All language subtitles for Hack My Life s04e08 Hacks by the Poolside.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately.

[ Screams ]

♪♪

You hear anything,
shriek?

Just you.
Wait.

Why do you have to listen in
on the girls again?

Because I want to know
who Shelly's going

to the dance with.

So, Shelly, who are you going to
let take you to the dance?

I don't know, Liza.

On the one hand, slayer's a
misogynist with a super-hot bod.

And, on the other hand,
hack is --

he's a misogynist
with great hair.

What's a girl to do?

My gosh.

Boys totally suck.

But you know
what doesn't suck?

This yogurt-turmeric-and-honey
face mask

that I'm hacking for us.

The lactic acid in the yogurt
removes dead skin cells.

Turmeric reduces redness,

and the honey moisturizes
the skin and prevents acne.

It tingles more
than my zit cream.

I would just die
if anyone saw us.

Okay, it's getting hot.

I'm going to
go open a window.

[ Yelps ]

This is bad.

♪♪

Kevin: Tonight...
Come to mama.

...on "hack my life".

Whoo!

Brooke: A zero-cost hack
for removing dents

from your wood floor.

What?!

Wait a minute.
What the fart?

Are wrestling hacks the key
to boosting Kevin's confidence?

I challenge anyone
who's man enough.

Kevin: Plus Brooke shows you
how to up-cycle an old shirt

into a cute new apron.

Brooke: Step into the ring.

Agh.

Kevin: This is "hack my life".

It's host against host.

And hack against hack.

As we compete to see
who can out-hack who.

And whoever runs out
of hacks first loses.

Two hackers enter,
but only one hacker can leave.

Welcome to...

Anything you can hack...
I can hack better.

Pool party edition.

Oh, hey, Brooke.

Nothing ruins
a perfect summer day

like the stinging bite
of a mosquito,

but I have a hack for keeping
these bloodsuckers at bay,

and it's
an all-natural one.

I'm going to take
a spray bottle,

fill it
with a little water,

and then, to top it off,
some organic cinnamon oil.

That will keep you bite free
all day long.

Ooh, what a delight.

I smell like a churro.

You know what else
I'm catching a whiff of?

The sweet scent of victory,
Brooke.

But, kev,
what about bees?

They hover around your food
and terrorize guests.

I hacked this problem weeks ago
by planting some marigold,

and now I just set them
around my spread,

and the scent
naturally repels bees.

[ Chuckles ]

Aren't they pretty?

Oh, yeah.
That looks gorgeous, Brooke.

Why don't we celebrate
with an ice-cold beverage?

And you know, Brooke,
when you're throwing a party,

the most important thing
is what?

Yeah, that's right --
presentation.

Which is why
I've hacked together

this delightful
punch-serving display

using nothing more than a ladder
and some wooden boards,

so whenever you're ready,
you can cruise on over

for a delicious drink
of your sweet defeat

courtesy of my beautiful
booze tower. Gotcha, Brooke!

That sounds great
for your friends on land, Kevin,

but what about your buddies
in the water?

That's why I hacked
a pool cooler

out of a plastic container
and a pool noodle.

You just use a regular
old pool-noodle,

and then you cut it up
into four pieces.

Then you take a piece of rope,
string it around,

throw some beer
and ice in there,

and, boom,
I've got a floating cooler.

And now I've got ice-cold beer
at my fingertips.

Come to mama.

Speaking of cold,
this pool is too cold

to swim in,
but guess what?

I have a hack for that, too.
I thought ahead,

and I wrapped some
hula-hoops in black plastic.

Just wrapped it around,
taped down the excess edges.

That way, the plastic absorbs
the heat of the sun

and transfers it to the pool.

Think you can top that, kev?

Oh, I know I can top that,
Brooke,

because I'm filling the pool
with these buckets

of warm water,
so my guests

will basically be taking
a luxurious bath.

Kevin, put the buckets down
and admit you're out of hacks.

[ Buzzer ]

Alright.
You know what?

How about you join me
over here?

Okay.

This pool party's better.

Ooh, flamingos.

♪♪

Announcer: The post-it --

america's favorite
office supply,

frequently used and even
more frequently stolen.

But did you know
these sticky slips

are also a hack from history?

Minnesota, 1968 --

Spencer silver
is a chemist for 3m.

His job?

Develop a glue strong enough to
be used for constructing planes.

I think this formula
will really take off.

But he does
the exact opposite.

His adhesive leaves no residue
and is far too weak.

Still, this failure becomes
company folklore

and the technology
is abandoned until 1974.

Another 3m chemist
named Arthur fry

sings with his church choir.

Wait,
what page are we on?

But when the bookmark
in his hymnal slips,

divine inspiration strikes.

Hallelujah.

Eager for a better bookmark,
fry recalls

silver's failed super-adhesive

and applies it to a stick
of yellow note-paper,

packing together
the first ever post-its pad.

Note to self --
I'm a genius.

Flash-forward to 1998.

Post-it notes
are office staples.

A survey finds that
employees receive

an average of 11 notes
on post-its every day.

In today's digital world,
post-its persevere.

We've got plenty of them
to clean our keyboards,

decorate our offices,
or bandage

the paper cuts we get
from using post-its.

Congratulations,
post-it notes.

You somehow survived extinction

and remain a great
hack from history.

You're still reading
that same magazine?

So much content to digest.

Brooke, spider!

Alright, alright.
I got ya.

Well, no, no, no.
Hey, no, don't kill it.

Since when are you
such a pacifist?

Ugh.
Looks like we need

a hack delivery
to save this spider and Kevin.

♪♪

[ Doorbell rings ]

Bugs in the home
are nobody's friend,

but that doesn't mean
they deserve to die for it,

so this product right here,
the old critter catcher,

lets you safely remove
some bugs

and put them back
where they belong.

Not just for spiders.
What?

"It's the safe and friendly way
to remove insects

and critters
from your home". Oh.

Here are the claims
from my critter catcher.

It safely and humanely
transports bugs.

No more spraying
harmful chemicals

around children and pets.

No more cleaning bug guts
off the wall.

Hate that.

Look what it comes with.

It comes
with a demo spider?

Apparently my critter catcher
is easy.

Simply squeeze the handle,
so the soft,

nylon bristles open.

Place directly over the critter,
release the handle, and catch!

And release back
into the wild.

Look, it worked.
Alright.

I don't even want a plastic
one near my face.

-Okay.
-So now it's time to decide --

do we want to keep it
or send it back?

Kevin.
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.

We are not done
testing this yet.

We don't actually know if it's
actually humane and friendly.

We are going to re-home
10 crickets.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Our job is to safely
deliver 10 crickets

from our living room
to the great outdoors.

Ew,
look at this wallflower.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Alright.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

[ Gasps ]
Watch out.

Go, go, go.
Transfer!

-Oh. Oh.
-Oh?

There he is.
He's alive.

-Oh, he's alive.
-He's just shocked.

These don't work well
if they're up against a wall,

which, you know,
a lot of critters will do.

Oh, I got one, I got one.

Oh, really?
No.

Did it fall out?

It's kind of hard
catching on the first try.

If I was at home, this cricket
would have run under my couch.

Come here, you.

Got him.

Yeah, buddy.

Got him.
Here you go, buddy.

You can go hang out
with your friends.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh.

Oh, okay.
Go ahead.

Come here!
Got him the second time.

♪♪

There's one at the table.
Here, watch.

Oh, did it -- okay.

-Okay.
-Oops.

That was 3:00 A.M. Brooke.

Just going through
the apartment,

knocking over tables
and chairs.

Where did ya hide
the wine?

Get in there, buddy.

Mission accomplished,
Brooke. I think so.

-Alright.
-We caught all 10.

They're all alive.

No one looks like
they have a limp.

This thing claimed that
it could safely

and humanely
transport bugs.

-It did.
-Yeah.

Obviously, we didn't use
any dangerous pesticides.

And we didn't smash any
crickets, so there was no mess.

I do dislike
the hit-to-miss ratio.

I feel like if you miss a bug
once at home,

they're probably
going to leap away,

and then they're gonna have
a score to settle.

Yeah,
bug with a grudge.

Not what you want to go
to sleep with.

The notion that this might
help keep a critter alive --

I say keep it.

I'm keeping mine.

Want some popcorn?
Oh.

You didn't wash that,
did you?

Oh.

Brooke: Coming up...
Kevin hacks a mini-barbecue

perfect for dining solo.

Kevin: Oh, look at the char.

And will a wet t-shirt
and an iron fix

those dents
in your wood floors?

I'm so curious.

Find out when the hack
comes back.

♪♪

Were you guys
spying on us?

Uh...no.

No, no.

We were just...

Bird-watching.
Yeah, yeah.

Did you know that
the California clapper rail

is actually
indigenous to --

shut up, shriek.

My nail Polish!

Noids!

That nail-Polish stain is never
coming out of the carpet.

And we just ran out
of nail-Polish remover.

Shriek, go to the kitchen
and get me some window cleaner.

Now spray some window cleaner
on the stain,

and rub it out
with a rag.

The solvent
in the window cleaner

will break up
the nail Polish.

Rad, right?
Yeah.

[ Gasps ] Wow.

The stain
is completely gone.

Hmm, but this doesn't make up
for you spying on us.

[ Woman screams ]

What's that?

Cassie's in the bathroom
dying her hair.

Look at what this dye
did to my hair!

I'm ruined, and I'll never
get into Stanford!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

Well, hello there, friends.

Welcome to
"let's make a thing,"

where one man's trash
is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's in the box.

Ooh, we got some foil trays.

If there's one thing I've
learned over my handful of years

on this planet, it's that
nobody ever rsvps, right?

No.
You send out all the messages,

and there you are, alone.

But it's okay because today
I've got a hack

that can take some of the sting
out of being alone.

Don't waste your money
on a big, fancy grill

and hope that
your friends will come.

We're building a barbecue
for one.

Here's what you'll need.

Got your trays, pliers,
utility knife, trusty hanger,

and, finally, some binder clips.

Let's make a thing.

We're going to cut some holes
for the binder clips

to go through to act
as a hinge,

cutting the top and the bottom
at the same time.

Let's do that
on the other side, as well.

Okay.

Flip this boy around.

Binder-clip one down.

Let's do this other guy here.

Voilà.

We can take our
third binder clip

and turn it
into a fancy handle.

Whoop.

So now, we need to create
some air holes

in this
for circulation.

Here we go.
There's one.

I'll call that two.

There we go.

Got some ventilation out back.

Alright, now we're going to need
room for the smoke to come out,

so on either side of the grill,
two more little triangles.

Now where are we resting
out meat?

Oh, the age-old question.

That's going to come
from this hanger.

I'm just going to go ahead
and cut the wire in two spots

and then bend it
into shape.

[ Grunts ] Here we go.

So why don't we throw
some briquettes on this?

So, I could shovel chips
into my gaping maw

to muffle the sad cries or use
these to light the charcoal

'cause these boys burn hot.

There we go.

That chip's moving.

Now we're going to take
our hot dog,

smack it right on the grill.

I'm going to seal in the heat.

You can see the smoke
coming out --

air in-take doing its job.

Oh, look at the char.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

You're outside?

Oh, I didn't even know
you were going to show.

Oh, look at that.

Pat yourselves on the backs,
friends,

because you just made a thing.

You're embarrassing me.

♪♪

♪♪

Sometimes an item is so useful

it ascends into the pantheon
of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate
a kitchen staple

that truly has become
a hack all star --

garlic.

Though it looks puny,

one clove of garlic
packs a punch,

and not just
to your taste buds.

Just one clove makes splinter
removal a cinch.

Garlic's anti-inflammatory
properties

helps loosen up splinters
when slipped under a band-aid.

All-star.

If psoriasis has you itching
for a solution, look no further.

Garlic helps soothe
that afflicted skin.

All-star.

And buff out scratches
in glass furniture.

Garlic's sticky juices
fill in cracks

and erase signs of damage.

All-star.

Thin air?
Think again.

Rub a clove of garlic
on your scalp for 15 minutes.

It helps stimulate hair growth
with its high sulfur content.

All-star.

And don't forget,
you can use garlic

to keep unwanted
bloodsuckers at bay.

All-star.

Congratulations, garlic.

You worked your way out of
the pan and into our hearts.

Welcome to the club,
hack all-star.

Brooke: Coming up, we test
the limits of a zero-cost

hack for dented floors.

Kevin: And later, need
an emergency Halloween costume

for your kid? We hack
a world championship-look

with just a t-shirt
and a pair of socks.

What? What?
[ Laughs ]

♪♪

What am I going to do
with this hair?!

Now no one is going to go
to the dance with me.

Shriek, I need vitamin c,
baby shampoo, and a bowl.

Here you go.

[Laughter

can we snort that?
No!

I'm mixing vitamin c
and baby shampoo

to get that dye
out of your hair.

♪♪

You guys, it worked.

How did you do it,
hack?

Well,
the acid in vitamin c

swelled up her hair follicle,
loosening up the dye,

and then the clarifying
baby-shampoo washed

the dye right away.

Hack,
you're a hack genius.

How could I go to the dance
with anybody but you?

Lesson learned.

It pays to be a scumbag
when you have hacks.

[Laughter

hey, kev.

Hey.
Why are you so down?

Uh, I had some friends
over last night

and things
got a little rowdy,

and we put some dents
in the hardwood floor.

Oh.

Well, I heard
that there's a hack

that can get dents
out of a wood floor.

But how big a dent
can this hack fix?

Let's find out.

Both: This is
"hack it to the limit".

Today, we're testing out
a hack to fix dents in wood

using an iron
and a wet t-shirt.

It's hack magic!

The idea
behind today's hack is

that the iron will boil
the water in the wet t-shirt,

pump steam into the wood,
and pop out the dents.

We're going to put it
through a three-course trial.

Level one --
a dent from high heels.

Level two --
a dent from a hammer.

And level three -- a dent
from a ten-pound kettle bell.

I think we're going to Max out
at the hammer.

I think we're going
all the way.

You always go big.
You always go big!

We're going to get the kettle
bell-dent out of the floor!

We're not going to find
a limit to this hack.

Wow.

Just a good, old-fashioned
Dutch bump.

Kevin:
Oh, that's a shuffle step.

You really did a number
on this plank of wood.

Thank you.

Do you think a shirt that
has been soaked with water

and a hot iron are going to
get any of these dents out?

I'm so curious,
so let's give it a go.

Okay, we're going to run
this iron over this cloth

for about five minutes
or so.

Alright,
let's give it a flip.

♪♪

Oh, my.

Well, hot Christmas.

-Wow.
-Look at that.

That was the deepest gouge
of them all,

and you can see it's actually
starting to come out,

and then over here,
these are almost flush now.

And I don't even see --

these are just gone.

The hack works
at this level.

[ Ding! ]

Just going to hammer back
and down.

That's it.

I wish I were like
a southern judge,

and I could say,
"case dismissed!"

That's deep.

Okay.

Wet t-shirt is on.

Gonna just iron.

Now we're using a wet
t-shirt here,

but you could really use
any cotton cloth to do this.

Yeesh, should we see?

Let's find out if we hacked it
to the limit.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

In three, two --

alright, band-aid's off!

What?
Ooh, what the fart?

Well, it's a little discolored,
but it's fazed.

Yeah.
It's not all the way there,

but it's far enough to where
I'm going, "how the what?"

That worked.

I think we're going to have
to drop a kettle bell.

Alright, bvp.

On the count
of three, two...

-Ooh, okay.
-One.

That was loud.

Yeah, I gouged it.

Now that one's good.
I made a crater.

Yeah, should we...
Felt kind of good.

...test the hack?

Yeah.
Absolutely.

Shirt is down.

Steaming.

It's time to assess
the damage

and see if we hacked it
to the limit.

Do you want to do
the honors?

Yeah.

What?!
Wait a minute.

What?!

Oh, that i-- okay.

This is, like, a whisper
of what it was.

Pack your bags, check the
traffic, and get out of town!

This hack actually worked better
on the damage

caused by the kettle bell
than the shoes.

It totally worked.

This is absolutely viable.

Try as we might, Brooke,
we just couldn't...

Both: Hack it to the limit.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Brooke: Household clutter
holding you back?

Well, snap out of it.

I've got some hacks to, uh,

make use of all that useless
[Bleep] at your place.

Sick of seeing your
ex-boyfriend's shirt

in your apartment?

I've got a hack that will turn
his favorite shirt

into your new favorite,
cute acorn.

I'm just going to take some
scissors and following the seam,

I'm going to go up
the side each way

to where it meets the armpit,

and now you're going
to fold the arms in,

and at this point,
you're just going to cut

the whole sleeve off, like so.

Alright.

[ Laughs ] This is fun.

Now it's sleeveless
and fully open,

so we're just going to get
rid of the back entirely.

You're just going to cut
across the seam

that's on the back
right here.

Okay, we're halfway
to up-cycling this shirt.

We've got the front of an apron
happening right here,

and all you're missing
are the straps,

so you can tie it
around your waist,

so you're going to take
that back portion

and cut a large strip
all the way down the middle.

Wonder if he's dating already?

So soothing --

this repetitive stabbing motion.

♪♪

Ah, there.

Okay, stitch will do ya.

[ Sighs ]
Hacking's never felt so good.

♪♪

Congratulations.

You just up-cycled a useless
piece of your past

into a useful kitchen garment.

He never did cook.

Worthless pos.

Kevin: Next, are wrestling hacks
the key to boosting confidence?

I challenge anyone
who's man enough!

We'll find out when
the hack comes back.

♪♪

Kevin: The world can be cold,
hard, and confidence crushing,

so I'm heading to a place
with no shortage of bravado

to find some hacks that I can
use to convince the world

that I'm not a man
to mess with.

This is "Kevin pereira:
Hack hunter."

Today my never-ending quest
has brought me right here --

Santino bros. Wrestling school,

where I'm going
to learn the profession--

no, no.
No, no, no!

-Hey!
-Wha...

-You get back here.
-No, no.

We're cool.
Is she okay?

What?
Ah!

Ow! What?
You want to be a wrestler?

That's pierced!

Ah, what?
Ah, ah!

I'm good.
I'm good.

Hi. I'm Kevin.
Pleasure to meet you.

-Hi.
-I host "hack my --"

what is it?
Oh, ooh!

Kevin: Okay, we're off
to a rocky start,

but I can't lose hope.

Friends, I'd like you to meet
Laura and Heather.

They make up the killer tag-team
duo that is the killer baes.

And you two hurt people
professionally.

-Yes.
-Yes. Correct.

Okay. Well, I'll ask you.
What makes a good wrestler?

The attitude.

So could you make something
out of this?

Well,
first thing's first,

you're going to need
a stellar look.

But I look like
a triscuit.

I'm, like, basically a saltine
with teeth.

Yeah.
I'm brittle, I'm delicate.

You just need
a good outfit.

We can definitely
hack something

out of what
you're wearing right now.

♪♪

First off, sleeves --
they got to go.

What if I don't have
a permit? [ Laughs ]

For the --
yeah. Yeah.

Let's go ahead
and cut the sleeves off.

Okay, and then we just
throw these away

because these
are useless scraps.

-No, no, no.
-No, no, no.

Of course not.

What you want to do from here
is make this into a bandanna,

so you want to cut off
the very side here.

Get it.

I felt tougher already.

I've never felt
more intense.

I might flip this table.

And just -- wait.

You don't want to do that
without having your wristbands,

and we're going to do that
with your socks.

All you have to do is literally
just cut off

the very top of the sock.

Right on there.
Look at that.

Oh, that is plus-10
to testosterone.

I am feeling it.
Yeah.

What?

Give me
some shake weights!

You guys, uh, ever use
the shake weights?

-No.
-No.

We use weights.
Real weights.

Yeah.
Yes.

It's all about pumping people up
and showing confidence,

so they're confident in you.
Whew, okay.

How do you do that
if you are not confident?

Fake it
till you make it.

What? What? What?

Wow.

Amazing.
I'm hack hogan.

You look great.

Kevin: Dressing like a champion
forced me

to have confidence
in myself.

Plus, these hacks
could really help me

put together
a quick Halloween costume.

You're almost ready.
Okay.

You are going to need
a cool catch-phrase.

So, this has verbs on it.

Sure does.
And then, this one has nouns.

Nouns?
Okay.

Kevin: All this time, I thought
wrestlers created

their own catch phrases,

but it turns out many of them
shed their fears

by turning themselves over
to these wheels of chance.

Hack hogan?
Spin that wheel.

♪♪

"Taste."
"taste"?

-Alright.
-Now -- okay, do I have to --

do you want
to do the other one?

-No, it's your catchphrase.
-No, no.

Hard right.

Kevin: I spun the wheel
and landed on my battle cry.

Stop.

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

Anybody got
a breath mint?

It's time to taste
the [bleep]

Kevin: If I can take
a ridiculous catchphrase

and shout it with conviction,

then I will have hacked
the power to say anything.

I challenge anyone
who's man enough

to let me taste
their [bleep]

I think there's someone
that you could wrestle.

Is it someone that I'm going
to feel okay threatening

with the taste
of [bleep]

Yeah!
Huh?

Now it was time to put
my new-found confidence

to the test.

I --
you want a taste?

Yeah, I want --
I'm ready -- I'm --

I'm -- baby's hungry,
and I'm gonna go ahead and --

okay.

Okay.

Thanks to these hacks,
I'm entering this ring

a new and changed man --

someone confident,
someone ready for anything.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

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