All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e37 Hermans Raise.engg

Hey, Mom? Where's Pop? I
wanna say good night to him.

He's not home yet, Eddie.
He's working late at the parlor.

Why can't he get home on
time like other guys' fathers?

Now Eddie, you have
to understand. In his

business, a lot of things
won't keep till tomorrow.

Good night. Good night.

It's a shame Uncle Herman
has to work this hard.

They certainly take
advantage of him down there.

Well, that's because he's so
conscientious and faithful and loyal and...

What's that word?

- Stupid.
- He is not.

He sure is stupid.
He's a big lummox...

I don't see any reason why you
should talk like that about Herman.

Grandpa, how can you say that
about Uncle Herman? [Door Closes]

- Hi.
- [Lunch Box Thuds On Table]

Why don't you go on talking?

Why did you... Why did you
stop talking when I came in?

[Stammering] Never mind, Herman.

Well, when I come into
a room, and everybody

suddenly stops
talking, it irks me.

It even makes me madder than
when you start spelling out stuff.

We were just all upset
about you working so hard.

Yes, dear, and for
such a low salary.

Do you know what you're going
to do first thing tomorrow morning?

Why, of course I do. I'm
gonna wake up. [Laughs]

You are going to wake up,
and you're going to march

straight into your boss,
Mr. Gateman's office,

and demand a raise in
pay. Lily's right, Herman.

Down at the parlor, why should
you take things lying down?

Well, gee, I don't know.

[Clicks Tongue] I mean, I
can't impose on Mr. Gateman.

He's been so kind to me.

He sent me that get-well card when
I was hit by that diesel locomotive.

At Christmastime, he sent me that
big basket of rotten fruit from California.

It was so thoughtful
of him; I ate it all.

Now listen, Herman.

You're going to look
Mr. Gateman straight in the eye.

You're going to pound on his desk,
and you're going to ask for a raise in pay.

You're gonna be a regular tiger!

Well, all right, if
you say so, dear.

I'll be a tiger. [Growls Weakly]

[Growls Loudly]

[Wind Whistling]

[Door Creaks]

[Screams]

Grandpa, don't
scare a fella like that!

Never mind that. What are you doing
sneaking home in the middle of the day?

I was just hiding outside
till Lily left the house.

What happened with
Mr. Gateman? I did just like Lily said.

I marched into his office. I pounded on
his desk, looked him straight in the eye,

told him what a faithful employee
I'd been and demanded a raise.

And, Grandpa, guess
what? He fired you.

How did you guess?

'Cause I know my son-in-law.

You're a hard-luck guy. If you found
the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,

there'd be a tax
collector sitting on the lid.

What am I gonna tell Lily?
She's been counting on a raise,

and if she finds out
I've been fired, she

might get mad at me
and stamp on the floor...

and say mean things to me
and shake her finger at me.

She might even break my
Huckleberry Hound records.

Now listen, Herman,
you're a grown man, and

you're going to handle
this in an adult manner.

You're gonna do what every red-blooded
American husband does in a case like this.

Don't tell your wife a thing.

Well, Herman,

all through dinner you haven't said a word
about what happened at the parlor today.

[Clears Throat] Oh,
uh, we were quite busy.

In fact, we had a quite
a turnover. [Chuckles]

I mean about your interview
with Mr. Gateman. Oh, that.

We're so anxious, Uncle
Herman. Did he talk to you?

Oh, yes, he, uh, talked to me.

Well, is he going to give
you a raise or isn't he?

Well, you see, dear,
Mr. Gateman is a rather busy man.

I think he wants to take the idea
and sort of, uh, throw it down the well.

- Throw it down the well?
- You know, throw it down the well and see if anyone salutes it.

What kind of
double-talk is that?

Well, you know, Lily, he wants to
take the idea and run it up the flagpole...

and see if it makes a splash.

All businessmen have expressions like
that to keep outsiders from finding out...

that they really don't know
what they're talking about.

Well, I think Mr. Gateman
is giving you the runaround.

He may want to think it over, but I
want an answer by the end of the week.

Well, I think you'll have an answer
by the end of the week... if not sooner.

Marilyn, Eddie, come and
help me take out the dishes.

Whew! Boy, Herman,
that was close.

But at least you've got
till the end of the week.

I'll tell you what, Grandpa.

I figure I'll leave the house every
day as if I was going to the parlor...

and not break the news
to Lily until I get a new job.

Oh, I see. You wanna keep the
news from her as long as you can.

Right. As we say in
business, let's not start

scratching till we know
where the fleas are biting.

[Both Laughing]

[Wind Whistling]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Man Screaming]

Well, here I go. Off to
bring home the bacon.

[Chuckles] Of course, I've
always been a hog for work.

[Laughing]

Herman, it's been a week
since you spoke to Mr. Gateman.

Do you think I'll have a little surprise
tonight when I open your pay envelope?

Oh, yes, I think you'll
have quite a surprise.

Oh, I just know it's going
to be a real nice, big raise.

Well, Mr. Gateman should appreciate
all the hard work you've done.

After all, anyone with his experience
and all his years in the business...

should recognize a live
one when he sees one.

Well, yes, dear. Uh, good-bye.

I'll see you later tonight.

[Door Creaks Open, Closes]

[Exhales] Well, Marilyn, we could certainly
use a little extra money around here.

For one thing, Eddie needs
a new cover for his bed.

The old one is getting so warped,
he can hardly close it at bedtime.

Hey, Mom! Mom!

Pop went off to work without
his lunch box. Oh, dear.

Well, thank you, Eddie. Now go back
to the kitchen and finish your breakfast.

Would you like me to drop
it off on my way to class?

No, Marilyn. I'll
just call the parlor,

leave a message for
Herman with Mr. Gateman.

Oh, uh, Uncle Herman
could eat in a restaurant today.

He says there's one
around the corner that

usually empties out
whenever he gets there.

Hello. Gateman,
Goodbury and Graves?

This is Mrs. Herman Munster. I'd like
to leave a message for my husband.

You see, he... He what? When?

Are you sure? Well...

I see. Well, thank
you very much.

Aunt Lily, what happened? All
the color's rushed into your face.

What happened? Herman's going to work
every morning this week has been a fraud.

The big goofball
got fired last Monday.

What I want to know is what's
Herman been doing this past week...

after he left the
house every morning?

He's been out looking for work.
He's had five jobs in five days.

You can't ask for a better record
than that. He's a perfect failure.

I'm sure, Mr. Tom Fong, sir,

if you'd consider hiring me, I'd
live up to all your expectations.

I advertised "Boy Wanted."

You sure number
one big boy all right.

Thank you. Tell me, you
ever work in laundry before?

No. I, uh, I never have.

I thought maybe you
got caught in mangle.

Hey, I betcha I know what happened,
you rascal. You have fight over girl,

and boyfriend make you
chop, chop, chop on the kisser.

I don't think so. Uh, I mean, if anyone
had gone chop-chop on my kisser,

I think I'd be the
first to know. [Laughs]

[Laughs] You know, I think
you're gonna be all right.

You come over here.

I go show you something,
learn you business upside down.

I go take you in the back room
and show you modus operandi.

"Modus operandi?" Yeah. I "clue
you in," Charlie. Watch yourself.

Oh, boy. Come here now.

Now you see I got
here two machine.

That dryer, that one
over there a washer.

You take the dirty clothes,
you put in a washer.

When bell ring, you take wet
clothes and you put in the dryer.

[Rings] When this bell
rings, you take out dryer,

put in clean hamper, get more
dirty clothes, put in washer.

You do same thing all
the time, back and forth,

back and forth, every
time the bell ring.

You dig?

Uh, when bell ring on dryer, put
dry clothes in hamper. That good.

When bell ring on washer,
put wet clothes in dryer. Uh-huh.

Uh, then put more dirty clothes
in washer. Boy, you very good.

Now come here. I show you more.

When you get all clothes, you
bring over here and you iron.

Now, when you iron, no
goof off. You concentrate.

Don't worry, I'll use my head.

Oh, I don't know. I think more
better use iron. More flatter.

You keep on do that
till whole mess clean up.

You got it, Charlie? Got it.

Now come here.

If you get in trouble... any kind of
trouble... that emergency valve, you know?

And you turn emergency
valve, that shut off everything.

You got it, Charlie? Gotcha.

Good. All right. Oh, uh,
excuse me, Mr. Tom Fong, sir.

But aren't you going to be
here? No, no. I go lunch now.

I go down the street
and get a enchilada.

Well, fine, but, uh, what should
I do if a customer comes in?

Hide.

Grandpa? Grandpa?

What is it, Lily?
Where are you going?

Out. I'm just not gonna stand
by and see my poor Herman...

buffeted and submerged by
the cruel waves of misfortune.

"Waves?" What happened? Did
the bum get a job as a lifeguard?

No. He doesn't have any job.

And as his wife, I'm going
to do something about it.

What can you do? I can do what
women have done for centuries.

"Women have done for centuries?"

I get it. She's going to
butt in and ruin his life.

? This is the way
we wash our clothes ?

? Wash our clothes
Wash our clothes ?

? This is the way we wash our
clothes so early in the morning ??

- [Ringing]
- The bell.

Uh, when bell rings on dryer,
put dry clothes in hamper.

- [Rings]
- Bell. But, I...

Oh. Uh, when bell
rings on washer,

put wet clothes in dryer.

Now, put more dirty
clothes in washer.

There. That was easy.

Herman, you got it made.

- [Rings] - The bell?
Boy, that was quick.

[Bell Ringing]

- [Buzzer Rings]
- [Rings]

- [Ringing]
- [Ringing]

[Bell Ringing] [No
Audible Dialogue]

[Ringing Continues]

[Ringing Continues]

[Ringing]

[Clattering]

[Hissing]

Sprinkler system?
[Frustrated Groan]

In other words, Mrs. Munster,

you're asking me to reinstate
your husband in our employ?

Oh, yes, Mr. Gateman.
Think of it.

He's been here for 17 years.

Why, your parlor has become
his home away from home.

Really, uh, I'm afraid
my mind is made up.

But you can't take all
this a way from him.

Herman's always been so happy
among the flowers and the wreaths.

Surrounded by the restful strains of the
organ music, doing the thing he loves best.

He was just saying
to me the other night,

"Lily," he said, "that
place really grabs me."

Well, that's quite a compliment. But
he demanded an increase in salary.

I'm afraid down here we're
not used to raising people.

? This is the way we quit the
job quit the job, quit the job ?

[Blows]

? This is the way
we quit the job ?

[Sighs] ? So early
in the morning ??

[Bubbling]

Oh, Mr. Gateman. You must
give Herman back his job.

He thinks of you...

not only as just an
employer, but as a father.

I never told anyone
this before, but,

well, at home,

he often refers to you
as "Da-Da Gateman."

Really, Mrs. Munster?
Oh, I tell you...

I tell you, pussycat
looks up to you...

the way Richard Chamberlain
looks up to Raymond Massey.

[Crying] Mrs. Munster,

that's the nicest thing that
anybody ever said to me.

I'll take him back
and give him his raise.

[Crying] Oh, thank
you. Thank you.

Please, go now. I
mustn't cry anymore.

There's a big affair at the cemetery this
afternoon... I can't afford to show up dry.

Oh, thank you, you
dear, sweet, kind man.

Um, we won't tell Herman
that I talked to you, will we?

Oh, of course not, Mrs. Munster.

It's no use, Grandpa. I've lost
six jobs in the last five days.

I'm no good. Even in the laundry
business I'm all washed up.

That's right, Herman. Your
next step should be skid row.

But with President
Johnson wiping out poverty,

a bum like you has
got no place to go.

I shouldn't have been so
cocky when I asked for that raise.

Fate has dealt me
a deserving blow.

As has been said so many times,

"He who blows his own horn
only ends up with a fat lip."

After all, I... [Ringing]

The bell! The bell! I gotta get
the clothes out of the washer!

Will you take it easy?
It's only the telephone.

[Ringing]

[Ringing Continues]

Hello. Oh, hello, Mr. Gateman.

Uh, sir, about the other day, I'm
very sorry. I had no intention of...

You want me to what?

Report for work in the morning?

You found you couldn't
get along without me?

Well, I'll tell you,
Gatey, old boy,

I've had a few other
offers, and I'd, uh, like time

to consider what's best
for me in this situation.

Oh, boy. One minute
he's Little Orphan Annie,

the next minute he's
Charles de Gaulle.

I can have my raise. Oh.

Well, I guess under
those circumstances,

I would be willing to
resume in your employ.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.
[Chuckles] You're very kind.

[Laughing] Oh, boy, Herman!

You got your job
back and the raise.

What did you expect?

Oh, you're home, dear.

Herman, I found out all
about your losing your job,

and I want you to know that
we're behind you a hundred percent.

Oh, yes, Uncle Herman. We'll
help you in any way we can.

Now, now, now.
That's not necessary.

It just so happens
Mr. Gateman has just called...

and has begged me to come back.

Herman, you don't
mean to tell me...

Of course, I
insisted on the raise,

but I knew sooner or
later he'd come around.

Oh, Herman. You're so forceful,

and you're such a marvelous
husband and father to your little brood.

You know, Herman, we
look up to you to guide us...

and protect us against the
trials and tribulations of life.

You have made... right here
at home... Our own ponderosa.

Aw, shucks, girl.

Uh, on top of that, I ain't
never said a discouraging word.

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