Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,047 --> 00:00:24,057
Man, I'm tired.
2
00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:26,022
I'm too tired to talk.
3
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,353
I'm too tired to eat.
4
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,898
I'm too tired...
5
00:00:30,972 --> 00:00:32,862
I ain't never that tired.
6
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:33,903
(chuckles)
7
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:37,025
I'm even too tired to laugh.
8
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,154
Let me tell you something:
9
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:39,800
Boarding school.
10
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,695
Send your kids
to boarding school.
11
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,365
America,
you know those schools
12
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,243
that were invented
for rich folks
13
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,120
who didn't have time
for their kids?
14
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:49,367
Man, let me tell you,
I used to judge them.
15
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,429
I used to think real low
of them people.
16
00:00:51,502 --> 00:00:52,682
Not anymore.
17
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,213
See, now I understand.
18
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:58,048
If you can afford it
and you got the opportunity,
19
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,085
send your kids
to boarding school.
20
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:04,228
Shoot, me, I can afford it.
21
00:01:07,217 --> 00:01:09,527
I just ain't got
the opportunity.
22
00:01:11,179 --> 00:01:13,979
Doing real good,
touring all over the place.
23
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,357
Got plenty of money.
24
00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:18,113
(sighs)
25
00:01:18,186 --> 00:01:21,526
(beeping)
26
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,070
Bernie, wake up.
It's time for school.
27
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,871
I don't feel like getting up
right now, baby.
28
00:01:25,944 --> 00:01:28,874
I made the kids' lunches
and I fixed a pot of oatmeal.
29
00:01:28,947 --> 00:01:30,707
Makes sure
that Jordan eats.
30
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,311
His blood sugar is low.
31
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,054
I picked out a cute outfit
for Bryana.
32
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,418
I wish I could see her.
33
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,096
Come on, Bernie.
Don't make them late for their first day.
34
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,131
Baby, I got a full half an hour.
35
00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:45,100
Ain't nobody going to be late.
36
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,102
You wanted to be a daddy?
37
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,064
Get to daddying.
38
00:01:49,134 --> 00:01:51,114
(beeping)
39
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,899
What's up? Busting loose.
Time to do it.
40
00:01:55,974 --> 00:01:57,204
Come on, now.
41
00:01:57,276 --> 00:01:58,686
All right, let's go. Let's go.
Let's get up.
42
00:01:58,768 --> 00:02:01,818
Jordan, let's get up.
Where baby girl at?
43
00:02:01,897 --> 00:02:03,077
Come on, Vanessa.
44
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,727
(mumbles)
45
00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:08,078
I'll bet if I stop feeding you,
you have something to say.
46
00:02:08,153 --> 00:02:09,703
Come on, now,
Jordan, get up!
47
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:10,829
I don't feel good.
48
00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:12,116
Jordan, don't even try that.
49
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,499
And where the hell
is baby girl at?!
50
00:02:13,575 --> 00:02:14,755
Right here.
51
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:15,875
Hey. Now,
52
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,211
where were you, baby girl?
53
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,547
I was having a BM.
54
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:20,753
A BM?
55
00:02:20,824 --> 00:02:23,804
Oh, you mean you were doing
number two.
56
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,847
No. I was having a BM.
57
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,517
Number two
is how babies say it.
58
00:02:30,592 --> 00:02:32,982
Okay, I'm sorry. You're right.
59
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,653
You're not a baby.
You're a big girl!
60
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,562
No, I'm not a big girl.
61
00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,531
I'm a princess.
62
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,654
Okay, I understand. I get it.
63
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,490
Yeah, okay, Princess.
Let's get dressed.
64
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,206
Okay.
65
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,329
Yesterday she wanted
to be a goldfish.
66
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,458
That's okay. She'll learn.
67
00:02:57,535 --> 00:02:59,705
But I got her into Wellington,
68
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,758
the number-one preschool
in the Southland.
69
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,552
Man, look at this brochure.
70
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:07,336
Fancy. Look at
the kids on here.
71
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,050
They even look smart.
72
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:10,810
Just brimming with knowledge.
73
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,811
Baby girl going to be on this.
You watch and see.
74
00:03:13,885 --> 00:03:16,385
I just can't wait
until baby girl experience
75
00:03:16,471 --> 00:03:18,231
some of this quality teaching.
76
00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:19,586
We don't teach.
77
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:23,736
We've replaced the word "teach"
with "reach."
78
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,362
We reach the children
79
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,992
by focusing
on what they want to do.
80
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,120
WANDA:
Oh, I heard about this.
81
00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:32,913
-It's child-centric.
-Exactly.
82
00:03:32,988 --> 00:03:34,398
Sound like to me, ma'am,
83
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,615
that you're letting the kids
run the school.
84
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,000
Yes.
85
00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:39,856
What type of program is that?
86
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,996
So you mean to tell me
if a person wants to sit in their urine,
87
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,610
that's what
they're going to learn?
88
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,380
"Hey, class, Jimmy wants
to sit in his urine
89
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,798
so we're going to learn
urine-sitting."
90
00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:49,207
That's crazy.
91
00:03:49,288 --> 00:03:53,058
I'm sorry, y'all,
I just don't understand.
92
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,063
I'm sorry.
I just don't understand.
93
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,625
I mean, what's next?
94
00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:59,063
You going to start allowing
the boys to wear dresses?
95
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:02,439
(chuckling)
Oh, see, we do our best
96
00:04:02,517 --> 00:04:06,067
not to stereotype the children
into traditional roles.
97
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,486
We here at Wellington
98
00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:10,124
have always had
a gender-neutral policy.
99
00:04:10,191 --> 00:04:11,551
Gender neutral?
100
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:12,976
So girls don't have
to grow up thinking
101
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,750
that they only have
to be housewives or subservient to men.
102
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,623
I think that's great.
103
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,881
You won't find any
Wellington girls hanging around
104
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,167
waiting for their knight
in shining armor.
105
00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:25,887
(laughing)
106
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,256
Yes, honey?
107
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,274
I'm a princess.
108
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,902
I know you're a princess,
109
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,434
but at school, you got to
dress like a little girl.
110
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:41,059
But I'm not a little girl.
I'm a princess!
111
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,769
Bryana, listen, Uncle Bernie
ain't got a lot of time.
112
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,360
Now, on Halloween, you can wear
anything you want to wear,
113
00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:48,906
but for the first day
of school,
114
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,469
you got to change.
115
00:04:50,549 --> 00:04:52,789
Now, will you do that
for Uncle Bernie?
116
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,238
-Okay.
-Good.
117
00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,199
-Uncle Bernie?
-Yes, sweetheart?
118
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:57,999
Will you do my hair?
119
00:04:58,073 --> 00:04:59,423
Oh, baby, Uncle Bernie
120
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,079
don't know how
to do your hair.
121
00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:02,789
Hold on.
122
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,129
Vanessa, come out here
and do baby girl's hair!
123
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,415
VANESSA:
She asked you. I heard it.
124
00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:10,089
(quietly)
Do it yourself. I ain't your damn slave.
125
00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:16,008
Please, Uncle Bernie? For me?
126
00:05:16,091 --> 00:05:17,311
All right, baby girl.
Come on.
127
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,434
I'll do the best I can.
128
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:22,095
Go ahead on.
Go on in there.
129
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:23,780
Little girl good.
130
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:28,946
Okay. Mm-hmm.
131
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,649
How you want
your hair, baby?
132
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,864
Pretty.
133
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,280
(mimicking)
Pretty.
134
00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:35,528
Okay.
135
00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:37,660
Okay,
let me see. Where am I?
136
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,207
Should I do
the back first?
137
00:05:39,289 --> 00:05:41,459
I'm going to do
the front and then work back.
138
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,867
Do I comb it front?
139
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:46,801
All right,
let's try that.
140
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:50,131
Let me see.
141
00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:50,968
(grunts)
142
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:51,881
Uncle Bernie?
143
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,340
I'm sorry, baby.
144
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,304
("I Wish" by Stevie
Wonder plays)
145
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,520
♪♪
146
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,352
♪ Looking back on when I ♪
147
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:07,365
♪ Was a little nappyheaded boy ♪
148
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,704
♪ When my only worry ♪
149
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,883
♪ Was for Christmas whatwould be my toy ♪
150
00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:22,755
♪ Even though we sometimes ♪
151
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,963
♪ Would not get a thing ♪
152
00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:29,554
♪ We were happy with thejoy the day would bring ♪
153
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,706
♪ Sneaking out theback door ♪
154
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,941
♪ To hang out with thosehoodlum friends of mine ♪
155
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,096
(glass breaking)
156
00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:39,222
Uh-oh.
157
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,519
You did it.
158
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:47,731
Oh, baby girl,
you know what?
159
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,227
I'm going to fix you up
real nice tomorrow.
160
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,861
We ain't got
a lot of time now.
161
00:06:52,937 --> 00:06:54,067
We got to go, okay?
162
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,447
-Okay.
-Good.
163
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:57,874
Uncle Bernie?
164
00:06:57,942 --> 00:06:59,082
Yes, baby?
165
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,252
I don't look like
a princess.
166
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,910
You do to me.
167
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,421
Always. Hear?
168
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:10,594
Oh, come here.
169
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:14,383
I know it looks raggedy,
but she's so cute.
170
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:16,179
She'll be able
to pull it off.
171
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,391
Plus, she's only
five years old.
172
00:07:18,463 --> 00:07:20,763
Who she got to impress?
173
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,730
I got one down and two to go.
174
00:07:24,802 --> 00:07:28,192
JORDAN:
Uncle Bernie, I can't go to school today!
175
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,478
I don't feel good!
176
00:07:30,558 --> 00:07:33,938
I'm not playing, Jordan!
177
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,540
I'm not.
178
00:07:42,237 --> 00:07:42,987
VANESSA:
Go away.
179
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,011
It's me.
180
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:50,256
I don't think I'm gonna go
to school today.
181
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,707
Why? You sick?
182
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:53,508
Nah, I just don't think
I'm going.
183
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:56,301
Why? So you can stay
home with Bernie Mac?
184
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,716
I'm going to school.
185
00:07:57,794 --> 00:08:00,684
Yeah, I think I'll start
with some wheezing.
186
00:08:00,755 --> 00:08:03,055
Then, I'll make myself throw up.
187
00:08:03,132 --> 00:08:06,432
Then, I'll just stay in bed
and watch TV all day.
188
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,845
(coughing)
189
00:08:07,929 --> 00:08:09,599
Maybe I'll eat
some of those cookies
190
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,355
Uncle Bernie hid from us.
191
00:08:11,432 --> 00:08:13,022
BERNIE:
Let's go! Let's go!
192
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,861
Come on, now!
Let's go!
193
00:08:14,936 --> 00:08:16,696
Well, good luck.
Here comes Bigfoot.
194
00:08:25,196 --> 00:08:27,036
Jordan.
195
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,035
Get out that doggone bed, man.
We got to go.
196
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,707
I'm sick today.
197
00:08:30,785 --> 00:08:31,955
I'm sick every day,
Jordan.
198
00:08:32,036 --> 00:08:33,546
Come on, get up.
We got to go, man.
199
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:35,451
Maybe we should both stay home
and get better.
200
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:37,843
-Maybe we should both go
to the movies, Jordan, huh? -Really?
201
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:41,047
Get out that doggone bed
and get up in there, boy!
202
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:43,099
-Get up!
-(whimpers)
203
00:08:43,181 --> 00:08:45,601
That boy ain't sick.
That boy's stupid.
204
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,015
He act like I ain't never tried
that trick.
205
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,144
If the boy was good,
he'd have the chicken pox.
206
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:53,691
Try to use emotion against me.
Ha! Ain't gonna work.
207
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:55,936
It's all about
discipline, baby.
208
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:59,109
Ha! And America, you can do it,
too, baby.
209
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,002
Yes, sir.
210
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,869
They gonna cry, they gonna
whine, they gonna beg,
211
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,292
try to make you feel guilty.
Don't go for it.
212
00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:07,001
You got to be strong.
213
00:09:07,071 --> 00:09:09,751
That's why that boy going
to Catholic school.
214
00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:12,924
I'm talking about discipline.
Mmm.
215
00:09:12,994 --> 00:09:14,644
(bell rings)
216
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,216
(with Irish accent)
You wouldn't believe
217
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,470
some of the malarkey
going around.
218
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:25,153
Some of the schools are peddling
this child-centric hooey.
219
00:09:25,223 --> 00:09:29,033
If you believe that I got a pot
of gold at the end of the rainbow for you.
220
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:32,152
What do you do to
encourage a child's self-expression?
221
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,401
Doing as you're told is
the only expression of the self
222
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,834
we're interested in.
223
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,329
Amen.
That's what I'm talking about.
224
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,913
We'll have none of that shouting
in here, if you please.
225
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,279
I'm sorry.
226
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:45,617
So, you guys... "teach"?
227
00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:46,773
Of course we teach.
228
00:09:46,845 --> 00:09:48,255
What the hell kind of question
is that?
229
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:52,047
I'm sorry, Your Discipline-ship.
I am so sorry. Continue.
230
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,751
Father Damien...
dedicated his life
231
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:59,548
to the lepers
on the island of Molokai.
232
00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:01,154
No one could
understand
233
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:04,715
why he would devote himself
to such horrible... wretched...
234
00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:07,106
filthy, withered creatures...
235
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,430
and I'd like to think
that here at Damien,
236
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,601
we follow his example.
237
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,980
Now, don't get me wrong.
238
00:10:15,056 --> 00:10:17,816
I'd never compare children
to lepers.
239
00:10:17,892 --> 00:10:19,702
Oh, no, I'd never do that.
240
00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,701
The lepers were grateful.
241
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,961
This guy kind
of scares me.
242
00:10:27,035 --> 00:10:28,155
I know.
243
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,906
Isn't he great?
244
00:10:30,988 --> 00:10:33,078
Jordan!
Get up, boy!
245
00:10:33,157 --> 00:10:34,577
I'm gonna count to three.
Get up!
246
00:10:34,659 --> 00:10:36,419
I don't feel good.
247
00:10:36,494 --> 00:10:38,094
Feel better. One...
248
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:40,002
(coughing)
But I'm wheezing.
249
00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:42,601
Wheeze your butt
to the bathroom, boy. Two...
250
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,966
I'm gonna throw up!
251
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,474
I'm about to throw down.
Three!
252
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,436
Get your butt on out
this doggone bed!
253
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,505
Get ready for school.
254
00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:50,470
Why you running, Jordan?
255
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,060
What you scared of, huh?
256
00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:55,556
Jordan... you don't have to
be afraid of Father Cronin.
257
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:56,848
Just do your work.
258
00:10:56,931 --> 00:11:00,271
No, I'm afraid of him.
259
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:01,281
Who?
260
00:11:04,188 --> 00:11:05,488
Jesus?
261
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,405
You don't got to
be afraid of Jesus.
262
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:08,913
He is a little scary.
263
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:10,695
Wanda, watch what you're saying
around the boy.
264
00:11:10,778 --> 00:11:11,738
Jesus ain't scary.
265
00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:12,883
You know what I mean.
266
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:15,246
Catholics like to show you
every detail.
267
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,458
Sometimes, they just keep it
a little too real for me.
268
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:20,216
No offense, Jesus.
269
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,295
I want him
to get a good education,
270
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:28,005
and God is important,
but... I'm not sure
271
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,257
we should be shoving religion
down his throat.
272
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:32,599
Wanda, can I get some support
around here, please?
273
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,225
I'm not shoving anything
down his throat.
274
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,602
Jordan, if I have to come
over there and shove it
275
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,809
down your throat,
brother, I will.
276
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,030
-Now, eat.
-(whimpering)
277
00:11:40,108 --> 00:11:41,958
(crying)
I don't want oatmeal!
278
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,895
I don't want you
fainting in school, man, because you didn't eat.
279
00:11:44,979 --> 00:11:47,739
-Now, you know you're
soft. Eat Jordan. -(wailing)
280
00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:49,735
-Uncle Bernie?
-Yes?
281
00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:51,367
I think Jordan's
gonna throw up.
282
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,874
Jordan, you better
not be trying to make yourself throw up.
283
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,286
I'm not kidding, now.
You can do it. Swallow.
284
00:11:56,365 --> 00:11:59,175
You're halfway there, Jordan.
Look at you. Swallow.
285
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,882
You're doing it!
Swallow. Swallow.
286
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,458
Swallow. Swallow.
287
00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:04,529
Swallow. Swallow.
288
00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:06,917
Son... you did it!
289
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:10,141
Now, that wasn't so
hard, was it, Jordan?
290
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,717
Here, wash it down
with some juice.
291
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:13,609
There you go, son.
292
00:12:13,683 --> 00:12:16,933
I'm proud of you.
Strong.
293
00:12:17,011 --> 00:12:19,441
You don't know
you got it. It's in you.
294
00:12:19,514 --> 00:12:20,914
I'm bringing it
out of you, son.
295
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,570
You can do anything
you want to do.
296
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,982
You know why?
'Cause you're a Mac.
297
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,945
Ha. Don't let nobody tell you
different--you're a Mac, boy.
298
00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:29,612
(chuckling)
Am I right, baby?
299
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:30,700
Ha.
300
00:12:30,775 --> 00:12:31,785
What?
301
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,410
(vomiting)
302
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,958
(gagging)
303
00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,963
-Uncle Bernie?
-Mm-hmm?
304
00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:42,465
Jordan's throwing up.
305
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:47,965
I ain't gonna make it.
306
00:12:48,042 --> 00:12:50,382
Y'all, I ain't gonna make it.
307
00:12:50,461 --> 00:12:53,931
Bernie Mac ain't never been late
a day in his life.
308
00:12:54,006 --> 00:13:00,196
This is my second...
second favorite silk shirt.
309
00:13:04,475 --> 00:13:06,405
I ain't gonna make it.
310
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,404
Didn't I tell youto put your clothes on, Jordan?
311
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:11,371
Come here.
312
00:13:11,449 --> 00:13:13,329
( "I Gotcha" playing)
313
00:13:13,409 --> 00:13:14,499
♪ Uh huh, huh ♪
314
00:13:14,577 --> 00:13:15,957
♪ You thought I didn'tsee ya now ♪
315
00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:18,407
♪ Didn't ya, uh huh, huh ♪
316
00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:19,869
♪ You tried to sneakby me now ♪
317
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:22,329
♪ Didn't ya, uh huh, huh ♪
318
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,790
♪ Now gimme whatyou promised me ♪
319
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,350
♪ Give it here come on ♪
320
00:13:26,798 --> 00:13:27,968
♪ Hey ♪
321
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,598
♪ Good God ♪
322
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,552
♪ Hey ♪
323
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:36,312
♪ You made me a promise ♪
324
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,902
♪ And you're gonnastick to it ♪
325
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,670
♪ You shouldn'thave promised ♪
326
00:13:41,746 --> 00:13:43,566
♪ If you weren't gonna do it ♪
327
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:48,953
♪ You saw me and ranin another direction ♪
328
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:54,118
♪ I'll teach you to playwith my affection ♪
329
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:57,946
♪ Now, give it here ♪
330
00:13:58,029 --> 00:13:59,039
♪ You never should'vepromised to me ♪
331
00:13:59,122 --> 00:13:59,832
♪ Give it here ♪
332
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,036
♪ Don't hold back ♪
333
00:14:01,115 --> 00:14:02,535
♪ Give it here ♪
334
00:14:02,617 --> 00:14:03,697
♪ Don't say nothin' ♪
335
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:04,176
♪ Just give it here ♪
336
00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:06,172
♪ Come on give it here ♪
337
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,665
♪ Give it here ♪
338
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:08,667
♪ Give it here ♪
339
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,672
♪ Give it here ♪
340
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,759
♪ Give it to me, now ♪
341
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:11,633
♪ Good God ♪
342
00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:12,509
♪ Hey ♪
343
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,845
♪ I gotcha ♪
344
00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:15,348
♪ Shouldn't made apromise to me ♪
345
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:16,550
♪ I gotcha ♪
346
00:14:16,631 --> 00:14:17,681
♪ You never should've
promised to me ♪
347
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:18,967
♪ I gotcha ♪
348
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,054
♪ Give it on, here ♪
349
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,476
♪ I gotcha ♪
350
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:22,692
♪ You thought you gotaway from me ♪
351
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,896
♪ Didn't ya ♪
352
00:14:23,971 --> 00:14:24,901
♪ I gotcha ♪
353
00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:26,612
♪ Ha ha ha ♪
354
00:14:26,682 --> 00:14:28,732
Yeah, gotcha!
355
00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:29,779
Two down.
356
00:14:29,852 --> 00:14:31,292
One to go.
357
00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:35,962
Let's go.
358
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:45,748
Ugh. I hate my hair.
359
00:14:45,826 --> 00:14:47,416
BERNIE:
Vanessa, we got very little time.
360
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,625
Whatever you doing,
you got to finish it.
361
00:14:49,705 --> 00:14:50,625
Come on out, baby.
362
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,086
You already
missed breakfast.
363
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,760
Good.
I ain't hungry.
364
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,094
Ain't playin', baby.
Let's go!
365
00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:59,190
(mimicking)
Ain't playin', baby. Let's go! Shut up.
366
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,683
What did you say in there?
367
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:03,179
Nothing!
368
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,600
(mimicking)
What did you say in there?
369
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,019
Keep on.
Keep on talking.
370
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:09,518
Maybe I should
shave it all off.
371
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,664
(sighs)
372
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:13,145
What does it matter, anyways?
373
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,319
Oh, what does it matter,
anyway?
374
00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,908
It's the teachers that are
getting tested nowadays.
375
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,954
I mean, you know,
it's freakin' upside-down.
376
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,102
So, are you saying
they don't care
377
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:23,660
if the kids
do their homework?
378
00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:25,669
No, I'm saying
that they don't bother to give it anymore.
379
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:28,221
I mean,
what's the point, right?
380
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,780
Look, uh...
381
00:15:29,854 --> 00:15:32,054
maybe I'm being
a little harsh here.
382
00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:34,563
There are many kids
that are doing very well
383
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,804
and many teachers
really care
384
00:15:36,877 --> 00:15:39,087
but, uh, for
the most part,
385
00:15:39,163 --> 00:15:41,683
everybody tries to not
be part of the problem. You know what I'm saying?
386
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:43,267
I hope that helps
with your research.
387
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:44,902
My research?
388
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:48,398
Yes. I was told that
you were doing research for a part in a movie.
389
00:15:48,472 --> 00:15:49,732
Aren't you famous?
390
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:50,691
(clears throat)
391
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,266
No--I mean, yes-
but we're here
392
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,901
to enroll our niece
in the school.
393
00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:56,738
Oh. Too late for
private school?
394
00:15:56,814 --> 00:15:58,994
No, actually,
she had three interviews
395
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:02,366
but none of them
responded to what she had to say.
396
00:16:02,445 --> 00:16:03,375
What'd she say?
397
00:16:05,406 --> 00:16:07,046
Oh.
398
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:10,255
-Welcome to Baja Vista.
-(bell rings)
399
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:16,086
Now, that wasn't so hard,
was it, baby girl?
400
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:18,091
Uncle Bernie said
do something and you did it.
401
00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:19,599
Let's try it again.
402
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,429
Now, grab your school bag
and let's hop in the car, honey.
403
00:16:22,506 --> 00:16:25,056
One, two--hey, that's all
you're taking to school?
404
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:26,434
Could it be that...?
405
00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:28,940
Lord...
406
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:31,807
I know
you're testing me, right?
407
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,941
You send the devil down here
to tempt me with evil thoughts.
408
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,780
Testing my faith.
409
00:16:37,855 --> 00:16:40,205
Thoughts of killing.
410
00:16:40,283 --> 00:16:41,873
I-I-I know it ain't right.
411
00:16:41,942 --> 00:16:43,582
I ain't letting go.
412
00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:45,292
I believe; I do believe.
413
00:16:45,362 --> 00:16:46,582
(gulps)
414
00:16:46,655 --> 00:16:49,365
Father...
415
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:52,460
you say
you'll never forsake me.
416
00:16:52,536 --> 00:16:54,126
Don't forsake me.
417
00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:56,135
Give me some peace.
418
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,934
Peace.
419
00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:03,393
You are not going to be
late for school, baby.
420
00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:05,644
Who cares? They don't
take attendance, anyway.
421
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,930
Girl, don't you care
about going school, Nessa?
422
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,520
What you going to be
without education?
423
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,975
Maybe I'll be a comedian,
like you.
424
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:16,151
Oh, you got it down pat.
You so smart.
425
00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:18,147
You know, you might
as well hold a class...
426
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,123
I can't do my hair!
427
00:17:23,234 --> 00:17:27,084
Look here, Nessa...
it's been a rough morning.
428
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:29,504
I lost two
of my favorite shirts.
429
00:17:29,573 --> 00:17:32,373
I been covered with hair grease
and vomit.
430
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,341
I got arthritis
in my hands, baby,
431
00:17:34,411 --> 00:17:37,131
from braiding all those
black Barbie dolls' hair.
432
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:39,666
I'm out of high blood pressure
medicine.
433
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,724
It has not been a good day.
434
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:45,554
Now, I know you want to look
good for the first day of school
435
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,811
and I understand that,
436
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:50,103
and I know you a teenager,
437
00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:54,187
and you're very sensitive
to teenage stuff...
438
00:17:54,265 --> 00:17:56,855
I understand that.
439
00:17:56,934 --> 00:18:00,074
But Nessa,
you got to understand this:
440
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,946
your Uncle Bernie loves you,
okay?
441
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:06,044
But we got to get moving.
442
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,664
Y'all didn't think I could be
the bigger man, did you?
443
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:14,039
(sniffles)
444
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,752
Nessa?
445
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:19,468
I guess I can live with this.
446
00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,097
Thank you.
447
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,722
See? Girl, I don't know
what you was worried about.
448
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:30,979
You look great.
Now, come on, we got to go.
449
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:34,101
You can finish doing your hair
in the car.
450
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,900
(frustrated sigh)
451
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,477
What?
452
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,278
What'd I say?
453
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,990
Black women, you need to get
less sensitive
454
00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:42,901
about your doggone hair.
455
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:45,280
You're too soft.
456
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,737
White women,
stop losing weight.
457
00:18:47,818 --> 00:18:49,738
Okay, how do you want it?
458
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:52,040
Pretty, like yours.
459
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:53,504
You think
my hair's pretty?
460
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:54,918
Yeah.
461
00:18:54,992 --> 00:18:56,262
Turn around.
462
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,134
I'm the beautiful
princess
463
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:04,836
and you're the
beautiful queen.
464
00:19:04,919 --> 00:19:06,569
Hey, you know what?
465
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,145
Why don't you go ahead
and put that princess costume back on.
466
00:19:09,223 --> 00:19:12,563
I can't.
Uncle Bernie won't let me.
467
00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:15,095
Well, I told Uncle Bernie
it's okay.
468
00:19:15,179 --> 00:19:17,099
Let's go! Let's go!
469
00:19:17,181 --> 00:19:18,201
We still can make it
on time, baby.
470
00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:20,574
Let's go!
30 seconds, in the car!
471
00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:22,143
Huh?
472
00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:23,909
Uncle Bernie, you're still
in your pajama bottoms.
473
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,318
Oh, my Lord, have mercy.
474
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:28,237
-(snickering)
-What you laughing at, son?
475
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,241
I can see your mule.
476
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,528
Jordan, get in the car.
477
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,453
One minute, one minute--
everybody in the car!
478
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:34,119
Told me he can still
see my mule.
479
00:19:34,198 --> 00:19:36,788
Damn Coke-bottle glasses.
Let's go!
480
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:38,707
VANESSA: Oh, Uncle Bernie,
I did Bryana's hair,
481
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:43,176
-and I dressed her.
-Nessa, thank you. Oh, no!!
482
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,010
All right, let's go,
Your Highness.
483
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,967
Let's go, sweetheart.
484
00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:51,187
Let your teacher
deal with it.
485
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:02,729
Okay, baby girl.
486
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,950
Oh. I can walk by myself.
487
00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:07,361
Hey, Nessa,
488
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,279
thank you for doing
baby girl's hair.
489
00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:11,788
-It looks nice.
-I know.
490
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:19,334
Hey!
491
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:20,830
Your hair looks nice, too.
492
00:20:20,911 --> 00:20:21,841
I'm late.
493
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:25,509
She just evil.
494
00:20:25,582 --> 00:20:27,602
All right, come on, my man.
495
00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:30,837
Aw, Jordan, man,
I know you're scared.
496
00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:32,811
Adjustment takes time.
497
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,555
Everybody's scared of school
at one time or another.
498
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,074
-Byron!
-Jordan!
499
00:20:37,144 --> 00:20:41,194
Byron?
Ain't that a...
500
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:43,855
That little faker!
501
00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:46,404
Taking me through all of this!
502
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,698
I'm going to say it again:
503
00:20:48,772 --> 00:20:50,072
Boarding school.
504
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,989
Send them away.
505
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,737
The further, the better.
506
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:58,159
Europe, Asia, Ethiopia,
Jerusalem, Germany--
507
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,210
Ah! It's the only way
you're going to get peace of mind, baby.
508
00:21:02,286 --> 00:21:04,966
Any other solution
sends you to prison.
509
00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:11,885
I just realized something.
510
00:21:11,962 --> 00:21:13,732
I got to do it again
tomorrow.
511
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:20,770
Give me some privacy.
512
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:23,806
(sniffling)
513
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,405
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
514
00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:32,450
White women,
stop losing weight!
515
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:34,164
I'm sick of it.
516
00:21:34,234 --> 00:21:35,874
Can't say nothing.
517
00:21:35,944 --> 00:21:37,844
Oh, fat people--
518
00:21:37,913 --> 00:21:39,963
Forget about it.
519
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:43,880
Wh--no.
520
00:21:43,952 --> 00:21:46,002
Midgets--
ain't gonna say nothing.
521
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,010
Probably think little
of me.
522
00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:52,682
Cut the camera off.
523
00:21:52,753 --> 00:21:55,723
Homosex--
no, move on.
524
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,072
Move on.
525
00:21:58,122 --> 00:22:02,672
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37078
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
