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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:22,220 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,833 Hey, excuse me! Have you seen my wallet somewhere? 3 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,875 Sorry! 4 00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:20,125 Hi, have you found a wallet? 5 00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:25,500 Really? 6 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,917 It’s a black leather wallet. 7 00:07:09,958 --> 00:07:14,958 Johannes Müller, yes. My wallet got stolen. 8 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,958 I’d like to block my credit card. 9 00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:20,333 Yes, ok. 10 00:07:21,958 --> 00:07:23,083 The IBAN? 11 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:24,644 Erm... 12 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,208 The number? 13 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,485 What was that? 14 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:34,921 Er, just, I have to... 15 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,493 I have to block my cards, um... 16 00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,529 ..because my wallet got stolen. 17 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,965 I don't know. Just a fucker, 18 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,834 you know, stole... 19 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,936 I'm sure you just lost it - it's fine. It's gone. 20 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:52,939 Yeah, sure. How do you know that, that I lost it? 21 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:59,109 Oh, fuck, man, I don't know. You think I'm stupid and rich? 22 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,213 No, I think you're clever and poor. 23 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,582 I cannot believe it, man. 24 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,518 It's the second time this summer I lost my wallet. 25 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,253 Same procedure, all over again. 26 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,191 Oh. 27 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,025 - Oh, holy shit. - What? 28 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:16,727 I've been in this club for, like, two days. 29 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,496 - Classy! - I'm leaving Berlin tonight. 30 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,030 I haven't seen any of the city 31 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:21,499 and I need to print my fucking boarding pass. 32 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,567 Yeah. 33 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:24,136 I can show you around if you like. 34 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,106 Really? You don't... You don't have to. 35 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:31,175 Yeah, I think I would be a fool if I wouldn't. 36 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,762 Oh, OK. 37 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,131 - So, list game. - Yeah? 38 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,699 - Yeah. - Let's go for it. 39 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,635 Erm... 40 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,236 Dixis or actual toilets? 41 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,071 What? 42 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:41,641 I saw a Dixi over there. I don't know. 43 00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,277 - Er, anal or oral? - You didn't answer my question, 44 00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,079 - so I will not answer yours. - Answer my question. 45 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:50,814 What was your question? I didn't hear. 46 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,150 OK, so, hummus or peanut butter? 47 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,687 Hummus. Anal or oral? 48 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,422 You said that before. You asked... 49 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:00,157 You didn't answer it. 50 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,792 You don't ask the question twice, so I am. 51 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,761 Minus point for you. 52 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,195 Oh, wow! 53 00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:07,364 So, sunrise or sunset? 54 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,267 Er... 55 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,238 Sunset. Having a blow job 56 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,939 or getting a blow job? Sorry. 57 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,443 Giving a blow job or having a blow job given to you? 58 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:24,016 I can't... I can't hear you. 59 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,451 Er... 60 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:28,752 - That's a hard one. - Is it? 61 00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,054 Ha-ha! No pun intended. 62 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,960 Ah, let's say both. So, um... 63 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,196 Are you getting hard? 64 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,998 I am getting slightly hard, yeah. Do you wanna... 65 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,933 - Oh, fuck. - ..sit back a little? 66 00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,303 No, no. I will crash into a tree if you touch me. 67 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,374 OK. Top or bottom? 68 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:52,843 Er... 69 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:53,813 Oh, we have green light. Let's go. 70 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:02,822 Hello. 71 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,625 - May I have a computer, please? - Hi! Yes. Number ten. 72 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:07,875 Thanks! 73 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,094 I fucking love these places. They're so '90s. 74 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,795 - Yeah? - I remember, like, 75 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,997 the first cyber internet cafe in Nottingham 76 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,234 and I used to have all these international cyber boyfriends 77 00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:17,501 and we used to talk to each other 78 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,070 in a disgustingly dirty way. 79 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,873 Oh-ho! So, you jerked off in public on Windows 95 or what? 80 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,775 Who do you think I am? 81 00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:25,311 It was Windows 97. 82 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,216 Oh. It's Harry Munro. 83 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,917 Mm. 84 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,452 Well, hello, nice to meet you, 85 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,387 Mr Harry Munro. I'm your biggest fan. 86 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,456 - Nice to meet you. - Can I have an autograph? 87 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,292 No, you can't. It's nice to meet you too, though, Mr... 88 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:42,928 Wait. Let me... Let me guess. 89 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,097 Daniel? 90 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:47,833 Callum? 91 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,535 No, no, I've got it. 92 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:52,936 Adolf. 93 00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,506 Yes, please. 94 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,541 It's Johannes. 95 00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:58,277 Nice to meet you, Mr Johannes. 96 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,813 OK, so, my flight is at 11pm... 97 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,481 - Mm. - ..from Sho-nen-field. 98 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:05,916 Sch nefeld. 99 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,417 From Sho-ne... 100 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,952 Sch nefeld. 101 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,120 Sch nefell? 102 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,322 Sch nefeld. 103 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,358 - I really couldn't give a shit. - Oh, OK. 104 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,492 My flight's at 11pm from Sch nefeld. 105 00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:17,261 Sch nefeld. 106 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,229 Oh, for fuck's sake. 107 00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:20,364 I've got, like, a million e-mails from work. 108 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,233 Oh. 109 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,867 I'm not gonna bother with that now. 110 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:24,336 Let me just check one thing. 111 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,176 Oh, football. Are you fucking kidding me? 112 00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,312 Oh, fuck, yes, we beat the bastards! 113 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,580 Don't you like sport? 114 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,482 Yes, but not football. 115 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,818 I like elegant sport - 116 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,886 - for example, gymnastics. - Mm-hm. 117 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:43,889 - Synchronised swimming or... - Mm-hm. 118 00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:47,927 I'll show you something. This is insane. 119 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:52,095 - You know about diving? - Mm. 120 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:56,268 And the bodies of these athletes 121 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,503 are, like, from another planet. 122 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,071 Look at this. 123 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:18,891 - That's amazing. - Mm. 124 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,028 Shame it was Nazi propaganda, though. 125 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:28,198 Wait - why don't you like football? 126 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,168 Oh, you know, 11 idiots running after a ball and both teams, 127 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,170 too, are waiting for them 128 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,038 and you need to put a ball into a square. 129 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,573 Like, I think there are 130 00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:38,542 more interesting things in the world. 131 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,378 OK, Mr Black-And-White Films. 132 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,314 Don't tell me it wasn't beautiful. 133 00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:45,883 - It was beautiful. - I saw you cry. 134 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,318 I didn't cry. But it was beautiful. 135 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,486 It was the reflection in your glasses. 136 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,022 OK, shut up. 137 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,156 OK, what we doing now? We've got 17 minutes left. 138 00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,260 Hmm... 139 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,094 Let's make a photo and send it 140 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,061 out in the universe of the internet. 141 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,464 - Boring! - OK. 142 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,033 Why don't we do a Chatroulette instead? That sounds great. 143 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:06,169 Chatroulette - what's that? This website with, um, 144 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,005 people in front of camera, like, I don't know, 145 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,640 - practising fisting... - Mm-hm. 146 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,375 - ..and gangbang and stuff? - Yeah, exactly. 147 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:12,144 - OK. - What we should be doing. 148 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,514 - Oh, shit. - What? 149 00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,950 This does not have a computer camera - that's so annoying. 150 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,987 - Oh, no. - I should've known that in 1990 151 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,256 Well, thank you, Berlin. 152 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:26,959 - Wait. - Sorry. 153 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,460 I have an idea. 154 00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,129 - Yeah, just... - What? 155 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,263 Take your face and move it like this. 156 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,564 Hey, be careful. 157 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:36,166 Yeah, no, it's... 158 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,567 - Don't move. That's perfect. - OK. 159 00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:39,703 Hmm? 160 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:42,172 Oh, just Paint still exist? 161 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,373 It does indeed. 162 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:44,276 Oh, wow! 163 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:48,180 So gorgeous. 164 00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:54,286 Oh, you little bastard. I look like a football... 165 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,721 - I'm just drawing what I see. - ..with Dumbo ears. 166 00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,990 Fuck you. Now it's my turn. 167 00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:00,693 - Turn and face... - OK. 168 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:07,064 See how Picasso is drawing this. 169 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:07,633 Picasso. 170 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:10,634 I like it. 171 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,403 Oh, I'm sorry. 172 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,072 Oh, that's not even funny. 173 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,107 That's not even funny. 174 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,408 Let's give it a blue background. 175 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,278 Yes. 176 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,680 - Print. - Mm. 177 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,624 So...? 178 00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:36,693 So? 179 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,996 Any other amazing ideas? 180 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,299 Mm, I've got a few on my mind. 181 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,067 - So, where next? - We've got the tickets. 182 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,168 Yes. 183 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,005 Erm... 184 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,440 What? 185 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,242 Did... Did I not put my bike here? 186 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:53,543 Fuck! 187 00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:55,312 Oh, shit. 188 00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,215 - Erm... - Erm... OK. 189 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,283 Sorry. 190 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:01,752 OK, we have to go to 191 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,054 - the police straightaway. - We can't. 192 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:04,656 We're too high to go to the police. Don't be stupid. 193 00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:13,958 [Harry tries to read in German.] 194 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:22,775 - Oh! - Sh! 195 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,158 The German language is so sexy. 196 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,226 Can you just speak to me in German continuously? 197 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,328 - Can you, please? - I forgot all my language. 198 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,164 You've forgotten all your language but you know English? 199 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,166 Yeah, but all the German is gone. 200 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,634 It's too much in my head. Too much... 201 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,435 Talk anyway... 202 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:55,375 Car-wash-ma-chi-ne. 203 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,833 Herr Müller? 204 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:00,512 Hate to watch him go. 205 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:38,750 Where were you? 206 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,185 Fancied a smoke. 207 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:42,688 Fair enough. 208 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,125 It wasn't fun anyway, so... 209 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:48,427 What did they say? 210 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,396 Oh, there were some problems... 211 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,667 ..with my lost wallet, 212 00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:59,505 so I couldn't give my personalities and so on. 213 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,140 - I have to come again. - Sorry. 214 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:03,575 It's fine. 215 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:09,279 Hmm. Please, let's do something fun. 216 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,514 - Yes! - Drink prosecco? 217 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:11,316 Yes! 218 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,552 - Can we go back a bit, cos... - OK. 219 00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:16,887 Let me get this straight - 220 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,555 you actually genuinely think that... 221 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,423 That being gay puts you 222 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,526 in a privileged position in society? 223 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,394 Yeah, I think we have both brains develop 224 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,429 and therefore we have another sensibility. 225 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,165 Oh, my gosh! Is that the same sensibility as saying, 226 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,766 oh, the same difference 227 00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:31,535 - between lilac and purple... - Yes. 228 00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:32,903 ..or being a master of fashion at birth? 229 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,238 It's just... No, no. 230 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,507 This is just as stupid as saying that 231 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,243 every gay loves Barbra Streisand or Judy Garland 232 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,612 and who the fuck listens to Judy Garland anyway? 233 00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:46,783 Identify split ends in women's hair. Appreciating small boobs. 234 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,586 Or watching Eurovision Song Contest as gay revenge... 235 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,488 - Yeah. - ..for the World Cup. 236 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,789 Yeah, yeah. Cos all gays masturbate 237 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:55,358 to the fucking Eurovision. 238 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,693 Is there anything more straight than the YMCA dance? 239 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,762 ♪ YMCA 240 00:19:58,764 --> 00:19:59,331 ♪ It's fun to stay at the... ♪ 241 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,668 Wow! This is intense. 242 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,470 Yeah. 243 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,372 You know, there is nothing worse than being 244 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,974 surrounded by businessmen 245 00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:13,243 while you are high or coming down. 246 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,644 No. No, children. Children are worse. 247 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,513 Honestly, it's awful. I... 248 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,248 I feel like a paedophile and at any minute, 249 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,684 someone's gonna call me out on it. 250 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:21,685 - Do you ever get that? - No. Never. 251 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,520 - No? - No. 252 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,223 But I will rescue you from that. 253 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,591 We are away from there any minute. 254 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,594 Mm. Oh, wow! 255 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,797 This is a side of Berlin that I haven't seen before. 256 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,533 Lots of bankers and fancy hotels - 257 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,635 the new beating heart of neoliberalism 258 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,971 and the capital of Europe. 259 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,440 Do you know, I find it cute. 260 00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:44,574 You find neoliberalism cute? 261 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,344 No, kids. 262 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,711 Oh! Fair enough. 263 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:50,680 You know, my biggest dream is to become a father. 264 00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:51,350 Your biggest dream is to become a father? 265 00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,850 - Yes. - Wow! 266 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,719 You want to bring a kid into this mess of a world 267 00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:56,488 - we live in. - Oh, come on! I mean... 268 00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:02,926 - You think the world is a mess? - Yeah. 269 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,928 Yeah, yeah, we are fucking the world up 270 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,564 and the worst thing is that we think we're doing a lot 271 00:21:07,566 --> 00:21:10,834 by reducing and reusing plastic and it's not even about that. 272 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,502 It's all about the big companies 273 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:13,338 and the politicians who enable them. 274 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,740 Like, I watched a documentary the other day and it said... 275 00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,309 Another documentary - I know. 276 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,911 It was saying that over 70% of the world's greenhouse gases 277 00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,680 come from the word's biggest 100 companies. 278 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,048 - Yeah? - We don't need more people. 279 00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,450 Yeah, but... 280 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,052 I'm not sharing that thought. 281 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:32,022 I mean, don't you think, for example, 282 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:35,892 our child could help the world, being a better place? 283 00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:37,827 Sorry, did I just hear you say "our child"? 284 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:41,398 Oh! Yeah, ours, mine, yours. I mean... 285 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,499 Oh, hello. 286 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:43,335 Mm. 287 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:44,569 You know what I mean. 288 00:21:50,609 --> 00:21:53,078 So, my mother, you know, she... 289 00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:59,418 ..raised me with so much effort, energy and love... 290 00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:05,090 ..that I think I need to pass that on to somebody, you know? 291 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,393 - That's cute. - Thank you. 292 00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,631 So, if he's a he, 293 00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:18,601 we should call him Julian, for Julian Assange. 294 00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:21,004 And if she's a she - and she would definitely be a she - 295 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:21,940 we should call her... 296 00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,709 ..Cleopatra. 297 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:26,878 What?! That's... That's ridiculous. 298 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,350 Maria Cleopatra M ller Munro. 299 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,350 No, no, no, no. 300 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,419 Maria Cleopatra Munro M ller. 301 00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,888 Maria Cleopatra Munro/M ller, and here we go. 302 00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:40,790 Yeah. OK, then. 303 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,361 A compromise - I can work with that, I guess. 304 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,363 - Wie geht es dir? - Hi. 305 00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:47,708 We are not interested. 306 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,901 One of you guys sounds British - am I right? 307 00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:53,803 - Yeah, I'm from Devon. And you? - Nice. Nottingham. 308 00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:56,005 Nice. And you're living here? 309 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:57,674 No, I'm just here on a weekend break. 310 00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,143 How... How about you guys? 311 00:23:00,145 --> 00:23:02,712 I joined the mission about three months ago 312 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,481 and, er, I'll be... I'll be here for a year. 313 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:06,950 Yeah. 314 00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,485 So, you're making new friends or...? 315 00:23:08,487 --> 00:23:09,087 Yeah, what's wrong with that? 316 00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:12,858 So, what do you do? 317 00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:17,560 We just like to talk to people, 318 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:21,431 answer their questions and... 319 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:23,466 Do you think we need help? I don't think so. 320 00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:24,169 We don't need help, to be honest. So... 321 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,537 Hold up, Johannes. I'm... I'm interested. 322 00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:30,039 I guess my question would be... 323 00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:32,409 I don't know - why? 324 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,177 You guys are young and this, kind of, seems like, 325 00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:36,012 sort of old-fashioned. But I get... 326 00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:37,680 If you believe in God, everyone has the right 327 00:23:37,682 --> 00:23:39,582 to their own faith, but... 328 00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:41,718 I don't know. Why study an ageing book 329 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,187 that's full of, like, obnoxious and boring people? 330 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,156 And you must get abuse from the general public as well. 331 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:49,626 Like, why put yourselves through that? 332 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:52,595 Yeah, I understand what you're saying but we believe that 333 00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:54,166 the people of this world are suffering from 334 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:58,201 a lack of faith and religion. 335 00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:01,004 Society is becoming, er, more individualistic. 336 00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:04,140 And... 337 00:24:04,142 --> 00:24:08,144 religion is dying and nothing is there to fill that void. 338 00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:09,746 Yeah, I agree - society's lost something 339 00:24:09,748 --> 00:24:12,081 that holds us together 340 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,185 and often, religion does a lot of good things. 341 00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:16,453 Like, we see it at work all the time. 342 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,488 There are so many people that don't have access 343 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:21,524 to public health care or services, like asylum seekers. 344 00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:23,726 And it's often religious people or religious organisations 345 00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:25,462 that helps them out, so, yeah, I... 346 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,964 Sounds so cute and interesting, right? 347 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:31,000 What about eternal damnation? Hmm? 348 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,170 I know... I don't think it will bother you 349 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:36,005 but do we have a place in paradise left for us? 350 00:24:36,007 --> 00:24:39,509 God loves all his children. 351 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:42,545 There are many modern interpretations of the Bible. 352 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:45,748 And we believe there is a place for the both of you in heaven. 353 00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:47,484 Oh, wow! You know what? 354 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,718 I think I'd prefer it in hell, you know? 355 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,587 Kind of warm and sweaty, 356 00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:53,189 a lot of collars and harnesses 357 00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:55,558 and rings around the cocks and... 358 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,694 Really? You're gonna go there now? 359 00:24:57,696 --> 00:24:59,229 - Yeah. Why not? - Oh, no. You do you. It's fine. 360 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:02,098 Maybe you just want one? 361 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:03,702 Oh, yeah, they're always perfect for a wrap. Thank you. 362 00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,706 - Right. OK. Thank you. - Bye-bye. 363 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,040 Have a lovely day. 364 00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:11,576 - You too. Nice to meet you. - Ciao. 365 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:51,180 OK. 366 00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:52,584 You are a Manchego. 367 00:25:54,853 --> 00:25:56,586 As in the cheese? 368 00:25:56,588 --> 00:25:59,122 Mm. Kind of intense and hard. 369 00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:01,858 Looks more like Camembert. 370 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,259 I know. They didn't have a Manchego here but still... 371 00:26:03,261 --> 00:26:05,762 Hmm. 372 00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,664 OK. Tell me about that and where we're going with this. 373 00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:09,032 Everybody is a cheese. 374 00:26:09,034 --> 00:26:11,267 Not the cheese you like 375 00:26:11,269 --> 00:26:12,936 but you're kind of human cheese. 376 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:14,337 There are some people who are 377 00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:16,639 toxic and disgusting in a way. 378 00:26:16,641 --> 00:26:18,841 They're more like blue cheese. 379 00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:21,110 And these super-boring clean boys, 380 00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,213 they are more like Babybel. 381 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,081 OK, so, everyone's a cheese? 382 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:28,184 - Mm-hm. - OK, let's go with that. 383 00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:31,588 And, um, what kind of cheese would you be? 384 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:35,325 Like, um, Philadelphia - soft and sweet? 385 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:37,260 No, no, no, no, no. I'm a cheddar. 386 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,329 Yeah, more, like, 387 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:43,132 easy-going and tender. 388 00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:44,367 OK, you've thought about this for far too long, 389 00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:46,269 far too long. Stop now. 390 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,838 I have two weaknesses - 391 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,941 good food and men, in that order. 392 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:54,944 The gospel according to Dolly. 393 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,914 Mm. I can't stand all this pretentious rubbish. 394 00:26:57,916 --> 00:27:00,750 You see it everywhere in London. 395 00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:05,021 Like, a pop-up vegan bumhole cum-filled soul-food fusion. 396 00:27:05,023 --> 00:27:06,289 - It's just ridiculous. - Yeah? 397 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:08,124 - I don't like it. - No. 398 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:10,093 I think it's cool, you know, to have all these differences - 399 00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:12,762 kind of experimental. 400 00:27:12,764 --> 00:27:14,731 It's pushing the boundaries. 401 00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:17,800 It's bullshit. OK, first of all, 402 00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,102 they rip you off and then they hand you something 403 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:21,004 the size of a Mentos. 404 00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:24,207 A Mentos. 405 00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:27,276 And what's even worse is this, like, celebrity-chef culture. 406 00:27:27,278 --> 00:27:29,912 Every fucking middle-class person in the UK has 407 00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:32,915 a copy of Ottolenghi's cookbook for £20, 408 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:35,752 and then they spend £50 on the fucking ingredients 409 00:27:35,754 --> 00:27:38,087 that they can't find anywhere else, 410 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:41,658 like sheep testicles marinated in a bed of babies' tears. 411 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,693 Gold saffron. All this shit that you can never find... 412 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,228 I don't know what you're talking about. 413 00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:47,132 I'm sorry. Rant over. 414 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:52,135 So, what we gonna do - dine and dash? 415 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:54,971 When and what? 416 00:27:54,973 --> 00:27:56,973 You've lost your wallet, so I'm guessing 417 00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:58,941 all of this is on me, right? 418 00:27:58,943 --> 00:28:02,745 This is on the city of Berlin. 419 00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:05,114 How is the city of Berlin funding our date? 420 00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:07,717 So, we went through the back yard, 421 00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:10,420 and I've detected some blind spots 422 00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:13,224 where we are invisible for the reception, so... 423 00:28:14,259 --> 00:28:18,094 behave and then everything will be fine. 424 00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:20,396 Hmm - if we behave, everything will be fine. 425 00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:21,232 Isn't that sweet? 426 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:24,400 Do you take all your one-night stands here 427 00:28:24,402 --> 00:28:26,402 to make them feel special? 428 00:28:26,404 --> 00:28:30,909 No. I try to not come in here more than once a month, 429 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,846 Yeah, and the other thing - I'm not doing it at all. 430 00:28:36,848 --> 00:28:37,382 Yeah, right. 431 00:28:59,504 --> 00:29:02,739 Mm-hm. What the fuck are you doing? 432 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,108 Are you giving me a footsie with your cheap shoes? 433 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,976 Mm. 434 00:29:06,978 --> 00:29:09,479 Oh, hello. Ooh! 435 00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:10,315 - Mm. Mm! - Stop it. 436 00:29:12,984 --> 00:29:14,817 You're ruining my trousers, OK? 437 00:29:14,819 --> 00:29:17,386 It's a dirty business. 438 00:29:17,388 --> 00:29:19,756 And I'll get us a dessert now. 439 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,226 Mm! Sit down. I'll get this one. 440 00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:40,977 So, what are you doing? 441 00:29:40,979 --> 00:29:45,014 Hmm? I'm... enjoying a continental breakfast 442 00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:48,417 while stroking the crotch of a cute German boy. 443 00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:51,053 No, no, I mean in ordinary life. 444 00:29:51,055 --> 00:29:53,823 Oh, I'm... I'm a doctor. 445 00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:55,958 Oh, what? No, I don't believe you. 446 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,794 Why not? 447 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:00,530 I mean, the circumstances we met? 448 00:30:00,532 --> 00:30:02,865 You don't give off the doctor vibe so much. 449 00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:05,401 OK, and what is the doctor vibe? 450 00:30:05,403 --> 00:30:09,272 Fuck! When you were talking about work, work, work, work, 451 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:13,509 I was imagining you, like, working in a factory or, 452 00:30:13,511 --> 00:30:17,146 I don't know, as a butcher cutting meat in thin slices 453 00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:21,417 with an overall, gloves and a hairnet and things like that. 454 00:30:21,419 --> 00:30:24,153 OK, I guess it's the same sort of uniform, but... 455 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:25,123 OK, wow! 456 00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:30,193 You know what? I always find this weird. 457 00:30:30,195 --> 00:30:32,862 Whenever I tell someone I'm a doctor, I always get this 458 00:30:32,864 --> 00:30:35,364 same sort of reaction, like I should be proud 459 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:37,099 that I'm some sort of an elitist. 460 00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:38,467 I should be waving like the Queen. 461 00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:40,238 Like, "Oh, look at me. Hello, hello." 462 00:30:40,972 --> 00:30:43,072 So, what are you doing? 463 00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,875 I am a junior doctor working in A and E. 464 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,610 A and E? 465 00:30:47,612 --> 00:30:49,147 It's like... the emergency room. 466 00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:51,416 OK. 467 00:30:54,919 --> 00:30:57,587 So, how many lives did you save recently? 468 00:30:57,589 --> 00:30:59,322 Can we not talk about that? I didn't come to Berlin 469 00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:01,157 to talk about work, work, work. 470 00:31:01,159 --> 00:31:03,159 Sorry. 471 00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:06,996 But... wow! I mean, 472 00:31:06,998 --> 00:31:07,532 you've got your shit together. I mean... 473 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:11,200 Your parents must be proud. 474 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,970 Mm. They're, um, unhappy, but... 475 00:31:15,173 --> 00:31:15,607 ..extremely proud. 476 00:31:18,009 --> 00:31:19,143 We should move on. 477 00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:22,046 Oh, shit, all right. 478 00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,521 - So close. - Sorry. 479 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,246 You know, I think this is the first time I've been on a date 480 00:33:04,248 --> 00:33:05,583 without using Grindr or Tinder or anything like that. 481 00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:16,993 I haven't been on any Tinder date, to be honest. 482 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,695 Really? Well, how about Grindr? 483 00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:22,498 Mm. I mean, I downloaded the app for a while 484 00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:26,669 but I got bored of it straightaway. And... 485 00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,072 Yeah, I don't know, for me it's like cock shopping. 486 00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:35,745 Decent 24cm XXL top says "hi". 487 00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:39,315 Or Super Sucker, 22, is texting you, 488 00:33:39,317 --> 00:33:41,183 "Hi, wanna come over and suck my dick?" 489 00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,619 And... 490 00:33:43,621 --> 00:33:46,290 Is there a more sophisticated way to find sex? 491 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:50,259 Oh, my God. OK. Firstly, 492 00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:52,795 I don't think that sex has to be sophisticated. 493 00:33:52,797 --> 00:33:56,132 I mean, do you? And moreover, I think you're generally just, 494 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:58,267 like, clutching at straws. I don't think it's that bad. 495 00:33:58,269 --> 00:33:59,604 I... Like, it's not always like that, you know? 496 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,073 Well, then... 497 00:34:03,741 --> 00:34:05,241 ..show me your profile. 498 00:34:05,243 --> 00:34:07,045 OK. Here we go. 499 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,580 - I'm surprised. - Hmm? 500 00:34:11,582 --> 00:34:12,748 The first one's actually quite cool. 501 00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:14,283 Thank you. 502 00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:15,186 OK. Let's continue. 503 00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:19,157 - Topless. Sure. - Mm. 504 00:34:21,692 --> 00:34:24,093 Here we go. Football! 505 00:34:24,095 --> 00:34:27,196 Yes! Sure. 506 00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:29,665 And, wow! The doctor fetish. 507 00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:31,667 - In a lab coat. - Mm-hm. 508 00:34:31,669 --> 00:34:33,402 - OK, how about Grindr? - Mm. 509 00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:34,105 OK, Grindr. 510 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:41,312 OK, I think it's enough. 511 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,679 Thought it might be too much for you. 512 00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:46,148 This is nothing for me. 513 00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:46,551 - Sorry. - It's all right. 514 00:34:50,321 --> 00:34:52,788 But, you know, it's not that bad, Grindr. 515 00:34:52,790 --> 00:34:54,356 If it wasn't for Grindr, I wouldn't 516 00:34:54,358 --> 00:34:56,125 be able to have sex - simple as. 517 00:34:56,127 --> 00:34:58,394 - That sucks. - Why does it suck? 518 00:34:58,396 --> 00:35:00,362 Because... you don't meet people in a different way? That's... 519 00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:02,698 - It's not... - ..bad. 520 00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:03,732 It's not the how - it's the what. 521 00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:06,168 OK. 522 00:35:06,170 --> 00:35:09,305 You know, with Tinder, you can be more classy and gentle. 523 00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:11,273 Wow! 524 00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:13,175 On average, it takes me five glasses of wine 525 00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:14,543 and I can get drunk and sleep with someone, 526 00:35:14,545 --> 00:35:16,812 whereas with Grindr, it's... 527 00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:17,849 It's kind of the same but with less chat. 528 00:35:24,355 --> 00:35:25,256 You know, honestly, I scare myself sometimes. 529 00:35:27,692 --> 00:35:31,160 I-I go to work and I sleep with a random guy 530 00:35:31,162 --> 00:35:32,296 and it satisfies me for, like, 5, 10, 15 minutes 531 00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:34,563 and then I just... 532 00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:35,333 come and I feel... 533 00:35:37,335 --> 00:35:40,402 ..disgusting. 534 00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:41,606 It's like I just wanna chop my dick off, you know? 535 00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:53,749 OK, so, I have an idea. 536 00:35:53,751 --> 00:35:56,152 - Let's play a game. - OK. 537 00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:58,454 The game's about guessing 538 00:35:58,456 --> 00:36:00,589 what profession the people we see have. 539 00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,258 - How exciting. - OK. 540 00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:03,528 Yeah? I'll start. Um... 541 00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:08,430 This guy over there. What's his profession? 542 00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:10,666 - What's his profession? - Yeah. 543 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:12,668 I think he works in genetic mutations. 544 00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:15,671 What is that? 545 00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:16,641 When you, like, modify the DNA of, like... 546 00:36:19,410 --> 00:36:21,610 - ..stuff. - OK. 547 00:36:21,612 --> 00:36:22,813 Genetically modified tomatoes. 548 00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:26,682 What about... 549 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:27,218 those three over there? 550 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,554 Oh! They're like a family, 551 00:36:31,556 --> 00:36:32,788 like the royal family of Berlin. 552 00:36:32,790 --> 00:36:35,791 - OK. - But... 553 00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:38,327 they had a huge fight, you know? 554 00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:39,562 Like, they're actually not liking each other. 555 00:36:39,564 --> 00:36:41,397 Oh. 556 00:36:41,399 --> 00:36:43,334 And the man slept with the sister. 557 00:36:43,601 --> 00:36:45,968 Oh, wow! 558 00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:48,437 What about those two there? 559 00:36:48,439 --> 00:36:50,239 - Oh, wow. - Mm. 560 00:36:50,241 --> 00:36:51,874 - The kiss is kind of intense. - Yeah. 561 00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:52,376 Bit much, isn't it? 562 00:36:55,613 --> 00:36:57,580 Wait a minute. Is he fingering her? 563 00:36:57,582 --> 00:36:59,481 There might be a cheeky finger going in there. 564 00:36:59,483 --> 00:37:01,283 - It's kind of gross. - No, it's... 565 00:37:01,285 --> 00:37:03,552 - It's kind of good. - No. 566 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,321 Come on, it's cos they just only met each other 567 00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:06,956 and they're in love. In a few months, 568 00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:07,925 they'll have forgotten each other completely. 569 00:37:10,494 --> 00:37:11,827 Yeah. And then they end up like this couple over there. 570 00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:13,662 Oh, my God! 571 00:37:13,664 --> 00:37:15,264 Barely looking at each other and talking. 572 00:37:15,266 --> 00:37:17,633 - That's so sad. - No! It's cool. 573 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:18,968 If I end up like that, like, kill me. Like, no, thanks. 574 00:37:18,970 --> 00:37:21,403 No, that's actually... 575 00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:23,239 - Why? It's a victory of love. - Oh, God. 576 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:23,774 Probably they're not in the... 577 00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:29,278 ..start of, I don't know, their relationship or something. 578 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,647 But still, it's like another fire burning, you know? 579 00:37:31,649 --> 00:37:32,982 The silence is sexy. 580 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,817 - Really? - Yeah. 581 00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:36,752 I would rather be them than them. 582 00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:38,921 That just looks so boring. They look just sad. 583 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:41,457 I'd rather be like those two than those two. It's just... 584 00:37:41,459 --> 00:37:43,692 Well, OK. Well, I find it beautiful, though. 585 00:37:43,694 --> 00:37:46,962 You know, my parents are like that and it's... 586 00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:48,464 You don't have to speak about everything 587 00:37:48,466 --> 00:37:50,299 all the time, you know? 588 00:37:50,301 --> 00:37:52,768 It's only about love for them 589 00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,471 and, therefore, this is beautiful. 590 00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:56,839 If you say so. 591 00:37:56,841 --> 00:37:58,007 - OK. - How about you? 592 00:37:58,009 --> 00:38:00,042 Mm. 593 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:01,443 What do you do? 594 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:02,645 What do I do? 595 00:38:02,647 --> 00:38:04,013 - Yeah. - I dance. 596 00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:04,949 - Really? - Yes. 597 00:38:06,984 --> 00:38:09,051 And I deliver food by bike, OK? 598 00:38:09,053 --> 00:38:11,287 That's so cool. That you dance, I mean. 599 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:12,721 - That's really cool. - Thank you. 600 00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:14,358 - Good for you. - Erm... You know, I'm... 601 00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:17,660 My sister was going to dance class when we were younger... 602 00:38:17,662 --> 00:38:20,462 - Mm-hm. - And this is, like, 603 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:23,565 a memory that is, like, burned into my head like yesterday. 604 00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:25,934 And I remember my mother took me one day, with her, 605 00:38:25,936 --> 00:38:29,938 and when I entered that dancing classroom, 606 00:38:29,940 --> 00:38:31,840 there was, like, this old lady teaching. 607 00:38:31,842 --> 00:38:33,809 And she looked like she... 608 00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:36,879 I don't know, older than my grandma, sort of thing. 609 00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:38,516 But she could move. And when she started dancing... 610 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:43,552 I don't know - it was just like... 611 00:38:43,554 --> 00:38:44,953 Wow! 612 00:38:44,955 --> 00:38:49,091 She could move in ways 613 00:38:49,093 --> 00:38:51,560 that were so pure and so beautiful, you know? 614 00:38:51,562 --> 00:38:55,331 Since then, I'm obsessed with it. 615 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,066 Like... Oh, that's the thing I want to do. 616 00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:57,868 Mm. 617 00:39:00,371 --> 00:39:01,370 And what kind of dance do you do? 618 00:39:01,372 --> 00:39:02,340 Er... Whoa! 619 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,975 Look at the prosecco. 620 00:39:06,977 --> 00:39:09,011 Er, I do contemporary. 621 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,813 And a bit of physical theatre, though. 622 00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:13,082 I'm totally into Pina Bausch. 623 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:14,352 You know her? She's amazing. And DV8. 624 00:39:15,653 --> 00:39:17,119 Never heard of it. I don't know why I asked. Sorry. 625 00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:19,521 Ah, you have to watch them. 626 00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:21,090 They have, like, a lot of videos on the internet, 627 00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:22,791 and they are so amazing. 628 00:39:22,793 --> 00:39:23,627 What they express with their bodies... 629 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,963 - Unbelievable. - I kind of wanna see. 630 00:39:27,965 --> 00:39:29,565 - What? - You dance. 631 00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:31,533 - No. - Yeah. Go on. 632 00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:32,634 - No. - Why not? 633 00:39:32,636 --> 00:39:33,604 No way. I'm... No. 634 00:39:36,807 --> 00:39:39,875 Because I'm high and... 635 00:39:39,877 --> 00:39:41,011 And, I don't know, I'm, like... 636 00:39:48,753 --> 00:39:49,153 Well, because of you. 637 00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,992 I hate to say it but I don't think we're gonna get 638 00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:59,094 another chance for this, so I think... you should 639 00:39:59,096 --> 00:40:00,164 actually just stand up and dance right now. 640 00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,968 Come on. Like, I might never, ever see you. 641 00:40:05,970 --> 00:40:08,070 - I don't do those things. - Come on, you have to dance. 642 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,572 - No, I'm not dancing. - Please. Just do it for... 643 00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,674 Live life. Like, "I should have danced that day." 644 00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:14,977 - Leave me alone! - Come on. Just do it. 645 00:40:14,979 --> 00:40:16,044 I know you want to. You can tell you want to. 646 00:40:16,046 --> 00:40:16,647 Show me what you can do. 647 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:23,986 OK. 648 00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:24,755 OK, correct answer. 649 00:40:30,861 --> 00:40:31,562 Yeah, that's really fit. 650 00:40:37,902 --> 00:40:39,735 I don't think so. I'm not... 651 00:40:39,737 --> 00:40:40,538 No, I don't... That's... 652 00:42:48,032 --> 00:42:49,965 Do you think this is joy? 653 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,633 What? 654 00:42:51,635 --> 00:42:52,102 This feeling. 655 00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:55,873 Pure joy, baby. 656 00:42:58,108 --> 00:43:00,075 You're probably still high. 657 00:43:00,077 --> 00:43:01,243 No. I think I'm coming down, actually, 658 00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:03,011 so I don't think it's... 659 00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:04,746 I don't think it's that. 660 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:07,916 I'm thinking about this a lot lately, you know? 661 00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:11,887 Like, the difference between joy, pure joy, 662 00:43:11,889 --> 00:43:14,122 and the one you get from drugs. 663 00:43:14,124 --> 00:43:16,058 Like, they feel so similar 664 00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:20,095 but there must be some sort of difference. 665 00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:23,599 You know, can we experience joy by popping a pill? 666 00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:25,634 All right, Socrates. Well... 667 00:43:25,636 --> 00:43:26,902 yeah, why not? 668 00:43:26,904 --> 00:43:29,171 No, no, no. I-I... 669 00:43:29,173 --> 00:43:31,807 don't think it should come that easy, you know? 670 00:43:31,809 --> 00:43:33,911 Things like that are reserved for love. 671 00:43:37,915 --> 00:43:40,048 OK. Erm... 672 00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:41,850 I fall in love as often as I get high. 673 00:43:41,852 --> 00:43:44,152 Really? 674 00:43:44,154 --> 00:43:46,755 Yeah, the bus driver, the cute guy who serves me coffee, 675 00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:48,357 the old lady on my street who only wears reds. 676 00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:49,291 No, that's not what I'm talking about. 677 00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:52,327 OK. Why? 678 00:43:52,329 --> 00:43:54,296 Like, society tells us who we can fall in love with 679 00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:56,131 and how we should fall in love with them, 680 00:43:56,133 --> 00:43:58,133 but we can fall in love with anyone. 681 00:43:58,135 --> 00:43:59,768 Like, why can't we just fall in love with anyone? 682 00:43:59,770 --> 00:44:01,203 - That's... - Be shit. 683 00:44:01,205 --> 00:44:03,005 Yeah, and it kind of works. It be shit. 684 00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:04,673 - It works, it works. - No, no, this is not the love 685 00:44:04,675 --> 00:44:06,408 I'm talking about, you know? 686 00:44:06,410 --> 00:44:08,410 This is... This is love your neighbours, 687 00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:10,779 love your community, love humanity, OK? 688 00:44:10,781 --> 00:44:12,781 This is general love. 689 00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:15,751 I'm talking about love between two persons. 690 00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:18,086 Like, it gets possessive, it gets hard. 691 00:44:18,088 --> 00:44:19,988 It's fucking painful. 692 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:21,757 You know? You... 693 00:44:21,759 --> 00:44:23,725 You get inspired by a person 694 00:44:23,727 --> 00:44:25,293 so much that he moves, you do things, 695 00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:28,196 that you... That you... 696 00:44:28,198 --> 00:44:29,931 You can't get this person out of your mind. 697 00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,267 He's, like, stuck in here and... 698 00:44:32,269 --> 00:44:35,437 in your dreams and you connect that 699 00:44:35,439 --> 00:44:39,741 to everything in your complete life, and you end up, also, 700 00:44:39,743 --> 00:44:42,811 thinking of the possibility that this could last forever. 701 00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:44,312 You know what I mean? 702 00:44:44,314 --> 00:44:47,349 Honestly? I've never experienced that. 703 00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,085 Really? You were never in love? 704 00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:52,890 No. Not by your definition, anyway. 705 00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:06,101 I mean, when I was younger, I thought 706 00:45:06,103 --> 00:45:08,804 I was in love with people but from afar, but, like... 707 00:45:08,806 --> 00:45:10,939 I guess when I was in year two, I kissed my best friend. 708 00:45:10,941 --> 00:45:12,274 But usually, I just go on Grindr 709 00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:13,475 and I fuck guys and that's my life. 710 00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:15,477 I work, work, work, eat, fuck, 711 00:45:15,479 --> 00:45:17,212 work, work, work. Eat, fuck, work, work, work, 712 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,247 - and that's fine with me. - Yeah, well... 713 00:45:19,249 --> 00:45:20,716 - It works for me. - ..this is, like, the norm 714 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,351 in gay community, you know? 715 00:45:23,353 --> 00:45:26,855 To be sexually free, to have this instable libido, 716 00:45:26,857 --> 00:45:28,323 but this is not my drive. 717 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:31,159 You know? I like... 718 00:45:31,161 --> 00:45:33,862 It's not that I'm not enjoying sex, you know? 719 00:45:33,864 --> 00:45:36,898 But I want to fuck the person I love 720 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,101 and I trust, and this brings it to another level, you know? 721 00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:42,070 Then you are... 722 00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:43,739 You're noticing all the things in between. 723 00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,173 It's not only about coming - 724 00:45:45,175 --> 00:45:48,176 it's about worshipping each other, 725 00:45:48,178 --> 00:45:51,747 being valued and to not be alone. 726 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:54,116 No, that's fine and that's good for you but that's probably cos 727 00:45:54,118 --> 00:45:56,084 you grew up in a household with love, 728 00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:57,786 and whose family got along and parents loved each other. 729 00:45:57,788 --> 00:45:59,488 We don't have all that. 730 00:45:59,490 --> 00:46:01,323 I don't think it's about only the parents. 731 00:46:01,325 --> 00:46:02,991 I think it's also tied up to masculinity, 732 00:46:02,993 --> 00:46:05,260 the gay community, you know? 733 00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:09,965 That we are... We prove to each other our virility and... 734 00:46:09,967 --> 00:46:12,367 Then, I don't know, we just want to prove 735 00:46:12,369 --> 00:46:14,238 that we are as much a man as a straight man. 736 00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:17,372 And there I get confused. 737 00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:21,076 I don't think it's an expectation - I just... need it. 738 00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:22,444 - Need what? - Like, fucking for me... 739 00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,146 - Well, fucking. - OK. Oh, wow. 740 00:46:24,148 --> 00:46:26,181 It's a release for me. I just... 741 00:46:26,183 --> 00:46:27,849 You know, I've never been in a relationship 742 00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:30,418 or anything like that, but I... 743 00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:32,087 I just can't fuck the same guy more than once, you know? 744 00:46:32,089 --> 00:46:34,456 And it... 745 00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:36,992 It gets to the point where I have to fuck different guys 746 00:46:36,994 --> 00:46:39,027 at different times, as many times as possible. 747 00:46:39,029 --> 00:46:40,562 I think it's also about rejecting the hetero norms. 748 00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:42,330 - Mm. - Like, that's it. 749 00:46:42,332 --> 00:46:44,166 I just can't fuck the guy same... 750 00:46:44,168 --> 00:46:45,102 - The same guy more than once. - Yeah. 751 00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:55,944 OK, here we are, but I have to ask you to put your shoes off. 752 00:46:55,946 --> 00:46:58,079 Of course I can take my shoes off. 753 00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:00,248 And the socks if you want but it's not necessary. 754 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,150 I'll leave my socks on if that's OK. 755 00:47:02,152 --> 00:47:04,019 Yeah, leave them on, you amateur. 756 00:47:04,021 --> 00:47:06,054 Wow! Wow! 757 00:47:06,056 --> 00:47:08,223 Wow! 758 00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:11,526 It has its own dance studio. Check out the floor - 759 00:47:11,528 --> 00:47:13,562 - isn't it amazing? - Is that...? 760 00:47:13,564 --> 00:47:14,563 The ash wood - it wouldn't be... It would be better. 761 00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:16,565 OK. 762 00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:18,400 Erm, I think it's time for... 763 00:47:18,402 --> 00:47:19,369 - What? - You. 764 00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:24,039 - Do what? - I think you should... 765 00:47:24,041 --> 00:47:26,174 I think you should dance for me. 766 00:47:26,176 --> 00:47:27,843 I told you before - I'm not going to do it. 767 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,578 - No? Come on. Please. - No. 768 00:47:29,580 --> 00:47:32,848 - No. - Pretty, pretty please. 769 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:34,449 - No, no, no, no, no. - Why not? 770 00:47:34,451 --> 00:47:37,485 I didn't ask you to operate me or something, you know? 771 00:47:37,487 --> 00:47:39,087 You don't need an operation. 772 00:47:39,089 --> 00:47:42,090 No. I'm not going to do it. 773 00:47:42,092 --> 00:47:44,259 If you need an operation, I will operate on you happily. 774 00:47:44,261 --> 00:47:45,460 Not on your free time. 775 00:47:45,462 --> 00:47:47,264 OK. OK, OK. 776 00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:48,365 Well... 777 00:47:50,500 --> 00:47:51,967 I'm just going to ask one more time - 778 00:47:51,969 --> 00:47:53,635 will you dance for me, please? 779 00:47:53,637 --> 00:47:54,471 I would really, really like it if you dance for me. 780 00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:58,073 No. 781 00:47:58,075 --> 00:47:58,642 Fine. 782 00:48:01,411 --> 00:48:02,012 I'll dance for you, then. 783 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:06,548 Are you sure you want to do that? 784 00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:08,917 Yeah. Yeah, I will. I'm gonna use those Hula Hoops over there 785 00:48:08,919 --> 00:48:10,151 and I'm gonna dance for you, if that's OK. 786 00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:11,419 Feel free. 787 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,123 Oh, God, no! 788 00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:17,895 Ah! Ah! 789 00:48:27,371 --> 00:48:28,470 Oh. 790 00:48:28,472 --> 00:48:29,905 Next. 791 00:48:32,075 --> 00:48:34,109 Oh, there we go. We're getting it, getting it. 792 00:48:34,111 --> 00:48:35,510 - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. 793 00:48:35,512 --> 00:48:37,581 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 794 00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:42,284 - Oh, be careful! - Oh! 795 00:48:42,286 --> 00:48:44,252 OK. That was... a surprise. 796 00:48:45,289 --> 00:48:46,256 Sh, sh, sh. 797 00:48:56,133 --> 00:48:56,700 Hmm. 798 00:49:08,412 --> 00:49:10,712 Oh, wow! You know, I find this architecture fascinating. 799 00:49:10,714 --> 00:49:12,247 I think it's crazy how something so ugly 800 00:49:12,249 --> 00:49:14,582 can be just so romantic. It's... 801 00:49:14,584 --> 00:49:19,554 I think it's a little more than romantic. It's idealistic. 802 00:49:19,556 --> 00:49:21,358 It is somehow melancholic in its own way, and utopic. 803 00:49:36,506 --> 00:49:38,273 You know, seeing all these trains makes me realise 804 00:49:38,275 --> 00:49:39,574 that I have to go back to work. 805 00:49:39,576 --> 00:49:41,676 Fuck! 806 00:49:41,678 --> 00:49:43,278 Why do you hate your work so much? 807 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:45,380 I'm fed up, Johannes. 808 00:49:45,382 --> 00:49:47,215 You get to do what you love and that's great, 809 00:49:47,217 --> 00:49:49,284 but maybe you don't make enough money, 810 00:49:49,286 --> 00:49:51,119 or you won't be able to afford your own house until you're 50 811 00:49:51,121 --> 00:49:52,255 at least, or if... ever. 812 00:49:54,324 --> 00:49:56,358 Thank you for that. 813 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,160 It's not about that. The most important things in life is... 814 00:49:59,162 --> 00:50:01,029 to be able to do whatever you want or to... 815 00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:03,031 To be with who you want to be. Like... 816 00:50:03,033 --> 00:50:05,433 Like this now. 817 00:50:05,435 --> 00:50:08,336 So, why, then, don't you do whatever you want? 818 00:50:08,338 --> 00:50:10,238 I don't know what I want to fucking do. 819 00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:12,407 I don't know what I want to do tomorrow. Like, 820 00:50:12,409 --> 00:50:14,676 you won't believe the amount of times I said that I will 821 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:17,212 go into work and quit my job and blah, blah, blah. Like, 822 00:50:17,214 --> 00:50:19,647 in January I said that I would become a person who helps 823 00:50:19,649 --> 00:50:22,017 inmates get back into society. 824 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,019 And then I decided I'd make cheese. 825 00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:26,254 Cos who doesn't love cheese? I could make Cheddar cheese, 826 00:50:26,256 --> 00:50:28,523 Halloumi cheese. All kinds of cheese. And then... 827 00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:31,259 I said to myself I would become a cleft-palate surgeon and help 828 00:50:31,261 --> 00:50:32,560 children who are born with cleft palates get rid of them. 829 00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:35,163 - And then... - Wow! 830 00:50:35,165 --> 00:50:37,465 Bloody hell! Germany! 831 00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:39,567 And then I said to myself I would 832 00:50:39,569 --> 00:50:41,669 become a tree surgeon, you know? 833 00:50:41,671 --> 00:50:44,072 Because I watched a documentary about tree surgery 834 00:50:44,074 --> 00:50:46,141 and those people are great and they help trees 835 00:50:46,143 --> 00:50:48,243 and it's just so exciting. And then, do you know what? 836 00:50:48,245 --> 00:50:50,578 All these people who can't get abortions in the world 837 00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:53,048 who want to have abortions. I thought I'd become, like, 838 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,516 someone who can stand up for them and help them and then... 839 00:50:54,518 --> 00:50:56,818 Wh-What's so funny? 840 00:50:56,820 --> 00:51:00,588 I'm sorry - it's just... you sound so neurotic. 841 00:51:00,590 --> 00:51:03,658 Come on - with cheese and trees... 842 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,494 I just... Ever since I learned about the world, 843 00:51:06,496 --> 00:51:08,630 I've wanted to change the world, but what do I do? 844 00:51:08,632 --> 00:51:11,232 I just come to Berlin for three days to get high on 2CB. 845 00:51:11,234 --> 00:51:15,737 2C-what? I mean, feeling guilty will not help you or the world. 846 00:51:15,739 --> 00:51:17,541 2CB is just like M but a bit more trippy. 847 00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:22,612 How did you do it? How did you find your passion and be happy? 848 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:28,216 To be honest, I'm not... 849 00:51:28,218 --> 00:51:29,553 Not really completely happy with what I'm doing. 850 00:51:33,723 --> 00:51:36,491 I think nobody is, but, yeah, I think... Yeah, I don't know, 851 00:51:36,493 --> 00:51:38,726 we all search for the state of happiness 852 00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:41,129 but we can actually not find it. It's probably unreal. 853 00:51:41,131 --> 00:51:42,564 But you know what the problem is? 854 00:51:42,566 --> 00:51:44,632 It's actually... 855 00:51:44,634 --> 00:51:47,435 Maybe you will never find what makes you happy. 856 00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:49,671 Or maybe you will never find someone 857 00:51:49,673 --> 00:51:51,840 who will tell you what happiness is. 858 00:51:51,842 --> 00:51:53,508 But I think this is OK. You know? 859 00:51:53,510 --> 00:51:56,544 What I'm trying is... 860 00:51:56,546 --> 00:51:58,313 I know what I have to do tomorrow 861 00:51:58,315 --> 00:51:59,716 and I try to enjoy that as much as possible. 862 00:52:02,152 --> 00:52:03,553 My God, you are literally so inspiring. 863 00:52:06,456 --> 00:52:10,191 Like, I'd love to be able to walk into work tomorrow 864 00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:12,293 and just say "bye" to everyone. 865 00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:16,264 Just be like, "I'm going. I'm gone." 866 00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:18,833 But, like, do it in, like, a big massive, like, musical, 867 00:52:18,835 --> 00:52:20,902 kind of Bollywood-fashion way, you know, with all the songs 868 00:52:20,904 --> 00:52:23,705 - and dances and, like, "Ah!" - Yeah. 869 00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:26,608 That would be absolutely great. 870 00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:29,579 I can picture that 100%, to be honest. 871 00:52:33,850 --> 00:52:34,618 You know, and... 872 00:52:36,620 --> 00:52:38,486 And then what? 873 00:52:38,488 --> 00:52:38,855 What do you mean? 874 00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:40,924 Like... 875 00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:45,795 Look at you and me. 876 00:52:48,298 --> 00:52:49,733 Harry... I have a boyfriend. 877 00:52:52,736 --> 00:52:53,503 Oh. 878 00:53:01,578 --> 00:53:02,345 Hm. 879 00:53:08,418 --> 00:53:09,417 - What are you doing? - Come on. 880 00:53:09,419 --> 00:53:11,219 - No. - Come on. 881 00:53:11,221 --> 00:53:13,588 What is...? No. 882 00:53:13,590 --> 00:53:15,757 - Come on. We're taking a photo. - No, please! 883 00:53:15,759 --> 00:53:17,258 I've decided we're doing this, so we're doing this. 884 00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:17,794 Just get in. 885 00:53:22,232 --> 00:53:23,500 - How much is it? Two euros? - For real? 886 00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:30,240 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 887 00:53:31,841 --> 00:53:32,576 I've got... 888 00:53:53,363 --> 00:53:56,397 So, I have a boyfriend, it's true. 889 00:53:56,399 --> 00:53:57,632 - That's all right. - But you know what? 890 00:53:57,634 --> 00:53:59,634 This is true too. 891 00:53:59,636 --> 00:54:01,369 It's fine. 892 00:54:01,371 --> 00:54:01,938 OK. 893 00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:05,942 Does, erm... 894 00:54:08,445 --> 00:54:10,245 Does he know that you're doing this? 895 00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:10,814 No. 896 00:54:13,783 --> 00:54:15,416 But we have an open relationship, so... 897 00:54:15,418 --> 00:54:16,684 Oh, how's that going for you? 898 00:54:16,686 --> 00:54:18,586 Lots of chemsex and threesomes? 899 00:54:18,588 --> 00:54:20,588 Are you sure you are all right? 900 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:22,557 Yes. I'm sure I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be all right? 901 00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:24,692 Do I look fine to you? Do I look upset to you? 902 00:54:24,694 --> 00:54:26,494 I'm completely fine. I don't give a shit. 903 00:54:26,496 --> 00:54:28,830 I don't care if you are married 904 00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:30,698 and have one of those little shitty dogs 905 00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:31,334 and like to take them on walks in parks 906 00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:33,968 and play happy fucking families. 907 00:54:33,970 --> 00:54:34,904 I don't... I don't care. Why would I care? 908 00:54:41,311 --> 00:54:43,911 Why did you tell me this after spending ten hours with me? 909 00:54:43,913 --> 00:54:44,347 Did you feel sorry for me 910 00:54:45,649 --> 00:54:47,482 because I said that I wanted to chop my dick off 911 00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:49,951 - or something like that? - No. No. It's not that. 912 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,319 I... I just didn't find the right moment. I'm sorry. 913 00:54:51,321 --> 00:54:51,921 Great. 914 00:54:54,391 --> 00:54:55,058 Fucking great. 915 00:54:59,929 --> 00:55:00,764 And how is he? 916 00:55:04,301 --> 00:55:05,502 - He's OK. - He's OK. 917 00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:09,437 Isn't that great? 918 00:55:09,439 --> 00:55:11,372 Well, if that's love, then I don't want 919 00:55:11,374 --> 00:55:13,875 anything to do with that, thank you very much. 920 00:55:13,877 --> 00:55:16,944 Let's say the relationship is more open to him than for me. 921 00:55:16,946 --> 00:55:18,913 What does that mean? 922 00:55:18,915 --> 00:55:21,482 That means he wanted an open relationship. 923 00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,484 - Mm. - As you were saying before, 924 00:55:23,486 --> 00:55:25,520 because he needs to fuck around all the time. 925 00:55:25,522 --> 00:55:28,056 And... 926 00:55:28,058 --> 00:55:28,858 I'm cool with it as long as he loves me. 927 00:55:31,361 --> 00:55:33,728 But I... I don't need to fuck around. 928 00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:35,530 OK, so you're happy with him being able to fuck 929 00:55:35,532 --> 00:55:38,366 anyone he wants to and still loving you, 930 00:55:38,368 --> 00:55:40,368 while you don't get to fuck anyone else and you love him? 931 00:55:40,370 --> 00:55:41,636 Why don't you just fuck more people? 932 00:55:41,638 --> 00:55:43,705 Because I'm OK fucking just him. 933 00:55:43,707 --> 00:55:45,807 Really? How about the other way round? 934 00:55:45,809 --> 00:55:47,410 Are you happy with that? That he gets to fuck random people? 935 00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:54,816 I accept his rules, OK? I need to trust him. 936 00:55:54,818 --> 00:55:57,354 Oh, wow! You accept his rules, you need to trust him? 937 00:55:58,788 --> 00:56:00,788 I'm not the best person about knowing about relationships 938 00:56:00,790 --> 00:56:02,924 but I know trust doesn't work like that. 939 00:56:02,926 --> 00:56:06,127 You trust because you just trust, not because you need to. 940 00:56:06,129 --> 00:56:08,730 Like, way, way back in the day, when we were 941 00:56:08,732 --> 00:56:10,798 living in caves, still, everyone was polyamorous. 942 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,867 Everyone just fucked around with everyone 943 00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:13,368 and that was just the way that it was. 944 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:17,672 The only reason why it stopped is because of STDs on the rise, 945 00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:20,041 killing people off. So, if you look at it, back in the past, 946 00:56:20,043 --> 00:56:21,144 our basic function was just to... 947 00:56:22,512 --> 00:56:24,379 To fuck everyone, just like most animals. 948 00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:27,448 Yeah, and this is bullshit, you know? 949 00:56:27,450 --> 00:56:30,518 OK, I agree with you that we are polyamorous by nature. 950 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,787 But it's not about health. 951 00:56:32,789 --> 00:56:35,056 We live in a monogamous world, OK, because of religion. 952 00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:37,091 Religion claimed the traditional family. 953 00:56:37,093 --> 00:56:38,726 - Religion? - Yes, religion. 954 00:56:38,728 --> 00:56:40,595 OK, what about Muslims and Mormons? 955 00:56:40,597 --> 00:56:42,096 Yeah, OK, bullshit right again there. 956 00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:44,966 - OK, so... - OK, one man fucks ten women. 957 00:56:44,968 --> 00:56:47,568 Tell me - did these women choose polygamous conditions? 958 00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:49,604 And, anyway, I understand our nature. 959 00:56:49,606 --> 00:56:51,773 But I cannot accept it. You know why? 960 00:56:51,775 --> 00:56:53,908 Because I was raised in a fucking traditional family. 961 00:56:53,910 --> 00:56:56,010 - Mm. - Yeah, where happiness 962 00:56:56,012 --> 00:56:58,946 means two people together. So simple as that. 963 00:56:58,948 --> 00:57:01,816 And then I have all my friends, you know? Sexually free. 964 00:57:01,818 --> 00:57:04,986 Having free sex, all of that shit. 965 00:57:04,988 --> 00:57:08,956 And there am I, here, feeling different. 966 00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,658 - And then I have Klaus, OK? - Klaus? 967 00:57:10,660 --> 00:57:11,161 - Klaus is my boyfriend. - Oh, great. 968 00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:13,661 And he wants an open relationship, 969 00:57:13,663 --> 00:57:15,930 so why not have it? 970 00:57:15,932 --> 00:57:17,434 You know, I'm gay, so I should, right? 971 00:57:20,103 --> 00:57:22,069 Because it's super-cool to have an open relationship, it's... 972 00:57:22,071 --> 00:57:24,539 Everybody has it. 973 00:57:24,541 --> 00:57:27,575 So if I'm not doing this, I am the fucking weirdo. 974 00:57:27,577 --> 00:57:29,811 And this is... And then... I don't know. 975 00:57:29,813 --> 00:57:31,813 I don't know why I'm lying to myself. 976 00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:33,714 If you don't want to do it, then just don't do it. 977 00:57:33,716 --> 00:57:35,516 Yeah, why don't you just cut off your dick 978 00:57:35,518 --> 00:57:36,186 with a knife, then? It's so easy, right? 979 00:57:47,530 --> 00:57:49,165 Call me stupid but I didn't expect this. 980 00:57:50,667 --> 00:57:53,668 I'm sorry - I just started to believe it, you know? 981 00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:55,670 Fucking fool. 982 00:57:55,672 --> 00:57:56,139 So did I. 983 00:57:59,175 --> 00:58:00,076 I have an idea. 984 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:47,190 Hmm. 985 00:58:49,559 --> 00:58:52,226 So... what do you want from life? 986 00:58:52,228 --> 00:58:53,096 Ooh. 987 00:58:55,632 --> 00:58:57,598 That's a deep question. 988 00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,801 Really... goes far down. 989 00:59:00,803 --> 00:59:01,671 Can still jump, you know. 990 00:59:06,175 --> 00:59:07,176 I don't know. I guess... 991 00:59:09,746 --> 00:59:11,879 I guess I want to be able to see my family 992 00:59:11,881 --> 00:59:13,917 and know that it's not the last time I'm gonna see them. 993 00:59:19,255 --> 00:59:23,024 I wanna be able to sit with the worst posture in the world 994 00:59:23,026 --> 00:59:25,261 and... not have to worry about my back in 30 years. 995 00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:32,567 I guess I also wanna be able to, like, 996 00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:34,070 spend money without worrying about running out. 997 00:59:36,706 --> 00:59:39,006 To always be in the plus and not have to worry 998 00:59:39,008 --> 00:59:40,675 about rent or anything like that. 999 00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:44,178 Fuck! What's that? 1000 00:59:44,180 --> 00:59:46,747 Calm down. It's just... my alarm clock. 1001 00:59:46,749 --> 00:59:48,583 Fuck, it's... Why is it so fucking loud? 1002 00:59:50,219 --> 00:59:52,587 What is this?! 1003 00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:54,322 What's wrong with this? It's so I don't miss my flights. 1004 00:59:54,324 --> 00:59:56,891 Yeah, I mean, we have phones nowadays. 1005 00:59:56,893 --> 00:59:59,327 Yeah, I have a tendency to lose my phone, so I bought this. 1006 00:59:59,329 --> 01:00:01,062 It's big, it's ugly and I never lose it. 1007 01:00:01,064 --> 01:00:03,230 - Bibi Blocksberg? - What's wrong with that? 1008 01:00:03,232 --> 01:00:05,032 - You fucking kidding me? - Nothing wrong with that. 1009 01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:06,367 You know, if I would be a thief, 1010 01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:08,669 I would return it straightaway. 1011 01:00:08,671 --> 01:00:09,937 That's the point of it, you know? It's meant to be... 1012 01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:10,938 like that. 1013 01:00:10,940 --> 01:00:11,708 Oh! 1014 01:00:26,889 --> 01:00:27,724 That'll be me soon, I guess. 1015 01:01:09,198 --> 01:01:09,899 So, um... 1016 01:01:13,803 --> 01:01:14,303 This is it? 1017 01:01:16,873 --> 01:01:20,141 Time's up. 1018 01:01:20,143 --> 01:01:22,309 Well, I have to be at the airport in three hours, so... 1019 01:01:22,311 --> 01:01:23,146 Hmm. 1020 01:01:34,223 --> 01:01:34,891 Do you want to see my apartment? 1021 01:01:38,828 --> 01:01:39,462 Really? 1022 01:01:42,832 --> 01:01:44,331 I don't know. It's... 1023 01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:45,134 OK. 1024 01:01:48,371 --> 01:01:50,738 Hmm. 1025 01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:52,406 Usually, I would say "yes" 1026 01:01:52,408 --> 01:01:54,008 and it wouldn't even be a question, but with... 1027 01:01:54,010 --> 01:01:55,311 I don't... You know? 1028 01:01:58,481 --> 01:01:59,248 Mm-hm. 1029 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:04,487 I can show you my kitchen. 1030 01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:07,423 Photos and... 1031 01:02:09,325 --> 01:02:10,159 Give you a massage. 1032 01:02:11,861 --> 01:02:12,729 Massage. 1033 01:02:28,811 --> 01:02:29,846 - You OK? - Yes. 1034 01:02:32,248 --> 01:02:33,316 - Mm. - Mm. 1035 01:07:54,875 --> 01:08:00,917 This is the S9 train to Schönefeld airport. 1036 01:12:32,218 --> 01:12:34,992 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 75758

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