All language subtitles for Tender Touches s01e02 Bamboo Floors.eng

How you holding
in there, buddy?

-[Mumbling]
-What?

My entrails are like
a children's school vacation

and they're going
on a trip.

You don't look that bad,
to be honest.

-Oh, Mom!
-You do not look, uh...too bad.

That feels really nice to hear
from you, brother.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

**

Goddamn 2:00 p.m.
on a Tuesday afternoon

and this traffic
is like this.

This is the problem
with this city.

-Ahh-- hweuhh!
-That was a big bump.

What street
are we on? Ahh!

Are you taking Glonders?

Nah, I'm taking
the West Wound.

No, you wanna take
Glonders down to --

-I'm taking West Wound.
-Ahh!

Listen, I'm telling you,
you want a quicker way around.

This place has got
all the potho--

You see that? Ohh!
-God damn it!

Your car is too big
for this highway!

This is your car.

No, I'm talking to this
dude in front of me!

Ahh-- I can't tell.

Either go faster,
or slow down!

Charlene, could you
hold my head upright?

I keep knocking my head.
-Charlene, do not let him

get blood on my seats.

Well, there's this
little sippy cup...

Yeah, hang on!
Wup wup wup wup wup wup --

[ Steve joins in ]
Wup wup wup wup wup wup!

I almost hit that guy.

The only things back here
are fast-food napkins.

Hold up. Hold.
Shut. Wait.

Charlene, just shut your --
-I don't know anything --

Charlene.

I put my head really close
to your ear and I say:

Remember when we first started
having you cheat on Curtis

and like we made love
and you were always like,

"Wrap it up or I'm
gonna get pregnant?

**

I -- Wait, can you just
repeat the last thing?

What are you guys
talking about?

Remember when we first
started flubbin' under --

behind my brother's back
and I -- you said,

"Wrap it up,
or I'll get pregnant?"

[Panting]
-Uhh...

I'm sorr-- I honestly
can't understand a word --

I said, "Remember when we
first started

behind my brother's back
and you said,

'Wrap it up, or else
I'm gonna get pregnant'?"

Uh-- Yeah.

Who puts truck nuts
on a Dodge Shadow?

Our whole society
is just becoming

increasingly sexualized
in every aspect.

That's what it is?

This is a 1993 Dodge Shadow.

This car was made
in America.

Ahh!

Do remember Gwen Stefani?

Of course I do.

Can you sing me some
of Gwen Stefani

before I fall asleep?

Oh!

* Hush, little baby,
when you walk away *

* Close your eyes
-[joins in] * On Sunday

* Close your eyes on Sunday

* Hush, little baby,
when you walk away *

-* This is such a fun day
-[Mumbling]

* Talk to you
-Both: * On Monday

* And sleep through
the ni-i-i-ght *

**

* Sleep through
the ni-i-i-ght *

Thank you for throwing me
on this luxury gurney, guys.

And thank you so much,
Curtis, for um...

Whoa-oa! We can talk
about this afterwards

and maybe come to
an emotional family conclu--

Maybe we'll not be angry
at each other.

I'm not angry at you.

Why do you think I'm angry at --
-Well, but you-you're --

Well, you might -- you're the...

You did --
-Yeah, but I don't want you

to think that
I'm angry at you.

I l-- I...

love you.
-Well, love is a strong word,

but I use it
to describe you.

-I just --
-You guys want anything

from the, uh, hospital
vending machine?

-Churros.
-I'll take a coffee, I guess.

And I'm gonna get
a dipsy-doodle.

Oh, man, Steve,
do you believe

we did it again,
over women and...?

Why do we always fall
for the same girl?

[Sharp inhale, slurp]
-Well, [chuckles]

it's kinda you falling
for my wife. Uh...

I know. I feel like, every time
you fall in love with a girl,

I just feel like
I gotta one-up you

and shove it in her [bleep]
before you do.

Yeah, and...it's kinda
the way you phrase things

sometimes,
sorta does that --

-It turns people on.
-[Continues indistinctly]

And I am actually now
getting a little bit angry.

Uhh --
-I have a really long line

of phlegm and blood.
Could you pick it up?

Snack time!

-Oh!
-Snack time.

Snack time! Thank you
for this hot coffee.

Not -- not uh...admit
to eavesdropping,

but my butt was
mentioned.

Uh, I'm Dr. Bysmol.
How can I help you?

Uhh, doctor...th-- um...

-[Gasp]
-My, uh, brother

[chuckles nervously]
had an accident at home

and, as you could see, there's
two incisions in his eyes

and also a slight, uh,
laceration to his chest area.

Heh! "Thrincisions"!
[ Laughs ]

Just, if you could, um, take him
and just do your magic.

[laughing] Is this vitamins
they're putting in me?

That's just
some salty water.

-Um...
-Charlene, could I talk to you

for a minute?
-Uh, yeah, sure, Curtis.

[whispering]
I have to head out.

I actually --

The bank, uhh...

There's a new --
a young, uh,

first-time homebuyer couple
and they actually

are about to foreclose
on a home.

Is it okay if I go?

Will you be okay here?
-I know that you're

constantly heading out
for work purposes

-I -- Not the time
-and I would love --

-to bring that up. I have to
-Eughh!

-go.
-[Burps] Euhh!

I would just love to get
to know the doctor better.

Um...
-Uh...

I forgot you guys
were married.

Yeah. Clearly.

I shoved my --
you know, my f--

you know, my pud?

Steve, I know your pud.

No, I'm talking
to the doctor. Look,

I'm looking at the doctor
and I'm preten--

[chuckle]
I couldn't even tell.

I thought you were
looking at me.

-Hey, Doctor...
-Yeah?

Well, you can't tell
where he's looking.

-Shh! Shh.
-His line of sight is

-Okay!
-all messed up.

You sound short.

Yeah, I'm 5'3".

Um...

I have to go?

Okay, judging by the
severity of your wounds, um,

I don't think you--you're
ready for surgery just yet.

But...I can provide you
with a milk transfusion.

Milk has proteins in it
and uh...

it'll fill up the empty
spaces in your veins.

It sounds sort of, um,
like they're gonna

create, uh, a yogurt
culture within you

to help reformulate yourself.
-Charlene. Wait, Charlene.

Why are you pretending
you know anything?

[ Scraping ]
She's the doctor.

You should let her be
the one who's in charge

of discussing science.
-Okay, but --

But you're just like
coming in --

No!
I'm not acting smart.

I'm just trying to bond
with the doctor.

I did read something,
um, about yogurt

in Real Simpl magazine.

I don't know if she saw
that article

or if she subscribed
to that publication.

No, I don't.

I-I hope that you don't
start sweating milk.

Why? What the [bleep]
does that mean?

That's stupid.
-No, but it's -- it's --

You don't sweat blood.

Doctor, can you tell
him that's stupid?

-Yeah, that's really stupid.
-I mean her.

Curtis: All right,
and here's the bathroom.

Well...

-So...
-Can I use it really...?

Can I try it out?
-Anh.

Yeah, it's --
You know, if --

It's your home. Heh.
-All right.

-And I'm so happy to be
-[Zipper scrapes]

working with you and...
-Ugh.

definitely has --
hits a lot of, uh,

the items on your
wish list including,

Lilly, bamboo floors.

Ah.

[ Tropical music plays ]

I actually need
to get back. Um...

I don't like rushing
these things.

And neither do I,
and normally I would say,

"Let's not rush this,"
-Ugh.

but, unfortunately --
and, I'm not sure

exactly how other way
to say this, but --

my brother is in the
hospital right now.

-Oh.
-Oh.

Oh.

He uh, actually
got stabbed.

-Ew.
-Um, he got -- it's a stabbing.

-Oh, God.
-And I have to get back

to the hospital

-Ugghh!
-to be with him.

-Well.
-Enh.

But then I say, "Curtis?"
And he's gone

and I go, "Aww."

And I'm -- I say --
-[Speaks indistinctly]

Wait. I say, Charlene, I say,
"I'm so full of pink gas

and it might just be
the pink gas talking,

but I forgive you for stabbing
me in the eyes."

Andsay, "I know that,
when we signed off

on those forms about the
things that might happen

with the pink gas,
that you might have, uh,

a -- not just
a face blindness,

but also an emotional
blindness,

and I know that --"
-It's f-- chill.

Dude, it's chill, Charlene.

In the next life, maybe,
I'll love you, brother,

but, you know,
see in this life, you know?

You know that birds' tongues
have bones in them?

Can you just tell -- tell us
about birds for a while?

-Uhh...
-While I drift off?

Okay, well you know
that birds,

-85.
-they don't have, like --

They pee and poo
out of the same hole.

It's called a cloaka.
-[Clucking]

It's just like
an all-purpose hole.

-36.
-All the stuff comes

out of there,
including, like,

sexual,
ejaculatory fluids.

-33.
-Uh, birds also developed, uh,

lightweight beaks
because jawbones

were too heavy for flight,
so that they can --

they can get up in the air
much more easily that way.

That's why birds
don't have teeth.

Do you have your own bird?

Yeah, I got a --
I got a board.

[ Monitor beeping,
ventilator whooshing ]

Did you say a board?

I mean bird.

[ Alert beeps ]
Okay.

The great thing
about passing out

is that you can't hear
anyone anymore.

I've got a feeling
that I keep

falling in love
with people I hate.

When I was 6 years old,
I pushed my Curtis

down a hill.

He fell down,
jagged a rock

against his
upper-right forehead,

and now has
a long scar there.

Our father never forgave
the babysitters

who were supposed
to be watching us.

I still remember the sound
of Curtis's voice,

right as he hit that rock,
and a hollow, deep,

-* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-resonant tone

filled the valley
right outside

of our cliffside...

beach property.
He said...

It's okay; you can
sleep with my wife.

I was shaking his limp
little 4-year-old body

'cause I'm a 2-year-old
brother low-- older.

I'm 6 and he's 4,
in this dream.

What are you talking
about, Curtis?!

Charlene.

I don't mind.

What are you
talking about?!

You are limp as rag!"

Yeah, but I'll be
all right.

That's for you, bro.

Is it weird that I feel
like we love each other more

when we've been
in the same holes?"

We started out
in the same hole.

We're gonna
end in the same hole.

I wanna be in every
hole you've been.

Is that some
twisted song?

Yeah.

And then the babysitter
came over.

Oh, so you would...?
Okay, so this was...

You're 6!
-What?

You're 6 and 4,
respectively,

talking
about tight holes.

I'm sorry.
-It's fine.

-It's a dream.
-It's fine. It's a dream.

-Okay.
-You know how dreams

kinda merge and shift?
-Anything can happen in a dream.

Yeah.
Hey, Jackie.

-Hey.
-Can you get me some ice cream?

Uhh...

Not past 4:00 p.m.

Your blood sugar's already
high from lunch.

Wait, blood...

sugar...

Dairy?
What's in the ice cream?

Normally, ice cream's
made with cream.

And?

Sugar, milk.

Wait. Wait wait wait.
Wait wait wait.

And then it hit me
like a ton of bricks.

Fat bricks.

But they were full
of fat.

Rectangular cube sacks
of fat meat,

slappin' me in the face,
and I was going,

"Ohhhhhhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhh.

Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhhh."

Can we just do like
a pan-out where

everybody's just like
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

all at the same time?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhh!

And I strained so hard
and I saw the blurry whiteness

of my room outside
and I saw

two shadowy figures
and I couldn't get out!

[ Monitor beeping ]
Charlene, uhh...

I-I completed my part
of the murder pact

and I want you to do --

I want you
to return the favor.

Yes. Thank you.

Thank you
for poisoning my lover,

like the crooked MD
that you are.

Uh, Steve can't testify
in court against Curtis

and our marriage is safe

and I will commit
the murder you want.

The autopsy's gonna say
that it was a --

a uterus,
a uterine transplant

that went totally wrong.

But little do they know,
I'm the poison doctor.

Hehhaha!

[ Screeches ]

[ Laughing ]

Sorry.
-I'd like you to kill

my brother.

Uhh...

Okay.

**

Chris Michols:
* Are you tired of waiting

* While your body is failing

* And you're tired of dealing

* With pain

* That you know will not come

* To an end

* I really didn't think
it'd happen *

* To me, stay

* I never really thought
it'd happen *

**
[ Drumroll ]

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