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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: WEBVTT 00:06.000 --> 00:12.074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 00:51.218 --> 00:55.055 CATHLEEN: So many people settle for love that doesn't really ask 00:55.138 --> 00:59.101 anything of them, that they don't have to make any sacrifices for. 01:00.352 --> 01:01.645 I don't want that. 01:02.396 --> 01:05.857 I want an ideal love that I have to give everything to. 01:06.024 --> 01:08.652 (LATIN CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:37.139 --> 01:38.765 (CHURCH BELL TOLLING) 01:56.408 --> 01:57.784 REVEREND MOTHER: Where are you? 01:59.202 --> 02:00.829 Where are you? 02:06.585 --> 02:08.628 Why are you doing this? 02:08.961 --> 02:10.839 (PADDLE CLACKING) 02:17.804 --> 02:19.473 (PADDLE CONTINUES CLACKING) 02:27.606 --> 02:28.815 In the name of the Father... 02:33.987 --> 02:37.366 (CHANTING) Benedicamus Domino 02:42.162 --> 02:45.666 Benedicamus Domino 02:45.749 --> 02:47.584 Dear Christ. 02:50.003 --> 02:51.880 (LATIN CHORAL HYMN CONTINUES PLAYING) 02:53.173 --> 02:54.675 (CHURCH BELL TOLLING) 03:02.391 --> 03:03.809 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 03:30.210 --> 03:33.255 CATHLEEN: I was 17 years old when I came to the convent, 03:33.338 --> 03:35.549 18 when I entered the novitiate. 03:35.632 --> 03:36.967 (BELL TOLLING) 03:51.773 --> 03:54.109 (PRIEST SPEAKING LATIN) 04:01.825 --> 04:04.536 CATHLEEN: I know a lot of people could probably never understand... 04:10.375 --> 04:13.545 Never understand how someone so young 04:13.628 --> 04:15.964 with their entire life ahead of them 04:17.466 --> 04:19.676 would want to give it all away to God. 04:26.141 --> 04:29.519 They think of nuns today, and they see a bunch of old women. 04:29.603 --> 04:31.813 Women who couldn't find husbands, 04:31.897 --> 04:34.483 or for some reason, 04:34.566 --> 04:36.777 just couldn't make it in the outside world. 04:45.202 --> 04:48.455 So they ran off to a monastery to escape everything. 04:59.424 --> 05:03.345 What they don't understand is that beneath everything else... 05:17.067 --> 05:18.902 We were women in love. 05:20.570 --> 05:22.113 (WHISPERING) You're all I could ever want. 05:22.197 --> 05:22.489 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 05:22.489 --> 05:24.324 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 05:31.248 --> 05:34.042 (1950s COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 05:53.854 --> 05:55.689 NORA: You ready for this? 05:55.772 --> 05:57.941 Okay, you can come right out this way. 06:04.322 --> 06:05.532 (SIGHS) 06:08.285 --> 06:09.619 Is my hair all right? 06:11.538 --> 06:12.664 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 06:14.791 --> 06:16.251 Good morning, Father. 06:21.882 --> 06:23.508 (NORA SIGHS) 06:25.760 --> 06:29.264 Nora Harris? I can't believe it. Is it you? 06:29.347 --> 06:31.308 Hey, Rob, it sure is. How you been? 06:31.391 --> 06:34.019 I've been good. I've been real good. 06:34.102 --> 06:37.981 Now, wait a minute. Now don't tell me. Is this Cathleen? 06:38.690 --> 06:40.734 It sure is. Can you believe it? Look how big she got. 06:40.817 --> 06:43.403 My goodness. Hey, pretty lady. How are you? 06:43.486 --> 06:45.697 You know, you're not allowed to grow up that fast. 06:45.780 --> 06:46.990 (ROB LAUGHS) 06:47.157 --> 06:49.701 Soon, you'll be taller than me. (LAUGHING) 06:49.826 --> 06:52.162 I gotta say, Nora, I'm a little surprised to see you here. 06:52.245 --> 06:53.580 I've known you all my life, 06:53.663 --> 06:57.292 and I don't think I've ever seen you within 500 yards of a Sunday service. 06:57.500 --> 06:59.085 Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up. 06:59.169 --> 07:00.921 I'm not here to be saved or nothing like that. 07:01.004 --> 07:02.172 I just thought it about time 07:02.255 --> 07:04.966 that Cathleen learned what religion was about. 07:05.050 --> 07:07.761 - Or supposed to be about, you know. - Yeah. 07:07.844 --> 07:09.679 Plus, we were a little bored, weren't we? 07:09.763 --> 07:12.265 Well, hey, that's all right with me. I'm just glad you're here. 07:12.349 --> 07:13.808 - Let's get y'all a good seat. - All right. 07:13.892 --> 07:16.186 Come on in. Right there's two, right up front there. 07:16.269 --> 07:18.188 PRIEST: Blessed be God the Father. 07:18.271 --> 07:22.442 Because although you have not seen Him, you still love Him. 07:23.234 --> 07:25.946 Although you do not know Him, you still believe in Him. 07:27.030 --> 07:30.742 You feel His presence all around without knowing His name, 07:30.825 --> 07:35.080 and you rejoice with an indescribable ecstasy. 07:36.206 --> 07:37.999 Because if there's one thing we know, 07:38.667 --> 07:41.670 it's that God's love is unconditional. 07:45.882 --> 07:47.634 NORA: Put your napkin in your lap. 07:48.927 --> 07:50.261 Thank you. 07:56.559 --> 07:58.645 Did you like going to that church today? 07:58.728 --> 08:00.563 Yeah, I did. 08:00.647 --> 08:01.815 Yeah? 08:02.565 --> 08:04.526 What'd you like about it the most? 08:06.778 --> 08:07.862 I don't know. 08:08.196 --> 08:10.699 I guess I just thought it was peaceful. 08:12.242 --> 08:13.868 "Peaceful," huh? 08:15.996 --> 08:18.206 Yeah, I guess it was kind of peaceful. 08:18.289 --> 08:20.500 What kind of church was it, again? 08:21.167 --> 08:23.378 That was a Catholic church. 08:26.589 --> 08:27.924 - Are we Catholic? -(NORA LAUGHS) 08:28.842 --> 08:30.176 No, we're not anything. 08:30.260 --> 08:32.804 I don't really believe in religion, actually. 08:32.886 --> 08:35.222 I think it's kind of a waste of time. 08:35.974 --> 08:40.687 But when you're older, you can decide for yourself. 08:42.981 --> 08:45.442 (CAR APPROACHING) 08:46.776 --> 08:48.361 (CAR HORN HONKS) 08:49.112 --> 08:50.280 Mmm-mmm. 08:51.573 --> 08:53.116 Looks like Daddy's home. 09:00.915 --> 09:02.584 (DOOR OPENS) 09:03.835 --> 09:06.379 CHUCK: Hey, hey, hey, baby. 09:06.880 --> 09:10.341 How's Daddy's little girl? Huh? 09:10.717 --> 09:12.927 What'd you do today? Did you have a good day today? 09:13.011 --> 09:14.137 Daddy, where were you? 09:14.220 --> 09:15.805 We've been waiting for you for so long. 09:15.889 --> 09:18.475 Yeah, it's a valid question, Chuck. Where you been? 09:18.558 --> 09:20.143 I was out. That's all. 09:20.226 --> 09:24.939 Okay. 'Cause we've been sitting here all day, waiting on you. 09:25.023 --> 09:26.649 You never heard of a phone or... 09:26.733 --> 09:29.152 Come on, Nora, please. Of course I've heard of a phone. 09:29.235 --> 09:32.363 Well, that's good. You've heard of a phone. That's nice. 09:33.615 --> 09:34.949 What do you want me to say, Nora? 09:35.200 --> 09:38.369 Is there anything in particular that you'd like to hear me say? 09:38.453 --> 09:39.496 I don't know, Chuck. 09:39.579 --> 09:42.332 Maybe I'd just like you to be a man every once in a while, you know? 09:42.415 --> 09:44.167 Be a fucking father for a change, 09:44.250 --> 09:46.211 maybe learn to sacrifice a little bit. 09:46.294 --> 09:49.631 Give me a break, okay? Are you serious with that? 09:49.714 --> 09:52.300 What, you want me to drop it, Chuck? Is that what you want? 09:52.383 --> 09:53.635 - Yeah! - Well, fuck you! 09:53.718 --> 09:56.805 Fuck me? Fuck you, Nora! 09:56.888 --> 09:59.307 As a matter of fact, fuck all this shit! 09:59.390 --> 10:00.475 I'm sick of this! 10:00.558 --> 10:03.186 I'm sorry that I can't be the person you want me to be! 10:03.269 --> 10:05.146 No, you can't be the man I wanted you to be. 10:05.230 --> 10:07.065 - You are the opposite of that! - Okay. All right. 10:07.148 --> 10:10.610 I was out! That's all! You can't handle that, I'm gone! 10:10.693 --> 10:11.986 Where do you think you're going, Chuck? 10:12.070 --> 10:13.071 You're not leaving! 10:13.154 --> 10:15.406 You got a little girl now! Hear me? 10:15.490 --> 10:18.535 - If you leave, you get out! - Well, fuck you! 10:18.660 --> 10:21.079 (TRAINS WHISTLE BLOWING) 10:27.919 --> 10:29.838 NORA: Honey, will you take this for me? 10:30.880 --> 10:32.048 You got it? 10:36.136 --> 10:37.762 Excuse me? 10:37.846 --> 10:39.180 Can I help you? 10:39.848 --> 10:41.683 Yes. Are you Mrs. Harris? 10:42.225 --> 10:44.561 - Yes. - My name is Sister Gloria. 10:44.644 --> 10:46.437 This is Sister Eleanor. 10:46.521 --> 10:48.523 We're from Our Lady of Blessed Sorrows, 10:48.606 --> 10:50.942 the parochial school just up the road. 10:51.901 --> 10:57.073 We are very proud to say that it is the nuns, Sisters like us, 10:57.157 --> 11:00.410 who have built the Catholic school system in this country, 11:00.493 --> 11:02.036 brick by brick. 11:02.370 --> 11:05.206 GLORIA: Your little one is so lovely, by the way. 11:05.290 --> 11:07.000 May I ask how old? 11:07.792 --> 11:09.002 Cathleen is 12. 11:10.295 --> 11:13.173 Look, we appreciate your coming by, 11:13.256 --> 11:16.634 but the truth is, we're not all that religious. 11:17.051 --> 11:19.596 I mean, we go to church when we can, like everybody else. 11:19.679 --> 11:22.140 But my husband, Cathleen's father, 11:22.223 --> 11:25.685 he left us a while back, so it's just me taking care of us. 11:25.768 --> 11:28.188 Sorry to hear that, Mrs. Harris. 11:28.605 --> 11:30.440 God cherishes your strength. 11:30.523 --> 11:32.483 But one thing you should know, 11:32.567 --> 11:34.903 our doors are open to everyone, 11:34.986 --> 11:37.572 practicing, non-practicing alike. 11:37.655 --> 11:42.076 Our first priority is just to provide an exceptional education. 11:44.037 --> 11:47.290 Well, how much does it cost? I don't know if we can afford this school. 11:47.373 --> 11:49.083 Well, that's just it. 11:49.167 --> 11:52.003 Right now, we're offering full scholarships 11:52.587 --> 11:54.255 on a first-come basis. 11:54.339 --> 11:56.257 -(GIRLS CHATTERING) - TEACHER: Silence, girls. 11:56.341 --> 11:57.842 Silence. 11:59.886 --> 12:02.555 How many in this room were baptized Catholic? 12:04.682 --> 12:08.853 Don't worry, this is not a judgment on anybody's background or belief. 12:08.937 --> 12:12.482 No, the reason I ask the question 12:12.941 --> 12:16.319 is because I wonder if any of you know 12:16.402 --> 12:19.948 what the difference is between the Catholic religion 12:20.031 --> 12:21.574 and all the other religions. 12:21.658 --> 12:25.870 Say like, the Protestants, the Baptists, the Jews? 12:27.872 --> 12:29.207 Love 12:30.583 --> 12:34.170 and sacrifice. 12:35.880 --> 12:37.924 Love and sacrifice. 12:38.925 --> 12:42.303 Because if there's one thing I know for certain, 12:42.387 --> 12:45.473 there can be no love 12:45.765 --> 12:48.184 without sacrifice. 12:49.018 --> 12:51.729 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 12:57.860 --> 12:58.945 MARGARET: Hi, there. 12:59.320 --> 13:01.322 How come you're sitting all alone? 13:01.698 --> 13:04.284 You don't wanna join the others? 13:06.494 --> 13:08.705 They're all talking about their boyfriends. 13:10.331 --> 13:12.292 I don't have a boyfriend. 13:12.375 --> 13:13.751 Oh, no? 13:14.669 --> 13:15.837 Me, neither. 13:16.045 --> 13:17.964 I'm told they're overrated. 13:18.131 --> 13:19.716 Mind if I join you? 13:23.094 --> 13:26.556 I'm Sister Margaret, by the way. You're Cathleen, right? 13:27.265 --> 13:30.435 I haven't had you in my class yet, but I've noticed you 13:30.518 --> 13:32.562 because you're shy, like me. 13:32.854 --> 13:37.191 You seem to like to be by yourself a lot, to think a lot? 13:37.275 --> 13:39.027 I guess so. 13:39.110 --> 13:42.113 I like to be by myself and think a lot, too. 13:42.822 --> 13:44.365 - You do? - Mmm-hmm. 13:44.449 --> 13:46.200 What do you like to think about? 13:46.284 --> 13:48.036 Mostly about God. 13:53.833 --> 13:55.293 Can I show you something? 13:57.295 --> 13:58.463 You see that light in there? 14:00.089 --> 14:02.133 That's His light. 14:02.759 --> 14:07.555 And the statue to the side, the Savior, of course, Jesus Christ. 14:09.349 --> 14:11.351 Here, you wanna sit down for a sec? 14:17.482 --> 14:18.691 Go ahead. 14:22.945 --> 14:25.406 Just because someone likes to be alone 14:25.865 --> 14:28.242 doesn't mean they don't still crave intimacy. 14:31.162 --> 14:35.500 You really think God and Jesus are real? 14:35.583 --> 14:38.920 Of course I do. I more than do. 14:39.003 --> 14:41.339 'Cause I'm married to them, silly. 14:42.965 --> 14:46.260 Didn't you know? All nuns are brides of Christ. 14:47.428 --> 14:48.513 But why? 14:48.846 --> 14:51.307 I bet you could have married anyone you wanted to. 14:51.933 --> 14:52.934 Oh... 14:53.017 --> 14:56.687 Well, I'm... I'm not so sure about that. 14:58.022 --> 14:59.273 And either way, 14:59.357 --> 15:03.569 I doubt any other relationship would have been quite as fulfilling. 15:04.570 --> 15:05.947 (BELL TOLLING) 15:06.030 --> 15:08.491 (GASPS) Oh, I gotta go. I've got class. 15:15.039 --> 15:16.207 Are you coming? 15:16.290 --> 15:21.421 I think I'll stay for a little while, if that's okay with you, Sister. 15:22.255 --> 15:23.548 Of course. 15:49.365 --> 15:50.825 MISS WILLIAMS: Good night, Cathleen. 15:50.908 --> 15:52.493 Good night, Miss Williams. 16:05.798 --> 16:06.841 Hi. 16:08.384 --> 16:10.595 (CAR ENGINE STARTING) 16:11.679 --> 16:12.763 CATHLEEN: Who is he? 16:15.516 --> 16:17.977 He's just a friend of mine, that's all. 16:18.561 --> 16:19.812 Another one? 16:22.607 --> 16:24.650 What are you doing up so early, anyway? 16:25.067 --> 16:27.820 I set my alarm so I can go to Mass before school. 16:28.279 --> 16:31.073 Oh. Okay. 16:33.326 --> 16:34.619 You need a ride? 16:35.328 --> 16:36.329 That's okay. 16:40.917 --> 16:42.126 Hey, Cathleen? 16:44.795 --> 16:49.300 You're not getting too into God and all that stuff, are you? 16:51.344 --> 16:52.470 What do you mean? 16:52.887 --> 16:56.891 I just mean there's more to life than God and church and praying. 17:56.075 --> 17:57.994 (BELL TOLLING) 18:04.166 --> 18:06.002 You're serious, Cathleen? 18:06.586 --> 18:07.920 (LAUGHS) 18:08.462 --> 18:11.966 I honestly didn't even realize you'd been considering this. 18:12.550 --> 18:14.885 I want to give my life to God. 18:16.178 --> 18:18.389 You're such a passionate girl. 18:18.472 --> 18:20.641 You remind me of myself at your age. 18:21.225 --> 18:23.644 I think you're making the right decision. 18:23.728 --> 18:26.397 A nun? What are you talking about? 18:26.480 --> 18:28.399 That's just fucking crazy, Cathleen. 18:28.482 --> 18:29.567 I knew you wouldn't understand, 18:29.650 --> 18:31.110 but you don't have to understand. I didn't... 18:31.193 --> 18:32.320 It's not that I don't understand, 18:32.403 --> 18:35.072 it's just that it's the stupidest idea I've ever heard! 18:35.323 --> 18:37.116 You throw your life away in some convent... 18:37.199 --> 18:38.409 But I'm not throwing my life away. 18:38.492 --> 18:39.910 I don't know how you can even say that... 18:39.994 --> 18:41.370 You're absolutely throwing your life away! 18:41.454 --> 18:42.747 Well, I don't get it. 18:43.289 --> 18:44.332 Do you think I wanted this? 18:44.415 --> 18:45.875 Do you think I wanted to be a single mother? 18:45.958 --> 18:47.793 But it's not about that. It has nothing to do with you. 18:47.877 --> 18:48.878 Then what is it? 18:48.961 --> 18:51.339 - I'm in love, Mom! - You're in love with who? 18:51.422 --> 18:52.757 (SIGHS) 18:53.174 --> 18:54.759 What? 18:57.845 --> 18:59.138 God? 19:00.056 --> 19:03.059 Oh, my God, that's crazy! That is fucking crazy! 19:03.142 --> 19:06.312 That doesn't even make sense, "in love with God." 19:07.563 --> 19:09.607 I don't know how to explain this, 19:11.025 --> 19:12.943 but I was called, and I'm gonna become a nun. 19:13.027 --> 19:14.445 And there's really nothing that you can say 19:14.528 --> 19:16.113 that's gonna make me change my mind. 19:16.489 --> 19:17.698 (SIGHS) 19:19.450 --> 19:20.951 Oh, Cathleen. 19:23.162 --> 19:25.039 You're a 17-year-old girl. 19:26.415 --> 19:28.501 You don't know anything about religion. 19:29.669 --> 19:32.380 And you sure as hell don't know anything about love. 19:47.311 --> 19:48.771 REVEREND MOTHER: Where are you? 19:51.982 --> 19:53.567 It's not right. 19:56.112 --> 19:57.697 It's not fair. 19:59.365 --> 20:01.534 Someone gives you their whole life... 20:03.828 --> 20:05.246 Where are you? 20:06.914 --> 20:08.541 (BELL TOLLING) 20:08.874 --> 20:11.335 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 20:16.215 --> 20:18.551 -(GIRLS CHATTERING) {SHUSHES) 20:27.393 --> 20:29.395 (BELL TOLLING) 20:37.653 --> 20:39.321 Good afternoon, all of you. 20:39.405 --> 20:42.783 My name is Reverend Mother Marie St. Clair. 20:42.867 --> 20:47.747 You can call me "Reverend Mother," or simply "Mother," if you prefer it. 20:48.497 --> 20:51.041 I am the Mother Superior, or Abbess 20:51.125 --> 20:55.379 of this particular order of Sisters of Beloved Rose. 20:56.046 --> 20:59.467 I myself have been a Rose for nearly 40 years. 21:00.050 --> 21:02.887 Meaning, some 40 years ago, 21:03.053 --> 21:05.306 I first came through those gates as a postulant, 21:05.389 --> 21:07.057 same as all of you. 21:07.892 --> 21:10.936 And now, 40 years later, 21:11.353 --> 21:15.149 I have not once set foot outside those gates. 21:16.233 --> 21:19.069 So, as far as all of you are concerned, 21:19.153 --> 21:21.947 you might consider me like the voice of God around here. 21:22.823 --> 21:24.992 Meaning, since unfortunately 21:25.075 --> 21:28.162 God can't be here to run this convent Himself, 21:28.245 --> 21:32.374 my voice will serve as a stand-in for His. 21:32.500 --> 21:36.003 And you can expect that whenever you hear me speak, 21:36.086 --> 21:38.964 it is on behalf of His wishes. 21:40.007 --> 21:41.342 And over the next two years, 21:41.425 --> 21:45.262 I personally will be separating the wheat from the chaff, 21:45.429 --> 21:49.141 determining which of you actually belong, 21:49.391 --> 21:50.768 as opposed to which of you 21:50.851 --> 21:54.563 are simply victims of a childish imagination. 21:55.147 --> 22:00.444 Because in this monastery, God is not a fantasy to us. 22:01.111 --> 22:04.198 Not a fantasy, not a daydream, 22:04.990 --> 22:07.660 and certainly not your invisible best friend. 22:08.869 --> 22:12.540 To the contrary, God is work. Hard work. 22:12.998 --> 22:16.961 The work of a very special kind of love, 22:17.044 --> 22:18.838 which you'll all be trained in. 22:19.755 --> 22:23.175 You'll be spending the next six months as postulants. 22:24.260 --> 22:26.846 After that, and for those of you who make it, 22:26.929 --> 22:30.558 you'll take your very first vows and enter the novitiate. 22:31.267 --> 22:35.145 And as a rule, we make it a point to never discuss the novitiate 22:35.229 --> 22:37.857 until we've been through it ourselves. 22:38.023 --> 22:41.569 So for now, you'll just have to wait. 22:42.778 --> 22:46.240 Finally, I'd like to talk about silence. 22:46.824 --> 22:49.660 We observe two kinds of silence here, 22:49.743 --> 22:53.789 regular silence and grand silence. 22:53.873 --> 22:55.291 During regular silence, 22:55.374 --> 22:58.335 if you feel you have the need to speak, it's permissible. 22:58.836 --> 23:01.714 But when you hear that bell at 9:00 at night, 23:01.797 --> 23:04.800 signifying the beginning of grand silence, 23:04.884 --> 23:09.179 that means you don't talk. 23:10.306 --> 23:11.682 Any questions? 23:13.767 --> 23:16.604 Put your hand down, Sister. Postulants don't have questions. 23:16.687 --> 23:18.772 And you are free to go home. 23:21.066 --> 23:24.486 -(CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) -(PADDLE CLACKING) 23:30.659 --> 23:32.411 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 23:37.625 --> 23:38.709 (YAWNS) 23:48.385 --> 23:52.097 (BELL TOLLING) 24:30.928 --> 24:33.847 (PRIEST SPEAKING LATIN) 24:47.903 --> 24:49.279 Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord. 24:49.363 --> 24:50.739 Now and forever. God bless. 24:51.740 --> 24:54.618 - Praise the Lord. - Now and forever. God bless. 24:55.077 --> 24:56.662 Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord. 24:56.745 --> 24:58.706 Now and forever. God bless, Sister. 25:05.671 --> 25:09.633 Totally love Him, who gave Himself totally for your love. 25:10.551 --> 25:13.637 He, Christ, is the splendor of eternal glory, 25:13.887 --> 25:17.975 the brightness of eternal light and the mirror without cloud. 25:25.065 --> 25:27.735 MARY GRACE: I haven't had the chance to formally introduce myself yet. 25:27.818 --> 25:29.653 I'm Sister Mary Grace. 25:29.737 --> 25:32.489 I will be your postulant mistress for the next six months, 25:32.573 --> 25:35.159 perhaps your novice mistress after that. 25:35.367 --> 25:37.161 This is Sister Anne. 25:38.078 --> 25:40.289 Sister Catherine, Kate. 25:40.372 --> 25:43.751 Both professed nuns. Both just took their final vows. 25:44.126 --> 25:45.627 We're very proud of them. 25:45.711 --> 25:50.507 Now, it is our job to help guide you as you try to adapt to our way of life. 25:50.591 --> 25:54.011 I'm sure at the beginning, it will feel very different. 25:54.094 --> 25:55.429 That's normal. 25:55.846 --> 26:00.559 I remember when I first came here, everything seemed so strange. 26:00.642 --> 26:03.520 I didn't know if I'd ever truly make it as a nun. 26:03.604 --> 26:05.564 Please don't worry about that. 26:05.647 --> 26:07.316 I'm sure you all will be great. 26:08.192 --> 26:11.028 Now, we should probably go over the schedule. 26:11.695 --> 26:15.532 Postulants usually have the same schedule every single day. 26:15.616 --> 26:18.702 The most important thing to pay attention to is the bell. 26:19.078 --> 26:21.955 Pretty much everything we do here, all day long, 26:22.039 --> 26:23.415 all comes down to the bell. 26:24.333 --> 26:26.585 (BELL TOLLING) 26:27.211 --> 26:31.090 MARY GRACE: The first bell you'll hear each morning is the 5:00 a.m. bell. 26:31.173 --> 26:32.466 (PRAYING) 26:32.549 --> 26:34.134 That bell lets everyone know 26:34.218 --> 26:37.429 it's time to wake up, get ready for morning Mass. 26:47.314 --> 26:50.025 Mass begins once Father Luca arrives. 26:50.109 --> 26:53.320 Father Luca always keeps his back to us the whole time, 26:53.403 --> 26:56.115 and he always reads the liturgy in Latin. 26:56.198 --> 26:57.950 Sometimes it's hard to keep up. 26:58.033 --> 26:59.743 (BELL TOLLING) 26:59.827 --> 27:01.078 After daily chores, 27:01.161 --> 27:03.413 you'll hear the third bell of the morning. 27:03.497 --> 27:06.583 That lets us know that grand silence is over. 27:07.501 --> 27:09.878 Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord. 27:11.964 --> 27:13.549 REVEREND MOTHER: Now and forever. God bless. 27:13.632 --> 27:16.051 NUN: Good afternoon, Mother. Praise the Lord. 27:17.761 --> 27:21.890 MARY GRACE: As you probably noticed, all our meals begin with a reading. 27:21.974 --> 27:23.725 Even though it's after grand silence, 27:23.809 --> 27:27.187 we should all try and remain as quiet as possible. 27:28.063 --> 27:29.773 Sometimes you might see some of the novices 27:29.857 --> 27:32.568 doing their own penances in the refectory. 27:32.985 --> 27:36.572 Probably best to just ignore it until you're novices yourselves. 27:37.656 --> 27:39.575 (BELL TOLLS) 27:39.658 --> 27:43.579 Every day after the 3:00 p.m. bell, we'll have our lessons together. 27:43.954 --> 27:47.958 As you probably remember, Reverend Mother made it absolutely clear 27:48.041 --> 27:51.253 that we are not to speak during grand silence, 27:51.628 --> 27:54.214 so let's practice a little bit of sign language. 27:54.298 --> 27:56.091 Slowly, that is, "What... 27:59.011 --> 28:00.012 "Job... 28:03.807 --> 28:05.100 "Right now?" 28:06.435 --> 28:08.103 (POSTULANTS LAUGHING AND SQUEALING) 28:19.406 --> 28:22.117 (PRAYING) 28:27.748 --> 28:29.541 (BELL TOLLING) 28:36.298 --> 28:37.382 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 28:37.716 --> 28:39.092 (DOOR OPENING) 28:39.801 --> 28:40.886 NUN: Sorry to interrupt, Mother, 28:40.969 --> 28:43.639 but you just got another package from the Archdiocese. 28:44.014 --> 28:45.015 What? 28:47.476 --> 28:48.518 (SIGHS) 28:59.071 --> 29:00.656 They can't be serious. 29:03.492 --> 29:05.077 Thank you, Sister. 29:07.746 --> 29:09.039 (DOOR CLOSES) 29:09.998 --> 29:12.167 What are they asking of us? 29:18.674 --> 29:23.679 My mother always said at least one child should be sacrificed. 29:24.221 --> 29:26.890 And even though I come from a big family, 29:26.974 --> 29:29.643 I'm the only girl with five brothers, 29:29.726 --> 29:35.190 so I guess it was pretty obvious who was going to become a nun. 29:35.691 --> 29:38.568 Honestly, though, I'm really happy to be here. 29:38.652 --> 29:42.239 And I know that it's supposed to be so hard, 29:42.322 --> 29:46.285 but I really can't wait until we get to novitiate 29:46.368 --> 29:48.745 and we get to wear those white veils. 29:50.289 --> 29:51.456 MARY GRACE: Who wants to go next? 29:54.459 --> 29:58.505 Well, as for me, I have two cousins, 29:58.588 --> 30:02.926 an aunt and one older sister who joined the Sisterhood. 30:03.010 --> 30:07.264 So, I guess, in a way, it's kind of in my blood. 30:07.973 --> 30:11.601 And who knows, maybe one day I'll die young and become a saint. 30:11.727 --> 30:13.186 (ALL LAUGH) 30:14.271 --> 30:15.439 Thank you, Sister Emily. 30:17.941 --> 30:21.695 Sister Cathleen, did you always know that you wanted to be a nun? 30:24.489 --> 30:27.200 No, actually, I wasn't raised in the Church, so... 30:27.784 --> 30:30.287 What do you mean, you weren't raised in the Church? 30:30.370 --> 30:31.496 Aren't you Catholic? 30:31.580 --> 30:35.959 I guess I'm not Catholic in the same way that you guys are. 30:36.043 --> 30:37.794 Well, what are you even doing here, then? 30:37.878 --> 30:39.588 - I mean, is this even allowed? -(ALL PROTESTING) 30:39.671 --> 30:41.923 Sister Candace, please. Ladies. 30:43.467 --> 30:44.718 I went to Catholic school. 30:45.135 --> 30:46.845 That's where I learned about the Sisters. 30:47.137 --> 30:50.891 I just thought it seemed like the most beautiful idea, 30:52.184 --> 30:54.853 to be able to spend my entire life devoted to love. 30:57.606 --> 30:59.232 REVEREND MOTHER: Tell me about the new postulants. 30:59.524 --> 31:01.443 MARY GRACE: I'm so impressed with them as a group. 31:01.526 --> 31:04.488 They're full of energy and enthusiasm, 31:04.571 --> 31:07.532 really passionate about finding their own relationships with Christ. 31:14.456 --> 31:15.791 What is this you're reading? 31:15.874 --> 31:20.796 This is something to do with this Vatican ll. 31:22.214 --> 31:23.757 Vatican what? 31:26.718 --> 31:28.220 From what I can make out, 31:28.303 --> 31:30.806 our Pope has suddenly got it into his head 31:30.889 --> 31:33.683 to turn himself into some sort of reformer. 31:33.767 --> 31:35.268 Meaning what, exactly? 31:35.352 --> 31:38.438 Meaning he's organized some ridiculous new council in Rome 31:38.522 --> 31:41.108 to speak about changes to the Church. 31:41.191 --> 31:43.527 Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? 31:44.277 --> 31:47.406 The Church hasn't reviewed its practices in over 100 years. 31:47.489 --> 31:48.490 Perhaps change is... 31:48.573 --> 31:50.075 You think the Church is in need of change? 31:51.034 --> 31:52.661 Are you questioning me? 31:53.286 --> 31:55.956 I happen to think the Church is perfect the way it is. 31:56.164 --> 31:58.333 Well, what reforms are they talking about? 31:58.417 --> 32:00.794 - Can I see? - It's not important. 32:01.420 --> 32:03.046 This will all blow over very soon. 32:03.130 --> 32:05.215 It's nothing to concern yourself with. 32:05.632 --> 32:08.093 ANNE: Pay attention. I'm going to show you how we walk. 32:08.176 --> 32:10.637 It's called "custody of the eyes." 32:10.720 --> 32:13.265 You put your hands in your sleeve like this. 32:13.723 --> 32:17.519 Always go slowly, gracefully, never in a hurry. 32:17.602 --> 32:20.522 And most important is you keep your eyes down. 32:20.605 --> 32:21.940 Always make sure you're looking 32:22.023 --> 32:24.109 straight ahead at the floor in front of you. 32:24.192 --> 32:25.277 Why? 32:25.360 --> 32:26.570 Excuse me? 32:27.320 --> 32:28.864 Why do we have to walk like that? 32:28.947 --> 32:30.740 I mean, what if we can't see where we're going? 32:30.824 --> 32:31.825 (POSTULANTS LAUGHING) 32:31.950 --> 32:32.951 (ANNE SHUSHES) 32:33.660 --> 32:35.370 Not that it's your place to question anything, 32:35.454 --> 32:36.913 but it's a part of our discipline. 32:36.997 --> 32:38.248 We keep our eyes down 32:38.331 --> 32:40.292 so we don't allow in any extra stimulation 32:40.375 --> 32:42.169 that might distract us from our Lord. 32:42.419 --> 32:44.004 (BOTH SNICKERING) 32:44.087 --> 32:45.964 Something funny, Sisters? 32:46.548 --> 32:47.674 You two, come here. 32:48.508 --> 32:49.509 Come on. 32:52.262 --> 32:53.597 Stand face-to-face. 32:55.348 --> 32:57.851 Now, both of you look at each other in the eyes. 33:15.619 --> 33:19.331 - What just happened? - I started thinking about her. 33:20.999 --> 33:23.251 Yeah, I started thinking about her, too. 33:23.335 --> 33:26.463 ANNE: Exactly. We're not supposed to think about each other. 33:26.546 --> 33:30.175 Because we're not here for each other, we are here only for God. 33:31.134 --> 33:32.344 Move on, Sisters. 33:36.932 --> 33:38.350 CATHLEEN: I love you, God. 33:47.234 --> 33:48.985 Thank you for letting me be here. 33:51.238 --> 33:53.573 Thank you for letting me love you like this. 33:57.661 --> 34:00.413 Thank you for letting me feel you so close to me. 34:01.039 --> 34:02.415 Thank you. 34:07.921 --> 34:09.464 I love you, God. 34:13.051 --> 34:14.636 I love you so much. 34:14.969 --> 34:16.054 NORA: Wow. 34:16.972 --> 34:20.475 This is the first time I've seen you in your outfit. 34:21.184 --> 34:22.226 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 34:24.062 --> 34:25.397 Do you like it? 34:26.188 --> 34:28.900 - You look like a real nun. - Thanks. 34:29.818 --> 34:32.487 I'm not a real nun yet. Not yet, but... 34:34.114 --> 34:35.489 What is with this thing? 34:35.574 --> 34:38.994 This is terrible. It's like prison. 34:39.077 --> 34:41.288 Yeah, it's just the way they do it. 34:41.371 --> 34:44.583 It's like a symbol of our enclosure. 34:45.041 --> 34:46.251 What the... 34:47.960 --> 34:49.462 - What does that mean? -(BOTH LAUGH) 34:51.255 --> 34:52.257 It's nothing. 34:54.634 --> 34:56.469 So, how are you? 34:57.137 --> 35:00.682 Are you... You like it here? Are you happy? 35:00.765 --> 35:02.142 Yeah. 35:02.809 --> 35:04.311 Yeah, I am. 35:06.062 --> 35:10.859 I don't know how to describe it, but it feels like I belong here. 35:13.987 --> 35:18.408 I guess that means you plan on staying, and you plan on taking those vows. 35:18.491 --> 35:20.577 What do they call it, the "novanate"? 35:20.660 --> 35:23.413 - Novitiate. -"Novitiate." Nova-something? 35:23.496 --> 35:24.914 (BOTH LAUGHING) 35:25.373 --> 35:29.711 Yeah, it's just a temporary vow that we take for a year and a half. 35:29.794 --> 35:32.005 And we find out 35:32.088 --> 35:36.551 if we're ready to marry God forever. 35:39.679 --> 35:42.974 I'm pretty sure I'm going to be here my whole life. 35:44.601 --> 35:48.605 (CRYING) Jesus Christ, Cathleen, what the hell did I do wrong? 35:52.400 --> 35:53.443 (SIGHS) 35:55.195 --> 35:56.196 How... 35:57.656 --> 35:58.823 How have you been? 36:01.618 --> 36:02.911 Well, I'm just fine. 36:03.870 --> 36:07.040 I picked up a few more shifts at work, keeping myself busy. 36:07.123 --> 36:09.793 I don't really know what to do with myself. 36:11.127 --> 36:15.382 'Cause I most... I... I mostly just miss you so much. 36:16.966 --> 36:19.552 How about Dad? How's Dad? 36:20.303 --> 36:22.806 - Have you heard anything from Dad? - Your father? No. 36:23.515 --> 36:27.727 Your grandma did call and said he'd been sick or something. 36:27.811 --> 36:29.813 That's probably why you haven't heard from him. 36:29.896 --> 36:32.273 But do you want me to track him down? I'm sure he'd love to come see you. 36:32.357 --> 36:36.277 That's okay, don't bother. I'll pray for him. 36:37.320 --> 36:38.988 (SIGHS) It's fine. 36:39.948 --> 36:42.033 But it's like a... It's a really busy day here. 36:42.117 --> 36:44.202 I should get going. 36:44.285 --> 36:48.123 What? No. We have ten more minutes. 36:48.206 --> 36:51.918 - I know, but I just have a lot of work. - What are you doing? 36:52.001 --> 36:54.003 Maybe we can spend more time together next time, though. 36:54.087 --> 36:58.591 Okay. Well, can you just wait? Wait, wait, wait. Wait one second? 36:59.300 --> 37:00.719 Um... (SNIFFLES) 37:01.469 --> 37:04.681 Maybe I could just touch your hand for a second. 37:05.807 --> 37:07.058 Um... 37:07.475 --> 37:09.185 - Just for a second. - Yeah... 37:09.811 --> 37:11.855 We're really not supposed to touch like that, Mom, so... 37:11.938 --> 37:13.815 - Oh. Okay. - I gotta go. 37:14.607 --> 37:17.402 Okay. Cathleen, I love you. 37:18.236 --> 37:19.612 Thank you for coming. 37:21.531 --> 37:22.741 (CRYING) Oh, God. 37:36.463 --> 37:40.967 I guess I just didn't really know it was going to be like this. 37:41.050 --> 37:42.135 Like what? 37:42.218 --> 37:46.389 That we'll be spending our whole entire lives here and never leaving. 37:46.473 --> 37:49.017 We won't even be able to go to our own parents' funerals. 37:49.100 --> 37:52.353 Who cares? They'll be dead, anyway. It's not like they'll notice. 37:53.730 --> 37:58.651 Besides, don't you think knowing God knows we're here for Him, 37:58.735 --> 38:03.156 knowing we are so much more special to Him than anybody else... 38:03.823 --> 38:06.201 Don't you think that makes it all worth it? 38:08.661 --> 38:09.871 Yeah, I guess. 38:10.497 --> 38:13.041 Well, why did you come here, then? 38:14.584 --> 38:15.960 Audrey Hepburn. 38:16.753 --> 38:17.921 (CAN DACE LAUGHS) 38:18.004 --> 38:19.672 What are you talking about? 38:20.340 --> 38:21.674 Audrey Hepburn. 38:22.926 --> 38:25.678 I wanted to be a nun 38:25.762 --> 38:31.226 because I saw A Nun's Story, and she's Sister Gabrielle. 38:32.352 --> 38:33.603 And I just thought 38:33.686 --> 38:38.733 she was so holy and beautiful and perfect. 38:39.859 --> 38:41.402 (BOTH LAUGHING) 38:41.528 --> 38:44.489 I wanted to be like her. Don't laugh at me. 38:44.572 --> 38:47.200 That's not very holy. 38:48.284 --> 38:49.661 I won't tell anybody. 38:50.370 --> 38:52.080 MARY GRACE: This was a mistake. 38:53.706 --> 38:55.375 I was too young for it. 39:00.296 --> 39:03.091 I didn't ever mean to disappoint you. 39:08.429 --> 39:11.099 I just don't know if I feel it, you know? 39:13.309 --> 39:14.394 Feel what? 39:17.689 --> 39:21.359 My relationship with Him. 39:22.569 --> 39:24.863 Whatever we're supposed to feel. 39:28.950 --> 39:32.954 I can't tell if I'm communicating with Him, 39:33.955 --> 39:37.667 and it's really Him or if it's just all in my head. 39:41.212 --> 39:45.174 Reverend Mother says we can't fake 39:45.425 --> 39:47.260 our relationship with Him. 39:48.720 --> 39:50.346 Because if... 39:50.430 --> 39:54.976 Even if nobody else knows, He'll know and He'll shun us for it. 39:57.103 --> 40:00.857 But I'm just worried, what if I'm faking it, 40:01.691 --> 40:03.568 and I don't even realize? 40:07.572 --> 40:11.034 (PRIEST SPEAKING LATIN) 40:29.052 --> 40:30.553 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 41:29.570 --> 41:32.031 No, I have them right here in front of me. I... 41:38.621 --> 41:41.040 It's not that I wasn't going to respond. I... 41:42.959 --> 41:45.211 Of course I understand the historic... 41:50.341 --> 41:52.051 And also with you. 41:52.969 --> 41:55.847 (BELL TOLLING) 42:05.565 --> 42:08.192 (BELL CONTINUES TOLLING) 42:22.457 --> 42:23.458 Good morning, Reverend Mother. 42:23.541 --> 42:25.043 - Praise the Lord. - Now and forever. 42:25.918 --> 42:27.795 Did you just speak? 42:29.172 --> 42:31.007 Did I just hear you speak? 42:36.304 --> 42:39.265 What's your name? 42:41.517 --> 42:42.643 I'm Sister Sissy. 42:42.727 --> 42:44.145 Sister Sissy? 42:45.229 --> 42:47.648 Well, Sister Sissy... 42:49.442 --> 42:52.111 Why don't you tell me what you've been doing lately, 42:52.195 --> 42:55.073 besides getting fat, being late for Mass, 42:55.823 --> 42:58.493 and talking during grand silence. 43:02.830 --> 43:06.793 I... I didn't realize it was still grand silence. 43:07.960 --> 43:11.005 Well, because they told us to count the bells before noon. 43:11.089 --> 43:12.090 And I counted... 43:12.173 --> 43:14.634 Do you not understand what "silence" means? Hmm? 43:15.468 --> 43:17.678 Was it not explained to you properly? 43:20.640 --> 43:23.518 During grand silence, you are silent. Mmm? 43:24.102 --> 43:26.938 And silence means you don't talk. 43:27.021 --> 43:28.773 You shut your mouth! 43:30.817 --> 43:34.028 But, Reverend Mother, you're talking. 43:34.612 --> 43:37.323 That is because I am reprimanding you right now, Jenny! 43:37.406 --> 43:40.493 - I am reprimanding you! - It's "Sissy." 43:44.372 --> 43:45.957 I don't care in the least. 43:46.040 --> 43:47.917 I want you to get down on your hands and knees 43:48.000 --> 43:49.001 and crawl all the way here. 43:49.085 --> 43:52.255 Say as many Hail Marys as you can, from here to there. 43:53.005 --> 43:54.632 Right now! 43:55.675 --> 43:57.844 On your hands and knees, Sister! 43:57.969 --> 43:59.095 (CRYING) 44:01.848 --> 44:03.683 Hail... Hail Mary... 44:04.183 --> 44:05.893 Are you talking? 44:06.102 --> 44:08.938 Do I still hear you talking? 44:15.194 --> 44:17.113 Silence! 44:21.117 --> 44:22.410 (SNIFFLES) 44:28.499 --> 44:30.126 (SOBBING) 44:56.110 --> 44:58.029 MARY GRACE: I didn't have any clue. 45:00.406 --> 45:02.491 Sorry. I didn't realize anybody was here. 45:02.575 --> 45:03.576 No, no, it's okay. 45:05.494 --> 45:06.871 Come here. 45:07.121 --> 45:09.081 Come here. I'd like to talk to you. 45:19.675 --> 45:22.136 - How are you, Sister Cathleen? - Good. 45:23.721 --> 45:24.972 Thank you. 45:26.057 --> 45:27.475 And the other girls? 45:28.309 --> 45:30.895 Are they still upset about Sister Sissy being sent home? 45:32.438 --> 45:35.066 Everybody mostly understands. 45:36.108 --> 45:37.693 We all miss her. I miss her, but... 45:38.694 --> 45:39.820 Of course. 45:41.656 --> 45:44.033 Do you often come here to pray by yourself? 45:44.367 --> 45:45.743 Sometimes. 45:46.994 --> 45:49.497 Especially now that our first vows are coming up. 45:49.664 --> 45:53.626 I just wanted to spend some extra time communicating with Him, 45:53.709 --> 45:58.089 and make sure He's okay with me becoming a novice. 45:59.298 --> 46:01.259 I'm pretty sure He's okay with it. 46:03.135 --> 46:04.971 I think you're gonna be a great nun. 46:05.680 --> 46:06.973 Thank you, Sister. 46:19.944 --> 46:21.862 Just do me a favor, okay? 46:23.531 --> 46:25.741 Please make sure this is what you want. 46:28.661 --> 46:30.579 Do you understand what I'm saying? 46:33.833 --> 46:35.167 Okay. 46:36.669 --> 46:39.422 Lord, please forgive me, I haven't done well today. 46:41.507 --> 46:43.759 I didn't focus enough on my prayers this morning, 46:43.843 --> 46:45.136 and I rushed to Mass 46:46.554 --> 46:48.889 because I just wanted to be with my friends. 46:51.309 --> 46:53.311 And I'm sorry, sometimes I feel like 46:53.894 --> 46:56.689 I pay more attention to my friends than I do you. 46:58.649 --> 47:00.735 And I just pray that you censure my heart, 47:01.610 --> 47:04.655 and you center my thoughts and my mind only on you. 47:04.947 --> 47:07.616 CHORUS: (SINGING) You shall speak to him 47:07.700 --> 47:10.995 And put the words in his mouth 47:11.287 --> 47:14.415 And I will be with your mouth 47:14.582 --> 47:16.917 And with his mouth 47:17.043 --> 47:20.838 And will teach you both what to do 47:20.963 --> 47:23.799 You shall speak to him 47:23.883 --> 47:25.843 And put the words in his mouth 47:25.926 --> 47:27.136 (DOOR OPENS) 47:27.219 --> 47:30.598 And I will be with your mouth 47:30.681 --> 47:32.933 And with his mouth 47:33.017 --> 47:36.979 And will teach you both what to do 47:37.313 --> 47:39.899 You shall speak to him 47:39.982 --> 47:43.152 And put the words in his mouth 47:43.235 --> 47:46.447 And I will be with your mouth 47:46.530 --> 47:48.574 And with his mouth 47:48.657 --> 47:52.244 And will teach you both what to do 47:52.828 --> 47:55.623 You shall speak to him 47:55.706 --> 47:58.918 And put the words in his mouth 47:59.168 --> 48:02.463 And I will be with your mouth 48:02.588 --> 48:04.924 And with his mouth 48:05.007 --> 48:08.719 And will teach you both what to do 48:09.136 --> 48:11.680 You shall speak to him 48:12.056 --> 48:15.601 And put the words in his mouth 48:15.684 --> 48:19.021 And I will be with your mouth 48:19.105 --> 48:20.439 And with his mouth 48:20.523 --> 48:21.649 MARY GRACE: Keep going. 48:21.732 --> 48:25.027 And will teach you both what to do 48:25.653 --> 48:26.737 Keep singing- 48:26.821 --> 48:28.364 You shall speak to him 48:28.447 --> 48:31.867 And put the words in his mouth 48:31.951 --> 48:33.953 REVEREND MOTHER: I owe you no explanation whatsoever. 48:34.036 --> 48:36.080 I just want you to collect your belongings 48:36.163 --> 48:38.916 and get yourselves back home. 48:41.377 --> 48:43.587 All right, out you go. 48:43.671 --> 48:45.214 Enough's enough. 48:45.631 --> 48:47.258 (POSTULANTS SOBBING) 48:47.341 --> 48:48.592 Come along. 48:55.349 --> 48:57.143 (SHIVERS) Mmm! 49:00.479 --> 49:02.565 - What just happened? - Oh, nothing. 49:02.648 --> 49:04.525 I'm sending those two girls home. 49:04.608 --> 49:07.319 You're sending Mariana and Teresa home? 49:09.989 --> 49:11.615 I was told that their relationship 49:11.699 --> 49:13.409 was veering toward something inappropriate. 49:13.492 --> 49:15.119 But they're just young girls, right? 49:15.995 --> 49:17.830 Perhaps they're just friends. 49:17.913 --> 49:20.249 Perhaps they're just seeking comfort in each other. 49:21.041 --> 49:22.835 Seeking comfort in each other? 49:23.627 --> 49:25.421 Is that what we do around here now? 49:27.756 --> 49:29.341 Are you questioning me again? 49:31.260 --> 49:33.387 Are you questioning my judgment? 49:35.806 --> 49:37.808 So, why don't you tell me, Mary Grace. 49:38.309 --> 49:41.228 How are those two girls expected to go their entire lives 49:41.353 --> 49:43.522 without any form of physical affection, 49:43.856 --> 49:46.025 when they can't even make it a few months? 49:47.526 --> 49:48.569 I don't know. 49:49.612 --> 49:55.034 You know, there have been moments, recently, 49:58.078 --> 50:00.456 when it's begun to feel to me 50:00.539 --> 50:03.959 as if you don't want to be here with us anymore. 50:05.419 --> 50:10.216 As if everything requires some sort of inquisition by you. 50:14.136 --> 50:15.763 What is your trouble exactly? 50:16.138 --> 50:17.515 Part of my trouble is you. 50:18.224 --> 50:19.642 Me? 50:19.725 --> 50:21.560 I don't understand your motivations. 50:21.644 --> 50:23.646 God is my motivation. 50:23.729 --> 50:26.649 God is my reason and motivation for everything I do. 50:26.732 --> 50:28.484 How can you be absolutely certain of what He wants? 50:28.609 --> 50:29.610 I am quite certain. 50:29.693 --> 50:32.488 I think it's wrong of you to keep us in the dark about Vatican ll. 50:32.905 --> 50:34.281 Whatever's in those documents, 50:34.365 --> 50:35.824 whatever it is that you're hiding from us, 50:35.908 --> 50:37.868 that's going to affect all of us... 50:37.952 --> 50:40.037 It is not going to affect any of us. 50:40.120 --> 50:43.165 - This will affect none of us. - Why can't you just tell me? 50:43.874 --> 50:47.294 Because I don't want to. I don't have to, and I don't want to. 50:47.378 --> 50:49.129 - Fine, Mother! - Yes, fine! 50:49.213 --> 50:51.006 Fine indeed, Mary! 51:00.599 --> 51:02.309 (SOBBING) 51:24.290 --> 51:26.333 I just wanted to... 51:27.918 --> 51:31.672 I just wanted to tell you I've decided to leave the convent. 51:32.047 --> 51:35.301 - POSTULANTS: What? -(PANICKED CHATTER) 51:36.010 --> 51:39.221 I'm very sorry that I won't be there to see you take your first vows. 51:39.305 --> 51:41.348 What do you mean? Where are you going? 51:41.515 --> 51:43.142 It's because of Reverend Mother, isn't it? 51:43.642 --> 51:45.269 She wants to take you away from us. 51:45.352 --> 51:48.022 No, no, no, that's not it. 51:48.480 --> 51:50.065 This is my decision. 51:51.358 --> 51:54.111 I've been a Rose since I was 16 years old. 51:55.613 --> 51:57.740 My time here has been wonderful, 51:58.240 --> 52:00.242 but I am not meant to be here anymore. 52:01.243 --> 52:04.830 Will you still be a member of the Church after you leave? 52:07.833 --> 52:08.834 Yes. 52:10.461 --> 52:11.879 This is my family. 52:13.672 --> 52:16.425 You, each and every one of you 52:16.508 --> 52:19.511 that I've spent day in and day outwith. 52:19.845 --> 52:24.683 I love each and every one of you with everything in my heart. 52:26.560 --> 52:28.812 (BELL TOLLING) 52:29.146 --> 52:33.317 NUN: "We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. 52:33.901 --> 52:36.987 "Imitation is not a literal mimicking of Christ, 52:37.363 --> 52:39.907 "rather it means becoming the image of the beloved. 52:40.824 --> 52:43.702 "An image disclosed through transformation." 52:56.924 --> 52:58.300 (DOOR OPENING) 53:04.765 --> 53:06.308 WOMAN: Be still... 53:07.101 --> 53:08.352 Please clear the way 53:08.435 --> 53:11.271 for my untouched virginal body to pass. 53:11.605 --> 53:13.148 There's a new era coming, 53:13.816 --> 53:15.818 a new wind blowing in here. 53:16.151 --> 53:18.237 -(POSTULANTS LAUGHING) - There will come a time, very soon, 53:18.320 --> 53:21.865 when all your cathedrals will finally crumble. 53:21.990 --> 53:26.120 All these trappings and clothing falling away to the ground. 53:26.453 --> 53:28.205 And it'll be us, all of us, 53:29.123 --> 53:31.875 standing here naked before God. 53:33.127 --> 53:37.381 (CHANTING) 53:43.512 --> 53:45.139 (WHISPERING) 53:50.602 --> 53:52.312 (BELLS TOLLING) 54:06.660 --> 54:08.412 NUN 1: Girls, we only have a few more minutes. 54:08.537 --> 54:10.038 (EXCITED CHATTERING) 54:10.122 --> 54:12.416 - We have a long way to go. - NUN 2: Can you do it yourself? 54:13.041 --> 54:14.460 POSTULANT 1: Our parents are out there. 54:14.960 --> 54:16.420 POSTULANT 2: Does anyone have a knitting needle? 54:16.545 --> 54:18.297 Sister Anne, do you have any knitting needles? 54:19.006 --> 54:20.340 POSTULANT 3: I don't even have them. 54:20.424 --> 54:21.550 NUN 3: Can someone help her with her veil? 54:21.633 --> 54:22.634 POSTULANT 4: I'll get it. 54:23.385 --> 54:24.428 POSTULANT 5: I need a band. 54:25.804 --> 54:28.098 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 55:23.695 --> 55:26.657 (PRIEST SPEAKING LATIN) 56:01.942 --> 56:03.443 With the help of God, 56:04.570 --> 56:06.196 I have come to know in this community... 56:06.488 --> 56:10.117 ...both the difficulty and the joy of a life completely devoted to Him. 56:10.576 --> 56:14.204 My desire is to be allowed to make perpetual profession. 56:14.496 --> 56:18.709 I seek to become a temporary bride of Christ for a year and a half 56:18.792 --> 56:21.795 and to persevere in all of my undying love. 56:22.671 --> 56:24.423 (CHORAL HYMN CONTINUES PLAYING) 57:30.447 --> 57:33.825 ALL: May we be worthy of Christ's love. 57:45.420 --> 57:49.216 (CHANTING) We're married! We're married! We're married! 57:49.299 --> 57:51.885 - I love you, God! - I love you, Jesus! 57:51.969 --> 57:53.303 (NOVICES WHOOPING) 57:55.222 --> 57:56.723 (NOVICES LAUGHING) 57:58.016 --> 57:59.810 NOVICE: I'm married to Jesus. 58:01.645 --> 58:03.146 Christ. Christ. 58:05.107 --> 58:07.526 REVEREND MOTHER: The novitiate, as I'm sure you've all heard, 58:09.695 --> 58:12.531 is the most grueling 58:12.614 --> 58:14.449 and demanding period... 58:14.741 --> 58:16.576 Why are they breaking our mirrors like that? 58:16.702 --> 58:17.995 ...in any nun's life. 58:21.206 --> 58:25.627 It is then when the strength of your so-called vocations 58:25.711 --> 58:29.131 will be tested to their limits. 58:30.215 --> 58:33.677 It's also about learning to be perfect. 58:35.053 --> 58:38.974 Because, and I think you'd all agree, 58:39.683 --> 58:42.811 our Savior deserves no less 58:42.894 --> 58:46.023 from each one of you than a perfect wife. 58:46.982 --> 58:51.862 So, once a week, we will be meeting in this room 58:52.320 --> 58:55.532 for an exercise called "Chapter of Faults." 58:56.408 --> 58:58.618 And one thing I can assure you, 58:59.870 --> 59:03.999 we do not leave until the chapter is finished. 59:04.416 --> 59:08.670 So... You, Sister. 59:10.255 --> 59:12.299 Me? Evelyn. 59:13.216 --> 59:14.801 I'm Sister Evelyn. 59:15.427 --> 59:17.345 Come to the center of the room, please. 59:19.431 --> 59:20.891 (BREATH ES SHAKILY) 59:31.693 --> 59:33.528 Now... 59:33.862 --> 59:36.198 I want you to think for a moment, 59:37.699 --> 59:41.661 and then I want you to carefully list 59:42.120 --> 59:44.873 every single fault 59:45.499 --> 59:48.376 you're aware of in yourself. 59:52.506 --> 59:54.091 I'm sorry, what? 59:54.382 --> 59:56.051 What don't you understand? 59:57.761 --> 59:58.970 Are you perfect? 01:00:00.931 --> 01:00:02.599 No. 01:00:02.682 --> 01:00:04.726 I don't know... 01:00:05.477 --> 01:00:06.686 What do you mean? 01:00:06.770 --> 01:00:10.107 Are you a perfect person, a perfect human being? 01:00:10.857 --> 01:00:12.275 A perfect nun? 01:00:12.359 --> 01:00:15.112 No. Of course not. 01:00:15.487 --> 01:00:16.988 Wouldn't you like to be perfect? 01:00:19.825 --> 01:00:23.578 Don't you think you should at least try to be perfect? 01:00:23.829 --> 01:00:26.581 Yes, if I could. 01:00:29.251 --> 01:00:33.547 So what do you think stands in the way most 01:00:33.630 --> 01:00:36.424 between you and perfection? 01:00:37.884 --> 01:00:39.177 My faults. 01:00:39.761 --> 01:00:41.054 Correct. 01:00:41.304 --> 01:00:45.934 Because there's really no way for any of us to achieve perfection 01:00:46.017 --> 01:00:48.770 without first getting rid of our faults. 01:00:48.895 --> 01:00:50.063 I guess so. 01:00:50.564 --> 01:00:51.982 You guess what, Sister? 01:00:53.525 --> 01:00:57.154 Yes, Mother, I agree. 01:00:57.487 --> 01:00:59.906 All right. Let's hear it. 01:00:59.990 --> 01:01:01.533 Let's hear your faults. 01:01:01.992 --> 01:01:04.744 Well, I'm untidy. 01:01:05.912 --> 01:01:07.998 I mean, lam... I'm messy. 01:01:08.790 --> 01:01:11.877 I feel like a slob, and... 01:01:13.420 --> 01:01:15.672 I space out sometimes. 01:01:17.382 --> 01:01:18.383 I mean, in school, they... 01:01:18.466 --> 01:01:19.676 - All right. Whoa, whoa... - I can't. I really can't... 01:01:19.759 --> 01:01:21.595 Hold it. Hold. Hold. Hold. 01:01:21.678 --> 01:01:22.929 Just a moment. 01:01:23.889 --> 01:01:28.810 Leaving clothes on the floor and lack of concentration, 01:01:28.935 --> 01:01:30.896 or "spacing out," as you call it, 01:01:31.229 --> 01:01:37.485 while I agree these are all weaknesses that you need to know about yourself, 01:01:38.570 --> 01:01:40.405 they're also quite superficial 01:01:40.488 --> 01:01:43.283 and won't get us very far in this process. 01:01:44.826 --> 01:01:45.869 So... 01:01:48.121 --> 01:01:49.873 I want you to start again. 01:01:50.707 --> 01:01:51.958 And this time, 01:01:52.417 --> 01:01:56.504 I want you to fully examine your conscience 01:01:56.796 --> 01:02:01.635 and come up with a list of things you do on a daily basis 01:02:01.718 --> 01:02:04.095 to fail our Lord Christ. 01:02:05.472 --> 01:02:06.890 EVELYN: Um... 01:02:07.849 --> 01:02:09.309 Ways that I fail... 01:02:09.392 --> 01:02:10.644 (EVELYN CRYING) 01:02:12.020 --> 01:02:14.439 Ways that I fail Christ. 01:02:16.441 --> 01:02:19.736 Well, there's a part of me 01:02:21.571 --> 01:02:24.574 that thinks that I'm not good enough to be here, 01:02:25.867 --> 01:02:28.411 that I don't deserve to be here. 01:02:29.037 --> 01:02:32.374 I want to be pure, and I want to be good. 01:02:33.667 --> 01:02:35.210 But... 01:02:37.420 --> 01:02:41.758 I don't know if that's who I really am on the inside. 01:02:42.425 --> 01:02:44.177 Because... 01:02:45.095 --> 01:02:47.931 Sometimes my thoughts inside 01:02:48.014 --> 01:02:50.684 don't match the way I act on the outside. 01:02:56.106 --> 01:03:01.569 And I just feel bad and ugly inside. 01:03:08.118 --> 01:03:09.869 And I've let people down before. 01:03:09.953 --> 01:03:14.124 I've let my parents down, my ma and my father, 01:03:14.207 --> 01:03:16.543 but I don't want to let Him down, Mother. 01:03:16.626 --> 01:03:19.838 I don't want to let Jesus down. 01:03:22.882 --> 01:03:27.095 And I just hope that He knows that I can do better... 01:03:30.015 --> 01:03:31.725 If He'll let me. 01:03:32.600 --> 01:03:35.395 All right, Sister. Very brave of you. 01:03:36.855 --> 01:03:38.148 And now for your penance, 01:03:38.231 --> 01:03:40.984 I'd like to assign you ten rosaries next week. 01:03:41.693 --> 01:03:44.738 And I'd also like you to starve yourself all day on Friday. 01:03:44.821 --> 01:03:46.156 Thank you, Mother. 01:03:47.866 --> 01:03:49.659 Where are you going? 01:03:56.541 --> 01:03:58.043 I thought that I was done. 01:03:59.044 --> 01:04:01.504 Done? No one said you were done. 01:04:01.588 --> 01:04:02.630 Come back here. 01:04:14.684 --> 01:04:18.188 Now that Sister has been brave enough to share some of her faults with us, 01:04:18.313 --> 01:04:20.607 I'd like to open it up to the room 01:04:21.274 --> 01:04:24.903 to help point out any additional character flaws 01:04:24.986 --> 01:04:27.655 that they are aware of in their Sister. 01:04:35.413 --> 01:04:36.539 Well, somebody say something. 01:04:36.623 --> 01:04:38.416 We've already established she's not perfect. 01:04:40.335 --> 01:04:42.253 - I saw her smile. - What? 01:04:44.089 --> 01:04:47.425 Just now, when you said she did a good job, 01:04:48.468 --> 01:04:50.053 I saw her smile. 01:04:50.929 --> 01:04:53.473 Like she was pleased with herself. 01:04:54.349 --> 01:04:56.226 Like it was all a joke to her. 01:04:57.769 --> 01:04:58.937 Is that true? 01:05:00.480 --> 01:05:01.689 No! 01:05:01.773 --> 01:05:02.982 And how would she know 01:05:03.066 --> 01:05:04.776 if she hadn't broken the custody of eyes? 01:05:04.859 --> 01:05:06.152 I didn't. You're vain! 01:05:06.236 --> 01:05:09.280 You did! You're a liar! How else would she know? 01:05:09.364 --> 01:05:11.658 All right. That's enough. 01:05:14.786 --> 01:05:16.496 Sister, your turn is finished. 01:05:16.830 --> 01:05:18.915 However, if that is true, 01:05:19.707 --> 01:05:23.211 and you had the nerve to mock this process, it's pathetic. 01:05:23.628 --> 01:05:25.088 What sort of nun are you going to be 01:05:25.171 --> 01:05:28.591 if you can't even stand a single moment of self-reflection 01:05:28.675 --> 01:05:31.386 without gloating? Hmm? 01:05:32.178 --> 01:05:33.930 So in addition to your other penance, 01:05:34.013 --> 01:05:37.517 I would like you to use the discipline on yourself. 01:05:40.228 --> 01:05:41.604 What? 01:05:56.786 --> 01:05:59.080 -(EVELYN SOBBING) - Was it that bad? 01:05:59.289 --> 01:06:00.707 What do you think? 01:06:07.005 --> 01:06:09.090 You don't have to stay here, you know. 01:06:09.174 --> 01:06:10.467 None of us do. 01:06:10.884 --> 01:06:12.427 You can leave whenever you want to. 01:06:15.013 --> 01:06:16.347 And do what? 01:06:17.599 --> 01:06:21.186 You mean go home and tell everyone and my parents 01:06:21.269 --> 01:06:22.979 that I failed at being a nun? 01:06:24.063 --> 01:06:26.733 - No, I can't do that. - Sister Mary Grace did it. 01:06:27.525 --> 01:06:29.027 It's not the same. 01:06:30.278 --> 01:06:31.946 Sister, I'm... 01:06:34.449 --> 01:06:37.035 I don't think you're vain at all. 01:06:37.994 --> 01:06:39.496 I didn't know. 01:06:40.288 --> 01:06:41.748 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 01:06:43.500 --> 01:06:45.126 - I'm sorry, too. - We're all vain. 01:06:45.210 --> 01:06:47.837 She's just teaching us how to lose our vanity. 01:06:48.046 --> 01:06:48.087 (BELL DINGING) 01:06:48.087 --> 01:06:49.255 (BELL DINGING) 01:06:50.173 --> 01:06:52.509 Sisters, I need your attention, please. 01:06:53.968 --> 01:06:56.179 As of today, we have a new member. 01:06:56.596 --> 01:06:59.349 Sister Gabrielle Emanuel will be joining our community. 01:06:59.724 --> 01:07:01.768 Sister Emanuel was previously a member 01:07:01.851 --> 01:07:05.104 of the Order of the Sisters of Christ in New Hampshire. 01:07:05.396 --> 01:07:07.649 But as she felt the culture of the Roses 01:07:07.732 --> 01:07:10.068 was more suited to her religious needs, 01:07:10.151 --> 01:07:12.195 she has decided to transfer here. 01:07:12.362 --> 01:07:14.822 She'll be joining us as a first-year novice. 01:07:15.240 --> 01:07:17.075 So let's make her feel welcome. 01:07:22.205 --> 01:07:23.623 EMILY: I guess all my friends are just back home, 01:07:23.706 --> 01:07:25.708 and they're doing a bunch of teenage stuff. 01:07:25.792 --> 01:07:29.128 They're going to the drive-in movies. 01:07:29.212 --> 01:07:32.423 And they're going roller-skating 01:07:32.507 --> 01:07:36.219 and watching the fireworks on the Fourth of July, 01:07:36.302 --> 01:07:37.887 or they're going... 01:07:38.221 --> 01:07:39.806 They're going on dates with boys. 01:07:41.182 --> 01:07:44.394 - With boys. - Yeah. I don't know, I... 01:07:46.563 --> 01:07:48.064 Even“. 01:07:50.483 --> 01:07:52.235 (LAUGHING) Even what? 01:07:53.152 --> 01:07:54.404 You know. 01:07:56.406 --> 01:07:57.615 What? 01:07:58.866 --> 01:07:59.867 Sex. 01:08:02.537 --> 01:08:03.663 (LAUGHS) 01:08:03.746 --> 01:08:06.291 Come on. You can't say that you've never thought about it before. 01:08:06.374 --> 01:08:07.667 Everybody does. 01:08:08.209 --> 01:08:10.920 Even nuns do, they just don't ever talk about it. 01:08:13.256 --> 01:08:14.674 How do you know that? 01:08:15.758 --> 01:08:18.469 Because it's normal. 01:08:19.679 --> 01:08:21.389 It's more normal than you think. 01:08:25.225 --> 01:08:28.688 I don't really think about it. 01:08:29.772 --> 01:08:32.233 So, you never even kissed a boy before you came here, 01:08:32.317 --> 01:08:33.734 nothing like that? 01:08:40.533 --> 01:08:41.868 Have you? 01:08:43.703 --> 01:08:46.080 Yeah. Only once, though. 01:08:46.163 --> 01:08:48.791 Wait, don't tell all the other Sisters, though, please. 01:08:49.292 --> 01:08:51.127 - I won't. - Okay. 01:08:53.671 --> 01:08:58.051 "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, 01:08:58.635 --> 01:09:01.845 "for your love is better than wine. 01:09:03.221 --> 01:09:06.392 "Your anointing oils are fragrant. 01:09:07.393 --> 01:09:10.688 "Your name is oil poured out on me. 01:09:11.898 --> 01:09:15.652 "Therefore, virgins love you." 01:09:26.120 --> 01:09:27.705 Sister Cathleen. 01:09:43.888 --> 01:09:47.265 I wish I could be more loved back. 01:09:50.435 --> 01:09:51.562 I wish I knew for sure... 01:09:53.898 --> 01:09:55.191 I wish we all knew for sure 01:09:57.902 --> 01:10:00.780 that He really loves us as much as we love Him. 01:10:03.491 --> 01:10:05.451 I just wish I could feel it more. 01:10:08.913 --> 01:10:12.291 Don't wish for things you shouldn't, Sister. 01:10:13.918 --> 01:10:16.671 (BELL TOLLING) 01:10:47.410 --> 01:10:48.703 (MOANING SOFTLY) 01:11:10.433 --> 01:11:12.477 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 01:11:23.321 --> 01:11:25.114 (MOANING) 01:11:47.637 --> 01:11:48.846 (GASPS) 01:11:52.475 --> 01:11:54.185 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 01:12:00.775 --> 01:12:04.070 (PRAYING) 01:12:11.035 --> 01:12:13.454 (PRIEST SPEAKING LATIN) 01:13:01.085 --> 01:13:03.379 REVEREND MOTHER: For it is in giving that we receive, 01:13:03.629 --> 01:13:06.716 and in pardoning, that we are pardoned, and in dying... 01:13:06.799 --> 01:13:09.760 Excuse me, Mother. The Archbishop is here to see you. 01:13:10.636 --> 01:13:11.846 The Archbishop. 01:13:28.487 --> 01:13:30.489 Good afternoon, Mother. 01:13:32.742 --> 01:13:33.951 Go ahead, sit. 01:13:34.952 --> 01:13:36.579 Let me get you some tea. 01:13:37.330 --> 01:13:39.832 - No, thank you. - A little drop won't hurt you. 01:13:40.041 --> 01:13:41.626 So, how are you, Marie? 01:13:42.501 --> 01:13:44.086 You seem a little bit on edge. 01:13:44.921 --> 01:13:48.299 Perhaps it's because I haven't been in the company of a man for a while. 01:13:48.716 --> 01:13:50.092 It's unusual for me. 01:13:50.176 --> 01:13:51.344 (ARCHBISHOP LAUGHS) 01:13:52.803 --> 01:13:55.348 - Do you know why I'm here? - No, I don't. 01:13:55.890 --> 01:13:59.101 - You have no idea why I'm here? - No, I honestly do not. 01:14:00.811 --> 01:14:05.858 Well, I've been hearing a lot recently about how this Order, in particular, 01:14:05.942 --> 01:14:07.735 is having some trouble embracing 01:14:07.818 --> 01:14:10.655 some of the changes that have been put forth by Vatican ll. 01:14:10.738 --> 01:14:12.740 Now, you tell me, is that accurate? 01:14:12.990 --> 01:14:14.450 Accurate to a point. 01:14:15.159 --> 01:14:17.578 Some of the changes we've adopted, others we haven't. 01:14:17.954 --> 01:14:19.038 Great. 01:14:20.081 --> 01:14:21.248 You care to elaborate? 01:14:22.041 --> 01:14:26.170 The memos sent over from your office used the word "suggestion" 01:14:26.337 --> 01:14:29.882 in regards to all these changes we're supposed... 01:14:30.341 --> 01:14:31.509 (LAUGHS) 01:14:31.592 --> 01:14:33.177 Well, that's amusing. 01:14:33.678 --> 01:14:36.013 I think you're the only one who missed the subtext there. 01:14:37.556 --> 01:14:39.892 You see, for most of us, 01:14:39.976 --> 01:14:44.981 the word "suggestion" is understood as synonymous with "obligation." 01:14:45.189 --> 01:14:49.026 Perhaps I'm not all that attuned to subtext. 01:14:49.944 --> 01:14:51.821 - My apologies. - Of course. 01:14:51.904 --> 01:14:54.573 - Are we done here? - No, no, no. Sorry, we're not done. 01:14:55.574 --> 01:14:58.786 Why don't you tell me 01:14:59.120 --> 01:15:01.455 what exactly you have the most difficulty with? 01:15:01.539 --> 01:15:03.249 Just lay it all out for me. 01:15:03.541 --> 01:15:04.750 I have no difficulty. 01:15:05.042 --> 01:15:07.294 I just happen to disagree with it. All of it. 01:15:07.378 --> 01:15:09.422 Not to mention it's a slap in the face 01:15:09.505 --> 01:15:11.674 that the Sisters weren't given any voice in the matter. 01:15:11.757 --> 01:15:14.051 You honestly expected them to have their own voice, the Sisters? 01:15:14.135 --> 01:15:15.803 We are a part of this church, too. 01:15:15.886 --> 01:15:17.847 Marie, Marie, that's not how it works. 01:15:17.930 --> 01:15:20.933 I don't think you really understand what this will do to us. 01:15:21.350 --> 01:15:25.146 If we were to truly embrace all these changes, 01:15:25.438 --> 01:15:29.525 it will ruin the very institution of Catholic nuns as... 01:15:35.197 --> 01:15:40.536 Are you still encouraging all of your novitiates and postulants 01:15:40.619 --> 01:15:44.790 to perform extreme acts of penance on themselves? 01:15:45.541 --> 01:15:50.129 All that old medieval stuff? Because that's gotta stop. 01:15:50.212 --> 01:15:52.006 I never asked my girls to do anything for God 01:15:52.089 --> 01:15:53.466 that I haven't done myself. 01:15:53.549 --> 01:15:54.842 Like I said, gotta stop. 01:15:56.552 --> 01:15:58.929 As for the rest of Rome's recommendations, 01:15:59.013 --> 01:16:01.599 I would just hope that you can keep an open mind 01:16:01.682 --> 01:16:06.687 and try to see things as part of the larger context. 01:16:06.896 --> 01:16:10.524 A theme of change, adaptation, of spiritual evolution. 01:16:10.858 --> 01:16:15.404 Do me a favor, just open your mind a little bit. 01:16:16.822 --> 01:16:20.868 Otherwise, I may have to "suggest" 01:16:22.078 --> 01:16:24.080 that we find a replacement for you. 01:16:31.003 --> 01:16:36.217 I never ever, ever thought that I would say this, 01:16:36.300 --> 01:16:40.179 but there are times where I question 01:16:41.722 --> 01:16:43.974 whether or not God is even real. 01:16:44.058 --> 01:16:46.852 And I know, I know that's so horrible, 01:16:46.936 --> 01:16:48.646 but what scares me to think is, 01:16:49.396 --> 01:16:53.025 what if He actually doesn't exist? 01:16:53.818 --> 01:16:56.028 What if He's just something that we all made up one day 01:16:56.112 --> 01:16:57.655 and everybody started believing it? 01:16:59.824 --> 01:17:03.869 Everything that we do for Him and what we put ourselves through, 01:17:03.953 --> 01:17:07.123 to only live in His image, but... 01:17:08.624 --> 01:17:12.419 But are we spreading any sort of love in here or in the world, 01:17:12.503 --> 01:17:13.963 or any kindness, or... 01:17:14.046 --> 01:17:17.216 Or are we even getting to know God more? 01:17:18.259 --> 01:17:20.261 And if it ever turned out 01:17:20.970 --> 01:17:24.890 that God didn't really exist... 01:17:25.766 --> 01:17:27.726 Then who would we all be doing this for? 01:17:30.896 --> 01:17:32.773 Sister, you come in here week after week 01:17:32.857 --> 01:17:36.485 with the same ridiculous confession 01:17:36.569 --> 01:17:39.280 about your wavering spirituality. 01:17:41.407 --> 01:17:43.075 Frankly, it's grown tiresome. 01:17:44.910 --> 01:17:48.956 Your utter spiritual wretchedness. 01:17:51.417 --> 01:17:54.712 So, for your penance, I'm assigning you no penance. 01:17:57.006 --> 01:17:58.090 Don't bother. 01:18:03.345 --> 01:18:04.763 Excuse! 01:18:08.184 --> 01:18:09.727 (DOOR CLOSES) 01:18:13.147 --> 01:18:17.318 (BELL TOLLING) 01:18:27.077 --> 01:18:31.332 I just don't understand who she is or what she's doing here. 01:18:31.415 --> 01:18:34.376 Apparently, the SOCs weren't strict enough for her. 01:18:35.461 --> 01:18:38.422 I guess she came here for all the extra self-punishment. 01:18:39.173 --> 01:18:40.507 Really? 01:18:42.343 --> 01:18:44.553 She really thinks she's that holy? 01:19:13.123 --> 01:19:14.375 (DOOR OPENS) 01:19:17.795 --> 01:19:19.338 You can come in now. 01:19:24.593 --> 01:19:26.220 What did you want to see me for? 01:19:29.640 --> 01:19:32.643 I was wondering if I could borrow the discipline? 01:19:33.185 --> 01:19:35.145 Just for tonight, please? 01:19:35.938 --> 01:19:36.939 Discipline? 01:19:37.606 --> 01:19:38.774 What did you do? 01:19:40.776 --> 01:19:43.654 If it's okay with you, I would rather not say. 01:19:43.737 --> 01:19:45.948 - It's not okay. - No. 01:19:46.365 --> 01:19:48.158 I can't just give it to you without knowing 01:19:48.242 --> 01:19:50.452 what you need it for first. You know that. 01:19:51.370 --> 01:19:53.163 Yeah, of course. I... 01:19:57.626 --> 01:20:00.170 I broke grand silence twice this week. 01:20:00.629 --> 01:20:01.839 And... 01:20:03.424 --> 01:20:05.259 I was uncharitable to one of my Sisters 01:20:05.342 --> 01:20:06.719 when I didn't mean to be. 01:20:07.761 --> 01:20:08.971 That's all. 01:20:10.055 --> 01:20:12.391 That's what you want to punish yourself for? 01:20:14.977 --> 01:20:16.395 Honestly? 01:20:20.607 --> 01:20:21.650 Yes. 01:20:38.751 --> 01:20:39.835 Thank you, Mother. 01:20:49.678 --> 01:20:50.929 (DOOR CLOSES) 01:21:27.800 --> 01:21:29.843 (GROANING) 01:21:52.074 --> 01:21:56.370 -(CONTINUES FLOGGING) -(BREATHING SHAKILY) 01:22:12.511 --> 01:22:16.140 Excuse me, Sister. Your mother's here to see you. 01:22:17.641 --> 01:22:20.519 What do you mean, why? It's not visiting day. 01:22:25.899 --> 01:22:27.317 (WHISPERING) 01:22:32.239 --> 01:22:35.826 It's okay. Reverend Mother said you can use the other door today. 01:22:43.917 --> 01:22:45.043 Hi, my love. 01:22:47.588 --> 01:22:50.424 Is there someplace we could talk? I have something I have to tell you. 01:22:50.924 --> 01:22:52.009 She already told me. 01:22:56.889 --> 01:22:58.432 Yeah. So, I guess no one... 01:22:59.808 --> 01:23:01.185 No one knew how sick he was, 01:23:01.268 --> 01:23:03.312 and I know he wasn't the best father, but I just... 01:23:04.104 --> 01:23:05.814 I didn't want you to be alone. 01:23:12.112 --> 01:23:13.739 Okay, I don't... 01:23:13.822 --> 01:23:15.657 I came here to tell you your dad died, 01:23:15.741 --> 01:23:17.159 and now you hear it from somebody else? 01:23:17.242 --> 01:23:19.077 I don't understand what's going on. 01:23:19.495 --> 01:23:21.914 I'm sorry you're upset, Mom. 01:23:22.372 --> 01:23:23.999 What the hell is going on here? 01:23:24.166 --> 01:23:26.293 And why does it look like you've lost a bunch of weight? 01:23:26.376 --> 01:23:28.086 I really haven't lost very much weight. I'm fine. 01:23:28.170 --> 01:23:30.964 You have lost some weight, Cathleen. So, how much weight have you lost? 01:23:32.925 --> 01:23:34.510 What's going on, they don't feed you in here? 01:23:34.593 --> 01:23:35.844 - You're not allowed to eat? - No, I'm fine, okay? 01:23:35.928 --> 01:23:36.970 - Let me look at you! - I'm fine, okay? 01:23:37.054 --> 01:23:38.388 - Let me look at you, Cathleen. - I'm sorry. I have to go. 01:23:38.472 --> 01:23:39.556 Sorry to hear about Dad. 01:23:39.640 --> 01:23:41.141 I'll pray that God meets him at his grace, okay? 01:23:41.225 --> 01:23:42.226 - I really need to go. - What do you mean, you have to go? 01:23:42.309 --> 01:23:43.310 - Don't go yet. - I need to leave, I'm sorry, Mom. 01:23:43.393 --> 01:23:44.728 I've been driving for three hours. Stop! Stop, stop. 01:23:44.811 --> 01:23:46.939 Cathleen? Cathleen! 01:23:49.900 --> 01:23:52.152 I'd like to thank you for stopping in, Mrs. Harris. 01:23:52.236 --> 01:23:53.612 I don't think we've had the pleasure. 01:23:53.695 --> 01:23:56.114 Just wanna know what's going on with my daughter, that's all. 01:23:56.657 --> 01:23:58.033 Going on with your daughter? 01:23:58.116 --> 01:23:59.785 - In what way? - Look, Miss... 01:23:59.868 --> 01:24:01.036 Mother. 01:24:01.119 --> 01:24:04.540 - Excuse me? - It's "Mother." Or "Reverend Mother." 01:24:04.623 --> 01:24:07.543 I'm not a "Miss," or a "Missus" either, for that matter. 01:24:07.626 --> 01:24:09.920 Lady, I am not calling you Mother. 01:24:11.547 --> 01:24:14.258 Mrs. Harris, I understand you've had a loss in the family. 01:24:14.341 --> 01:24:16.051 - And I would like to express... - Save it. 01:24:16.343 --> 01:24:18.595 You know, I haven't seen my daughter in over six months. 01:24:19.513 --> 01:24:21.306 And I came here today to tell her about her dad, 01:24:21.390 --> 01:24:22.683 and I barely recognize her. 01:24:24.309 --> 01:24:26.937 She looks completely different, like she's lost 20 pounds. 01:24:27.020 --> 01:24:29.481 I wanna know what you're doing to her in here. 01:24:29.690 --> 01:24:31.149 What I'm doing? 01:24:31.942 --> 01:24:34.820 You're talking about her body, which is a superficial topic. 01:24:34.903 --> 01:24:36.071 Are you blind? 01:24:38.115 --> 01:24:39.575 Have you seen her lately? 01:24:39.658 --> 01:24:41.451 She looks like she's dying. 01:24:41.743 --> 01:24:43.495 Just, please, calm down. 01:24:43.579 --> 01:24:46.206 I said, I wanna know what's going on in here! 01:24:47.916 --> 01:24:51.628 Honestly, Mrs. Harris, with all due respect, 01:24:52.754 --> 01:24:56.008 in a sense, you did bring your daughter here to die. 01:24:56.842 --> 01:24:59.011 You brought her here to die to the outside world 01:24:59.094 --> 01:25:01.263 and be born again in Christ's love. 01:25:01.805 --> 01:25:04.474 It's a process. She's simply going through it. 01:25:04.558 --> 01:25:05.684 That's all. 01:25:07.603 --> 01:25:08.645 For what it's worth, 01:25:08.729 --> 01:25:10.606 I do understand how difficult it can be 01:25:10.689 --> 01:25:12.482 for a parent to give their child to God. 01:25:12.691 --> 01:25:15.110 And that's because you have children of your own? 01:25:15.360 --> 01:25:16.445 No, I don't, 01:25:17.112 --> 01:25:18.739 but neither do you anymore. 01:25:21.408 --> 01:25:22.659 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 01:25:26.705 --> 01:25:27.998 Okay. Well... 01:25:29.499 --> 01:25:30.792 Just so you know, 01:25:31.209 --> 01:25:32.586 and with all due respect to you, 01:25:32.669 --> 01:25:34.796 Miss whatever the fuck you want to be called, 01:25:36.548 --> 01:25:38.050 I didn't bring my daughter here. 01:25:39.509 --> 01:25:41.178 I didn't bring her here at all. 01:25:41.261 --> 01:25:44.014 But if I ever come here and see her like this again, 01:25:44.097 --> 01:25:46.516 I will take her out of here. 01:26:34.356 --> 01:26:36.024 Are you all right, Sister Cathleen? 01:26:40.654 --> 01:26:41.780 (COUGHS) 01:26:43.490 --> 01:26:45.158 (NUNS GASPING) 01:26:48.537 --> 01:26:49.621 (DOOR OPENS) 01:26:51.915 --> 01:26:54.459 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 01:27:30.912 --> 01:27:32.497 Reverend Mother... 01:27:34.291 --> 01:27:35.667 She asked me to check on you. 01:27:37.377 --> 01:27:39.296 And we don't have to sign. It's not grand silence yet. 01:27:41.548 --> 01:27:43.008 They asked me to bring soup for you. 01:27:58.523 --> 01:27:59.733 Thank you. 01:28:01.401 --> 01:28:03.069 (PRAYING) 01:28:12.954 --> 01:28:15.207 So you were at the SOCs, right? 01:28:18.293 --> 01:28:19.628 What happened, you didn't like it there? 01:28:25.175 --> 01:28:27.135 It's not that I didn't like it, it's just... 01:28:28.553 --> 01:28:29.763 I don't know, I just thought 01:28:31.056 --> 01:28:32.724 being a Rose would be better for me. 01:28:33.558 --> 01:28:34.684 I thought it would be easier. 01:28:36.019 --> 01:28:37.604 Isn't it so much stricter here? 01:28:39.773 --> 01:28:42.901 Sometimes when things are stricter, it makes them easier. 01:28:44.110 --> 01:28:45.153 I wouldn't know. 01:28:46.905 --> 01:28:48.657 All I ever wanted was to be a Rose. 01:28:49.366 --> 01:28:50.992 Seems to come so naturally to you. 01:28:51.910 --> 01:28:53.286 Sometimes, I guess. 01:28:53.370 --> 01:28:54.746 I just know that 01:28:57.374 --> 01:28:59.125 I want God's love 01:29:01.837 --> 01:29:05.382 and if being a good nun is what it takes to deserve it, then... 01:29:05.841 --> 01:29:07.425 I admire your devotion. 01:29:08.635 --> 01:29:11.471 The passion you feel, it seems real with you. 01:29:12.264 --> 01:29:14.015 Isn't it with you, too? 01:29:16.643 --> 01:29:18.979 (BELL TOLLING) 01:29:26.027 --> 01:29:27.195 Sister Emanuel? 01:30:01.438 --> 01:30:04.065 Maybe it's a strange question, but... 01:30:06.359 --> 01:30:07.569 Why'd you do it? 01:30:09.487 --> 01:30:14.075 I mean, why did you starve yourself, make yourself sick? 01:30:17.454 --> 01:30:18.788 Did you do it for Christ? 01:30:26.296 --> 01:30:29.424 I'm sorry, it's... It's really not my place to ask. 01:30:31.092 --> 01:30:32.344 You can turn around. 01:30:43.563 --> 01:30:46.316 I thought I was doing it for Christ. 01:30:47.943 --> 01:30:48.985 Or, 01:30:50.987 --> 01:30:53.156 just to be a better nun, 01:30:55.367 --> 01:30:57.869 but maybe I also thought that 01:31:01.414 --> 01:31:03.959 if I made myself starve on the outside, 01:31:04.709 --> 01:31:06.252 I wouldn't feel myself 01:31:08.588 --> 01:31:10.215 starving as much on the inside. 01:31:11.800 --> 01:31:13.134 What are you starving for? 01:31:16.554 --> 01:31:17.806 I don't know. 01:31:37.033 --> 01:31:38.493 EMANUEL: "Let not your heart be troubled. 01:31:40.954 --> 01:31:43.581 "You believe in God. Believe also in me. 01:31:44.582 --> 01:31:46.710 "In my Father's house, there are many rooms. 01:31:47.544 --> 01:31:48.628 "Were it not so, 01:31:48.712 --> 01:31:50.130 -"I should have told you..." - Will you please stop? 01:31:51.589 --> 01:31:52.924 I'm sorry. 01:31:54.009 --> 01:31:55.969 I'm sorry, did I do something wrong? 01:32:01.433 --> 01:32:02.434 I don't understand. 01:32:10.984 --> 01:32:13.820 You can just keep reading. Please go back to reading, please. 01:32:16.740 --> 01:32:17.824 Just read. I'm sorry. 01:32:23.371 --> 01:32:24.497 (SIGHS) 01:33:16.007 --> 01:33:18.593 No, that was a mistake. I'm sorry. 01:33:18.676 --> 01:33:19.886 - It's my fault. - That was my fault. 01:33:19.969 --> 01:33:20.970 I'm sorry. That was a mistake. 01:33:21.054 --> 01:33:23.389 - I'm sorry, it was my fault. - No, it's me. I have to go. 01:33:24.766 --> 01:33:25.767 (DOOR CLOSES) 01:33:25.850 --> 01:33:27.143 So stupid of... 01:33:29.938 --> 01:33:32.440 (BELL TOLLING) 01:33:42.659 --> 01:33:44.119 (YELLING) 01:33:46.496 --> 01:33:47.580 (SIGHS) 01:33:47.705 --> 01:33:49.332 (BELL CONTINUES TOLLING) 01:33:49.707 --> 01:33:52.961 EMANUEL: Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. 01:33:53.545 --> 01:33:55.880 Where there is hatred, let me sow love, 01:33:56.840 --> 01:33:58.883 where there is injury, pardon, 01:33:59.384 --> 01:34:01.010 where there is doubt, faith, 01:34:02.262 --> 01:34:03.972 where there is despair, hope, 01:34:04.514 --> 01:34:06.099 where there is sadness, joy, 01:34:06.558 --> 01:34:08.101 where there is darkness, light. 01:34:08.601 --> 01:34:10.145 Oh, Divine Master, 01:34:10.436 --> 01:34:13.690 grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, 01:34:14.149 --> 01:34:18.153 to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. 01:34:20.530 --> 01:34:22.782 Love, love, love. 01:34:23.449 --> 01:34:24.659 Love. 01:34:25.743 --> 01:34:29.706 (BELL TOLLING) 01:34:42.844 --> 01:34:45.513 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 01:34:58.943 --> 01:35:00.195 Sisters. 01:35:00.778 --> 01:35:02.155 I have an announcement. 01:35:03.072 --> 01:35:05.992 I apologize that this has taken so long, 01:35:07.076 --> 01:35:09.871 but there's something very important 01:35:09.954 --> 01:35:12.790 that I've been meaning to inform you of. 01:35:13.458 --> 01:35:15.543 I'm sure, by now, 01:35:15.627 --> 01:35:19.422 at least a few of you have heard of something called Vatican ll. 01:35:20.465 --> 01:35:21.716 In a nutshell, 01:35:22.842 --> 01:35:25.553 there's been a series of meetings in Rome 01:35:26.846 --> 01:35:28.598 over the past three years. 01:35:30.225 --> 01:35:33.770 These meetings have been principally concerned with revisions 01:35:33.853 --> 01:35:35.521 that the Pope and others 01:35:35.980 --> 01:35:39.776 felt necessary to ensure the survival 01:35:41.194 --> 01:35:42.403 of our Church. 01:35:45.865 --> 01:35:50.078 I, myself, couldn't be more pleased 01:35:50.453 --> 01:35:52.580 with the results of Vatican ll. 01:35:53.998 --> 01:35:59.796 Pope John XXIII was nothing short of a visionary 01:35:59.879 --> 01:36:01.756 in terms of... 01:36:04.884 --> 01:36:06.427 In terms... 01:36:09.472 --> 01:36:11.057 Well, let's not belabor it. 01:36:11.724 --> 01:36:16.646 I will read this letter from the Archdiocese. 01:36:17.355 --> 01:36:18.773 A letter, 01:36:19.983 --> 01:36:22.277 regarding certain reforms 01:36:22.360 --> 01:36:26.155 which we will be adopting immediately. 01:36:30.451 --> 01:36:32.870 "From now on, please be advised 01:36:32.954 --> 01:36:37.166 "that priests are no longer required to read the liturgy in Latin 01:36:37.458 --> 01:36:40.753 "and should face the congregation during Mass. 01:36:42.839 --> 01:36:46.092 (TEARFULLY) "All Catholics are further encouraged to embrace 01:36:46.384 --> 01:36:49.512 "the idea of full religious tolerance. 01:36:49.595 --> 01:36:53.224 "While we may not share the same beliefs as others, 01:36:53.308 --> 01:36:55.393 "we will honor and respect 01:36:55.476 --> 01:36:59.605 "each and every individual's belief as their own. 01:37:00.648 --> 01:37:04.694 "Please be advised also that all nuns 01:37:04.777 --> 01:37:08.489 "and women religious, cloistered and non-cloistered, 01:37:10.199 --> 01:37:14.412 "are no longer required to wear the traditional habit 01:37:15.288 --> 01:37:18.958 "as a symbol of their lifelong matrimony to Christ. 01:37:19.792 --> 01:37:20.918 "In fact, 01:37:22.920 --> 01:37:25.673 "they are now free to wear what they want. 01:37:28.092 --> 01:37:31.179 "Regarding the culture of more extreme abnegation 01:37:31.262 --> 01:37:35.350 "and self-punishment still prevalent in many communities today, 01:37:36.434 --> 01:37:38.978 "please be advised that according to the Council, 01:37:39.062 --> 01:37:41.064 "this is no longer understood 01:37:42.899 --> 01:37:45.193 "to be the appropriate path to follow 01:37:45.276 --> 01:37:48.154 "for all those seeking greater union with Christ. 01:37:48.905 --> 01:37:50.782 "It is no longer acceptable 01:37:50.865 --> 01:37:54.619 "to view any acts of extreme sacrifice 01:37:55.912 --> 01:37:57.705 "as an act of love. 01:37:58.539 --> 01:37:59.749 (CRYING) "Finally, 01:38:01.751 --> 01:38:03.211 "from here forward, 01:38:03.461 --> 01:38:08.424 "in the eyes of both the Holy Church and God, 01:38:10.635 --> 01:38:13.471 "the status of all nuns shall be reduced as equal 01:38:13.554 --> 01:38:18.810 "to that of any regular practicing Catholic. 01:38:18.893 --> 01:38:23.022 "While the choice to enter the convent remains one's own, 01:38:23.898 --> 01:38:26.567 (VOICE BREAKING) "this does not necessarily make nuns any more 01:38:28.903 --> 01:38:31.447 "beloved or special 01:38:32.657 --> 01:38:34.409 "in the eyes of God." 01:38:38.579 --> 01:38:42.667 I am deeply sorry, Sisters. 01:38:43.709 --> 01:38:44.877 Have a pleasant day. 01:38:52.552 --> 01:38:54.095 -(NUNS WEEPING) -(DOOR CLOSES) 01:38:56.973 --> 01:39:00.226 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:39:06.524 --> 01:39:08.234 REVEREND MOTHER: Where are you? 01:39:14.031 --> 01:39:18.911 I can feel you, right next to me, for so long. 01:39:19.454 --> 01:39:20.663 With me 01:39:22.623 --> 01:39:26.127 all that time, my darling husband. 01:39:28.921 --> 01:39:31.924 And now you've abandoned me. 01:39:39.599 --> 01:39:41.100 And you hoped 01:39:42.351 --> 01:39:44.437 that I would lose faith in you? 01:39:47.190 --> 01:39:51.527 You imagined that I would just walk out those gates? 01:39:55.823 --> 01:39:57.366 I cannot. 01:40:01.162 --> 01:40:02.705 I made a commitment 01:40:04.665 --> 01:40:06.167 forty years ago. 01:40:08.377 --> 01:40:12.340 And even if you choose to turn your light from me forever... 01:40:17.553 --> 01:40:20.515 I am yours. (LAUGHS) 01:40:23.809 --> 01:40:25.770 Oh, my darling husband. 01:40:30.066 --> 01:40:31.734 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 01:40:59.178 --> 01:41:00.471 You can't be here. 01:41:08.521 --> 01:41:09.522 Okay. 01:41:19.865 --> 01:41:20.866 Okay. 01:41:35.047 --> 01:41:36.215 It's okay. 01:41:36.299 --> 01:41:37.633 (DOOR CLOSES) 01:41:47.268 --> 01:41:48.436 (SNIFFLES) 01:41:50.688 --> 01:41:51.897 (SIGHS) 01:42:06.871 --> 01:42:08.247 Do you remember... 01:42:14.086 --> 01:42:16.464 Do you remember when you asked what I was starving for? 01:42:24.597 --> 01:42:25.931 I just want to be comforted. 01:42:28.976 --> 01:42:31.103 Please, will you just comfort me? 01:42:37.318 --> 01:42:38.903 Please, will you just... Please, will you just... 01:42:39.278 --> 01:42:40.488 Will you, please? Just... 01:42:49.330 --> 01:42:51.874 Please, will you just comfort me? Please, please, please. 01:42:54.794 --> 01:42:58.381 Please, will you just comfort me? Please, will you just comfort me? 01:43:01.509 --> 01:43:02.885 I can't. 01:43:05.971 --> 01:43:09.058 Please, I just want to be comforted. Please, please, please. 01:43:12.395 --> 01:43:13.604 Please. 01:43:13.688 --> 01:43:15.106 (SHUSHING) 01:43:19.610 --> 01:43:21.112 - Okay. - Please comfort me. 01:43:21.195 --> 01:43:23.489 - I will. I will comfort you. - Please, please, please. 01:43:23.572 --> 01:43:24.824 Okay. Okay. Okay. 01:43:24.907 --> 01:43:26.158 (SHUSHES) 01:43:31.372 --> 01:43:33.666 (CATHLEEN BREATHING HEAVILY) 01:43:39.964 --> 01:43:41.590 Please, please, please. 01:43:41.674 --> 01:43:45.594 Okay. Okay. Stop talking. 01:43:50.349 --> 01:43:51.350 Please. 01:44:03.946 --> 01:44:05.698 Please, just comfort me. Please, please. 01:44:07.700 --> 01:44:08.743 Please. 01:44:16.751 --> 01:44:19.253 (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) 01:44:28.888 --> 01:44:30.264 - Please, please. - Okay, okay. 01:44:30.347 --> 01:44:32.600 - Please, please. - Okay, okay. 01:44:36.771 --> 01:44:37.897 Comfort me. 01:44:43.903 --> 01:44:45.613 REVEREND MOTHER: I take it you're feeling better? 01:44:49.533 --> 01:44:52.661 Yes. I am. 01:44:53.412 --> 01:44:54.622 Thank you. 01:44:55.998 --> 01:44:59.919 I appreciate the devotion you showed, starving yourself for Christ. 01:45:00.795 --> 01:45:01.879 Thank you, Mother. 01:45:04.298 --> 01:45:07.176 So, a few bumps here and there, 01:45:07.259 --> 01:45:10.304 but mostly you have been exceptional during your training. 01:45:11.931 --> 01:45:14.099 I believe you belong here with us, Sister. 01:45:15.351 --> 01:45:16.811 Doesn't that make you happy? 01:45:18.062 --> 01:45:19.146 Yes. 01:45:20.481 --> 01:45:21.690 Of course. 01:45:22.900 --> 01:45:24.068 Of course I'm happy. 01:45:25.152 --> 01:45:26.320 I... 01:45:27.279 --> 01:45:28.531 Uh... 01:45:29.865 --> 01:45:33.285 I don't know how much you've heard about this Vatican ll? 01:45:35.454 --> 01:45:36.872 Not much, 01:45:36.956 --> 01:45:38.582 just little things I've heard here and there 01:45:38.666 --> 01:45:40.000 from some of the others. 01:45:43.879 --> 01:45:45.464 When I first came here... 01:45:47.925 --> 01:45:51.887 When I first came to this convent, I had nothing. 01:45:55.266 --> 01:45:58.769 No home, no family, nothing. 01:46:02.606 --> 01:46:06.277 The Church is the only thing that ever held me. 01:46:07.528 --> 01:46:08.946 It gave me my work, 01:46:10.072 --> 01:46:11.282 my community, 01:46:12.032 --> 01:46:13.367 even my identity. 01:46:15.452 --> 01:46:21.041 And now Vatican ll is trying to invalidate all that, for all of us. 01:46:23.168 --> 01:46:25.004 Saying none of it matters. 01:46:27.381 --> 01:46:28.841 So, my question is, 01:46:29.884 --> 01:46:32.887 what is it that really does still matter? 01:46:55.242 --> 01:46:56.493 Sister? 01:46:59.496 --> 01:47:03.125 (BELL TOLLING) 01:47:05.294 --> 01:47:08.213 CHARLOTTE: So much has changed since we were postulants. 01:47:10.633 --> 01:47:13.344 I know that when I first had my vocation, 01:47:14.470 --> 01:47:15.846 that it was real. 01:47:16.472 --> 01:47:17.932 It was a real vocation. 01:47:19.808 --> 01:47:23.062 Really, truly, His voice calling to me. 01:47:29.735 --> 01:47:31.904 I just don't know sometimes 01:47:31.987 --> 01:47:34.531 if that was what He was really calling me for. 01:47:36.659 --> 01:47:38.869 Maybe He wants something else for me. 01:47:41.163 --> 01:47:43.707 Maybe He never meant for me to be a nun at all... 01:47:48.087 --> 01:47:51.131 Just wants me to be happy and be good to others. 01:47:54.593 --> 01:47:57.721 Or maybe not. 01:48:04.019 --> 01:48:08.607 For your penance, I'd like you to say three extra Hail Marys at bedtime. 01:48:09.191 --> 01:48:10.526 You can do it quickly if you'd like. 01:48:16.323 --> 01:48:17.658 Sister Cathleen. 01:48:19.076 --> 01:48:20.703 Come to the center of the room, please. 01:48:30.295 --> 01:48:33.882 You have any accusations you'd like to share with us? Hmm? 01:48:35.801 --> 01:48:36.844 Faults? 01:48:42.391 --> 01:48:43.892 - Do you hear me, Sister? - Yes. 01:48:51.483 --> 01:48:52.943 I want to accuse myself. 01:48:54.737 --> 01:48:58.282 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 01:49:00.951 --> 01:49:02.494 I accuse myself of having feelings. 01:49:04.580 --> 01:49:05.998 "Feelings"? 01:49:08.208 --> 01:49:10.169 Feelings I'm not sure I'm supposed to have. 01:49:13.672 --> 01:49:15.382 Like wanting to be with another person 01:49:20.596 --> 01:49:21.889 in a way that made me 01:49:23.932 --> 01:49:24.933 feel... 01:49:25.017 --> 01:49:26.435 Feel what? 01:49:28.395 --> 01:49:29.396 Comforted. 01:49:31.607 --> 01:49:32.816 Wanted. 01:49:34.359 --> 01:49:35.486 Loved. 01:49:37.571 --> 01:49:38.947 I wanted someone to touch me. 01:49:41.158 --> 01:49:43.827 I wanted someone to make me feel something more than God can give me. 01:49:43.911 --> 01:49:45.454 More than God can give you? 01:49:46.246 --> 01:49:47.372 What do you mean? 01:49:47.748 --> 01:49:50.459 - Explain yourself. - I don't know how to explain myself. 01:49:51.251 --> 01:49:52.461 (SNIFFLING) 01:49:53.587 --> 01:49:55.255 I'm accusing myself of being intimate with someone. 01:49:55.506 --> 01:49:57.925 - Intimate? - With another Sister. 01:49:58.801 --> 01:50:00.010 Feeling love for her. 01:50:02.387 --> 01:50:04.515 And I don't think it was a sin. I don't think it was a sin. 01:50:04.598 --> 01:50:07.810 Because it didn't feel like a sin. It felt like I'm supposed to feel. 01:50:08.352 --> 01:50:09.603 A particular friendship? 01:50:10.854 --> 01:50:12.189 With someone in this room? 01:50:14.900 --> 01:50:16.360 - Who? - I'm not going to say, Mother. 01:50:16.443 --> 01:50:17.444 I did what you asked. 01:50:17.528 --> 01:50:20.280 I made my confession. Will you just give me my penance? 01:50:20.489 --> 01:50:24.535 I want you to tell me exactly what you did and with whom. 01:50:24.618 --> 01:50:26.036 No, I did what you asked, I made my accusation. 01:50:26.120 --> 01:50:27.788 - Will you just give me my penance? - Do you want your penance? 01:50:27.871 --> 01:50:29.456 Yes, I want my penance. Please just give me my penance. 01:50:29.957 --> 01:50:31.333 You want your penance, Cathleen? 01:50:31.416 --> 01:50:33.877 Yes, I just want my penance. Please just give me my penance. 01:50:33.961 --> 01:50:35.420 You do? You want your penance? 01:50:36.213 --> 01:50:38.423 (SOBBING) Yes, I just want my penance. I want my penance, please. 01:50:38.507 --> 01:50:40.259 - Do you want your penance? - Please, yes. 01:50:43.345 --> 01:50:44.763 Please give it to me. 01:50:45.430 --> 01:50:50.435 I want you to crawl around this room 01:50:50.519 --> 01:50:55.023 and ask this group for your penance. 01:50:55.107 --> 01:50:57.442 I just want my penance. Please, I beg you. Please. Please. 01:50:58.402 --> 01:50:59.862 I'm begging you, please. 01:51:01.363 --> 01:51:03.365 (HEAVING SOBS) 01:51:03.448 --> 01:51:04.825 I'm begging you 01:51:08.036 --> 01:51:10.539 Please, I'm begging you. Please, please. 01:51:14.710 --> 01:51:16.795 I'm begging you, please. 01:51:16.879 --> 01:51:18.755 (CATHLEEN CONTINUES SOBBING) 01:51:39.985 --> 01:51:41.945 (WHISPERING) I don't understand. Where is everyone? 01:51:43.447 --> 01:51:44.531 Gone. 01:51:44.865 --> 01:51:46.408 Gone? What do you mean, "gone"? 01:51:47.117 --> 01:51:48.327 Didn't you hear? 01:51:49.119 --> 01:51:50.996 It's because of Vatican ll. 01:51:53.498 --> 01:51:55.209 Now and forever. God bless, Sister. 01:51:57.461 --> 01:52:00.047 You three are late. ls everyone here now? 01:52:05.093 --> 01:52:08.472 Why are there only five dresses? Where's Sister Emanuel? 01:52:08.555 --> 01:52:10.432 Sister Emanuel's dress will not be needed anymore 01:52:10.515 --> 01:52:11.725 because Sister Emanuel left. 01:52:12.267 --> 01:52:14.269 She's not going to be taking vows with the rest of you. 01:52:14.353 --> 01:52:15.771 What do you mean, she left? Where'd she go? 01:52:15.854 --> 01:52:17.731 I have no idea, she just left. That's all. 01:52:17.814 --> 01:52:19.650 I guess she didn't want to be a nun anymore. 01:52:20.567 --> 01:52:22.236 (NOVICES GIGGLING) 01:52:23.528 --> 01:52:25.530 CATHLEEN: I don't know if this is something 01:52:25.614 --> 01:52:27.532 that I need to figure out on my own. 01:52:28.825 --> 01:52:30.369 I'll do whatever it takes. 01:52:32.204 --> 01:52:33.872 If you want me to stay, then I'll stay. 01:52:38.669 --> 01:52:41.755 But I can't tell if that's what you want anymore. 01:52:41.880 --> 01:52:43.882 I can't hear you, and I don't know. 01:52:47.803 --> 01:52:50.597 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 01:52:54.434 --> 01:52:58.188 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:53:24.631 --> 01:53:28.593 (BELLS TOLLING) 01:53:28.719 --> 01:53:31.930 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:54:12.346 --> 01:54:13.805 PRIEST: I pray and beseech thee 01:54:15.057 --> 01:54:17.601 -that each of these dear pledges... - WOMAN: Is he speaking English? 01:54:17.684 --> 01:54:19.019 ...of Jesus and Mary, 01:54:19.686 --> 01:54:22.856 their being preserved from all uncleanness. 01:54:23.231 --> 01:54:26.943 Thy may with spotless mind, pure heart and a chaste body 01:54:27.986 --> 01:54:32.616 serve Jesus and Mary most chastely all the days of my life. 01:54:32.699 --> 01:54:33.700 Amen. 01:54:39.539 --> 01:54:40.999 What is it you seek? 01:54:42.376 --> 01:54:45.170 I seek to take the vows 01:54:45.420 --> 01:54:50.801 of chastity, poverty and obedience. 01:54:52.344 --> 01:54:53.637 To give my life 01:54:54.888 --> 01:54:57.015 to God for eternity. 01:54:58.100 --> 01:55:03.814 To be married forever to our Lord Jesus Christ. 01:55:05.690 --> 01:55:09.152 PRIEST: Bride of Christ, you are now professed. 01:55:27.712 --> 01:55:29.589 PRIEST: What is it you desire? 01:55:34.302 --> 01:55:35.554 With the help of God, 01:55:37.222 --> 01:55:39.141 I have come to know in this community 01:55:41.143 --> 01:55:43.687 both the difficulty and joy 01:55:44.771 --> 01:55:46.898 of a life completely devoted to Him. 01:55:50.485 --> 01:55:53.905 My desire is to make permanent profession 01:55:55.407 --> 01:55:56.741 within this community 01:55:59.411 --> 01:56:01.455 and to wear the holy habit of the Rose. 01:56:02.164 --> 01:56:03.915 PRIEST: And what is it you seek? 01:56:04.082 --> 01:56:07.419 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:56:19.764 --> 01:56:20.891 I seek... (SIGHS) 01:56:22.809 --> 01:56:24.060 What do I seek? 01:56:28.899 --> 01:56:30.192 What do I seek? 01:56:42.704 --> 01:56:43.955 I seek... 01:56:47.459 --> 01:56:48.793 I seek something more. 01:57:14.778 --> 01:57:18.990 (CHORAL HYMN PLAYING) 01:57:19.305 --> 01:57:25.788 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 95280

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