All language subtitles for The Munsters s02e04 Herman Munster, Shutterbug.engg

Listen, if you're going to
shoot, go ahead and shoot.

Let's get it over with.

I just have a few more
adjustments to make.

Hurry up, POP-

Yes, we've been sitting here
for half an hour.

Herman, we're all happy
that you have a new hobby...

but you don't
have to be so fussy.

Lily, dear. Please.

Aperture: f!5.6.

Exposure: 1/500.

Light meter: medium.

22 to 26.

Herman, we can't
sit still this long.

What do you think we are,
a bunch of stiffs?

Yes, Herman. Please hurry up.

Focus angle: 3.9.

There. All set.

[laughing]

Now, everyone hold that pose.

[sighing]

Lily dear, would you move over?
But--

I have the automatic
shutter timer set.

I'm gonna
be in the picture, too.

Now, when I count to three
everyone say "cheese."

Can I say Limburger?

Now, cut that out.

One.

Two.

Three.

[explosion]

I don't remember
setting it for that.

Now, Eddie...

I want you to practice
your lesson for a full hour.

But, gee, Mom. Pop promised me that we
could go out and look for neat stuff...

under rocks this afternoon.

Your father's not here.

He went downtown with that silly
camera of his to take pictures.

Now you just sit there...

and practice and keep at it.

Do I have to?

Yes.

You just sit there
and practice your dirges.

Some day you may want to enter
your father's business...

and start
a parlor of your own.

Mplavins Piano]

[creaking]

Psst...

Eddie.

What is it, Grandpa?

I was down in the dungeon and I
heard you playing my favorite song.

Yeah, I have to practice
my darn organ lessons.

Don't worry, I've got something here
that will eliminate practice...

and make you
an instant virtuoso.

That's a neat-looking pill.
What's in it?

There's a lot
of good stuff in here.

There's five bars
from a Chopin nocturne...

one of Paderewski's
hangnails...

an E-minor chord from the
organ at Westminster Abbey...

a doorknob
off the Grand Canyon Suite...

and three...

three, mind you, sequins
from Liberace's jacket.

[crunching]

Go ahead and try it. Go ahead.

[bugle blowing]

[groaning]

Darn.

Well, back
to the drawing board.

I gotta stop reading the Racing Form
while I'm mixing these magic pills.

Eddie.

What are you doing?

I thought I heard
a bugle call.

Well, I...

[cawing]
It was only me.

You silly bird. Now you stop
that and let Eddie practice.

What kind of pictures
is Pop gonna take?

People and statues.

And he even talked
about photographing...

the new Mockingbird Heights
National Bank building.

I guess it's okay
for Pop to have a hobby.

Yes, but I hope he doesn't get
into trouble with this one.

Remember last time?

He tried to build
a ship inside a bottle.

We had to break
the bottle to get him out.

It's right
on this corner, Rod.

The Mockingbird Heights
National Bank building.

We'll have the getaway car
right here on the side street.

Right. And we'll hit it at
3:00, just before closing.

And if anybody gets in our way,
it'll be bang, bang, bang!

Just like
in the old George Raft movies.

[quacking]

Here we are,
you cute little ducks, you.

[laughing]

Madame, would you mind
holding that pose?

[yelling]

That certainly is an
old-fashioned bathing suit.

Oh, boy.

This ought to make
a great shot.

Holy mackerel!

[grunting]

My, my, some of those
great men are so neurotic.

It's almost 3:00.

I guess I'll go over and take
a picture of the bank.

I might run into some
interesting shooting there.

[Spot purring]

Eddie.

Will you go outside and pick
up the afternoon paper?

Your father's busy in the lab
developing pictures with Grandpa.

Gee, Mom. I'm not through
brushing Spot yet.

You can do that later.

Okay.

[growling]

Come on, Spot. Let go.

Spotty, be a good boy
and let Eddie go.

And Mommy will give you a nice fresh
manhole cover to eat with your din-din.

Now, we'll have a look
at the pictures.

First picture.

That's a lovely shot...

of an empty lake!

(Herman) There was a little
old lady feeding ducks.

But she decided
to go swimming instead.

[clears throat]

That's a great one.

That's a great one!

A pedestal with
no statue on it.

Heck, Daniel Boone was
standing there, big as life.

But either
he's camera-shy or...

he had to go someplace
in a hurry.

At least in this one, you got
some people in the picture.

That's the front of the Mockingbird
Heights National Bank building.

[stuttering]
Hey, who are those men...

running out of the bank
carrying canvas bags?

I guess they're
some depositors.

See, they left in such a hurry, they
still have fountain pens in their hands.

(Grandpa)
Wait a minute.

Those are the first fountain pens I
ever saw that had triggers on them.

Those men are carrying guns!

Guns?
That's right, guns!

"Mockingbird Heights National Bank
was held up by two men with guns.

"It is reported an unidentified bystander
was taking pictures of the bank...

"at the time of the robbery.

"The police are now seeking
this unknown photographer."

How do you like that?

A perfect job and somebody's
gotta be taking our picture.

Come to think of it, there
was a guy with a camera...

standing next to a weird-looking
car across the street.

It looked kind of like a hearse.
Yeah.

There can't be two cars
like that in the whole world.

We gotta track it down...

and get to this "unknown
photographer" before the cops do.

What if the guy won't come
across with the picture?

Then we'll put this candid cameraman
into a permanent darkroom.

Six feet underground.

[imitating gun firing]

Now, Herman, I want
you to listen carefully.

"This afternoon the Mockingbird
Heights National Bank...

"was held up by two men
with guns."

[grunting]

Herman, what time were you down
at the bank taking pictures?

About 3:00.

"The daring holdup
took place at 3:00 p.m."

[grunting]

Funny, I didn't notice it.

Very funny.

"Brandishing guns, the two men ran out
of the bank and made their getaway."

Now, Herman, in your hand you
have a picture of two men...

running out of the bank
brandishing guns.

The picture was taken at 3:00.

I want you to think a minute.

Just put two and two together,
and what have you got?

That's easy.

Four.

No.

Well, it's not seven.

Unless it's that new math
I've heard about.

May I read further?

Pray do.

"Police have learned that an
unidentified man with a camera...

"may have photographed the bandits
as they made their escape.

"This man is being sought
by the authorities."

Herman.

Do you know who the man
is that took the picture?

I think you want the real Herman
Munster to stand up please.

Herman.

These two men are desperate criminals,
and you have the evidence...

that could identify them.

Oh, boy. Then I'm a hero!

I'm a hero!

You may
wind up as a dead hero.

No, Lily.

And I may get a reward.

You know, dear, I've never gotten
a reward in my whole life.

But this time
I have a feeling...

I'm really going to get it.

[gate creaking]

Yeah, Rod.

This is that weird-looking car
we saw across from the bank.

And this must be where our
friend the photographer lives.

Boy,
what a funny looking house.

There's a lot of strange
people in the world.

As soon as he opens the door,
we blast him, huh?

No, where's your manners?

We try to con him
into giving us the picture.

If that doesn't work,
then we blast him.

[imitating gun firing]

Now, Herman.

You telephone the police, and you
tell them that you have the picture.

Do you understand?
Yes, dear.

I'll go in and fix lunch.

[knocking on door]

[creaking]

[wind howling]

Hello there.

Do you see what I see?

Yeah.

Either there's
something wrong...

or we've got the world's
worst hangover.

Won't you come in?

We understand you got a picture
of the bank robbery today.

That's right.

I was right there on the spot.

Fine. We're
from the Daily Chronicle.

We'd like to purchase
that photograph.

I'll be darned.

I was just about to call the
police on the telephone...

and tell them
I had the picture.

But now I don't
have to tell them.

Thank you.

You saved me 10 cents.

You got the picture on you?

Yes, I have it right here.

Say, you two guys
look very familiar.

Could we have met before?

Could it have been last Saturday
at the Kiddies' Matinee?

Look, we'll give you $100, you
give us the picture. How about it?

$100?
Yeah.

Clyde,
you got yourself a deal.

Listen, here's a coincidence.

These two gentlemen in the
picture look exactly like you.

They're even dressed the same way.
Funny little hat and that neck...

[stammering]

It wasn't at the Kiddies'
Matinee, was it?

It sure wasn't.

And these ain't lollipops,
either.

(man on radio) We interrupt
our program at this time

for a special news bulletin.

The bandits who held up the
Mockingbird Heights National Bank...

are still at large.

Police believe they are hiding out in a
private residence until the heat is off.

All citizens, be on the alert.

These men are dangerous.

Now, back to our music.

N'[music playing on radio]

Look, we're gonna have to hole
up here until the heat's off.

But it's not doing my ulcer any good
sitting here, staring at you guys.

Why don't you go about
your everyday living?

But no funny business
or we'll blast you.

Do you mean you want us to carry
on as though you weren't here?

Yeah, that's it, lady.

Thank you.

Well...

first things first.

[grunting]

There goes another hobby.

Mplavins Piano]

This is normal living?

Let's go in the other room.

(Rod)
Hey_

What do you think
you're doing?

I was just going to feed the family pet.
You sure?

Of course.

[creaking]

Here, Spotty.

[bellowing]

Come and get it!

Okay, you win. It's your deal.

Hey, Lou.

I can't take anymore of these weirdoes.
Let's give ourselves up.

Cool it. They're just putting
on an act to make us crack up.

Yeah, and it's working, too.
Not with me, it isn't.

Come on, we'll just
ignore them. This way.

I just finished tarnishing
the candelabrum, Aunt Lily.

Good. They look much better.

It's a little too dark in here.
I'll turn them on.

That does it.
Listen to me, all of you!

Quiet!

Everybody,
into the living room!

(Lou)
Come on, let's go.

(Lou)
Come on, you, too. Go on.

I want all of you to stop all
this kooky stuff you're doing!

But, sir, you said if we all
went about-- Forget what I said.

I want you to sit over there
and not do nothing.

Do you hear me? Nothing!

Do you hear me? Nothing!

[sighing]

That's better.

Nice kitty.

Here, kitty.

[roaring]

They look okay.

We better take a look around and
see nobody is closing in on us.

Boy.

This Little Orphan Annie
sure gets herself into a mess.

I'm sorry I got
us all into this, but...

gee, I was having such fun with my range
finder, my light meter. Adjusting...

Herman, will you stop
babbling?

Grandpa has figured a way out.

(Grandpa)
Yes.

If I could get down to my
laboratory, I could save us.

First, I'd write
a note to the police.

Then I'd mix a potion, changing
myself into a homing pigeon.

A homing pigeon, of course, whose
home is the police station.

Then I'd open the window,
fly to the police station...

drop the note, telling the police
where to come and rescue us.

The only trouble is, how can
I get down to my laboratory...

with those men
right in the kitchen.

Yes, and they'll be back
in a few minutes.

No, they won't.

Because Herman is going into the
kitchen right now and stall them.

[stammering]
I'm going to the...

I am?

Yes, you are.

Well, in that case,
I guess I am.

Boy, the whole neighborhood
is swarming with cops.

Yeah, lucky we're here.

This dump makes a great hideout.
Yeah.

[footsteps approaching]

Hey, green boy, how come
you're not in the living room?

Well, I just came
in here to stall...

I mean to see
if you were comfortable.

Would you care for some milk
or some cookies or something?

No, thank you.

Lou, I think they're trying to pull something.
Let's get back in the living room.

Out of our way.

Say, have you two guys
ever heard the joke

about the astronaut
and the Playboy bunny?

No.

I wish you had, because it
sounds like a great one.

Hey, where's that old man?

What old man is that?

The old creep with the monkey
suit who was sitting right there.

I didn't see any creep. Did
you see any creep, Marilyn?

No, I didn't see any creep.

Did you see any creep, Eddie?

No, I didn't see any creep.

You see,
nobody saw any creep.

If I ever get out of this,
I'm going straight.

"Dear Police, we are being held captive
here at 1313 Mockingbird Lane...

"by the bank robbers.

"Yours very truly,
the Munsters."

Now, for my pigeon potion.

Let me see here.

(Grandpa)
"Stool, tame, fantail...

"wild, carrier, tumbling...

"pouting." There it is!

[laughing]

"Homing Pigeon Potion."

[humming]

Hey, Rod. A trap door.

Pigeon potion, give me transportation
to that good old Police Station.

(Lou)
He?"

There's the old creep.
What are you up to?

Me?
Yeah.

I was just mixing myself
a little cocktail.

I always have a cocktail
this time of the afternoon.

A cocktail?

With what's been going on around
this joint, that's just what I need.

Hold it, Rod. It could be
a Mickey or something.

It can't be. The old ghoul was
going to drink it himself.

Yeah, that's right. Hold it.

I could use
a little belt myself.

Hope you like this, gentlemen.

Cheers.
Cheers.

Not bad.
Let's have another one.

Yeah. We can't
fly on one wing.

[all laughing]

[explosion]

[pigeons cooing]

Call me an old ghoul, will you?
Now, shoo! Up the stairs.

[ringing]

Police station.
Sgt. Baker speaking.

Sergeant.

I just wanted to tell you
that those two robbers...

who held up the bank
this morning...

they're on their way down to the
station to turn themselves in.

Sure they are.

We got another crank
on the phone.

That's right, they'll be
flying in any moment now.

This guy's a beaut.

The crooks will be "flying
in any moment now."

Hey, Sergeant, look!

Hey, wait a minute.

Two birds did just fly in.

They're there?

Yes, sir, they're here.

[explosion]

[Lou mumbling]

Hey, this is handy. They come
with their own evidence.

Come on. Let's get going.

[grunting]

I got to get more fresh air. I've
been behind this desk too long.

Boy, Grandpa, you were great.
You saved all our lives.

You were absolutely brilliant,
turning those men into pigeons.

I'll never yell at you again
for being a mad scientist.

It was nothing.

Wait. Where is Herman?

Isn't he going to even congratulate his
father-in-law for being such a big hero?

He went down
to clean up the lab.

Oh, no. The lab.

I left the whole bottle of my
pigeon potion on the desk.

What am I saying?

Of course he's
not stupid enough to drink--

[explosion]

He must have
drunk the potion.

Is that really Pop?

(pigeon)
Darn!

That's my birdbrain,
Herman!

You call that a bird?

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