All language subtitles for The Bernie Mac Show s01e11 The King and I.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,472 America, you're a democracy. 2 00:00:20,545 --> 00:00:24,635 You have all kinds of freedom and equality, and that's great. 3 00:00:24,716 --> 00:00:27,516 And that works for you, and I respect that. 4 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,154 But we got a different system here at the Mac household. 5 00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:32,146 It's called "dictatorship." 6 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,608 And it works like this-- 7 00:00:33,683 --> 00:00:37,613 See, I am the king, and what I say goes. 8 00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:40,607 All the other folks, they're my subjects. 9 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:42,820 I have my queen, Wanda... 10 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,746 Your Highness. 11 00:00:47,823 --> 00:00:49,543 My lady. 12 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,706 (chuckling) 13 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:52,875 I know how to pick 'em... 14 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:53,923 (clears throat) 15 00:00:53,995 --> 00:00:55,715 I got my princess... 16 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,559 Thank you. 17 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:08,072 Oh... 18 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,359 I've got my court jester... 19 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,400 What's happening, my man? 20 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,856 (laughing) 21 00:01:17,936 --> 00:01:18,856 Oh, here. 22 00:01:18,937 --> 00:01:20,407 Give it here. 23 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:24,950 (clears throat) 24 00:01:25,026 --> 00:01:28,086 And my royal pain in the ass... 25 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,757 My royal pain in the ass! 26 00:01:35,453 --> 00:01:37,683 Ew, these fries are cold. 27 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,136 Is that... 28 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,270 Help yourself. 29 00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:54,597 (dance music playing on TV) 30 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:55,901 BOTH: Aww. 31 00:01:55,974 --> 00:01:57,474 Let's go to bed. 32 00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:59,862 -But our favorite show is on next. -What's the name of it? 33 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,240 -Uh... -Yeah, just like 34 00:02:01,313 --> 00:02:01,953 I thought-- let's go to bed. 35 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,792 BOTH: Aww. 36 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,296 Every night I go through the same thing. 37 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,787 I don't know what I got to do to get these kids to listen. 38 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,133 Stand on top of my head? 39 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,630 See, Shannon, I am way out of practice. 40 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,928 Are you kidding? 41 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,550 There are a lot of girls on the team 42 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,138 who can't even do what you just did. 43 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:27,643 Like who? 44 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,974 You know Debbie Menna? 45 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,719 Oh, yeah, she's pretty. 46 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,810 Not when she tries 47 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,145 a straddle and falls on her face. 48 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,776 Get out, I'm busy. 49 00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,786 But Uncle Bernie said we have to go to bed now. 50 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,362 Can't I have one minute to myself? 51 00:02:44,439 --> 00:02:45,829 Dang. 52 00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:49,488 Okay, look, you can stay up another half hour and that's it. 53 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,829 Yeah! 54 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,424 But Uncle Bernie said we have to go to bed. 55 00:02:53,498 --> 00:02:55,788 Well, I'm saying you can stay up. This is my house, too. 56 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:57,727 I've got rights. 57 00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,751 And if Bernie Mac's got a problem with that, well, tough... 58 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:01,850 poop. 59 00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:08,352 Hey. 60 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,511 I thought I told you all to go to bed. 61 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,680 Vanessa said we could stay up. 62 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,019 -Nessa? -Yup. 63 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,944 And she said you have tough poop. 64 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,295 Nessa! 65 00:03:19,374 --> 00:03:20,694 I'm gonna count to three. 66 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,107 Just come tomorrow. 67 00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:24,565 -I don't know. -One! 68 00:03:24,646 --> 00:03:26,146 It'll get you out of this house. 69 00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:27,661 What time is practice? 70 00:03:27,732 --> 00:03:29,582 Two! Three! 71 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:30,870 What? 72 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,094 This is what I'm talking about. 73 00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,842 Nessa, did you say they could stay up? 74 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,044 -So? -So? 75 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,366 When did you become boss around here? 76 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,040 You should thank me. 77 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,199 Come again? 78 00:03:40,279 --> 00:03:42,249 You are the one who's always complaining 79 00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:44,800 about how hard it is to get these kids to bed. 80 00:03:44,874 --> 00:03:47,804 Every night, you yell and chase them, and before you know it, 81 00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:50,137 they've squeezed an extra hour out of you. 82 00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:51,193 At least. 83 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,005 Whereas, you can just let them stay up 84 00:03:53,091 --> 00:03:54,851 and fall asleep in front of the TV, 85 00:03:54,926 --> 00:03:56,096 and you can carry them to bed. 86 00:03:56,177 --> 00:03:57,887 Is that right? 87 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,141 You'd think you'd learn. 88 00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:00,814 You got it all together, right? 89 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:03,400 Well, let me break it down to you, Nessa. 90 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,606 The point is, I make the rules. I give the bed times. 91 00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:08,608 I give the orders. 92 00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:11,070 And I expect all the orders to be carried out 93 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,701 without any interference from you. 94 00:04:12,777 --> 00:04:13,847 Is that understood? 95 00:04:13,929 --> 00:04:15,909 -Yeah. -Thank you. 96 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,419 -I want you two to go to bed right now. -But... 97 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:22,800 Okay, come on, Bry. 98 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,214 You see that? 99 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:28,885 Without any interference from you. 100 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,469 America, follow me to the throne room. 101 00:04:33,548 --> 00:04:36,638 The king wishes to have a private audience. 102 00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:38,088 Immediately. 103 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,940 The king is weary from battle, y'all. 104 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,318 You all see what I go through. 105 00:04:47,395 --> 00:04:50,785 America, and most nights, it's not that easy. 106 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,781 Yeah. 107 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,450 Why was it that easy? 108 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,789 What happened back there? 109 00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:02,005 Come on, let's look at that scene again. 110 00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:06,843 All right, there go the Mac man, I'm cool. 111 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,055 Collected. 112 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:11,683 I'm laying down the law. I like that. 113 00:05:11,753 --> 00:05:12,763 I give the orders. 114 00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:14,547 Smooth, in control. 115 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:17,351 All right, let's see what's going on. 116 00:05:17,425 --> 00:05:18,635 That understood? 117 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:19,638 Yeah. 118 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,899 Thank you. 119 00:05:20,979 --> 00:05:22,809 I want you two to go to bed right now. 120 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,949 -But... -Oh! 121 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,936 Oh, hold on, hold on. 122 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,783 Rewind that back. 123 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,318 Let's reexamine this. 124 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,492 Did you see that? See what I saw? 125 00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,826 I want you two to go to bed right now. 126 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,996 -But... -Look. 127 00:05:39,081 --> 00:05:40,711 Skunk. 128 00:05:40,782 --> 00:05:43,832 Trickaration! 129 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,300 Oh, oh, she signaled him. You saw it. 130 00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:50,272 Right under my own nose, in my own house. 131 00:05:50,342 --> 00:05:52,932 Now how long this been going on? 132 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:55,062 You can't trust nobody. 133 00:05:56,881 --> 00:05:59,181 Do I have to eat it? 134 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,769 Yes. 135 00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,935 Bye. 136 00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:06,193 -Hey! -Uh-huh. 137 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,186 I don't want to take a bath. 138 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,399 No bath, no movie. 139 00:06:10,478 --> 00:06:11,998 Now the choice is yours. 140 00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:14,618 Okay, bath. 141 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,285 All this time, undermining my authority. 142 00:06:21,364 --> 00:06:23,214 Who does she think she is? 143 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,503 I'm the king of this castle. 144 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,181 She don't pull no strings around here. 145 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,424 I do! 146 00:06:28,496 --> 00:06:30,056 I'm the puppet master. 147 00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:31,922 I gotta look at it again. 148 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,060 I'm going to pop. 149 00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,161 Real clever, Nessa. 150 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,145 Where I come from, they call that "slick." 151 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:54,989 What are you talking about? 152 00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:56,244 What am I talking about? 153 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,536 You know what I'm talking about. 154 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,528 Little games you're playing with the kids. 155 00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:02,201 Signals, the head nod, winks, and all that kind of stuff. 156 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,870 Yeah. 157 00:07:03,948 --> 00:07:05,918 I got you faded, baby. 158 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,052 -You're trippin'. -Oh, I'm trippin'. 159 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,338 Yeah, okay, I'm trippin'... 160 00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:10,592 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 161 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,133 Let me ask you kids something. 162 00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:13,597 Who's the boss around here? 163 00:07:15,376 --> 00:07:17,216 Don't look at her. Answer the question. 164 00:07:17,295 --> 00:07:19,215 Baby girl, who's the person 165 00:07:19,297 --> 00:07:21,427 -of authority around here? -Don't look at them, Nessa. 166 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,482 Come on, baby girl. 167 00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,141 Tell me, who's the one with authority? 168 00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:26,270 Come on. 169 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,026 Answer the question-- who's the leader? 170 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:32,777 (both talking at once) 171 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,955 Oh, I'm sorry, America. 172 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,794 How you doing? 173 00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,629 You know, I'm just sitting here thinking about sleigh dogs. 174 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,295 You know, those husky dogs 175 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,304 that pull Eskimos all around the North Pole? 176 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,137 I was just sitting here thinking 177 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,672 that life's like a team of dogs, 178 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,097 because, if you're not the lead dog, 179 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,178 the only view is another dog's ass. 180 00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:09,191 Is that what life has in store for me? 181 00:08:09,264 --> 00:08:10,864 Bernie Mac? 182 00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:13,331 Nothing but dog ass? 183 00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:19,202 America, I used to be the lead dog. 184 00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:21,674 They used to look at my ass. 185 00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:23,993 Boy, it smells good up in here. 186 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,330 Pork chops! 187 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,995 Baby, that's fancy. What's the occasion? 188 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,304 We're celebrating. 189 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,916 Vanessa made the gymnastics team. 190 00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,004 Go, Nessa! 191 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,103 Ho-ho... hold on. 192 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,770 It ain't one of those things 193 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,259 where I got to get up at 5:00 in the morning 194 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,513 and drop you off somewhere, is it? 195 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,215 Practice is after school. 196 00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:42,045 Go, Nessa! Yeah! 197 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,850 Yum! Brownies! 198 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:45,823 I want one! Can I have one? Can I have one? 199 00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,852 Hell, no, you can't have no brownie. 200 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,397 Wait a minute. 201 00:08:50,471 --> 00:08:53,571 America, I don't have to be the boss anymore. 202 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:55,531 Vanessa got the power. 203 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,372 And you know what? I won't fight it. 204 00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,565 I'll use it to my advantage. 205 00:08:59,647 --> 00:09:02,787 Let her be the boss of them, and I'll be the boss of her. 206 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:04,627 Aha! Doggone it! 207 00:09:04,703 --> 00:09:07,373 I boss her, she bosses them. 208 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,157 I got two less kids I have to talk to. 209 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,665 Doggone, Bernie Mac! 210 00:09:11,743 --> 00:09:13,643 Why didn't I think of that earlier? 211 00:09:13,712 --> 00:09:15,002 Whoo! 212 00:09:15,079 --> 00:09:16,879 She'll see. 213 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:20,166 (laughing) 214 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,585 Yeah! 215 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,550 Better yet, I changed my mind. 216 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,271 You want a brownie, you can have one, son. 217 00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:28,272 All right! 218 00:09:28,343 --> 00:09:29,933 But it ain't up to me. 219 00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:30,941 It's not? 220 00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:32,272 No. It's up to Nessa. 221 00:09:32,347 --> 00:09:34,607 See, she's the one with the authority. 222 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:36,322 What do you say, Nessa? 223 00:09:36,392 --> 00:09:38,192 Would it be all right for your baby brother 224 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,573 to fill up on dessert before dinner? 225 00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:40,996 -(horn honking) -That's Shannon. 226 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,280 I got to go practice. I'll eat when I get home. 227 00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:43,987 No, no, no. Nessa, Nessa, come on, now. 228 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,867 Can your brother have a brownie or what, come on? 229 00:09:45,943 --> 00:09:48,543 -Whatever your Uncle Bernie says. -(horn honking) 230 00:09:48,613 --> 00:09:50,583 He says I could. 231 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,707 Yes! 232 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,017 No! Bernie! 233 00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:55,131 I cannot believe that girl got me again. 234 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,213 When I try... 235 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,762 What the heck is going on? 236 00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:01,928 Nessa. 237 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,928 Dance, Uncle Bernie, dance. 238 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,444 That's you, Nessa. 239 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,305 Nessa, stop! 240 00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:11,774 Keep dancing, ha, ha! 241 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,004 I'm black. 242 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,439 At least keep me on the... on the beat. 243 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,484 Thank you, thank you. 244 00:10:15,556 --> 00:10:18,016 (sinister laugh) 245 00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:18,991 Nessa. 246 00:10:19,069 --> 00:10:20,119 Nessa! 247 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,077 (girls talking and laughing) 248 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,198 You get your little self in here. 249 00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:28,406 I don't want to sleep in the office. 250 00:10:28,486 --> 00:10:30,496 I want to stay at Vanessa's party. 251 00:10:30,571 --> 00:10:33,121 Jordan, slumber parties are for girls, honey. 252 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,419 No boys allowed. 253 00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:37,172 Why, so they can talk about their boobies? 254 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:40,045 Ha, Jordan said boobies. 255 00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:41,843 Boobies! (laughs) 256 00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:44,766 Well, that's the last time we have sugar before bed. 257 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:45,934 She walked through the house. 258 00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,183 No one was there. 259 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,675 All the lights was off. 260 00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:54,887 She screamed, she hollered, but no one heard her. 261 00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:57,231 The phone was dead. 262 00:10:57,306 --> 00:11:00,146 And she reached for the knob. 263 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,240 And there was a bloody hook. 264 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,444 From the last person 265 00:11:06,516 --> 00:11:09,406 who touched Bernie Mac's stereo without his permission. 266 00:11:09,485 --> 00:11:13,035 (sinister laugh) 267 00:11:13,114 --> 00:11:14,964 Okay, can you leave? 268 00:11:15,032 --> 00:11:16,172 Yeah. 269 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:19,422 Okay, yes, I'll leave. 270 00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:23,205 But seriously, if you girls get hungry, 271 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,271 go to a restaurant. 272 00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,108 Enjoy yourself. 273 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,929 Have pleasant dreams, you little... 274 00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:32,708 All right. 275 00:11:32,784 --> 00:11:35,154 Okay... (laughs) 276 00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:39,355 Good night. 277 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,272 (sinister laugh) 278 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:44,030 He's a professional comedian? 279 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:47,253 (all talking at once) 280 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,201 Hey, get out. 281 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,710 It's our room, too. 282 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,252 You share a room with your little brother? 283 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,876 How do you get any privacy? 284 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,292 I don't, that's the problem. 285 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,350 Jordan, get out! 286 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,052 I need my helicopter. 287 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,758 Hi, I'm Jordan. 288 00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,934 Okay, you got it, now go. 289 00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:12,683 No, I need my rescue wings. 290 00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:16,477 (sports announcer from TV) 291 00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:17,732 Will you tell 292 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,564 that little brat to stop bothering us? 293 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,809 (chuckles) 294 00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:24,231 Shoot, babe, I would love to help you out, 295 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,700 but he won't listen to me. 296 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,069 He only listens to you. 297 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,907 That's sick. 298 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,672 Hi, hi-dee, boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo. 299 00:12:34,195 --> 00:12:36,075 Look, I'm a gymnast! 300 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,995 I'm about to do a double flip-flop 301 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:40,294 with a banana split. 302 00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:42,498 That's very tough. 303 00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:43,958 Look, I have boobies, too. 304 00:12:44,038 --> 00:12:44,958 See? 305 00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:46,349 ALL: Aww! 306 00:12:46,424 --> 00:12:47,764 Oh, that's nothing. 307 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,384 -Look what I got. -(gasping) 308 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,265 (screams) 309 00:12:57,260 --> 00:13:00,060 Jordan, I told you to keep that in the barn. 310 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,767 I never ask for anything around here. 311 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:03,859 But the one time 312 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,983 that I want something for myself, 313 00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:06,980 they ruin it. 314 00:13:07,061 --> 00:13:08,151 It's not fair. 315 00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:09,989 And it's bad enough that I have to share 316 00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:12,124 a room with them in the first place. 317 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,790 Okay, go back to your party. 318 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,622 They won't bother you anymore. 319 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,457 Thank you. 320 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,957 Now, you two. 321 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,795 You have got to stop bothering your sister. 322 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:29,086 She's a teenager now, and she needs her privacy, 323 00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:32,466 which means you have to give her her space. 324 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,725 BOTH: Do we have to, Uncle Bernie? 325 00:13:36,173 --> 00:13:37,813 I'm afraid so. 326 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,438 Did you see that? 327 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,449 Those kids asked me-- the Alpha Dog. 328 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:45,022 I'm leading the sled again, baby. 329 00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:49,939 All you other dogs, get in line, 'cause it's sniffin' time. 330 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:50,951 (sniffing) 331 00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:53,446 (howling) 332 00:13:53,524 --> 00:13:54,464 Yes, sir. 333 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,134 (barks) 334 00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:01,746 ♪ I'm the lead dog ♪ 335 00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:03,124 ♪ Woof♪ 336 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,380 ♪ Dog ♪ 337 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,382 ♪ Woof♪ 338 00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:09,183 ♪ Dog, Mac the lead dog ♪ 339 00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,297 ♪ Woof♪ 340 00:14:10,374 --> 00:14:11,634 ♪ Dog ♪ 341 00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:12,879 ♪ Woof♪ 342 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,724 ♪ Dog, oh, lead dog ♪ 343 00:14:15,796 --> 00:14:16,796 ♪ Woof♪ 344 00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,181 Hey, Vanessa's home. 345 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,517 Can you teach me how to do a cartwheel? 346 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,193 I've been doing cartwheels all day, and I need to crash. 347 00:14:23,271 --> 00:14:24,731 But you promised. 348 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:25,779 Oh, good, you're home. 349 00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:27,367 You can help me with my model plane. 350 00:14:27,442 --> 00:14:28,822 Ask your Uncle Bernie. 351 00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:30,743 He get impatient and he jams the pieces. 352 00:14:30,811 --> 00:14:31,861 What did I say? 353 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,038 Well, I want ice cream. 354 00:14:33,114 --> 00:14:34,664 Can you get my lactose pill? 355 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:38,121 No, I'm sick of doing everything for you guys. 356 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:39,094 Go ask Bigfoot. 357 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:44,419 KIDS: "Uncle Bernie?! Uncle Bernie?! Uncle Bernie?!" 358 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:45,882 What?! What?! What?! 359 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,082 Do I eat nutmeg? 360 00:14:47,161 --> 00:14:48,671 Start my orange. 361 00:14:48,746 --> 00:14:50,246 Are these dirty? 362 00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:52,131 Pick a color. 363 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,512 Pull my finger. 364 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,298 Hold my gum. 365 00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:57,228 What's a lesbian? 366 00:14:57,305 --> 00:14:59,345 I can't feel anything. 367 00:14:59,423 --> 00:15:01,813 I mean, I'm completely numb. 368 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,348 They worked all my nerves. 369 00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:05,768 Every last one. 370 00:15:05,846 --> 00:15:08,646 Somebody call a nerve-ologist. 371 00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:11,234 That's the study of nerves. 372 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,334 They drove me crazy. 373 00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:19,411 Hey, stranger. 374 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,075 Long practice? 375 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,583 Mm. 376 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,546 Bryana and I made cupcakes. 377 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:30,801 We saved you one, but Jordan ate the top. 378 00:15:32,915 --> 00:15:35,465 They really miss you, you know. 379 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,133 Maybe this Saturday-- 380 00:15:37,211 --> 00:15:39,801 I have a meet on Saturday. 381 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,140 -Well, maybe after. -That won't work, because we're all going out after. 382 00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:46,137 Nessa, look here, I know you got your gymnastic thing going on, 383 00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:48,020 but let me tell you something, girl. 384 00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:50,227 You cold gotta find time to raise your own kids. 385 00:15:50,307 --> 00:15:51,477 What? 386 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:52,729 What? 387 00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:54,490 I gave baby girl 14 piggyback rides, 388 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,702 and if I pull your brother's finger one more doggone time, 389 00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:59,873 I'm gonna pull it off. 390 00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,452 Why do you keep putting this on me? 391 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,787 What you talking about? 392 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,502 They're not my responsibility. 393 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,092 I have my own life. 394 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,916 Why can't you all just understand that? 395 00:16:07,992 --> 00:16:10,962 Vanessa, it's just that we never see you. 396 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,667 Good. That's the way I want it right now. 397 00:16:13,748 --> 00:16:16,418 Why can't you all just leave me alone? 398 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,020 What? What'd I say? 399 00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:23,971 Bernie, what are you doing? 400 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,850 Working out some aggression, 401 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,640 so I can keep from killing that girl. 402 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,861 Bernie, teenage girls have it hard, 403 00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:33,530 and Vanessa's had it tougher than most. 404 00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:37,819 Well, she got it going on pretty easy now. 405 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,857 Well, I don't know about that. 406 00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,700 I mean, back in Chicago, 407 00:16:41,776 --> 00:16:44,076 she pretty much raised those kids. 408 00:16:44,153 --> 00:16:47,203 And if you think about it, she kind of still is. 409 00:16:47,281 --> 00:16:48,961 Well, she doing a piss-poor job at it, 410 00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:50,713 'cause those kids are running wild. 411 00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:52,635 At least they get to run wild. 412 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,462 She never had the chance. 413 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,142 I mean, think about it. 414 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:58,555 She's never really been a kid. 415 00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:02,307 Let's not rob her of being a teenager, too. 416 00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:05,574 Hmm, I never thought of that. 417 00:17:06,884 --> 00:17:07,854 Bernie. 418 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,887 What? 419 00:17:08,969 --> 00:17:11,059 I think I have a great idea. 420 00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:13,568 (classical music plays) 421 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:40,015 (cheering) 422 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,711 Oh, hey, Vanessa. 423 00:18:09,864 --> 00:18:11,374 I want you to meet my mom. 424 00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:12,468 Hi. 425 00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,582 Vanessa, your beam routine was perfect. 426 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,250 You are so graceful. 427 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,882 -Thanks. -Didn't I tell you she was awesome? 428 00:18:17,955 --> 00:18:20,455 Do you need a ride? 429 00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:22,311 -Sure. -Okay. 430 00:18:33,637 --> 00:18:35,397 Hey, how was the meet? 431 00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:37,522 Fine. 432 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,400 You all lost, huh? 433 00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:39,605 No, we won. 434 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,985 You won? 435 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,990 Oh, I wish we could have been there. 436 00:18:43,063 --> 00:18:44,953 -Well, who stopped you? -You. 437 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:48,084 -I did? -Yes, sir... 438 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:50,412 Well, honey, you said you wanted to be left alone. 439 00:18:50,487 --> 00:18:52,407 We thought we were giving you space. 440 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,663 Figures. 441 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,921 Somehow, it's always my fault. 442 00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:58,343 Hey, hey, hey, come here, man. 443 00:18:58,412 --> 00:19:00,212 Wh-wh-where you going? 444 00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:03,089 To my room. Do you mind? 445 00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,277 No, we don't mind. 446 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,840 But that's not the way to your room. 447 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,020 It's not? 448 00:19:12,927 --> 00:19:15,107 Ta-da! 449 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,490 This is your room. 450 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,467 You like it? 451 00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:26,742 She don't like it. I told you she wouldn't. 452 00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:28,205 Bernie. 453 00:19:31,579 --> 00:19:33,119 I know, sugar. 454 00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:36,497 Sometimes it's all just too much. 455 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,825 Nessa, did somebody say something or do something to you? 456 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,341 'Cause I swear to God, I'll kill them. 457 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:43,512 I looked for you guys, but you weren't there. 458 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,796 And everybody else had family and I was alone. 459 00:19:46,877 --> 00:19:48,287 It's all right. 460 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:51,220 We will be at every one from now on. 461 00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,108 Who won? Who won? 462 00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,023 Why are you crying? 463 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,685 Don't you like your new room? 464 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,654 She loves it. 465 00:20:00,724 --> 00:20:01,834 I love it, too. 466 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,439 These floors are perfect for Hot Wheels. 467 00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,329 Ain't no Hot Wheels are going to be nowhere around here. 468 00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,784 I gave up my bench and weights for another play room. 469 00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:08,986 I catch you in here, I'll kill you. 470 00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:11,446 Kids, this is Vanessa's room now. 471 00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:14,407 You can only play here if she invites you. 472 00:20:14,488 --> 00:20:16,328 Are you going to invite us? 473 00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:18,827 All right, now you two need to get ready for bed. 474 00:20:18,909 --> 00:20:20,789 BOTH: Do we have to? 475 00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,420 -Yes. -Yes. 476 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,480 Okay. 477 00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:36,109 You know, I never had my own room before. 478 00:20:40,189 --> 00:20:41,829 And you know what? 479 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:45,397 The first time I ever understood what you've been going through, 480 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,401 and I didn't handle it well. 481 00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,659 So, I hope this makes up for it. 482 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:51,816 Hey... 483 00:20:51,893 --> 00:20:53,383 So, come on, man, what you think? 484 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:57,043 You ain't tell me what you think about the room yet. 485 00:20:57,114 --> 00:20:58,214 Well... 486 00:20:58,282 --> 00:20:59,592 I see a phone. 487 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:00,787 Okay. 488 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:04,138 But no cable. 489 00:21:05,956 --> 00:21:07,596 There you have it, America. 490 00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:09,545 I spared her life. 491 00:21:09,626 --> 00:21:10,886 You know why? 492 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:14,510 A good king knows when to show mercy. 493 00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:15,860 Mm. 494 00:21:19,219 --> 00:21:21,989 It's good to be king. 495 00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:30,663 ♪ Hearts of fire creates love desire ♪ 496 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:33,240 ♪ Take you high and higher ♪ 497 00:21:33,317 --> 00:21:36,167 Captioned by VISUAL DATA 498 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,286 ♪ Mac's the lead dog ♪ 499 00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:47,210 ♪ I said, dog ♪ 500 00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,419 ♪ Dog ♪ 501 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,720 ♪ 'Cause I'm the lead dog ♪ 502 00:21:51,794 --> 00:21:52,844 ♪ That's right ♪ 503 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,300 ♪ Dog ♪ 504 00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:57,390 ♪ Dog ♪ 505 00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:58,596 ♪ The lead dog ♪ 506 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:00,059 ♪ Pay attention everybody ♪ 507 00:22:00,135 --> 00:22:03,395 ♪ Dog, ha, dog ♪ 508 00:22:03,472 --> 00:22:04,812 ♪ America, I said ♪ 509 00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:05,950 ♪ Woof♪ 510 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,315 ♪ Oh! ♪ 511 00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,743 (production crew laughing) 512 00:22:09,793 --> 00:22:14,343 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34077

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