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Arliss: For most of us,
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the dream of becoming a champion
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remains a fantasy.
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00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,488
But for a special few,
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00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:23,023
it is very much a reality.
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We cheer them.
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We live through them.
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Athletes are our last warriors.
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My job is to make
their dreams come true.
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My name is Arliss Michaels.
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I represent athletes.
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These are my stories.
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♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
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00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:46,813
♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
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00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,580
♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪
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00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:54,020
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
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00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:57,687
♪ It happens to be true ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:04,961
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
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00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:08,571
♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
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00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:12,265
♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪
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♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
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♪ No matter what you do ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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Arliss: When my ancestors
set sail from Europe,
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they came for the same
thing we all seek today,
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00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:33,130
freedom. Freedom of religion,
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freedom of speech,
freedom of expression.
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Baaaaaaah!
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♪ Yeah, yeah,
He's a freak, baby ♪
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♪ Uh uh Baby, he's a freak ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah He's
not discreet, baby ♪
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♪ Uh uh Baby, he's a freak ♪
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♪ He's a peacock and
he's got to flaunt his colors ♪
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♪ He's got an ego like a
double-barred shotgun ♪
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00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:05,220
♪♪
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(yelling)
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Arliss: What separates
this country from all others
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is the respect
for the individual.
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Woo woo woo woo!
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Awwww-ohhhh!
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Those pins answer to me!
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These are my balls!
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This is my lane!
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This is my house!
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And you are my victim!
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Ahhhhhhhhh!
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Arliss: While many strive
to protect the status quo
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and look askance at
those who speak out,
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I say embrace those who
dare open their mouths!
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After all, America was built
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not upon the rule of a majority,
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but by protecting the
rights of the minority.
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
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(laughs)
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♪ Uh-uh Baby, he's a freak ♪
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(cameras clicking)
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"An unnamed source
claimed Turkey said
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"he was gonna get this guy
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00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,429
'The first chance I got.'" True?
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00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:15,132
Motherfuckin' paparazzi's
in my face for weeks!
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Turkey, sit down. Sit down.
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00:03:17,296 --> 00:03:20,096
Commissioner, I'm
surprised you called us in here
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00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,196
to read quotes from an
unnamed source in the Enquirer.
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00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,209
Same source says that at
the Tommy Palonia open,
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00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,012
he bit Tommy Palonia.
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00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,784
That cocksucker called me a fag!
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Turkey, please!
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00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,647
All right, I've heard enough.
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00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,052
Turkey Reeves, I'm suspending
you until further notice.
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00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,624
- What?
- You can't do that!
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00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:39,593
He is in violation of Major
League Bowling's code of ethics!
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00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,922
You are aware of the morals
clause in every bowler's contract?
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00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,429
I know there's a morals
clause in Turkey's contract.
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00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,291
I also know that
I very specifically
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00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,530
negotiated the language
of that contract to read...
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"Mr. Reeves can
only be suspended
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00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,270
if he is convicted
of a felonious act."
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00:03:53,332 --> 00:03:55,602
It leaves no room
for interpretation.
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00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:57,298
You wanna suspend Turkey Reeves,
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00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,340
he must be
convicted of a felony.
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He wants to spit on the sidewalk,
he could spit on the sidewalk.
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(Turkey spits)
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00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,307
My God, Arliss!
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00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,579
Your boy's giving
bowling a bad name!
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00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,878
Bowling? A bad name?
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00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:14,220
Yes! I believe bowlers
should be role models.
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00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,057
Bowlers live in RV's.
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00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,762
Who are they role models
for, people who move a lot?
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00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,785
Commissioner,
Turkey Reeves is critical
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00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,260
to the bowling tour's success.
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00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,828
Yes, a recent "USA Today" poll
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00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:26,496
Named the 100 most
recognizable American athletes.
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00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,966
There was only one bowler
on that list, Turkey Reeves.
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00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,545
I believe the last
bowler to make that list
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00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,570
was Fred Flintstone.
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00:04:31,637 --> 00:04:32,997
Commissioner,
with all due respect,
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00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,639
he's bringing an
element to the game.
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00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:35,707
What "element"?
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00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,875
Arliss/Stanley: An audience!
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00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,054
You and I both know that there's
a TV contract up for renewal.
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00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,824
The only hope for an
increase in rights fees
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is the continued participation
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00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,688
of this outstanding young man.
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00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:51,385
All right, Arliss, I won't
suspend him for now.
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But your boy is
walking a very fine line,
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00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:55,089
and if he steps over that line,
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I'm nailing his ass to the wall,
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TV contract or no contract.
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00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:02,031
Arliss: Call me old fashioned,
but I believe in this country.
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00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:05,171
The Bill of Rights.
The Statue of Liberty.
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The White House.
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What is it?
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How should I know?
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"The president and Mrs. Clinton
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"request the pleasure
of the company
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of Mr. Arliss Michaels
at dinner on Thursday",
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00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,964
Rita/Arliss: "July
19th, 1997 at 7:30 p.m.,
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"honoring the Youth All-Stars
of America Foundation.
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Black tie."
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00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,297
How long did it take
you to memorize this?
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Not as long as it did
to put back the seal.
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(chuckling) I'm goin'
to the White House!
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Can you believe...?
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00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:42,135
Mr. Michaels is
goin' to Washington!
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00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,438
Wait a second.
This isn't a joke, is it?
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No joke.
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00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,945
"Honoring leading sports
and entertainment figures
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who have contributed
to the welfare of children."
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That's great. I love kids.
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Unfortunately, on the 19th,
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you're addressing
the Junior Scouts.
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Fuck 'em! I'm goin'
to the White House!
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00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,358
I'm goin' to the White House!
135
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:03,596
Lance, you promised
me $2,500 for this story,
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00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,003
and this check is
for one thousand.
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00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,665
You quoted every word I
said. I think that I should...
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00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:11,104
Kirby, wait'll you
hear this! (chuckling)
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Oh, uh, later... Bob.
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00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:14,769
Who was that?
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00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,281
Uh, it's a guy that, uh...
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00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,012
"American Media, Lantana,
Florida." Who are they?
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00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:21,408
Yeah, it's a... (chuckles)
retirement community.
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You know, I bought a
time-share down there,
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and, uh, they overcharged me,
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and, just, you know,
sent me back my money!
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I just heard!
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You've been invited
to the White House.
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Ta-da!
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The White House?
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00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,132
The, the White House.
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The president requests
the pleasure of my company.
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00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:40,967
Oh, man, you gotta
take me with you.
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00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,843
I know all the
hot spots in town.
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In fact, when Marion Barry wants
to party, he asks me where to go.
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It doesn't say you
can bring a guest.
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00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,981
Doesn't say how you're
going to get there, either.
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Of course he can take a guest.
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00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:57,183
- Can't he?
- You're right, it doesn't say anything about anything.
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The 19th, that's only
three weeks away.
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I'd better start
on this right now.
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Who can I talk to about this?
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The White House, huh?
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00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:07,899
Man, they're usin' these dinners
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to bring a lot of
pigs to the trough.
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(chuckles) Aw, Jimmy,
come on, so tell me,
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how does this work?
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00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,568
I mean, do they come and
pick me up on Air Force One?
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00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,374
No, you make your
own arrangements.
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00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,135
You mean, I gotta fly myself in?
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Yeah!
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00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,812
- And who pays for that?
- You do!
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00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,243
Really? Who picks
me up at the airport?
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00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,349
- They have a marine in dress blues.
- Really?
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00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,452
No, a town car picks you up.
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And who pays for that?
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You do!
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00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,023
Damn, I mean, doesn't
Uncle Sam pay for anything?
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It's the White House,
not Caesar's Palace.
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00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,157
They don't comp people.
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00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,290
I do get to bring
a guest, right?
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00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,728
Ah... I see the mind
of an agent at work.
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00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,364
You wanna bring some new
client there so you can impress him.
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00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,331
Jimmy, you know
me better than that.
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00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,340
Hey, you make sure it's a girl.
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00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,582
You don't wanna
give the appearance
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00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,243
of some "don't
ask, don't tell" thing.
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00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,305
You get my drift?
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00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:56,579
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Oh, one more thing,
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00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:57,822
What are the chances of staying
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00:07:57,843 --> 00:07:59,653
in the White House overnight?
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00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:01,452
Don't go there.
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00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,452
Arliss: My White
House invitation
194
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,247
created a feeling of comradery
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00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,059
and esprit de corps
among my colleagues.
196
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,991
But you've already
been to the White House.
197
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,217
No, that shouldn't count.
198
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,471
I was with the All-America Team.
199
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:14,942
It was a photo shoot
in the Rose Garden.
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00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,461
I was wasted, and
Ford was president.
201
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,300
Well, it might be nice if we had
a real minority presence for once.
202
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:23,266
Oh, well, if you wanted to
go to Washington so much,
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00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,436
you could've made it the
Million and One Man March.
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00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:28,874
Uh-uh. If anybody from
this office is going, c'est moi.
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00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,081
Oh, pourquoi?
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00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:32,452
Because whoever walks in
on his arm to the White House
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00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,711
should be wearing
an evening dress.
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00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,750
Oh? Well, let him
take Turkey Reeves!
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00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,016
What is going on?
210
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:42,185
The Pep Boys here think
they're going to the White House.
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00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:43,964
The White... wh...?
212
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:49,129
Oh! Wow, you know,
I have been so busy
213
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,125
I haven't even given
this a second's thought.
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00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,167
Look, I promise you,
215
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:56,572
when I'll know...
you'll know, okay?
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00:08:56,635 --> 00:08:57,835
Let's get to work!
217
00:08:57,903 --> 00:09:00,913
Arliss: Not only
was my staff thrilled,
218
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,983
but my clients
were only too eager
219
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,312
to share in my good fortune.
220
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,308
Arliss, I wanna go
to the White House.
221
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,420
Jimmy Leyritz, I would love
to, I think it's a great idea, but...
222
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,693
I really wanna go
to the White House.
223
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,547
But you were last
year's World Series hero.
224
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:14,929
Didn't you get to go
to the White House?
225
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,104
No, we didn't get invited. I
think Clinton's a Braves fan.
226
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,263
Arliss, isn't this your client?
227
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:23,301
Yeah.
228
00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:26,404
You seen this?
229
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:27,775
Huh?
230
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,104
This has got to stop!
231
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,438
"Secret source" my ass.
232
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,983
You know, just once,
I'd like to get my hands
233
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,544
on the throat of that
secret source. (grunting)
234
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:35,667
Yeah.
235
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,849
Yeah. And what gets
me is none of these guys
236
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,252
have the balls to
use their own names.
237
00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:43,824
The rat bastards!
238
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:44,883
Kirby...
239
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,952
you're not goin' to Washington.
240
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:51,088
Boss...
241
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,757
I'm sorry.
242
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,225
I promise it'll never
happen again.
243
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:56,403
You bet it won't. Because
for the next two weeks
244
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,672
you are gonna be Turkey Reeves'
245
00:09:57,696 --> 00:09:58,696
personal baby sitter.
246
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:01,031
He has tournaments
in Fresno and Riverside.
247
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,840
Wherever he goes, you go.
248
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,242
If he pisses, you piss.
249
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,813
If he can't find a pot to
piss in, you find him a pot.
250
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,542
But above all, I
am counting on you
251
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,477
to keep him outta the press!
252
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,277
Boss...
253
00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:15,345
you can count on
me. I'm your guy.
254
00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:17,915
I know I can.
255
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:22,353
Oh, and um...
256
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:24,922
Thanks for understanding.
257
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,190
Sure.
258
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,788
Boss, uh... who are you takin'?
259
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,434
Arliss: I wanted whoever
accompanied me to Washington
260
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,640
to represent not just me,
261
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,372
but also represent America.
262
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:40,938
Katarina Witt!
263
00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:43,306
How's the Teutonic
temptress of the triple axels?
264
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,575
Arliss, how come
when you talk English
265
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,284
I understand all the words,
but I don't know what you mean?
266
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,747
(chuckles) Look,
Katarina, I'm tellin' ya
267
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,846
AMM is the only
place you should be.
268
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:55,588
Have you given any
thought to our little talk?
269
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:57,794
Yeah. Very little thought.
270
00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:01,587
Well, maybe I can convince
you with dinner on the 19th.
271
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,960
I'm busy the 19th.
272
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,198
At the White House.
273
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:08,925
The... White House?
274
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,511
Yes, they're having a dinner
honoring me for helping youth.
275
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:13,851
I thought it would
be a good time
276
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:16,306
for you to get to know
the everyday me...
277
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,705
at the White House.
278
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:22,176
The one on 1616
Philadelphia Avenue?
279
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:27,446
1600 Philadelphia Avenue.
280
00:11:29,788 --> 00:11:31,488
Arliss: People
always ask Arliss,
281
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,587
"What attracts you to a client?"
282
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:35,429
Let it be said once.
283
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:37,204
It's not gold medals.
284
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,033
It's not earning power.
285
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,868
It's the content
of their character.
286
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:46,114
(loud music playing)
287
00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:53,477
Lance, it's Kirby!
288
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,506
Yeah, I'm at the, uh, Horny Owl.
289
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:59,321
Mm-hm. I got a scoop for
ya. Turkey is high as a kite.
290
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,285
Get a photographer here now.
291
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:04,763
Okay, and this time,
five grand, deal?
292
00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:05,893
Okay, bye.
293
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,730
Uh, requesting a moment?
294
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,455
Uh, look... look,
Stanley, I promise you,
295
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,510
I haven't made any decisions
about the White House.
296
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,202
Nah... I have.
297
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,497
You have?
298
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:17,743
As a fiscal conservative,
299
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,243
I cannot support
this administration.
300
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,441
I am withdrawing my
name from consideration.
301
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,277
Oh, no.
302
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:25,482
Now, I pride myself
on my patriotism.
303
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:26,584
Are you sure?
304
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,505
And should any
other patriotic event,
305
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,421
preferably Republican,
heh, come up,
306
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:32,653
I hope you'll remember me.
307
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:33,918
I will do that.
308
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:36,786
Thank you.
309
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:44,299
(loud music playing)
310
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,275
Why are we leaving?
I was havin' fun here!
311
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,978
Let's stick around,
see what happens.
312
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,920
- Why are we...?
- Gentlemen!
313
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,286
(siren blaring)
314
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,394
What's goin' on?
315
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:11,926
Turkey: Wait a
minute! Wait a minute!
316
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:12,967
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
317
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,672
Cop: Just stay right over
there and stay outta this!
318
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:15,873
Cop: Keep those
people back, will ya?
319
00:13:15,894 --> 00:13:17,334
Cop: Yes, go right
back in the bar,
320
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:18,396
nothin' to see here!
321
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,200
Well, well, what
do we have here?
322
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,466
You have the right
to remain silent.
323
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:23,644
Kiss my ass.
324
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:24,742
Oh, shit.
325
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,268
Now, this first one
is a Hugo Boss,
326
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,480
tapered, single-breasted,
with a vest.
327
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:31,742
Very thinning.
328
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,750
A presidential favorite.
329
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,512
What's wrong with
my regular tuxedo?
330
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,881
I've worn it everywhere.
331
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,119
Exactly. You've
worn it everywhere.
332
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:40,724
You need to buy a new one.
333
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:44,086
This is your Calvin Klein,
classic, double-breasted.
334
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,356
Often worn with a
band collar and tieless.
335
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,456
Although you probably
do wanna wear a tie,
336
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,238
after all, you are going
to the White House,
337
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:52,873
not the Grammys.
338
00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:55,401
Good point. Next?
339
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:57,637
This is a Vera Wang,
340
00:13:57,703 --> 00:14:00,073
strapless with beaded detail.
341
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,109
I don't think I want the RuPaul
look at a White House dinner.
342
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,305
With this dress, I would
just glide to our table.
343
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:08,676
Rita, my darling...
344
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:11,077
Don't "my darling" me.
345
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,650
The White House needs 72 hours
346
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:14,288
to clear the name of your guest.
347
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,793
They say that if you
don't reply by six tonight,
348
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,415
you can't bring anyone.
349
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,025
Have you asked anyone yet?
350
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,364
Don't lie to me!
351
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,269
I haven't. You have my word!
352
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,902
(phone ringing)
353
00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:30,837
Arliss Michaels' office.
354
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:33,173
One moment, please.
355
00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:34,338
Katarina Witt.
356
00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:38,144
Um, would you excuse
me for a second?
357
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,650
Uh, Rita? Would you
excuse me, please?
358
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,013
Would you excuse me?
359
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,081
Okay.
360
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:53,056
You invited Katarina Witt?
361
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:58,125
Um... look, Rita, you have to
look at this as a business thing.
362
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,897
You invited Katarina Witt!
363
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:04,636
Look I am sorry, But I've
got to do what's best for AMM.
364
00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,483
She's gonna be a great
addition to our client list.
365
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:08,035
She's an international star!
366
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,977
You invited Katarina Witt?
367
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,812
It's just business.
368
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:15,448
Men are pigs.
369
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,182
(door slams)
370
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,650
(zipper)
371
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,291
Katarina, how's the first
lady of the figure eights?
372
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,756
Looking forward to meeting
the other First Lady this week?
373
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:29,955
I'm so sorry, Arliss
darling, but I caught the flu.
374
00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:31,458
I can't go with you.
375
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:32,830
No, y... you've got to!
376
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,098
- This is gonna be our Camelot.
- (sneezes)
377
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,667
I'm so sorry, but I
must go now. Bye, love.
378
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:38,936
(sneezes)
379
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,417
Uh, Monica Seles, please?
380
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,951
Arliss Michaels.
381
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,117
Monica! How's the
queen of the courts?
382
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,286
What are you doing on the 19th?
383
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,260
Steffi, how's the
queen of the courts?
384
00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:06,059
What are you doing the 19th?
385
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,574
Kristi, how's the
Cinderella of the skates?
386
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,308
Lisa, how's the
first lady of layups?
387
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:16,384
The 19th?
388
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,812
The 19th.
389
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,176
The 19th?
390
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,645
I am gonna tell
you one last time
391
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:23,984
why that White House dinner
392
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,689
has my name written all over it.
393
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,092
I pick up your laundry.
394
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,623
I screen your calls.
395
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,388
I lie for you!
396
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:34,127
You've got the big cowboy
hat! And you've got all the cattle!
397
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,703
And I'm always left to shovel
the shit that you leave behind.
398
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,872
So, I think that you can give me
399
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,132
one lousy dinner in Washington,
400
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,141
and then I'll go back
to being your girl Friday
401
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,813
eight days a week!
402
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,882
Never mind what I said,
she's going and that's final!
403
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,453
Rita... after thinking it over,
404
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,423
I realize what you mean to me.
405
00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:00,993
So I'm inviting
you to be my escort
406
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,123
at the White House.
407
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,618
Katarina canceled, huh?
408
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,570
No, no, believe me, you
were my first choice all along.
409
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,532
- Oh, please.
- No, no, you were right.
410
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,564
You're my girl. I
want you to go.
411
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,170
Sure you don't wanna
try Gabrielle Reece?
412
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,033
(phone ringing)
413
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,201
Oh... excuse me.
414
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,670
Mm-hm.
415
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,336
Arliss Michaels.
416
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,543
What?
417
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,654
Arliss, Arliss...
418
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,816
I think we worked out
a deal with the D.A.
419
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,545
Turkey pleads to possession
of a controlled substance.
420
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:36,761
Bullshit!
421
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,402
In return, he's put on
two years' probation,
422
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,963
and he submits to a
four-week drug rehab program.
423
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,726
Four weeks? Fuck that!
424
00:17:42,794 --> 00:17:44,534
The tournament of
champions is next week!
425
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:46,766
Turkey, face facts, you're
going to be suspended.
426
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,352
They're givin' ya a
second chance here.
427
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,430
Shit.
428
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:52,135
- Tell the D.A. We'll take it.
- All right.
429
00:17:53,805 --> 00:17:55,805
(phone ringing)
430
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:58,544
Relax, everything's
gonna be okay.
431
00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,610
Hello.
432
00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:02,148
I'm putting a call through
from James Carville.
433
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:03,354
He says it's urgent.
434
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,515
Jimmy C.!
435
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,693
Hey, what's the inside
scoop on the White House?
436
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,312
Hey, I hope they're
not serving ostrich.
437
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,523
Arliss... I just heard a rumor
438
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,559
that your client, Turkey
Reeves, was arrested.
439
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:13,934
Is that true?
440
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,227
Absolutely not!
441
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,334
Well, I hope you're right,
442
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,741
because if it's true
I can tell you this,
443
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,703
you can kiss your White
House invite goodbye.
444
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,965
Wh... what's that
got to do with it?
445
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,444
Hell, man, they can't have someone
who represents a convicted druggie
446
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,274
at a dinner honorin' kids!
447
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,609
There's no way to
spin your way outta this.
448
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,535
Look, there is absolutely no way
449
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,150
that Arliss Michaels
represents anyone
450
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:34,451
convicted of anything!
451
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,953
Where do these rumors
come from, anyway?
452
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,675
Where they all come from, man.
453
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:41,550
Lantana, Florida, home
of the National Enquirer.
454
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,760
Lantana, Lantana, L...
455
00:18:44,856 --> 00:18:46,326
Thanks for the call.
456
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,463
We're agreed.
457
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:52,328
Just hold up on that deal
for just one second, okay?
458
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,202
Heh...
459
00:18:55,267 --> 00:19:00,337
(toilet gurgling)
460
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:10,978
Boss!
461
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,519
It's good to... see ya.
462
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:18,955
It wasn't my fault.
463
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:24,062
I mean, who coulda known
that he stashed cocaine
464
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,859
in his bowling bag?
465
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:28,825
Who could have?
466
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,500
Exactly!
467
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,699
It's amazing.
468
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:33,851
You know, it'd
make a great story
469
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,712
for the National Enquirer,
though, wouldn't it?
470
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:37,684
The Enquirer?
471
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,783
Wouldn't it?
472
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,684
I don't know. I... I
don't read that paper.
473
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,277
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think
it would make a great story.
474
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:47,549
In fact, I betcha they would
pay three, four thousand dollars
475
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,449
for a story like
this. Wouldn't they?
476
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,489
I would have no idea.
477
00:19:52,557 --> 00:19:55,327
Take a guess. 4,000, maybe five?
478
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:57,828
I wouldn't, uh...
479
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:58,956
Take a guess!
480
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,131
Five.
481
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,233
You sonuvabitch!
482
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:03,539
Boss, I had to, I
owed people money.
483
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,072
It's not that big a deal.
484
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,247
Not that big a deal? Forget
the fact that because of you,
485
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:09,372
I'm wasting half my time
defending this lunatic!
486
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,681
Boss... I... I'm...
487
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:13,152
Forget the fact that you've
been doing this behind my back,
488
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:14,851
in my office, on my phone!
489
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:16,503
Boss, I feel
really, really sorry.
490
00:20:16,499 --> 00:20:18,079
But now, because of you,
491
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,950
I might lose my invitation
to the White House!
492
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:22,449
Oh, no.
493
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:23,721
Oh, yes!
494
00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:29,128
Oh, boss, I feel terrible.
495
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:32,104
I mean, I wish there was
something I could do, I really do.
496
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,274
There is.
497
00:20:33,331 --> 00:20:36,971
Kirby... you're takin' the rap.
498
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:38,465
What?
499
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:42,167
You see, if Turkey is
convicted, then my reputation
500
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,710
is that of one who
represents druggies.
501
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:48,906
Can't have that. But if one of
my associates has a drug problem,
502
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:51,420
and I help get him
into a rehab program,
503
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:55,653
that shows courage.
It's a PC thing.
504
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:59,731
So, as of last night,
you've got a drug problem.
505
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:01,931
Huh! Huh... no,
506
00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:03,533
you can't do this to me.
507
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,025
You... you cannot do this to me.
508
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,698
I can't... I cannot be in
this place another second!
509
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,068
I mean, this place stinks!
The people they bring in here!
510
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,497
You should've seen the guys
they brought in here last night!
511
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:17,079
Unbelievable, Arliss!
And the... oh, this thing!
512
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:20,382
This... this sink! It doesn't
work! there's no water!
513
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:23,005
And this thing never stops!
514
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,181
Oh, great!
515
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,019
Kirby, Kirby, Kirby.
516
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,324
Unbelievable!
517
00:21:28,386 --> 00:21:30,416
It's your choice. But...
but think about this,
518
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,669
at least when you
get outta rehab,
519
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,630
you'll still have a job.
520
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,530
So, um... what's it gonna be?
521
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,541
Okay, let me get this straight.
522
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,643
It was actually Mr. Carlisle's
bowling bag and cocaine.
523
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:50,076
Uh, yeah,
that's... that's right.
524
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,012
And you're confessing to the
drug possession, Mr. Carlisle?
525
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:56,919
Uh, 100% guilty as charged.
526
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:00,087
You know, this
being his first offense,
527
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,952
if... if we could
set Mr. Carlisle up
528
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,860
with, say, a four-week
drug rehab program,
529
00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:07,163
I think, uh, everyone
will be well served.
530
00:22:07,225 --> 00:22:09,585
Hm, well served. Well served.
531
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,631
Kirby: You know...
very well served.
532
00:22:11,696 --> 00:22:14,196
Arliss: You make a
mistake, you move on.
533
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:16,066
Mr. Carlisle, did
you plead guilty
534
00:22:16,134 --> 00:22:19,374
to a breaking and
entering in 1976?
535
00:22:19,437 --> 00:22:21,567
1976?
536
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:26,410
Uh... oh, yeah! It's a
college prank gone bad!
537
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:27,828
(chuckling)
538
00:22:27,831 --> 00:22:29,181
Broke into the Phi Mu house.
539
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:30,277
Panty raid!
540
00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:31,518
- (laughter)
- Panty raid.
541
00:22:33,084 --> 00:22:34,524
Lawyer: Panty raid!
542
00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:37,857
Kirby: Panty raid!
543
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:43,263
Mr. Carlisle, did you kick and
smash the toilet in your cell?
544
00:22:43,328 --> 00:22:44,998
That thing would
not stop running.
545
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:48,033
It... and there's no
air circulating in there.
546
00:22:48,099 --> 00:22:49,869
You know, it's inhuman!
547
00:22:51,102 --> 00:22:52,272
It's state property.
548
00:22:52,337 --> 00:22:53,507
So, between the B and E,
549
00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:55,642
and upon conviction
of the drug possession,
550
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,377
and willful destruction,
551
00:22:57,442 --> 00:22:59,082
that would constitute
three offenses.
552
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:00,984
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
553
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,846
That's three strikes, mister.
554
00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:05,445
You're out.
555
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:06,647
Out of what?
556
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:09,618
You are subject to California's
three strikes sentencing laws.
557
00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:11,658
At this point, you're
looking at life imprisonment.
558
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,763
No, no!
559
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,790
No, no, no... look,
look... Let's talk this out.
560
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,801
Uh, certainly there's
room for dialogue here.
561
00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,013
The law's pretty
clear cut on this.
562
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:20,230
Arliss, you gotta...
563
00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:22,773
Let me ask you this.
564
00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:26,074
Would you like to go to the
Super Bowl? Great seats!
565
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:27,807
I'm not a football fan.
566
00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:29,083
Well, what about
the World Series,
567
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:30,477
and I can get you the
Commissioner's box?
568
00:23:30,508 --> 00:23:31,678
Oh, please.
569
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:34,253
Maybe the LPGA Dinah
Shore Nabisco Classic.
570
00:23:34,312 --> 00:23:35,412
Mr. Michaels!
571
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,950
You're obviously used
to this sort of brokering,
572
00:23:38,016 --> 00:23:41,016
but you are walking
a very fine line here.
573
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,886
I believe in the rules. And I believe
that when the rules are broken,
574
00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,355
somebody has to
be held responsible.
575
00:23:45,423 --> 00:23:46,803
That is what the people
put me here to do.
576
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:47,925
I understand, but...
577
00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:49,373
Unlike you, I
believe in the system.
578
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,134
Now what do you have to say?
579
00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:58,143
Arliss: This country was
founded on rules and regulations.
580
00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:00,613
I know of some who try
to circumvent the rules,
581
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,172
but not me.
582
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,805
Being a civil libertarian doesn't
mean condoning anarchy.
583
00:24:07,879 --> 00:24:09,379
Far from it.
584
00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:13,645
But I'd rather see
100 guilty men go free
585
00:24:13,718 --> 00:24:16,618
than one innocent man punished.
586
00:24:24,162 --> 00:24:26,732
Remember to always
do a good deed a day
587
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,368
And to keep receipts
for your records.
588
00:24:28,433 --> 00:24:29,903
This practice will come in handy
589
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,538
when filing for
your income taxes.
590
00:24:31,603 --> 00:24:33,643
Oh, and be sure to
get a good accountant.
591
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,465
Because, uh, when
it all comes down to it,
592
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:39,811
with the IRS, you really are
guilty until proven innocent.
593
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:41,208
Who knows about life insurance?
594
00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:44,750
Arliss: That night, I
thought of the things that
595
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:48,446
are important to me. Simple
things, like hard work, fair play,
596
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:49,690
Loyalty.
597
00:24:53,558 --> 00:24:55,588
It wasn't the pomp and ceremony
598
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:57,600
that I'll remember
from that evening.
599
00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:01,532
In fact, the occasion
seemed almost solemn.
600
00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:05,039
(both laughing)
601
00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:08,113
I thought, how blessed art thou?
602
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:11,243
How lucky could
an average Joe be?
603
00:25:11,309 --> 00:25:14,209
What could possibly
be better than this?
604
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,749
The Lincoln Bedroom!
605
00:25:17,816 --> 00:25:20,416
My name is Arliss Michaels.
606
00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:22,515
I represent athletes,
607
00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:24,387
These are my stories.
608
00:25:26,257 --> 00:25:28,287
(fireworks exploding)
609
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:34,530
(patriotic music playing)
610
00:25:57,288 --> 00:26:02,258
♪♪
611
00:26:02,308 --> 00:26:06,858
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