All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e38 Yes, Galen, There Is a Herman.engg

Oh, goody, hopscotch.

[Laughs]

- [Laughs]
- Hello, mister.

Oh! Hi there, young fella.

Is that some sort of
game you're playing?

No, it's not a game. I've
got my head stuck in here.

Oh, my. Well, uh, in that case,
you should summon assistance.

- Huh?
- You know, call for help.

But I don't wanna do that, 'cause
people would come and laugh at me.

And then my parents would find
out and yell at me for being dumb.

Oh, yeah, I know.

That can be annoying.

Allow me.

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There you go. Golly!

That was real neat. You must be
the strongest guy in the whole world.

Well, with the possible
exception of Li'l Abner.

- What's your name?
- Uh, my name's Mr. Munster.

But you can call
me Uncle Herman.

My name is Galen Livingston
Stewart, but you may call me Gale.

Oh, thank you. Pleased
to meet you, Gale.

It's been a pleasure
saving your life.

Do you come by here
every day? Yes, I do.

- Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.
- Oh, that would be real boss.

Uh, that means "keen."

I just can't wait to tell my parents
about you, Uncle Herman. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

So, uh, Eddie, I said
to Queen Isabella,

"Why not give this
Columbus cat the jewels?

"I mean, after all,
they're not doing anyone

any good lying around
in the top drawer.

And besides, he might take a
cruise and find something good."

And that, Eddie, is how
Columbus discovered America.

Gee, Grandpa, you've
had a lot of neat adventures.

Oh, yes, Eddie, over the
centuries, you can say I got around.

A very interesting thing happened to
me on the way home from work today.

Oh, that's fine. Eddie,
Eddie, don't just sit there.

Wolf down your food.

I was walking along
the street today...

Grandpa, would you slice
me another piece of meat?

Certainly.

Thank you.

It just so happens that today...

I saved a boy's life.

Mm, that's fine. Oh,
Grandpa, you're not eating.

Well, doesn't anyone want
to hear about my heroic deed?

All right, Herman.
What did you do?

Yes, Herman, we're listening.

I just might not tell you now.

Good. Pass the
brussel sprouts, please.

Now wait a minute. I'm
gonna tell you what happened,

and my whole
family's gonna listen!

Including my rotten
ol' father-in-law.

Okay, Pop, how did
you save a boy's life?

Well, this boy had his
head through an iron fence,

and I unbent the bars
and let him out. Big deal.

Well, if I hadn't, his bones would
have rotted right there on the sidewalk...

and hurt the neighborhood...

and brought down property
values and everything.

So there!

Herman Munster, you
are a plain, ordinary man...

in a plain, ordinary job.

Now why must you insist on these
fantastic stories just to get attention?

But it's true, dear! It-It's
true. I did save his life.

And his name is Galen Livingston
Stewart, and he's my friend.

And I'm gonna meet
him there tomorrow.

Herman, you and your stories.

Sometimes you act so childish, it's
hard to believe you're 150 years old.

Galen Livingston Stewart,
you and your stories.

Sometimes you act so childish, it's
hard to believe you're nine years old.

But it did happen, Mom.

He did save my life, and he
told me to call him Uncle Herman.

Just what did this Uncle
Herman look like, son?

Well, he's about nine feet
tall, and his head was flat.

He had these things
sticking out of his neck.

His hands were sewed on to
his wrists, and he's all green.

Galen Stewart, you get
upstairs to bed this instant.

But it's true, Mom. There
is an Uncle Herman.

All right, upstairs, young man.

And I've warned you about
telling these fantastic stories before.

Excuse me.

I ask you, John, where
would Galen get these ideas...

about these weird-looking,
frightening creatures?

I don't know, dear. Maybe he spent
too much time with your relatives.

There we are.

Hey, that looks
pretty neat. What is it?

What is it? It's my old movie
projector. I got it out of the attic.

I'm gonna show some
of my home movies.

I put a new motor
in it. [Door Creaks]

[Squeaking]

That's great!

That's a 300-cubic-inch squirrel
with overhead cam and hydraulic lifts.

How long have you been
taking home movies, Grandpa?

All my life.

As a matter of fact, I was taking movies
300 years before the camera was invented.

- Gee, that must have been hard.
- Of course it was.

And I'll tell you
something else.

There wasn't even a
drugstore to develop the film.

[Lily] Grandpa! Eddie! Is
Herman down there with you?

No, Mom. Grandpa and I are
just goofin' off by ourselves.

[Door Creaks]

Uncle Herman should
be home by now.

I know. But, you see,
down at the parlor,

they put him in charge of
the complaint department.

He may be working late,
straightening out a customer.

Boo! [Yells]

Boy, Uncle Herman, I
really scared you, didn't I?

Oh. Oh, it's you, Gale.

I almost jumped out of my skin.

And in this cold weather,
that can be very uncomfortable.

Say listen, Gale, I'm on
my way home right now.

And I have a little boy
at home just your age.

How would you like to
come along and meet him?

That'd be great. Oh, good.
Come on. It's just a few blocks.

Oh, uh, just a minute.

[Laughs]

Nothing, really.

[Door Creaks]

Yoo-hoo, Herman's home!

Boy, this is the neatest
house I've ever been in.

Oh, you're just
saying that. Come on.

[Marilyn] Oh, there you
are! You have company.

Yes. I would like you to
meet Galen Livingston Stewart.

How do you... Uncle
Herman, is this your mommy?

Oh, heavens, no. This is our
poor, unfortunate niece, Marilyn.

The rest of the family's
down in the dungeon.

Grandpa's going to
show some home movies.

Oh, that sounds like fun. Would
you like to see them, Gale?

- I think that'd be a gas.
- Perceptive little fellow, isn't he?

[Door Creaks]

After you, Marilyn.

[Projector Whirring]

Grandpa. Grandpa.

Uncle Herman's here,
and he's brought a friend.

Oh, dear. I hope it's not another one
of those stuffed shirts from the parlor.

Grandpa, Lily, Eddie, I
would like you to meet...

the little boy whose life I saved
and who will be eternally grateful...

[Chuckles] Galen Stewart.

[Eddie] Hi, Gale. Hi.

Oh, hello. Hello,
little boy. Hello.

Hiya, kid. Now here,
sit right down here,

and don't make any
noise during the movies.

[Plastic Crinkling]

Hmm?

[Loud Crunching]

Herman, please!

[Projector Whirring]

That's when I played the Loew's
Palermo with my magic act.

I brought the house
down every night.

Oh, I remember that. That's the time
with that backyard barbecue at Pompeii.

Things went a
little out of hand.

[Lily] Oh, look, Grandpa.

Those are the shots
you took of King Arthur.

Yeah, he was mad
at the Saxon gang...

for stealing the
hubcaps off his chariot.

Boy, there was some rumble
down at the old stone bridge.

A lot of water went
under that bridge.

[Grandpa] Yeah, and
a lot of knights too.

Oh, there are those two
fun fellows, Burke and Hare.

I remember we were
going out on a party, and

they were trying to dig
up a couple of friends.

There we are. Typical Sunday
traffic on the Appian Way.

[Lily] I-I think the fellow on the
left is looking for the off-ramp.

He never did find it.

Well, well, well,
the old homestead.

Gale, that's where I spent
most of my childhood,

in three different jars.

[Lily] Oh, dear, look! There's
my old music teacher...

before he went
with Guy Lombardo.

[Eddie] He just disappeared.

No, I think he just took five.

And the house has
trapdoors and secret panels.

And their little kid Eddie
has fangs and pointed ears.

And his grandfather's about 400
years old and looks like Dracula.

I've never heard anything
so ridiculous in my life!

And the mother has long black hair,
and she's green like Uncle Herman.

And they've got a
real, real neat pet,

who lives under the stairs
and breathes fire and smoke.

And they showed home
movies of the burning of Rome...

and all that kind of stuff. Out!

Huh? I said out! You
get up to your room...

and don't you leave
it until you're told.

But what if I get hungry?

Well, maybe your
green Uncle Herman...

will come on over with a nice
big, fat, juicy Dracula burger.

Charcoal-broiled by that
pet that lives under the stairs.

Out! Yes, sir.

John, what are we
going to do about Galen?

His imagination is just
fantastic, those ridiculous lies.

I don't know. I think
it's getting serious.

I think I'll have to take
him to a good psychiatrist...

and see if he can't get to the
bottom of these weird fantasies.

John. Hmm.

Did you make up wild stories
like that when you were his age?

Certainly not.

Well, I made up stories about
Indians and people getting scalped...

and guys being eaten by cannibals,
but I had a perfectly normal childhood.

?? [Humming]

What are you doing, Aunt Lily?

I'm filling the
wastebaskets, Marilyn.

Oh, dear. I hope I have
enough trash to go around.

Well, the trashman
will be here tomorrow.

I'm sure we can
get by till then.

Hey, Mom, is Pop
home from work yet?

Not yet, Eddie.
He'll be here soon.

Well, I want him to
help me to find Spot.

He got out of his yard again.

Oh, dear.

The last time he got out, he
went over to Grant Avenue...

and ate all the tops
off the telephone poles.

[Door Opens, Closes]

Oh, Herman, there you are, dear.

Hey, Pop, have you seen Spot?

[Sighs] No. And I
didn't see Gale either.

I waited for him a half hour
today, but he didn't show up.

I had to play two games
of hopscotch by myself.

Well, may-maybe he had to
stay after school or something.

No, dear, I'm afraid not.

I haven't seen him
for three whole days.

I'm afraid he just doesn't
want to see me anymore.

Oh, Herman.

You can't expect to be a big hero
and save a boy's life every day.

Normal people like us just don't
have exciting adventures all the time.

Well, my life is
duller than most.

The most exciting thing that
happened to me before this...

was 20 years ago, when a
man stopped me on the street...

and asked me if I was
voting for Alf Landon.

Well, d-don't worry about Galen,
Herman. You'll see him again.

He's probably at home now,
playing with some friend...

who's more on his own age level.

Sure, Pop. Come on
and help me find Spot.

Well... I think he'll come
if you whistle for him.

All right.

Spot! Here, Spot!

[Foghorn Blasts]

[German Accent] So,
this, uh, playmate of yours,

this Uncle Herman,
is nine foot tall,

he's all green in the face.

Und on top of his neck,
his head is bolted on, j a?

Yes. And he lives in a neat old
haunted house with a dungeon.

And they have a real neat pet who
lives under the stairs and breathes fire.

You see, Mr. and Mrs. Stewart,
you have here a very intelligent boy.

He remembers all
the details. [Laughs]

Now, young man, if you'll be so nice,
you'll go upstairs to your room and wait.

Ja? Good boy.

Stay away from the windows.

Uh, what do you
think, Dr. Leinbach?

What do I think?
Well, I think...

Well, I think that the boy has
obsessive juvenile fantasies,

coupled with an
overstimulated psyche.

In other words, he is creating
a fantasy world of his own.

See, of course, in reality, we
know that there is no nine-foot giant.

There is no haunted
house. There is no dungeon.

- You mean he makes it all up?
- Ja.

You see, the little Kind looks
at nothing and sees something.

Looking at nothing and seeing
something... oh, oh, oh, that's bad.

Of course, looking at something and
seeing nothing, that ain't so good either.

Well, what should
we do, Dr. Leinbach?

Well, the first thing you've got
to do is to get him to a doctor.

Well, that's why I called you.

Ja. Now let me see if I
can think of somebody.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are we doing here?

I'm a doctor. [Laughs]

I'm a doctor. I
forget sometimes.

Uh, what do you suggest?

Ah, well, I think we have to
rid the boy of these illusions...

by exposing them as false.

You see, now I, myself, will take
little Galen personally by the hand...

to this fictitious house
with these fictitious people,

and then when he sees the
reality that there is no such house...

and there is no such
people, he's cured, j a?

Yeah. Now, please, the
boy from the room, call down.

Call Galen.

Galen, would you come down now?

Yeah, come on down, son.

You and me, we're
going to take a little walk...

and meet your Uncle
Herman face-to-face.

Ja? [Laughs]

[Roaring]

Now none of that,
Spot. Sit! Stay!

Now, Spot, cut that out.

That Spot.

Thanks for helping
me find him, Dad.

Oh, that's quite all
right, Eddie. But you must

remember to keep him
chained in the backyard.

And we've got to break him of that habit
of sneaking down to the wrecking yard...

and begging for leftovers.

Yeah. Last week he
got ahold of an old Edsel,

and he was sick for three days.

Hey, Grandpa's taking his nap.
Would you come down in the dungeon...

and run some more of
his home movies for me?

Sure. Which ones would
you like to see, Eddie?

Oh, how about the track meet
in Transylvania you were in,

when you were a young guy?

Oh, you mean that
cross-country run? Yeah.

You know, Eddie, I was
so far ahead of the pack,

the crowd had to run after me with
torches to show me the finish line.

[Chuckles] Come on.

[Wolf Howling]

See, Dr. Leinbach,
there is too such a house.

Ja, ja, I see a house.

But I also know little boys.

You see an old,
broken-down house,

and you imagine that it's
haunted with green men...

and dungeons and
all sorts of crazy things.

But this is where Uncle Herman
lives. I want you to meet him.

Sure. Sure. Meet
your Uncle Herman.

Go on. We'll knock on the door.

[Knocking Echoes]

Eh, nobody comes, see?

So I prove to you
it's an empty house,

and you forget all of this
nonsense and we go home.

You forget all about
it. All right? Come on.

[Footsteps Approaching]
Quiet. Someone's coming.

[Door Creaks] Yes?
May I help you?

Excuse me, lady.
Uh, you live here?

Well, yes. We've
lived here for years.

Oh, why hello, Galen.

How are you? Hi, Marilyn. I
brought a friend of mine over.

He wants to meet Aunt Lily,
Grandpa, Uncle Herman and Eddie.

Oh, that's just fine. They're
all home. Won't you come in?

If you'll wait just a minute,
I'll tell Aunt Lily you're here.

Aunt Lily! Aunt Lily?

You see, such a nice lady.

You wanna meet Spot?

Spot? Spot? What
is a Spot, what?

Their pet who lives under
the stairs. I told you about him.

Oh, sure, sure.
Him I gotta meet.

[Roars]

Leinbach, you
didn't see an animal.

In reality, you saw a gas pipe
with a leak. You understand?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Whoever saw a gas
pipe with eyes and teeth?

Uh, may I help you?

Hi, Aunt Lily. I brought a friend
of mine over, Dr. Leinbach.

Oh, how do you do?

Oh, excuse my appearance. I was
just getting some olives out of the jar.

If she was getting olives,
I'd hate to see the martinis.

Uh, Marilyn said you
wanted to meet the family.

Well, Grandpa's right
in here taking his siesta.

Let me wake him up.

No, no, no, no, no! Please,
please, don't disturb him.

Oh, all right, but I'm
sure he wouldn't mind.

He hangs around the
house like this all the time.

Isn't this a neat
place, Dr. Leinbach?

Where's Uncle Herman and Eddie?

Oh, well, they're both
downstairs in the dungeon.

I'll get them.

Leinbach, get a
grip on yourself!

You're seeing things
the kid made up!

Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. I know what it is.

I didn't wake up this morning.

I'm having one of
them Freudian dreams.

Look at him. Look at him.

Look at him hanging
there like a bat.

He can't be real.
I'll pinch him.

[Squeaks Like A Bat]
No! No! No! No! No!

Oh, now here are
my two boys now.

Hi, Gale. Hi, Eddie.

Oh, hi, Gale. How are you, son?

Oh, and who is this
you brought with you?

Uh, Herman, this
is Dr. Leinbach.

Oh, how do you do, Dr. Leinbach?

[Stammers] You are Uncle Herman?

- Oh, you're German?
- Ja.

Oh, by any chance, did you know
my family doctor in Germany...

Dr. Frankenstein?

He made me what I am today.

Come on. Come on,
Leinbach. Don't go to pieces.

Remember your training...
17 years in Vienna.

Now you know that what you are
seeing over there doesn't really exist.

It's all in the
mind. It's nothing.

So, please, you're
going to turn around...

and walk right through that
Uncle Herman as if he was air.

That way you'll prove
that he's nothing.

So come on, Siegfried,
you can do it, huh? Come on.

Oh, good heavens! What happened?

That is the hardest hunk
of nothing I ever saw.

Uncle Herman, I think
I'd better take him home.

He looks like he might
get carsick in the house.

- Oh, that's a shame.
- Stick with me, kid.

I'm a sick man.

Drop in anytime.

[Door Opens, Closes]

I don't know what
kind of a doctor he is,

but, you know, he
oughta see a psychiatrist.

That's right, Mom and Dad. We went
over to that neat old haunted house.

Dr. Leinbach met Uncle
Herman and the whole family.

Oh, now, Galen... Now
please, dear. Please.

Galen, we believe you.

We believe that he met
everybody and saw everybody.

He met and saw the
pet that breathes fire,

and the grandpa who
sleeps upside down.

And the little boy with the pointed ears.
And especially green old Uncle Herman.

We believe you. Now,
you've had quite a day.

Why don't you go upstairs
and take your nap. Okay, Pop.

And thank you for believing
about Uncle Herman.

That's all right.

John Stewart, what did
you do that for? What?

Now he'll go on believing
in those stories he made up.

Oh, look, honey. Today, a kid
hasn't got very much he can believe in,

in the way of fairy stories and
giants and knights in armor.

Now if he's got a little
Uncle Herman to believe in,

let him hold on to
it as long as he can.

Maybe you're right, dear.

Oh, by the way, Dr. Leinbach sent
his nurse over today with his bill.

Well, he didn't waste
any time, did he?

No. But it's a funny thing.

A well-known doctor like that,
writing his bills with a crayon?

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