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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,560 [George] I'm on my way home now. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,960 Darling, I'm not a machine. I need time to... refill. 3 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,800 Yes. I'm wearing my baggy boxers! 4 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,359 ["Firewater" playing] 5 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,520 [sighs] 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,840 -[Karl] You alright? -No, I'm exhausted. 7 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,560 Me and the wife are trying to get pregnant. 8 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,440 -Both of you? -Four times last night, Karl. Four... 9 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,160 and a half. I fell asleep during, started snoring. 10 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,840 I had to pretend it was a love noise. 11 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,240 Nothing's ever straightforward with women, is it? 12 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,200 [sighs] I know what you mean. 13 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,600 Actually, George, I've got this friend 14 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,720 who really... really fancies this girl he works with. 15 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,600 Oh yeah, where does he work? 16 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,720 -In a job centre. -Mm. Like you. 17 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,200 -Yeah, exactly like me. -Well, that's why you're friends, 18 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,280 a lot in common. 19 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,560 Yes. Loads. Anyway... 20 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,040 my friend really wants to ask this girl out, 21 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,640 but he's not sure if she fancies him. 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,600 Plus, she's got this really weird rule about not dating people she works with. 23 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:27,840 Rules are made to be broken, Karl. Two words: carpe diem. 24 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,120 It means "go for it" in German. Your friend should just do it. 25 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,480 Yeah, I'm going to. 26 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,520 I mean, I'm going to tell my friend he should just her out. 27 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,200 I mean, he could get run over by a bus tomorrow. 28 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,560 Or fall down a well. 29 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,160 Yep. Or that. 30 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,240 [forced chuckle] 31 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,720 You know who we're talking about don't you, George? 32 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,640 Karl... 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,000 I work in fraud detection. I know how to read between the lines. 34 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,080 [Karl grunts] 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,080 [clicks tongue] 36 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,200 It's Paul, isn't it? 37 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:55,840 No. 38 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,840 Graham? 39 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,600 He doesn't even work here. 40 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,040 Yeah, I'll see you later, George. 41 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,480 ["Work" playing] 42 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,080 [haunting flute music] 43 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,760 -Breathe in through your nose... -[all inhale] 44 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,200 -...and out through your mouth. -[all exhale] 45 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,360 [Trish] Clear your minds. 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,560 -Relax. -[snoring] 47 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,720 Today is all about you. 48 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,280 And earning time and a half for working on a Saturday! 49 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,480 [all cheer] 50 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,960 -[Janette and Paul chuckle] -[Gary] Ooh, ey. [chuckles] 51 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,400 [Trish] And a very warm welcome to the staff from the Kingstanding branch. 52 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,000 It's so nice to see so many of you here 53 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,680 at this mandatory health and well-being training event. 54 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,360 And out through your mouth. 55 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,200 [Gary moans] 56 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:03,880 [chuckles] 57 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,080 Do you want to join me, Denise? 58 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,680 We are meant to be running this together: managers united. 59 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,880 I'd love to, my darling, but I'm a slave to my bunions. 60 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,760 [Trish] And in through your nose. 61 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,000 And out through your mouth. 62 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,560 -Hi. -Hi. 63 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,400 -Can we talk later? -Shh, Karl, please. 64 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,200 The "Healthy Staff, Happy Staff" initiative 65 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,960 is all about putting your well-being first. 66 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,080 [snoring loudly] 67 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,720 Mummy! 68 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,760 We'll be doing a number of exercises 69 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,400 designed to relieve stress and help you relax. 70 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,520 Then later there'll be a refresher course 71 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,000 on how to deal with physically violent job seekers. 72 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,600 What have you done? 73 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,320 ["Work" playing] 74 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,200 No one's dead, Graham, we're just doing some staff training. 75 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,720 Okay, I'll come back later. 76 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,400 No, mate, it's Saturday, we're totally closed. 77 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,640 That's absolutely fine, about two? 78 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,400 Still closed, mate. Come back Monday. 79 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,240 Completely understand, Paul, I'll see you tomorrow. 80 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,160 ["Work" playing] 81 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:20,120 Okay, we're going to do an exercise called "this is me, who are you?" 82 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,440 -Denise. -What? 83 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,880 -Do you want to carry on? -Oh, is it me? Oh, hang on, darlin'. 84 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,760 -Just tell them to get into pairs. -Sorry, Trish, I'm lost. 85 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,440 No, it's fine. Get into pairs, everyone. 86 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,000 -Howdy, partner! [chuckles] -[Natalie] What'd you want to talk about? 87 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,560 It's probably the wrong time to talk about it, actually. 88 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,520 Although, when is there a right time? I could fall down a well tomorrow. 89 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,080 Karlos! Hello, mate! Eeeeh! 90 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,800 -Little bit late, aren't you? -What? Half ten on a Saturday morning? 91 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,600 -I don't normally get up till Sunday! -Oh, perfect! You two make a lovely pair. 92 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,000 Actually, Trish, me and Karl have already partnered up. 93 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,760 Well un-partner then and work with someone new. 94 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,040 You two see each other every day, don't you want a change? 95 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,000 Well, I'll find you somebody else. 96 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,520 -Tyler. -Natalie. 97 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,440 -He told me all about you. -Yeah, what did he say? 98 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,640 Just that you were fit. 99 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,680 Me and Tyler have done these training days together before. 100 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,120 This bloke here... legend. 101 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,960 He properly cracks me up! 102 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,440 Seriously, right, he's the funniest bloke I've have ever met. 103 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,080 We are talking about Karl, right? 104 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,400 -[Trish] Natalie? -[Karl forces a laugh] 105 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,960 Come on, mate. 106 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:40,040 [Karl] So, you're Tyler Kerrigan, you've worked at a job centre for-- 107 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,720 Karlos! Mate! You're not actually doing this bollocks, are you? 108 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,360 [chuckling] Naaaa, no. I'm only joking. 109 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,720 -[Tyler] Course you are! Nutcase! -[chuckles] Yep. 110 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,200 I've got something to make the day a bit more interesting. 111 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,680 Topped it up with a little cheeky something to get us started. 112 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,680 Get involved. 113 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,360 -Bit early for that, isn't it? -Nah... it's not even that strong. 114 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,120 I should probably have it with food. 115 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,680 That's so funny when you pretend to be all boring like that. 116 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,040 [laughs] Yeah. Alright... give it here. 117 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,040 Lug one dot com. 118 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,080 ["Work" playing] 119 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,480 Okay, Angela, tell us what you've learned about Gary from Kingstanding. 120 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,120 Well, his name's Gary, 121 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,200 -and he's from Kingstanding. -[grunts] 122 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,320 Okay. Gary, what have you learned about Angela? 123 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,400 Oh, the mysterious enigma that is Angie! [chuckles] 124 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,360 Well, she has a very dry sense of humour. 125 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,040 -But we've had a giggle, haven't we? -No. 126 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,600 I keep on knocking on the door, but she's not going to let me in. 127 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,000 [chuckles] 128 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,600 But by the end of the day I'm going to crack her hard shell 129 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,320 and find her soft centre. 130 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:53,000 Well, good luck with that. Natalie, would you like to report back? 131 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,720 Yes, this is Denise, she's forty-something. 132 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,040 -A lady never tells. -[both chuckle] 133 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,840 She's been a manager for six years 134 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,000 and she suffers from a number of health issues. 135 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,520 Migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, ingrown toenails-- 136 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,000 I don't like to talk about it, really. 137 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,160 Well, don't, then. Tell us what you've learnt about Natalie. 138 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,040 Yes, well I have met the most lovely, 139 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,200 wonderful and talented Natalie Mason-- 140 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,560 Hello! [chuckles] 141 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,480 She's deputy manager of Brownall... 142 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,960 -Yay! -...and loves the work, god bless her. 143 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,440 She's saving for a flat 144 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,520 and, unbelievably, she doesn't have a boyfriend. What's that about? 145 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,800 Yes, well, Natalie's focused on her career at the moment. 146 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,800 Oh, Natalie, sweetheart, you don't want to let this place 147 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,320 stop you finding a fella. 148 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,960 You're far too lovely to keep all to yourself. 149 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,680 -Aww. -Yeah, I would. 150 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,760 -Thanks. -There's plenty of time 151 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:41,840 for romance later. 152 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,720 You want to be regional manager by the time you're 30, don't you, Natalie? 153 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,920 Can't I have a boyfriend and be regional manager? 154 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,480 No, you can't. 155 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,840 What if she meets the right person now? 156 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,600 She might only get one chance in this life to find true happiness. 157 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,480 Okay, let's move on, this isn't Dawson's Creek. 158 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,520 But that's what this day's about, isn't it though, Trish, my lovely darling? 159 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,160 You can't let work take over your life. 160 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,880 Yeah, and you can't let life ruin your career. 161 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,200 I'm single, I'm successful, and I am very happy. 162 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,440 Right... I'm happy. 163 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,040 Are we happy? I'm happy. 164 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,520 So let's hail yourselves a relaxi taxi. 165 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,600 It's massage time. 166 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,560 ["Orinoco Flow" playing] 167 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,760 Is that good? 168 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,279 Am I doing it right? 169 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:35,720 Yeah, that feels nice. 170 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,840 Bit harder, maybe. 171 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,760 Harder. Okay. 172 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,560 Shall I go faster? 173 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,920 Karl, if you could stop manhandling Natalie for a moment, 174 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,240 I'd like a word with her. 175 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,040 Oh. Are my eyes deceiving me? [chuckles] 176 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,840 It looks like a beautiful young woman has been left without a partner. 177 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,520 Get your fat fingers off me or I will damage you. 178 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,760 [laughs] Oh, you do make me laugh, Angie. Come on. 179 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,960 Oh, that is... really relaxing. 180 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,680 Oof. It's like your fingers are melting into my back. 181 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,920 [moans] Relax, just go with it, mate. 182 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,880 Seriously, it's like warm... 183 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,440 custard is being poured all over my body. 184 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,480 I love coming up on ketamine. 185 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,640 -Yeah! -Yeah. 186 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Sorry, what…? What did you say, ketamine? 187 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:33,840 [Tyler] Yeah, in the drink. 188 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,920 Oh, did you think it was pills? 189 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,080 No, I thought it was vodka. 190 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:41,280 [laughs] You're proper funny man. You have done K before, haven't you? 191 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,640 No, no I haven't. I mean, call me old-fashioned, 192 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,560 but I don't usually have horse tranquilizer for breakfast. 193 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,200 Ahh, you had me going then. 194 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,200 Ah, bear jokes. 195 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:58,840 Oh, f... shit. Oh... fuck. 196 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,000 Natalie, there's no delicate way of saying this, 197 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,760 but I think Karl finds you sexually attractive. 198 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,280 -Trish-- -So obviously you need to be separated. 199 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,240 Separated? We're not naughty children. 200 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,760 What about the rule? 201 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,680 Dating a colleague is a disaster waiting to happen. 202 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,000 -I'm only thinking of you. -Are you? 203 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,000 ["Work" playing] 204 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,320 -[knock on door] -Trish? 205 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,360 Oh, Natalie, sweetheart, can we have a private chat? 206 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,440 I just want to talk about your future. 207 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,840 Can we go in here? 208 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,720 [Natalie] Yep. 209 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,120 What's this about? 210 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,240 Is everything alright, my beautiful darling? 211 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,680 And stop me if I'm talking out of line here, 212 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,400 but I sense some tension between you and Trish. 213 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,360 Oh, is it that noticeable? 214 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,920 Talk to me, Natalie. Tell me your troubles. 215 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,440 We all know Trish can occasionally be impossible to work with. 216 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,480 [Natalie] No, it's not that. 217 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,600 It's just she's got this rule about not dating your work colleagues, 218 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,520 and I think I've sort of fallen for one of mine. 219 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,640 Is it George? 220 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,000 The gorgeous fraud officer with the beard you could hang onto for dear life? 221 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:07,280 No. It's Karl. The sort of funny-looking, clean-shaven one. 222 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,960 Oh, I see. Then why don't you come and work for me, my lovely? 223 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,640 I'm rarely there, what with my health problems. 224 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,640 If it's not my feet, it's my migraines. 225 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,320 And… [whispers] I'm going through the change. 226 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,040 There's some days I'm just too emotional to come in. I cry at tampon adverts. 227 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 What do you think? 228 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,240 Would I still be deputy manager at Kingstanding? 229 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,520 And acting manager when I was away. And I don't care who you have sex with. 230 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,800 -Brilliant, I'll have sex with everyone! -[both laugh] 231 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:33,720 [whispers] Natalie. 232 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,480 Can I think about it? We should probably get back. 233 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,280 Oh, Trish has left her keys. 234 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,560 [keys jingle] 235 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,760 [door closes and locks] 236 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,840 -[panting] Don't be locked in. -[door rattles] 237 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:54,760 Oh, Trish. Oh God, okay. It's alright, Trish, keep calm. 238 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,520 I didn't mean to take it, it was in a drink. 239 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,280 No, I'm not at a rave. 240 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,760 I'm at a health and well-being training event. 241 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,080 Yes, I can see the irony. 242 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,960 Right. Oh... oh... 243 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,160 [breathes heavily] Oh, well, what's… what's going to happen? 244 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,320 I'm starting to feel floppy. 245 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,280 -[computer thuds] -Hello, Natalie. 246 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,480 Hi, have you seen Trish anywhere? We're going to start back. 247 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:22,960 Trish? Um... 248 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,320 No, no, I have not seen Trish, not at all. Natalie. 249 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,240 -Alright. -[Karl] Goodbye, Natalie. 250 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,520 Does it have to be today? 251 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,800 Please don't call me names. Some men find that word offensive. 252 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,160 [phone vibrating] 253 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,480 Someone's keen. 254 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,720 Sometimes, Paul, I think life would be easier 255 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,120 if I just went and lived alone in the woods. 256 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,040 -Where would you sleep? -I'd fashion a bivouac 257 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,880 -out of leaves and moss. -[Paul guffaws] 258 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,360 You've never even been camping, what's brought this on? 259 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,200 Tanya's booked me in for a sperm test. 260 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,320 -She thinks I'm firing blanks. -I see. 261 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,840 I went for a test before, but I couldn't do it. 262 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,440 Too much pressure at the clinic. 263 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,800 I don't perform well under stress. 264 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,760 They gave me this to fill. 265 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,080 I don't think you have to fill it, mate. You're not a whale. 266 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,600 If I go home without a sample, 267 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,600 Tanya will make sure that I've got nothing to do a sample with. 268 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,840 Why don't you take yourself off to the disabled toilet for five minutes? 269 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,120 It's perfect for some "private gentleman time." 270 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,240 And they've got a mirror. 271 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:35,680 Oh... 272 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,960 ["Work" playing] 273 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,880 I am off my chops. 274 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,760 I feel sort of terrified. 275 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,720 [breathing heavily] My... my leg's gone wobbly. 276 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,120 -I think your phone's ringing. -Aaah. [chuckles] 277 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,680 -[phone vibrates] -[laughs] 278 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,760 Trish is phoning me. 279 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,480 Yeah. You going to answer it? 280 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,600 No. 281 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,480 Oh, my phone feels like a sponge. 282 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,840 [Tyler] Squashy. Like a boob. 283 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,920 Yes. Yes, a boob. 284 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,840 I like boobs. 285 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,960 [sighs heavily] 286 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,240 -[thud] -[Trish] Ow. 287 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,040 Come on. Think, Trish, think. 288 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:31,600 There's still no sign of Trish. So, Denise, do you want to take over? 289 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,320 Oh, not really. 290 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,000 -Why don't you do it, you'll be brilliant? -Okay, then. 291 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,000 -Sure you can manage? -Yes, thanks. 292 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,600 We are going to play a fun game of healthy eating Pictionary. 293 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:44,480 Ugh. 294 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,400 ["Shake A Fist" playing] 295 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,280 [Trish grunts] Come on... 296 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,720 I will not let her take my Natalie. 297 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,320 Come on, Trish. 298 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,040 [Trish grunts] 299 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,760 [panting] 300 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,120 Oh, it's a candle! 301 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,320 Candle? Yes, it's a candle. 302 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,280 I mean, it looks like a candle. 303 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,480 Is it a candle? 304 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,520 [hesitating] 305 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,000 -Candle. -Stop saying "candle." 306 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,240 It's all healthy food. 307 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,760 Is it corn on the cob? 308 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,040 -No. -I thought you had an art degree. 309 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,200 Finger of fudge. 310 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,720 No, it's healthy food. Karl, what is it? 311 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,840 It's... a banana. 312 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:49,280 -[chuckles] -Oh, I thought it looked like a candle. 313 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440 -What do you think it looked like, Angie? -A penis. 314 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:53,840 Oh. 315 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,000 ["Tchaparian" playing] 316 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,040 -George? -[George moans] 317 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,000 -What on earth are you... -[rhythmic rubbing] 318 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,000 -Oh, sweet Lord Jesus. -[George moans] 319 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,040 Physical restraining techniques should only be used as a last resort. 320 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,120 But if the claimant gets ugly, you've got to bring him down. 321 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,240 [groaning] You like to be in charge, don't you, Angie? 322 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,720 -I could crush you with my thighs. -[chuckles] 323 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,080 -That's not right, Angela. -I know what I'm doing. 324 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,480 Karl, will you be a volunteer for me? 325 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,280 Oh no. Sorry. Toilet time. 326 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:49,920 -George. Let's show them how it's done. -No, I can't, not right-- [groans loudly] 327 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,960 Ow! Ow! Ow! 328 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,560 -[door squeaks open] -[Karl muttering nonsense] 329 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,440 No, this isn't good. No this isn't good. 330 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,800 -[Trish] Karl. -Huh? 331 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,720 -Hello? -It's me. 332 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,960 Who's "me"? There's no one else here. 333 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,560 Karl. Up here. 334 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:14,079 -Help me. -Why is the ceiling made of your face? 335 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,920 -Get me down. -No... 336 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,000 you're not real. 337 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,360 -This is not real. -[Trish] Of course, I'm real. 338 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,480 I'm dirty and hot and real. Now get me down. 339 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,040 No, you're in my head. You're just a Mind Trish! 340 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,880 Oh, for goodness' sake! 341 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,640 -[Karl groans] -Karl! Karl! 342 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,600 [door squeaks open] 343 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,600 [sighs] Ruddy heck. 344 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,040 There you are. Look, I need to talk to you about something. 345 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,400 Oh hello, Natalie, what do you want to talk about? 346 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,640 I'm thinking of leaving Brownall. 347 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,080 No, why? 348 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,200 Well, I... 349 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,280 actually quite like you a bit. 350 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,360 And I think that you like me. 351 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,720 [stuttering] Yeah, I do, I really do. I do like you, a lot. 352 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,320 [laughs] Good. But that rule about never dating people from work, 353 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,160 that was never mine, that's Trish. 354 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,560 And if I go to Kingstanding, then... 355 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,000 we could be together. 356 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,800 I really want that. 357 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,960 Ever since I met you I've wanted to kiss you. 358 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,640 Why don't you, then? 359 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,000 Because I know you're not real. 360 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,960 You're like floaty Trish, you're just an hallucination. 361 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,880 Karl, you are being really weird. What is wrong with you? 362 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,040 I have taken ketamine. 363 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,960 What? Why? Have you lost your mind? 364 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,000 It was not on purpose. Tyler gave it to me in a drink. 365 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,280 Now I'm seeing things. My hand will go straight through you. 366 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,200 Although you do feel remarkably solid. 367 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,600 Can you feel that? 368 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,600 Yeah. 369 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,480 ["Jasmine" playing] 370 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,280 Can you feel that? 371 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,840 Mm-hm. I think so. 372 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,120 Can we do it again just to make sure? 373 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,320 [chuckles] 374 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,120 Ow! 375 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,200 The threat has been neutralized with the minimum of distress 376 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,640 -for both parties. -[Gary moans] 377 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,160 Denise, can I have a quick word? 378 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,680 -Have you made up your mind? -Can we just...? 379 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,720 [George groaning loudly] Janette... 380 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,760 Please get off me. My sperms are dying. 381 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,000 So I've given it a lot of thought, 382 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,280 and it is a great opportunity for me. 383 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,040 [Denise] You're going to love it at Kingstanding. 384 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,440 -Right, that's it! -[Denise] You can... 385 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,680 -Back off, Denise. -[Natalie] Yes, well... 386 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,280 Get your hands off my Natalie! 387 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,000 ["Work" playing] 388 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,240 [Trish] I hope you're ready for Trish! 389 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,880 Oh shit. 390 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,000 [Natalie] I could probably start next month, I think. 391 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,280 Back off, Denise. 392 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,040 [employee chatter stops abruptly] 393 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,600 Trish, where've you been? 394 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,560 I have been in the ceiling, thank you very much for asking, 395 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,840 while she has been stealing my staff. 396 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,000 I'm not stealing her! I'm offering her an opportunity. 397 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:38,960 Trish, my darling. 398 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,520 Okay, two things: I am not, nor ever will be, your darling, 399 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,600 so stop calling me that. 400 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,040 You only want Natalie because she'll do all the work 401 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,280 while you sit at home on your arse on "sick leave." 402 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,840 [Denise] Do not upset me, Trish. 403 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,120 If my IBS flares up there will be hell to pay. 404 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,640 Now, Natalie you're coming to Kingstanding, aren't you? 405 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,080 No, you can't go! I don't want you to go. 406 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,200 I do. 407 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,880 I'm sorry, Trish. I really like working here, 408 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,440 but I like Karl, too. 409 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,880 Yeah, she just kissed me. 410 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,120 Yeah boy! 411 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,920 -Aha. -Woo! 412 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,440 Okay... sod me and my silly rules. What do I know? 413 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,320 Natalie, stay. 414 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,720 Be my deputy manager. 415 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,120 You can do whatever the hell you want with Karl. 416 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,880 But obviously no French kissing in front of the job seekers. 417 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,200 Well, in that case, I'm sorry, Denise, but I'm staying at Brownall. 418 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,280 -Yes! -[Denise grunts] 419 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,600 In your face, Denise. 420 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,640 ["Baby I'm Yours" playing] 421 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,720 Right. Kingstanding, get your things, we are leaving. 422 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,480 [Natalie and Trish chuckle] 423 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,000 -Let's see, you're going? -Kingstanding. 424 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,920 No. You're coming home with me. 425 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,680 Right. Okay, why? 426 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,360 To find my soft centre. 427 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,680 Oh! Oh! 428 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,160 Janette, I think I'm going to be sick. 429 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,160 Oh, sorry, George, I forgot you were there. 430 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,080 -[back cracks] -[moans loudly] 431 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,760 Right, I have been in the ceiling for an hour and a half, 432 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,280 I think I need a colossal gin. 433 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,080 Come on, Team Brownall, I'm buying. [giggles] 434 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:08,880 Woot woot! 435 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,160 Alright, George, you coming? 436 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:19,960 Give me five minutes. 437 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,840 -[bangs arm loudly] -[Natalie] Oh! 438 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,960 ["Baby I'm Yours" playing] 439 00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:35,560 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33644

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