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- [morose string music]
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00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,760
[narrator] Its day 229 and were still
lost at sea.
3
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,800
Another wretched day where the sun
cruelly keeps its promise
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00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,160
to glare down on
us once more.
5
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:18,520
[morose string music continues]
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00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,520
Is this all there is? The Zen of pain?
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00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,360
Time measured in the lengthening
shadows of our failing bodies
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00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,760
upon
the taunting water?
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00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,240
[water lapping]
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00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,320
[narrator] We spend the days
wondering in synchronised silence.
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00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,360
How did it come to this?
12
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,080
Eking out the last of the spoiled fish.
13
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Will we ever see land?
14
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Should we yield to the desire to eat
the flakes of skin tearing off the soles
15
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,240
of our blistering feet and shoulders?
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00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,720
Also...
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00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,040
[sinister sounds]
18
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,240
Why are they making a Matrix 4?
19
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,960
The original movie was such a gnostic
masterpiece
20
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,480
of which the sequels were but
a poor imitation.
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An attempt to capture
lightning in a bottle twice.
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00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:01,960
It cant be done.
23
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,200
Hollywood churning out yet another Matrix
movie seems...
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00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,520
...a meta commentary on
the themes of The Matrix itself.
25
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,880
Our lust for progress in the form of
mechanical mass production
26
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yields an incrementally emptier
human experience.
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00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,480
The crew are perplexed.
28
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Also, tomorrow we have to eat Jenkins.
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[man] Look here, Johnson,
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I'm going to get
to the bottom of this.
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[child's voice] Well, anyway.
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Oh.
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Bring the beat back.
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[woman]
Oh, yes, I remember that.
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[man] Yes, I remember that.
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[burps]
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[funky beat playing]
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[distant cheering and yelling]
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[indistinct radio chatter]
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[crackles]
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[Andres] Are you finding peaceful protests
are turning into riot situations
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from nowheres?
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The problem is you,
you big silly rioting police pooperpants!
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My name is Andérs Andérsøn and
I'm Norways leading riot and police
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00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,920
de-escalations expert.
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Your countrys police force should
do my training course. Take a looks.
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So Step 1 of Law Enforcement and
Riot De-Escalation is communications.
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Step 1, thats like rookie day,
okay? Its rookie time.
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Were gonna use the appropriate words and
phrases, safely engage with a perpetrator.
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Or as we like to call it...
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...poopertrator.
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Or is perp is poop.
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A perpetrator if called a like a poop will
not be like, it be like,
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poop is silly and funny and then itll be
like immediately disarmed.
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[upbeat music]
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[makes knocking noise]
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Ah, come out Captain Fat Farty Pants!
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See? See?
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The poopertrator is not threatened at all.
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[blows party horn]
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Go!
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00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240
[makes knocking noise]
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[cadet 1] Get out here, Captain Anus!
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00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,760
Really well done! Okay,
up to the next.
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This is so funny! Okay,
great. One more time.
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[cadet 2] Come outside, Lord Poopy.
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00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,760
[Anders laughing] Really! Oh, good,
real funny! Okay, up next.
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[Brent shouting] Riot police! Get on the
fucken ground!
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On the fucken ground,
maggot!
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00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,880
That was really great.
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[slide whistle sounds]
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Whoopsies!
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Looks like Captain Wheely over here is
still using the old way
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of using aggressions that inflames
many situations.
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[upbeat music]
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Now its time to go to my
Advance Method Level 2 training.
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My patented strategy,
adjective, noun, noun.
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00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,720
Misty, queef, unicorns, right?
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00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,840
Its got a fantasy creature in it,
see?
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And its also making queef.
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00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,400
All of a sudden you're in their head.
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A poopertrator is like, ‘What does
that even... what does that even mean?
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[upbeat music]
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Secondhand fart grosser!
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My mans!
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Pasty groin bucket!
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00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:15,840
[Anders] Well done. Thats really great.
88
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On the ground ya fucken shit cock!
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Oh no. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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Stand back.
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00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,720
[Brent] ‘Fucken shit cock is
adjective, noun, noun, right?
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00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,360
No. Yes, you're right,
but its still having inflammatory.
93
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Right, so less less inflammatory.
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00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,360
Thats right, so maybe next time lets
just try um,
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more more having subtle, okay?
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Yep, more subtle.
97
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,760
Okay, really great. Well
done. Did really great. Okay, good.
98
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:42,800
[upbeat music]
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That was really great.
100
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,120
Okay, so what were doing right now is
were going to train
101
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,360
a riot and
a protester scenario.
102
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:57,920
Were gonna turn up to a riot looking like
a bunch of big bloody shitheads.
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Like silly billies.
104
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Do you know what causes
many riot is when riot police turn up.
105
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:08,600
So dont turn up to riots with cudgels and
shields and many naughty things,
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00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,680
cos protesters will throw a brick.
107
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,160
Its like the tail wanking the dog.
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00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,080
[dog barks]
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- [squeaks]
- [Anders] Everybody grab something.
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- Silly chicken, like this.
- [chicken squeaking]
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Okay, you have...
lets put a nose on him. Haha!
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00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,800
Oh, you look really funny.
113
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- [everyone laughs]
- [Anders] Oh my God.
114
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Your your ancestors,
theyre crying in their graves.
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00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,360
[everyone laughs]
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Ohh, crying in their graves,
ashamed of you.
117
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Oh my God! Far out,
thats so funny!
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-[ slide whistle]
[Anders] Really funny joke.
119
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Were gonna have a riot, yeah?
120
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[cadets] Yeah. Yeah!
121
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,760
But why, why dont...
why dont we have a... a riot?
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[cadets] Okay!
[Anders] Okay, everyone!
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Watch my riot police trainees...
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...use their new skills to de-escalate
these protesters,
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by having silly and fun
times.
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- [protesters] None of that! None of that!
- [noisy hubbub]
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[Anders] Hey, what's happening? Poopy
silly, silly!
128
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[hubbub continues]
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Really great, everybody!
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[cadets]
Riot! Riot! Riot! Riot! Riot!
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00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,800
[Brent] Why dont ya fuck off!
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00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,040
[Anders] Look up here! Look up here!
133
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,440
- And a ball tap!
- [Brent giggles]
134
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,360
See that? You can always use a ball tap.
135
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,400
Interested? To talk to your entire police
force, riot squad and military,
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00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:25,200
I can come to your country any day of
the week, except Thursday mornings.
137
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,760
So, give me a call.
138
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,160
It could be really great.
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[slide whistle]
Good point, Anders.
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[dance music]
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[man] Amazing!
142
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[woman] Party!
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[woman] Party!
144
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♪ Its one of those nights
Where I'm loving the vibe ♪
145
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♪ The weather is perfect
The stars have aligned ♪
146
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,480
♪ Got some chips in the bowl
With some babaganoush ♪
147
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,520
♪ And an awesome playlist
To shake your tush ♪
148
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,520
♪ This party will be lit
Its unmistakable ♪
149
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,600
♪ I've got mood lights
Put away the breakables ♪
150
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,480
♪ Raked the garden
Got plenty of seating ♪
151
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,440
♪All thats left is to bring the
Beat in ♪
152
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,040
Oh, I havent told my neighbour,
Sam.
153
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,880
Just letting you know I'm having
a party tonight so...
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Yeah, I'd love to come.
155
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,720
Good. See you soon.
156
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,000
Okay now bring the beat in.
157
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,960
♪ Not a single thing will
Bring me down ♪
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♪ Give the party queen her crown ♪
159
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:16,000
♪ Its an amazing party night ♪
160
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,400
♪ Everythings gonna, gonna
Gonna be just right ♪
161
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,440
♪ Fuck, Sam rocked up
I was just being polite ♪
162
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,400
♪ Hes weirdly damp
And obsessed with kites ♪
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Quite aerodynamic.
You pull it and... [blows air]
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00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:27,720
- [Sam] Yeah, it goes up
- [party girl] Wow.
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[Sam] ...right in the sky.
166
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,720
♪ Oh, its fine its just a blip ♪
167
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,960
♪ Yo party people, try the dip! ♪
168
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,920
♪ Its gonna be the party
of the year ♪
169
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,800
♪ The party of the year ♪
170
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,720
♪ If you like weird hipster beer ♪
171
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,080
♪ Its an amazing party night ♪
172
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,160
[man chokes]
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Thats fucken disgusting!
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00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:47,760
Holy shit!
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[strained] ♪ Realistic party night ♪
[gags]
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Thats disgusting. I'm going.
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00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,680
- [party host] No, you know what?
- [party guest] I'm going home.
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Its gonna... gonna be fine.
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00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,680
♪ It's gonna be fine! ♪
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00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,200
[rapping] ♪ Its a realistic party! ♪
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00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,160
♪ Time for another bottle of Bacardi! ♪
182
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♪ We only drink it cos it rhymes with
Party! ♪
183
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,040
♪ Realistic party night ♪
184
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,160
[rap continues] ♪ Honestly I'm feeling
Kinda sleepy ♪
185
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,080
♪ And that guy Toms being creepy ♪
186
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,040
♪ And now Denise is getting weepy ♪
187
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,840
♪ Realistic party night ♪
188
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,520
I just really love him and
he just doesn't love me back!
189
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,560
♪ Realistic party night ♪
190
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,480
♪ Its kinda just chores
And music and a disco light ♪
191
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,240
♪ Realistic party night ♪
192
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,440
♪ I shoulda put my
mothers ashes out of sight ♪
193
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,440
[raps] ♪ Okay its not going
great but it can be saved ♪
194
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,080
♪ Rachels brought coke
Now were ready to rave ♪
195
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:34,960
♪ Whoo! ♪
196
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,560
♪ I'm feeling pretty
good pretty hot and ♪
197
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,240
Fuck!
I didnt upgrade my Spotify.
198
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,760
[Spotify voice] Upgrade to Spotify
Premium.
199
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,360
♪ Realistic party night ♪
200
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,400
Ooh, can we please make sure the recycling
is kept separate to the trash, thank you!
201
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,600
♪ Realistic party night ♪
202
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,640
Wow, yes, I'm very interested
in your opinions on Bitcoin, Greg.
203
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,520
♪ Realistic party night ♪
204
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,240
♪ Where everythings a tiny bit shit ♪
205
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,280
♪ A tiny bit shit ♪
206
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,480
♪ And no one tried my goddamn dip ♪
207
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,360
♪ No one tried the dip ♪
208
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,480
[dance music fades]
209
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,600
[atmospheric music]
210
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,480
[gunfire]
211
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,640
[melancholy strings]
[water laps]
212
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,760
[narrator] Jenkins is gone.
213
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,320
He welcomed the quick blow of
a blunt rock with a smile on his face.
214
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,160
The first time hed smiled in
what I can only imagine a month.
215
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,160
He was at peace happy,
216
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,400
knowing his withered ribs...
217
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,000
...shrink-wrapped in skin thinner than
burnt leaves,
218
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,520
would provide some respite
to the rest of us breathing ghosts.
219
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,080
He died happy, knowing
he would never have to see The Matrix 4.
220
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,080
[melancholy strings continue]
221
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,640
It just doesn't make sense...
222
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,080
...Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss are
apparently involved, in which case,
223
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,880
what were the stakes of the good movie and
the two bad ones if...
224
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,600
...even death isnt a
loss in their world?
225
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,160
[narrator laughs under his breath]
226
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,760
Some cause for optimism, perhaps...
for if death means nothing
227
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,200
in the narrative of these increasingly
bad Matrix movies...
228
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,600
...perhaps we too on
this raft need not fear it as well.
229
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:15,880
[wind blows]
230
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:20,520
Oh, but who are we kidding?
We will all die with proper finality,
231
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,960
just like Neo Infinity should have done in
the third, definitely worst one.
232
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,640
[electronic music]
233
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,160
[tv theme music]
234
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,120
[Adam] I'm Adam Trent,
a curious British man,
235
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,520
and I'm here to respectfully
explore the lives of utter freaks.
236
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,000
[theme music]
237
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,200
Curious.
238
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,400
I've been wondering about
the strange world of cults recently.
239
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,760
The goal is to show the human side of
these curious groups so that I can appear
240
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:52,640
open and non-judgemental, whilst allowing
my audience to enjoy being judgemental.
241
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,640
Can I insult my cake and eat it too?
242
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,640
[draws breath] Who knows what well find?
243
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:01,040
Well, we do, because we researched
them for weeks to make sure theyre
244
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,720
definitely backward pagan
nutters thatll make for compelling TV.
245
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:05,920
- [Adam] Hello!
- [Mary] Hi there!
246
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,480
I'm, um, I'm Adam Trent.
247
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,880
[Adam] This is Mary and Jesus.
248
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,920
They run the Seven Houses Commune
on the outskirts of Sydney.
249
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:12,920
[medieval background music]
250
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,640
[Adam] As always, I'll start the interview
in a mundane setting,
251
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,560
designed to humanise my targets,
252
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:21,280
while nevertheless asking
loaded questions to get a weird response
253
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,600
so that I can look at the camera
with an odd, knowing look on my face.
254
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,960
Um, so I hear that the
Seven Houses dont like modern medicine.
255
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,320
We live in a code with nature,
as God intended.
256
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,240
- [Mary] Mm-hmm.
- [Adam] Mm.
257
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,440
Say you had a broken arm,
you wouldnt go to hospital?
258
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,760
Yeah. Mm. Yeah, you'd go
go to hospital. Thatd be fine.
259
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:41,840
Yeah.
260
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,400
[Mary] Can you not leave those pauses in
there? Theyre making us look quite silly.
261
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:49,280
[giggles nervously]
262
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,000
Of course.
Not here to poke fun.
263
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,280
[Jesus] But you did leave them in
there in the show right now.
264
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,600
[Adam] With their apparent normality
failing to propel this documentary along,
265
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,560
I went for a walk around the
commune to see what I could find.
266
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,040
Curious.
Why have a sundial when clearly
267
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:16,320
we now have, we have clocks.
Makes you wonder what they are up to.
268
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,960
[medieval folk music]
269
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:22,400
My next foray into this culture
was a pagan ritual they invited me to.
270
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,320
While seemingly normal enough,
271
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,640
I was hoping that, by standing there
awkwardly refusing to join in,
272
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,200
their ceremony would
suddenly seem ridiculous by comparison.
273
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,840
- [cult members giggle joyfully]
- [cultist] I wish this would nary end!
274
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,680
[Adam] Normally when I
stand there long enough without reacting,
275
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,160
it makes them look weird.
276
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,040
But they just
enjoyed themselves
277
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,280
which made me look weird.
278
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,760
Thats not how this is s'posed to work.
279
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,440
If this commune is actually as
normal as I don't want them to be,
280
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,680
I'm going to have to use some other
techniques
281
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,080
to get some juicy shit on
camera asap.
282
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,440
Otherwise, a Vice reporter
with pink hair will beat me to it.
283
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000
[Adam] Its a bit of a documentary thing,
but we need this line, out loud.
284
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,440
[suspenseful music]
285
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,000
[Adam] Say it out loud.
286
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,880
-[Mary] No.
- [Adam] Just yep.
287
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,480
With Mary and Jesus being
suspiciously tight-lipped,
288
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,840
I decided to give a lift to one of the
other cult members
289
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,360
to have a perfectly harmless chat
with no agenda at all.
290
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:20,560
Um, so your robes. You all wear them.
Is that to eradicate your individuality?
291
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:21,840
Oh not at all, no, no.
292
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,120
We just wear it just so we can
empathise with one another and
293
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,520
its just easier
for washing and stuff as well.
294
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,880
Right. But its against your free will,
correct? You're not allowed to leave.
295
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,760
No, were, were more than
able to leave,
296
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,160
its just many of us dont because
its a nice place.
297
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,360
Can youI think your, um,
child locks on.
298
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,160
One last question. Your chores.
299
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,520
Is that some sort of forced,
unpaid labour?
300
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,400
No, no.
301
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,680
Its just in order to
manage a property like that,
302
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,400
everybody needs to kind of chip
in and contribute to the management of it.
303
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,480
Its kind of how
we eat and drink and stuff.
304
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,880
I think the child locks on, mate.
305
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,680
[Adam] Today didnt go very well.
306
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,000
I feel like they didnt say
anything too incriminating which means
307
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,960
I cant empathise with them
long enough for my audience to
308
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,400
enjoy their own non-empathetic response.
309
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,840
Its just
310
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,360
...how am I
supposed to make a documentary
311
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,880
when theyre being so nice and
reasonable?
312
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,320
It was in that moment I
realised perhaps I'd been focussing
313
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,320
on the wrong freaks all along.
314
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,800
So I decided to
meet the true sickos in our culture.
315
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,640
[theme music]
316
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:27,840
[Adam] This is Dave.
317
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,920
[Dave] I'm addicted to watching
shame-porn documentaries.
318
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:31,880
[inhales sharply]
319
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,600
[Adam] Yeah, what, what
do you like most about them?
320
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:39,440
Oh, I I guess I like
watching people weirder than me
321
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:43,360
cos it takes a bit of the
burden off me being a better person.
322
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:44,560
[Adam] Thats right.
323
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,080
This man loves shame-porn
documentaries,
324
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,360
which showcase the train-wrecked
lives of people that arent Dave.
325
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,200
[Dave] So do they all, like, root each
other?
326
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,480
[Adam] I think so, yes.
327
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,000
[Adam] My journey at an end,
328
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,920
its time for me to sum up this
documentary with sympathetic questions
329
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,640
that make my purpose seem
benign all along.
330
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,040
Arent we all like Dave?
331
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,040
Dont we all like watching television
332
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,640
that showcases people
whose lives are in the toilet?
333
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,400
Theyre fucken weird.
I'm glad I'm not like them.
334
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,360
[Adam] Arent we, in some way, like him?
335
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,440
Absolutely not.
Were all better than someone else.
336
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,560
And this has been my
documentary series, "Thats Curious".
337
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,200
- [seagulls squawk]
- [water laps]
338
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,760
[melancholy music]
339
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,520
[narrator] Day 247.
340
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,080
Sharks mock me,
circling below.
341
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,000
And clouds mock me,
circling above.
342
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,360
Never once offering
the solace of a single drop of rain.
343
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,720
[sinister music]
344
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,000
Madness has taken me.
345
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,800
I killed the others. Ate them.
346
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,600
And occasionally wear their skin as a
shield
347
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,560
from the unforgiving wrath of the
sun.
348
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,400
Another worrying sign of the madness
taking hold is...
349
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,280
...that I've found myself sort
of wanting to see The Matrix 4.
350
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,240
It must be
the delirium.
351
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,600
And even though its most likely
a cynical ploy
352
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,880
to leverage a collective nostalgia
353
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,200
and despite the legacy being thoroughly
debased by those other two movies,
354
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,200
I find myself swayed by the promise of
some lovely fights.
355
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,560
And Neo will do that thing with his hand
where he beckons someone
356
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,720
to come fight with him. Its kind of cool.
357
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:24,160
No! No, I must hold
fast. I must retain my faculties.
358
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,080
[horn sounds]
359
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,640
[sailor] Hey you there! Stay
calm. Well throw you a rope.
360
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,360
No! Ah, yes! Yes!
361
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,200
[sailor] With any luck,
362
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,320
well get you back to land in time to see
the new Matrix film!
363
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,600
What?
364
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,000
What?
365
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,280
Nah.
366
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,720
Jog on!
367
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,280
[narrator] Fate, it seems...
368
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,160
[shouting from raft] I'm fine.
369
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,000
...is not without a hint of irony.
370
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,960
I'm cool. Just having a nice time.
371
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,560
I'm relaxing!
372
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,720
[laughs deliriously]
373
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,040
[theme music]
374
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,520
[woman] Oh, yes,
I remember that.
375
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,800
[man] Yes, I remember that.
376
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,720
[funky theme music continues]
377
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:26,200
[indistinct overlapping chatter]
378
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:30,800
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