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1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,964
[Theme music - "love boat"]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,349
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:26,225
Come aboard, we're
expecting you.
4
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:37,577
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow,
5
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:42,002
it floats back to you.
6
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:49,973
The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.
7
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:58,849
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
8
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,193
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
9
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:14,818
And love won't hurt anymore.
10
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:23,248
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
11
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:23,373
It's love!
12
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:30,626
Welcome aboard, it's love!
13
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,557
[Music playing]
14
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,294
Ooh! Fan mail.
15
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,411
Where's my stack?
16
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,417
A bill, a bill, a bill,
and a letter from Vicki.
17
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,540
Ah.
18
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,876
Take a look at the
picture she sent.
19
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,092
Oh, gee, she's grown!
20
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,093
Children have a
tendency to do that.
21
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,546
She's almost 12.
22
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,966
And turning into a lovely
young lady, I must say.
23
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,266
What do you expect?
24
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,179
She takes after her--
25
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,188
I mean, her mother
was very beautiful.
26
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,861
And the fact that you and
Vicki have the same eyes
27
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,980
is just a coincidence.
28
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:44,044
So how does she like
living in Mexico?
29
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:48,422
Ah, she's adjusting pretty
well, all things considered.
30
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,801
She still feels the loss
of her mother very deeply.
31
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,432
I just thank heavens
that Vicki has her aunt
32
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,220
and uncle to take care of her.
33
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,514
She also has you.
34
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,427
[Laughs] No.
35
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,885
To her, I'm just
captain merrill,
36
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,265
the funny man she met once.
37
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,942
She'll never know anything else.
38
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,815
You don't plan on
ever seeing her again?
39
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,744
I'm afraid to.
40
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:23,203
The hardest thing I've ever
done was say goodbye to Vicki.
41
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,286
I know if I saw her again,
I'd have to say it again.
42
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,373
I don't know if I could do that.
43
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,298
Well, enjoy your cruise.
44
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,812
Can I help?
45
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,725
I'm Rose kennycott,
and I have a feeling
46
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:51,983
I've made a terrible mistake.
47
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,475
Well, it can't be too serious.
48
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,237
You are on the right ship.
49
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,949
Yes, but everything
else is wrong.
50
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,780
Look at those people kissing.
51
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,276
They aren't doing it right?
52
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,368
They're doing it in public.
53
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,412
Oh, well, that's what
we call indoor games.
54
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,248
Oh, this younger generation.
55
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,593
Well, we also have plenty of
outdoor games-- shuffleboard,
56
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,089
deck tennis,
ping-pong-- you're going
57
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,510
to have a wonderful cruise!
58
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,009
Well--
59
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,011
oh, maybe we'll even find you
a partner for the indoor games.
60
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,188
Oh, sir.
61
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:29,889
Excuse me.
62
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,688
My name is Barney briscoe.
63
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,271
And I wonder if you can help me.
64
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,186
Yes, Mr. Briscoe.
65
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,034
Let's see, you're in cabin--
66
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,649
fiesta 131.
67
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,816
Yes, that's right.
68
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,065
I-- I was wondering.
69
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,527
Oh, about your
dining assignment.
70
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,867
Yes, sir.
Let's see, you're at table--
71
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,872
table 32.
72
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,084
Right.
73
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:49,913
How does one--
74
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,368
go about playing
jackpot bingo.
75
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:51,867
Well, you just show up at the--
76
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,498
acapulco lounge.
77
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,424
Right.
78
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:59,053
You certainly seem to have
all the right answers.
79
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,342
Except one.
80
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,675
Oh?
81
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:02,719
How do you meet a lady?
82
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,385
Well Mr. Briscoe,
you've certainly
83
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,893
come to the right place.
84
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,385
We don't call this the
love boat because we're
85
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:10,516
crazy about tennis.
86
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,649
This younger generation.
87
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,443
Ooh.
88
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,242
My lord.
89
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,541
Uh, excuse me,
I'm Harry Stewart.
90
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,250
Aha.
91
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,080
I think I'm on the lower deck.
92
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:33,826
Correct.
93
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,036
Cabin 359.
94
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,046
And a nice cabin
it is, too, sir.
95
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,298
Oh, well, you
won't find me in it
96
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:42,759
very often, because I just spent
nine weeks in a locked room.
97
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,762
Boy, my mom just used to
make me stand in a corner.
98
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,925
No, no, no.
99
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,684
This was a jury room.
100
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,096
I was on the Hamilton case.
101
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:51,934
Oh!
102
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,348
Wow.
103
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,266
Where the wife tried to kill
him three different times!
104
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,234
That's the one.
105
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,444
Boy, she sure seemed
guilty to me, man.
106
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,114
Well, of course
she was guilty.
107
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,283
11 men good and true
knew she was guilty.
108
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,612
Well then, how come
the jury was deadlocked?
109
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:10,787
Because of this stupid, dumb
woman, a woman by the name
110
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,080
of noyce.
111
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:12,713
She kept saying, she's innocent!
112
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,749
She's innocent!
113
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,922
She was innocent.
114
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,091
Noyce, Ann noyce.
115
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:18,839
Yes, ma'am.
116
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,960
You!
117
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:21,957
Get off my ship.
118
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,468
Go!
Go home!
119
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,719
I should leave?
120
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,351
Otherwise there's going to
be another attempted murder!
121
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,968
Well, you have
the perfect weapon--
122
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,515
your head.
123
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,808
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
124
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:32,481
Hey, the trial is over.
125
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,138
Can't we just call a truce?
126
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:34,977
Come on now.
127
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:35,691
No!
128
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,020
Never.
129
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,475
Well, enjoy your cruise.
130
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:38,984
I intend to.
131
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,985
And so do I.
132
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,240
It's guilty!
133
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:50,332
She was guilty, guilty as hell!
134
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,449
That was the lower
deck, wasn't it?
135
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,247
Yes.
136
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,543
[Ship horn blasting]
137
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,505
[Music playing]
138
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,698
Vicki (voiceover):
Dear captain merrill,
139
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,577
thank you, thank you, thank
you for my birthday present,
140
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,826
a cruise director's uniform!
141
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:45,457
It's only the neatest thing
I ever got in my whole life!
142
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:50,048
Maybe someday I can be a real
cruise director on your ship.
143
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,426
Only I hope I don't have
to wait that long see you.
144
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,845
I just made myself sad.
145
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,185
I miss you a real, real lot.
146
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:04,441
And I'm always thinking about
the time I came on the ship,
147
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,185
because it was the
best time I ever had.
148
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:11,277
And I wish-- oh well.
149
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:11,695
You know what I wish.
150
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,044
I don't want to go.
151
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,335
Why can't I stay here with you?
152
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,089
Vicki.
153
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,590
Why couldn't I?
154
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:29,761
Now look, you have an aunt and
uncle who love you very much.
155
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,182
You'll be much happier
living with them
156
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:35,010
than with a grouchy old seaman.
157
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,767
You aren't grouchy.
158
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,850
You're the best.
159
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,017
I love you, captain merrill.
160
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:43,685
I love you, Vicki.
161
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,458
Jenkins, this is
captain stubing.
162
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:05,000
I'd like to place a call
to acapulco, please.
163
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,376
An hour?
164
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,173
All right.
165
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,232
Good evening, Mr. Briscoe.
166
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,151
Good evening.
167
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,559
Well, tonight is
English pub night.
168
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,227
Are you coming to dinner?
169
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,735
Now look, when I said that
I wanted to meet a lady,
170
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,569
you know, I meant
someone my age.
171
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,275
Mm-hm.
172
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:36,584
Now, I'm going to be blunt.
173
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,249
You're not my type.
174
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,288
Oh well, you can't
blame a girl for trying.
175
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,213
Oh, good evening,
Ms. Kennycott.
176
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,541
Don't you look lovely?
177
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:46,626
Why, thank you.
178
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,211
Ah, Ms. Kennycott,
have you met Mr. Briscoe?
179
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,667
Mr. Briscoe, Ms. Kennycott.
180
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,376
How do you do?
181
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,295
How do you do?
182
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,843
Is anyone joining
you for dinner?
183
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,677
No.
184
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,352
Well, we like our
passengers to have company,
185
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,891
and I won't take
no for an answer.
186
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,636
Well, in that case, i'd
love to have dinner with you.
187
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:14,529
Young blonde whippersnapper!
188
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:16,373
Ah, here we go.
189
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,029
Thank you.
190
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,696
Thank you, Isaac.
191
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,744
Not going to dinner?
192
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:20,447
No, no.
193
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,076
I can't face it.
194
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:25,423
The fates have dealt me
a dastardly blow, Isaac.
195
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,879
I am sitting at the same
table with that woman.
196
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,881
I'm just hoping that I can
stall long enough whereas she'll
197
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,384
just eat and be gone.
198
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,176
Ah, come on.
199
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,428
She can't be that bad.
200
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,510
She let a murderer go free!
201
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,556
Now, she didn't go free.
202
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,679
I mean, she's going
to be retried.
203
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:43,597
And the husband didn't die.
204
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,654
Whether the husband
was killed or not,
205
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,569
the wife attempted to murder
him at least three times;
206
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,739
first, by putting
poison in his meatloaf;
207
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,238
second, by hitting him
with a heavy candlestick;
208
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,912
and third, by trying
to strangle him!
209
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,160
Now, what do you call that?
210
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:07,461
Bad b
211
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,461
oh good evening, Sidney.
212
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:10,593
Are you in town?
213
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,259
Aw!
214
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,589
It's better out here.
215
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,933
Isn't it, though?
216
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,258
[Laughs]
217
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,973
Wouldn't it be more
fun if you were dining
218
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:19,973
with a handsome stranger?
219
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:24,929
Well, wouldn't it?
220
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,267
Julie, I have been waiting
for the handsome stranger
221
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,484
for 30 years.
222
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,273
It's a good thing I
didn't hold my breath.
223
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,278
Nobody ever notices me.
224
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,612
I noticed you from the
first moment I saw you.
225
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:42,947
Doc, we're having kind
of a girl chat here.
226
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,115
I wonder if you couldn't
charm us out of our socks
227
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,123
another time.
228
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,575
Of course!
229
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,785
Later, cute thing.
230
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,955
Oh, thank you.
231
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:52,424
So anyway.
232
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,343
Who's that?
233
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,092
Our ship's doctor,
Adam bricker.
234
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,635
Oh what's the use.
235
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,721
I never know what to say to men.
236
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,555
When the sexual
revolution took place,
237
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,440
I must have been
behind enemy lines.
238
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,478
Then Rose, isn't it time
you came out fighting?
239
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,523
Today's woman doesn't wait
for the phone to ring,
240
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,186
she places the call herself.
241
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,566
Really?
242
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,572
Yes.
243
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,703
She refuses to float
down the stream of life.
244
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,660
She paddles her own
canoe, and you can, too.
245
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,952
I can?
246
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,325
Of course you can.
247
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,502
Would you excuse
me just one moment?
248
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,003
Ah, Mr. Briscoe,
it's now or never.
249
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,415
You know what I mean?
250
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,927
Young vamp.
251
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:58,531
Excuse me.
252
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,991
Would you mind if I sat here?
253
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,200
Not at all.
254
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,200
I was just leaving.
255
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,155
You've been very good so far.
256
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,747
You haven't mentioned a
word about you-know-what.
257
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,833
I won't if you won't.
258
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,508
Far be it from me to
be responsible for your
259
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,048
bursting a blood vessel.
260
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,431
Far be it from me to cause
your hair to get any grayer.
261
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,639
What do you mean?
262
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,679
Evening, folks.
263
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:25,892
Oh, good evening.
264
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,521
Do you like eating, or are
you here for the atmosphere?
265
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,229
I think I will have the--
266
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,349
roast beef.
267
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,515
Mr. Stewart and I served
on the same jury recently,
268
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,904
and that's all he ever ordered--
269
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,321
roast beef.
270
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,949
I'll have the roast--
271
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:41,948
duck.
272
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,409
Don't be silly, Harry.
273
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,659
You don't like duck.
274
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,741
Why would anybody
want to eat duck?
275
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:52,957
With their little yellow bill,
and their little webbed feet.
276
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000
Yes, they look so innocent.
277
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,795
Ducks are guilty!
278
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,879
You're starting it again.
279
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,295
I didn't say anything
about the murder trial.
280
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,974
I was talking
about little ducks!
281
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:09,062
Little ducks who ought
to get a life sentence!
282
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:12,429
Would madam like a
little innocent ducky, too?
283
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,438
No, thank you.
284
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:17,689
I think I'll have, uh, meatloaf.
285
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:18,823
Meatloaf.
286
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,779
Well, would you like to have
something along with it?
287
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:28,950
Peas, carrots mashed potatoes,
with absolutely not a trace
288
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:29,624
of strychnine.
289
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,832
Meatloaf, no strychnine.
290
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,793
There was strychnine
in that meatloaf.
291
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,294
That was definitely established
the third day of the trial.
292
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,797
There was evidence that
there was some strychnine,
293
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,879
but absolutely no
evidence the wife
294
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,585
was the one who put the
strychnine into the meatloaf!
295
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,465
Well, if the wife
didn't put the strychnine
296
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,552
into the meatloaf,
how'd it get there?
297
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,967
Maybe she had a butcher
with a sense of humor!
298
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,846
If there was a law
against stupidity,
299
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:53,023
you would get the chair!
300
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:03,528
I'd like to speak with
senora strickland, por favor.
301
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,991
Well look, wait a minute.
302
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:06,991
Will you just slow down?
303
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,702
Every night, I say
her prayers with her.
304
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,834
This morning, is
not Vicki in bed.
305
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:14,462
Is only note.
306
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,628
Note says, goodbye.
307
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,168
She takes clothes,
dinero, and no come back!
308
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:25,723
Oh, my vickisita has run away!
309
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,129
Oh my god.
310
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,191
Julie (on P.A.):
Launches will be leaving
311
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,519
for acapulco from the
gangway on the port side
312
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,935
of the aloha deck level.
313
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,824
Those passengers who signed
up for bus tours of the city
314
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,112
should gather on the dock
when they reach shore.
315
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,026
The ship will be
sailing in ten hours.
316
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,874
That's precisely at midnight.
317
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,699
All passengers should be
back on board by 11:30.
318
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,786
Welcome to acapulco.
319
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,791
Thank you.
320
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:00,998
Did you call the
chief of police
321
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,535
and tell him to expect us?
- Yes, sir.
322
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,128
I'm coming, too.
323
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,545
I want you all to
know how much this--
324
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,974
sir, it's nothing.
325
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,595
It is to me.
326
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,852
Captain, I think
there's a passenger
327
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,644
who needs your assistance.
328
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,097
Gopher, could you
take care of this?
329
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,240
Vicki.
330
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,662
Vicki.
331
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,667
Hi.
332
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:45,919
Young lady, do you have
any idea of how much trouble
333
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,424
you've caused?
334
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,007
We, we have been
worried sick about you.
335
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,934
A girl your age should have--
336
00:16:56,014 --> 00:17:01,484
some sense of responsibility.
337
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:04,364
I'm sorry.
338
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,295
Julie!
339
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,632
Well, hi!
340
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:32,547
I have to talk to you.
341
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,554
It's about a man.
342
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,085
Oh, ok.
343
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,308
Let's go sit down.
344
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,138
Yes?
345
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,983
Now, it wouldn't happen to be
about that handsome stranger I
346
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,018
was talking to you
about, would it?
347
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:45,312
I had a feeling you two
were going to click.
348
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,187
We haven't clicked.
349
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,613
We clunked.
350
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,981
Huh?
351
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,197
I don't know how to
make the first move.
352
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,909
You just pick up the phone
and ask him for a date.
353
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,201
You mean, talk to
him on the phone?
354
00:17:59,286 --> 00:17:59,946
Yeah.
355
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,497
Maybe I'll write him a note.
356
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,540
Equally good.
357
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,045
Turn him on in 25 words or less.
358
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:08,798
Julie--
359
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,049
yeah.
360
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,510
Should I let him kiss
me on the first date?
361
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,052
No, you kiss him.
362
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,643
Pucker up, Dr. Bricker.
363
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,885
I've got you in my sites.
364
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,612
Watch out, Mr. Briscoe,
this could be your lucky day.
365
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:35,985
You see, Isaac, why I
don't go for today's women?
366
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,783
They're brazen, totally brazen.
367
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,803
Hey, hey, come on, gopher,
knock it off the potato chips.
368
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,300
What?
369
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,552
Don't give me
that innocent act.
370
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,723
Now, I had that basket
full of potato chips,
371
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,761
now it's half empty.
372
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,845
And you're accusing
me of eating them, eh?
373
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:00,560
Mr. Stewart?
374
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:01,389
Excuse me?
375
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,643
Hm?
376
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,104
Did you see me eat any
of these potato chips?
377
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:05,805
No.
378
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,654
No, I didn't.
379
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:07,598
Well how could he?
380
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,978
His back was turned to you.
381
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,146
I didn't see you
eat the potato chips,
382
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:17,355
but there is salt
around your mouth.
383
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,907
Circumstantial evidence.
384
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,081
That could have come
from the sea spray.
385
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:26,159
That is exactly the addlepated
logic you used at the trial.
386
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,418
There is an ocean around us.
387
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,420
And you do know
what's in the ocean?
388
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,421
Salt.
389
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,343
And the salt air just
wafted across the deck
390
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:39,973
and landed in a perfect
pattern around his mouth.
391
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,103
Maybe he had a Margarita.
392
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:44,099
I knew better than to
discuss this with you.
393
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,772
Of course, because,
as usual, I'm right.
394
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,733
Well, come on, folks.
395
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,944
It's just potato chips.
396
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:52,944
It's not important.
397
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,355
No, no, no, no.
398
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,903
This is very important.
399
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,106
Did you eat those potato chips?
400
00:19:59,197 --> 00:19:59,947
Go ahead.
401
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,782
Tell them, gopher.
402
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,577
I'm not saying a word until
my lawyer brings the onion dip.
403
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:09,961
He's innocent.
404
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,422
He is guilty, guilty as hell.
405
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:15,962
No, no.
406
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,468
She's fine, carlotta,
not a scratch.
407
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,140
Now look, senor and
senora strickland are
408
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,219
flying in tonight, aren't they?
409
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,385
And what time do you
expect them at home?
410
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:32,475
Well, I'll plan on bringing
Vicki out there around then.
411
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,614
Yes, gracias, carlotta.
412
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:39,783
I don't wanna go back.
413
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:43,243
Vicki, it was wrong of
you to run away like this.
414
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:47,325
Your aunt and uncle
love you very much.
415
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:51,672
If you have a problem,
you should talk to them.
416
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:55,340
But you love me,
too, don't you?
417
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,210
Of course I do.
418
00:20:56,296 --> 00:21:00,006
More than aunt
Dolores and uncle Harry?
419
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,012
This isn't a contest, Vicki.
420
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,473
We all love you very much.
421
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,982
Now, this doesn't have something
to do with why you ran away,
422
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,729
does it?
423
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,482
Do you really want to know?
424
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:14,614
I really want to know.
425
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,843
I found it in a
box of old stuff.
426
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,221
It's mom's diary.
427
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:52,063
"I told merrill tonight
that I'm marrying Tom.
428
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,404
It was the hardest thing
I've ever had to do.
429
00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:00,741
Merrill doesn't know i'm
going to have his child.
430
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,699
If he ever does
sense the truth, I
431
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,070
hope he can understand that
I'm doing what's best for
432
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,538
both of us and for our baby."
433
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:18,707
Mommy didn't marry you,
but you're my real father,
434
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:19,755
aren't you?
435
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:25,425
Aren't you?
436
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,354
Yes.
437
00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,693
Please, let's stay
together always.
438
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,948
We won't ever say goodbye.
439
00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:55,416
[Music playing]
440
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,185
Mr. Briscoe, you're all alone!
441
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:16,899
Please, don't worry about me.
442
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:17,808
I'm all right.
443
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,016
I'm fine.
444
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,437
Didn't you get the note?
445
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:23,146
What note?
446
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,895
It was sort of a love note.
447
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,356
At least, I think
it was a love note.
448
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:30,656
If I did get it, I would
have ripped it apart.
449
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,492
Mr. Briscoe, I think
the time has come for you
450
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,577
to take the bull by the horns.
451
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,123
Bull and horns--
452
00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,326
all I wanted to do
is meet a nice lady.
453
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:41,416
Now vamoose!
454
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:42,303
Ah!
455
00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:42,839
Are you all right?
456
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,801
Oh, I'm fine.
457
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,011
I don't think you
understand, Mr. Briscoe.
458
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,011
I don't--
- please!
459
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,472
Please!
- Let me explain.
460
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,766
Isaac?
461
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:57,892
Mr. Stewart.
462
00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,018
Yeah, Isaac, I
want to apologize
463
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,194
for my earlier behavior.
464
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,523
Oh, that's ok.
465
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,857
But it's that woman.
466
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:07,362
She could drive St. Francis
of assisi to valium.
467
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,065
And I can't help
but argue with her.
468
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,196
She's so dumb.
469
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,782
Well didn't miss noyce
believe any of the evidence?
470
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,038
No!
471
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,870
The husband said that his wife
had five martinis to bolster
472
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,037
her courage, and then
that she tried to brain
473
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,626
him with a candlestick.
474
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,842
Well, what did the wife say?
475
00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,511
Well, she said yes,
she had five martinis.
476
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,551
But she said she
was cold sober, and
477
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,184
the dumbbell agrees with her.
478
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:34,262
I still do.
479
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:39,017
Ah, if it isn't miss 11-1.
480
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:40,772
Isaac, will you
please explain to her
481
00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,654
that there is no way that
you can have five martinis
482
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,032
in one hour and not get drunk?
483
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:47,238
The man's right.
484
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,029
Oh, really?
485
00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:51,242
Five martinis please.
486
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,123
Five martinis?
487
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,080
I'm going to prove
a little point.
488
00:24:56,161 --> 00:25:01,121
[Laughs] Isaac, let me
have five martinis, too,
489
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,418
because I don't have the
heart, sober, to watch
490
00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,751
what's going to happen to her.
491
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:09,973
Why didn't you write the note?
492
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:10,630
I did.
493
00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:12,427
He said he didn't get it.
494
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,300
That's because I ripped it up.
495
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:15,807
This cruise is almost over.
496
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,429
You've got to stop wasting
time and just go get him.
497
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,265
I guarantee the
man is interested.
498
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,652
Are you sure?
499
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,768
Believe me, you're just
what the doctor ordered.
500
00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,186
Hm.
501
00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:27,904
That's all I want to hear.
502
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,856
Host (on P.A.): Good evening.
503
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,278
This ship will remain in
acapulco until 12:00 midnight.
504
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:37,117
For all those not
dining ashore, there
505
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:41,832
will be a main seating dinner
in the coral dining room.
506
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,115
Oh!
507
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,747
Oh!
508
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,173
Well, I guess you and I are
the only two people who didn't
509
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,013
go into acapulco tonight.
510
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,839
Did you want to see me?
511
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,594
Yes.
512
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,256
Well, come in, please.
513
00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:08,649
Is there a problem?
514
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:12,153
Well, I've been having
these strange feelings--
515
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,987
here.
516
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,993
Well, you've come
to the right place.
517
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,246
How long have you
had this feeling?
518
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:21,368
Not long.
519
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:23,544
But everybody tells me
nowadays you shouldn't wait.
520
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:25,003
You should do
something about it.
521
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,293
Good thinking.
522
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:33,717
Why don't you step inside and,
here, take your clothes off.
523
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,600
You mean right-- right
now, just like that?
524
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,179
No time like the present.
525
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,104
Just call me when you're ready.
526
00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:42,141
We can get started.
527
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,975
Would, wouldn't you
like to talk a little?
528
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,980
Well, in a
situation like this,
529
00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:48,232
it's always a good idea
to take care of the body.
530
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,975
It's all happening so fast.
531
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,686
Just relax.
532
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:54,856
Maybe you'll be more
comfortable here on the couch.
533
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,486
And I could lock the door to
make sure no one disturbs us.
534
00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:01,454
Oh, doc, you devil!
535
00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,826
But!
536
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:04,873
What are you doing?
537
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,626
I'm kissing you, but
you're not helping much.
538
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,839
Rose, please, I'm a doctor!
539
00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,048
I know!
540
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,759
Rose, excuse-- Rose, Rose!
541
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:14,720
I must insist.
542
00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:15,469
Oh!
543
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,220
Excuse me.
544
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:17,341
I must insist-- I must insist!
545
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:22,217
Rose, I thought you came
here for medical treatment.
546
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,347
Oh my god!
547
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,853
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
548
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,595
Julie said--
549
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:27,556
Julie!
550
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:28,645
She said you were--
551
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:33,440
oh, I wish I could
die right on the spot!
552
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:34,896
I'm sorry.
553
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,146
What was I doing?
554
00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:39,907
A silly old woman trying to
join a revolution that's already
555
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,411
passed her by.
556
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:45,043
How could I ever have dreamed
that in one ocean cruise
557
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,711
I could find a man who
changed my whole life?
558
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,970
Rose, we all change the
course of our lives sometimes.
559
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,762
But it's better to take that
first step, and maybe stumble,
560
00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,387
than never to take
a step at all.
561
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:06,345
You're very kind.
562
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:10,114
No, I'm not just
being kind, believe me.
563
00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:12,358
Rose, someone is going
to respond to all
564
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,440
those feelings you have inside.
565
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:19,447
And whoever he is,
wherever he is,
566
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,121
he's going to be
a very lucky man.
567
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:22,489
Thank you.
568
00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:25,445
You made me see
the light tonight.
569
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:26,537
Who knows?
570
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:30,711
Maybe some night soon, you
may even see the stars.
571
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,295
And I thought you
were something special.
572
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,592
I beg your pardon?
573
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,585
But you're like all the rest--
574
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,967
just another floozy.
575
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:46,267
Agh!
576
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:58,566
Where are your five martinis?
577
00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:01,493
My, slow service.
578
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,163
What are you talking about?
579
00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,451
I've already drunk them.
580
00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:10,325
My, what fast service!
581
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,285
All of them?
582
00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,214
Count them.
583
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:19,883
I'll take your word for it.
584
00:29:19,966 --> 00:29:21,886
Can I ask you a question?
585
00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:24,008
What are we doing here?
586
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,845
I'm going to prove to you
that Hamilton's wife was
587
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:30,691
sober enough after
five martinis to know
588
00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:32,978
whether she tried to clobber
him with a candlestick.
589
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,732
Ah.
590
00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,862
I drank five martinis,
and I'm sober as the judge.
591
00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:46,195
Well, I want to ask you a
few questions, your honor.
592
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:53,544
First of all, that's a
ridiculous looking robe
593
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:54,325
you're wearing.
594
00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:00,918
I think that proves my
point, that the husband,
595
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:04,387
on the night in question, got
bombed out of his mind, just
596
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:05,179
like you.
597
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,561
Objection!
598
00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:12,519
Then he passed out, hitting
his head, raising a bump.
599
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:16,022
I want that stricken
from the record!
600
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:18,015
I want the jury to disregard--
601
00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:20,437
[thump]
602
00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,826
Ladies and gentlemen of
the jury, I rest my case.
603
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,092
Can I steer the ship
when we leave tonight?
604
00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:43,974
I promise I won't hit anything.
605
00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:47,140
You're hardly big
enough to see out.
606
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,390
I'd be willing to grow.
607
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:10,370
Vicki, we have to talk.
608
00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:11,581
Are you going to
tell me about sex?
609
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,125
Well, no.
610
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,288
Oh.
611
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,416
Didn't your aunt
delores tell you about--
612
00:31:21,504 --> 00:31:23,264
all that stuff?
613
00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:25,259
Yeah.
614
00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:26,631
But she made it sounds
so dull, I figured she
615
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:29,888
must have left something out.
616
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:36,311
Vicki, did you
understand everything
617
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,524
you read in your mommy's diary?
618
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,226
Not everything.
619
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:43,106
But I get the part where
you're my real father,
620
00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:46,322
and mommy marrying someone else.
621
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:47,324
Why do you think she did that?
622
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,582
Well, I guess she thought you
wouldn't be happy unless you
623
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,462
could be on your ship anymore.
624
00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:01,001
That was part of it.
625
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,795
The other part is
that she wanted
626
00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:07,469
you to have a
normal family life,
627
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:13,180
with two parents, other
kids, and dogs, and cats--
628
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,684
and a housekeeper
named carlotta?
629
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:24,187
Your mother wanted
the best for you.
630
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,695
A so do I.
631
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,949
You're going to send
me back, aren't you?
632
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,703
You don't want me.
633
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:40,788
I want you more than anything.
634
00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:43,165
I don't have the
right to keep you.
635
00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:44,802
I thought you loved me.
636
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,987
[Music playing]
637
00:33:16,285 --> 00:33:16,325
Wake up!
638
00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,495
Wake up!
639
00:33:21,582 --> 00:33:22,252
Ugh.
640
00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,253
Aha!
641
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:23,964
Aha yourself.
642
00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,253
What are you doing in my room?
643
00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:29,377
Waiting for an apology.
644
00:33:29,465 --> 00:33:29,915
Well?
645
00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:32,887
My mouth is dead.
646
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:37,969
Well, make it form the
words "you were right."
647
00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:38,807
Ok!
648
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:43,691
You were right,
about everything!
649
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:45,611
Oh, thank you.
650
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,610
Except the trial.
651
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:48,572
She was guilty!
652
00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:50,191
You're crazy.
653
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:55,448
Just look, I stayed sober
after five martinis.
654
00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:58,083
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
655
00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:01,161
How do I know you were sober?
656
00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:02,917
Um-- gopher.
657
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,879
Gopher helped me
bring you down here.
658
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,550
He'll testify to it.
659
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,128
The guy who was
stealing the potato chips?
660
00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:13,224
You want me to accept testimony
from a guy with a record?
661
00:34:24,979 --> 00:34:29,729
Furthermore, you can't
prove that she didn't
662
00:34:29,817 --> 00:34:32,357
try to strangle her husband!
663
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,695
I certainly can.
664
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:34,660
Ha!
665
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,119
Ha!
666
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:39,289
Mr. Hamilton said his
wife tried to strangle
667
00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:41,328
him while he was asleep, right?
668
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,332
So?
669
00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:45,633
So, I'm going
to prove that she
670
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:47,668
couldn't have strangled him.
671
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,422
Pretend you're asleep.
672
00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,014
What?
673
00:34:53,090 --> 00:34:55,470
Go lie down.
674
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,091
Or do you just want
to say that I'm right?
675
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:03,983
Ok.
676
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:05,900
I'm asleep.
677
00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:06,848
So what?
678
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:13,188
So, I couldn't possibly
strangle you, see?
679
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:14,357
You're not even trying.
680
00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:15,195
Yes, I am.
681
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:16,109
Your neck is too big.
682
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,447
What do you want
me to do, trim it?
683
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,163
I know.
684
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,043
Come on, roll over.
685
00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:21,868
What?
686
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,963
Roll over.
687
00:35:24,038 --> 00:35:26,368
Now, let me see.
688
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,287
What if she tried this?
689
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,340
You know what?
690
00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:35,803
What?
691
00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:39,143
I think you're kind of cute.
692
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,890
If you think I'm kind of
cute, why are you strangling me?
693
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:42,683
Sorry.
694
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,111
You know something?
695
00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:51,398
What?
696
00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:52,692
I think you're kind of cute.
697
00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:07,581
So I told her I
had to take her back.
698
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,575
And did she understand?
699
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,627
She was very hurt,
and I can't blame her.
700
00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,512
You sound like you're
blaming yourself.
701
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,469
No, it has to be this way.
702
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,929
Legally, I'm nothing more
than a friend of the family.
703
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:22,600
Well, now that
Vicki knows the truth,
704
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,350
maybe you should talk
to her aunt and uncle.
705
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:26,483
Maybe there's some
way you could--
706
00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,361
Merrill, I wish--
707
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,316
so do I, Adam.
708
00:36:40,406 --> 00:37:29,616
So do I.
709
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:31,745
Vicki!
710
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:35,672
Merrill, thank you
for all your trouble.
711
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,803
No trouble.
712
00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:43,721
And you, little lady,
you had a busy weekend.
713
00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:45,303
Can I go to my room?
714
00:37:54,146 --> 00:37:56,856
What am I going
to do with her?
715
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,781
Don't be too hard.
716
00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:02,529
We all have the need for a
little adventure now and then.
717
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:05,203
I'm surprised it
took her this long.
718
00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:10,002
All she ever talks about
is you and the ship.
719
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:10,869
She's crazy about
the both of you.
720
00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,865
The feeling's mutual.
721
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,037
Would you like a drink?
722
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:16,667
Tea?
723
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,342
Oh, please, thank you.
724
00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:20,212
Dolores, there's something--
725
00:38:20,297 --> 00:38:21,717
merrill, there's something--
726
00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:23,719
[laughs]
727
00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:25,051
I'm sorry.
728
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,096
What were you going to say?
729
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,349
Thank you.
730
00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,231
Oh I was just going to say
that, well, there's something
731
00:38:32,309 --> 00:38:34,019
I want to talk to you about.
732
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,693
Well, I was, too.
733
00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:36,481
You first.
734
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,238
No, you go.
735
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,069
Hm.
736
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:47,865
Well, I, I guess
I'm going to have
737
00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:48,700
to get used to saying this.
738
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,582
Harry and I are
getting a divorce.
739
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:56,075
Oh, I'm sorry.
740
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,247
Oh, we're still friends.
741
00:38:59,336 --> 00:39:02,916
Maybe this way we
can stay friends.
742
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:05,587
Our only concern
now is the children.
743
00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:06,216
Of course.
744
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:09,432
We haven't told them.
745
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,103
I think it would be
easier on them if they
746
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,392
could go away for a while.
747
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,766
I think that's
a wise decision.
748
00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:21,654
But, when it comes to
Vicki, there's only one
749
00:39:21,734 --> 00:39:24,704
place where she'll be happy--
750
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:25,489
with you.
751
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,288
You want Vicki
to stay with me?
752
00:39:34,371 --> 00:39:37,751
Only for a while,
until I'm settled.
753
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,127
Merrill?
754
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,215
Right now I'm sorry
I stopped drinking.
755
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:02,436
I'm afraid I couldn't
start something like this
756
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:02,605
knowing how it's going to end.
757
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,985
I can take Vicki, but
I can't give her back.
758
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,235
I'm sorry, Dolores.
759
00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:16,577
I know you don't understand why
it's affecting me like this.
760
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:17,834
I do understand.
761
00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:23,046
Georgina was my sister.
762
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:23,549
We didn't have many secrets.
763
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:33,850
Why didn't you say something
after all these years?
764
00:40:33,931 --> 00:40:37,351
So that Vicki
would be your choice,
765
00:40:37,434 --> 00:40:40,524
not your responsibility.
766
00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,774
You were free to walk away.
767
00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,147
I don't want to walk away.
768
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,374
I want to enjoy
every moment I can
769
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:58,291
with Vicki, even if it
has to end some day.
770
00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:04,382
Merrill, you hardly
know your daughter.
771
00:41:04,461 --> 00:41:07,261
Take this opportunity
and live with her,
772
00:41:07,339 --> 00:41:10,429
learn what she's all about.
773
00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:15,349
If it turns out that
she belongs with you,
774
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:18,811
then that's where
I want her to be.
775
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,853
You mean that?
776
00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:24,727
All I want is what
is best for her.
777
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:27,395
That's all?
778
00:41:27,484 --> 00:41:29,034
That's everything.
779
00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,821
Captain merrill?
780
00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:35,701
I just came in to say goodbye.
781
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:47,463
I'm afraid that's impossible.
782
00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:48,376
What?
783
00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:50,594
How can I say goodbye
if you're coming
784
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:50,724
back to the ship with me?
785
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,058
I am?
786
00:41:56,138 --> 00:42:00,138
That is if you think you can
put up with me for a while.
787
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,936
Forever and ever!
788
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,900
I love you!
789
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:05,610
And I love you!
790
00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:13,986
Thank you.
791
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,203
She really does
have your eyes.
792
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:33,301
I wonder if the Hamilton's
ever had champagne in bed.
793
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:36,764
Well, if they
did, I will bet you
794
00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:39,345
that this was the
moment that he told
795
00:42:39,431 --> 00:42:42,351
her that she was beautiful.
796
00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:45,234
Oh, there was
never any evidence
797
00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:46,652
he ever said such a thing.
798
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,988
Maybe that's what
made her so mad.
799
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,528
She wasn't mad.
800
00:42:53,612 --> 00:42:56,072
He was just a
dyed-in-the-wool nut.
801
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,156
Like me.
802
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:57,911
You?
803
00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:00,082
Mm-hm.
804
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,080
For not having told you that
you're wonderful sooner.
805
00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:12,666
And I've never met
anybody like you.
806
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:13,666
Are you trying--
807
00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:15,677
are you trying to say that, um--
808
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:17,719
that I'm falling in love?
809
00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:18,933
Mm-hm.
810
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:19,933
Mm-hm.
811
00:43:20,014 --> 00:43:20,724
Yep.
812
00:43:23,934 --> 00:43:26,814
I confess.
813
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,225
I am guilty.
814
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:46,873
Good evening.
815
00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:50,673
Oh, it's you.
816
00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:54,763
Who were you expecting,
that Casanova Dr. Bricker?
817
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,300
He is not a Casanova.
818
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,724
And by the way, I
am not a floozy.
819
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,263
Well, I saw you kissing him.
820
00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:03,888
But did you ever
give me a tumble?
821
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,104
No.
822
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,305
You?
823
00:44:07,394 --> 00:44:10,564
Look, I'm not a big swinger.
824
00:44:10,647 --> 00:44:12,437
I'm, I'm bashful.
825
00:44:12,524 --> 00:44:16,404
It isn't easy for me
to approach a stranger.
826
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:22,907
I-- lady, I've been wanting
to meet you this whole trip.
827
00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:23,743
You have?
828
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,077
Oh, what's the use.
829
00:44:25,162 --> 00:44:28,582
You probably find me
too old-fashioned.
830
00:44:28,665 --> 00:44:31,625
Now, now, wait a minute.
831
00:44:31,710 --> 00:44:34,920
Would you think I was forward
if I bought you a drink?
832
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,835
No.
833
00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:40,804
And if I ask you to take
me dancing afterwards?
834
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:42,926
No.
835
00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:43,973
Well then, shall we?
836
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:44,766
Woo!
837
00:44:55,692 --> 00:44:58,242
Well, hello there!
838
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,030
Hello.
839
00:45:02,991 --> 00:45:04,951
I hope you don't mind being
out with one of today's women.
840
00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,615
No.
841
00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:08,463
Just don't get like her.
842
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,119
You know, she's
been hitting on me
843
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:11,787
ever since I got on this boat.
844
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:12,745
Really?
845
00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:13,535
Shocking.
846
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:26,137
Sorry about the
accommodations,
847
00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,813
but it's the best I can do
on the spur of the moment.
848
00:45:28,892 --> 00:45:30,522
That's ok.
849
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,822
You know, I was wondering, what
should I call you from now on?
850
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,818
What would you
like to call me?
851
00:45:37,901 --> 00:45:38,611
I don't know.
852
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,370
"Daddy" doesn't sound
right, and you certainly
853
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:46,199
don't look like a "pop."
854
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,325
Thank goodness.
855
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:51,331
I guess "captain merrill"
fits you best of all.
856
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,665
Then why argue
with perfection?
857
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:57,000
Captain merrill I am,
captain merrill I remain.
858
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,507
Ok?
859
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,299
Ok.
860
00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,842
Captain merrill?
861
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,755
Who?
862
00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:04,184
You know what?
863
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,431
What?
864
00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:07,473
I'd rather be
here than any place
865
00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:10,306
else in the whole wide world.
866
00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:15,192
So would I.
867
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:21,492
I bet, if mommy is
watching, she'd be happy, too.
868
00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:26,913
Do you think she is?
869
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:32,502
I'm sure of it.
870
00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:48,887
[Music playing]
871
00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,823
Sometimes things
get a little confused,
872
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,780
but all's well that ends well.
873
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:03,990
Thank you for everything.
874
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,741
Well, I'm happy you're happy.
875
00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:08,242
I'm sorry things didn't
work out for the two of us,
876
00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:09,905
but don't give up hope.
877
00:47:09,993 --> 00:47:13,663
I'm sure there's a man out
there waiting for you--
878
00:47:13,747 --> 00:47:14,457
somewhere.
879
00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:24,760
Darling, when you say that
the defendant is innocent,
880
00:47:24,841 --> 00:47:26,051
then the defendant is innocent.
881
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,804
Oh, darling, you are
entitled to your own opinion,
882
00:47:28,887 --> 00:47:32,767
but you were wrong when
you said I was right.
883
00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,769
No, no, no, darling,
you are wrong when
884
00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:38,692
you say that I am
wrong when I am trying
885
00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,522
to tell you that you are right.
886
00:47:40,607 --> 00:47:42,987
You're so right.
887
00:47:43,068 --> 00:47:44,948
What happened to them?
888
00:47:45,028 --> 00:47:46,108
I don't know.
889
00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:47,446
Looks like the
jury is still out.
890
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,701
Anybody seen Vicki?
891
00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:50,493
Nope.
892
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,536
Not since breakfast.
893
00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:53,448
Well, she's got to be
around here somewhere.
894
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,457
Maybe she's on deck.
895
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:56,209
Sir.
896
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,220
Bye, bye.
897
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,719
Thank you for sailing with us.
898
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:07,470
Bye, bye.
899
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:08,511
Hope you enjoyed your cruise.
900
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:11,764
Bye, come again soon.
901
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:15,727
We certainly enjoyed having you.
902
00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:16,019
[Laughter]
903
00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:56,178
[Theme music - "love boat"] B
904
00:48:56,228 --> 00:49:00,778
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