00:21:00,006 More than aunt Dolores and uncle Harry? 419 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,012 This isn't a contest, Vicki. 420 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,473 We all love you very much. 421 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,982 Now, this doesn't have something to do with why you ran away, 422 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,729 does it? 423 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,482 Do you really want to know? 424 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:14,614 I really want to know. 425 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,843 I found it in a box of old stuff. 426 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,221 It's mom's diary. 427 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:52,063 "I told merrill tonight that I'm marrying Tom. 428 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,404 It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 429 00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:00,741 Merrill doesn't know i'm going to have his child. 430 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,699 If he ever does sense the truth, I 431 00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,070 hope he can understand that I'm doing what's best for 432 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,538 both of us and for our baby." 433 00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:18,707 Mommy didn't marry you, but you're my real father, 434 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:19,755 aren't you? 435 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:25,425 Aren't you? 436 00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,354 Yes. 437 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,693 Please, let's stay together always. 438 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,948 We won't ever say goodbye. 439 00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:55,416 [Music playing] 440 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,185 Mr. Briscoe, you're all alone! 441 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:16,899 Please, don't worry about me. 442 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:17,808 I'm all right. 443 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,016 I'm fine. 444 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,437 Didn't you get the note? 445 00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:23,146 What note? 446 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,895 It was sort of a love note. 447 00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,356 At least, I think it was a love note. 448 00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:30,656 If I did get it, I would have ripped it apart. 449 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,492 Mr. Briscoe, I think the time has come for you 450 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,577 to take the bull by the horns. 451 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,123 Bull and horns-- 452 00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,326 all I wanted to do is meet a nice lady. 453 00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:41,416 Now vamoose! 454 00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:42,303 Ah! 455 00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:42,839 Are you all right? 456 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,801 Oh, I'm fine. 457 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,011 I don't think you understand, Mr. Briscoe. 458 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,011 I don't-- - please! 459 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,472 Please! - Let me explain. 460 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,766 Isaac? 461 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:57,892 Mr. Stewart. 462 00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,018 Yeah, Isaac, I want to apologize 463 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,194 for my earlier behavior. 464 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,523 Oh, that's ok. 465 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,857 But it's that woman. 466 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:07,362 She could drive St. Francis of assisi to valium. 467 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,065 And I can't help but argue with her. 468 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,196 She's so dumb. 469 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,782 Well didn't miss noyce believe any of the evidence? 470 00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,038 No! 471 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,870 The husband said that his wife had five martinis to bolster 472 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,037 her courage, and then that she tried to brain 473 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,626 him with a candlestick. 474 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,842 Well, what did the wife say? 475 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,511 Well, she said yes, she had five martinis. 476 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,551 But she said she was cold sober, and 477 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,184 the dumbbell agrees with her. 478 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:34,262 I still do. 479 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:39,017 Ah, if it isn't miss 11-1. 480 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:40,772 Isaac, will you please explain to her 481 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,654 that there is no way that you can have five martinis 482 00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,032 in one hour and not get drunk? 483 00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:47,238 The man's right. 484 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,029 Oh, really? 485 00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:51,242 Five martinis please. 486 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,123 Five martinis? 487 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,080 I'm going to prove a little point. 488 00:24:56,161 --> 00:25:01,121 [Laughs] Isaac, let me have five martinis, too, 489 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,418 because I don't have the heart, sober, to watch 490 00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,751 what's going to happen to her. 491 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:09,973 Why didn't you write the note? 492 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:10,630 I did. 493 00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:12,427 He said he didn't get it. 494 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,300 That's because I ripped it up. 495 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:15,807 This cruise is almost over. 496 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,429 You've got to stop wasting time and just go get him. 497 00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,265 I guarantee the man is interested. 498 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,652 Are you sure? 499 00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,768 Believe me, you're just what the doctor ordered. 500 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,186 Hm. 501 00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:27,904 That's all I want to hear. 502 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,856 Host (on P.A.): Good evening. 503 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,278 This ship will remain in acapulco until 12:00 midnight. 504 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:37,117 For all those not dining ashore, there 505 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:41,832 will be a main seating dinner in the coral dining room. 506 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,115 Oh! 507 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,747 Oh! 508 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,173 Well, I guess you and I are the only two people who didn't 509 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,013 go into acapulco tonight. 510 00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,839 Did you want to see me? 511 00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,594 Yes. 512 00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,256 Well, come in, please. 513 00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:08,649 Is there a problem? 514 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:12,153 Well, I've been having these strange feelings-- 515 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,987 here. 516 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,993 Well, you've come to the right place. 517 00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,246 How long have you had this feeling? 518 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:21,368 Not long. 519 00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:23,544 But everybody tells me nowadays you shouldn't wait. 520 00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:25,003 You should do something about it. 521 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,293 Good thinking. 522 00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:33,717 Why don't you step inside and, here, take your clothes off. 523 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,600 You mean right-- right now, just like that? 524 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,179 No time like the present. 525 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,104 Just call me when you're ready. 526 00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:42,141 We can get started. 527 00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,975 Would, wouldn't you like to talk a little? 528 00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,980 Well, in a situation like this, 529 00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:48,232 it's always a good idea to take care of the body. 530 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,975 It's all happening so fast. 531 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,686 Just relax. 532 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:54,856 Maybe you'll be more comfortable here on the couch. 533 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,486 And I could lock the door to make sure no one disturbs us. 534 00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:01,454 Oh, doc, you devil! 535 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,826 But! 536 00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:04,873 What are you doing? 537 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,626 I'm kissing you, but you're not helping much. 538 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,839 Rose, please, I'm a doctor! 539 00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,048 I know! 540 00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,759 Rose, excuse-- Rose, Rose! 541 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:14,720 I must insist. 542 00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:15,469 Oh! 543 00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,220 Excuse me. 544 00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:17,341 I must insist-- I must insist! 545 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:22,217 Rose, I thought you came here for medical treatment. 546 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,347 Oh my god! 547 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,853 Oh, I'm so embarrassed! 548 00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,595 Julie said-- 549 00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:27,556 Julie! 550 00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:28,645 She said you were-- 551 00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:33,440 oh, I wish I could die right on the spot! 552 00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:34,896 I'm sorry. 553 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,146 What was I doing? 554 00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:39,907 A silly old woman trying to join a revolution that's already 555 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,411 passed her by. 556 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:45,043 How could I ever have dreamed that in one ocean cruise 557 00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,711 I could find a man who changed my whole life? 558 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,970 Rose, we all change the course of our lives sometimes. 559 00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,762 But it's better to take that first step, and maybe stumble, 560 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,387 than never to take a step at all. 561 00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:06,345 You're very kind. 562 00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:10,114 No, I'm not just being kind, believe me. 563 00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:12,358 Rose, someone is going to respond to all 564 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,440 those feelings you have inside. 565 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:19,447 And whoever he is, wherever he is, 566 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,121 he's going to be a very lucky man. 567 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:22,489 Thank you. 568 00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:25,445 You made me see the light tonight. 569 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:26,537 Who knows? 570 00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:30,711 Maybe some night soon, you may even see the stars. 571 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,295 And I thought you were something special. 572 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,592 I beg your pardon? 573 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,585 But you're like all the rest-- 574 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,967 just another floozy. 575 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:46,267 Agh! 576 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:58,566 Where are your five martinis? 577 00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:01,493 My, slow service. 578 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,163 What are you talking about? 579 00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,451 I've already drunk them. 580 00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:10,325 My, what fast service! 581 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,285 All of them? 582 00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,214 Count them. 583 00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:19,883 I'll take your word for it. 584 00:29:19,966 --> 00:29:21,886 Can I ask you a question? 585 00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:24,008 What are we doing here? 586 00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,845 I'm going to prove to you that Hamilton's wife was 587 00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:30,691 sober enough after five martinis to know 588 00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:32,978 whether she tried to clobber him with a candlestick. 589 00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,732 Ah. 590 00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,862 I drank five martinis, and I'm sober as the judge. 591 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:46,195 Well, I want to ask you a few questions, your honor. 592 00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:53,544 First of all, that's a ridiculous looking robe 593 00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:54,325 you're wearing. 594 00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:00,918 I think that proves my point, that the husband, 595 00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:04,387 on the night in question, got bombed out of his mind, just 596 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:05,179 like you. 597 00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,561 Objection! 598 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:12,519 Then he passed out, hitting his head, raising a bump. 599 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:16,022 I want that stricken from the record! 600 00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:18,015 I want the jury to disregard-- 601 00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:20,437 [thump] 602 00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,826 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case. 603 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,092 Can I steer the ship when we leave tonight? 604 00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:43,974 I promise I won't hit anything. 605 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:47,140 You're hardly big enough to see out. 606 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,390 I'd be willing to grow. 607 00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:10,370 Vicki, we have to talk. 608 00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:11,581 Are you going to tell me about sex? 609 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,125 Well, no. 610 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,288 Oh. 611 00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,416 Didn't your aunt delores tell you about-- 612 00:31:21,504 --> 00:31:23,264 all that stuff? 613 00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:25,259 Yeah. 614 00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:26,631 But she made it sounds so dull, I figured she 615 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:29,888 must have left something out. 616 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:36,311 Vicki, did you understand everything 617 00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,524 you read in your mommy's diary? 618 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,226 Not everything. 619 00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:43,106 But I get the part where you're my real father, 620 00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:46,322 and mommy marrying someone else. 621 00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:47,324 Why do you think she did that? 622 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,582 Well, I guess she thought you wouldn't be happy unless you 623 00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,462 could be on your ship anymore. 624 00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:01,001 That was part of it. 625 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,795 The other part is that she wanted 626 00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:07,469 you to have a normal family life, 627 00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:13,180 with two parents, other kids, and dogs, and cats-- 628 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,684 and a housekeeper named carlotta? 629 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:24,187 Your mother wanted the best for you. 630 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,695 A so do I. 631 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,949 You're going to send me back, aren't you? 632 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,703 You don't want me. 633 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:40,788 I want you more than anything. 634 00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:43,165 I don't have the right to keep you. 635 00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:44,802 I thought you loved me. 636 00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,987 [Music playing] 637 00:33:16,285 --> 00:33:16,325 Wake up! 638 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,495 Wake up! 639 00:33:21,582 --> 00:33:22,252 Ugh. 640 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,253 Aha! 641 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:23,964 Aha yourself. 642 00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,253 What are you doing in my room? 643 00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:29,377 Waiting for an apology. 644 00:33:29,465 --> 00:33:29,915 Well? 645 00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:32,887 My mouth is dead. 646 00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:37,969 Well, make it form the words "you were right." 647 00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:38,807 Ok! 648 00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:43,691 You were right, about everything! 649 00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:45,611 Oh, thank you. 650 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,610 Except the trial. 651 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:48,572 She was guilty! 652 00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:50,191 You're crazy. 653 00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:55,448 Just look, I stayed sober after five martinis. 654 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:58,083 Doesn't that mean anything to you? 655 00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:01,161 How do I know you were sober? 656 00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:02,917 Um-- gopher. 657 00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,879 Gopher helped me bring you down here. 658 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,550 He'll testify to it. 659 00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,128 The guy who was stealing the potato chips? 660 00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:13,224 You want me to accept testimony from a guy with a record? 661 00:34:24,979 --> 00:34:29,729 Furthermore, you can't prove that she didn't 662 00:34:29,817 --> 00:34:32,357 try to strangle her husband! 663 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,695 I certainly can. 664 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:34,660 Ha! 665 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,119 Ha! 666 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:39,289 Mr. Hamilton said his wife tried to strangle 667 00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:41,328 him while he was asleep, right? 668 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,332 So? 669 00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:45,633 So, I'm going to prove that she 670 00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:47,668 couldn't have strangled him. 671 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,422 Pretend you're asleep. 672 00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,014 What? 673 00:34:53,090 --> 00:34:55,470 Go lie down. 674 00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,091 Or do you just want to say that I'm right? 675 00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:03,983 Ok. 676 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:05,900 I'm asleep. 677 00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:06,848 So what? 678 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:13,188 So, I couldn't possibly strangle you, see? 679 00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:14,357 You're not even trying. 680 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:15,195 Yes, I am. 681 00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:16,109 Your neck is too big. 682 00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,447 What do you want me to do, trim it? 683 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,163 I know. 684 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,043 Come on, roll over. 685 00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:21,868 What? 686 00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,963 Roll over. 687 00:35:24,038 --> 00:35:26,368 Now, let me see. 688 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,287 What if she tried this? 689 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,340 You know what? 690 00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:35,803 What? 691 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:39,143 I think you're kind of cute. 692 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,890 If you think I'm kind of cute, why are you strangling me? 693 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:42,683 Sorry. 694 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,111 You know something? 695 00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:51,398 What? 696 00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:52,692 I think you're kind of cute. 697 00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:07,581 So I told her I had to take her back. 698 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,575 And did she understand? 699 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,627 She was very hurt, and I can't blame her. 700 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,512 You sound like you're blaming yourself. 701 00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,469 No, it has to be this way. 702 00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,929 Legally, I'm nothing more than a friend of the family. 703 00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:22,600 Well, now that Vicki knows the truth, 704 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,350 maybe you should talk to her aunt and uncle. 705 00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:26,483 Maybe there's some way you could-- 706 00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,361 Merrill, I wish-- 707 00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,316 so do I, Adam. 708 00:36:40,406 --> 00:37:29,616 So do I. 709 00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:31,745 Vicki! 710 00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:35,672 Merrill, thank you for all your trouble. 711 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,803 No trouble. 712 00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:43,721 And you, little lady, you had a busy weekend. 713 00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:45,303 Can I go to my room? 714 00:37:54,146 --> 00:37:56,856 What am I going to do with her? 715 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,781 Don't be too hard. 716 00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:02,529 We all have the need for a little adventure now and then. 717 00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:05,203 I'm surprised it took her this long. 718 00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:10,002 All she ever talks about is you and the ship. 719 00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:10,869 She's crazy about the both of you. 720 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,865 The feeling's mutual. 721 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,037 Would you like a drink? 722 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:16,667 Tea? 723 00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,342 Oh, please, thank you. 724 00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:20,212 Dolores, there's something-- 725 00:38:20,297 --> 00:38:21,717 merrill, there's something-- 726 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:23,719 [laughs] 727 00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:25,051 I'm sorry. 728 00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,096 What were you going to say? 729 00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,349 Thank you. 730 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,231 Oh I was just going to say that, well, there's something 731 00:38:32,309 --> 00:38:34,019 I want to talk to you about. 732 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,693 Well, I was, too. 733 00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:36,481 You first. 734 00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,238 No, you go. 735 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,069 Hm. 736 00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:47,865 Well, I, I guess I'm going to have 737 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:48,700 to get used to saying this. 738 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,582 Harry and I are getting a divorce. 739 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:56,075 Oh, I'm sorry. 740 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,247 Oh, we're still friends. 741 00:38:59,336 --> 00:39:02,916 Maybe this way we can stay friends. 742 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:05,587 Our only concern now is the children. 743 00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:06,216 Of course. 744 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:09,432 We haven't told them. 745 00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,103 I think it would be easier on them if they 746 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,392 could go away for a while. 747 00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,766 I think that's a wise decision. 748 00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:21,654 But, when it comes to Vicki, there's only one 749 00:39:21,734 --> 00:39:24,704 place where she'll be happy-- 750 00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:25,489 with you. 751 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,288 You want Vicki to stay with me? 752 00:39:34,371 --> 00:39:37,751 Only for a while, until I'm settled. 753 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,127 Merrill? 754 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,215 Right now I'm sorry I stopped drinking. 755 00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:02,436 I'm afraid I couldn't start something like this 756 00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:02,605 knowing how it's going to end. 757 00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,985 I can take Vicki, but I can't give her back. 758 00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,235 I'm sorry, Dolores. 759 00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:16,577 I know you don't understand why it's affecting me like this. 760 00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:17,834 I do understand. 761 00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:23,046 Georgina was my sister. 762 00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:23,549 We didn't have many secrets. 763 00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:33,850 Why didn't you say something after all these years? 764 00:40:33,931 --> 00:40:37,351 So that Vicki would be your choice, 765 00:40:37,434 --> 00:40:40,524 not your responsibility. 766 00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,774 You were free to walk away. 767 00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,147 I don't want to walk away. 768 00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,374 I want to enjoy every moment I can 769 00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:58,291 with Vicki, even if it has to end some day. 770 00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:04,382 Merrill, you hardly know your daughter. 771 00:41:04,461 --> 00:41:07,261 Take this opportunity and live with her, 772 00:41:07,339 --> 00:41:10,429 learn what she's all about. 773 00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:15,349 If it turns out that she belongs with you, 774 00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:18,811 then that's where I want her to be. 775 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,853 You mean that? 776 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:24,727 All I want is what is best for her. 777 00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:27,395 That's all? 778 00:41:27,484 --> 00:41:29,034 That's everything. 779 00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,821 Captain merrill? 780 00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:35,701 I just came in to say goodbye. 781 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:47,463 I'm afraid that's impossible. 782 00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:48,376 What? 783 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:50,594 How can I say goodbye if you're coming 784 00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:50,724 back to the ship with me? 785 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,058 I am? 786 00:41:56,138 --> 00:42:00,138 That is if you think you can put up with me for a while. 787 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,936 Forever and ever! 788 00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,900 I love you! 789 00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:05,610 And I love you! 790 00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:13,986 Thank you. 791 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,203 She really does have your eyes. 792 00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:33,301 I wonder if the Hamilton's ever had champagne in bed. 793 00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:36,764 Well, if they did, I will bet you 794 00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:39,345 that this was the moment that he told 795 00:42:39,431 --> 00:42:42,351 her that she was beautiful. 796 00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:45,234 Oh, there was never any evidence 797 00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:46,652 he ever said such a thing. 798 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,988 Maybe that's what made her so mad. 799 00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,528 She wasn't mad. 800 00:42:53,612 --> 00:42:56,072 He was just a dyed-in-the-wool nut. 801 00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,156 Like me. 802 00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:57,911 You? 803 00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:00,082 Mm-hm. 804 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,080 For not having told you that you're wonderful sooner. 805 00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:12,666 And I've never met anybody like you. 806 00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:13,666 Are you trying-- 807 00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:15,677 are you trying to say that, um-- 808 00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:17,719 that I'm falling in love? 809 00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:18,933 Mm-hm. 810 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:19,933 Mm-hm. 811 00:43:20,014 --> 00:43:20,724 Yep. 812 00:43:23,934 --> 00:43:26,814 I confess. 813 00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,225 I am guilty. 814 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:46,873 Good evening. 815 00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:50,673 Oh, it's you. 816 00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:54,763 Who were you expecting, that Casanova Dr. Bricker? 817 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,300 He is not a Casanova. 818 00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,724 And by the way, I am not a floozy. 819 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,263 Well, I saw you kissing him. 820 00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:03,888 But did you ever give me a tumble? 821 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,104 No. 822 00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,305 You? 823 00:44:07,394 --> 00:44:10,564 Look, I'm not a big swinger. 824 00:44:10,647 --> 00:44:12,437 I'm, I'm bashful. 825 00:44:12,524 --> 00:44:16,404 It isn't easy for me to approach a stranger. 826 00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:22,907 I-- lady, I've been wanting to meet you this whole trip. 827 00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:23,743 You have? 828 00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,077 Oh, what's the use. 829 00:44:25,162 --> 00:44:28,582 You probably find me too old-fashioned. 830 00:44:28,665 --> 00:44:31,625 Now, now, wait a minute. 831 00:44:31,710 --> 00:44:34,920 Would you think I was forward if I bought you a drink? 832 00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,835 No. 833 00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:40,804 And if I ask you to take me dancing afterwards? 834 00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:42,926 No. 835 00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:43,973 Well then, shall we? 836 00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:44,766 Woo! 837 00:44:55,692 --> 00:44:58,242 Well, hello there! 838 00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,030 Hello. 839 00:45:02,991 --> 00:45:04,951 I hope you don't mind being out with one of today's women. 840 00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,615 No. 841 00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:08,463 Just don't get like her. 842 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,119 You know, she's been hitting on me 843 00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:11,787 ever since I got on this boat. 844 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:12,745 Really? 845 00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:13,535 Shocking. 846 00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:26,137 Sorry about the accommodations, 847 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,813 but it's the best I can do on the spur of the moment. 848 00:45:28,892 --> 00:45:30,522 That's ok. 849 00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,822 You know, I was wondering, what should I call you from now on? 850 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,818 What would you like to call me? 851 00:45:37,901 --> 00:45:38,611 I don't know. 852 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,370 "Daddy" doesn't sound right, and you certainly 853 00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:46,199 don't look like a "pop." 854 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,325 Thank goodness. 855 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:51,331 I guess "captain merrill" fits you best of all. 856 00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,665 Then why argue with perfection? 857 00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:57,000 Captain merrill I am, captain merrill I remain. 858 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,507 Ok? 859 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,299 Ok. 860 00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,842 Captain merrill? 861 00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,755 Who? 862 00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:04,184 You know what? 863 00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,431 What? 864 00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:07,473 I'd rather be here than any place 865 00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:10,306 else in the whole wide world. 866 00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:15,192 So would I. 867 00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:21,492 I bet, if mommy is watching, she'd be happy, too. 868 00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:26,913 Do you think she is? 869 00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:32,502 I'm sure of it. 870 00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:48,887 [Music playing] 871 00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,823 Sometimes things get a little confused, 872 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,780 but all's well that ends well. 873 00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:03,990 Thank you for everything. 874 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,741 Well, I'm happy you're happy. 875 00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:08,242 I'm sorry things didn't work out for the two of us, 876 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:09,905 but don't give up hope. 877 00:47:09,993 --> 00:47:13,663 I'm sure there's a man out there waiting for you-- 878 00:47:13,747 --> 00:47:14,457 somewhere. 879 00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:24,760 Darling, when you say that the defendant is innocent, 880 00:47:24,841 --> 00:47:26,051 then the defendant is innocent. 881 00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,804 Oh, darling, you are entitled to your own opinion, 882 00:47:28,887 --> 00:47:32,767 but you were wrong when you said I was right. 883 00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,769 No, no, no, darling, you are wrong when 884 00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:38,692 you say that I am wrong when I am trying 885 00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,522 to tell you that you are right. 886 00:47:40,607 --> 00:47:42,987 You're so right. 887 00:47:43,068 --> 00:47:44,948 What happened to them? 888 00:47:45,028 --> 00:47:46,108 I don't know. 889 00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:47,446 Looks like the jury is still out. 890 00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,701 Anybody seen Vicki? 891 00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:50,493 Nope. 892 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,536 Not since breakfast. 893 00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:53,448 Well, she's got to be around here somewhere. 894 00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,457 Maybe she's on deck. 895 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:56,209 Sir. 896 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,220 Bye, bye. 897 00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,719 Thank you for sailing with us. 898 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:07,470 Bye, bye. 899 00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:08,511 Hope you enjoyed your cruise. 900 00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:11,764 Bye, come again soon. 901 00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:15,727 We certainly enjoyed having you. 902 00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:16,019 [Laughter] 903 00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:56,178 [Theme music - "love boat"] B 904 00:48:56,228 --> 00:49:00,778 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 61076

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