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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,169 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:13,845 Arliss: For most of us, 3 00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:16,183 the dream of becoming a champion 4 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:17,779 remains a fantasy. 5 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,992 But for a special few, 6 00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,064 it is very much a reality. 7 00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:24,462 We cheer them. 8 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,364 We live through them. 9 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,196 Athletes are our last warriors. 10 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,732 My job is to make their dreams come true. 11 00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:35,439 My name is Arliss Michaels. 12 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,772 I represent athletes. 13 00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:39,937 These are my stories. 14 00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:43,236 ♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪ 15 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:46,879 ♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪ 16 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:50,246 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 17 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:54,186 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 18 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:57,694 ♪ It happens to be true ♪ 19 00:00:57,757 --> 00:01:01,157 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 20 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,797 ♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪ 21 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,474 ♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪ 22 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:12,335 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 23 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,805 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 24 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:19,575 ♪ No matter what you do ♪ 25 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,176 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 26 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,850 Arliss: Sports fans tend to reduce their games and players 27 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,620 to statistics. 28 00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:31,788 This impulse reached its peak with the rise of a religion 29 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,788 known as "Rotisserie" or "Fantasy Baseball." 30 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,501 Welcome to the 12th Annual Den of Thieves 31 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,704 Fantasy League Draft. 32 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,796 I, uh, wanna welcome everyone back. 33 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:46,038 All of our aging, grizzled veterans, you know who you are. 34 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,675 Both in person and absentia. 35 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,081 Jonathan, are you there? 36 00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:52,393 Jonathan Silverman: Hey, everybody, sorry I can't be there, 37 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,162 but (laughing) hey-hey-hey, this is gonna be our year. 38 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,550 Fat chance! That "Weekend at Bernie" guy had more life 39 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,916 than your team. 40 00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,194 Thanks, Doc. How those Rogaine treatments workin' for ya? 41 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,923 (laughter) 42 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,358 And, welcoming our newest team... 43 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,364 (others heckling) Rookie, rookie, rookie... 44 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:11,527 All right, all right, all right, come on, wait a minute. 45 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:16,038 Now, as is our custom, we congratulate our defending champions, 46 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,712 Excuse me, two-time defending champion. 47 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:22,641 Two-time defending champion and, cosmetic surgeon to the stars, 48 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:27,709 I may add, Vic Freed, and his team, Silicone Valley. 49 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:30,820 - (others booing) - Three-peat this year, gentlemen, three-peat. 50 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,203 Freed, nice job with the Jacksons. 51 00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:34,521 What is that, one mask fits all? 52 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,487 (laughter) 53 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,986 Hey, Brandon, I, uh, I got a lead for ya. 54 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:42,158 They're lookin' for a new head of programming over at the Weather Channel. 55 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,858 (laughter) 56 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,130 Freed, you are so beneath contempt, 57 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,269 I am moving my seat closer to Shapiro. 58 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,004 Hey-hey-hey, that's collusion. Hey-hey, split 'em up, let's go. 59 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,370 Bernie: Before this gets ugly, let me... let me go through the rules. 60 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:59,180 You have $260 to bid on 23 major league baseball players. 61 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,445 Excuse me, I need a clarification. 62 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,654 Are we drafting from both the American League and the National League? 63 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,817 Others: No, no, no no no. 64 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:09,756 Bob, we draft only from the National League. 65 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:13,162 So if a player's real team trades him over to the American League, 66 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,836 it's like, you know, he's... he's dropped dead 67 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,431 as far as we're concerned. 68 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:19,626 Now, the team with the best combined player stats 69 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:23,499 at the end of the season wins the pot and the trophy. 70 00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:26,639 Here it sits... and here it's gonna stay. 71 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,806 (disapproving murmurs) 72 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,045 All right, all right, all right, no, hey, come on, hold it, hold it. 73 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,177 Right. Everybody understand? 74 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,176 Okay. You ready to start the auction now? 75 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:37,918 Arliss? Uh, once again we have your word that you won't 76 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,654 pump your contacts for inside information. 77 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,730 You know, every year we go through this. Do you honestly think 78 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:44,895 I would jeopardize my practice to win a "Rotisserie League"? 79 00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,234 Of course you have my word. 80 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,333 I'd say, look for big things from Eric Davis. 81 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,625 - Eric Davis? - Eric Davis. 82 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,737 Eric? The same Eric... the same Eric Davis? 83 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:53,004 Eric... Eric the Red. 84 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,076 Five dollars for Eric Davis! 85 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,840 Five dollars for Eric Davis? 86 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,342 He didn't even play last year. 87 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,483 - It's too much... - Bernie: Going once... 88 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,224 - Trust me! Trust me! - Bernie: going twice... sold! 89 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:02,139 To Frozen Ropes for five dollars. 90 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,938 All right, Pete Incaviglia. 91 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,150 Who wants the "Inky-Dinky" man? 92 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,152 Five dollars. 93 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,513 Too low, six bucks. 94 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,151 Seven. 95 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,126 I'm gonna go eight. I love Inky, I really want Inky. 96 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:13,861 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... - Eight bucks! 97 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:15,486 - Hey, how you doin'? - What's up, buddy? 98 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:16,785 What's up, man? How you doin'? 99 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,166 All right, brother, it's good to see you. 100 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:18,931 Stud. 101 00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:20,361 - Welcome back, bro. - All right. 102 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,256 You too, man. Good to see you, Inky. 103 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,658 - What about Inky? - Ah, forget him. 104 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,171 - No, don't. Pass. - Nine. 105 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,172 Too much. It's too much. 106 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,103 Bernie: Nine dollars once. 107 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:28,867 - I want... I want Inky. - Bernie: Twice? 108 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,235 Nine dollars. Once... going twice. 109 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,235 Sold! The Inky! 110 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:35,507 Silicone Valley. 111 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,435 Inky-Dinky-Do! 112 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:41,448 Eric Karros, uh... 13 bucks. 113 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,178 - Gary Sheffield. - Thirty bucks. 114 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:46,901 - (heavy sigh) - No, no, that's too high. Six. 115 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,949 Ken Caminiti. 116 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,860 Vince Coleman, one dollar. 117 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,462 Gary Coleman, two dollars. 118 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,664 - (laughter) - Uh, Pulsipher. Eleven. 119 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:54,786 Ah, it's too much! 120 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:55,861 Sold! 121 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,695 Arliss: Oh, Kirby! 122 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,404 It's good. 123 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,065 The man. Barry Bonds. 124 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,734 - Brandon: I gotta have him. - Seventeen. 125 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,839 - Twenty dollars. - Jonathan Silverman: Twenty-five. 126 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,444 Third baseman, Matt Williams. 127 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,336 Piazza. 128 00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:08,666 Nomo... 129 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,781 Hey, Brandon... did they have fantasy baseball when I was playing? 130 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:14,354 Absolutely. In fact, you were my very first pick. 131 00:05:14,413 --> 00:05:15,623 I got you for three bucks. 132 00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,451 That was a steal. 133 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,987 Actually, I overpaid. You sucked that year. 134 00:05:21,053 --> 00:05:22,523 Bernie: Okay, Jeff Bagwell. 135 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:23,958 - Fifteen. - Sixteen. 136 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,073 Jonathan Silverman: Double deuces. 137 00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:25,761 Twenty-three. 138 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:26,955 Twenty-eight. 139 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,026 Thirty-five, that's it. 140 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:29,634 Thirty-five? Is that it? 141 00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:31,095 Yours. 142 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,274 Jeff Bagwell. Sold to the Single Guy for 35. 143 00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,872 Ha-ho, baby, we got the Bag! 144 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:40,405 All right, next, uh... Ned Bastille, pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies. 145 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,343 Twenty dollars. 146 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:42,307 Twenty-five. 147 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,975 Forget it. Ned Bastille's a Frozen Rope. 148 00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,154 Twenty-six. 149 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:47,852 Must be a client. Thirty. 150 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,554 Thirty-one. 151 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,375 Thirty-two. 152 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:52,850 Thirty-three. 153 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,359 Arliss and Freed are like... Ali and Frazier. 154 00:05:56,422 --> 00:06:00,792 Every year Arliss buys Bastille and every year Freed makes him overpay. 155 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,790 Thirty-six. 156 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:02,631 Thirty-eight. 157 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,995 Don't... 40 dollars. 158 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,773 Bernie: Forty dollars going once... 159 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,972 twice... sold! To Frozen Ropes. 160 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,865 Ned Bastille for 40 dollars. 161 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,607 You bid too much! 162 00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,752 That makes Bastille the highest pitcher in baseball? Forget it. 163 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,344 Higher than Maddux? 164 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,539 He's worth it. And, he's an AMM client. 165 00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,551 They always get the highest prices! 166 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,783 (skeptical murmurs) 167 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,989 All right, all right, all right, come on, wait a minute. 168 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:27,087 Arliss: Grown men and women invest enormous amounts 169 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:30,293 of time and energy in fantasy baseball. 170 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:33,086 Some claim it's a perfect simulation of reality. 171 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:36,929 But in fact, it's mere child's play compared to flesh and blood players, 172 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,296 and their very real lives. 173 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,995 Hi, I'm Marcie Bastille, 174 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,967 chairperson of Bastille's Buddies. 175 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:45,805 And I'm Ned Bastille. I pitch for Philadelphia. 176 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,742 And I'm Ed Rendell, the mayor of Philadelphia, 177 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,477 and this is our city. 178 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,312 I grew up right here in Philadelphia. 179 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,507 Played in this park as a kid. 180 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,149 Join the Bastille Buddies, and help keep this park clean. 181 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,675 And our streets safe. Right, guys? 182 00:06:58,751 --> 00:06:59,751 All: Right! 183 00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:04,055 And cut! Perfect! I love it, let's do it again. 184 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,493 See, you talk about your role models, Ned Bastille, 185 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,899 more popular in Philadelphia than cheesesteak. 186 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:11,501 And you know Philly fans, they boo funerals and Santa Claus. 187 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:12,674 (chuckles) 188 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:18,201 We're gonna get together in a few weeks and talk about an extension. 189 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,311 We want Ned Bastille to start and finish his career right here in Philadelphia. 190 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,035 Great. Let me help you get started. Four years, $20 million. 191 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,551 Four years? He'll be 38 in four years. 192 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,853 Thirty-eight? Wow! 193 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,187 I had no idea he was gonna be 38! 194 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:34,952 Take him out behind the barn and shoot him! 195 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,021 Break open his leg, count the rings! 196 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,359 Fine. You don't wanna sign him, 197 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,944 he plays on his option, becomes a free agent. 198 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,129 There are plenty of other teams who would love to sign a 200-game winner 199 00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,455 to a four-year deal. 200 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:48,531 Arliss, you know that we don't sign pitchers to long-term deals. 201 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,081 Mr. Mayor, do you know the general manager of your baseball team 202 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,707 is balking at signing Ned Bastille 203 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,312 to a contract extension? 204 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,183 Whoa, be careful, Tom. 205 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,952 You know, it's been a tough enough year already. 206 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,517 You don't wanna be known as the guy who let the Liberty Bell get away. 207 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:03,276 (chuckles) Don't worry. We'll make it work! 208 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,949 Great! Great, great. 209 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,317 - Pretzel? - No, I don't touch the stuff. 210 00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,956 Arliss: In this day and age, few of the immortals 211 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,492 finish their career with the dignity they deserve. 212 00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:15,428 In the bosom of the city that nurtured them. 213 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,764 Talk about players that are associated with teams, 214 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,770 there are very few that are associated. 215 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,372 There's Cal Ripken. There's Junior Griffey, 216 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,735 and Philadelphia's N... Ned Bastille, I mean, there's... 217 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,042 Maybe they don't want me anymore. 218 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:32,348 Maybe I'm a fool for wantin' to finish my career in Philadelphia. 219 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,851 Of course they want you. 220 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,324 The question is, for how long? 221 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:39,823 I've got at least four more good years in this arm. 222 00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:42,015 Hey, forget about this. Let me handle that. 223 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,288 You concentrate on winning the pennant. 224 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,287 Excuse me, Arliss, he plays for Philadelphia. 225 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,760 Ahh. Look. The pressure is all on them. 226 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,600 If they don't sign you to a new contract before the season's over, 227 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,126 you become a free agent. 228 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,241 - Free agent? - Marce and I talked about it, Arliss. 229 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,474 We don't wanna go the free agent route. 230 00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:03,809 We love it here. We have friends here in Philadelphia. 231 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,776 We just finished building our dream house here, 232 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,155 and we wanna raise our family here. 233 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,249 And you will raise your family here. 234 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,515 You know it and I know it. 235 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,983 But I don't want them to know it! 236 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,951 Look, l... let me handle this. I promise you, 237 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,720 within six months, you will be, 238 00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,488 pardon the expression, farting through silk. 239 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:21,127 Yeah, but where will I be fartin' through silk? 240 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:23,303 Where else? The bedroom. 241 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,732 (laughing) 242 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,598 Trust me. I'll make it work. 243 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:32,535 Arliss: As an agent, I dedicate myself 24 hours a day 244 00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:36,435 to looking after only my clients' best interests. 245 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:41,109 I constantly ask myself the question, how am I doing? 246 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,380 Son of a bitch! 247 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:43,818 Ew, what? 248 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:46,423 My team, the Frozen Ropes, are in fifth place, 249 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:49,285 and that damn Freed is in third, it gets me right here! 250 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,495 You know, at the beginning it was kinda cute, you know, 251 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:55,834 this fantasy baseball, like little kids trading baseball cards. 252 00:09:55,895 --> 00:10:00,265 But now it's, uh, reams of statistics clogging up the fax machines, 253 00:10:00,332 --> 00:10:03,242 uh, Kirby on the phone, uh, making trades... 254 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:05,642 Whoa-whoa-whoa, Kirby's making trades? 255 00:10:05,704 --> 00:10:08,814 All day. And then, uh, there's messages, from, uh, 256 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,814 your flatliner roto friends, what is this? 257 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,806 Tartikoff, Shapiro... 258 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,218 Kirby: Look, you need speed, we need power. 259 00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:16,476 How about DeShields and Finley for Bagwell? 260 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,949 - I'm not stoned. - Who you on with? 261 00:10:17,983 --> 00:10:20,703 - The Single Guy. - You're not supposed to make any trades without me. 262 00:10:20,719 --> 00:10:22,149 - What are they offering? - Bagwell. 263 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,161 (whispering) Bagwell? Go-go-go-go-go. 264 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,662 Look, you still there? 265 00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:27,463 Yes, I'm still here. So's Jeff Bagwell. 266 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,686 What's he want? 267 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,111 - Um... - Waiting for you on set, Jonathan. 268 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,239 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a minute. 269 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:34,473 Look, Bagwell is the best hitter in the National League. 270 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:38,603 You want him? I want Finley, DeShields... two pitchers. 271 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,141 He wants two more pitchers! 272 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:44,206 Fine, give him those two Mets stiffs you hyped me on, uh, Pulsipher and Wilson. 273 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:47,346 - No! - Yes! Between 'em they got one win! 274 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:50,083 Uh, well, we'll throw in Pulsipher. 275 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,489 (laughs) Pulsipher? That stiff? 276 00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,691 -And Wilson! And Wilson! -And Wilson! 277 00:10:54,753 --> 00:10:55,993 Jonathan, we gotta go. 278 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,555 Hey-hey-hey, I am making a trade here! 279 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,864 All right. All right. So what do we got? 280 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:05,756 We got... Yeah-yeah. We got, uh, uh, Finley, DeShields, Pulsipher, 281 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,701 - and Wilson... - Yeah. 282 00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,166 For Bagwell. Deal? 283 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,965 Deal! Okay! Great! 284 00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:12,566 Yeah! We got Bagwell! 285 00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:15,008 - We got Bagwell! - We got Bagwell! 286 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,014 (Kirby laughs) G'bye! 287 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,076 - We got Bagwell! - Bagwell! 288 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,785 - We got Bagwell! - Really good, I mean, we're gonna need more power 289 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,253 if we're gonna beat Freed's team. 290 00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:24,434 Hey, I don't think Freed has enough pitching this year, I really don't. 291 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,190 - He's got no pitching! - None. 292 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,292 I just got off the phone with Ken Caminiti's wife. 293 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,964 Ken just cut his finger slicing tomatoes. 294 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,362 He's gonna be out for two weeks. 295 00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:32,963 All right! 296 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,685 Uh, excuse me... we represent Ken. 297 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,731 Yeah? Well, he's on Freed's fantasy team. 298 00:11:37,796 --> 00:11:38,796 - That's right! - Yes! 299 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:39,534 That's right! That's right! 300 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:41,328 Enough fantasy! 301 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,540 Oh, and, uh, these came in from Tom Gale's office, 302 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,773 he wants to talk to you about Ned Bastille's contract. 303 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:50,409 Oh, you remember him, uh, he pitches for a real baseball team. 304 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:54,106 Yes, we remember Ned Bastille, he's a Frozen Rope! 305 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,920 What is this? Gale's not moving on this Bastille thing at all. 306 00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:59,222 Rita, have the Gulfstream fueled, I'm gonna fly to Philly 307 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,085 and talk to Fregosi personally. 308 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,285 Both: Bagwell! 309 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:09,663 Arliss: While negotiating, it's important 310 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,458 to respect boundaries. 311 00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:14,800 To an agent, the playing field is strictly off limits. 312 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,567 Well, you know I want Ned. 313 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,165 He's a key guy on my pitching staff. 314 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,578 He means everything, he's the guy that gives me the innings I need 315 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,411 to be successful throughout a season. 316 00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:27,746 - Absolutely. - But the problem with the game today... 317 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:30,183 is that agents are trying to run the game. 318 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,719 Now, Ned... is a great pitcher. 319 00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,616 He wants to be a Phillie. 320 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,998 That's the thing that we gotta talk about. 321 00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:38,562 We gotta be able to work somethin' out. 322 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,664 I agree. He doesn't wanna leave. 323 00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:42,596 He wants to stay. He's got a home here. He's got roots here. 324 00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,658 We all wanna stay here. 325 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:46,699 If it was up to me, I'd give him a long-term contract. 326 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,365 But that job is not up to me. 327 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,074 -Talk to Gale. Talk to... -I have talked to him. 328 00:12:51,136 --> 00:12:52,666 Talk to Gale. 329 00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,238 Arliss, Fregosi tore me a new asshole 330 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,877 when he heard about the prospect of losing Bastille. 331 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,053 So, extend his contract four years. 332 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,652 Look, our last few long-term deals didn't turn out so hot. 333 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:04,876 We just don't have the budget 334 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,190 to do more than one year, with an option. 335 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,523 This is absurd! You know he can get a better deal 336 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,459 from any team in the league! 337 00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:13,794 Okay, fine. 338 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:18,259 I guess Ned's just gonna have to walk away at the end of the year. 339 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:21,300 Actually, we were thinkin' it might serve all of our interests 340 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,567 to let him walk away sooner. 341 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,236 Huh? 342 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:29,144 Any chance Ned might be willing to waive his no-trade clause? 343 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,508 I'm sorry? 344 00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:31,836 Waive it. 345 00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:34,680 Waive his no-trade clause? 346 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,517 You're asking Ned Bastille to just walk away from Philadelphia? 347 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:39,394 Shame on you! 348 00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:40,691 Shame! 349 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,593 What do you think? 350 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,024 And don't mention trade again, Arliss! 351 00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,059 It's banned from the language! 352 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,855 I can't believe they wanna trade me! 353 00:13:47,926 --> 00:13:49,396 Well, they don't want to trade you. 354 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:52,171 It's just that they figure, if you're gonna walk away at the end of the year, 355 00:13:52,197 --> 00:13:53,577 they'd like to get something for you now. 356 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,569 Oh, so I become a rent-a-player? 357 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:56,944 Y... 358 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,042 I say we stay here. This is where we live. 359 00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,074 What's an extra million dollars? 360 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,250 (chuckles) Well, it's not just another million dollars. 361 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,635 It's another 15 to 20 million dollars. 362 00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:08,211 Besides, I think this whole thing can work to our benefit. 363 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,520 How could it work to our benefit? 364 00:14:10,582 --> 00:14:12,282 Because we hold all the cards. 365 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:16,121 I can engineer a move to a contender like Atlanta, or Los Angeles. 366 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,818 And why would we wanna do that? 367 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:21,330 Because this might be his last chance to win and he knows it. 368 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,763 In a day I can have you goin' from a team that's 15 back 369 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,859 to one that's five in front. 370 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:29,541 You'll be able to pitch a game this year in September that means something. 371 00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:31,641 A pennant race. 372 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,174 Do you remember what that felt like in '93? 373 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,310 We were so close. 374 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,036 Goddamn Joe Carter. 375 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:41,081 And I know you, Ned. 376 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,016 And I know that fire still burns in your belly. 377 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,552 Oh, man, it rages. 378 00:14:45,617 --> 00:14:46,987 Fine! Go ahead. 379 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,502 But if you go, I'm not moving with you. 380 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,120 Eh... Honey! 381 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:53,389 Look, I love this town every bit as much as you do. 382 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,199 But I wanna win a World Series. 383 00:14:56,261 --> 00:14:57,661 I'm a ballplayer. 384 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,130 That's what I do. 385 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:03,299 Winning means more to me than anything else in the world. 386 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,436 Except you. 387 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:11,876 If you say no-go... (sighs) then it's no-go. 388 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,817 Okay. 389 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:19,792 Waive your no-trade clause. 390 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,752 But only if it's a contender. 391 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,460 Trust me. I'll make this work. 392 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:27,763 Look Pedro Astacio for Inky's a good deal. 393 00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:28,856 No, I'm not stoned. 394 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:30,327 (whispers) Who you talkin' to? 395 00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,656 Uh, one of the other teams, um, I just... 396 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,801 Freed! Give me that! 397 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,367 Freed, what are you tryin' to pull? 398 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,805 Hey-hey. I thought you needed a little pop, so sue me. 399 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,412 I need a little pitchin', 400 00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,743 and when you're the two-time defendin' champion, 401 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:45,679 nobody wants to talk to you. 402 00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:48,064 No, when you're a prick with ears, no one wants to talk with you. 403 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,120 Anyway, you got nothin' we want. 404 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:52,178 Oh, really? How about the Den of Thieves trophy? 405 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,991 Silicone Valley, baby! 406 00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:55,652 Three-peat! 407 00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,457 What are you, nuts? Makin' a trade with Freed. 408 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,056 You know he's gonna fuck us! 409 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,157 Well, we gotta make a move. We'd be in first instead of Freed if we had Inky. 410 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:07,300 I mean, we need another power hitter, Arliss. 411 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:10,366 Okay, trade for Carreon, he won't cost much. 412 00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,476 He just got traded to the American League. He's dead. 413 00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,424 Look, Kirby, I know what happens when you get this way. 414 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,250 You wanna make a trade just for the sake of makin' a trade. 415 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:19,275 But remember, no deals unless you consult with me first, understand? 416 00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:21,184 Hey, you guys play fantasy baseball, huh? 417 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:22,976 - Yeah. - Yeah. How'd you know? 418 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,648 Hunch. Hey, I got a tip for ya. 419 00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:26,646 - What? - Get a fuckin' life. 420 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,630 Do you think the team could use Ned Bastille? 421 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,296 Ned Bastille, let me tell you somethin' about Ned Bastille. 422 00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:42,165 This guy's got a lotta talent. 423 00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:43,584 Now, I know the Dodgers are talkin' with him, 424 00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:44,952 - but I mean, it's like... - You can't let the Dodgers have him, 425 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,620 we're fightin' with them for the League ERA crown. We gotta have him. 426 00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:49,039 This guy's awesome. 427 00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:52,277 I think he'd fit in real well with Maddux, Glavine, Smoltz and Avery. 428 00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:56,179 N... no, John, John, it's a no-brainer. 429 00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:58,818 You've got a super-station to program in Atlanta. 430 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,994 So what does all programming need? 431 00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,963 Stars! Well, Ned Bastille is the biggest star out there! 432 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:06,562 So bring me an offer that I can take to Gale! 433 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:10,495 When I draft Gary Sheffield, I expect you to hit 30 homers 434 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,462 and steal 30 bases! 435 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,771 I mean, Jesus, my cleaning lady steals more than you do. 436 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,674 Look, I gotta face Nomo tonight. 437 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:20,306 Last thing I wanna talk about is some candy-ass kid game. 438 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,172 Why don't you go play Battleship or something? 439 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,241 Okay? 440 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,484 Fred, the Lakers just signed Shaq. 441 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,250 You've got to compete for the entertainment dollar in Los Angeles. 442 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,899 Now your pitchers are runnin' out of nationalities 443 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,421 and I'm running out of time. 444 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:39,489 So bring me an offer I can take to Gale. 445 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:45,863 Hey, Kirby, what's up? 446 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,771 Nothin' that you leavin' won't help. 447 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,744 Arliss around? 448 00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:52,802 No. 449 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,751 I saw the stats. You guys moved ahead of me into first. 450 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,483 Gotta hand it to you. 451 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,712 Yeah, we're comin' down to the wire. 452 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:02,247 Mm. But you know, you are the brains of the team. 453 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:04,484 You're the one that wanted Inky. I remember that. 454 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,590 You're the one, you said, "Arliss, I gotta have him." 455 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,552 But he wouldn't listen. 456 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,890 - Not one of his strong points. - No. 457 00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,826 You know, if we had more power, we'd be runnin' away with this thing. 458 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,762 Couldn't agree with you more. 459 00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,102 You know... 460 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:21,702 maybe I can help. 461 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,043 Look, Arliss, I'm not givin' away Ned Bastille for nothin'. 462 00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,605 L.A. is offering Billy Ashley and Mike Bush. 463 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,635 I'd rather have Eric Karros. 464 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,990 I'd rather have 48 hours in a hotel room with Ellen Barkin, 465 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,356 but that's not gonna happen, either. 466 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,320 Hold. 467 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,422 Marcie, it looks like I'll have something worked out 468 00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:40,994 by the time the team arrives in L.A. 469 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,353 You flyin' out to meet Ned? 470 00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,761 Yes! I'm starting to get excited. 471 00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:46,463 Rita found us a house in the Palisades. 472 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,355 It's got hardwood floors and a sub-zero. 473 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,657 Granite counters? 474 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,498 You bet. It's got it all. 475 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,463 Great, can't wait to see you. 476 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:53,431 Okay, bye. 477 00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:54,328 Bye. 478 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,699 Now what? 479 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,997 Pittsburgh is offering Al Martin and Orlando Merced. 480 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,741 I don't give a fuck if they're offering 481 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,736 Willie Stargel and Roberto Clemente! 482 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,278 He ain't goin' to Pittsburgh! 483 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,113 Hold! 484 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:10,318 Ned? It looks like Los Angle-eeeez! 485 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:11,782 Shit! 486 00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,490 I can't get through. 487 00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:18,223 Aw, too bad Arliss won't let you make a trade on your own. 488 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,790 It's team policy, you know? We're equal partners. 489 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:25,460 Well, sure you are. That's why it says Kirby Carlisle Management 490 00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:27,200 on the door. 491 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,800 Go ahead, Kirby. Pull the trigger. 492 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,883 Cincinnati! 493 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,645 When did they move to the coast? 494 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:46,123 Look, Gail, it's L.A. or no way! 495 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:49,324 (singing) I got the power! I got the power! 496 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,688 De-duh-de-duh de-de duh-de. I got the power! 497 00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,257 Boom-boom-boom! 498 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,325 (quietly) Look-look-look. Come here. Come here. 499 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,104 Are. You. Stoned? 500 00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:01,333 I did it! I got the missing piece to the puzzle! 501 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,430 Yes! 502 00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:03,741 What puzzle? 503 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,642 The Frozen Rope puzzle! 504 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,914 - (phone rings) - Now we're gonna run away with the title. 505 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,394 What'd you find out? What'd you find... what'd you learn? 506 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,489 What's the info? Give! Give me the skinny! 507 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,690 -(singing) I got the power! -Give me the skinny! 508 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:13,711 I got the power! 509 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:14,909 All right, give it! 510 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,480 Arliss, Arliss. 511 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,018 The LAPD's on line one. They say it's an emergency. 512 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:22,554 Okay, uh, better find out where Bob Shapiro is, just in case. 513 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:25,990 Arliss Michaels here. 514 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,028 Yes, Arliss Michaels... 515 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:31,263 this is Lt. Freed of the Fantasy League Patrol. 516 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,400 Freed. 517 00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,065 Major wanker. 518 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,443 Major wanker! 519 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:37,771 Fuck him. 520 00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:41,206 You are such an asshole. Why would you do something like that? 521 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,543 'Cause I knew it'd get your attention. 522 00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:47,848 'Cause what I'm about to tell ya... is gonna blow your mind. 523 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,153 (laughs) 524 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,800 So... 525 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:10,396 you traded Ned Bastille. 526 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:14,169 The Den of Thieves trophy is ours! 527 00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:16,509 (laughs) 528 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:20,405 You traded Ned Bastille. 529 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:21,379 I got Inky. 530 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:25,016 You know, four home runs, 12 RBI's last week. 531 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,723 Player of the week! 532 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:29,615 You traded Bastille! 533 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,158 (glass breaking) 534 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:38,534 Come here! Get over here! 535 00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:41,197 Don't you run away! I'm gonna kill you! 536 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:42,166 Calm down! 537 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,204 Calm down? Calm down? He traded Ned Bastille! 538 00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,339 He traded Ned Bastille without my permission! 539 00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:47,944 I thought Ned wanted to stay in Philly. 540 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,876 Not the real Ned Bastille, the Frozen Ropes Ned Bastille! 541 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:52,442 It's a good trade! 542 00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:54,081 - Oh! - Inky's on a tear! 543 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,406 This meltdown has to do with fantasy baseball? 544 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:57,321 Arliss/Kirby: Yeah! 545 00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,632 Oh, go ahead and beat your brains out. 546 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,150 Oh, you know, we need Inky's offense to win this league! 547 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:02,589 League? There is no league. 548 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,304 You just gave him the best pitcher in the league! 549 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,492 Freed's gonna win because you gave him Ned Bastille 550 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,629 without my permission! 551 00:22:10,695 --> 00:22:12,505 You know, you treat me like I'm your fuckin' little brother! 552 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:14,671 Like I gotta ask your permission to take a piss! 553 00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:16,413 Well, if you didn't ask my permission to take a piss, 554 00:22:16,434 --> 00:22:18,244 (sing-song) you'd probably piss in your pants! 555 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:21,341 Jesus, Arliss! That blow was so low, 556 00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,306 it'd start a riot in the Garden. 557 00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,414 Now listen, you are jeopardizing a friendship 558 00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:27,206 over a game. Excuse me, a game about a game. 559 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,584 (exhales) 560 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:32,419 Give me the bat. 561 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:33,554 Gently. 562 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:46,929 Okay, maybe I did overreact. 563 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,944 I swear to God I tried to reach you. 564 00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:54,843 Oh, Ned Bastille was our ace. 565 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:56,676 That's why we paid so much money for him. 566 00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:57,881 You never trade an ace! 567 00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,413 And now he's Freed's ace! 568 00:23:00,478 --> 00:23:03,378 (sighs) We're dead. 569 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:04,718 I'm sorry. 570 00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:07,193 On top of which, he's now being traded from a last-place team 571 00:23:07,252 --> 00:23:08,452 to a contender. 572 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,620 Bastille's being traded? 573 00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:11,819 To who? 574 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,698 We draft only from the National League, 575 00:23:18,763 --> 00:23:21,773 so if a players' real team trades him over to the American League, 576 00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:24,243 it's like, you know, he's... he's dropped dead. 577 00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:26,182 (echoing) Dropped dead. Dropped dead. Dropped dead. 578 00:23:26,204 --> 00:23:28,274 Boss, where's Bastille goin'? 579 00:23:31,776 --> 00:23:33,246 Milwaukee? 580 00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:34,381 Yeah. 581 00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:36,476 There is no way I am going to live in Milwaukee. 582 00:23:36,548 --> 00:23:38,318 How did Milwaukee enter into this? 583 00:23:38,383 --> 00:23:41,023 Bud Selig calls me out of the blue, 584 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:46,186 and he's offering a guaranteed $18 million 585 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:49,388 four-year deal! 586 00:23:49,461 --> 00:23:51,501 You never said anything about the American League? 587 00:23:51,563 --> 00:23:53,373 And what about the Dodgers? 588 00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:57,041 Oh, sure, you can be a rent-a-player here, 589 00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,612 but, I've been thinking about what Marcie said about living in a big city 590 00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,822 with small-town values, and I gotta tell ya right away, 591 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,681 that puts the kibosh on L.A. I mean, this place is immoral, uh, it's Sin City. 592 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:09,205 Yeah, but... you live here. 593 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,551 Look at this... fresh Milwaukee beer. 594 00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,747 Frothy. Try some. 595 00:24:14,819 --> 00:24:16,489 Whatever happened to Atlanta? 596 00:24:16,554 --> 00:24:18,164 (chuckles) Like they need pitching. 597 00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:21,533 Milwaukee? Philadelphia has a better chance of winning the Series 598 00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:22,793 than... than Milwaukee. 599 00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,661 Yeah, Arliss. Remember that whole speech 600 00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:26,499 about goin' to a winner? 601 00:24:26,564 --> 00:24:29,334 Trust me. The people in Milwaukee are committed! 602 00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:32,541 You sign, they'll declare Bastille Day! 603 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:34,044 Two, please. 604 00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:37,614 Bratwurst. 605 00:24:38,743 --> 00:24:40,353 Milwaukee's finest. 606 00:24:40,412 --> 00:24:42,582 - Try some! - Okay, that's it! 607 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:46,987 Stop. Now I would've never agreed on waiving your no-trade clause 608 00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:48,992 if I knew it'd mean going to Milwaukee. 609 00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:51,164 Well, you should at least think about it. 610 00:24:51,222 --> 00:24:53,062 There's nothing to think about. 611 00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:56,134 Sure there is. We're talking about a four-year deal. 612 00:24:56,194 --> 00:24:58,774 You never know what's gonna happen, his arm could blow out tomorrow. 613 00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:00,967 It's security, it's guaranteed. 614 00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:03,342 (screaming) It's Milwaukee! 615 00:25:03,401 --> 00:25:07,771 Arliss? You talked us into moving out here to Los Angeles, 616 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:11,139 and now we're here. And nothing on God's green earth 617 00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:13,549 is going to make us move again. Nothing! 618 00:25:13,611 --> 00:25:15,851 (rumbling noise) 619 00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:17,224 What the hell is that? 620 00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,589 (screaming) Arliss, Arliss! 621 00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,785 (screaming) 622 00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,187 Arliss! 623 00:25:27,258 --> 00:25:28,458 (crying) 624 00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:33,566 (alarm blaring) 625 00:25:39,537 --> 00:25:41,407 Is it over? 626 00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:43,173 You all right, baby? 627 00:25:43,241 --> 00:25:46,481 My god... that was an earthquake. 628 00:25:46,544 --> 00:25:48,354 Oh, no-no, that was an aftershock. 629 00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:50,753 Earthquake? That's a whole other matter! 630 00:25:50,815 --> 00:25:51,875 (chuckles) 631 00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:53,820 Right, Kirby? 632 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:59,855 Oh... oh, you gotta see one of them babies, it's... boom! (chuckles) 633 00:25:59,924 --> 00:26:03,604 Here we go. A little pound here, a little tap there, 634 00:26:03,661 --> 00:26:07,131 your nose'll be saying, "Goodbye, Streisand, hello, Winona." 635 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,170 Radio announcer: And in sports, the Phillies send Cy Young winner 636 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,837 Ned Bastille to the Milwaukee Brewers. 637 00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:16,836 (screams) Whaaaat! 638 00:26:16,908 --> 00:26:20,648 Arliss/Kirby: Frozen Ropes! Ropes! Ropes! Ropes! 639 00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:22,212 Ropes, Ropes, Ropes! 640 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:29,347 Arliss: My clients know that they can always trust me to do 641 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,261 whatever is best for them. 642 00:26:31,322 --> 00:26:34,462 My own personal gain is irrelevant. 643 00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:37,756 The client's best interest is paramount. 644 00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:40,669 It's knowing that you've done everything in your power 645 00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:42,532 to make this moment happen. 646 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:47,170 Ahh, that then, is the sweetest victory of all. 647 00:26:47,238 --> 00:26:50,408 (rock music playing) 648 00:26:50,475 --> 00:26:52,835 My name is Arliss Michaels. 649 00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:56,651 I represent athletes. These are my stories. 650 00:26:56,714 --> 00:26:59,924 (rock music continues) 651 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:06,829 ♪ Oh ♪ 652 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:08,261 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 653 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,101 ♪ Tonight I'm dancin' ♪ 654 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,670 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 655 00:27:18,736 --> 00:27:20,706 ♪ Tonight I'm dancin' ♪ 656 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:25,642 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 657 00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:27,750 ♪ This is my song tonight ♪ 658 00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:32,617 ♪ This is my song tonight ♪ 659 00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:33,854 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 660 00:27:33,918 --> 00:27:35,988 ♪ This is my song tonight ♪ 661 00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:41,486 ♪ This is my song tonight ♪ 662 00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:42,689 ♪ Ohh ♪ 663 00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:48,570 ♪ 664 00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:52,739 ♪ Oh ♪ 665 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:04,819 ♪ 666 00:28:16,494 --> 00:28:18,264 ♪ Ohh ♪ 667 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,301 ♪ Tonight I'm dancin' ♪ 668 00:28:22,351 --> 00:28:26,901 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50774

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